A former senior NASA official died in the process of performing a dangerous sexual act upon himself, police in Thailand said.

Paul Milford Muller, who worked at NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory for 10 years as a senior member of the Apollo navigation team, was found dead inside a house in Tak province with a rope tied around his genitals, waist, and neck.

He is believed to have died of asphyxiation, though doctors have yet to rule out a possible heart attack as a result of a drug overdose.

Crystal meth pills and paraphernalia were also found in the room along with "several sex toys."

Muller had apparently been dead for three days when his body was discovered.

The 76-year-old had been living in Thailand, and recently joined Twitter to promote his latest book, a "romantic and erotic thriller" called Suicide Inc.

[H/T: HyperVocal, images via Paul Muller]

It's been well established that it sucks to be unemployed. And that it sucks to be undereducated. And that (in terms of socioeconomic equality) it sucks to be a woman (IN THE PATRIARCHY). And that it sucks to be white (no explanation necessary). Now, we know that the combination of all these things will, in fact, kill you.

A new study sought to explain why it is that white women who did not graduate from high school have a much higher mortality rate than white women with more education. They found only two factors that really mattered. From the NYT:

As it turned out, smoking was important, as had long been established, but researchers were surprised that joblessness had a dramatic effect, even after controlling for factors that employment would have generated, like income and health insurance.

The good news, I guess, is: drink all the booze and eat all the Cheetos you want! Just be sure you finish high school, don't smoke, and hold onto your job. Alternately, be a man. Makes life a lot easier.

[NYT. Photo: Shutterstock]

The Velvet Underground and the Andy Warhol Foundation just settled a lawsuit over a banana, in a debate that probably could have been best solved in some warehouse forty years ago.

A man charged in connection with the death of a Maine teenager apparently staged the girl's kidnapping so he could become a hero.

According to statements made by Kyle Dube's brother and girlfriend, the 20-year-old from Orono arranged to meet with 15-year-old Nichole Cable in the woods near her house in Glenburn on May 12th.

A ski-masked Dube then proceeded to attack the teen, duct-tape her mouth, place her in the back of a pickup truck owned by his father, and drive away.

After reaching his destination, Dube found Nichole had died en route, and decided to dump her body in a wooded area in Old Town.

Dube became a suspect in the girl's disappearance after Nichole's friend Bryan Butterfield informed the authorities on May 14th that Dube had set up a fake Facebook page in Butterfield's name to gain Nichole's trust.

Butterfiled told investigators that "Kyle wanted to have sex with Nichole, but that she has refused his advances."

On May 12th, Nichole texted a friend to say she was meeting "Butterfield" to buy marijuana, and disappeared shortly thereafter.

With help from Facebook, investigators traced the IP address associated with the fake Butterfield account back to Dube's parent's house, where he is currently residing.

Dube's DNA was also found on clothing left behind near the spot where Nichole was last believed to be.

The teen's body was discovered on May 20th; Dube was charged the following day.

An exact cause of death has yet to be determined.

The affidavit states that Dube planned to "kidnap Nichole and hide her" so that "he would later find her and be the hero."

A grand jury indicted Dube yesterday on charges of murder and kidnapping. If convicted, he faces a sentence of 25 to life.

[photo via Facebook, mug shot via Penobscot County Jail]

I despise when people say "Shocker" in front of a statement of fact, as a snide reminder of their own urbane ennui. If something is that unsurprising, why bother saying it all, you know? With that in mind, SHOCKER: the U.S. tax code is designed to help the wealthy.

I apologize. Please pardon that use of "SHOCKER," which felt almost physically irresistible. In this case, though, the underlying facts— via a new Congressional Budget Office report on our nation's largest tax breaks— are still worth passing on, as a useful and factual reminder that, for all of the heated political rhetoric we hear about "big government," that "big government" is still tilted in favor of those who need its help the least.

The new report finds, in short, that a hugely outsized percentage of tax deductions (which can be thought of as government expenditures) accrue to the wealthiest households in America. The top 20% of income earners get more than half of all tax break revenue; the top 1% of income earners gets 17%. "Well," you might say, in a goofy Republican voice, "sure they do, because they pay more taxes, in absolute dollar terms!" But even when measured as a portion of after-tax income, tax breaks "are largest for the lowest and highest income quintiles."

