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"I Is What I Is," Paula Deen Sobs in Tense Today Interview

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Paula Deen finally sat down on Wednesday for a much anticipated Today interview, after abruptly backing out of a scheduled appearance last week. The result: A lot of tears, one racist punchline, and way too many emotions for 7:30 a.m.

While the interview ran a staggering 13 minutes, 246 years in Today Show airtime, Lauer focused primarily on Deen's past use of racial slurs and did not press her to defend her desire to throw an antebellum South themed event staffed by black men dressed like slaves. He repeatedly prodded her about the business end of things, at one point asking whether the chef agreed to come on the show merely to salvage endorsement deals, but Deen never rose to the bait. ("Let me say this before we even get into that. The main reason I am here today, Matt, is it's important to me to tell you and everyone out there what I believe...")

Deen wavered from her deposition when she told Lauer she had only used the n-word once "in all of my 66 years on earth," after she was robbed at gunpoint. (While telling the story, she grabbed and held Lauer's leg for several beats while explaining that the robbery happened after she had "gone out on a limb" for the man who later robbed her "and gotten him a loan.") She'd previously said under oath that she was "sure" she'd used it a few times since then.

Asked whether she has "any doubt" that African Americans are offended by the n-word, Deen responded that she didn't know, apparently because she's heard black people use it when speaking to one another:

"I don't know, Matt, I have asked myself that so many times. It's very distressing for me to go into my kitchens and hear what people are calling each other….I think that for this problem to be worked on that these young people are going to have to take control and start showing respect for each other and not throw that word at each other. It makes my skin crawl."

The most memorable part of the interview was, without a doubt, the disturbing emotional climax in which Deen, choking back tears, addressed the camera and invited those without sin to "pick up that stone and throw it so hard at my head that it kills me." She concluded the brief rave, unbelievably, with the punchline of a racist joke.

"If there's anyone out there that has never said something that they wished they could take back. If you're out there, please pick up that stone and throw it so hard at my head that it kills me. Please. I want to meet you. I is what I is and I'm not changing."

(Here's the original joke.)

Later, when Matt attempted to end the interview and throw the video to commercial, Deen continued talking, visiting once more the death-by-rock motif.

"If you've never sinned … pick up that rock, pick up that boulder and hit me as hard as you can."

And that's pretty much how the creepy, weepy sit-down wrapped up. The next segment was a fun interview on the plaza with Steve Carrell for Despicable Me 2.

To contact the author of this post, email caity@gawker.com.


Supreme Court Strikes Down DOMA, Allows Gay Marriage in California

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Supreme Court Strikes Down DOMA, Allows Gay Marriage in California

In a pair of rulings released this morning, the Supreme Court held that the federal Defense of Marriage Act is unconstitutional, and dismissed the Prop. 8 appeal—leaving the door open for gay marriage in California.

In a reportedly very broad 5-4 decision on United States vs. Windsor, the liberal wing of the court and Justice Kennedy—who wrote the opinion—struck down DOMA on the grounds that it violates the Fifth Amendment, depriving a class of persons from their equal liberty.

Justices Roberts and Scalia, both objecting on grounds of jurisdiction, wrote separate dissents; Scalia was joined by Thomas and in part by Roberts. Alito wrote a third dissent, joined in part by Thomas.

In the other big marriage equality case, Hollingsworth v. Perry, another 5-4 majority, this time the liberal wing and Chief Justice Roberts, ruled that the plaintiffs in the case—who were appealing a California trial-court decision striking down the anti-gay marriage Proposition 8—lacked standing, sending the case back to the Ninth Circuit. Essentially, like Monday's Affirmative Action decision, a punt, the decision allows gay marriages to continue in California.

The DOMA case had been brought by Edith Windsor, whose wife Thea Speyer—they were marred in Toronto in 2007—died in 2009. Windsor was required to pay federal taxes on inheriting Speyer's estate; had their marriage been recognized by the federal government, she would have none. This gave her the standing to challenge DOMA's constitutionality. Here they are together, in old photos from the documentary A Very Long Engagement.

Supreme Court Strikes Down DOMA, Allows Gay Marriage in California

Supreme Court Strikes Down DOMA, Allows Gay Marriage in California

Supreme Court Strikes Down DOMA, Allows Gay Marriage in California

From the end of Kennedy's opinion:

The liberty protected by the Fifth Amendment’s Due Process Clause contains within it the prohibition against denying to any person the equal protection of the laws. [...] While the Fifth Amendment itself withdraws from Government the power to degrade or demean in the way this law does, the equal protection guarantee of the Fourteenth Amendment makes that Fifth Amendment right all the more specific and all the better understood and preserved.

The class to which DOMA directs its restrictions and restraints are those persons who are joined in same-sex marriages made lawful by the State. DOMA singles out a class of persons deemed by a State entitled to recognition and protection to enhance their own liberty. It imposes a disability on the class by refusing to acknowledge a status the State finds to be dignified and proper. DOMA instructs all federal officials, and indeed all persons with whom same-sex couples interact, including their own children, that their marriage is less worthy than the marriages of others. The federal statute is invalid, for no legitimate purpose overcomes the purpose and effect to disparage and to injure those whom the State, by its marriage laws, sought to protect in personhood and dignity. By seeking to displace this protection and treating those persons as living in marriages less respected than others, the federal statute is in violation of the Fifth Amendment.

