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Full Frontal Bummer: Google Bans Porn for Google Glass

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Full Frontal Bummer: Google Bans Porn for Google Glass

Last week came news of the first-ever porn app for Google Glass. Today, the App, Tits & Glass, debuted, allowing users to record themselves having sex from their own perspective. And only hours after the App was released, Google shot it down.

Google has officially banned all sexually explicit material from being developed for the Glass store. "We don't allow Glassware content that contains nudity, graphic sex acts or sexually explicit material," a newly revised section of Glass developer policies reads.

MiKandi, the developer of Tits & Glass, had been closely following the developer guidelines, only to find that Google had changed them overnight. Still, they remain committed to their App and following the guidelines.

"Although the app is still live and people are using it, at this point we must make changes to the app in order to comply with the new policies. Expect to see changes to the application tomorrow," MiKandi CEO Jesse Adams said in a blog post.

Of course, like all technology, people will find a way to harness this power for pornography, whether Google likes it or not. The Internet is, and always will be, for porn.


Former Instructor Gets Jail as New Assault Charges Hit Naval Academy

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Former Instructor Gets Jail as New Assault Charges Hit Naval Academy

Marine Major Mark Thompson, a former U.S. Naval Academy instructor, was sentenced to 60 days in jail and a $60,000 fine after being convicted last week of committing indecent acts, fraternization, and conduct unbecoming an officer. Thompson's crimes are related to a 2011 incident in which two female midshipmen accompanied Thompson to his home after drinking alcohol and attending a croquet match between the academy and St. John's College. One of the women would later say Thompson assaulted her.

The officer's sentencing comes on the heels of Navy authorities investigating another recent sexual-assault charge, this one leveled against three Navy football players who stand accused of gang raping a sophomore at an Annapolis residence known as "the football house." The alleged attack took place in April of last year, but the initial investigation was hampered when the woman failed to cooperate with authorities. She would later say a culture of peer pressure and intimidation worried her into silence, according to the New York Times:

In the weeks after the party, the woman said, one player approached her, saying he wanted her to remain quiet. She said she heard the same thing from other people who were in contact with the football players.

"This was a common message I heard over and over again," she said. "They would say that the guys are saying that me not talking had kept the peace."

Kenyon Williams, a midshipman and a friend of the woman, said she had to deal with subtle intimidation. "The football team sits together in the dining hall, and we would have to walk past them to go to dinner, and sometimes they would stare at her," he said.

The Times reports that when the woman finally came forth to say she was raped, she faced disciplinary action for underage drinking while the football players were allowed to play their season. Academy officials told the paper the players' athletic schedules went uninterrupted "because no charges had been brought in the case and they were accorded the presumption of innocence as a result."

The Naval Academy's assault investigation is merely the latest in a recent string of high-profile sexual-assault cases in the armed forces, all of which do nothing to help the military's reputation as being a place where rape and other sexual attacks are allowed to run rampant.

[Image via AP]

Facebook Taps Frank Gehry for New Manhattan Digs

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Facebook Taps Frank Gehry for New Manhattan DigsAccording to Serkan Piantino, head of Facebook's New York engineering team, the crew's move isn't going to be just any humdrum relocation: Frank Gehry, legendary designer of big wavy metallic buildings, will be converting two entire floors of office space for the social network.

Our new office is around 100,000 square feet and takes up two floors of an existing building. It's almost double the size of our current space and gives us room to grow even further. That means big, open spaces for people to work and collaborate, and lots of room for conference rooms and cozy spaces where people can meet or grab a white board to talk through ideas on a whim. We'll have plenty of video conferencing equipment to make meeting with our colleagues in other offices really quick and easy. We'll have room to build out a full service kitchen and serve great food throughout the day. And, of course, we'll still have all the other Facebook benefits like free laundry, gym memberships and lots of paid vacation.