The very poor get subsidized, in other words, as well as the very rich. The middle class gets squeezed.

The largest tax break is untaxed employer health insurance. But the next largest, via the LA Times:

The next two are the tax-free savings of 401(k) and other retirement and pension plans and the special treatment of dividends and capital gains, which are taxed at a 20% rate for households earning above $450,000 — a lower rate than for ordinary income.

Both of those tax breaks accrue heavily to top-income households, those making more than $462,500 a year, the report said. In fact, almost 70% of the benefit of the lower tax rate for capital gains and dividends is "going to households in the top percentile."

That's $180 billion in tax breaks— which are the same as government expenditures— going to benefit the rich, by keeping the tax rate on their investments lower than the tax rate that a middle class teacher pays on her income.

This is a poor use of government money.

End the payroll tax, raise the capital gains tax, tax the fuck out of absurdly high income, do your part to help avoid a class war. USA.

[CBO via LAT. Image via CBO]

Viewers tuning in to watch Tuesday's evening news broadcast on Greece's state-owned public TV station ET3 were surprised to see a bit more softcore porn than usual in between reports on the country's latest unrest.

That is to say, any softcore porn at all.

While the staid anchor went on about the news of the day, a graphic sex scene was clearly unfolding in one of the screens behind him.

Commenters from the region who witnessed the "breaking news" firsthand reported that, rather than accidentally allowing a pornographic film on the air, ET3 unwittingly highlighted an erotic movie that was being shown on its sister channel ET1 at the same time.

See a gratuitous closeup below, courtesy of gazetta.gr:

[H/T: SayOMG]

io9 Greatest Wedding Photo In the History of the World | Kotaku Super Mario Bros. 3 Was Kind Of Different In Japan | Jezebel Lindsay Bluth's Face Overshadows Arrested Development Comeback | Lifehacker Four Healthy Habits You'll Kick Yourself for Ignoring Now

David Petraeus' road to redemption has reached its gilded destination. As we first reported in April, the disgraced former CIA director will join Kohlberg Kravis Roberts, the private equity giant best known for "large debt-fueled corporate takeovers."

How exactly does experience designing failed counter-insurgencies translate to an expertise in high finance? "As the world changes and we expand how and where we invest, we are always looking to sharpen the ‘KKR edge,’” cofounder and co-CEO Henry Kravis said of his new hire.

Petraeus will sharpen edges as chairman of the newly-formed KKR Global Institute, where his team will include Ken Mehlman, the former Bush campaign manager and onetime chairman of the Republican National Committee, who has been with KKR since 2008.

According to the Wall Street Journal:

The KKR Global Institute, as the private-equity firm has dubbed it, will bring together Mr. Petraeus and others at the firm to formalize discussions over macroeconomic and geopolitical forces that could influence KKR's investment decisions. These issues include the heightened role of central banks following the financial crisis, and what KKR views as "revolutions" in energy, manufacturing and technology, among other areas.

But Petraeus will also help the firm with its domestic schemes as well:

He pointed to KKR's decision to develop housing in North Dakota to address an influx of oil-industry workers as the kind of opportunity he wants to help the firm seize.

Silicon Valley venture capital firms have recruited former politicos like Larry Summers, Al Gore, and Colin Powell, but private equity still seems like the most popular exit for Washington D.C's revolving door.

Former Vice President Dan Quayle and former Treasury Secretary John Snow work for Cerberus Capital Management LP. Former President George H.W. Bush and former Secretary of State James Baker III have done work for Washington-based buyout firm Carlyle GroupCG +0.42% LP. A handful of officials from the Bush and Clinton administrations have or currently serve as Carlyle advisers.

See, kids, public service really does pay.

[Image via Getty]

To contact the author of this post, please email nitasha@gawker.com.

Last year, high school senior Emily wrote on her Tumblr blog, "if this [post] gets above 500 notes i'll use a horse_ebooks tweet as my senior quote."

Nine months and over 500 notes later, OP delivered.

Her post now has over 40,000 notes.

Horse_ebooks, the inexplicably phenomenal spam Twitter account, has issued a typically cryptic response to this harbinger of humanity's downfall, tweeting, "best expression of love and what you might want to do instead."

