Easter. A time associated with family, church, and, if you're lucky, a day off from work. But what Christ-honoring holiday would be complete without a bloody brawl between overly competitive mothers at an Easter Egg hunt? Thankfully, two moms in Seattle stepped in to fill this year's void.

The fight started Sunday afternoon at Seattle's Woodland Park Zoo, when one mother reportedly shoved a child so her own kid could reach a cluster of easter eggs first. Naturally, the mother of the shoved child was unamused; she reportedly punched the child-pushing mother in the face. A brawl between the two ensued.

"The shoving sparked a confrontation between the first woman (the supposed shover) and the second child's mother, who began fighting and had to be separated three or four times," [Seattle police spokesman Jonah] Spagenthal-Lee said in a statement. "The brawl left the first woman with a bloody nose."

In addition to the fighting, there was, unsurprisingly, considerable cursing between the women, which, combined with the violence, caused the children at the event – most of whom were 4-to-6 years old – to start crying.

The second woman (the face puncher) fled the scene before police arrived. The first woman (the child pusher with the bloody nose) refused to cooperate with police, saying she wasn't interested in pressing charges.

Not quite as Christ-like as a Chinese hipster baby smoking a cigarette but close.

When Luis Brignoni, a 41-year-old Florida Man, heard screams from his backyard, he went outside to discover a terrible scene: his 11-year-old son, Fernando, screaming and bloody-handed as his older son, 13-year-old Luis Jr, stood nearby, beating the family dog over the head with a stick. The dog, a Malamute-wolf mix named Sassy, had just bitten off Fernando's finger and was holding it in its mouth. Brignoni approached the dog to retrieve the severed digit but by that time it was too late – Sassy had swallowed the little finger.

Brignoni made a quick decision.

"I said, 'I've got to go find the finger,'" Brignoni said. "I got my gun and I popped him."

By the time Manatee County sheriff's deputies arrive, Brignoni was already cutting his dead dog's stomach open to recover the finger. A deputy assisted Brignoni in locating the finger and helped him pack it on ice. Alas, there was nothing that could be done to save it; surgeons Tampa General Hospital determined the finger was too mangled to reattach.

Brignoni took his son's loss well. "He might be missing a finger but his other four are good. Everything he could do with five fingers he can do with four," he told Bay New 9.

He was more upset about killing his dog, telling the station it was "basically losing a family member...it was just really tough." Not that he had any regrets. "You don't know what you will do for your child," Brignoni told the Bradenton Herald. "You don't know where you get the strength from."

[Guardian/Image via Bay News 9]

Declaring that North Korea's "nuclear armed forces represent the nation's life which can never be abandoned as long as the imperialists and nuclear threats exist on earth," Supreme Leader Kim Jong Un announced today that the country would be restarting a nuclear reactor it had shut down in 2007, reneging on an agreement it had reached in multilateral talks at the time. The news that the Yongbyon nuclear complex would "restart all nuclear facilities" comes a day after the U.S. sent the destroyer U.S.S. John S. McCain on patrol in the region, and reflected the bellicose tone that Pyongyang has taken since its third successful nuclear test in February. Luckily we're still a ways away from war; all threats between North and South Korea have been conditional ("we will turn your country into a sea of fire... if you provoke us"), and the relaunch of Yongbyon is unlikely to make a huge difference to the country's arsenal. Nonetheless, top U.S. commander in South Korea Gen. James Thurman expressed concern on Good Morning America that an "impulsive decision" by the DPRK leadership could cause "kinetic provocation." [CNN, The Atlantic Wire, NBC]

Bassem Youssef, the Egyptian TV host and satirist known as "Egypt's Jon Stewart," was arrested over the weekend for insulting President Mohamed Morsi and Islam. America's Jon Stewart, who's had Youssef on as a guest in the past, took the opportunity to defend his friend and counterpart (and knock Morsi for anti-Semitism) on The Daily Show last night.

Youssef, for his part, was released on bail yesterday, but not until after he'd had a little more fun at Morsi's expense:

Arriving at the prosecutor general's office on Sunday, Youssef was wearing an oversized version of a graduation hat modelled on one donned by the president when he was awarded an honorary degree in Pakistan earlier in March.

