A great way to exercise at work, Timbuk2 flash sale, Timex watches, a $75 Hoover WindTunnel, and more lead Monday’s best deals.

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Top Deals

If you’re looking for a powerful vacuum that’ll suck up all that pet hair, but don’t want to spend a fortune, look no further than Amazon’s deal on the Hoover WindTunnel 3 Pro Pet. On sale for $75, you not only get a great bagless vacuum, it comes with the Pet Tool Pack, which includes a pet turbo tool, a pet upholstery tool, and a telescopic extension wand.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00IT2ISZ0/…

If you can’t find the time to get to the gym every day, this under-desk elliptical lets you squeeze in some light exercise while you fill out your TPS reports. This typically sells for $170 on Amazon, and today’s $100 Gold Box deal is the best price we’ve ever seen.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00SIBYETQ/…

Another huge sale from Timbuk2 brings a ton of their excellent bags down to hard-to-resist levels. Be sure to let us know what you pick up in the comments.

The “midway” colorway of one of your five favorite carry-ons is down to $159.

http://co-op.kinja.com/these-are-your…

A few colors of your favorite messenger bag, the Commute/Command lines, are also discounted.

http://lifehacker.com/five-best-lapt…

The extremely versatile and reliable Timex Ironman watches are under $25 today only on Amazon. Water resistant of up to around 300 feet, take these on a few laps around the pool and cool off during this Heat Dome without worrying about how much time you’re spending in the water.

Update: Sold out.

These cheap LED lights can stick directly into your grass to light a path to your front door, and since they include built-in solar panels, you won’t have to run any wires or replace any batteries. $18 for a 2-pack is one of the best deals we’ve seen on a product like this.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01…

If you’ve never checked out Nordstrom’s Anniversary Sale, you’re missing out on some pretty awesome savings. The retailer puts a bunch of Fall and Winter styles on sale way before they go into the stores. Once the sale is over, you’ll only be able to get them for full price, so you’d better get on it.

The MTA is a dumpster fire. Anything short of Stockholm syndrome and you’ll be having a bad time riding the MTA, and that’s before taking the heat dome into account. Save on already-discounted uberPOOL rides during commuting hours with the Uber Commute Card.

Here’s a stack of terms:

What to know

• Redeem by: Wednesday, August 31, 2016
  
• This offer is subject to Terms and Conditions
  
• Your two-week Commute Card period will begin on the day you take your first ride; your first ride must be completed between August 1 and August 31, 2016
  
• Valid Monday through Friday between the hours of 7–10 AM and 5–8 PM only. Trips must begin and end in Manhattan below 125th Street. Valid on $5 POOL service only
  
• The total voucher cost includes New York sales tax ($3.91), New York Black Car Fund Fee ($1.07) and the uberPOOL Commute Card ($44.02)
  
• $100 is a comparable retail price; MSRP is based off of two $5 uberPOOL rides per weekday
  
• Offer is final sale; offer cannot be combined with other offers or promotions
  
• Valid for new and existing Uber riders; limit one per person
  
• May be used to obtain the discount stated on the Voucher until the “redeem by” date stated above; after that time, the customer may obtain a full refund of the purchase price of the Voucher by contacting Gilt City’s customer service team

Restaurant Week is back with 3-course lunches and dinners for $29 and $42 respectively. It’s a great excuse to try some new restaurants, but you can save even more (always) by maximizing your credit card rewards.

Amex is offering up to four $5 credits when you spend $35 or more on restaurant week meals, while Chase Freedom happens to be in the middle of their 5% back on dining rotating quarter. You have to manually activate both these offers.

So where’s the threshold? If you value your 5% back on Chase at face value (Ultimate Rewards points are actually worth more or or less depending on how you redeem them), your check needs to exceed $100 to get more from your Chase Freedom, which isn’t much of a stretch!