[H/T: Pleated Jeans]

The Chicago-Sun Times laid off its entire photography staff this morning in a purge that cut about 28 staffers, according to the Chicago Tribune.

In a statement, the Sun-Times said the layoffs were due to a new focus "on bolstering our reporting capabilities with video and other multimedia elements." The wife of one of the laid-off photographers claimed on Twitter that this means Sun-Times reporters are being asked to use their smartphones to get pictures, while the Tribune reports that the paper will use only freelance photographers from now on. The whole truth probably lies somewhere in the middle, as more professional newsmakers are forced to confront the question of whether simply owning an iPhone and some hip filters can turn anyone into a decent photographer.

The Chicago Newspaper Guild, the union that represents the laid-off photographers, said via its executive director, Craig Rosenbaum, that it "will be looking into all of our options, legal and non-legal."

Emails to the Sun-Times and a Sun-Times photojournalist who was let go were not immediately returned, but we will update if we get a response. The Sun-Times' statement is below.

The Sun-Times business is changing rapidly and our audiences are consistently seeking more video content with their news. We have made great progress in meeting this demand and are focused on bolstering our reporting capabilities with video and other multimedia elements. The Chicago Sun-Times continues to evolve with our digitally savvy customers, and as a result, we have had to restructure the way we manage multimedia, including photography, across the network.

[Image via Flickr user Kalexanderson]

If you're in downtown Manhattan today, be sure to swing by the lavish townhouse at 214 Lafayette St., where Google is handing out tangy cocktails, an entire rainbow of macarons, and of course, tens of thousands of dollars in gifted electronics to the journalists who cover it.

The entrance to the Rio-themed property, furnished as if Rihanna and Tony Stark shacked up, might be easy to miss. Luckily, as we were trying to crash it, a steady trickle of grinning reporters and editors popped out of the logo-plastered door brandishing brand-new laptops, tablets, and phones, which Google had given them just for showing up. When we tried to pop in to check it out, we were initially told it was "press only" and guests were only allowed with an invite—staffers from Reuters, New York magazine, The New Yorker, Marie Claire, and other top-tier properties waited to pick up their badges and head upstairs while dazed security looked on. It was impossible to miss the giant pile of computers and Google-branded tote bags awaiting them once they'd come back from the tour of the manor upstairs.

A pool, multiple bars, pastries, and product demos were lined up under 29-foot ceilings inside the SoHo palace, which is usually booked for $20,000-per-night rentals and Beyonce video shoots. But there was no such occasion today—no occasion at all, really. Google had no new product to show, no announcement, no news. Just ample air conditioning and a manufactured opportunity to ply reporters with fancy cocktails, food, and most importantly, Google gadgets.

"Have you made a decision about which gift you'd like today?" a Google rep asked an editorial duo from New York magazine. Attendees had their choice of a Nexus 4 smartphone ($300), Nexus 7 tablet ($200), Nexus 10 tablet ($400), or a Chromebook laptop ($250). Unlike the last time Google handed out goody bags, there was no mention of a loan agreement, or any pretense that these things would be "reviewed." This was a straight-up giveaway. Free shit. Delighted writers crowded in line to exchange their name tag for a valuable gratis thing. Not to single her out—she happened to be the only person we positively recognized—but New York senior editor Carolyn Murnick and a colleague were among those eagerly lining up (though maybe just to window shop). The rest walked away, struggling to hold the big new boxes they'd been handed, perhaps a little uneven from gin and tonics by the Google pool. A few disappointed reporters were informed that the party had run out of free tablets, but reassurance came quickly from a smiling spokesperson: the company was issuing "IOUs" for gadgets that were out of stock, and they'd be mailed to those who walked away empty-handed.

"We'll take care of you!," one rep chirped.

A day after a ricin-laced letter intended for New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg was intercepted by authorities, the FBI has seized another suspicious piece of mail—this one sent to the president.

You know how it is when you get on one of those mailing lists! Last month, a series of threatening, ricin-tainted letters were sent to President Obama and some senators, resulting in the arrest of a Tae Kwon Do instructor who'd framed his Elvis-impersonating enemy, allegedly.

Today, according to the Secret Service, "the White House mail screening facility intercepted a letter addressed to the White House that were similar to letters previously addressed to Mayor Bloomberg in New York."