We were delighted when [Gehry] agreed to help us build out our new space in New York. It will share many of the features of our headquarters, but will be distinctly Big Apple in design and speak to the unique experience of working in a place like Manhattan.

Piantino's description lines up with the earlier FB real estate rumor, so means Facebook is almost certainly moving into a space by NYU, where AOL currently resides. Those guys are gonna be so jealous.

Miami Prostitutes Mistake New Jersey Mom for Rival Hooker, Beat Her Up

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Miami Prostitutes Mistake New Jersey Mom for Rival Hooker, Beat Her Up

Anna Burgese was enjoying another humdrum stay in Miami at the five-star W Hotel when, out of nowhere, she was beaten by a gang of prostitutes who believed the New Jersey mother (in her traditional Jersey attire) was another, rival prostitute.

Even worse, Burgese claims in a Federal lawsuit against The W, the prostitutes were given a getaway vehicle by the luxury hotel.

Burgese is the wife of a prosperous Philadelphia-based home builder, who split her time between Jersey and Miami, where the Burgese's were frequent guests.

Prostitution has exploded in Miami in recent years, with an influx of Eastern-European sex workers looking to fleece big-spending American johns. When Burgese brought her complaint to the Miami police, they weren't surprised at all.

“They told her that the women were hookers who were likely drunk or on drugs and mistakenly thought Anna was a prostitute,’’ Burgese's lawyer said.

Burgese's lawyer also lamented the fact that no one is taking this story seriously enough: “She is the butt of a number of jokes and people are drawing conclusions about her appearance which are not founded. This does nothing to encourage other victims to come forward,’’ he said.

These Miami prostitutes are no joke. However, they were responsible for one of the most hilarious moments in weatherman history.

[Shutterstock]

Nidal Hasan Tells Judge He Shot Up Fort Hood to Protect Mullah Omar

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Nidal Hasan Tells Judge He Shot Up Fort Hood to Protect Mullah Omar

The Los Angeles Times reports that Army Major Nidal Malik Hasan, facing trial in the shooting of 45 people at Fort Hood, asked the judge today for a three-month delay so he can prepare a new strategy: The psychiatrist-allegedly-turned-gunman wants to argue, he said, that he was acting in "defense of others."

Hasan said he was protecting "the leaders of the Islamic emirate of Afghanistan, the Taliban specifically" including Mullah Omar, their spiritual leader. Then he asked for a break to "gather my thoughts.”

When Hasan returned, the judge asked him to further detail his defense, and he demurred.

Hasan fired his military lawyers yesterday, choosing to represent himself against 13 charges of murder and 32 charges of attempted murder. In response to the judge's questioning, he said that the victims at Fort Hood were "about to deploy to Afghanistan," and that he was protecting the Taliban from attackers including "everybody who supported the government—the leadership, the soldiers."

After Hasan said he needed "time to put this together in a coherent fashion," the Times reported, the judge granted him until noon tomorrow.

[Photo via AP]

New Jersey Children Forced to Shun Sad, Friendless Bear

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New Jersey Children Forced to Shun Sad, Friendless Bear

Bear the bear thought that, maybe, in New Jersey, he would finally make a friend. On Monday morning, he ended up in Montclair, not a bad little town, with its own art museum and a Whole Foods and big green backyards, perfect for a bear and his friends to play in. Scared and alone—his first time in New Jersey's 60th-most-populous municipality—he began lumbering around, hoping that a friend would find him.

Alas, all of his potential friends were immediately ushered indoors. The New York Times reports that children across the Montclair school district were ordered to be kept inside Tuesday morning, staring at the cloudless blue sky from inside their classrooms, like bears in cages. Preparations for a fun-run to raise money for Africa were postponed. Cool eighth graders' plans to discreetly smoke cigarettes behind the science trailer were put on hold. There would be no morning P.E.