And, yes, the poor interns, in suit and tie (or dress) in D.C. summer heat, sprinting out to deliver the opinions:

Former Devo drummer Alan Myers, the human metronome who appeared on the seminal new-wave band's bigg

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Former Devo drummer Alan Myers, the human metronome who appeared on the seminal new-wave band's biggest hit "Whip It," has died from brain-cancer complications.

Georgia Makes Mother Prove She's a Woman to Get New Birth Certificate

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Georgia Makes Mother Prove She's a Woman to Get New Birth Certificate

A Georgia mother says she was shocked to discover that her 37-year-old birth certificate accidentally listed her as a man, but was truly floored when the state's Vital Records Services refused to take her on her word that she was really a woman, and demanded she submit to an invasive Pap test to prove it.

Speaking with FOX 5 News, Grimes said she needed to obtain a new birth certificate to meet the DMV's new requirements for the renewal of a driver's license.

"When I went to retrieve my birth certificate, I let her know the sex status is wrong," Grimes said. "I'm a woman, was born a woman."

But the clerk dismissed Grimes' claim, telling her she needed to provide the state with proof.

"She said I needed to go have a PAP exam, have a doctor write a note verifying you're a woman, and bring it back-– notarized," Grimes told the local Fox affiliate.

After the station contacted the Vital Records Services, their tune suddenly changed.

A director told WAGA the clerk did not follow protocol, and the incident would be investigated.

Ultimately, Grimes was issued a new birth certificate after the department looked up her son's birth certificate, confirming that she was, in fact, female.

[screengrab via My Fox Atlanta]

Silicon Valley Arts and Crafts Instructor Gets $6 Million

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Brit Morin profits, literally, from the Donald Rumsfeld school of reality: repeat something often enough and it will be so. Someone once called her the "Martha Stewart of Silicon Valley," and the label's been repeated in almost every article ever written about her, iota of talent not withstanding. Today, it pays off.

Brit + Co. sprung from Brit's ego, like Athena from the head of tie-dye Zeus, and basically organizes a panoply of DIY—the golden term—crafts projects. That is, essentially, her entire "startup" is an aggregation of recipes and elbow macaroni assemblages that other people came up with, formatted on a high-design website. Think Julia Allison's brain after a weekend of reading old magazines and a dozen strawberry jargaritas. It's hardly, in the traditional sense of the word, a "business," in that it doesn't try very hard to "make money." That doesn't matter. Brit is a sparkly brand.

Basic principles of capitalism notwithstanding, here are the ideas that Brit + Co's new investors say are worth (at least) $6.3 million:

Silicon Valley Arts and Crafts Instructor Gets $6 Million

These are multi-million dollar URLs.

These ideas might've been thrilling when they first appeared in a 1970s issue of Reader's Digest, but in 2013, it's not exactly avant garde. Or even particularly interesting. And besides, there's no real need for a handpicked collection of "Blinged Out Friendship Bracelets," or "Cookies ‘n’ Cream Cupcakes," because that's what's so great about Pinterest, right? Or, say, thousands of other Tumblrs that operate on zero budget. There's an entire universe of this stuff that runs itself without the need for capital.

But that doesn't matter—spinning millions out of glue gun projects is the ultimate DIY.

Here is Edith Windsor learning that her challenge to DOMA was successful.

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Here is Edith Windsor learning that her challenge to DOMA was successful. She then immediately called a friend and said: “Please get married right away!”

Here's a 58-Page Handbook for Some Dudes' 'Epic July 4th Trip to Ptown!'

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Here's a 58-Page Handbook for Some Dudes' 'Epic July 4th Trip to Ptown!'

The summer is here, and that means it's time for thousands of affluent east coast party animals to pack up and head to the rented beach house in Provincetown for the annual 4th of July PARTY WEEK. Are all you guys ready to "have a blast this summer with another epic July 4th trip to Ptown?" Great! Step one: read this 58-page PDF document!

This amazing cultural artifact of our modern world was sent around to a group of about a dozen self-proclaimed "DC Boys" who are renting two houses in Ptown and preparing to par-tay. We've removed the names of the participants, but these DC Boys include employees of tech companies, law firms, government agencies, and consulting firms— including multiple current and former employees of Booz Allen Hamilton, making them, technically, colleagues of Edward Snowden (fun fact). When you choose to vacation with a bunch of DC consultants, you get a 58-page PDF before you go. (Some pages have been redacted here.) STEP ONE FOR VACATION FUN: "Read this .pdf deck. Read the whole thing. It has key info that you need to know."

What sorts of things do you really "need to know," before you go to your beach house for a week with a bunch of dudes? Well, among other things:

- How to use Paypal, to pay for your trip.

- How to rent a bike.

- "Download the GroupMe App for your phone, as we will use it for the trip to communicate amongst the house group."

- What people in Ptown do during each part of the day. For example, "Morning is usually a time for breakfast / lunch / brunch, either at home or one of the restaurants."

- "Ptwon Terminology." For example, "Dick Dock: The dock underneath the pool patio at the Boatslip Resort Motel (where Tea Dance is held) is known as the Dick Dock
• This is the “place of last resort” for some really scary elements of society, and a lot of unsafe behavior, drugs, etc.
• The only creatures I’ve seen come back from here look like the monster from 'Goonies'"

- Fifteen photos of the rented houses, and satellite images of their locations.