The letter Bloomberg nearly received was apparently concerned with the mayor's gun control initiatives, and a similar letter was sent to his group Mayors Against Illegal Guns. The letter Obama received hasn't yet tested positive for Ricin.

[image via AP]

Today, the ACLU announced that it is filing a federal lawsuit on behalf of prisoners at the East Mississippi Correctional Facility, a private prison in Meridian, Mississippi. The suit alleges that EMCF is "hyper-violent, grotesquely filthy and dangerous." One example of the jail's dangers: this handwritten letter from an inmate describing his own rape.

According to the new lawsuit, the EMCF— a prison that holds "hundreds of mentally ill prisoners"— is rat-infested, poorly managed, hazardous to life and limb, and rife with inhumane conditions. Lights and toilets are broken; suicide attempts are "frequent"; medical care is poor; official supervision is lax. The lawsuit alleges that the staff "sadistically brutalizes" prisoners, and are "deliberately indifferent" to acts of violence against inmates.

That includes acts of sexual assault. The specter of prison rape is frequently raised as a risk of incarceration, but rarely talked about directly. This letter is one inmate's story, in his own words. The letter was sent from an EMCF inmate to the ACLU last year. Also included are excerpts from an investigative report from the Lauderdale County Sheriff's office, as well as an EMCF internal investigative report with more horrific details of the prisoner's ordeal at the hands of knife-wielding, cocaine-sniffing gang rapists. That report finds that the allegations of rape are substantiated by video and physical evidence. The letter, in other words, is true. Names in the letter and reports have been redacted at the ACLU's request.

This is one man's story.

The letter

The Sheriff's report

Excerpt of the prison's internal investigative report, finding that the prisoner was physically and sexually assaulted, threatened, and robbed

[Image by Jim Cooke. Photo via Shutterstock]

New cars are better than they've been in generations and many are being heavily discounted, which means it's a pretty great time to buy a new car. But which one? It's not an easy question, and, like all the hard questions in your life, Jalopnik's here to help with a giant chart that tells you exactly which car to buy.

Thanks to the awesome power of the Jalopnik Mainframe, we've put together this comprehensive flow chart to help you decide what new car is best for you. There's over 70 Jalop-approved cars on the chart, and by following the lines and answering the questions posed in the green diamonds, you should be directed to the car or cars that are the best fit for you.

Anyway, give this a try! I suggest printing it out nice and big and taking it with you to the dealership. Then they'll know you're no one to be trifled with.

Click "expand" to see it in full size or click here.

Now, the Jalopnik Mainframe isn't perfect, so there may be some cars you think we missed. In that case, tell us in the comments, and we'll run it through the algorithms for the next version. Fair enough?

UPDATE: I made some tweaks and updates, based on your helpful suggestions. Thanks!

Sir Patrick Stewart, guest of honor at this weekend's Comicpalooza in Houston, left attendees awestruck after responding with passion to one fan's gratitude for helping her deal with a history of domestic abuse.

The fan, Heather Skye, told her Tumblr followers about the nervous energy she felt before approaching the microphone to thank Sir Patrick for the Amnesty International speech he delivered on the topic of violence against women that helped her come to terms with the sexual abuse in her own life, and finally "start my healing process."

"After seeing Patrick talk so personally about it I finally was able to correctly call it abuse," she writes. "I didn’t feel guilty or disgusting anymore. I finally didn’t feel responsible for the abuse that was put upon me."

Skye continues:

After thanking him I asked him “Besides acting, what are you most proud of that you have done in you life (that you are willing to share with us)?”. Sir Patrick told us about how he couldn’t protect his mother from abuse in his household growing up and so in her name works with an organization called Refuge for safe houses for women and children to escape from abusive house holds. Sir Patrick Stewart learned only last year that his father had actually been suffering from PTSD after he returned from the military and was never properly treated. In his father’s name he works with an organization called Combat Stress to help those soldiers who are suffering from PTSD.

Just before moving on, Sir Patrick asked Skye if she was "okay," prompting the moderator to ask if she wanted a hug.

Then this happened:

Sir Patrick didn’t even hesitate, he smiled, hopped off the stage and came over to embrace me in a hug. Which he held me there for a long while. He told me “You never have to go through that again, you’re safe now.” I couldn’t stop thanking him. His embrace was so warm and genuine. It was two people, two strangers, supporting and giving love. And when we pulled away he looked strait in my eyes, like he was promising that. He told me to take care. And I will.

