A popular surround sound system, filter-free Dyson vacuums, and a discounted AV receiver kick off Friday’s best deals.

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Top Deals

$290-$300 is a lot to spend on a vacuum cleaner, but the Dyson Cinetic has an ace up its sleeve:

The Dyson Cinetic big ball vacuum is the first upright vacuum with Dyson Cinetic science. It’s our biggest technological breakthrough since DC01: it has been engineered to solve the problem of cyclones clogging and losing suction. Inside, 35 Dyson Cinetic tips oscillate 5,000 times every second. They generate high centrifugal forces to separate the microscopic dust that clogs other vacuums. Because Dyson Cinetic science is so efficient, the Dyson Cinetic big ball vacuum doesn’t need to rely on filters to trap dust as other vacuums do, so there is no pre-motor filter. This means there are no dirty filters to wash or replace, and it never loses suction.

This model normally sells for $550+ new, but but you can get a refurb for $290 (Animal) or $300 (Animal + Allergies) as part of a Gold Box deal, today only.

http://gizmodo.com/dyson-finally-...

http://co-op.kinja.com/five-best-vacu...

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01...

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01...

http://gear.kinja.com/the-dyson-abso...

The last month has seen a couple of great wiper blade promotions, but if you haven’t liked the the brands Amazon’s promoted so far, how’s two Valeo frameless blades for $22 sound? This deal applies to every Valeo Ultimate 900-series blade that Amazon sells, some of which go for over $20 by themselves.

All you have to do is add any two blades to your cart (shipped and sold by Amazon), and the total price will be knocked down to $22 at checkout automatically. I can only speak from my own experience, but these are the best blades I’ve ever used, and well worth the money.

If you need a new home theater receiver to keep up with the times, this $300 Yamaha includes 7.2 surround sound, 4K passthrough, HDCP 2.2, and even Bluetooth and Wi-Fi audio streaming. It is a refurb, but that’s a fantastic price for the features you’re getting.

http://www.amazon.com/Yamaha-TSR-579...

Update: Sold out

The Moto X Pure “does Android better than Google,” and Amazon will sell you a 32GB model today for just $350 unlocked, the best price we’ve ever seen.

http://reviews.gizmodo.com/moto-x-pure-ed...

h/t Doron

The new DJI Phantom 4 sure looks impressive, but for almost $800 less, you can pick up the still-completely-amazing Phantom 3 Advanced today. You’ll lose out on features like the (finicky) accident avoidance and 4K video, but the camera still boasts an impressive 2.7K resolution, it can hold its position indoors thanks to a downard-facing sensor array. At $629, it probably won’t even eat up your entire tax refund.

http://gizmodo.com/dji-phantom-3-...

This week only, Green Man Gaming is taking an extra 25% off their “Games To Watch,” including preorders for Mirror’s Edge Catalyst, Homefront: The Revolution, and more. Head over to this page to see all of the games, and use either code KINJA25 or WATCH25 at checkout.

If you own a GoPro, or any other action cam that’s compatible with GoPro accessories, you can own every accessory you see in the image above for just $20. That’s just $.35 per piece, including critical gear like straps, a floating bobber, and a suction cup mount.

http://co-op.kinja.com/your-favorite-...

http://www.amazon.com/Erligpowht-Bas...

The supermassive version of our favorite surround sound system is down to its lowest price today on Amazon.

If you aren’t familiar, this VIZIO system offers true 5.1 surround sound by way of a wireless subwoofer and a pair of satellite speakers, all without the aid of of a receiver, and without the need to run any cables from your TV to the back of the room. I own a smaller version of the same setup, and absolutely love it.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00GSJROBA/...

Don’t care about the rear channels? This 2.1 system is down to $148 for Prime members only. You’ll see the $10 discount at checkout.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00SMBG8QY/...

If you don’t have the cash for your favorite Audio-Technica ATH-M50x headphones, you can pick up a pair of smaller (but still excellent) ATH-M30x cans today for just $49 on Amazon.

http://co-op.kinja.com/the-best-headp...

http://deals.kinja.com/buy-your-favor...

Whether you enjoy camping, worry about power outages, or just like the idea of being off the grid, this $39 Aukey solar charger can juice up two phones at the same time. This is one of the best wattage-to-dollar deals on these things we’ve ever seen, so if you spend a lot of time outdoors, I wouldn’t hesitate.

http://www.amazon.com/Charger-AiPowe...

If you want to experience Google Cardboard VR without strapping a shipping box to your face, this plastic headset is a slightly upscale alternative for most Android handsets and iPhones, and it can be yours for just $17.

The major caveat here is that it lacks a button to interact with the phone while it’s inside, but for watching 360 videos or looking around 3D scenes, it should be just fine.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01B5H685W?...

Anker’s kevlar-wrapped PowerLine cables have been an immediate hit with our readers, and you can upgrade your entire microUSB cable collection today with this $11 5-pack. We’ve occasionally seen this set cheaper, but if you’re in the market, it’s a solid deal.

http://bestsellers.kinja.com/bestsellers-an...

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B015XPQ5KK/...

If you still haven’t picked up a pair of Audio-Technica’s coveted Audio-ATH-M50x headphones, you can score a pair on eBay today for $130, along with a Fiio A3 amplifier. $130 would be a pretty typical price for the headphones alone, and the amp is selling for $60 right now on Amazon, so I’d say this is one of the best ATH-M50x deals we’ve seen.

http://co-op.kinja.com/the-best-headp...

While the Logitech Harmony Touch doesn’t have as many physical buttons as its brethren, its integrated touchscreen can perform all of the same functions as you control up to 15 of your favorite devices.

If your PlayStation Plus subscription is getting close to its expiration date, or (gasp) you just don’t have it, you can grab a 12 month membership today for $40, or $10 less than usual.

Well here’s a unique PS4 bundle for you: $500 gets you a PS4 Call of Duty bundle and a 43" Sharp TV with built-in Roku software. You’re basically paying $150 for the TV, but Best Buy sells it separately for $320, so if you happen to be in the market for a TV that size, it’s a fantastic discount.

And in case you missed it yesterday, you can still get a PS4 Call of Duty bundle with a wired headset and a year of PlayStation Plus for $370.

Some days, you just need to make a mug of coffee and get going. Others, you need a full pot. Luckily, this $48 Hamilton Beach can do both. This once went as low as $40 on Amazon, but that brief deal aside, $48 is a great price.