- What to pack for each portion of the day. For example, "Morning Workout: If you’re working out in the morning, you’ll need suitable attire, remembering that it’s not just fitness, but you’re seeing everyone you know there in the process."

- "Personal Security & Safety Tips." ("Hide your cash.")

- House Rules, "a basic set of guiding principles for the trip." For example, "For a variety of reasons (personal preference, security clearances, legal concerns, etc.), openly possessing or using drugs in the house places everyone at risk. If you want to use them, use them discreetly or elsewhere... especially if they leave a 'smoky' smell that can get us in trouble with the house."

- Bios of each and every guy attending this funfest. (Redacted! Sorry.)

- And much, much, much fucking more.

I would personally rather be stuck on a boat for a week with the world's most pompous Republicans than go on a beach vacation that required a 58-page PDF guide. But different strokes, etc. The full guide (minus the identities) is below.

Provincetown3 (PDF)
Provincetown3 (Text)

Discuss: Let Us Know What Do the Gay Marriage Decisions Mean to You

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Discuss: Let Us Know What Do the Gay Marriage Decisions Mean to You

Are you in California? Are you married to a same-sex partner? If so, how will today's Supreme Court decisions on gay marriage will affect your life? Head into comments to let Gawker readers know.


Teen Faces Years in Prison for 'Sarcastic Comment' He Made on Facebook

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Teen Faces Years in Prison for 'Sarcastic Comment' He Made on Facebook

A Texas teen has been jailed since late March for what his father says was just a dumb joke he posted on Facebook.

Justin Carter, then 18, and a friend were arguing with a third person about the online video game League of Legends, when Justin made an offhand comment about shooting up a school.

"Someone had said something to the effect of 'Oh you're insane, you're crazy, you're messed up in the head,’ to which he replied 'Oh yeah, I'm real messed up in the head, I'm going to go shoot up a school full of kids and eat their still, beating hearts,'" recalled Justin's dad Jack. "The next two lines were lol and jk."

But an unidentified woman in Canada who saw Justin's comment didn't realize it was supposed to be tongue in cheek, and tracked down the teen's address using Google.

After noticing that he happened to live near an elementary school, the "concerned citizen" immediately called the cops.

Justin was subsequently arrested and charged with making a terroristic threat — a crime punishable by up to eight years in prison.

"These people are serious. They really want my son to go away to jail for a sarcastic comment that he made," Jack told KVUE.

A search of Justin's Austin home turned up no weapons.

The teen's family has since started a petition to raise awareness of his predicament, and call for a thorough review of terroristic threat laws.

"Justin was the kind of kid who didn't read the newspaper. He didn't watch television. He wasn't aware of current events," said Jack. "These kids, they don't realize what they're doing. They don't understand the implications. They don't understand public space."

[H/T: Opposing Views, screengrab via KVUE]

'Star Witness' to Zimmerman's Defense: 'That's Real Retarded, Sir.'

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According to CNN, Rachel Jeantel—the friend Trayvon Martin was speaking to on the phone before he was killed—is a star (witness, at least). When asked by George Zimmerman's defense if Trayvon could have been lying about his location, she answered:

That's real retarded, sir. That's real retarded to do that, sir. Why on earth—? Trayvon did not know [Zimmerman].

Star witness, indeed.

Unrelated: This week Rachel tweeted (and deleted) a picture of her "court nails."

Gov. Perry Knocks Pro-Choice Wendy Davis: "She Was a Teen Mom"

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One day after announcing he was calling another special session of the Texas Legislature in order to try and pass a stringent abortion bill, Governor Rick Perry decided to publicly attack Wendy Davis, the state senator who successfully filibustered the bill for 13 hours on Tuesday.

Perry, a scarecrow wrapped in leather from an old couch, spoke this morning at the National Right to Life convention in Dallas, where he used some of his time there to personally target Davis. Perry said that Davis, the daughter of a single mother who then became a single mother herself before working to graduate from Harvard Law School, was a perfect example that babies born into "the worst of circumstances" can grow to lead successful lives.

In fact, even the woman who filibustered the Senate the other day was born into difficult circumstances. She was the daughter of a single woman, she was a teenage mother herself. She managed to eventually graduate from Harvard Law School and serve in the Texas senate. It is just unfortunate that she hasn’t learned from her own example that every life must be given a chance to realize its full potential and that every life matters.

Perry, who opposes abortion even in cases of rape and incest, went on to say of pro-choice activists in Texas, "[T]he louder they scream, the more we know that we are getting something done."

Update: This afternoon, Wendy Davis responded to Governor Perry's comments:

[via ThinkProgress]

Justin Bieber's Fans Say It's OK That He Punched His Own Grandma

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Jimmy Kimmel sent his intrepid Lie Witness News crew to the streets outside the Staples Center where Justin Bieber was performing to see just how blindly his fans will follow him.

"It turns out the answer is very, very blindly," said Kimmel, who tested the Beliebers' devotion to their idol by making up stuff about Bieber and asking the fans if they approved.

Among Justin's alleged antics: Peeing on the flag and punching his own grandma in the stomach during a game of cribbage.

For what it's worth, she was clearly cheating.

(BTW, if you're out of the Kimmel loop and wondering what's going on with his eye, watch this.)

