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Baltimore Jury Declares a Mistrial in Case of Cop Involved in Freddie Gray's Death

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Baltimore Jury Declares a Mistrial in Case of Cop Involved in Freddie Gray's Death

On Wednesday, a jury in Baltimore was unable to reach a verdict in the case of William Porter, an officer on trial for manslaughter, assault and other charges in the case of Freddie Gray’s death.

After informing the judge that they were deadlocked on Tuesday, the group of 12 realized that they were hung on all of the charges against Officer Porter, according to ABC News.

In addition to involuntary manslaughter and second-degree assault, Porter faces charges of reckless endangerment and misconduct. He has pled not guilty to all charges and is the first of six officers involved in Gray’s death to go before a jury.

In April, Gray died in police custody after receiving a “rough ride,” meaning officers drove recklessly while leaving their passengers like Gray unbuckled and handcuffed in the back of a police van.


Contact the author at Hillary@jezebel.com.

Image via AP.


Martin Shkreli Finds a Second Good Use For His Blood Money

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Martin Shkreli Finds a Second Good Use For His Blood Money

Martin Shkreli has a lot of money that in a just society he would not have. He found a decent use for some of it recently, when he relinquished a reported $2 million to the Wu-Tang Clan in exchange for an exclusive album that is probably not very good anyway. But Shkreli has come up with an even better use for the money he’s making off the backs of AIDS patients.

http://gawker.com/guess-who-boug...

In an interview with the rap website HipHopDX, Shkreli says that he’s trying to bail rapper Bobby Shmurda out of prison. Shmurda has been at Rikers for nearly a year after being arrested by the NYPD on murder, attempted murder and various gun and drug charges. Says Shkreli:

We’re actually in discussion to try to bail out Bobby Shmurda. Forget whether you think he’s guilty or not, the guy should not be sitting in jail right now. It’s insane. He’s from Brooklyn. I’m from Brooklyn. He deserves a fair trial. He deserves good lawyers. He doesn’t have good lawyers. His label is hanging him out to dry and so I have a conference call tomorrow morning with them (December 15). I’ll show up with $2 million bail money no fucking problem. He’s not going to flee the country. I’m not going to lose anything. I’m going to try to make that happen. That’s one thing I’m working on.

Bobby Shmurda does deserve a fair trial and he shouldn’t be in jail. His label is hanging him out to dry. Hey, Martin Shkreli is right!

Now, are you going to have to look past some crazy shit and narrowly focus in on the few agreeable sentiments that Martin Shkreli expresses in this interview? You are. You’re gonna have to do that:

I’m a fan and I’m a business man. I’m not going to do this for free. [Laughs] He’s going to have to do something for me. I don’t know what that’s going to look like yet. He’s going to owe me one, obviously. I’d like to pay for his legal defense as well. I’m a big fan but also I’m an opportunist. You know that. I see an opportunity here. He’s a talented guy. Every concert I go to, people yell “Free Shmurda.” He reminds me of me, quite frankly. The guy’s totally irreverent. He doesn’t give a damn what people think. Totally irreverent. Totally I don’t give a fuck. I love him. I just love that style. He’s from not far from where I’m from in Brooklyn. I’d love to help him out. I wish someone would have helped me out when I needed help. He doesn’t have much money, I know that. He’s definitely hurting for money. He needs a bailout, basically. I’d like to help him out. No big promises, but I’ll see what I can do. Like I said, if I can post the $2 million, I’d do it tomorrow. I’m working on it and hopefully we’ll see him free soon.

Alex Spiro, Shmurda’s attorney, who Shkreli calls “not good” in the interview, told DNAinfo that he had no comment on Shkreli’s interview.

[image via CNBC]


Contact the author at jordan@gawker.com.

Far Right French Politician Marine Le Pen Acquitted of Hate Speech

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Far Right French Politician Marine Le Pen Acquitted of Hate Speech

On Tuesday, the New York Times reports, a French court acquitted Marine Le Pen, the president of the far-right National Front party, of charges that she incited religious hatred against Muslim with comments she made while campaigning for her current position.

http://jezebel.com/frances-far-ri...

In 2010, at a rally in Lyon, Le Pen compared Muslims praying in the street to the German occupation of France during World War II.

“If you want to talk about the occupation, let’s talk about that, by the way, because here we are talking about the occupation of our space,” she said, according to the Times.

“It’s an occupation of entire stretches of territory, of neighborhoods where religious law is applied. This is an occupation. Sure, there are no armored vehicles, no soldiers, but it’s still an occupation, and it weighs on the inhabitants.”

Le Pen, the daughter of the National Front’s founder—who was himself expelled from the party in August—was facing a fine of about $50,000 and a sentence of up to a year in prison.

Lawyers for the government argued that she was exercising her right to free speech, and that she wasn’t only speaking of all Muslims in France, just some of them. Clearly, the judges agreed with that reasoning.

After her acquittal was handed down, Le Pen gloated on Twitter.

“Five years of aspersions, one acquittal,” she wrote. “And now how many slanderers will apologize?”


Photo via AP Images. Contact the author of this post: brendan.oconnor@gawker.com.

Marcello Trebitsch, the son-in-law of former New York state Assembly Speaker Sheldon Silver, was sen

Where Was Your Underperforming Hedge Fund's Decadent Holiday Party This Year?

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Where Was Your Underperforming Hedge Fund's Decadent Holiday Party This Year?

It was a tough year for hedge funds: the third worst, according to the Absolute Return Composite Index, since 1998. (A bad ten years, actually.) But holiday parties are about togetherness and gratitude or whatever, so why not invite Katy Perry and Maroon 5 if you can still swing it?