Youssef has worn the hat on his widely-watched show, one of many satirical jabs at the president. Last year, he poked fun of Mursi's repeated use of the word "love" by singing a love song to a red pillow with the president's face printed on it.

Footage posted to YouTube late last week shows a Brazilian woman being pulled out of the way of an oncoming train at quite literally the very last second.

According to local reports, the incident took place at the Corinthians-Itaquera Metro station in São Paulo. The woman had allegedly leaped onto the tracks in order to retrieve her cellphone after it slipped out of her hands.

Metro officials confirmed the March 26th incident to Globo's G1 portal, and said the woman was not injured.

They added that the São Paulo Metropolitan Trains Company's safety standards had been violated, but it remains unclear if the woman will be charged with a crime.

[H/T: Daily of the Day]

New York State Senator Malcolm A. Smith and City Councilman Daniel J. Halloran were arrested early this morning on charges of trying to rig the New York City mayoral race. The two men were among several facing federal corruption charges.

Smith, whose lawyers deny any wrongdoing, was considering running for mayor of New York as a Republican, though he currently serves as a registered Democrat. He was supposedly making payments to Halloran in exchange for his assistance in setting up meetings with Republican leaders to get Smith's name on the ballot.

Smith, a 56-year-old Queens native, worked as a contractor and real estate developer before serving as the first black president of the State Senate. In 2010 he was investigated by a federal grand jury regarding non-profit real estate investments that might have been self-serving. This morning, Smith was taken from his home in handcuffs at the same time Halloran was arrested. Halloran is a Republican from Queens. Noramie F. Jasmin, the mayor of Rockland County village Spring Valley, and her deputy were among the others charged.

[New York Times, image via AP]

An attempt to make a clean getaway turned into a scene right out of a screwball comedy for one Australia thief who slammed into a glass door on his way out of a shopping mall in Perth.

"He made a pretty heavy impact. When he actually hit the glass he was knocked out," said one shop owner.

Passers-by tried to help the thief up, unaware that he had just made off with a 50-year-old woman's handbag.

Just then an accomplice showed up and began threatening to shoot the Good Samaritans.

"He said 'I've got a gun, I've got a gun, I'm gonna shoot you, I'm gonna shoot you'," said bystander Jake Adams. "So, I picked the guy up in front of me, like they do in the movies and held him in front of me."

The thief and his accomplice still managed to escape the scene in a green Lexus, which police say was also stolen.

[H/T: HyperVocal]

It may have been April 1st yesterday, but televangelist Pat Robertson wasn't kidding when he told a viewer that Americans aren't experiencing God's miracles because they are too "sophisticated."

Why do miracles "happen with great frequency in Africa, and not here in the USA?" asked a 700 Club patron Ken. "People overseas didn't go to Ivy League schools," Robertson replied with a chuckle.

"We are so sophisticated, we think we've got everything figured out," the Christian Broadcasting Network chairman continued. "We know about evolution, we know about Darwin, we know about all these things that says God isn't real, we know about all this stuff."

According to Robertson, it's the "skepticism and secularism" that is being taught at "the most advanced schools" around the country that is keeping God's miracles at bay.

Meanwhile, Africans are "simple" and "humble." "You tell ‘em God loves ‘em and they say, ‘Okay, he loves me'," said Robertson. "You say God will do miracles and they say, ‘Okay, we believe him'."

If Americans wish to experience more miracle, Robertson concluded, they must reject their miracle-negating sophistication in favor of the more credulous African way of life.

[video via RightWingWatch]

Are you telling me you don't know who I am? That's a sentence that always goes over well. Filled with humility, sympathy for your fellow human, eschewing vanity, beaming with a deep awareness of your small place in the universe. That's everything that sentence captures.

This was ostensibly the phrase that Knicks and Madison Square Garden owner James Dolan—well-known asshole—cried out just before firing a security guard who requested to see his ID, please. According to witnesses, Dolan flew into a fury outside the exclusive and super-fancy Delta Sky 360 Club and fired her immediately. After a good night's rest, he hired her back the next day. But she will remember him now and forever! Ha!