[H/T: Daily Picks and Flicks]

Edith Windsor Throws A Great Party

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Edith Windsor Throws A Great Party

The NYPD blocked off Christopher Street between 6th and 7th avenues (directly in front of the historic Stonewall Inn) yesterday afternoon so that hundreds of New Yorkers had a place to celebrate SCOTUS's decision on DOMA and Prop 8. Edith Windsor, her lawyer Roberta Kaplan, and throngs of politicians, LGBTQ leaders, and religious leaders joined the celebration.

There was music and dancing, copulating unicorns, gay priests, drag queens, hustlers, and drinking in the streets—it was a gay ol' time.

Edith Windsor Throws A Great Party

Edith Windsor Throws A Great Party

Edith Windsor Throws A Great Party

Edith Windsor Throws A Great Party

Edith Windsor Throws A Great Party

Edith Windsor Throws A Great Party

Edith Windsor Throws A Great Party

Edith Windsor Throws A Great Party

Edith Windsor Throws A Great Party

Edith Windsor Throws A Great Party

Edith Windsor Throws A Great Party

Edith Windsor Throws A Great Party

Edith Windsor Throws A Great Party

Edith Windsor Throws A Great Party

Edith Windsor Throws A Great Party

Edith Windsor Throws A Great Party

Edith Windsor Throws A Great Party

Edith Windsor Throws A Great Party

Edith Windsor Throws A Great Party

Edith Windsor Throws A Great Party

Edith Windsor Throws A Great Party

Edith Windsor Throws A Great Party

Edith Windsor Throws A Great Party

Edith Windsor Throws A Great Party

Edith Windsor Throws A Great Party

Edith Windsor Throws A Great Party

Edith Windsor Throws A Great Party

Edith Windsor Throws A Great Party

Edith Windsor Throws A Great Party

Edith Windsor Throws A Great Party

Edith Windsor Throws A Great Party

Edith Windsor Throws A Great Party

Edith Windsor Throws A Great Party

Edith Windsor Throws A Great Party

Edith Windsor Throws A Great Party

Edith Windsor Throws A Great Party

Edith Windsor Throws A Great Party

Edith Windsor Throws A Great Party

[Images by Victor G. Jeffreys II]

"From 2008 to 2011, only 17% of court-ordered claims for back pay and labor law penalties were colle

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"From 2008 to 2011, only 17% of court-ordered claims for back pay and labor law penalties were collected" by low-wage workers in California. Almost everyone got screwed by the boss.

Will You White Crackers Please Stop Whining for the Love of God

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Will You White Crackers Please Stop Whining for the Love of God

The tragic shooting death of Trayvon Martin continues to be one of America's richest sources of tangentially-related arguments. The latest: Is "cracker" a "racial" term? The correct answer: Shut up, cracker.

In the trial of George Zimmerman, the Florida man accused of murdering Trayvon Martin, witness Rachel Jeantel testified that Martin told her that a "creepy-ass cracker" (Zimmerman) was following him shortly before he was killed. Under grilling from Zimmerman's attorney, Jeantel said that she did not think that "cracker" was a "racial" remark, or an offensive one, or, really, a big deal. Now, the question of whether or not "cracker" is "racial" is being reported on as an issue of great importance. As a born-and-raised Southerner— and a cracker— I feel qualified to offer some insight to those who may be confused by this thorny sociological quandary.

Is "cracker" a "racial" term? Yes, it means "white person." Therefore it is "racial."

Is "cracker" an offensive term? Well, let's put it this way: if you are the type of white person who is greatly offended by being called a "cracker," you can always take heart in the knowledge that the Confederacy went down fighting bravely. They'll never take that away from you, by god.

Is "cracker" a real live racial slur, just as despicable as all the other racial slurs? A racial slur? Sure, technically speaking. A real racial slur? Sadly, no. There are no good racial slurs for white people. Despite the fact that white Americans have committed far more atrocities against the other races of the world than all of those races combined have committed against white people, there is no one single slur in popular usage that can really cut a white person to their soft, marshmallowy core. It's tragic, really. A corollary of this fact is the fact that white people who complain loudly about "racial slurs" like "cracker" are "pussies."

Does the philosophical question of whether or not "cracker" is a "racial" term have any real bearing whatsoever on whether or not Trayvon Martin deserved to be shot and killed? No.

Hey, how come nobody makes a big deal when a black person says "cracker," but I lose all my endorsement deals just for calling black people.... Hold it right there, whitey. It boggles the mind to know that this question is still so fervently discussed in internet comment sections and in the stands of Ole Miss football games, and yet is one of the single most god damn ignorant questions that could ever be formulated by a white resident of the United States of America. The reason you're looking for, cracker, is "the history of the United States of America." Look it up. You can figure it out if you really, really try. I mean, lord almighty, you'd think that this whole discussion would have been laid to rest years ago just by Chris Rock routines alone, but no. Fucking whiny crackers will not stop whining like little babies no matter how fucking good they have it.

Shut up, nilla.

[Image via Shutterstock]


Redskins' Indian-Chief Defender: Not A Chief, Probably Not Indian

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Redskins' Indian-Chief Defender: Not A Chief, Probably Not Indian

Lately, the Washington Redskins are having a harder time defending the team's name than the rest of the NFC East had defending the read-option last season. One of the more entertaining parts of Redskins owner Dan Snyder's effort has been his ongoing Indians-love-"Redskins" campaign, whereby the team calls attention to any high schools in tribal areas that don't hate the name, and to any Indian officials who are OK with it, too.