Some firms got trips to resorts in Florida, others went big closer to home. Reuters reports:

Ken Griffin’s Citadel marked its 25th anniversary with major parties last month. One, in its hometown of Chicago, was a black tie affair featuring singer Perry backed by costumed dancers and an elaborate lighting display, according to video clips of the event posted online. Another, in New York, featured band Maroon 5 and violinists suspended by strings. Citadel’s main hedge funds have again performed well this year and the firm now manages a record $25 billion.

Viking, Andreas Halvorsen’s Greenwich, Connecticut-based firm, had an anniversary party for employees at the Museum of Natural History in New York, according to a person familiar with the situation. The October event featured dinner and Cirque du Soleil-style performers. Viking, founded in 1999, now manages more than $30 billion, making it one of the largest private fund managers in the world. Its main hedge fund was up about 4 percent for the year through September, according to a report in hedge fund news provider Alpha.

Meanwhile, Mike Harris’ Campbell will continue its tradition of bringing a Santa Claus impersonator to the company party to give out presents. Employees will also be given soft-shell winter jacket emblazoned with the company logo. Adam Tremper, Campbell’s marketing director, wrote to Reuters in an email: “Campbell generally does a little extra for the employees around Christmas.”

“It’s a very difficult and real balancing act,” Westwood Partners recruiting specialist Adam Herz said. “You want to recognize people for working hard even without bonuses and at the same time not offend clients when you may have lost money and taken fees.”

Very difficult and real. Like managing a hedge fund!


Photo via AP Images. Contact the author of this post: brendan.oconnor@gawker.com.

Is This the Whitest Tweet Ever

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Is This the Whitest Tweet Ever

In today’s Tweet Beat, Allure is incredibly amused by the properities of Tina Fey’s skin, John Krasinski is making me feel weird and Christina Applegate sobs.


Contact the author at kara.brown@jezebel.com .

Secret Service Officer on Leave Shot and Killed in Washington, D.C.

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Secret Service Officer on Leave Shot and Killed in Washington, D.C.

A Secret Service officer, Arthur Baldwin, was shot and killed Tuesday in what police say may have been an attempted robbery, NBC Washington reports. Baldwin was most recently assigned to the White House, but had been placed on administrative leave after he was accused of breaking into his ex-girlfriend’s house.

http://gawker.com/reports-secret...

From NBC Washington:

Police are looking for three people in connection with Baldwin’s killing. Earlier Wednesday, they said they were also looking for a silver or gray car, but that car turned out to be the victim’s car, they said.

Baldwin, known as A.J., had a wife and three children, and had been at the Secret Service for eight years. A Secret Service spokesperson said the agency is aware of Baldwin’s death.

“We express our condolences to the family of our employee,” the spokesperson said.

On Tuesday, before he was killed, Baldwin had appeared in court on a destruction of property charge. An earlier burglary charge in connection with the April incident had been dismissed.

According to the Washington Post, Assistant D.C. Police Chief Peter Newsham said Baldwin was shot several times “in broad daylight,” in an area of southwest Washington, between Bellevue and Washington Highlands. He died at a hospital.


Image via NBC. Contact the author of this post: brendan.oconnor@gawker.com.

After 33 years in prison, three men were exonerated Wednesday in the 1980 house fire that killed a m


Elderly Woman's Death Being Investigated as Homicide After Undertaker Discovers Stab Wound Police Missed

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Elderly Woman's Death Being Investigated as Homicide After Undertaker Discovers Stab Wound Police Missed

Last month, an 82-year-old woman died in her kitchen in Brooklyn. Her death certificate said she died of natural causes. Now, the New York Times reports, the officers who found her body may be disciplined after a funeral director noticed a stab wound on her neck they had missed.

No autopsy was ordered for Myrtle McKinney, who was declared dead on November 9th but may have died days before. She was found lying on her kitchen in her home, at the Carter G. Woodson houses, in Brownsville. Autopsies are not required for all deaths in New York, and McKinney was diagnosed with both diabetes and hypertension.

Earlier this week, the office of the Chief Medical Examiner determined this week that McKinney died as a result of a stab wound. She also had blunt force injuries: three broken ribs and some facial bruising. The injuries “were not easily determined by initial viewing,” Robert K. Boyce, the NYPD’s chief of detectives, told reporters on Tuesday.

“The cause of death is stab wound of neck and incised wounds of right upper extremity with blunt impact injuries of head, torso and right upper extremity, with contributing condition of hypertensive and atherosclerotic cardiovascular disease,” a spokeswoman for the medical examiner, Julie Bolcer, told the New York Daily News. “The manner of death is homicide.”

On Wednesday, Boyce revealed that detectives “couldn’t get to the scene.” He did not explain why they could not get to the scene, but said that they should have gone, and, if they had, the department would be “in a different place right now.”

McKinney lived in the Woodson houses, a NYCHA development that provides housing for the elderly, for over a decade. From the Times:

Leon Gavin, who lives down the hall, said he would greet her. A few months ago, he said, she came to him to ask for help with her cable. “I don’t mean to bother you,” he remembered her saying, “but can I get you to help me with something?”

“She was nice,” Mr. Gavin, 75, added. “She felt kind of lonely.”

A few days before her death, he said, Ms. McKinney came to him again. She believed a relative had been stealing money from her, he said, and she wanted to go to the bank. He said she struggled to read, so he helped her look over her statements; no one had taken her money.

On Tuesday, Boyce said investigators are following leads on possible assailants but would not elaborate. “We will not say anything at this time, because we need some confidentiality in the case.”