"The Montclair Police Department has notified us that there have been bear citings in Montclair," the superintendent explained in a note to parents. Unfortunately, for many, the typo of "citing" for "sighting" overshadowed the importance of the communication. (In a subsequent note, the superintendent apologized for the error, saying she "[trusts] that it did not overshadow the importance of the communication.”)

But back to that wandering, woeful black bear. Each time he was spotted, police rushed to the location to sound horns and make noise at him; a misguided attempt to drive him toward a nearby wildlife reservation that only succeeded in creating a party vibe. The Times reports that the scene buzzed with "a general carnival atmosphere."

The bear wandered around near the Whole Foods, before he remembered he didn't have any money. He shimmied up a tree and imagined all the things he and his friend would say to one another, like "You're my friend and I love you." He stood in a backyard and waited for his life to begin.

He was in a backyard, looking bored. He was up a tree, looking reflective. He was in the street, looking sad. The bear even made it near a Whole Foods market, where he was spotted looking confused, according to one posting.

"That's just my face," the bear would think later, after hearing the things people had been saying behind his back. "But now I really do feel sad."

By midmorning, the 18 month old animal had been tranquilized, tagged, and, in classic Jersey fashion, given a tattoo he would not remember getting (for identification purposes).

The children were free to go outside.

[Image via Shutterstock]

To contact the author of this post, email caity@gawker.com.

Woman Credits Waka Flocka Flame for the End of Her Unhappy Marriage

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Woman Credits Waka Flocka Flame for the End of Her Unhappy Marriage

Via the Hairpin comes this inspiring Source story of how one 53-year-old woman's affinity for the Southern rapper Waka Flocka Flame gave her the epiphany and courage to end her marriage. Writes social media communications advisor Dianne D (aka WebDiva423):

Now, my ex-husband and I had always had problems. We were on a typical bad relationship roller coaster; good times followed by bad times followed by good times and so on. Finally, the good times were just too far between and although the bad times subsided too, we fell into a very polite and civilized existence. That is, until Waka came to town.

My ex NEVER liked rap, my interest in rap & rap artists, or my blogging about rap. When I knew Waka was coming to Ft. Lauderdale, my husband basically said he wouldn’t prevent me from going (as if) but he didn’t want me to go. When I didn’t immediately agree not to go, things got worse. He basically implied that (and I’m paraphrasing) “many black men would be putting their bodies in close proximity to mine.” Also, “since I was so enamored of Waka, if Waka asked, I might go out clubbing with him and end up doing something I’d regret.”

She didn't go out clubbing with Waka, but she did go to his show anyway and posed for a few pictures alongside her beloved Flocka Flame during his meet and greet with fans:

I had DM’d him a few times before the concert to tell him I was coming & would be the old white lady with reddish hair in the front. When I got my turn for the photo, I said, “Waka, you follow me on Twitter.” He replied, “Oh yeah, you said you was comin’!”

I was so thrilled! It really made my night, my week, my year, my decade. And when I got home, I realized that I’d gotten TWO photos with Waka; the first one was when I replied “Oh yes, Waka, that was me!” and was all googly-eyed and giggling like a schoolgirl. The second photo was the posed shot.

So, basically, the experience with my ex of the Waka concert made my mind up for me. It was time to make that break, and live my life without looking over my shoulder or being beholden to an immature man who didn’t appreciate me or the interesting turns my life might take. We’ve been divorced for a few months now. I couldn’t be happier.

An "Eternal Flame" reference is tempting, but it's the wrong genre and Dianne D would probably find it lame.

[Image via Getty]

Taco Bell says the photo of an employee licking a stack of taco shells was taken for "an internal co

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Taco Bell says the photo of an employee licking a stack of taco shells was taken for "an internal contest" and the shells were "in [the] process of being thrown out." The employee has been fired anyway.