If you have a closet with at least one 4'-8' wall, this Rubbermaid custom shelving kit will add a ton of extra storage space. The configuration is totally up to you, so you can add more shelves, hanging rods, or any combination thereof. Today’s $84 deal on Amazon is within a few bucks of an all-time low, so be sure to lock in your order before it sells out.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00123800Q/...

If you scurry over to eBay, you can save $310 on the base model (256GB/8GB) Apple MacBook, with no sales tax for most. That’s the best deal we’ve seen on the world’s most drool-worthy laptop.

http://gizmodo.com/new-macbook-re...

Vega plant-based supplements are some of the best things you can put in your body, and Amazon’s taking an extra $5 off their protein powders, bars, and more today.

http://gear.kinja.com/vega-a-better-...

The $5 coupon is valid on ten different Vega items, and will stack with any existing discounts you see on the product pages. Just add your selections to your cart, and you’ll see the final price at checkout.

Vega has a great calorie-to-protein ratio, but the best thing about their shakes is that they aren’t just about protein. Vega’s shakes typically contain six grams of fiber, 3 servings of vegetables, and good amounts of Omega-3, probiotics, vitamins, and illusive potassium. It’s like a protein shake, a multivitamin, and a bunch of bonuses all in one convenient package.

If you’ve been meaning to upgrade to 4K, this 50" Samsung can be yours today for just $639, along with a $30 VUDU credit and a three-month subscription to Rhapsody. Even without the bonuses, that’s about $135 cheaper than Amazon.

Note: You won’t see the final price until checkout.

Uniqlo just kicked off their “Arigato” sale, with solid discounts on a variety of already-affordable clothing staples. For starters, you can pick up jeans for $30, sweaters for $15, or two polo shirts for $30, but be sure to head over to Uniqlo to see all of the available promotions.

Unfortunately, Uniqlo isn’t running a free shipping promotion at the moment, so you’ll need to buy $100 in merchandise to qualify for free shipping. Otherwise, it’s reasonably priced, or you can pick it up at your local store for free.

http://gear.kinja.com/keep-cool-and-...

http://gear.kinja.com/disrupt-winter...

$100 is a very solid price for any top of the line electric toothbrush, and Oral-B’s Pro 7000 SmartSeries add Bluetooth to the mix, just for kicks.

http://co-op.kinja.com/the-best-elect...

In addition to six different cleaning modes (including one for your tongue), a travel kit, a pressure sensor, and a timer, the Pro 7000 also syncs to an iOS or Android app that tracks your brushing habits and offers personalized feedback.

I know a lot of people are reflexively against the Bluetoothification of everyday household items, and that’s fine. What I’m saying is that even if you never download that app, this is still a fantastic toothbrush at $100. Just be sure to clip the $20 coupon on the page to get the full discount.

If you don’t own a pressure cooker, today’s a great day to fix that. Amazon’s knocked the highly-rated Instant Pot IP-DUO50 all the way down to low $93, the best price Amazon’s ever listed.

http://lifehacker.com/5954077/why-yo...

If you’re worried that you won’t get a ton of use out of this thing, note that in addition to standard pressure cooking, you can also use the Instant Pot as a slow cooker, rice cooker, yogurt maker, steamer, and more.

http://www.amazon.com/Instant-Pot-IP...

To put it simply, Apple Watch strap pricing is the most egregious example of the “Apple Tax” I’ve ever seen. Case in point, these knock-off Milanese loop straps will only cost you $16, compared to $150-$200 for Apple’s versions. They’re not a perfect replica, but judging by the review average, they’re damn close.

Note: $16 price is only available on the black and silver models, in both 42 and 38mm sizes.

http://www.amazon.com/Marge-Plus-Mag...

Tech

Power

• KMASHI 20000mah External Battery | $23 | Amazon | Use Code 7Z8TFHVT
• Kmashi 18W Quick Charge 2.0 USB Smart Car Charger | $4 | Amazon | Use code P56JT7IK
• Suaoki 50W 10A 6 Port USB Desktop Charger with Reversible Plugs | $10 | Amazon
• Hausbell UL Certified 25W 4-Port USB Wall Charger with Foldable Plug | $10 | Amazon | Use code 6YTMJLAF
• Tronsmart 3 Pack Micro USB Cable - 6 Feet | $6 | Amazon | Use code 3USBCORD
• AVANTEK 4 Port SuperSpeed USB 3.0 Hub with 12 V / 3 A Power Adapter | $13 | Amazon | Use Code I2GO2AH3
• APC Back-UPS 700VA UPS Black BN700MC | $60 | Best Buy

Audio

• Harman Kardon - One Portable Bluetooth Speaker | $80 | eBay
• Mpow AquaPro Portable Wireless Bluetooth Speaker | $24 | Amazon | Use code INLBMDJ6
  
• Beats Solo2 Wired On-Ear Headphones | $90 | Amazon
• yurbuds by JBL Signature Series ITX-1000 | $11 | eBay
• Mpow Swift 2nd-Gen Bluetooth 4.0 Wireless Sports Headphones | $18 | Amazon | Use Code T4ZQ3NNN
• Harman Kardon IE NC -Active, Noise-cancelling, In-ear Headphones with Microphone | $30 | Newegg
• KMASHI Outdoor Waterproof Bluetooth Speakers with Power Bank Flashlight | $18 | Amazon | Use code KMASHIK1

Home Theater

• Sony 65-Inch LED - 1080p - Smart - 3D - HDTV | $900 | Best Buy
• Samsung 40-Inch LED - 2160p - Smart - 4K Ultra HD TV | $580 | Best Buy
• Sceptre U505CV-U 49" 4K Ultra HD 2160p 60Hz LED HDTV | $300 | Walmart
• Insignia - 32-Inch - LED - 1080p - Smart - HDTV Roku TV - Black | $180 | eBay
• Refurb Amazon Fire TV + HD Antenna Bundle | $95 | Amazon
• Refurb Samsung 2.1CH Bluetooth Soundbar w/Wireless Sub | $135 | Woot
  
• Logitech - Harmony Touch 15-Device Universal Remote | $100 | eBay

Computers & Accessories

• Apple MacBook Air (Latest Model) w/ 13.3" Display, Intel Core i5, 4GB Memory, 128GB SSD | $800 | Best Buy
• Refurb AOC 16" USB-Powered Portable LED Monitor | $80 | Woot
• Refurb Acer Display 23" Full HD Monitor (1920 x 1080) | $70 | eBay

PC Parts

• EVGA GeForce GTX 980 FTW GAMING ACX 2.0 | $380 | Evga
• 2-Pack of Kingston SSDNow V300 Series 2.5" 120GB SATA III Internal SSDs | $84 | Newegg