Image via Google Maps. Contact the author of this post: brendan.oconnor@gawker.com.

Today's Best Deals: Logitech Peripherals, Warm Pajamas, Moto X Pure, and More

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Today's Best Deals: Logitech Peripherals, Warm Pajamas, Moto X Pure, and More

A rare Sonos discount, tons of Logitech peripherals, and warm pajamas highlight today’s best deals. Bookmark Kinja Deals and follow us on Twitter to never miss a deal. Commerce Content is independent of Editorial and Advertising, and if you buy something through our posts, we may get a small share of the sale. Click here to learn more.

http://www.amazon.com/Logitech-Wirel...

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Today’s Best Apparel Deals

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Top Deals


Today's Best Deals: Logitech Peripherals, Warm Pajamas, Moto X Pure, and More

Amazon hypes this apparel sale as an opportunity to buy last minute gifts, but damn if I don’t want to buy cheap wool socks and pajama pants for myself. [50-75% Off Last-Minute Clothing & Accessory Gifts at Amazon]


Today's Best Deals: Logitech Peripherals, Warm Pajamas, Moto X Pure, and More

In case you need a few more last minute gift ideas, Amazon just kicked off a Gold Box deal on a bunch of popular Logitech accessories, starting as low as $9.

Inside, you’ll find an Anywhere Mouse MX for $27, a 2.1 speaker system for $26, a $38 solar-powered keyboard, and a whole lot more. As with all Gold Box deals, these prices are only available today, and the best stuff could sell out early, so get clicking. [Logitech Gold Box]

http://www.amazon.com/Logitech-980-0...

http://www.amazon.com/Logitech-Wirel...


Today's Best Deals: Logitech Peripherals, Warm Pajamas, Moto X Pure, and More

If you need a last minute gift for the Nintendo fan in your life, this imported Mario figurine includes interchangeable expressions, item blocks, a coin, two enemies, and more. That’s an absolute steal at $20. [Good Smile Super Mario: Mario Nendoroid Action Figure, $20]

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/AS...


Today's Best Deals: Logitech Peripherals, Warm Pajamas, Moto X Pure, and More

Assuming your computer can handle it, it’s officially not crazy to upgrade to a 4K monitor.

Unlike most sub-$500 options, this 27” model from Dell features an IPS panel with amazing color accuracy and viewing angles, and you can pick one up from Amazon for just $450. I happen to own the 24” model of the same monitor, and I absolutely love it. [Dell Ultra HD 4k Monitor P2715Q 27-Inch Screen LED-Lit Monitor, $450]

http://www.amazon.com/Dell-Monitor-P...


Today's Best Deals: Logitech Peripherals, Warm Pajamas, Moto X Pure, and More

$10 isn’t a huge discount, but if anyone on your holiday shopping list wants a new Apple TV, and you missed out on some short-lived Black Friday savings, this is probably the best deal we’ll see before next year.

Apple TV 32GB ($139) | Staples

Apple TV 64GB ($189) | Staples

http://reviews.gizmodo.com/new-apple-tv-r...


Today's Best Deals: Logitech Peripherals, Warm Pajamas, Moto X Pure, and More

The Moto X Pure “does Android better than Google,” and Amazon will sell you one today for an absurdly low $350. For context, these were on sale for $450 with $30 in Amazon credit on Black Friday, so if you couldn’t quite pull the trigger back then, I wouldn’t hesitate today. [Moto X Pure, $350]

https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_no...


Today's Best Deals: Logitech Peripherals, Warm Pajamas, Moto X Pure, and More

Black Friday was oddly lacking in major Sonos discounts, but you can snag a rare $30 discount on a Play:1 speaker today from Rakuten. [Sonos Play:1 All-In-One Wireless Music System, $170]


Today's Best Deals: Logitech Peripherals, Warm Pajamas, Moto X Pure, and More

I used to chop garlic by hand, and I think deep down, I was hoping I’d cut my finger off just so I’d have an excuse to stop. That all changed when I bought a garlic press, which minces a clove in a matter of seconds, and does a far better job of it than I could ever do with a knife. [Professional Stainless Steel Garlic Press Complete Bundle with Silicone Tube Peeler, $9]

http://www.amazon.com/Stainless-X-Ch...


Today's Best Deals: Logitech Peripherals, Warm Pajamas, Moto X Pure, and More

This was $5 cheaper on Black Friday, but if you find yourself in need of a lot of extra file storage, it’s tough to beat 5TB for $115. [Seagate Backup Plus 5TB Desktop External Hard Drive, $115]

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00...


Today's Best Deals: Logitech Peripherals, Warm Pajamas, Moto X Pure, and More

If you ever take your pets on car rides, you can keep them secure in the back seat with a two pack of pet set belts for just $6. [Etekcity 2-Pack Pet Car Seat Belt, $6 with code BELTDOG3]

http://www.amazon.com/Etekcity-2-Pac...

Note: As our friend Jason Chen points out on Twitter, these aren’t really designed to keep your pet safe in a car crash. They’ll keep your pets from climbing on top of you in the front seat (which could prevent an accident!), but if you want an actual safety device, you’ll want to look into SleepyPod harnesses.


Today's Best Deals: Logitech Peripherals, Warm Pajamas, Moto X Pure, and More

Everyone likes a little candlelight every now and then, but if you don’t want to keep buying new candles (or houses after you burn yours down), this 6-pack of flameless alternatives is just $13 today. [Kohree Realistic Battery-Powered Flameless Pillar Candles - 6 Pack, $13 with code QEEI4BK3]

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00LHQBAUK


Today's Best Deals: Logitech Peripherals, Warm Pajamas, Moto X Pure, and More

Battery-powered LED night lights were a huge hit this year on Kinja Deals, and two popular options are on sale right now. Even if you already bought a bunch of these (likely!), these would make great gifts.