Here's how the exchange went down, according to the New York Post, when Fiordaliza Hernandez asked to see Dolan's ID after Sunday's Knick game:

JD: "Do you know who I am?"
Presumed silence and lots of people looking on in anticipation of something outrageous pending
JD: "How long have you worked here?"
FH: "Three years."
JD: "I'm your boss! I pay your salary!"
Presumed arguing about the rules, refusal of admittance, then the glorious reversal:
JD: "Give me your ID! You're fired!"

Dolan did not fire the security guard who allowed three ticket-holding bros to waltz right into the Knicks' locker room in January.

[New York Post, image via Getty]

Police in Hampton, Virginia, spent hours investigating an early-morning report of a robbery at a local Waffle House, sending out officers to do a door-to-door neighborhood canvas, sweeping the scene for evidence, and even bringing in the K-9 unit to help track down suspects.

But it was all just a joke.

Susan Alexandria Tinker, a 20-year-old Waffle House employee, had allegedly phoned in the bogus robbery report at 6 AM as part of an April Fools' Day prank on her coworkers.

"Sometimes we'll get incidents where kids are playing around on the phone," said Cpl. Mary Shackelford of the Hampton Police Division. "But usually it's nothing of this caliber."

Tinker was subsequently arrested and charged with falsely summoning police — a misdemeanor which carries a maximum sentence of 12 months in jail and a $2,500 fine.

Tinker was also fired from her job at the Waffle House, and a spokesman for the company said "this kind of behavior" would not be tolerated.

[H/T: Guyism, screengrab via WAVY, mug shot via Daily Press]

Today in normal stories to which everyone can relate: supermodel Heidi Klum and her bodyguard boyfriend spent Easter Sunday performing an ocean rescue operation after Klum's seven-year-old son Henry and his two nannies were swept from shore in a rip current off the coast of Oahu.

Klum told Us that Henry "is a strong swimmer and was able to get back to land." The nannies he was supposed to be watching eventually made it back to shore as well, which is good because otherwise this incident would have been a lot more scarring.

If you are ever caught in a rip current and neither a supermodel, nor her bodyguard, nor your two nannies are available to save you, remember to swim parallel to the shore until you are out of the current, rather than struggling against it. They're usually no more than 100 feet wide, and once you're out of its pull you can swim back to shore.

Before the near-drowning, Klum tweeted a picture from the beach that proved she is very bad at hiding Easter eggs.

UPDATE: Luckily for us, someone was on the beach snapping pictures instead of helping Heidi Klum save people. Click here for dramatic photos of some VERY surprised looking nannies.

[Us // Image via Wenn.com]

A man in Iowa is currently in hospital recovering from an injury he sustained after a tree he was using for target practice fired back at him.

According to initial reports, 27-year-old Logan Bunn was shooting at tree outside his home near Lansing when one of the bullets ricocheted, striking him in an unspecified body part.

Bunn arrived at a La Crosse hospital with non-life-threatening injuries, prompting staffers to notify local police.

Authorities in Allamakee County are still investigating the bizarre incident which occurred early Sunday morning, but say no foul play is suspected.

No word on whether alcohol was a factor.

[H/T: The Sideshow, photo via Shutterstock]

Lost today amidst the news that New York State Senator Malcolm Smith, the state's first black senate leader, had been arrested on bribery charges was the fact that his Republican co-conspirator, Dan Halloran, is the first-ever open pagan to hold elected office in the United States, as Steven Thrasher entertainingly documented in a 2011 Village Voice article:

Halloran was no garden-variety pagan. He was the "First Atheling," or prince, of his own Theodish tribe, called New Normandy. He had "thralls" who swore their allegiance to him. He didn't just spend weekends reconstructing the religious activities of the pre-Christian Norse and Germanic gods—he led his flock, about 100 people at its height, in their polytheistic celebration of the gods (plural). They'd gather for "blot" (sacrifice and feast), "sumble" ("boast and toast of the gods"), and play games that, to the outside eye, looked like something from Dungeons & Dragons or a Renaissance fair.