If Helen Mirren is Britain's One True Queen, Sir Pat is its Once and Future King.

[H/T: Geekosystem]

The Oklahoman newspaper reporter who wrote heartbreaking stories of families torn apart by the Moore tornado has been arrested for allegedly taking upskirt pictures of high school girls at the devastated town's graduation ceremony.

The Lost Ogle, an Oklahoma City blog, broke the story this morning of Zeke Campfield's arrest at the May 25 high school graduation.

According to testimony from victims and eye witnesses, Campfield, while working as a photographer for the Oklahoman, intentionally bumped into female students from the tornado ravaged town while attempting to take photographs up their dresses. When confronted, Campfield allegedly deleted the photos from his camera. He tried to leave the scene, but was held by witnesses until police arrived.

Several girls told police that Campfield repeatedly bumped into them and deliberately brushed past them while taking pictures, despite the convention center being "not so crowded." Several witnesses told police that Campfield was pointing his camera up the dresses of girl students. When police arrived and questioned him, Campfield reportedly had already removed his camera's memory card.

Campfield is a reporter and photographer for the daily, the state's largest newspaper. Following the enormous tornadoes that destroyed a mile-wide swath of suburban Moore, Campfield wrote and reported many tragic stories of death and destruction—10 children were killed and 2 elementary schools were destroyed. The graduation ceremony at the Cox Convention Center was for Moore, Southmoore and Westmoore high schools. Coming so soon after the horrific tornado, organizers had to plan for national and international media at the small-town ceremony.

Campfield went silent on Twitter for a week, until last night when he retweeted a list of Oklahoma schools with "safe rooms."

One of the child victims of Monday's tornado has the same Hello Kitty window curtains as my own little girl.

— Zeke Campfield (@ZekeCampfield) May 24, 2013

Campfield has reportedly been arrested and jailed before, in Montana. In 2003, "Nathaniel Zeke Campfield" was sentenced in Montana for felony burglary, when he was 21.

Just learned that Campfield's 2003 Montana arrest was for stealing... panties. This is getting bizarre. Very sad.

— The Lost Ogle (@TheLostOgle) May 30, 2013

The Oklahoma City Police Department's incident report, with underage victims' names redacted, details the weird scene as students and parents began calling police to report the alleged pervert. According to the report, several witnesses held Campfield when he tried to flee the building before police arrived.

Campfield has not been suspended or fired. Kelly Dyer Fry, the daily's editor and vice president of news, signed this statement that was sent to Gawker on Thursday afternoon:

We are aware of the arrest and have taken initial steps to understand and address the situation internally. Zeke Campfield has been a valuable, trusted member of our news staff for more than a year, so we are very surprised by the allegations in the police report. We will continue to monitor the situation, but will allow the authorities and the court system to do their job before finalizing our response.

One commenter on The Lost Ogle blog claims it's not the first time Campfield has been suspected of shooting creepshots while reporting for the newspaper.

Campfield's latest article on the destruction of the elementary schools in Moore appears in today's Oklahoman.

[Photos and police report via The Lost Ogle and Oklahoma City Police Department.]

Police in Miami say they had no choice but to forcefully restrain a 14-year-old boy who was playing on the beach with his friends because he was giving them "dehumanizing stares."

Tremaine McMillian was roughhousing with another teen in the water when he was approached by Miami-Dade Police officers and ordered to stop fighting.

Despite quickly realizing that no actual fighting was taking place, the officers still asked McMillian to point out his mother to them.

Tremaine says he complied, but Miami-Dade Police Detective Alvaro Zabaleta claims the boy refused to cooperate and tried to walk away.

"When he started to leave the beach area, officers had to get off their ATVs to detain him. He had closed arms, clenched fists and pulled his arm away," Zabaleta told CBS Miami.

Sensing an imminent "threat" from Tremaine's body language and "dehumanizing stares," the officers placed the teen in a chokehold.

"He started choking me, and as he was choking me, I urinated on myself because I couldn't breathe," Tremaine later told a juvenile court judge.