[3 Pack] OxyLED Stick-on Anywhere Portable LED Wireless Motion Sensing LED Night Light ($18) | Amazon | Use code DHYVYQB8

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B014P7G4PS

BOGO Oxyled SL05 LED Solar Powered Step Garden Wall Path Lights, Stainless Steel ($15) | Amazon | Add two to cart and use code X2BKWCG4

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00VJIMWZ8



Today's Best Deals: Logitech Peripherals, Warm Pajamas, Moto X Pure, and More

$20 for 16GB is still a rip-off, but in the proprietary world of Vita memory cards, it’s the best price we’ve ever seen. [16GB PlayStation Vita Memory Card, $20]

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B006JKASAC/...


Today's Best Deals: Logitech Peripherals, Warm Pajamas, Moto X Pure, and More

Three classic Hitchcock films on Blu-ray for one low price. This would be a great little gift for the film buff on your list. [Alfred Hitchcock: The Classic Collection -Notorious / Rebecca / Spellbound, $14]

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00AQMGQVY/...


Today's Best Deals: Logitech Peripherals, Warm Pajamas, Moto X Pure, and More

We’ve seen several deals lately on Philips’ life-changing wake-up lights, but if you’re not among the 20,000+ Gawker media readers who have already pulled the trigger, the entry level model just dropped to its lowest price ever.

http://gizmodo.com/a-light-up-ala...

Unlike an unsympathetic traditional alarm clock, the Philips Wake-Up Light eases you awake with a gradually-brightening light that simulates a natural sunrise, which is how humans are designed to wake up anyway. And of course, it will still nudge you awake with a gentle beep when it’s really time to get out of bed. It also doubles as a very warm and pleasant reading light as you’re getting ready to go to sleep. I’ve owned this thing for nearly a year, and I can definitely tell the difference when I sleep away from home and have to rely on my iPhone alarm. [Philips HF3500/60 Wake-Up Light, $48. Clip the $10 coupon]

http://www.amazon.com/Philips-HF3500...


Today's Best Deals: Logitech Peripherals, Warm Pajamas, Moto X Pure, and More

Let’s be honest here, thin fabric koozies are mostly useful for decoration; they don’t really keep a can cold for very long. This imposing metal Thermos contraption though? It’s the real deal.

Thermos’s stainless steel can insulator uses vacuum insulation and thick walls to actually provide a barrier between your beverage and the outside world. They go so far as to claim that it will keep a can cold for up to 3 hours, and even if that’s a little bit of marketing hyperbole, what could possibly be in that can that takes more than an hour to drink?

Over 1,200 Amazon reviewers have given the Thermos a 4.7 star review average, and you can get one (or more!) for just $10 right now, an all-time low. This would make a great stocking stuffer for the holidays, so check out before they sell out. [Thermos Stainless Steel Beverage Can Insulator for 12 Ounce Can, $10]

http://www.amazon.com/Thermos-Stainl...


Remember the Lytro Illum? The professional-grade light field camera that could refocus and shift perspective on photos after you took them? It was undoubtedly cool, but a tough sell at its original $1600 price. But could you be tempted at $380? [LYTRO ILLUM 40 Megaray Light Field Camera, $380]

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00KAX40LM/...


Today's Best Deals: Logitech Peripherals, Warm Pajamas, Moto X Pure, and More

If your phone supports Qi wireless charging, today’s your lucky day. Anker’s basic charging pad is down to just $12, which is a fantastic deal for most phones. [Anker Wireless Charger PowerPort Qi Wireless Charging Pad, $12]

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00Y839YMU/...


Today's Best Deals: Logitech Peripherals, Warm Pajamas, Moto X Pure, and More

We see deals on hard drive enclosures almost every day, but even by our standards, $7 is cheap. If you have any spare hard drives or SSDs lying around, this is a great excuse to turn them into external drives. [ORICO 2.5” USB 3.0 SATA Hard Drive Enclosure, $7 with code 3QGJVXWL]

http://www.amazon.com/ORICO-Tool-Fre...


Today's Best Deals: Logitech Peripherals, Warm Pajamas, Moto X Pure, and More

What’s the most important thing you can do with your money this holiday season? FALSE. The correct answer was not give any more of it than you have to to airline companies. This travel-sized luggage scale is just $7 today, and will alert you if all those gifts you don’t want but have to carry back home are going to put your bag over the weight limit. [Tiptiper Digital Multifunction Luggage Scale, $7 with code IAKPQZQE]

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0151KUA6W


Today's Best Deals: Logitech Peripherals, Warm Pajamas, Moto X Pure, and More

Many newer Android smartphones support a technology called Qualcomm Quick Charge, which allows them to charge up to 75% faster than usual when plugged into a certified high-power charger. If your phone is supported, here’s the best deal we’ve ever seen on Aukey’s single-port wall charger. [Aukey Quick Charge 2.0 18W USB Turbo Wall Charger, $6 with code PICCIE72]

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00...


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Every Word Jezebel Used to Describe Donald Trump in 2015

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Every Word Jezebel Used to Describe Donald Trump in 2015

Writing about Donald Trump is a thankless task, made only faintly bearable by coming up with new ways to describe him. Below, an exhaustive list of every phrase this website came up with to talk about Trump in 2015.