Ohio Police Chief Sets Quota for Tickets, Tells Officers to Target Kids

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Ohio Police Chief Sets Quota for Tickets, Tells Officers to Target Kids

The police chief of Brimfield Township in Ohio is being praised by people from around the country for announcing on his department's Facebook page that officers have been ordered to issue at least one ticket per shift, and are "strongly encourag[ed]" to target small children.

That's right: It's Opposite Summer in Brimfield, and any kid caught wearing a helmet while riding their bike will be stopped by police and issued a ticket — for a free ice cream cone.

The police-issued "prank" is part of a campaign called Operation Safe Summer, an annual tradition aimed at promoting positive behavior with an refreshing incentive.

The owner of Frank’s Drive-In, which will be accepting the "tickets" all summer long, says he hopes the officers will also "write kids up" for "any act of kindness or bravery" that they witness.

"My son was all over it last week," said local mother Kelly. "As soon as he heard about it, he came home from school, riding around with his helmet on, just waiting for somebody to pull him over."

[photo via Facebook]

Videogame Based on Joy Division Song Is Proof of Millenial Cannibals

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Mighty Box Games, a European development shop, has decided to stomp out the dying embers of unmitigated emotion by creating a videogame "loosely based" on the Joy Division song "Love Will Tear Us Apart."

Consequence of Sound says the game is sure to make you want to "cancel your Xbox Live membership":

In keeping with the wrist-slitting vibe, the game encourages players to “reflect on the darker side of love: miscommunication, emotional impasse and the sadness of separation. Solace may be found in the brief moment of lightness that comes over us when we come to terms with the reality of an irreconcilable relationship.” So, thinkHalo, except replace The Flood with your girlfriend and energy swords with feelings and conversation.

Do you ever feel like Millenials are just waiting around to cannibalize your rotting (but still living) corpse?

[Video via Consequence of Sound]

Obama's Trade Nominee Stashes Cash in Offshore Tax Haven

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Obama's Trade Nominee Stashes Cash in Offshore Tax Haven

Michael Froman is President Obama's nominee to be the new U.S. Trade Representative, the government's top international trade agreement negotiator. Also, Michael Froman has cash stashed in the Cayman Islands and takes advantage of tax loopholes Obama has publicly railed against. Hmm.

The NYT reports on the results of Froman's financial disclosure forms, handed over to the Senate committee handling his nomination process. Well now, let's see here, we need a squeaky clean representative of America's financial policies, everything seems to be in order here... oh, well, one thing:

According to a 2011 financial document, Mr. Froman held $490,845 in Citigroup’s CVCIGP II U.S. Employee L.P. fund, based in Grand Cayman’s Ugland House [pictured], a modest, white-washed building that has been widely cited as a symbol of tax avoidance since it is home to nearly 19,000 business entities seeking favorable tax treatment.

Yeah...and the other thing, while you're down there:

Mr. Froman’s 2009 financial disclosure forms showed holdings in three different Citigroup accounts that maximize profits through “carried interest,” a tax loophole that allows private equity and hedge fund managers to claim compensation as capital gains, thus paying a lower tax rate than if that pay is taxed as income.

A loophole that Obama is currently trying to close, to the dismay of the hedge fund industry! In conclusion, this guy should not be U.S. Trade Representative, if such financial policies are taken to represent actual values (which they should), because he has flouted those actual values for his own financial gain, and the fact that he only did what it is standard practice to do in the finance industry is no excuse, because Obama is trying to change the standard practice, because that standard practice is in fact detrimental to America, both financially and morally, as it is one of the most shockingly regressive taxation loopholes in all the land. So unless Obama really only, wink-wink, thinks these rules he's proposing are for other people, why not find a better U.S. Trade Representative, like, I dunno, Ralph Nader.

Abolish tax havens, break up Citigroup, Nader-Chomsky 2016.

[NYT. Photo: AP]

Outbreak of Infectious Giggles Shuts Down Israeli Government

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It was the laughing fit that nearly brought down an entire country.