As Thrasher went on to recount, Halloran had attempted to minimize, and even hide, his pagan beliefs, without ever quite refuting them, during the election. He took down the New Normandy website, on which you used to be able to find photos of Halloran swilling mead from horns and dressing in "medieval garb," and wrote a column called "I believe in God." One pagan described his campaign as "[p]andering to monotheism." "There is not a man who knows him well, not a one, who doesn't hate his guts now," said another.

And now, having forsaken the gods whose good fortune gave him his first success, he finds himself subject to federal bribery charges for attempting to help Smith land the Republican nomination for New York City mayor.

And so we are moved to recite an epic poem in his honor: The Saga of Dan Halloran.

Herein Is Told How Dan Halloran, First Atheling of Theodish New Normandy, Was Arrested in a Bribery Probe

There was a man named Dan whose surname was Halloran; he was the son of a great deputy director of the Office of Management and Budget, and he dwelt in Queens. He was a mighty chief, and the First Atheling of New Normandy, a Theodish tribe of pagans living on Long Island, and had many thralls.

This was in the days when the Tea Party held sway over much of the land, and Dan Halloran allied himself with their number, and was elected to the City Council, the Alþingi of New York, representing the parties of the Libertarians, and the Republicans and the Conservatives, and was celebrated by many as the first heathen to represent his people in elected office. But it was said that Dan Halloran had forsaken his pagan beliefs, and taken down the website of his people, and betrayed them, in the name of power.

Now it came to pass, the chronicler Preet Bharara, U.S. attorney, tells us, that Dan Halloran was approached by Malcolm Smith, a powerful Senator in the State of New York, who also dwelt in Queens, and who was once leader of the Senate entire. And Malcolm Smith told Dan Halloran that he wished to stand for election of Mayor of New York, as a Republican. And because Malcolm Smith had previously sworn his oath to the Democrats, he needed Dan Halloran's aid, for three of the five borough Republican Party Chieftains must needs pledge him their support. And Malcolm Smith said to Dan Halloran, will you help me bribe these leaders, and Dan Halloran replied, yes.

After this Dan Halloran, the First Atheling of Theodish New Normandy, spoke with a great buyer and seller of lands, and through this man agreed upon payments to be conveyed in the borough Party Chieftains in the guise of various contracts. But this man was not what he seemed, and was rather an agent of the F.B.I., and recorded these conversations, and conversations with the Senator Malcolm Smith.

And Dan Halloran was seized by agents of the government. And Malcolm Smith, too. As for the Theodish of New Normandy, who had been forsaken by their Atheling, and had their website removed, little is known.

Here ends the saga of Dan Halloran, First Atheling of Theodish New Normandy.

Samoa Air had more than few people reaching for the calendar this morning to check if April Fools' Day had been extended after the company announced plans to ditch the standard pay-per-seat model in favor of a "fairer" pay-by-weight model.

"Airlines don't run on seats, they run on weight, and particularly the smaller the aircraft you are in the less variance you can accept in terms of the difference in weight between passengers," Samoa Air boss Chris Langton told Australia's ABC Radio. "Anyone who travels at times has felt they have been paying for half of the passenger next to them."

Under the new model, passengers will pay a flat fee of between $0.50 and $2 per kilogram depending on the destination. Each passenger's luggage will also be factored into their overall weight.

"So a family of maybe two adults and a couple of mid-sized kids and younger children can travel at considerable less than what they were being charged before," Langston told the radio station.

If this policy sounds familiar to you, it might be because Air New Zealand claimed to have instituted a similar fare program back on April Fools Day 2011.

But reached for comment by New Zealand's 3 News, a spokeswoman for the airline said the company's new "pay only what you weigh" model is no joke.

Be that as it may, a 3 News comparison of Samoa Air's new air travel rates with comparable airlines flying along similar routes found that, while innovative, the new policy doesn't appear to save the average passenger that much money.

Langston, however, believes pay-by-weight has an invaluable benefit that makes the scheme well worth it.

"People generally are becoming much more weight conscious," he said. "That's a health issue in some areas."

And Samoa is certainly one of those areas. According to recent statistics, over 91.1 percent of residents age 15 and over are overweight.

[screengrab via Samoa Air]

Endlessly malfunctioning pop cultural disaster Michelle Shocked appeared on last night's Piers Morgan Live to clarify last month's seemingly anti-gay babble that pushed her into the spotlight like never before. She was, in a word, opaque.