As you can see, these descriptors got both funnier and depressingly numerous as the year went on. You’ll also notice a very distinct drop between February and May, and there’s a reason for that: Trump announced his candidacy in June, and for the preceding few months, he wisely didn’t make a ton of news. For a time there, after he did announce, it was funny enough all by itself to just write “presidential candidate Donald Trump.” Those times are over, and here we stand: bruised, exhausted, and with hundreds of new adjectives. Enjoy!

January

A really relaxed guy

February-May

June

An ambitious corn dog that escaped from the concession stand at a rural Alabama fairground, stole an unattended wig, hopped a freight train to Atlantic City and never looked back

Orange asshat

Four-time bankruptcy filer and seething hernia mass

July

Bone-in ham

Sun-dried tomato

A shithead

Adult blobfish

Deflated football

Fart-infused lump of raw meat

August

Melting pig carcass

Disgraced racist

Talking comb-over

Human equivalent of cargo pants that zip away into shorts

Cheeto-dusted bloviator

Fuzzy meat wad

September

Bag of flour

Human turd

Not in any way sexist, you bimbos

A man who cherishes women

Future leader of the free world

Decomposing ear of corn

His own best parody

A rich idiot ... willing to allow garbage to fall out of his mouth without batting a single golden lash

Pond scum

October

Noted troll

The class clown that everyone wishes would be quiet and let the class learn

Melting businessman

The person still inexplicably leading the Republican presidential primary

Wax museum figure on a very hot day

Soggy burlap sack

Bag of toxic sludge

Your next president and ruler for life

A brightly burning trash fire

Impoverished urchin

Aggressively stupid

November

Great judgment-haver

Man-sized sebaceous cyst

Enlarged pee-splattered Sno Cone

Empty popcorn bag rotting in the sun

Man-shaped asbestos insulation board

Hair plug swollen with rancid egg whites

Inside-out lower intestine

Dusty barrel of fermented peepee

Usually reasonable burlap sack full of rancid Peeps

Degloved zoo penis

Presidential candidate and bargain bin full of yellowing Jean-Claude Van Damme movies

Hairpiece come to life

Normal-looking human man and entirely credible choice as future leader of the free world

Decomposing pumpkin pie inhabited by vicious albino squirrels

A dishrag that on closer inspection is alive with maggots

Lead paint factory explosion

Candied yam riddled with moldy spider carcasses

December

Enraged Gak spill

The shriveled pinto bean you had to pluck out of your Chipotle burrito basket

Human-sized infectious microbe

Poorly-trained circus orangutan

Chester Cheetah impersonator

Lumbering human-like tardigrade

A tiny piece of dried cat poop that you found in your rug

I’m honestly not sure if we should be proud of ourselves here or terribly, terribly depressed.


Image via AP, illustration by Bobby Finger

Contact the author at anna.merlan@jezebel.com.
Public PGP key
PGP fingerprint: 67B5 5767 9D6F 652E 8EFD 76F5 3CF0 DAF2 79E5 1FB6

The Feds Didn't Seize Shkreli's Wu-Tang Album This Morning, an FBI Spokesperson Says 

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The Feds Didn't Seize Shkreli's Wu-Tang Album This Morning, an FBI Spokesperson Says 

When Martin Shkreli was arrested by federal agents for fraud this morning, the first thought in your head was probably something along the lines of “The fucker deserves it.” The second might have been “But what’s going to happen to Once Upon a Time in Shaolin?” So far, the answer is “nothing.”

The hoodie-wearing price gouger stormed back into the public consciousness when it was announced that he had purchased the new Wu-Tang Clan album for a purported $2 million. Only one copy of Once Upon a Time in Shaolin exists, and the group auctioned it off to the highest bidder, who happened to be Shkreli.

The indictment against the most hated man on the internet included a section announcing that the government would seek forfeiture “of any property, real or personal, which constitutes or is derived from proceeds traceable to any such offenses.” Would the Wu-Tang record be seized? One man has already filed a FOIA request for a copy of Shaolin, and the Atlantic’s David Graham devoted a post this morning to wondering whether it would be eligible for forfeiture. At a press conference this morning, U.S. Attorney Robert Capers declined to comment about whether the album had been seized.

But Kelly Langmesser, and FBI spokesperson, told a Gawker reporter that there was “no seizure” at Shkreli’s midtown apartment this morning. When asked to clarify that the Wu-Tang album specifically had not been taken, she confirmed that it had not. (It’s possible that the record wasn’t even in the apartment—when Businessweek broke the news of the sale earlier this month, Shkreli hadn’t even heard Shaolin yet, and it’s unclear whether he’s even taken delivery of the physical album.)

It’s also possible that Shaolin will be taken by the feds at a later date. The indictment specifies that property might be seized from Shkreli upon conviction, and he’s only just been arrested this morning. However, Penn law professor Louis Rulli, the asset forfeiture expert whom Graham consulted with, told him it’s unlikely that the record could be directly connected to allegedly ill-begotten funds, a necessary clause for seizing it. “The government would need to either demonstrate that the property represented the direct proceeds of illegal activity or that there is a nexus—a substantial connection—between the underlying criminal offense with which he is charged and the property the government wishes to seize (and ultimately forfeit)...I suspect that it would be very hard for the government in this case to directly tie the album (or its purchase funds) to the underlying offense,” Rulli said.

Where is Once Upon a Time in Shaolin? What will become of it? We don’t know for sure. But we know that it isn’t sitting in an FBI evidence room in Manhattan—not yet, anyway.


Image via AP. Contact the author at andy@gawker.com.

Whoa.

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Whoa. Now this is weird.