2200mAh is about as small as USB battery packs get, but this one includes a built-in Lightning connector so you can plug it directly into the bottom of your iPhone.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00LNI5KN0/…

The Shark Navigator Lift-Away is one of your favorite affordable vacuums, and you can get a refurb from Amazon today for $90, or $46 less than buying a new one.

http://gear.kinja.com/your-favorite-…

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01…

If your home or apartment doesn’t have screen doors installed, this easy-to-install magnetic curtain will achieve the same effect, meaning you can let in some fresh air, while keeping out the bugs.

https://www.amazon.com/Magnetic-Scree…

Everyone needs a kitchen scale, and this $10 model from Etekcity is notable for its detachable bowl design.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00F3J9EGO/…

http://lifehacker.com/5840209/why-yo…

Tool collection seen better days? Everything you see above, plus a carrying case, is on sale for $99 today.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00JN3FGA4/…

It’s a scientific fact that every outdoor space looks better with copper string lights, and while $30 isn’t a particularly low price for a 66' strand with 200 bulbs, this set does include a remote that can power them on and off, and even make them dim, pulse, and strobe on demand.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01HB72UYS?…

You never want to be in a situation where you need a solar and hand crank-powered weather radio with a flashlight and USB port for charging your phone, but you probably should buy it just in case. This one also includes a 130 lumen flashlight, and even an ultrasonic dog whistle.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B015QIC1PW/…

http://thevane.gawker.com/you-need-to-bu…

If you’re still wrestling with a terrible inkjet printer at home, do yourself a solid and pick up the reliable Brother HL-2380DW monochrome laser printer today for just $80 (refurbished) today.

While it doesn’t print in color, it more than makes up for that with the ability to spit out 32 pages per minute, duplex printing, and inexpensive toner cartridges that can last for years without being replaced. We’ve posted a lot of Brother deals in the past, and we’ve heard nothing but good things from readers about them. Plus, this particular model has a sterling 4.4 star review average on Amazon, a built-in scanner, and AirPrint and Google Cloud Print support, so it should serve you well for years.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01BHSL7VY/…

http://gear.kinja.com/bestsellers-br…

http://gear.kinja.com/brother-makes-…

Hopefully you never need a dash cam, but owning one can really save your bacon in the result of an accident. This affordable TaoTronics model has all of the features most people need, and you can score one today for just $63.

That price gets you 1080p recording, night vision, auto on/off, and a g-force sensor to automatically lock your footage in the event of an accident. Now go film some meteors.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01FLPZNB4/…

http://jalopnik.com/russian-dashca…

If you still haven’t watched Firefly, or just want to own a physical copy for posterity, the complete Blu-ray is down to $13 on Amazon, the best price ever listed. Shiny!

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B001EN71CW/…

You’ve heard of Automatic’s smart driving assistant, but if $80-$100 is too rich for your blood, this cheap OBD2 dongle connects to any iPhone or Android device over Wi-Fi, and can fulfill many of the same functions using various third party apps.

https://www.amazon.com/Goliath-Indust…

Tech

Storage

• Transcend 64GB MicroSDXC Class 10 UHS-1 Memory Card with Adapter | $14 | Amazon
• PNY Elite 32GB microSDHC Card with Adapter | $10 | Amazon
• PNY Elite 64GB MicroSDXC Card with Adapter | $18 | Amazon
• PNY Elite 128GB MicroSDXC Card with Adapter | $35 | Amazon
• SanDisk Ultra 32GB Class 10 SDHC Memory Card | $11 | Amazon
• G-Technology G-DRIVE with Thunderbolt 3TB External USB 3.0 Hard Drive | $200 | Best Buy
• WD Elements 4TB USB 3.0 External Hard Drive | $120 | Newegg
• Western Digital Elements 2TB USB 3.0 Portable External Hard Drive | $70 | Amazon

Power

• APC Back-UPS 700VA UPS | $60 | Best Buy

Audio

• Jawbone MINI JAMBOX Portable Bluetooth Speaker | $50 | Best Buy
• Bose SoundTrue Around-Ear Headphones II | $100 | Best Buy