Mobile Devices

• LG G4 Unlocked - Black Leather 32GB (U.S. Warranty) | $299 | Amazon
• Logitech Ultrathin Keyboard Cover for iPad Mini 3 Mini 2 & Mini 1 | $17 | eBay
  

Photography

• Sekonic Corporation 401-479 LITEMASTER PRO L-478DR Photographic Light Meter W/Case | $326 | Amazon

Home

• Hook & Loop Cable Management Tape, 5 yards | $5 | Amazon
• Home Depot has Solar Panels and Solar Accessories On Sale Today
• ClosetMaid 421 Cubeicals 9-Cube Organizer | $39 | Amazon

Kitchen

• Rubbermaid Easy Find Lids 24-Piece Plus 4 Food Storage Set | $11 | Walmart
• Breville Hemisphere Mini 54-Oz. Blender | $80 | Best Buy
  
• Norpro Pasta Drying Rack | $9 | Amazon

Tools & Auto

• Spigen USB Type C Car Charger w/ USB Port | $6 | Amazon | Use Code QE7XOTNH
• Turtle Wax 5-Piece Complete Care Kit | $6 | Walmart
• Kenwood - CD - Built-In Bluetooth - Apple iPod-Ready - In-Dash Receiver | $60 | eBay
• Ames 4 cu. ft. Poly Lawn Cart | $20 | Home Depot
• Craftsman 500-Piece Mechanics Tool Set | $565 | Sears | Use code SEARS35OFF300

Lifestyle

Apparel

• Natural Auto Air Purifying Bags, Air Freshener and Shoe Deodorizer, Removes Odors | $6 | Amazon | Use code 2YNXFKY4
• $50 Charles Tyrwhitt Gift Card | $25 | Groupon
• Nike Downshifter 6 Synthetic Sneakers | $30 | eBay

Beauty & Grooming

• 1Easylife Stainless Steel Shower Curtain Rings Hooks, Set of 12 | $7 | amazon | Use code YYXS7LWB
• ACEVIVI 10 Pcs Natural Makeup Cosmetics Brush Set with Synthetic Leather Case Black | $10 | Amazon | Use code CRQTYZ35

Camping & Outdoors

• Black Diamond Icon Polar Headlamp | $45 | REI
• Coleman Self-Inflating Camp Pad with Attached Pillow | $33 | Amazon
• BYB Super Bright Portable COB LED Camping Lantern | $9 | Amazon | Use code 5TMHI8BQ

Fitness

• BalanceFrom High Accuracy Digital Bathroom Scale | $20 | Amazon
• Etekcity Modern Digital Body Weight Bathroom Scale | $17 | Amazon | Use code K4JDXVB4

Media

Movies & TV

• Braveheart | $5 | Amazon
• Highlander: Director’s Cut | $5 | Amazon
• Reservoir Dogs (15th Anniversary Edition) | $5 | Amazon
• ESPN 30 for 30 Collector’s Set | $15 | Amazon
• Seven | $5 | Amazon
• Full Metal Jacket | $5 | Amazon
• The Shawshank Redemption | $5 | Amazon
• 3:10 To Yuma | $5 | Amazon
• Gangs Of New York | $5 | Amazon
• Lara Croft: Tomb Raider / Lara Croft: Tomb Raider - The Cradle of Life (Double Feature) | $8 | Amazon
• Face off/Snake Eyes | $8 | Amazon
• Shooter / Four Brothers | $8 | Amazon
• Ghost in the Shell: 25th Anniversary Edition | $10 | Amazon
• Rail Wars | $33 | Amazon
• Mega Man Complete TV Series [DVD] | $18 | Amazon

Books

• Black Man in a White Coat Audiobook | $3 | Audible
• Bird Box: A Novel [Kindle] | $2 | Amazon
• Secret Daughter: A Novel [Kindle] | $2 | Amazon

Apps

• FREE Downhill Supreme | iOS | Normally $1
• MoneyWiz 2 | $1 | iOS | Normally $5
• Doom & Destiny Advanced | $1 | Android | Normally $3

Gaming

• $1.50 Off a Game Rental at Redbox | Use code XCVTYPLG
• Gunnar Optiks INT-06701 Intercept Full Rim Advanced Video Gaming Glasses | $43 | Amazon

PC

• DiRT Rally | $45 | Steam
• Dying Light: The Following - Enhanced Edition | $40 | Steam
• Endless Legend | $10 | Steam
• Axes and Acres | $9 | Steam
• Space Engineers | $7 | Steam

PlayStation 4

• Call of Duty: Black Ops III | $28 | Amazon
• Megadimension Neptunia VII | $36 | Amazon
• The Witch and the Hundred Knight: Revival Edition | $30 | Amazon
• Digimon Story: Cyber Sleuth | $35 | Amazon
• FREE Star Wars Classics | Newegg | Promo code EMCETEM56 and $20 mail-in rebate

Xbox One

• Murdered: Soul Suspect | $7 | Microsoft
  
• Mad Max | $25 | Amazon
• Xbox One 1TB 5-Game Bundle | $360 | eBay
• Xbox One Quantum Break White Bundle | $299 | Amazon

Vita

• Corpse Party: Blood Drive - Everafter Edition - PlayStation Vita | $26 | Amazon

Board Games

• Quantum Mechanix Firefly Playing Cards | $9 | Amazon

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On Thursday, Hillary Clinton delivered a fundraising speech at the private residence of Colorado’s governor, John Hickenlooper, in Denver’s Park Hill neighborhood. The venue, a tent pitched on Hickenlooper’s lawn, was positioned close to the nearest street, which would have (theoretically) enabled non-guests to listen in on Clinton’s remarks. According to an on-scene reporter, however, the Democratic frontrunner’s campaign used a “static noise machine”—i.e., a larger speaker blasting static interference—to prevent such eavesdropping:

The above tweets don’t actually depict the static noise machine, and while there does appear to be some kind of noise playing in the attached videos, it’s hard to tell from the audio how much of it is normal street noise. That said, it’s not unheard of for Clinton’s campaign staff to interfere with reporting. As Chuck Ross of The Daily Caller noted, “The Clinton campaign frequently uses noise in another way to prevent reporters from overhearing the candidate’s remarks. Often, while Clinton is shaking hands with voters at campaign events, staff will crank up music to prevent reporters from recording their conversations.”