And perhaps the high point of this came with the May 3 broadcast of the Snyder-produced TV show Redskins Nation. The program featured a guest introduced as Chief Dodson, who was described in a press release written up by the Redskins PR department after the taping as "a full-blooded American Inuit chief originally from the Aleutian Tribes of Alaska" who "represents more than 700 remaining tribe members."

Dodson was an enthusiastic and earnest pitchman for the team's name, and he went further than management could have hoped—maybe too far, as we'll see. Dodson told the show's host, Redskins broadcasting boss Larry Michael, that his deceased father, Nigel Lindsay, was also a chief. Dodson said he felt compelled to step forward because he and his family were upset that "people are speaking for Native Americans that aren't Native American."

"Being a full-blooded Indian with my whole family behind me, we had a big problem with some of the things that were coming out [in the debate over the name]," he said. "I think they were basically saying that we were offended, our people were offended, and they were misrepresenting the Native American nation. We don't have a problem with [the name] at all—in fact we're honored. We're quite honored."

Dodson added that all the Indians he knows are fine with "redskins" even in a non-football context.

"It's actually a term of endearment that we would refer to each other as," Dodson said. "When we were on the reservation, we'd call each other, 'Hey, what's up, redskin?' We'd nickname it and call each other 'Skins.' We respected each other with that term. … It's not degrading in one bit."

Dodson got in a big pitch for his employer, Charley's Crane Service, a tow company headquartered in Landover, Md., very close to FedEx Field. (The tow company could use a plug: The Better Business Bureau has given Charley’s Crane Service a grade of F because of consumer complaints and how they were handled.) And then Dodson went on to gush about the team's fight song, "Hail to the Redskins."

"That's a respectful thing," he told the show host. "A lot of people think that's a gimmick or a joke, a good song, but that's a respectful thing, and it's another thing that helps me appreciate everything you're doing." (The original version of "Hail to the Redskins" actually included a verse that contains what to the lay ear sure sounds like a shoo-in for the most racially offensive lyrics in the history of NFL fight songs: "Scalp 'em, swamp 'em! We will take 'em! Big score! / Read 'em, weep 'em! Touchdown! We want heap more!" Though stories differ on when the offensive lyric was removed, one account has team president Edward Bennett Williams ordering the song's scrubbing in the 1970s, during an earlier anti-name wave.)

Just days after Dodson's stint on his infomercial, Snyder, perhaps emboldened, gave USA Today a swaggering interview that included his most dogmatic comments on the name issue yet: "We'll never change the name," Snyder said. "It's that simple: NEVER—you can use caps."

The NFL's commissioner, trying to score points with Congress, leaned on the Redskins' too-good-to-be-true spokesmodel, too. On June 5, Roger Goodell wrote to the co-chairs of the Congressional Native American Caucus, whose members had been urging the team to change its name. On NFL letterhead, the league boss alleged that "Redskins" was "a unifying force that stands for strength, courage, pride and respect."

"Importantly, this positive meaning is shared by the overwhelming majority of football fans and Americans generally, including Native Americans," Goodell wrote. And as Exhibit A, Goodell cited the support of "Chief Steven (sic) Dodson," whom Goodell identified as "an American Inuit chief and resident of Prince Georges (sic) County, Maryland."

Alas, there's a lot of evidence that Chief Dodson—whose real name is Stephen D. Dodson—ain't the perfect pitchman that Snyder and Goodell want him to be. It turns out that the "full-blooded American Inuit chief" is neither a full-blooded American Inuit nor a chief in any formal sense of the term.

Let's start with that last part. Apparently nobody but Dodson says Dodson's really a chief. The work shirt from Charley's Crane Services that Dodson wore on Redskins Nation had "Chief Dodson" stitched into it alongside the company's name. But the only references I could find to Dodson and "Chief" that predate his appearance as "Redskin"-lovin' aboriginal royalty appeared in court records in Maryland. Case files from some of Stephen D. Dodson's scrapes with the law—involving theft, paternity, and domestic violence matters—have "Chief" listed as one of the defendant's AKAs.

When Indian Country Today ran a story about the Redskins Nation appearance, a commenter purporting to be Dodson's relative said that Dodson's native bona fides had been exaggerated. The commenter said Dodson is not a full-blooded member of any tribe and is in fact one-quarter Aleut, not Inuit. And "Chief"? "[T]hat was his nickname," the commenter wrote.

Carla Brueshaber, who identified herself as Dodson's sister, said she had nothing to do with the Indian Country Today comment, but she confirmed that Dodson wasn't as advertised on the Redskins program. "No, he's not a chief, not technically. It's a nickname," said Brueshaber, now living in Bellefontaine, Ohio, where Dodson went to high school, according to his 2000 wedding announcement in the Morning Call of Allentown, Pa.

Asked why she thought Dodson was being portrayed by the Redskins and the NFL as an authentic Indian chief, Brueshaber said, "Somebody made a mistake and called him [Chief]. The Redskins went full steam ahead with it. They didn't check it because it was helping them."

The description of him used by the Redskins—"a full-blooded American Inuit chief originally from the Aleutian Tribes of Alaska"—rings false to folks who've studied the native peoples of that state.