Here are her initial comments to Morgan after he asked her why she went on that infamous rant that included the words, " If someone would be so gracious as to tweet out that Michelle Shocked just said from stage, ‘God hates faggots.' Would you do it now?":

I admit I made a mistake, Piers. If I had the chance to do it again, I don't think I would have taken the audience up on their choice. I had presented an entire performance, and I framed it as 'truth,' and then I came out back for an encore, and they requested 'reality.' What has consequently taken place ever since then is my manifestation of how little I think of reality.

Things went on like this with Shocked evading the question, "Are you homophobic?" a few times, and returning to her truth-versus-reality beat. When pressed for simplicity, she finally said that she is not homophobic, adding, "But the truth, I don't think, lies in the simplicity. I think it lies in the nuance and that's been completely lost." So that's exasperating. She also admitted that she supports gay marriage and full gay rights. It took her about 10 minutes to get there, but she did. She also said, at one point, hilariously, "I am not a gay," and said that rumor arose when she rebuffed the advances of a manager early in her career.

Ultimately, I think the truth-versus-reality thing means that while the truth is that gay people are no less deserving of rights than anyone else, the reality is that not everyone agrees with it. Only Shocked's god knows why she took such a circuitous route to expressing what everybody already knows, but hey, it's kept her occupied for a few weeks.

The interview ended with Shocked pleading with Morgan to discuss one of her projects. The last thing she said was an interrupted quote from her song "Peachfuzz" ("The apple tree's got some strange fruit / Even Adam would not try / But human nature is living proof / Beauty's in the beholder's eye"). In this interview she went from an amusing, incoherent kook to a desperate artist pleading to be heard. Sad.

[via Towleroad]

"I was being a high school kid getting on Twitter," Texas high school student Kyron Birdine said in his defense after being suspended for tweeting out a photo of a state-mandated standardized test with the acronym YOLO (You Only Live Once) and a smiley face emoticon scratched across the essay portion.

Of course, his four-day on-campus suspension might have also had something to do with the fact that Kyron, an Arlington High School junior, made sure to forward the tweet to school district officials and the Texas Education Agency.

But, much as his use of YOLO would indicate, Kyron remains a boy with no regrets.

As the Dallas Observer notes, Kyron and his classmates are being forced to take both the new State of Texas Assessments of Academic Readiness (STAAR) test and the old Texas Assessment of Knowledge and Skills (TAKS) test, even though only the TAKS will count.

"He and any other Texas students who entered ninth grade before the 2011-12 school year are still evaluated on the TAKS test," the Observer explains. "They're still required to take the STAAR, but mainly so the state can get data they can use to tweak the test before it really matters."

"It wasn't for a grade," Kyron told WFAA's News 8. "Colleges don't see it. It didn't benefit my personal life at all."

Kyron's mother believes her son's punishment was "excessive," telling a reporter suspensions should be reserved "for something really severe."

But Arlington ISD said in a statement that it punished Kyron "in accordance with district disciplinary procedures."

Kyron told News 8 he wouldn't do it again, but apparently that restraint need not apply to other STAAR-takers, whom Kyron has been encouraging to engage in the same passive-aggressive protest that got him suspended.

"Anyone taking the staar test just write YOLO on it," Kyron tweeted, "and hash tag #FreeKyron."

[screengrab via WFAA, photo via Twitter]

Butt-chinned actor John Travolta faced a messy litany of sexual charges last year, accusations that varied in size, shape, and credibility. Most famously, there were the two John Doe masseurs, a pair of anonymous muscle-rubbers whose tag-teamed lawsuit claimed the celebrity Scientologist separately turned their private massage sessions into predatory gay assaults. There was also Fabian Zanzi, a former cruise-ship employee who claimed the VIP guest rubbed his "erect penis" against him. (Both suits were ultimately dropped, both followed by an abrupt silence.)

But those weren't the only serious accusations leveled against the actor: Gawker has obtained an internal report of insurance claims made against Travolta's production company, Constellation Productions Inc., showing four other parties privately issued attorney demand letters "alleging sexual assault" within the last year, including the actor's longtime stunt double, his former driver, and a physical therapist. What's more is that Travolta's insurer paid out $84,500 against two of these six claims.