Home Theater

• Samsung UN55KU6600 Curved 55-Inch 4K Ultra HD Smart LED TV | $948 | Amazon
• Samsung 60-Inch 4K UHD HDR Smart LED TV | $979 | eBay
• Vizio E55-Inch 4K Ultra HD SmartCast E-Series LED TV | $599 | eBay
• Samsung 40-Inch 4K Ultra HD Smart LED TV | $448 | Amazon
• Sceptre 43-Inch 4K Ultra HD 2160p 60Hz LED HDTV | $250 | Walmart
• Samsung 60-Inch LED 1080p Smart HDTV | $680 | Best Buy
• Westinghouse 55-Inch LED 1080p HDTV | $300 | Best Buy
• Samsung 40-Inch LED 1080p HDTV | $250 | Best Buy
• Samsung HW-K470 4.1 Channel 460 Watt Wireless Audio Soundbar (2016 Model) | $300 | Amazon

Computers & Accessories

• HP 15.6" Touch-Screen Laptop, AMD A10, 6GB, 1TB HDD | $280 | eBay
• Apple MacBook Air 13.3" - Intel Core i5 - 8GB Memory - 128GB Flash Storage Silver MMGF2LL/A | $800 | Best Buy
• Apple MacBook Air 13.3" - Intel Core i5 - 8GB Memory - 256GB Flash Storage Silver MMGG2LL/A | $1000 | Best Buy
• Samsung CF391 Series 32" LED Curved Monitor | $300 | Best Buy
• LG 29" IPS LCD HD 21:9 UltraWide Monitor | $190 | Best Buy
• Asus 27" 1ms LED LCD Monitor | $190 | eBay
• BenQ 21.5" LED HD Monitor | $120 | Best Buy
• Dell S2316M 23" IPS LED HD Monitor | $100 | Best Buy
• Acer 23" 5ms Widescreen LED Monitor | $90 | Newegg
• Microsoft Wireless Desktop 850 Keyboard and Mouse | $23 | Best Buy
• Epson WorkForce Inkjet All-in-One Color Printer | $100 | Staples

PC Parts

• EVGA 80 PLUS 600W ATX 12V/EPS 12V Power Supply | $30 | Best Buy

Mobile Devices

• $100 iTunes Gift Card | $85 | Staples
• $50 iTunes Gift Card | $43 | Staples
• Samsung Galaxy Tab E Lite 7-Inch Tablet (8 GB, White) | $99 | Amazon

Photography

• Pinnacle Studio 19 Ultimate - Windows | $50 | Best Buy

Home

• Metal Loft Bed, Full | $199 | Amazon
• Hoover WindTunnel 3 Pro Pet Bagless Upright Vacuum, Corded | $75 | Amazon
• Samsung POWERbot Essential Robot Vacuum | $500 | Best Buy
• SYLVANIA Lightify Smartphone Controlled LED Outdoor Lighting Kit | $31 | Amazon
• Get up to 55% Off Home Surveillance | Home Depot
• Three Level Cat Pet Toy | $25 | eBay

Kitchen

• Ninja Nutri Ninja Auto-iQ Compact System 6-Speed Blender | $110 | Best Buy
• Sunbeam 5-Speed Hand/Stand Mixer | $25 | Best Buy

Tools & Auto

• Craftsman 3/8 In. Flex Head Teardrop Ratchet | $10 | Sears
• Craftsman Micro-Clicker Torque Wrench, 3/8" Drive | $30 | Sears
• Craftsman 4pc Wobble Extension Bar Set 3/8 Inch Drive | $7 | Sears
• Craftsman 2-1/2 Ton Floor Jack | $31 | Sears
• Craftsman 6-in-1 Screwdriver | $5 | Sears
• Craftsman 42 Piece Drive and Torx Set | $25 | Sears

Lifestyle

Apparel

• Amazon is Offering Timex Watches for Under $25
• Jockey Mens Low-rise Boxer Brief - 4 Pack | $10 | eBay
• ASICS Women’s GEL-Excite 3 Running Shoes | $30 | eBay
• Crocs Unisex Classic Flip Flop | $15 | eBay
• Chaco Z/2 Yampa Sandals - Women’s | $52 | REI
• Columbia Granite Mountain Fleece Jacket - Men’s | $24 | REI