As far as we can tell, the Clinton campaign has not denied—or even addressed—its alleged use of a static noise machine. The candidate’s press shop did not respond to requests for comment from at least three other outlets, including our sister site Gizmodo. Nor was it immediately available to respond to Gawker’s own questions. Governor Hickenlooper did not immediately respond to our inquiries, either.

In the meantime, feel free to discuss what you think Clinton might be hiding. Maybe it was something about this?

Reporters could hear a band playing, according to CBS Denver’s Stan Bush, but the sound-camouflaging noise engulfed their ears before Hillary began talking. The band was later identified as Big Head Todd and the Monsters.

If you have any other theories, get in touch.

After The Chicago Tribune reported on the millions of dollars in hush money former Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert paid out several days ago, a new filing by federal prosecutors alleges that Hastert in fact sexually abused five minors during his time as a wrestling coach at Yorkville High School. One of the victims was 14 years old at the time of abuse.

http://gawker.com/report-former-...

The memorandum also confirms that Hastert, who was second in the line of succession to the presidency for eight years, paid $3.5 million in cash as part of an agreement “to compensate Individual A for sexual abuse of Individual A committed by defendant when Individual A was 14 years old and defendant was his wrestling coach.”

From the filing:

The federal and state statutes of limitations have long expired on potential charges relating to defendant’s known sexual acts against Individual A and other minors. These known acts consist of the defendant’s intentional touching of minors’ groin area and genitals or oral sex with a minor.

With this case, the government seeks to hold defendant accountable for the crimes he committed that can still be prosecuted: defendant’s structuring of cash withdrawals and his lies to the government about that activity. But those crimes, while recent, have their origin in the defendant’s past. The actions at the core of this case took place not on the defendant’s national public stage but in his private one-on-one encounters in an empty locker room and a motel room with minors that violated the special trust between those young boys and their coach.

Because the statute of limitations has expired, Hastert is only being charged for banking fraud, which he pled guilty to back in October. Hastert could face anywhere from zero to six months in prison for the charges, which the new filing notes as “the appropriate range.” In other words, prosecutors may very well not demand any prison time for Hastert at all.

Authorities initially became involved after Hastert refused to offer a reasonable explanation for the large sums of money he’d been withdrawing from the bank. When the bank first noticed the withdrawals, Hastert was instructed to contact a risk management officer. The former Speaker tried to explain away his suspicious activity by saying that he wanted the cash for stocks and investments. Except that, according to the risk management officer, “[Hastert’s] explanations did not make sense, i.e., one cannot buy stocks with cash, and the risks associated with possessing large amounts of currency far outweigh the risks of a bank failure.”

When Hastert refused to elaborate, the risk management officer tried to tell him that the bank needed to fully understand his activity in order to comply with the Bank Secrecy Act and the PATRIOT Act. At which point Hastert explained that “the PATRIOT Act was just for terrorism and he was not a terrorist.”

The memo spends several pages cataloguing Hastert’s violation of banking laws before detailing his horrifying encounters with minors in the 1970s:

Individual A wrestled all four years in high school with defendant as his coach. At one point, defendant told Individual A that he could attend a wrestling camp with the team. There were between 10 and 14 boys on the trip, and defendant was the only adult. The team stayed two nights in a motel on the return trip. The defendant told Individual A he would stay in defendant’s room while the other boys stayed in another room. Individual A did not know why defendant singled him out.

When it was time for bed, Individual A went to defendant’s motel room.Earlier in the trip, Individual A had complained about a groin pull. While in the motel room, defendant asked about Individual A’s injury and said he wanted to check on it. Defendant told Individual A to lie down on the bed and take off his underwear.Defendant then began massaging Individual A’s groin area. It became clear toIndividual A that defendant was not touching him in a therapeutic manner to address a wrestling injury but was touching him in an inappropriate sexual way. A few moments later, Individual A jumped off the bed, grabbed his underwear, and ran across the room to slouch in a chair. Individual A was confused and embarrassed about his physical reaction to defendant’s contact with him, and he apologized to defendant.

The other incidents describe similar scenarios, though in Individual B’s case, Hastert goes one step further:

Individual B was a wrestler at Yorkville High School for defendant. One dayduring his freshman year, when Individual B was 14 years old, Individual B wasalone in the locker room with defendant after Individual B had worked out. Eitherjust after Individual B showered or while Individual B changed by his locker,defendant told Individual B to get on a table so defendant could “loosen him up.”Individual B lay on the table face-down and defendant started massaging him.Defendant had Individual B turn over so Individual B was lying face-up on the table.Defendant then performed a sexual act on Individual B.

Hastert is scheduled to be sentenced on April 27. You can read the federal prosecutors’ memorandum in full below.

The first step to fixing a problem is to simply acknowledge its existence.

For Republican presidential frontrunner Donald Trump, a man who regularly refuses acknowledge the existence of women’s rights, the humanity of immigrants, and the basic human rights of people of color, acknowledging that there is a problem is hard. But lucky for Trump, his former-nemesis-turned-errand-boy Ben Carson will do it for him.

During a radio interview with Florida host Joyce Kaufman this week, Carson discussed Trump’s shrimp-fingered addiction to Twitter, after Kaufman lamented about it, saying, “I hope that somebody closes that Twitter account, really.” Said Carson:

“Well, I think he will come to understand. We talk about it, and a number of people have talked about it, including his family. And he knows that it’s a problem. And the first part of solving the problem is recognizing that it exists.”

While the word “problem” is perhaps not large enough to encompass the enormity of garbage that is Trump’s Twitter account, it’s a good thing that at least someone in Camp Trump gets it.

Meanwhile, Carson has been sending out his own grammatically dubious tweets, likely passing the time between interviews with Fox News, during which he must blindly praise a man who once compared him to a child molester.

Mosquitoes love to breed inside discarded car tires. So why not use this against them? Such is the thinking of Canadian researchers who have developed a DIY mosquito trap that’s already proving its worth in field tests.

The trap is called Ovillanta, and it was developed by researchers from Laurentian University with help from Mexico’s National Institute of Public Health (plus a little money from the Canadian government).

The egg trap is constructed from two 20-inch (50 cm) sections of discarded rubber car tires. The bits of tire are fashioned into a mouth-like shape, and a fluid release is added to the bottom.Once it’s ready and hung on a wall or tree, a non-toxic solution is added. A chemical pheromone is added to attract the mosquitoes. A wooden strip or paper floats in the artificial pond, where the female lays her eggs.

Twice a week, the strip is removed so that it can be analyzed, and the eggs that have been collected are destroyed using fire or ethanol. The solution is recycled back into the tire, but over time it collects even more mosquito pheromones, making it even more irresistible. From a mosquito’s perspective, it’s actually quite diabolical.