According to the document, a "loss-run" report from Chartis Insurance (a name briefly used by an AIG subsidiary in an abandoned rebranding attempt), one small payment went to a previously unreported accuser, a Chicago-area sports therapist who worked with the US women's soccer team in 2008. The other line-item payout, $80,750, was allotted to the John Doe masseur case.

A quick refresher on the John Doe #1 and #2 timeline:

• On Friday, May 4, 2012, an anonymous Beverly Hills masseur filed an uncomfortably graphic federal complaint against Travolta, recounting a private session during which the actor became verbally nasty, grabbed the masseur's scrotum, jerked off, and, at one point, offered to broker a three-way with an unnamed actress—but only if the two men had sex first.
• The following Tuesday, May 8, a second plaintiff was added to the original suit by lawyer Okorie Okorocha. John Doe #2, a Georgia-based masseur who would later be outed as John "Casey" Truesdale, accused Travolta of similarly inappropriate behavior during an in-room Atlanta hotel session, including masturbation, repeated insistence on "spreading his butt cheeks," and forcible hugging.
• On May 9, Travolta's lawyer Marty Singer furnished proof that his client had not been in California on the date and time of John Doe #1's alleged transaction. The plaintiff insisted the incident still happened, but that he got the date wrong.
• On May 15, 2012, Okorocha filed a request to dismiss Doe #1 from the suit.
• Three days later, on May 18, John Doe #2 filed a motion to dismiss the case completely, saying publicly that he'd chosen Gloria Allred instead of Okorocha to represent his interests. There is no record of his case being filed again.

These details correspond with the largest financial claim on the loss-run document, a total payout of $80,750: The claimant is listed as "unknown"; the line-item description states the claim arose from a "suit brought on behalf of the plaintiffs alleging assault, sexual battery, intentional infliction of emotional distress" (the same grounds as John Does #1 and #2); and the loss date is May 15, 2012, the same day John Doe #1 was dropped from the suit and three days before John Doe #2 filed a motion to dismiss the case completely. On the report, there are no other claims filed around this time.

All of which is to say that despite Marty Singer's public insistence that no settlement offer was made in the John Doe case, Travolta's insurance company tells a different story. (It bears noting that $80,750, while not an insubstantial amount, is orders of magnitude lower than the $2 million in damages the John Does initially demanded.)

The other insurance payout cited in the report—a far smaller amount of $3,850—went to claimant Mark Higgins, identified here as a "former employee" whose attorney issued a "demand letter...alleging sexual assault." That would presumably be the same Mark Higgins profiled by the Limerick Leader in 2007, an Irish triathlete turned sports-injury therapist who "treated some high profile stars including John Travolta who suffered a back injury while playing golf in Adare some years ago."

Adare Manor is an extravagant five-star hotel and golf resort in Limerick where Travolta has stayed. In May 2004, ShowBiz Ireland photographed the actor driving his late son Jett around the Emerald Isle grounds; you can still find those images on Getty. Higgins, who now lives outside of Chicago with his wife and son, resided in Ireland until 2005. His LinkedIn profile puts him at the Irish Institute of Physical Therapy and Applied Science from 2001 to 2004. (An Adare Manor Human Resources representative couldn't confirm or deny whether Adare directly employed Higgins, citing a difficulty with employee-record archives prior to 2006.) So the timetable aligns, as does the pattern of transaction surrounding previous allegations: One of Higgins's professional specialties is medical massage.

Even Fabian Zanzi's suit alleged that Travolta's assault began with the seemingly innocent request of a neck rub. His name and information also appears on the insurance-claim list; it shows up as open and unpaid.

The names of three other Travolta associates appear on the insurance list, citing claims brought on by attorney demand letters "alleging sexual assault" that hadn't been fulfilled. One is Mark Riccardi, a veteran stunt-coordinator who'd worked as Travolta's stunt-double for years on projects like Get Shorty, Face/Off, and Battlefield Earth and continues to use his Travolta affiliation as a selling point, even on his Twitter account. Riccardi's attorney, Michael Bressler, denied any knowledge of the demand letter. "He's made no allegations against Mr. Travolta," Bressler insisted over the phone. "I ask that you not include his name."