Beauty & Grooming

• Philips Norelco Beard & Head trimmer Series 5100 | $40 | Amazon

Camping & Outdoors

• Ozark Trail Convertible Camp Bench, 225 lb Capacity | $29 | Walmart
• Happy Camper Two Person Tent | $15 | Amazon

Fitness

• FitDesk Under Desk Elliptical | $100 | Amazon

Media

Movies & TV

• Preorder Warcraft 4K Ultra HD | $13 | Target
• Firefly Season 1 Digital HD | $10 | Amazon
• Kill Bill Vol. 1/ Kill Bill Vol. 2 | $8 | Amazon
• Mad Max: Fury Road | $10 | Amazon
• Kingsman: The Secret Service | $8 | Amazon
• The Squid and the Whale & Running with Scissors | $4 | Amazon
• Constantine | $5 | Amazon
• American Pie: Unrated 4-Movie Collection | $15 | Amazon
• The Bourne Trilogy | $20 | Amazon
• Crank | $5 | Amazon
• The X-Files: The Complete Season 1 | $10 | Best Buy
• The X-Files: The Complete Season 2 | $10 | Best Buy
• Sharknado | $6 | Amazon
• Sharknado 2: The Second One | $7 | Amazon
• Arrow: Seasons 1-3 | $52 | Amazon
• The Flash: Season 1 | $35 | Amazon
• DC Comics Starter Pack: Season 1s (The Flash / Gotham / Arrow) | $46 | Amazon
• Justice League: Gods and Monsters (Deluxe Edition) (BD/DVD/UV Combo) | $16 | Amazon

Books

• Does This Beach Make Me Look Fat?: True Stories and Confessions Audiobook | $4 | Amazon

Gaming

• Buy One Gaming Currency Gift Card, Get a Second 10% Off | Best Buy
• Buy a $90 Gamestop Gift Card get a $10 Bonus Code | $90 | eBay

Peripherals

• Azio Backlit Mechanical Gaming Keyboard | $60 | Amazon
• Corsair Gaming K65 LUX RGB Mechanical Gaming Keyboard | $110 | eBay
• Logitech G502 Proteus Spectrum RGB Tunable Gaming Mouse, FPS Mouse | $60 | Amazon

PC

• Far Cry Primal | $30 | Amazon
• Rochard | $1 | Amazon
• Rochard DLC Hard Times | $0 | Amazon
• Invisible, Inc. | $10 | Humble

PlayStation 4

• Preorder Horizon Zero Dawn w/ $25 Gift Card | $60 | Dell
• Tearaway Unfolded | $15 | Amazon
• Far Cry Primal Standard Edition | $30 | Amazon

Xbox One

• Xbox One 500GB Console - Name Your Game Bundle + Amazon.com $50 Gift Card + Forza Horizon 2 | $299 | Amazon
• Far Cry Primal Standard Edition | $30 | Amazon

Wii U

• Skylanders SuperChargers Starter Pack | $20 | Amazon

3DS

• Buy One, Get One 50% Off Select 3DS Games | Best Buy

Toys

• Ride-On Toys Deal of The Day | Amazon
• LEGO City Great Vehicles Van & Caravan | $15 | Walmart

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The official launch of Pokémon Go in Russia has been delayed indefinitely, but Moscow City Hall promises to release an app by the end of August that’s kind of similar, but instead of stampeding after branded cockfighting critters, users can “catch” “historical figures” like Ivan the Terrible, Peter the Great, Yury Gagarin, Alexander Pushkin, and Russia’s only beloved dead post-punk rock star Viktor Tsoi. But you can’t battle them. And it will only work in Moscow. But you still get to walk around a lot. Nice.

Meanwhile, enough Russians are using foreign-registered accounts to download the app illegitimately that Russia’s consumer rights watchdog Rospotrebnadzor is investigating Pokémon Go for “possible harmful psychological effects.” A state-owned television channel recently aired a special report warning people about how they can go to jail for playing the game.