"That is an archaic and incorrect expression: Aleut people and Inuit people are quite distinct and haven't had a common ancestor for at least 6,000 years," says Stephen Loring, an anthropologist with the Smithsonian Institute specializing in Arctic and subarctic archaeology and ethnohistory. "Somebody would say they are Aleut, or they would say they are Inuit."

The phrase "full-blooded American Inuit chief originally from the Aleutian Tribes of Alaska," Loring added, is "incorrect terminology. It doesn't make sense."

What's more, both Kelly Eningowuk, executive director of the Inuit Circumpolar Council-Alaska, an Inuit group, and Larry Merculieff, a prominent advocate for Aleut issues in Alaska, said "Chief" isn't a designation any of their constituents would use now. It certainly wouldn't be used by someone who's not living among Inuits or Aleuts. Both said such a title, if granted at all, would be conferred only upon individuals who were elected by people in their village. That would be tough in Bellefontaine (which, according to the 2010 U.S. Census, had a Native American population of 0.2 percent) or Prince George's County (0.5 percent).

"I don't know anybody out of state who describes themselves [as a chief]," Merculieff said.

Nor does Dodson’s self-description on the Redskins show as "a full-blooded Indian" pass the smell test.

"Aleuts do not call themselves 'Indian,'" Merculieff said. "We are native Alaskans, but not Indian."

And Inuits?

"Inuits don't call themselves 'Indian,'" said Eningowuk.

Eningowuk said she watched Dodson's performance online and laughed at some of his references to native culture. "I heard him say that [he and his family] go to pow wows? That’s not Aleut or inuit," she said. "And he talks about living on a reservation of some sort. There are no Inuit or Aleut reservations in Alaska."

What of Dodson's contention that Aleuts and/or Inuits regularly use "redskin" as a term of endearment? "I have never called anybody 'redskin,'" Eningowuk said. "Nobody I know has ever called me 'redskin.' I have never heard any Inuit call somebody 'redskin.'"

But Dodson isn't ready to surrender any titles just yet. When I called to ask who made him chief, he said the title was handed down by family.

"You have different type of chiefs, voted chiefs and blood chiefs," said Dodson, who identified himself as "Chief Dodson" when he returned a message left at Charley's Crane Service. "I'm the son of a chief. I'm at the shaman level, a different type of chief. You're born into it, and the shaman chooses you. The shaman chose my father. I was born into it. The Dodson family, I'm the head of that family. The chief of that family. It's not easy to explain."

An obituary for Nigel Lindsay, who died in Bellefontaine in 2000, lists "Chief" as a nickname for the deceased.

When I told him that various groups representing Inuits and Aleuts in Alaska question the description of him as a "full-blooded Inuit Chief originally of Aleutian tribes," Dodson said, "I don't get into organizational things like that. We are a people and that's what we need to focus on, instead of dealing with non-profits run by Mexicans."

Dodson said his family had authorized him to talk with only employees of the Washington Redskins about the name issue, and not with any reporters. Then Stephen D. Dodson, imperfect Redskins spokesmodel, hung up.

Oh, and about that middle initial? According to the aforementioned court filings, it stands for Dallas.

Dave McKenna is a writer in Washington D.C.

Reporter Files Report on Flood While Sitting on Shoulders of Victim

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A veteran TV reporter has been fired from his job after he filed a report from the scene of a major flood while sitting on the shoulders of a victim in an apparent bid to avoid getting his clothes wet.

Footage of Narayan Pargaien's report for News Express went viral in India earlier this week, and ultimately led to the journalist's termination after 17 years on the job.

In the clip, which News Express says never aired, Pargaien can be seen reporting on the deadly floods that have submerged the northern state of Uttarakhand, forcing the evacuation of over 100,000 people.

Pargaien later claimed that the man, whose home was destroyed by floodwaters, offered to carry him on his shoulders, but News Express said in a statement that Pargaien should have declined.

"[S]uch an act by the reporter is a Grave misconduct which goes against [the] cultural values of our Channel," the statement read.

Cultural values are precisely the reason why this video has generated such strong feedback from viewers

With over 70 percent of India's population forced to get by on less than $2 a day [pdf], the rift between the upper and lower classes grows more prominent with each slight.

Pargaien appears to have signed his own pink slip when he patted himself on the back after the report for having made the man's day.

"His house was in a miserable condition and he had lost a lot in the flood, and was left with very little food and water," Pargaien told local media site News Laundry. "We helped him with some food and some money and he was grateful to us and wanted to show me some respect, as it was the first time someone of my level had visited his house."

[H/T: WorldViews]

Detroit, Punk, and A Band Called Death

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Detroit, Punk, and A Band Called Death

Mark Covino and Jeff Howlett's documentary, out on Friday, is simply titled A Band Called Death. It provides a thorough biography of an under-appreciated protopunk garage band that existed on the cusp of punk. They were called Death, obviously. The Detroit band, founded in 1971 by three brothers—David Hackney (guitar), Dannis Hackney (drums) and Bobby Hackney (bass, vocals)—was disbanded in 1977, but managed to record an album's worth of songs in demo sessions. When the band was rediscovered by record collectors, punk obsessives, and underground DJs in the 2000s, the Hackneys were hailed as visionaries.