According to Tremaine, it would have been impossible for him to be clenching his fists because he was holding his six-week-old pit bull mix puppy Polo at the time and feeding him with a bottle.

He says the puppy was injured when police slammed him on the ground.

"At that point we are not concerned with a puppy," Zabaleta told the CBS affiliate. "We are concerned with the threat to the officer."

Police ultimately booked Tremaine on a felony charge of resisting arrest with violence as well as misdemeanor charge of disorderly conduct.

A public defender's request to have the charges reconsidered was denied by a Juvenile Justice Center judge, and his trial has been scheduled for July 16th.

[screengrabs via CBS4, 7News]

Financial stocks are booming, and more Ivy League grads are heading for jobs on Wall Street. Just your daily reminder that it is 2006.

In SheZow, a 12-year-old boy accidentally puts on a magic ring that turns him into a female superhero, known as SheZow. It's an excuse for lots of fish-out-of-water comedy and some personal growth. Or, if you're Breitbart News, it's a left-wing conspiracy. We talked to SheZow's creator about the controversy.

In case you missed it, there's been a bit of a freak out in the past couple days about SheZow. It started with Ben Shapiro with Breitbart News, which was upset by the notion of a show about a boy who gains superpowers along with a female persona, whenever he says the phrase, "You go, girl!". Shapiro wrote:

Nothing says “child-appropriate material” quite like gender-bending underage superheroes. At least that’s the theory over at the Hub, the network co-owned by Discovery and Hasbro, which is trotting out its latest soon-to-be-dud, SheZow.

The story got picked up by the New York Daily News, which quoted GLAAD's Rich Ferraro as saying, "This Breitbart News article is just a laughable attempt at attention seeking, comparable to Jerry Falwell attacking the Teletubbies, and demonstrates a profound ignorance of transgender people since this show doesn't include any."

Here's the opening sequence of SheZow, so you can judge for yourself:

We talked to Obie Scott Wade, the show's creator, who previously created Julius & Friends. Wade was kind of startled by the freak-out, which he hadn't been expecting at all. The show already started airing in Australia last December, and "it was really well-received by everybody there," says Wade.

"Just based on what they wrote, they're reading a lot into the show that's not there," Wade says of the critics. "I didn't set out to make a show about any sort of political agenda, I just wanted to make a comedy. I wanted to make a cartoon that I would have liked as a kid. So I think people are just reading a lot into it."

There's a long tradition of gender-swapping comedies, from Some Like it Hot to Sorority Boys — but Wade says he wasn't really influenced by those, as much as by classic Bugs Bunny cartoons, where Bugs will put on a dress to outwit Elmer Fudd.

According to the official description of SheZow from The Hub, which is airing the show starting this Saturday, the main character Guy "fancies himself an extreme dude" and has his own macho catch phrase, "It's a GUY thing." But when he gets superpowers from his ring, it gives him an "outrageous female superhero costume," which helps him on "his personal journey to become one heck of a super man."

So is this a show, at its heart, about a macho 12-year-old who learns to appreciate femininity? Although Wade insists there's no agenda to the show, he does say that Guy learns a lot of stuff from becoming SheZow — in one episode, he gets a "sense of super-empathy."

In another episode, he learns that one key to maintaining SheZow's powers is "good grooming," and "his sister tries to give him a manicure, because that's part of maintaining the power, and he doesn't want to do it. And of course that has a drastic side-effect: part of his fingernail falls into some toxic goo and becomes an evil clone named SheZap," says Wade, who represents "his dark side."

"Yes, there are a lot of experiences he has that broaden him as a character," adds Wade, "but predominantly it's about a laid-back kid who's suddenly forced to save the world. It's more about the responsibility that he has to take on, and less about gender."

And the show is absolutely not laughing at girliness or saying that femininity is silly, says Wade. "I think that it shows a very positive role-model in SheZow. There's been a number of SheZows over the decades, throughout his family. It's something that's passed down from generation to generation. And so women are very much honored in the show, and in his family."

In fact, the premise of the show is that Guy's sister is about to inherit the ring of power and become SheZow, but Guy snatches it out of her hand and puts it on as a joke. "Because he didn't really believe that there was really SheZow." And then it's stuck on his hand, meaning he's the one with the power and the outfit. If the show gets a second season, Wade would like to explore the history of the SheZow lineage and how far back it goes, and also explore more why the ring was able to work for Guy when no guy has been able to use it before.