It’s not the biggest deal right now, but poke enough Russian officials into commenting on a hype thing and you get some really wonderful opinions. “It feels like the devil arrived through [Pokémon Go] and is trying to tear our morality apart from the inside,” said one parliament member. “We need to take people out of the virtual world, and this generally smacks of Satan,” said a leader of a St. Petersburg-based ultraconservative Cossack group. Oh, and my personal favorite—a retired Federal Security Service major general floated the theory that it’s all actually a CIA plot to get Russian soldiers to photograph secret sites and unwittingly harvest information for the American government, hahaha... ha. Hmm.

This morning, ousted Democratic National Committee chairperson Debbie Wasserman Schultz spoke in front of collected party members before its convention in Philadelphia. Her speech... could have gone better.

Part of it was broadcast by cable news networks. Above, from CNN’s feed, you see the moment in her speech where Wasserman Schultz began to be overtaken by jeers from the (presumably) pro-Bernie Sanders faction in the room, which set off counter-cheers among party loyalists. Wasserman Schultz, who spent much of her speech talking about how she will personally help the state of Florida elect Hillary Clinton, began to stumble over her words as the noise reached a crescendo.

The anti-Wasserman Schultz contingent—which were holding pieces of paper that read “E-MAILS”—shouted “shame!” at the deposed committee leader. The chant, which is adopted from Game of Thrones, has been popular among Democrats recently—it was shouted at Paul Ryan on the House floor after the defeat of gun legislation—but it takes on a bit of a weird connotation when directed at a woman being asked to repent for her sins (of which there were plenty) before a gathered crowd. In any event, bye, Debbie.

Toxic algae bloom Donald Trump appeared on Meet the Press on Sunday, where he took a break from an unbroken string of self-compliments to defend Roger Ailes, who recently “resigned” from Fox News in the midst of being investigated for sexual harassment. Trump called Ailes a “great guy” and hinted that maybe the fired CEO might now board the Trump Train.

“Well, I don’t want to comment,” Trump said of Ailes, before immediately commenting. “But he’s been a friend of mine for a long time.” He added too that the women who are now “complaining” used to like Ailes just fine:

“And when they write books that are fairly recently released, and they say wonderful things about him. And now all of a sudden they’re saying these horrible things about him. It’s very sad. Because he’s a very good person. I’ve always found him to be just a very, very good person. And by the way, a very, very talented person. Look what he’s done. So I feel very badly. But a lot of people are thinking he’s going to run my campaign.”

What? Who are those people? Wouldn’t Trump presumably be one of those people who knows who’s going to be working for his campaign?

Politico also pointed out that Trump continued to pontificate on the Ailes situation on Showtime’s “The Circus,” a political show that also aired Sunday:

“Roger is — I mean, what he’s done on television, is in the history of television, he’s gotta be placed in the top three, or four or five. And that includes the founding of the major networks. So, it’s too bad. I’m sure it was friendly. I know Rupert [Murdoch, the CEO of News Corp.]. He’s a great guy.”

Ailes stepping down was decidedly not “friendly,” although it did come with a $40 million golden parachute and a guaranteed job until 2018 as a “consultant.” It’s worth noting though that Donald Trump — a man who didn’t seem to know what Brexit was until well into June— has found time to get completely up to date on Roger Ailes and his alleged handsiness, surely an important concern for any Commander in Chief hopeful.

Here’s the full and fairly jovial interview, wherein Trump also vowed to take his revenge on Ted Cruz and reiterated that yes, he really does want to ban Muslims from entering the United States. Fun!

Screenshot via NBC/Meet the Press

The Federal Bureau of Investigation announced on Monday that it was investigating the hack of the Democratic National Committee’s email servers. The Clinton campaign has hinted at a supposed connection between the hack and the so-called “bromance” between Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin. In a statement, the FBI said it was working to determine the nature and scope of the “cyber intrusion,” and that it would “continue to investigate and hold accountable those who pose a threat in cyberspace.”