Israel's education minister Rabbi Shai Piron was called before the Knesset to deliver the government's position on a law to prevent dangerous items from being smuggled into local prisons, but was unable to finish his speech due to a sudden outbreak of giggles.

His laughter quickly infected other lawmakers, and soon enough the entire late-night session came to a standstill.

After several long minutes, Piron finally gave up and ceded the dais to Welfare Minister Meir Cohen, who was thankfully able to wrap things up.

Though some are attributing Piron's giggling to juvenile amusement at seeing the word "penetration" in his speech, Piron himself says he and his colleagues were merely exhausted from working past their bedtime.

[H/T: HyperVocal]

The Rob Ford Crack Video Might Be "Gone"

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The Rob Ford Crack Video Might Be "Gone"

Before the Rob Ford Crackstarter—our crowdfunding effort to purchase and publish a video of Toronto mayor Rob Ford smoking crack cocaine—reached its $200,000 goal last month, we let everyone know that we had lost contact with the people who have custody of the video. At the end of last week, after a long silence, the video's owner reached out to the intermediary we have been dealing with. He told him the video is "gone."

What does that mean? We don't really know. A few days after we posted our story about having viewed the video in a car in a parking lot in Toronto, the owner went silent. Two Toronto Star reporters had quickly followed our report, claiming to have seen the same video. Both Gawker and the Star reporters were introduced to the owner of the video by the same intermediary.

The attention surrounding the breaking of the story had two important consequences: First, the owner of the video became angry at us, and at the intermediary. The owner was trying to sell the video, but he apparently didn't want or anticipate the media circus that erupted after the story broke. We decided to break it, with the consent of the intermediary, after a CNN reporter called one of Ford's ex-staffers about the video and word started to get out. The CNN reporter had learned about the video after we confidentially reached out to the network in an effort to partner in purchasing it.

Our decision to publish was informed by 1) a desire to get ahead of any rival stories that the gossip mill might generate and 2) a fear that, once Ford was privately alerted to the existence of the video, he would start trying to track it down. That decision lit a match on this story that made it much more difficult—and maybe impossible—to get a deal done and bring the video to the light of day.

Complicating matters was the fact that the Star's coverage contained several details—including the rough location where its reporters viewed the video, the rough location where it was purportedly recorded, a description of the intermediary's line of work, the ethnicity of the intermediary and the owner, and physical details about the video owner's appearance—that may have been helpful in identifying and locating the owner. Indeed, according to the Star and other outlets, Ford himself told his staff that the video could be found at a Toronto address—320 Dixon Rd.—near the location where the Star reporters wrote that they viewed it. (Whether he deduced that location—which may or may not be where the video was actually stored—from the Star's coverage or would have known anyway, we can't say.)

The second consequence was that Toronto's tight-knit Somali ethnic community became angry. The Canadian media seized on the Star's repeated description of the owners as "Somali men involved in the drug trade." The story quickly became about Rob Ford and his "Somali crack dealers," and the Star's public editor subsequently criticized the paper for "going overboard" on the references to the Somali community. We don't know for certain the citizenship or immigration status of the video's owner, but shortly after the story broke, the intermediary told me: "We're all Canadians."

According to the intermediary, these two factors—a fear of being identified, and a strong desire from the Somali community to make the whole thing go away—led the owner of the video to go to ground and soured the owner's relationship with the intermediary. I frankly find it difficult to believe that a crack dealer would be more responsive to the desires of his ethnic community than to a $200,000 bounty. But I have heard independently from others familiar with the goings-on in Toronto that leaders in its Somali community have determined who the owner is and brought intense pressure to bear on him and his family. Toronto's "Little Mogadishu" neighborhood is located in the ward Rob Ford represented when he was a city councillor; though he is a conservative and a racist buffoon, I am told he has long-standing connections to Somali power brokers there.

Which brings us to this past Friday, when the intermediary called to tell me that he had finally heard from the owner. And his message was: "It's gone. Leave me alone." It was, the intermediary told me, a short conversation.