All the girls in my office are saying how cute Martin is. They’re all being very complimentary of his physical appearance. I’m trying to tell them that this guy is seven shades of very bad and they are having none of it.

Last week my bartender told me his gf thinks Martin is “Hot as balls.” WTF??? Is this really a thing? Martin the hot pharma-CEO and part-time jailbird?

That Time When Triumph The Insult Comic Dog Mocked Me For Loving Star Wars

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When I decided to wait outside the Ziegfeld Theater in May 2002 for Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones, I hoped to be part of history. That happened—but it wasn’t how I expected.

You see, that was when Late Night with Conan O’Brien show sent Robert Smigel’s ultra popular creation Triumph the Insult Comic Dog to make fun of Star Wars fans in a skit that has since become legendary. And I watched the whole thing unfold in person. You can watch it above, if you’ve never seen it.

For me, I’d hoped Star Wars history would be made by being among the first to see George Lucas’ latest movie, a moment I’d been eagerly anticipating for years. But no. History hasn’t been kind to Attack of the Clones, but it has been exceedingly kind to Triumph’s skit, for good reason. It’s absolutely hilarious.

“It’s still the Triumph sketch I hear the most about and I’d say it’s still the best,” Smigel told io9. “The simplest explanation is that it features the funniest straight men Triumph’s ever encountered. So you’re laughing not only at the jokes but the faces, the costumes and committment. There’s so much to enjoy.”

Every few weeks, someone will tweet a link to the skit—as a reminder of not just how funny Triumph is, but of how idiotic Star Wars fans can be. Sometimes I’ll chime in and say “I’m in that video.” Other times, I’ll just say something like, “You don’t know the half of what happened.” And in all that time, over 13 years now, I’ve never written about it. Until today.

That Time When Triumph The Insult Comic Dog Mocked Me For Loving Star Wars

Honestly, I don’t have any kind of big smoking gun reveal. But, the fact of the matter is, the whole skit was heavily choreographed. Shocker, I know. A TV show used rehearsed jokes and staged events to make something funny. That’s like saying, “You know, Luke Skywalker wasn’t a real person, right? He was an actor and there were cameras around him on something called a set.” Yes, it’s obvious. No matter. It was a crazy experience to be a part of.

First thing to remember about the Triumph skit is, Robert Smigel and his crew were at the theater shooting over the course of two days. This wasn’t some kind of spontaneous thing. Not everything in the skit happened in the few hours leading up to the premiere. They shot a lot of footage over those two days. “We always write some jokes in advance, then show up and use a bunch and improvise some as well,” he said.

Another thing that’s lost on some people is that everyone there was in on it. After all, we were nerds camping on a sidewalk to see a Star Wars movie. We were very much aware of who Conan O’Brien was, and what Triumph was all about. Everyone there was a fan and if you watch the video, people are hunched over laughing in the background in basically every shot. We were glad to let him mock us. In fact, we helped.

“The Star Wars remote was probably the most fun I’ve ever had doing Triumph,” Smigel said. “Yes, the people on line were suitably nerdy, and, as a consequence, there was a happy overlap with fans of late night comedy and Conan in particular. So they were great sports, and, for the first time, we actually had people crowding around Triumph hoping to get called on.”

That Time When Triumph The Insult Comic Dog Mocked Me For Loving Star Wars

Case in point, the producers said they needed a few people to sit down and play Star Wars themed board games. I jumped at the chance and sat down opposite someone I didn’t know. In front of me was a Stratego board, a game I’d never played, and still haven’t. I let them know I hadn’t played the game before, but they said it didn’t matter. Just fake it, move the pieces. So I did.

“We never try and manipulate reality,” Smigel insisted. “If someone was asked to play a game, I imagine it was a game they already had on hand and would’ve played at some point in the day.”

You see some of that at 1:04 in the video (as well as the still above). That’s me in the black striped Adidas pants, terribly pretending to play Stratego. Triumph actually did come up and make fun of me, but the footage didn’t make the final cut. However, a few of the jokes he used on me were recycled with other people and did make the final cut. The one that stands out is “Which ever one of you wins is the uber dork.”

You next see me at 3:38, in probably one of the most iconic scenes in the skit. Triumph asks a pregnant fan about her baby. He then says when the baby is born, it’ll be the last time he sees female genitalia. I’m sitting right beside her (again, a still is above) and I remember laughing so hard, I cried. You can also notice, she’s in the Risk seat but is obviously not playing Risk.

That Time When Triumph The Insult Comic Dog Mocked Me For Loving Star Wars

But maybe the craziest thing that happened while I was there was when they asked a bunch of people to line up to do some trivia questions. (Seen about 9 minutes into the video). A bunch of people ran up to do it, and I didn’t get there in time. So I watched from the sidelines.

In the middle of the crowd was a young man who looked exactly like Jude Law. Meaning, he looked like he would be more comfortable on a runway than a Star Wars line. But he’d been there for several days and was a huge fan. (He may have even flown in from Australia, if memory serves.) Anyway, the producers looked at him and asked him to get out of the shot. When he asked why, they were incredibly honest. “You’re too good-looking,” they said. And that’s when it hit me how specific the vision for this whole skit really was.

To be fair, I’d be remiss if I didn’t say that some things in the skit that seem staged absolutely were not. I wasn’t there for the wedding, or the Gandalf cosplayer—but the live reenactment of the movie? That happened organically. I remember thinking it was pretty cool in the moment but, in retrospect, it was not. Actually, I find it hard to watch now, it’s so embarrassing.