On Friday, Wikileaks published approximately 20,000 emails copied from the servers. The emails confirmed, at least in part, earlier accusations that institutions within the Democratic Party were not only biased against Bernie Sanders but actively working to undermine his primary campaign. DNC chairwoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz announced her resignation on Sunday.

On Monday, Clinton campaign chairman John Podesta told the Associated Press that there was “a kind of bromance going on” between Russian president Vladimir Putin and Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump. While, at first blush, this smacks of conspiracy theory, it’s not entirely implausible. From the New York Times:

Proving the source of a cyberattack is notoriously difficult. But researchers have concluded that the national committee was breached by two Russian intelligence agencies, which were the same attackers behind previous Russian cyberoperations at the White House, the State Department and the Joint Chiefs of Staff last year. And metadata from the released emails suggests that the documents passed through Russian computers. Though a hacker claimed responsibility for giving the emails to WikiLeaks, the same agencies are the prime suspects. Whether the thefts were ordered by Mr. Putin, or just carried out by apparatchiks who thought they might please him, is anyone’s guess.

There is no shortage of reporting on the Kremlin’s attempts to influence (or at least benefit from) the chaos Donald Trump has introduced into the U.S. presidential election. What’s more, Trump surrogate and VP contender Michael Flynn, a retired general and the former head of the Pentagon’s powerful in-house intelligence agency, makes semi-regular appearances on Russia Today, an ostensibly independent news agency that nevertheless functions as part of the Russian government’s propaganda war against the West.

Trump has tried to laugh—does Donald Trump laugh?—off this theory on Twitter.

This tweet doesn’t actually make any sense. Trump is trying to deny the possibility that “Russia leaked the disastrous DNC e-mails” as a “joke...which should never have been written (stupid).” However, as evidence of the joke’s stupidity, he writes that “Putin likes me,” when this is precisely the narrative that his Democratic critics are working to advance: That he is a Russian puppet being manipulated by Putin.

Trump campaign chairman Paul Manafort said on Sunday that the allegations are “pure obfuscation on the part of the Clinton campaign.” He added: “What they don’t want to talk about is what’s in those emails.”

Before joining the Trump campaign, Manafort worked for the better part of a decade as a top campaign advisor to Viktor Yanukovych, the pro-Russian Ukrainian president and close Putin ally whose overthrow in 2014 led to the ongoing proxy war in Ukraine.

The Democratic National Committee has offered a “deep and sincere apology” to Senator Bernie Sanders, his supporters, and the Democratic Party for “inexcusable remarks” made by staffers over email. WikiLeaks released approximately 20,000 emails copied from the DNC’s internal servers on Friday.

“These comments do not reflect the values of the DNC or our steadfast commitment to neutrality during the nominating process,” the committee said in a statement. “The DNC does not — and will not — tolerate disrespectful language exhibited towards our candidates.”

Whether this is too little, too late remains to be seen: Sanders supporters are so disaffected as to boo their own candidate when he asked them to vote for Hillary Clinton. And it’s only Monday!

http://gawker.com/bernie-sanders…

What’s more, the reality is that the DNC did tolerate such language: the comments do reflect the values of the DNC—values which demonstrably did not seem to include a “steadfast commitment to neutrality.” The DNC is steadfastly committed to what it deems best for the party, and it decided that Clinton was best for the party.

At least 15 people were killed and 45 more were wounded on Tuesday after a man with a knife attacked a home for the disabled in Sagamihara, Japan, NHK reports.

According to the Japanese broadcaster, police say a 26-year-old man who worked for the facility located southwest of Tokyo is in custody and has confessed to the crime. From BNO:

The attack happened at about 2:30 a.m. local time on Tuesday and is believed to have been carried out by a lone knifeman, though specific details about the circumstances were not immediately available. The man later went to a police station and admitted to carrying out the murders.

Authorities have not announced a possible motive for the attack.

PHILADELPHIA — All the Democrats had to do was have an uneventful, competently run convention. That’s it. Just four days where nothing horrible and embarrassing happened, with no ridiculous organizational fuckups or humiliating own goals.