The researchers recently conducted a 10 month trial of the system in Guatemala where it worked to reduce virus-carrying Aedes mosquitoes. These mosquitoes are responsible for spreading viruses like Zika, dengue, yellow fever, chikungunya, West Nile virus, and others. Population control measures to reduce the number of mosquitoes are an important aspect of combating these blights.

Over the course of the 10 months, the Ovillanta system worked better than traditional ovitraps, which are usually made from one-liter buckets. During the field trial, the team collected and destroyed over 18,100 Aedes eggs per month using 84 Ovillanta traps in seven neighborhoods. That’s seven times more efficient than traditional traps. At the same time, no new cases of dengue were reported in the regions where the traps were set up, but the researchers caution that this is merely an anecdotal observation. It’s also important to point out that this study is still awaiting peer review. That said, this area of Guatemala typically records about 24 to 36 cases during the same months.

Neat, right? Nice to see low-tech solutions perform so well. It’s cheap, easy to make, and environmentally friendly. On it’s own, the system likely won’t be able to completely curb the spread of mosquito-borne viruses, but when used with other population control strategies, it could contribute significantly to the cause.

[F1000Research]

“If Satan had the lead on him and was one delegate away from being nominated as our candidate, and Donald Trump was the alternative, I might vote for Donald Trump,” said Craig Dunn, an Indiana GOP leader who spoke to Politico about his state’s battle with the Republican presidential frontrunner. Despite this, Trump is still performing poorly among Satanists, trailing woefully behind a much more attractive candidate.

Why don’t people find something else to throw at politicians besides shoes?

Frankly, a shoe is not a great object with which to express your political leanings. It won’t splat and make a mess, like a tomato, and it’s certainly not heavy enough to do any damage. And yet, time and time again, a wayward shoe whizzes past the ear of an unsuspecting politician.

This time, Delhi Chief Minister Arvind Kejriwal was the target, according to The Indian Express. During a press conference Saturday, a man identified as Ved Prakash, was reportedly angry about irregularities in distribution of Compressed Natural Gas stickers, part of a plan to ration car use that has been a contentious issue in the country.

The insane moment was caught on tape:

But this is not the most famous shoe to be thrown, not by a mile. There was the CNN clip that accidentally recorded a woman talking about throwing a shoe at the Pope, and an errant shoe that nearly hit Hillary Clinton in 2014.

Why can’t we all just go back to the good old days, when we expressed political disdain with tomatoes???

It’s an exciting time to be alive if you’re keen to watch humans get off this planet. A private space race is taking off, opening new pathways to orbit while sparking a burst of technological innovation. Even better, thanks to the magic of internet live streaming, we’re watching history unfold in real time.

Speaking of history—did you catch that SpaceX Falcon 9 rocket landing on a fucking ocean barge yesterday like it was no big deal? Watch it again if you already did. It gets a little more awesome each time. Remember, you’re watching a forty meter-tall aluminum tank land softly on a giant autonomous raft minutes after separating from a payload (including an inflatable space habitat) in low Earth orbit.

A brave new future of reusable rockets is upon us. But what are the next big milestones for the private space industry? Here are five things to look forward to in the months and years ahead.

1. Actually re-using reusable rockets

Sending a rocket into orbit and bringing it back to Earth is a huge accomplishment. But what good’s a reusable rocket unless you start, well, re-using it? Musk has already decided that his first “reusable” Falcon 9 will be a museum piece, although SpaceX did test fire the engines after the rocket landed, and things seemed to check out. The rocket could probably fly again. It’s unclear what SpaceX plans to do with its latest space veteran—although if I had to guess, I’d wager they’re going to try to launch it again.

Blue Origin, Jeff Bezos’ private space tourism company, has also made huge strides toward reusable rockets. Last week, the notoriously tight-lipped rocket company brought a New Shepherd rocket to the edge of space and back for the third time in a beautiful, control descent.

2. Building lots and lots more rockets

SpaceX isn’t busting its ass on reusable rockets to haul NASA’s luggage to the ISS every six months: it wants to blast all kinds of stuff into orbit for all kinds of customers, and it’s already got launch requests up the whazoo. To meet them, the company is cranking up Falcon 9 production big time, from six to eight rocket cores per year to over thirty, according to SpaceX COO Gwynne Shotwell. Likewise, we can expect other private space companies to accelerate rocket production once they’re ready for prime time.

3. Bigger and badder rockets

Later this year, SpaceX plans to debut the Falcon Heavy, which will, according to the rocket company, “be the most powerful operational rocket by a factor of two.” The rocket is specifically designed to ferry astronauts into orbit, and eventually, to Mars. We can’t wait to see this thing in action.

4. Flying astronauts to space

Speaking of humans—right now, if you’re an astronaut who’d like to get to the ISS, Russia’s Soyuz spacecraft is the only game in town at the moment. But that could change very soon: last year, NASA has granted commercial crew contracts to SpaceX and Boeing. Per the contracts, each company will send anywhere from one to six crewed flights into orbit, beginning as early as next year. Before that happens, both companies need to complete a rigorous certification process and assure NASA that their spacecraft have adequate safety measures in place. Orbital ATK and Sierra Nevada were also recently contracted by NASA to ferry supplies, and perhaps an extra astronaut, to the ISS.

5. Space tourism

While SpaceX, Boeing, Orbital ATK, and Sierra Nevada are all chasing government contracts to take supplies and personnel up to the ISS, some companies have their sights set on a different audience: people willing to pay bank to fly into suborbital space. After a setback two years ago when its SpaceShipTwo crashed, Richard Branson’s Virgin Galactic has been working hard to get back on track, unveiling the VSS Unity earlier this year. But Blue Origin might be the first to open up the space tourism market: earlier this year, the company announced its intentions to begin flying private citizens as early as 2018.

6. Going to MARS!

Of course, we all know Elon Musk’s end game here—colonizing Mars! The billionaire tech entrepreneur has made his feelings on this matter clear: “I think the wise move is to make life multiplanetary while we can,” Musk told a huge crowd of scientists and space enthusiasts at the American Geophysical Union annual meeting last December.

Still, it’s going to take some time. While NASA has spent the last year doing its darnedest to convince everybody it’s got a journey to Mars in the works for the 2030s, the space agency’s actual plans remain nebulous. As private rocket companies continue to break new ground, it’s looking more and more likely that any crewed journey to Mars will be a public-private partnership.