But I’m not embarrassed about the experience as a whole. At the time, it was a bit weird to see myself on TV and on the Internet. I loved Star Wars, but I’d never put myself out there like this. Now though, I’m so glad I did it. I don’t have a ton of memories from actually watching that movie, but I have fond memories of lining up, thanks in large part to Triumph’s nerd evisceration.

I can’t speak for Blackwolf the Dragon Master or some of the other stars of the video, but as someone who was literally on the periphery of the whole experience, I’m incredibly glad that Triumph decided to make fun of us. It immortalized a moment in my life.

Here are some outtakes you may not have seen before.


Contact the author at germain@io9.com.

C-SPAN Caller Asks If He Can Shit In Rep. Dave Brat's Mouth

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It is so wonderful to see civilians getting involved in the political process.

On Thursday’s edition of C-SPAN’s Washington Journal, host John McArdle interviewed Rep. Dave Brat (R-Va.) about a year-end spending bill in the state. (Brat is best known for defeating House Majority Leader Eric Cantor in 2014).

A Democrat from Utah named “Glen” called in with two questions for the congressman:

“My question is, we’re spending all this money, where are we getting the money from? And my second question is if I can shit in your mouth?”

McArdle apologized to Brat, noting that “We don’t take that kind of language here on the Washington Journal.” Sadly, neither of the caller’s questions was answered.


Contact the author at joanna@jezebel.com.


More than a dozen companies pay each of their corporate board members more than $500K annually for m

500 Days of Kristin, Day 327: Hats Now

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500 Days of Kristin, Day 327: Hats Now

Kristin Cavallari’s jewelry line Emerald Duv, pronounced “??”, is awash with new developments lately. Yesterday, the brand announced it was setting something on fire. Today, Kristin herself declared that Emerald Duv is selling hats now.

The black hat Kristin is modeling in the photo above costs $150. According to Emerald Duv’s website, it has “leather accents.” Perhaps that white string is the leather part.


This has been 500 Days of Kristin.

[Photo via Getty]

Martin Shkreli Was Bad at Investing and Worse at Stealing Money to Cover it Up, Say Authorities

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Martin Shkreli Was Bad at Investing and Worse at Stealing Money to Cover it Up, Say Authorities

The federal indictment against Martin Shkreli suggests a lot of things about the reviled 32-year-old CEO. Chief among them: He was great at convincing people to give him money, but not very good at investing it. And when it came time to pay people back, he repeatedly plundered his company to cover the losses.

Shkreli was arrested in his midtown Manhattan home early Thursday morning and perp walked before a crowd of photographers in a cozy-looking hoodie on his way to jail. Also arrested was Evan L. Greebel, a corporate attorney who served as outside counsel to Retrophil, one of the companies at the heart of the alleged fraud.

http://gawker.com/heres-your-mar...

According to prosecutors, Shkreli tried his hand at investing several times over, all to disastrous results.

Between 2006 and 2007, authorities say, Shkreli had lost all the money that had been invested in his first hedge fund, Elea Capital Management, resulting a $2.3 million dollar default judgement to Lehman Brothers.

That information was omitted from investor pitches when Shkreli started his second hedge fund, MSMB Capital, in 2009. In emails, the US Attorneys Office alleges, Shkreli told potential investors the fund was liquid and monitored by independent CPAs. Neither of these assertions were true.

In the meantime, he kept raising money, telling a potential investor in November 2010 that the fund had assets worth $35 million.

“In fact,” the indictment alleges, “the value of assets in MSMB Capital’s bank and brokerage accounts totaled approximately $700.”

By February of 2011, the fund—which at its peak held about $3 million—had been depleted. Most of the money was lost in a February 2011 short sale of Orexigen Therapeutics (OREX). Shkreli, who failed to obtain enough shares to support the sale, lost around $7 million. Over the course of the fund’s lifetime, Shkreli also withdrew about $200,000, which he apparently used for personal expenditures.

Despite sending out regular updates declaring gains, the depleted MSMB Capital fund never traded again.

Martin Shkreli Was Bad at Investing and Worse at Stealing Money to Cover it Up, Say Authorities

In the meantime, Shkreli began soliciting investors for a second fund, MSMB Healthcare. He managed to raise as much as $6 million, though he told potential investors the fund had $55 million in assets. That fund too, ended badly, in part because Shkreli allegedly used the money to pay off the debts he’d racked up with the first fund.

That’s where Shkreli’s pharmaceutical company, Retrophin, came in, authorities say. Through a series of backdated agreements, he converted a $900,000 equity investment MSMB had made in Retrophin into a loan, which he forced Retrophin to repay. Authorities say he used that money to pay off the debt he racked up with his disastrous OREX short sale.

But he still owed more money to the MSMB Capital and MSMB Healthcare investors. According to prosecutors, Shkreli made a series of fake investments into Retrophin to cover the losses, recording them on Retrophin’s capitalization table even though MSMB had never invested money in the company. These fradulent documents were signed off on by Greebel, who served as outside counsel to Retrophin.

After a November, 2012 inquiry from the SEC, Shkreli and Greebel decided to bolster the fake investments with backdated transfers with the help of three employees referred to in the indictment as “Co-Conspirator 1,” “Corrupt Employee 1,” and “Corrupt Employee 2”.

Emails sent during this period appear to support the government’s theory. In one email, the indictment alleges, Shkreli advised an employee that an agreement signed in November had actually been “signed in June.” The employee initially sent back a clearly redacted copy that had June written by hand over the redacted date. The indictment notes an accountant copied on the email read it and “exclaimed, ‘WT...F.’” The final copy of the agreement had a new cover page with the June date typed and no redactions.