Then Putin personally hacked the DNC, and Debbie Wasserman Schultz refused to be fired, and in fact nearly tried to gavel in the convention this afternoon despite the fact that everyone hates her. And all the Bernie Bros from the internet took the bus here to yell. Meanwhile, it’s also 400 degrees out and the press is miserable because everything is too far away from the convention site and the media facilities are lousy. And half the reporters here are exhausted from last week. Every sign that things are not going well here will be seized upon.

Here’s the angle of most of the coverage you’re going to get out of this convention: Chaos, division, open revolt on the floor, protesters going wild outside, the party eating itself, etc. etc. And yeah, it’s a bit unsettled here at the Wells Fargo Center, where speakers mentioning Hillary Clinton have been booed by some noisy Sanders supporters, who are also engaged in some anti-TPP chants and general rowdiness.

Outside the arena (way, way, way outside the arena), the lefties and Occupy types and activists are out in force. It’s ridiculous and cowardly how few people protested in Cleveland, which was, I guess, harder to get to and more likely to be full of open-carrying white nationalists, but they’re here in Philly, and they make for good copy.

But it’s mainly just that Democrats, liberals, and leftists put on a better show of public dissension than conservatives. In Cleveland, the insurgents won. Who was going to protest, Marco Rubio supporters? Ted Cruz’s own Texas delegation wanted him to suck it up and endorse the nominee. Conservatives are defined by respect for authority and in-group loyalty. The general attitude was, rules are rules, the candidates signed a pledge, Trump won, and everyone needs to get with the program. Meanwhile, here in Philly, half the Texas delegation just stood up and chanted “this is what democracy looks like” for a while. Why not? What is a political convention for if not politics?

The problem is that the modern convention is supposed to be a coronation—it’s four days of free media, the chance to present your candidate in the best possible light on live television with almost total control of the context and agenda. A couple hundred rowdy lefties could end up having an outsize impact on the coverage, depending on how they come across on TV and how much the TV talkers decided to highlight their rowdiness.

The nights, at least, should be interesting. Tonight theme is “sops to the left,” with Sanders and Warren. But how will this crowd receive Bill Clinton? (I’ll boo Andrew Cuomo myself.) Will Tim Kaine enter to anti-TPP chants? If he does, is that better or worse than Donald Trump’s running mate just getting ignored entirely?

Maybe by Thursday everyone will have calmed down. Four more days of this fucking heat and no one will have the energy to boo anyone.

On Monday, Symone Sanders, Bernie Sanders’ former national press secretary, took to social media to dispute claims that the Democratic primary election was stolen from the senator in the wake of newly leaked DNC emails, writing, “Now, we won some great battles, but the reality is the system didn’t cheat us.”

http://gawker.com/dnc-communicat…

“Team Sanders we did AMAZING WORK,” wrote Sanders on Twitter. “But we lost.”

Sanders further stated that the leaked DNC emails raised valid concerns, but, having worked on the campaign, she was confident “7 folks on an email didn’t ‘steal’ the election.”

Instead of focussing on the primary, Sanders urged Bernie supporters to use their passion toward improving the party.

“Folks like myself have a duty to call it what it is & then do everything we can to make it what it should be,” wrote Sanders. “That’s the beauty of our party.”

PHILADELPHIA — It’s the first night of the 2016 Democratic National Convention, and the Wells Fargo Center is about to be filled with the words of such great speakers as Senator Bernie Sanders, First Lady Michelle Obama, and Senator Elizabeth Warren. But first—Demi Lovato.

Now, you may be asking, who the hell invited Demi Lovato? And how did she make it past security? Dear readers, some questions are better left unanswered.

Ouch.

Growing bored, presumably, with “Crooked Hillary,” Donald Trump indulged in a bit of word association at a campaign event in Virginia on Monday. Clinton’s middle name, “Rodham,” he appears to have noticed, rhymes with the word “rotten.” Pretty cool! The Associated Press reports:

He argued that she dropped her maiden name of Rodham because it sounds like Rotten.

For years, she chose to use the name Hillary Rodham Clinton.