Hearing Death for the first time, it's easy to see what had everyone thrilled and excited. It's genuine, 1970s punk without sounding tired, over-played, or over-imitated. The tempo is aggressive, the sound pleasantly jarring, the lyrics repetitive, catchy, and uncomplicated. When punk experts and critics started to learn about the existence of Death, they wondered if that Death might not only be the first black punk band, but perhaps the first punk band ever. "The Ramones got all the glory for what this is right here," Questlove says in the documentary, "this is the Ramones two years earlier."

Detroit, Punk, and A Band Called Death

But this music, appealing and even conventional now, flopped in early 1970s Detroit. Studio executives who met with Death in the 1970s and considered signing them said that the world wasn't prepared for their sound. If you were a black musician in Detroit at the time, you were expected to be motown or R&B. Not rock, and certainly not a pioneering iteration of rock.

The documentary does a decent job of communicating why Death failed at first; it does an even better job showing the thrill of discovering the band. When people— everyone from record collectors, punk geeks, musicians, studio executives, and even Bobby Hackney's sons— recount their discovery of Death, they grow wide-eyed with revelation, disbelief, excitement, and admiration.

The brother's first band was called Rock Fire Funk Express, because one of the brothers said they weren't "sure if they wanted to be rock or funk, but we wanted to keep going." They aimed to sound like a combination of the Who and Jimi Hendrix. The Hackneys report that their neighbors were less enamored with sound. Constant complaints from neighbors and the police prompted their brilliant single "Keep on Knocking." This resistance from their community and record studios fueled their creativity, said Bobby, "that is pure anger, we are fighting… to maintain our identity."

The Hackneys changed their name from Rock Fire Funk Express to Death just after their father was killed by a drunk driver. Dannis said that their conceptual leader, David, "wanted to put a positive spin on death, that it's like birth." While the name Death now seems mundane even, in the early 1970s, this name cost them a record deal. Groovesville's Don Davis wanted to sign the band as long as they gave up the name. David refused. Dannis said he would have changed the name in a second, but he respected David's vision. "He inspired us because we had the chance to change the name. I think David was the prime example of what the Lord said: 'What does it profit a man to gain the whole world and to lose his soul,'" says Bobby tearfully, "and David's music was his soul and he never wavered on it."

Detroit, Punk, and A Band Called Death

Death self-released 500 copies of a single on their label Tryangle, including the songs "Politicians in My Eyes" and "Keep on Knocking." But after failing to reach an audience, the band disbanded in the 1980s. The brothers moved to Vermont, where Dannis and Bobby married and had families. David moved back to Detroit in 1982 and died of lung cancer in 2000. Just a few years later, Death was rediscovered.

By 2008, the 45 was selling for $1000 on eBay. Then Bobby's son heard about a protopunk band from a friend going to underground DJ sessions in California and listened to them. When he heard his father's voice, he was shocked. "I can't believe I'm listening to the best rock and roll I've ever heard," said Bobby Hackney Jr. "and I'm the only one that knows about it."

Bobby's sons formed a Death cover band called Rough Francis, named in honor of their uncle David's last musical effort. In March 12, 2009, the New York Times featured a huge spread devoted to Death and the label Drag City that released all seven Death songs from the 1974 sessions for the first time. In September of 2009 Death reformed with Bobbie Duncan as the guitarist, though Dannis and Bobby considered refusing to regroup without David. After playing a small tour (including Joey Ramone's birthday party), Dannis and Bobby are still mourning David, but they indicate the playing and perpetuating David's musical vision is the best tribute to him.

As a documentary, A Band Called Death could use a little of Death's energy and urgency. It relies very much on people recounting—which is most likely due to a dearth of archival footage. Despite a labored start, A Band Called Death picks up with the excitement of the discovery in recent years (a structure following the subject's model, without the raw inspiration).

The lasting image of A Band Called Death, beautifully marks Death's influence. It occurs when Bobby Hackey's two sons play Death songs in their new band in a small concert venue. The image of Bobby Hackney laughing and crying as he watches his songs play this vicious, fuck-it punk is an astoundingly sweet and complicated and a perfect symbol of a new life for the band.

Detroit, Punk, and A Band Called DeathA Band Called Death will hit theaters in limited release June 28 and is available for streaming and digital download at the Drafthouse Films website.

To contact the author of this post, email maggie@gawker.com.

What's the Deal with the Immigration Reform Bill? A Guide

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What's the Deal with the Immigration Reform Bill? A Guide

A comprehensive immigration reform bill just passed through the Senate, and you need to know what's in it (so you can most effectively fight with your old neighbor on Facebook). Here's your easy-to-understand guide to the Senate's bill and the current status of immigration reform.

What's going on with immigration reform?

I'm glad you asked! After months of debate, wrangling, and amendments, senators just passed S.744, the "Border Security, Economic Opportunity, and Immigration Modernization Act," their comprehensive immigration reform law, by a 68-32 margin.

So now... immigration is reformed?

No, not quite. After the Senate, the House of Representatives has to pass the bill—or a modified version of it that can be reconciled with the Senate's—after which the president can sign off on it.

So what does the Senate bill consist of, then?

When I say "comprehensive," I mean it: The bill has four sections, dealing with border security, enforcement, immigrant visas, and nonimmigrant visas.

Let's start with border security, then.

