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World's Biggest Asshole Robs Car Crash Victim Instead Of Rescuing Her

An unidentified man stole up to $100 from a woman trapped in her car after her Toyota collided with an SUV. The thief could have helped her, but he robbed her instead.

Crossing Broad brings us video of Riley Cooper, the guy who is supposed to replace the injured Jeremy Maclin as the Eagles' No. 2 wide receiver, being a racist hillbilly at a Kenny Chesney concert.

So here's an actual thing: The latest film in the Jackass franchise is a scripted comedy co-penned by Spike Jonze that features real people getting pranked by Johnny Knoxville in an old man costume.

New Hampshire Man Shoots Self in Leg While Sleepwalking

Late Monday night, a man in Concord, New Hampshire awoke in a panic, startled by a dream he'd had in which he'd heard a loud gunshot. He then realized he was standing in the middle of his kitchen, holding a gun, and bleeding from one of his knees.

Rob Lowe and Rashida Jones are leaving Parks and Recreation next season. Jones and Lowe will exit the show in the season's 13th episode, which is set to air in February.

#BREAKING: MLB prepared to suspend Alex Rodriguez for life http://t.co/2EEXcovQdY
— USA TODAY (@USATODAY) July 31, 2013

Scientists Now Growing Teeth From Urine

Scientists in China have found a way to grow teeth from human urine.

Looks like the boycotts didn't work: the Rolling Stone issue featuring Dzhokhar Tsarnaev on its cover was a hit. The “Boston Bomber” issue sold 13,332 copies in retail stores, more than double the magazine's average sales from last year.

Cleveland Kidnapping Victims Kept Diaries Detailing Horrific Abuse

According to court documents filed in Cleveland on Wednesday, the three young women abducted and tortured by Ariel Castro kept a diary detailing their years of captivity.

After pleading guilty last week to hundreds of charges, including kidnapping, rape, and murder, Ariel Castro, the man behind the infamous "Cleveland Horror" house, was today sentenced to life in prison.

It's Jeopardy! Kids Week, which is heartrending enough with the amount of pressure put on small children—there's more than a little bit of the Roman Arena in tuning in to watch tiny dreams be crushed. But last night's Final Jeopardy was a shitshow from top to bottom.

Here is footage of artist Andy Gollub body-painting naked people on 53rd St., and Broadway. He made somebody's foreskin silver, if you're into that sort of thing.

Why Did You Endorse Weiner, Jimmy "Rent Is Too Damn High" McMillan?

This morning, perennial candidate Jimmy McMillan—best known for his formidable facial hair and trademark catch phrase-cum-political party—announced his endorsement for beleaguered mayoral candidate Anthony Weiner after a chance encounter at an IHOP in Harlem.

Sean Parker's Wedding: Tackier Than We Ever Dreamt

Ex-Facebook president, drug enthusiast, and High Elf of The Redwoods Sean Parker is a private man—he just wanted to marry his beautiful cosplaying fiancee in peace, along with hundreds of their rich and powerful friends. Oh, and a Vanity Fair writer, who detailed the whole thing.

Digital Media Surpasses TV as America's Favorite Drug

America is changing. People these days no longer fly Old Glory, eat apple pie, or take their date a-courtin' before copulation. Instead of mom marrying dad, people are marrying gays, or horses. And our national love affair with TV is being replace by blippity-bloopity-interdigital thingamajiggery.

iPhone Theft Victim Spoils Perfectly Good Revenge by Being a Racist

A woman who had her phone stolen while vacationing in Ibiza was given an excellent opportunity to name and shame her victim, but then went and kinda spoiled it by being sorta racist.

"I had a tail when I was born. It was a tiny tail, about a quarter of an inch, then they chopped it off and stole my tail. That was when I was little. I'm really sad about that story." - Ke$ha, animal

In November 2012, Liverpool resident Graham Hughes successfully became the first person to ever visit all United Nations member states without flying.

Here is a brilliantly executed reminder that Guantanamo Bay is still down there, festering.

Motorola: Girls Will Love Our New Smartphone!

There's a new Android phone, and it's very nice and pretty much just like all the other very nice ones. It's also—Motorola can't stress this enough—ovary-friendly. It'll match your Pop Rocks and pink socks!

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