And yes, Wade says the show's writers room is pretty gender-balanced.

Fundamentally, the gender issues in the show were something that "we didn't explore too much," says Wade. "We just kind of knew that it was there, and didn't geek out about it."

They set out to "make a good animated superhero comedy that didn't make a big deal out of the situation," adds Wade. It's more about having fun with the comedy, and exploring questions of responsibility, than "what he's wearing."

And one of the biggest misconceptions people have about SheZow is that Guy's body changes when he puts on the ring: it doesn't, says Wade. He's still a boy, just wearing a different outfit and hair. And the only ones who know that SheZow is a boy are his sister, his best friend Maz, and his supercomputer named Sheila — everybody else thinks SheZow is a girl.

So will it be harder for Guy to hide the truth about SheZow as he gets older? Wade says "time shifting is something I'd like to explore in the series. I'd like to jump ahead and see what happens in his future. So we'll see."

Welcome to Thatz Not Okay, a regular column in which I school inquiring readers on what is and is not okay. Please send your questions to caity.weaver@gawker.com with the subject "Thatz Not Okay."

I was walking home today after a night out. I'd ingested a decent amount of whiskey. On my way back to my apartment I saw a box, a box wrapped in a ribbon, sitting on a traffic cone. If it were a present, I would have left it alone, but it was a take-out box. So, I picked it up, looked inside, and found chicken wings. I did not eat them this time, because I am waiting on your advice. I'd like to eat wings found in a similar situation in the future. Is that okay?

Thatz not okay.

First off, I appreciate the boundless optimism that has led you to believe you are #blessed enough that you will encounter a gift-wrapped box of hot wings on the street more than once in your life. Hot wings are like miracles; they're all around us if we know where to look.

Human life is a legacy of risk. Thousands of years ago, our ancestors walked around pulling things out of the dirt and eating them. Some of them ate hemlock and some of them ate cilantro; you pays your dime and you takes your chance (or, in the case of mysterious boxes of food you encounter in the wild, you pays no dime and you takes your chance). Your hesitation to eat the food you found in the street is a triumph of evolution; the fact that you did seriously consider eating it proves that evolution is an on-going process.

Let me be clear: I empathize wholeheartedly with your desire to eat the traffic cone's chicken wings. Off the top of my head, I can come up with a half-dozen explanations for how those wings could have gotten there and still been safe to eat. (1. Random act of kindness from stranger. 2. Someone ordered unwanted wings to meet credit card minimum. 3. Someone drunkenly ordered wings then decided they didn’t want them. 4. Someone ordered wings then decided they were too spicy. 5. Someone ordered wings as a surprise for his girlfriend and then walked in on her cheating on him—with a woman—and, in a state of shock, left the wings on a traffic cone. 6. Someone ordered way too much food for a party and didn’t want the wings to go to waste.) However, it’s not unreasonable to worry that the wings were tampered with in some way. Ask yourself: would you give up a piping hot box of delicious buffalo wings unless you had a good reason? This worry—this very real chance that something is wrong—is why we do not eat the food we find in the street.

I once found myself in a situation very similar to yours. A couple years ago, I was walking home to my apartment, when I happened upon a dozen cupcakes sitting on a cardboard tray. Written in icing on the cupcakes was a phone number. I wanted so badly to eat the cupcakes. I stood there for a good 15 seconds debating whether or not to eat the cupcakes. (I should mention that they were next to, but not touching, a trashcan.) I thought about calling the phone number, but I worried that the cupcakes had been put there as a means of contact by drug dealers, or that the person on the other end of the phone would try to convince me to eat the cupcakes and then I would feel even worse about letting them go to waste. In the end, I left them for a braver soul and proceeded to walk home where I probably already had cupcakes waiting for me because I seriously love cupcakes.

I was proud of (and a little disappointed in) myself for not eating the street cupcakes, just like I am proud of (and a little disappointed in) you for not eating the traffic cone wings. People like you and I who hunger for life or, more specifically, for free food we find in the street, yearn for stories about fearless urban explorers coming upon inexplicable plates of tacos and eating them with no negative consequences because that will make us feel better about behaving in irresponsible ways. But we know, in our hearts, that eating food we just find in weird places is a recipe for disaster.