"It's gone" could mean many things. It might mean that the video has been destroyed. It might mean that it has been handed over to Ford or his allies. It might mean that he intends to sell or give it to a Canadian media outlet. It might mean that the Toronto Police Department has seized it and plans to use it as evidence in a criminal investigation. It might mean that it has been transferred to the custody of Somali community leaders for safekeeping. It might be a lie. The intermediary doesn't know. Neither do I.

I do know that Gawker is currently sitting on $184,689.81 collected via our Rob Ford Crackstarter. (That's $201,254 raised in total, less $8,365.23 in fees extracted by PayPal, $8,043.96 taken by Indiegogo, and $155 in contributions raised that we have yet to receive.) It is obviously our hope that someone steps up to claim this money and provides us the video.

The intermediary has claimed that a copy of the video was made and taken outside Toronto for safekeeping. We don't know if that's true, or if it is, whether that copy is also "gone." We can still imagine any number of scenarios in which this video comes to light. If you are reading this, and you have access to the video, and you like money, please email me at john@gawker.com.

If this doesn't happen soon, we will—as we initially promised when we launched the campaign—select a Canadian nonprofit that addresses substance abuse issues to receive the money.

Don't do crack.

[Image by Jim Cooke]

My Upcoming Vacation, Illustrated via Beyoncé Gifs

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My Upcoming Vacation, Illustrated via Beyoncé Gifs

One of the noblest, most versatile, and yet most underused story-telling mediums available today is the Beyoncé gif.

For the rest of the week, I'm going to be on vacation, visiting my boyfriend's family.

Here is the story of what will happen, illustrated via Beyoncé gifs.

Our flight leaves early in the morning, so when I wake up, I will be like "This is crazy!"

My Upcoming Vacation, Illustrated via Beyoncé Gifs


I'm going to take a shower.

My Upcoming Vacation, Illustrated via Beyoncé Gifs


And get dressed.

My Upcoming Vacation, Illustrated via Beyoncé Gifs


I will ask my boyfriend if he's ready.

My Upcoming Vacation, Illustrated via Beyoncé Gifs


And grab my bag.

My Upcoming Vacation, Illustrated via Beyoncé Gifs


Then, on the steps, I'll say the same thing I say every day which is "I THINK I FORGOT PHONE."

My Upcoming Vacation, Illustrated via Beyoncé Gifs


But actually I will have had it on me the whole time.

My Upcoming Vacation, Illustrated via Beyoncé Gifs


I will be chill on the plane like I always am.

My Upcoming Vacation, Illustrated via Beyoncé Gifs


And as his parents drive us back to their house, I'll look out the window and sigh "I've been to Madrid so many times, but I've never seen Madrid."

My Upcoming Vacation, Illustrated via Beyoncé Gifs


And they'll be like "...We're in Kentucky."

My Upcoming Vacation, Illustrated via Beyoncé Gifs


And I'll cover real quick like "...I know."

My Upcoming Vacation, Illustrated via Beyoncé Gifs


When we get to their house, I'll run inside and touch everything because I've never been there before.

My Upcoming Vacation, Illustrated via Beyoncé Gifs


And I'll have wine with his mom—hey Karen.

My Upcoming Vacation, Illustrated via Beyoncé Gifs


My boyfriend will drive me around town to show me things like where he went to elementary school.

My Upcoming Vacation, Illustrated via Beyoncé Gifs


And we'll visit his little brother, Solange.

My Upcoming Vacation, Illustrated via Beyoncé Gifs


We'll go to a lake.

My Upcoming Vacation, Illustrated via Beyoncé Gifs


But you can't get in the lake because it's filled with water moccasins.

My Upcoming Vacation, Illustrated via Beyoncé Gifs


I will probably lie down a lot.