SpaceX has hinted that it’ll be unveiling its own roadmap for Martian settlement—and perhaps more details on how we’re going to terraform the Red Planet?—later this year, so stay tuned.

A Paris attacks suspect has admitted to being the “man in the hat,” a figure seen on security footage alongside two suicide bombers at the Brussels airport.

According to Belgium’s federal prosecutor, Mohamed Abrini, the man in white in the above photo, said that he was there for the March 22 bombings that killed 32 people. BBC reports that Abrini is also wanted in connection with the Paris terror attacks, which killed 130 people last November.

“We confronted him with the video evidence prepared by our special unit,” a spokesman for the prosecutors’ office said, according to Reuters. “He had to admit it was him.”

A 31-year-old Belgian of Moroccan origin, Abrini is reportedly connected to the Islamic State.

In Virginia, law enforcement officers have been placing tickets on cars with expired inspection stickers as the cars sat at the shop awaiting inspection. The whole thing was absurd, but luckily, the The Washington Post reports, the nonsense has come to an end.

Last fall, we told you the story of Bruce Redwine, the shop owner who grew tired of officials ticketing his customers’ cars as they awaited inspection. He grew so tired, in fact, that he snatched a ticket out of an officer’s hand, an action for which he was arrested and booked. It was a big mess, but one that hopefully will never happen again thanks to a new bill.

http://jalopnik.com/cops-in-virgin...

The bill, proposed by state delegate James M. LeMunyon late last year, was signed on Wednesday by governor Terry McAuliffe, and included a clause banning authorities from ticketing vehicles awaiting inspection. Here’s the relevant passage from the bill (emphasis mine):

The following shall be exempt from inspection as required by § 46.2-1157:...12. Motor vehicles, trailers, or semitrailers, after the expiration of a period fixed for the inspection thereof, operated over the most direct route between the place where such vehicle is kept or garaged and an official inspection station or (ii) parked on a highway and that have been submitted for a motor vehicle safety inspection to an official inspection station, for the purpose of having the same inspected pursuant to a prior appointment with such station.

So finally some common sense driving laws coming out of Virginia, a state known as one of the worst for drivers.

I went to college in the “state for lovers,” and I racked up so many speeding tickets, I am now ineligible for classic car insurance (something that would be nice in Michigan, the state with the highest premiums in the country). Our Patrick George even spent some time behind bars after speeding there.

It’s a tough place to own and enjoy cars, but hey, it looks like this new bill is a step in the right direction.

The man of the people, the champion of the underserved, the enemy of all things “establishment” was seen strolling across the plush carpet of the Richard Rodgers Theater off Times Square, attending a performance of the wildly popular play “Hamilton” with his wife Jane on Friday night.

The New York Times reports that the outing was obtained the way the normals do, by buying the tickets. In fact, the play is sold out through the end of the year. So how is that possible, when tickets have been so scarce that people have been selling them for double and triple their value? From the Times:

While Mr. Sanders didn’t acquire the tickets like the 99 percent of Hamilton fans scouring the Internet for seats or buying them months in advance, Michael Briggs, a spokesman for the campaign, said Mr. and Ms. Sanders did pay $167 each for two house seats, the small number of seats that are generally reserved for people like dignitaries and relatives of cast members.

Exactly when the senator’s campaign staff reserved the tickets still remains a mystery.

I suppose it does pay to run a nationwide presidential campaign, sometimes. For the rest of us, we shall return to our filthy lines and our furtive exchanges with scalpers, spending our money on Hamilton tickets instead of food.

We have reached out to the Sanders campaign about the tickets and will update this post when we hear back.

At the end of March, hackers broke into the database for the Philippine Commission on Elections in what InfoSecurity Magazine is calling “what could rank as the worst ever government data breach anywhere.”

The hack came in a couple of parts: an initial event that defaced the website, while a second group was able to extract the database and release it to the web. The scale of the attack is even larger than that of the Office of Personnel Management breach in 2015, and leaked sensitive information such as fingerprints and passport information.

Shortly after the breach on March 27th, the Philippine Commission on Elections (COMELEC) reported that it was only the website that had been hacked, not their database, and that most of the information that had been leaked was public anyway:

[Comelec spokesman James Jimenez] said the hacking affected the precinct finder, video demonstration and the search function of the website.

“The website’s interface changed. But for the most part, the database are intact. As a standard procedure with any intrusion, we are taking the time to make sure that we remove all the malware codes that were penetrated,” Jimenez said.

...

“The Comelec website has been available to the public so if there are people who want to hack it, they have the opportunities to study its security features. We do not give high level of security in the website, even the precinct finder function, we have back up so it is protected,” he said.

However, in an investigation released earlier this week, TrendMicro discovered that the personal information of upwards of 55 million registered voters was compromised:

Based on our investigation, the data dumps include 1.3 million records of overseas Filipino voters, which included passport numbers and expiry dates. What is alarming is that this crucial data is just in plain text and accessible to everyone. Interestingly, we also found a whopping 15.8 million record of fingerprints and a list of people running for office since the 2010 elections.

In addition, among the data leaked were files on all candidates running on the election with the filename VOTESOBTAINED. Based on the filename, it reflects the number of votes obtained by the candidate. Currently, all VOTESOBTAINED file are set to have NULL as figure.

The entire database of 55 million voters was accessed, but it’s not clear if all of those individuals were affected. If they were, it could be one of the largest data breaches to date.

The first group warned COMELEC about vulnerabilities in their systems, particularly in the Automatic Voting Machines that will be used in the upcoming national elections on May 9th.

While this personal information might not directly affect the upcoming election, it does potentially leave millions of individuals who could be targeted by criminals with the information in hand.

COMELEC hasn’t announced any response to the breach, and how they will proceed moving forward is unclear. We’ve reached out to their offices and will update if they respond to our questions.

[TrendMicro, InfoSecurity Magazine, PhilStar]

Sen. Bernie Sanders of Vermont was projected to win the Democratic caucus in Wyoming on Saturday, with just over half of the counties reporting. The AP called it for Sanders with 56 percent of the vote, and his rival Hillary Clinton at 43 percent.

The state was expected to tip in Sanders’ favor. Right now, Clinton has racked up 1,286 delegates, and 469 super delegates. Sanders is still trailing, with 1,037 delegates and 31 super delegates.

Following news that the recreation of Donald Trump’s Florida mansion in virtual playground Second Life was owned by an anime schoolgirl, I decided to take a tour. It was lovely, until I was forcibly ejected by security.