The report also states that someone named Anthony Brazas—which happens to be the name of Travolta's former driver and stand-in—issued an attorney demand letter "alleging sexual assault," but has not been paid by the insurer. Another individual named James Carney, whose identity and relationship to Travolta couldn't be determined, is also listed as having made an assault claim.

At the time of the report, all six claims were listed as still open.

We contacted Travolta's lawyer Marty Singer, Mark Higgins, Zanzi's attorneys, Tony Brazas, Okorie Okorocha, and AIG for comment; none returned our messages.

[Image via Getty]

A pair of popular morning show hosts from a Southwest Florida radio station have been suspended indefinitely following an April Fools' Day joke that the station's General Manager believes crossed a line.

Val St. John and Scott Fish, a radio "institution" with 26 years at Gator Country 101.9 between them, told listeners yesterday morning that Lee County's water supply had been tainted with dihydrogen monoxide.

The joke being that dihydrogen monoxide is merely another name for water.

The duo's annual April Fools' Day gags are well known in the region, and the so-called "dihydrogen monoxide hoax" is as old as humor, but GM Tony Renda felt it went too far.

"They made a bad call. It was a bad call," Renda said.

Lee County Utilities, which was forced to field calls from concerned citizens for most of yesterday morning, agrees with Renda.

"When it comes to the drinking water supply, it is critical people understand there is not something wrong," said a spokeswoman for the company. "If we did want the news out there, that's not how we would do it."

Some listeners disagreed with the decision to take the longtime DJs off the air.

"Are you kidding me they did not deserve what happened to them...We have lost it in America," said country music fan who said she will now be patronizing Gator Country's rival The River instead.

But suspension may be the least of Fish and St. John's worries before long.

"My understanding is it is a felony to call in a false water quality issue," a Florida Department of Health officer told the News-Press.

[H/T: MSN Now, screengrabs via Gator Country, Facebook]

Fans of Biggie will remember that the late but relentlessly beloved rap icon often remarked on his hardscrabble younger years in Brooklyn's Bedford-Stuyvesant neighborhood, where he grew up in an apartment with a single mother. Now, 41 years after Christopher Wallace was born, and 16 years after he was murdered, the Notorious BIG's childhood home is up for sale. But things, it would appear, "done changed" since Biggie lived there.

The apartment, renovated a few years ago, is a far cry from the cramped, bland place depicted in BIG's rags-to-riches anthem "Juicy," what with its three bedrooms and brightly lit den. Beyond that, the former Biggie residence is not located in Biggie's beloved Bed-Stuy, as one might have been led to believe from the rapper's frequent shoutouts ("Bedford-Stuyvesant the livest one!"). Instead, apartment 3L at 226 Saint James Place is in neighboring Clinton Hill, just down the street from the fancy private art college Pratt.

So, which is it? Have the vagaries of New York City neighborhood boundaries caused what was once Bed-Stuy to become Clinton Hill, in an effort to not scare off white home buyers? Or, was Biggie kind of lying all along when he said, "My Bed-Stuy flow's malicious, delicious"?

I asked Judith Lief, the woman selling BIG's childhood home and the person who stands to make a nice commission if the place sells for its $725,000 asking price, what her thoughts are on the matter; all she could offer was, "I really don't know the answer to that question." Perhaps you can pry more from her yourself at one of the apartment's open houses, starting tomorrow.

YouTube prankster Vitaly Zdorovetskiy — he of the incredibly ill-advised "Miami Zombie Attack Prank" and that nasty BangBros porn (NSFW) where he desperately tried to get it up but couldn't — is back by popular demand with a special April Fools' Day prank.

"Decided to prank my mom so simply by just telling her I am addicted to drugs," Zdorovetskiy writes, "and it turned out to be the best reaction ever."

If by "best reaction ever" he means frightening his poor put-upon and overworked mother to the point where she is left with no other recourse but to try and physically beat some sense into her miscreant offspring both before and after his purely evil prank, then yes.

Best ever.

[H/T: BroBible, Reddit]