My Upcoming Vacation, Illustrated via Beyoncé Gifs

My Upcoming Vacation, Illustrated via Beyoncé Gifs

My Upcoming Vacation, Illustrated via Beyoncé Gifs


And eat all their snacks.

My Upcoming Vacation, Illustrated via Beyoncé Gifs


After we leave, I will write a nice note thanking them for their hospitality.

My Upcoming Vacation, Illustrated via Beyoncé Gifs

Because that's called "manners."


Please illustrate an event of your choice via Beyoncé gifs in the comments.

[Image via AP // .gifs via BeyonceGifs.Tumblr.com]

To contact the author of this post, email caity@gawker.com.

Thief Breaks Into Woman's Car, Makes Off With $500 Stash of Sex Toys

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Thief Breaks Into Woman's Car, Makes Off With $500 Stash of Sex Toys

An Oregon woman who had $500 worth of sex toys stolen from the trunk of her sedan says she felt extremely embarrassed having to list the missing items to a police officer. So, naturally, her next stop was the local news.

"It was horrible," Chelsey Coutts told Portland's Fox affiliate KPTV. "[The officer] kind of started laughing, but he felt bad so he asked me to describe everything in detail, and it was just horrible."

Coutts, one of several victims who have had their car broken into by the same thief, claims she spent months purchasing the sex toys for a bachelorette party, and was keeping them in the trunk so her two children wouldn't find them.

"I've been storing it in my trunk because I have two little ones and didn't want them to see all the dirty things in there," she said. "Lots of toys, blow-up items, all kinds of goodies."

Among the lifted toys: A 4-foot inflatable penis and some "penis straws."

The bachelorette party's guest of honor, Haleigh Kirby, said she was heartbroken by the incident, noting that Coutts has "worked so hard for so long" and has "done a really good job" putting the whole thing together.

The two shared the sad news with their Facebook friends, and several have happily donated some toys to replace those that were taken.

[screengrab via Fox 12]


Jezebel If Comedy Has No Lady Problem, Why Am I Getting So Many Rape Threats?

Stop Using the Word "Derp"

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Stop Using the Word "Derp"

The word "derp" appeared today on the websites of Business Insider, New York Magazine, and The New York Times—in a post by Nobel prize-winning economist Paul Krugman. This is a good sign that we should stop using it.

"Derp," a word for "stupidity," was not a particularly funny joke when it was a throwaway line in the Matt Parker-Trey Stone BASEketball. It didn't get funnier when it crossed over to 4chan and YTMND ten years ago, especially since message-board posters managed to turn it from a nonce word into one with connotations of disability. Reddit managed, somehow, to make it less funny by using it as a name and dialogue placeholder in "Rage Comics" about social awkwardness and the Friend Zone; and over the last year or so, it has successfully made a transition into wide usage among the only community of people on the internet worse than Reddit: journalists.

Seeing journalists talk about "derpy" things and "derpitude," is a little like hearing your mom adopting slightly outdated slang. It's almost sweet. At first. In small doses. But when an entire mini-debate, like this morning's between Erick Erickson, Josh Barro and Krugman, is conducted entirely in terms of "derp," it's not cute anymore. And because it's reached the final frontier of internet communities—the web's worst practitioners—it has nowhere to go. There is no lower common denominator to adopt it and signal to political bloggers that they need to stop.

So let me tell them: Stop. Please. You sound... you sound... like idiots.

Look, one of the joys of writing about people like Erick Erickson is coming up with ways to call them stupid, and being specific about the ways in which they are stupid. Instead of "derpy," you could call Erick Erickson, for example, an idiot. Or just "dense." Or a wooden-headed bigot. Or a dough-faced simpleton, or a cretinous hack, or a thick-skulled loon, or an insipid fool. You could say that his understanding of the world is simple to the point of childishness or that his resentment toward people with a full command of language is pathetic. Or you could just say "stupid"! But please. No more "derp."