Just when I thought I’d gotten Second Life out of my system, Trump drags me right back in. Driven by curiosity I logged into my old character, strapped on the requisite ears, tail and strawberry backpack and took a stroll through proof that Trump’s influence extends beyond the physical realm. Follow along in the video above, or read along below.

While concern over griefers has caused mansion owner JP Laszlo to set the house proper to private, a fact I overlooked until it was too late and I was booted miles into the sky, there’s plenty of Trump-flavored goodness to sample on the grounds. Despite my ears and tail the gates swung open freely, allowing me access to an exact replica of the real-world mystical portal that transports Trump supporters to his rallies.

The portal transported me to the recreation of a school gymnasium, where a Donald Trump cutout soundlessly shouted at row upon row of empty chairs. Or maybe he was shouting directly at me.

The cutout was only textured from the front. Walking behind it caused it to disappear, as if Trump only existed in one dimension.

Once I was finished being shouted at I wandered out of the gymnasium, where I encountered the Trumpmobile.

No matter how much I poked and prodded, the car refused to transform into a giant Donald Trump robot. If we’re not going to use Second Life to its full potential, what’s the point?

I hopped the fence back into the main compound and entered through the back door. I was so caught up in the majesty of the mansion that I did not notice the security pop-up, warning me I had 30 seconds to vacate the premises before being forcibly ejected.

I got as far as the spacious living room, with its gorgeous deer trophy and wall-mounted firearms before I was whisked into the sky.

Teleporting trespassers into the upper atmosphere is an incredibly effective means of keeping unwanted elements out of your home. Of course in real life said trespassers wouldn’t survive the landing, but I can’t argue with results.

Upon poofing back to the front of the mansion I discovered a network of yellow lines surrounding the property. For entering the mansion, ignoring the warning and possibly stealing fizzy lifting drink, I no longer had access to any of the rides at Trumpland.

But I still had camera control. Not even an impenetrable striped barrier could take the ability to pan and zoom away from me.

Books and alcohol seem to be a theme in the Second Life Trump Mansion. Here a copy of Wuthering Heights overlooks a well-stocked bar.

Here is the reading room, complete with more books and more booze.

Trump’s desk features a pair of photos of his family, if his family were a generic male avatar and what looks to be a woman wearing a Jungle Voodoo cheetah skin.

This is where the magic happens. Dark and terrible magic.

Finally we have the amazing kitchen, where many a Trump Steak has been prepared. Panning my camera inside the refrigerator revealed a healthy mixed of fruits and vegetables.

Having grabbed all of the footage I wanted, I teleported about the virtual world a bit, searching for other presidential campaign related areas.

This is my new desktop wallpaper.

The only other dedicated area I could find was for Bernie Sanders, consisting of an open area covered with meme pics. Every podium had a bird on it. It was not obnoxious at all.

I revisited the Trump Mansion a day or so later, and my ban had been reset, though the house itself remains off limits. It’s a real shame to build something so beautiful and not let people inside.

If you’ve got Second Life installed and would like to check out the mansion for yourself, click here to get your Trump on.

Note: A Chrome plugin error replaced Trump’s name with his family’s original surname of Drumpf in a previous version of this post.

Unapologetic bigot Phil Robertson delivered the invocation before tonight’s NASCAR race in Texas, and it didn’t disappoint—if you were looking forward to the duck call industrialist to pray for “A Jesus man” to be elected president in November.

That automatically excluded Hillary Clinton (who is not a man) and Bernie Sanders (who is not Christian) from consideration. (Robertson has endorsed Ted Cruz; NASCAR is pretty solidly pro-Trump.) Following the invocation, another member of the Robertson clan took the stage for a rendition of the national anthem only Madison Rising could love:

[Fox]

An 802.11ac router, dress shoes, and electric yard tools kick off Saturday’s best deals.

Bookmark Kinja Deals and follow us on Twitter to never miss a deal. Commerce Content is independent of Editorial and Advertising, and if you buy something through our posts, we may get a small share of the sale. Click here to learn more.

If you still haven’t upgraded your home network to 802.11ac, this highly rated NETGEAR router is on sale for $100 today, or $30 less than Amazon’s previous low price.

If you don’t have the cash for your favorite Audio-Technica ATH-M50x headphones, you can pick up a pair of smaller (but still excellent) ATH-M30x cans today for just $49 on Amazon.

http://co-op.kinja.com/the-best-headp...

http://www.amazon.com/Audio-Technica...

This is the best price we’ve ever seen on a Quick Charge 2.0-compatible Qi charging pad. Just make sure your phone is compatible.

http://www.amazon.com/KMASHI-Wireles...

Kmashi is also selling a QC 2.0-compatible car charger today for just $8, if you’re interested.

http://www.amazon.com/KMASHI-Charge-...

Today only, Amazon is offering big Gold Box savings on a variety of GreenWorks cordless yard tools, including a lawnmower, hedge trimmer, extra batteries, and a lot more.

Today’s other Amazon Gold Box deal features a variety of Kenneth Cole dress shoes, starting under $30.

Sugru is right up there with binder clips and the Raspberry Pi in Lifehacker’s pantheon of must-have gear, and you can stock up today with 8-packs from Amazon for just $18 each.

http://lifehacker.com/top-10-diy-mir...

http://www.amazon.com/Sugru-Moldable...

http://www.amazon.com/Sugru-Moldable...

Anytime you can get an 8-pack of Panasonic’s class-leading Eneloop AA rechargeable batteries for under $20, I recommend you take advantage. [Eneloop AA 8-Pack, $20]

http://co-op.kinja.com/the-best-recha...

http://www.amazon.com/Panasonic-BK-3...

If you need a charger, this 4-pack includes one for $16, which is its usual price. You might also want to pick up some C and D spacers to get even more use out of your AAs.

http://www.amazon.com/Panasonic-Adva...

http://www.amazon.com/Panasonic-BQ-B...

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With a good set of silicone cooking gloves, you’ll have full finger control when you handle hot pans in the kitchen. Hell, you could use them to just pick up a piece of meat directly off the grill, like some sort of barbecue superhero.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B014F1RHLE?...

The last month has seen a couple of great wiper blade promotions, but if you haven’t liked the the brands Amazon’s promoted so far, how’s two Valeo frameless blades for $22 sound? This deal applies to every Valeo Ultimate 900-series blade that Amazon sells, some of which go for over $20 by themselves.

All you have to do is add any two blades to your cart (shipped and sold by Amazon), and the total price will be knocked down to $22 at checkout automatically. I can only speak from my own experience, but these are the best blades I’ve ever used, and well worth the money.