Okay. If the Senate bill passes through the legislative process unchanged (unlikely with respect to border security in particular), Secretary of Homeland Security Janet Napolitano will be required to submit a two border security plans, called the "Southern Border Fencing Strategy" and the "Comprehensive Southern Border Security Strategy," through which at least $3 billion will be spent on infrastructure and personnel—including building new fences, bases, and stations; increasing surveillance and deploying more unmanned drones; and hiring thousands of new Customs and Border Protection officers.

Both plans have a common goal: A 90 percent success rate at stopping border crossings and comprehensive round-the-clock surveillance. If neither met, a bipartisan Southern Border Security Commission will be created to devise new recommendations. (More drones! More guards! Give the guards lasers! And big pit, and at the bottom of the pit, there are attack dogs!)

And you said this is different from the enforcement component?

Enforcement is a whole other section of the bill, dealing with how the U.S. handles immigrants (both documented and un-) once they're within the country. The big change has to do with verification of legal immigration statuses: American businesses—phased in over a five-year period—will be required to use an expanded version of the E-Verify system to confirm that new hires are legally allowed to work in the U.S.

The bill also expands protections for victims of human trafficking, offering a visa to people who have been abused or enslaved; eliminates the one-year-after-arrival deadline for asylum applications; and provides some protections for immigrants engaged in removal proceedings (such as limiting solitary confinement and guaranteeing representation for some vulnerable classes of immigrants).

What about citizenship for the immigrants who are already here? Is that part of the immigrant visas section?

Yes! Title II, Immigrant Visas, is the big-deal section in terms of the actual most important and pressing issue, which isn't "border security" but rather providing current undocumented immigrants with a path to citizenship.

Essentially, the bill would allow undocumented immigrants who have been in the U.S. since before 2012—and who are also in good standing with law—to apply for a newly created status, "Registered Provisional Immigrant," which is good for six years, at which point it can be renewed for another six. After ten years as an RPI, and provided they meet certain requirements, immigrants can apply for Lawful Permanent Residence, or a green card; after three years with a green card, they may apply for citizenship.

This means a 13-year path to citizenship for most undocumented immigrants. There will be fast-track exceptions for two groups: those who entered the U.S. before they turned 16, who, in line with the long-debated DREAM Act, only need five years of RPI status, plus two years of college or four years of military service, to apply for a green card, at which point they can immediately apply for citizenship; and agricultural workers, who, provided they stay in agricultural work, can apply for a special "blue card" that would allow for them to apply for green cards after only five years, and citizenship after five years with a green card.

In addition to the new path-to-citizenship provisions, the bill would overhaul the legal immigration process, providing for a "point system" that would award "points" to applicants based on their skills, education, employment history, age, and family ties, among other factors (talk about gamification!). Finally, employment-based immigration would be expanded, removing the cap on workers from India and China, and providing an easier path for immigrants with advanced STEM degrees from U.S. universities.

Okay, and, finally, what's the deal with "nonimmigrant visas"?

These are, generally speaking, visas for people who want to come to the U.S. to work or study, but not permanently. For highly skilled workers, especially those in STEM fields, the bill will raise the visa cap from 65,000 to a figure over 100,000 that will be set yearly by taking into account market demand and unemployment numbers.

Even more radically, S.744 would create a several new categories of nonimmigrant visa. Most important of these is the W, for less-skilled, non-seasonal, nonagricultural workers—in general, people working in custodial, hospitality, construction and service fields. Workers with a W—good for three years and renewable for an additional three—could work for any employer registered with the program, and even leave one employer for another without jeopardizing their visa status. The cap for the W will, like other nonimmigrant visas, fluctuate depending on market conditions, and employers who wish to hire W employees will have to recruit U.S. workers and demonstrate that their positions cannot be filled by U.S. workers.

Finally, there's a new "investor visa" for entrepreneurs and "job creators." All of the nonimmigrant visas offer opportunities to move toward eventual lawful permanent residence status.

That's everything, right? Anything missing?

I mean, broadly speaking, yeah, that's everything. If you want something that goes more in depth but don't feel like reading the law itself, the Immigration Policy Center has a long plain-English summary here.

Seems like a pretty good bill.

Yeah! I mean, the border security stuff is expensive and useless, but it's the price you pay to get Republicans on board.

So what's next, now that it's passed the Senate?

The House of Representatives. And, possibly, death.

The bill might die?

Yes. The bipartisan "Gang of Eight" that cobbled the bill together in the Senate spent a lot of time trying to get a proposal that would garner 70 votes—10 more than it'd need to avoid a filibuster (and 19 more than it should need under basic democratic principles)—in the hopes that it would signal to the House that the bill had broad bipartisan support and the House shouldn't mess with it too much.

Unfortunately the House didn't seem to read the signal, and Republican leaders have been loudly proclaiming their lack of interest in picking up the immigration ball. (Just as they did with the last immigration bill in 2006, which died in the House.) The House is more right-wing, generally speaking, and where Republican Senators—focused on the long game of a changing electorate—want to prove to Latino voters that Republicans aren't racist, Republican Congressmen—focused on the short game of getting elected by right-wing districts—are trying to prove to terrified white voters that Republicans are.

Is there any way it will pass through the House?

It probably has enough votes to pass, between moderate Republicans and Democrats. But Speaker John Boehner is unlikely to bring it to a vote when the majority of his caucus is against it. So... call your congressperson, I guess. Every day.

NPR call-in program Talk of the Nation, which began broadcasting in 1991, aired its last episode tod

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