Martin Shkreli Was Bad at Investing and Worse at Stealing Money to Cover it Up, Say Authorities

When an external auditor found out what was going on, Shkreli and Greebel decided to pretend to make it right by promising MSMB would pay the money back. “The current thinking is let rtrx [Retrophin] pay, get a note from the fund and if the fund cant fulfill the note rtrx will write it off as bad debt,” Greebel advised in an email to Shkreli. “[On] current thinking: that works for me,” Shrekli responded.

But there were still investors waiting to be paid. In one case, Shkreli suggested using Retrophin’s money and disguising the $100,000 payments as a settlement. In emails, Greebel advised Shkreli that would attract undue attention from auditors and suggested Shkreli instead list the investors as consultants on Retrophin’s payroll. “Why does it need to be a consulting agreement??! Have you heard of the term settlement?” Shkreli wrote Greebel. “We can call it a settlement agreement, but given [the auditor’s] recent behavior, they may require it to be disclosed in the financials. I was trying to prevent that issue,” Greebel wrote back.

In all, the government says, Retrophin paid out at least $7.6 million in claims and compensation the company was never responsible for.

Retrophin filed a civil suit against Shkreli in August alleging many of the same clains and according to Newsweek, he’s known he was the subject of a criminal investigation since at least January. And that was all before he purchased a lifesaving drug for AIDS patients and jacked up the price by 4,000 percent. What a surprise this guy turned out to be an asshole.

You can read the entire indictment here:

http://documents.gawker.com/the-full-text-...


Contact the author at gabrielle@gawker.com.

Selected Star Wars Toys of Mine, Ranked

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Selected Star Wars Toys of Mine, Ranked

I saw Star Wars in the movie theater in 1977, the summer before I turned six. Then I saw it again, and again, and again. Pace Joseph Campbell, the mythology of my childhood was structured around the movie, rather than vice versa. So my parents’ attic ended up with a lot of Star Wars toys in it.

12. Hoth rebel base

The big gun was OK, but in the absence of any AT-ATs, there wasn’t much to do besides flip a switch to knock down the ice bridge.

11. Imperial guard

I didn’t ever consciously decide that I was getting too old for action figures when Return of the Jedi came out. And I did get the red-robed imperial guard. But I never bothered buying an Ewok.

10. TIE fighter pilot

Kenner didn’t put out a TIE pilot figure till it was almost time for Return of the Jedi, so long before that I just took one of the stormtroopers and colored all over it with a black permanent marker. You can’t not have a TIE fighter pilot.

9. Bossk

Bossk definitely belonged to my brother. I liked him because he had a fantastic blaster shaped like a sawed-off shotgun. More importantly, till Return of the Jedi came out, nobody knew what Jabba the Hutt even looked like, so Bossk filled the part. I still think he’s a better space gangster than the giant slug was.

8. Landspeeder

This was the first Star Wars vehicle anybody brought to school in first grade and also the first one I had. The wheels on the undercarriage demanded a little too much suspension of disbelief, but the super-bouncy floating suspension mostly made up for that.

7. Slave I

The Millennium Falcon was outside our price range, so Boba Fett’s Slave I was the most imposing ship in our armada. Its cargo capacity was unbelievable; we could jam it full of action figures indefinitely. My kid was playing with the swinging pilot seat and dislodged a Jawa that had been hidden up there for 30 years.

6. Snowspeeder

The guns had clear tubes in them that lit up, and the rear-facing second seat was exactly right.

5. Han Solo blaster

I was blond and younger so I was always Luke to my brother’s Han, but somehow I was the one who ended up with the blaster. Obviously Greedo never got the chance to shoot first.

4. Jawa

Tiny action figures were the greatest action figures.

3. Boba Fett

In a routine elementary-school gift swap before The Empire Strikes Back, I reached in the grab bag and came away with Boba Fett. At the time, he was a mail-away figure. It was like finding the golden ticket in a Wonka Whipple-Scrumptious Fudgemallow Delight. I still don’t know how it ever got in there.

2. X-wing fighter

I was born the day after Labor Day, so my birthday always floated around the first day of school. I have a bitter and vivid memory, so clear it might be fabricated, of sitting in the back row of second grade in a new school, thinking miserably about my new X-wing sitting at home not being played with.

1. TIE fighter

I would not have thought the TIE fighter was the greatest Star Wars toy I had ever known, but when I dug one out of the attic and opened those little doors on top, it hit with unimaginable Proustian power, and 35 years disappeared instantly.

Selected Star Wars Toys of Mine, Ranked

Contact the author at scocca@gawker.com


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This "Hamilton" Shit Has Really Gone Too Far

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This "Hamilton" Shit Has Really Gone Too Far

Yeah I saw it and it was a good musical and all that but come on.

The Case for Hamilton as Album of the Year

Come on.

You can find this Hamiltonian idea of hip-hop refracted through rap’s other great works this year. You hear it in the verbosity, the craft, the daringness, the desperate idealism, and the death-obsessed drive of Kendrick Lamar’s To Pimp a Butterfly. You hear Hamilton’s obsession with legacy, his unwillingness to back down when challenged, his profligacy—“why do you write as if you’re running out of time?”—in Drake’s multi-mixtape 2015 output.

Come on.

Listening to a rapper like Future, you feel like he’s transmitting directly from his brain. Listening to Hamilton, you hear writing. You hear work. Miranda said he spent a full year working on “My Shot,” and I believe it; it probably took a month alone to figure out the right phrase to rhyme with “revolutionary manumission abolitionists.” And work, according to a common cultural attitude, is not cool.

Give it a rest.

Can we not do this any more.

Everyone start talking about something else now. Dogs. Whatever.

[Photo: AP]

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