The supermassive version of our favorite surround sound system is down to its lowest price today on Amazon.

If you aren’t familiar, this VIZIO system offers true 5.1 surround sound by way of a wireless subwoofer and a pair of satellite speakers, all without the aid of of a receiver, and without the need to run any cables from your TV to the back of the room. I own a smaller version of the same setup, and absolutely love it.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00GSJROBA/...

Don’t care about the rear channels? This 2.1 system is down to $148 for Prime members only. You’ll see the $10 discount at checkout.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00SMBG8QY/...

Anker’s kevlar-wrapped PowerLine cables have been an immediate hit with our readers, and you can upgrade your entire microUSB cable collection today with this $11 5-pack. We’ve occasionally seen this set cheaper, but if you’re in the market, it’s a solid deal.

http://bestsellers.kinja.com/bestsellers-an...

Tech

• LG Watch Urbane Smart watch (Android and iOS compatible) | $150 | eBay
• Polk Audio MagniFi One Soundbar with Wireless Subwoofer Black MAGNIFY ONE SYSTEM | $180 | Best Buy
• DJI Phantom 3 Advanced Quadcopter w/ 1080p Camera & 3-Axis Gimbal CP.PT.000160 | $629 | eBay
• Audio-Technica ATH-M30x Professional Studio Monitor Headphones | $49 | Amazon
• Jaybird Reign Advanced Active Fitness Recovery Band | $61 | Amazon
• NETGEAR Smart WiFi Router AC1750 Dual Band Gigabit | $100 | Amazon
• ORICO Aluminum Tool Free Type C USB External Hard Drive Enclosure | $13 | Amazon | Use code CSKC2LH8
• ORICO 2 Outlet Surge Protector Power Strip with 20W 4 Ports USB Charger | $12 | Amazon | Use code F26XYIBI
• Projecta - Versatol 77" Tripod Projector Screen | $60 | Best Buy
  
• 48"-65" TVs on Sale | Woot
• Mpow Swift 2nd-Gen Bluetooth 4.0 Wireless Sports Headphones | $18 | Amazon | Use code WKCUB5RN
• KMASHI 3 Ports Quick Charge 2.0 USB Car Charger with Cable | $8 | Amazon | Use code LDQYII94
• KMASHI Quick Charge 2.0 Fast Wireless Charger Pad | $14 | Amazon | Use code ZXOJDOR1

Home

• Mr. Coffee ECM160 4-Cup Steam Espresso Machine, Black | $30 | Amazon
• Dyna-Glo 6-Burner LP Gas Grill in Black and Stainless Steel with Side Burner | $199 | Home Depot
• JVC - CD - Built-In Bluetooth - Car Stereo Receiver | $75 | eBay
• Coaster Oriental Style 4-Panel Room Screen Divider | $60 | Amazon
• Cutter Backyard Bug Control 32 Ounce | $8 | Amazon
• Greenworks 80V Tool Gold Box | Amazon
  
• Sugru Moldable Glue - Black & White (Pack of 8) | $18 | Amazon
  
• Sugru Moldable Glue - White (Pack of 8) | $18 | Amazon
• Heat Resistant Silicone BBQ Grilling Gloves | $8 | Amazon | Use code FHOTNKLM
• AUKEY HD 1080P 140° Rotatable Traveling Car Camera | $50 | Amazon | Use code G7NXOBIW
• Chalkboard Label Stickers 48-Pack | $7 | Amazon | Use code GO7DR6VV

Lifestyle

• Kenneth Cole Dress Shoes | $29-$90 | Amazon

Gaming

• Microsoft Xbox One 1TB Tom Clancy’s The Division Bundle | $319 | eBay
• Wired LED Rainbow Illuminated Backlit Gaming Keyboard and Mouse Pad Combo | $28 | Amazon

Media

• A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (Modern Classics) | $2 | Amazon

Commerce Content is independent of Editorial and Advertising, and if you buy something through our posts, we may get a small share of the sale. Click here to learn more, and don’t forget to sign up for our email newsletter. We want your feedback.

Will Smith, who played defensive end in New Orleans for ten years, is dead after a shooting in that city’s Lower Garden district according to the Times-Picayune.

Smith’s Instagram showed him celebrating at this weekend’s French Quarter fest earlier tonight. He last played for the Saints in 2013; he was selected as a first-round pick out of Ohio State in 2004. According to Smith’s website, he was attempting to become an FBI agent as a post-football career.

Update (2:38 a.m.): According to police, the shooting occurred due to an argument after Smith’s car was rear-ended.

Dennis Hastert, the former Speaker of the House who has been accused of molesting five minors while coaching high school sports, is reportedly “sorry,” according to his lawyer.

The news broke after The Chicago Tribune reported on the millions of dollars in hush money Hastert paid to the victims, one of whom was 14 years old. Now, as Hastert awaits sentencing for a federal banking violation, he’s been forced to address the incidents, which reportedly occurred while he was a wrestling coach in the 1960s, 70s and 80s.

http://gawker.com/feds-former-ho...

The New York Times obtained a statement from Thomas Green, Hastert’s lawyer:

“Mr. Hastert acknowledges that as a young man, he committed transgressions for which he is profoundly sorry,” Mr. Green said in the statement. “He earnestly apologizes to his former students, family, friends, previous constituents and all others affected by the harm his actions have caused.”

The statutes of limitations on Hastert’s detailed sex crimes has already expired, meaning he may not face any punishment. Depending on the outcome of the current case, he could face up to six months in jail.

“They’re not real,” says Game of Thrones star Peter Dinklage, in a Clickhole-esque interview with The New York Times’ Maureen Dowd. “The dragons are just a projection.”

The long-awaited “front page we hope to never publish” from the Boston Globe is here, and it is reportedly a “joke.”

The paper announced earlier this week that its Sunday edition would include a headline so distasteful, so incredibly outlandish, that it simply must be a joke!

The Globe also ripped into Trump in an editorial on Sunday:

The rise of demagogic strongmen is an all too common phenomenon on our small planet. And what marks each of those dark episodes is a failure to fathom where a leader’s vision leads, to carry rhetoric to its logical conclusion. The satirical front page of this section attempts to do just that, to envision what America looks like with Trump in the White House.

While I, a proud native of the great state of Massachusetts, take issue with my colleagues’ categorization of the beautiful, honorable, and perpetually classy city of Boston, I hereby acknowledge that this is not a good joke.

http://gawker.com/what-is-the-he...