Incidentally, situations like these prompt the question: How far away from the point of origin can you find the food and still consider it safe to consume? Let’s say you find the wings on the counter of the wing place and an employee says “A guy ordered those but then left them here.” These wings, I would probably eat. Now let’s say you’re walking by the wing place and find a ribbon wrapped box of wings on a bench directly outside it. These wings, I would debate eating. If all appeared normal/hairless, I might eat one and not enjoy it anyway because I would be so nervous. I would not eat the entire box of wings in case something was wrong with them. Now what if the box of wings were located a block from the wing place? These wings I would want to eat, but ultimately would not. Distance makes the wings grow darker.

By contrast, if you do happen to find a sealed box of girl scout cookies or a bag of chips or an unopened soda on a traffic cone, totally, go for it. Enjoy your amazing life.

Recently a friend of mine called me up to tell me that she had discovered that one of our mutual friends was doing porn. I don't have any qualms about that (although it is a niche type of porn that I'm not into), but the issue is her porno name. The three of us all went to high school together. During our time at school a terrible car accident resulted in the death of a young girl that we knew. My porn star friend has appropriated the dead girl’s name as her stage name.

Originally my question was going to be whether it was okay for me to mention to her that I know she does porn, which on it's own is an odd conversation, but now with the name detail it has gone past awkward into the realm of bizarre. Is it okay that she uses the name of a girl we knew in high school that got decapitated to do porn?

Thatz not okay.

I suspect that you know it’s not okay, and are therefore presenting this not so much as an earnest “Is this okay?” and more as a rubbernecky “Isn’t this crazy?!” (Is the detail of her decapitation integral to the story? It is not.) You are right. It is crazy. What a strange, sad thing to have happened.

In answer to the question you sort of asked, it's not okay to surprise your friend with the knowledge that you know all about her porn career. You say yourself you have no qualms about it (even though it’s not the kind of porn you like — bummer), which suggests you don’t believe she’s in danger. You would only be bringing it up to “Gotcha!” her. Don’t “Gotcha!” your friends. Let her introduce the subject. If she doesn’t, you can bet that she hoped to keep it a secret. It is unlikely that it simply slipped her mind to tell her friends she does porn now.

Maybe one of the reasons she wanted to keep it a secret is because she is using a dead girl’s name as her porn name which, as you have surmised, is weird. Possibly indicative of some deeper psychological issues. Possibly just incredibly poor judgment.

To avoid this question in the future, here is are some good tips for aspiring porn stars to use when selecting their names:

1. Avoid the classic “Pet’s Name” + “Street You Grew Up On” formula, because these are common security questions, and you don’t need your answers plastered all over the internet. (You should be using fake answers for these anyway, by the way. The bank doesn’t care if your dog’s name was really XFj7!n. It just cares that you can provide the response "XFj7!n" when prompted.)

2. Don’t appropriate the name of anyone you know, living or dead, for your sex work. It’s just in poor taste. What is the best case scenario here? That they feel honored? Chances are, the only person who’s going to feel honored you adopted a real name for your porn name is another porn star, and you can’t use another porn star’s name for your porn name, because a porn star by that name already exists (them). The worst case scenario is that you will horribly offend someone and permanently fuck-up their SEO. (On that note, it was a doubly weird move on behalf of your friend to pick this particular young woman’s name, because searches for her porn work will also turn up news articles and memorial pages related to a horrific tragedy.)

3. When in doubt, pick a given name and surname from the top of the census. Welcome to the world, Sophia Miller. Today you are a porn star.

If your friend does decide to mention her new career to you, and reveals what name she’s chosen, you are welcome to express your surprise at her choice of moniker. You might tell her that the use of this name makes you uncomfortable, given the circumstances. You might ask if she’d consider changing it, out of respect for the girl's survivors.

Now. All of the name weirdness assumes that your friend has adopted the exact name—first and last—of the high school acquaintance in question. If that girl’s name was, say, Amanda Stoltzfus, and your friend’s new name is Amanda Dicksalot, you can’t really accuse her of naming herself after a dead person.

Submit your "Thatz Not Okay" questions here. Image by Jim Cooke; source photo from Shutterstock.