100 High Schoolers Kicked Off Flight for Not Turning Off Cell Phones

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100 High Schoolers Kicked Off Flight for Not Turning Off Cell Phones

One hundred students and eight chaperones from a Brooklyn high school were thrown off an AirTran flight from New York to Atlanta early Monday morning after the students reportedly failed to listen to warnings to sit down and turn off their cell phones.

The high school seniors, all from the Yeshiva of Flatbush in Brooklyn, ignored multiple requests from flight attendents and, eventually, the captain to take their seats and power down their electronics. After the captain's request went unheeded, the students, and their adult chaperones, were ordered to leave the plane for safety reasons, delaying the flight for over 45 minutes, according to Brad Hawkins, a spokesman for Southwest Airlines, AirTran's parent company.

“I have no indication that the flight attendants overreacted,” Hawkins told the Associated Press. “The point at which the captain comes on the PA system and says, 'You all need to sit down' is unusual.”

One witness told CNN that there were roughly 10 students in the back of the plane who repeatedly disobeyed the crew. “They were laughing at them and ignoring them," passenger Brad Rinschler said. “The pilot warned them. They did not comply. They thought it was a joke.”

“I've never seen this,” Rinschler added, noting that he takes the flight three times a month. “If they were adults, they wouldn't have even had that many chances.”

Officials at Yeshiva of Flatbush diagree with Rinscher and AirTran's account of the incident.

"We take this matter seriously and have started our own investigation," said a statement released Tuesday by Rabbi Seth Linfield, executive director of the Yeshiva of Flatbush school. "Preliminarily, it does not appear that the action taken by the flight crew was justified."

Some of the students claimed they were unfairly targeted because they are Orthodox Jews.

"They treated us like we were terrorists; I've never seen anything like it. I'm not someone to make these kinds of statements," student Jonathan Zehavi told CNN. "I think if it was a group of non-religious kids, the air stewardess wouldn't have dared to kick them off."

Several connecting flights and 12 hours later, the students made it to Atlanta, where they had plans to go white water rafting and to visit Six Flags as part of a three-day trip. Linfield, the executive director at Yeshiva of Flatbush, told CNN the students and chaperones were offered vouchers for travel on future Southwest flights.

[CNN/AP/Image via AP]

To contact the author of this post, email taylor@gawker.com

ESPN reports that Major League Baseball is preparing to suspend nearly 20 players, including superst

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ESPN reports that Major League Baseball is preparing to suspend nearly 20 players, including superstar Alex Rodriguez, for a doping scandal with ties to a Miami-area clinic. If the suspensions hold, this will be the biggest performance-enhancing drug bust in American sports history.

Texas Company Releases Breast Milk-Flavored Lollipops

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Texas Company Releases Breast Milk-Flavored Lollipops

If you're looking for a candy to remind you of (very early) childhood or if you're just into weird foods, here you go: A Texas-based candy company released a breast-milk-flavored lollipop on Monday night.

The lollipop was inspired by the company's desire to figure out what exactly it is – aside from, you know, fufilling basic nutrition roles – about breast milk that babies find so soothing.

"We felt it was our responsibility to find out just what this flavor was that could turn a screaming, furious infant into a placid, contented one," the company, Lollyphile, wrote on their website.

Upset because you're a vegan and therefore unable to relive the glory days of breast-milk? Fret not — these new pops are dairy-free and contain no actual breast-milk, according to an interview Lollyphile founder Jason Darling gave to the Los Angeles Times.

“Can you imagine armies of pumping mothers?” Darling said. “Managing that would be a logistical nightmare.”

According to Darling, the lollipops are mostly sugar. “It all kind of tastes like almond milk, but sweeter,” he said.

And, if Darling is to be believed, the lollipops, which cost $10 for four, are a hit. “We just released them last night,” he told the LA Times. “And we've already sold a few thousand dollars worth.”

[via NY Daily News/LA Times/Image via Lollyphile.com]

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