“Why did she get rid of it? Hillary Rotten Clinton, Rotten Clinton. Hillary Rotten Clinton, right?” Trump told the crowd. “Maybe that’s why, it’s too close.”

Maybe, but Hillary “Rotten” Clinton makes her sound way more punk than she actually is—he probably should have just stuck with Crooked Hillary. Could the nickname magic finally be wearing off??

Also, he called Tim Kaine a “weird little dude” in his home state.

Now that’s rotten.

PHILADELPHIA — Welcome to the first night of the Democratic National Convention, where we’ll be coming to you live from the disgusting, 200-degree little plot of land in hell that is Philly. Tonight we’re in for a special treat: Bernie Sanders will be taking the stage. And if god cares about the media at all, Bernie Sanders is going to give us a coup.

Sure, Bernie says he wants his supporters to get behind Hillary. And he says he wants everyone to stop chanting “lock her up” at every possible opportunity—but does he really? We’ll find out tonight. Join us as Bernie activates step one in his secret plan to hijack the nomination. There’s gonna be a whole lot of yelling either way.

After giving a speech endorsing Hillary Clinton as a Bernie Sanders supporter, comedian Sarah Silverman went off-script at the Democratic National Convention on Monday to tell chanting Sanders diehards in the crowd they were “being ridiculous.”

Then, Silverman and fellow SNL alum Senator Al Franken were instructed to stretch for time. It was ... awkward.

A clearly flustered Franken tried to tell a joke about delayed upcoming performer Paul Simon. Sarah Silverman posed silently while the chants continued. Near the end, CNN broadcast an audience member clearly shouting, “Bullshit!” Seems like the convention is off to a solid start!

On Monday, NowThis News producer Ian Mckenna tweeted a gif of fervent Bernie Sanders supporter and Hillary Clinton critic Susan Sarandon fuckin’ hating it at the Democratic National Convention, writing, “Susan Sarandon is having literally the worst time at the #DemConvention.”

Sarandon, for her part, agreed with McKenna’s assessment.

Damn.

After hardcore Bernie Bro Susan Sarandon acknowledged that she is in fact having literally the worst time at the Democratic National Convention this evening, she got into it with some critics over her onetime opposition to the expansion of a hospital near her New York City home. And then Kristie Alley stepped in.

“DM,” Alley commanded, beckoning her fellow actress into her private inbox. Right after that, she tweeted this:

What do you think Kirstie Alley wanted to talk to Susan Sarandon about?

On Monday, First Lady Michelle Obama took the stage at the Democratic National Convention to give an emotional endorsement of Hillary Clinton. “Leaders like Hillary Clinton,” said Obama, “who has the guts and the grace to keep coming back and putting those cracks in the highest and hardest glass ceiling, until she finally breaks through, lighting all of us along with her.”

“That is the story of this country, the story that has brought me to this stage tonight,” added Obama. “The story of generations of people who felt the lash of bondage, the shame of servitude, the sting of segregation, but kept on striving and hoping and doing what needed to be done so that today, every morning, I wake up in a house built by slaves.”

Damn, it turns out he was the good one all along.

Two attackers stormed a church in France on Tuesday, killing an elderly priest during morning mass and taking four hostages. They were later shot and killed by police, French officials said. According to French president Francois Hollande, the attackers “claimed to be from ISIS.”

Altogether, the Guardian reports, there were five people inside the church in Saint-Étienne-du-Rouvray, near Rouen, in Normandy, when the attack occurred: the priest; two nuns; and two worshippers.

The priest was identified by the Archbishop of Rouen as Father Jacques Hamel. His throat appeared to have been slit, Reuters reports, in what the Vatican condemned as a “barbarous killing.”

One hostage has been hospitalized in critical condition; the other three hostages were freed unharmed.

France is still in a state of emergency, which was extended another six months after the attack in Nice—the third major attack on France in 18 months claimed by the Islamic State.

Update – 8:35 am According to the SITE Intel Group, semi-official ISIS news agency Amaq is reporting that “two soldiers of the Islamic state” perpetrated the attack in Normandy on Tuesday.