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Paraguayan Bus Drivers Crucify Themselves To Try To Get Jobs Back

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Eight bus drivers in the South American nation of Paraguay have crucified themselves after being fired two months ago. They say they were let go after demanding better pay and conditions, and have remained nailed to their crosses for at least two weeks.

We've heard of tough labor negotiations before, but this one may just be the most extreme. The protesting men in the city of Luque have have also been on a hunger strike since literally having driven nails through their hands and index fingers into the wood behind them, according to CNN:

Juan Villalba is one of the crucified bus drivers. Villalba is the secretary of the Paraguayan Federation of Transportation Workers. He told Paraguayan media that his group is willing to take the protest "to the very end," regardless of the consequences. His wife, María Concepción Candia, also nailed herself to a wooden cross Wednesday to show support.

The driver's wives are taking turns being crucified in one-day rotations, according to the Telegraph. The crucifixions are part of a larger labor protest by about 50 bus drivers, though only the eight and their wives have gone to such extreme measures.

The bus company, Vanguardia, has so far offered five of the drivers their jobs back but the men say they will not give up their protest until all eight are re-hired. I'm not a medical expert, though I can't imagine having nails driven through one's hands is very conducive to things that occur in the normal operation of a bus, such as turning a key, or gripping a wheel, or waving at passing motorists.

It's a little dramatic, I suppose, but it gets the message across. What message that is, is open to interpretation. Feel free to debate it in the comments below.

H/t to Creative Accidents


Obama Is Asking Congress to OK Syria Strike

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Obama Is Asking Congress to OK Syria Strike

Obama is slowing his roll towards a "limited narrow act in Syria" by publicly requesting authorization from Congress for a military action.

BREAKING Obama to seek congressional authorization for strike on Syria delaying action. #Syria

— David Gregory (@davidgregory) August 31, 2013

Obama's "hastily organized" Rose Garden announcement follows an ongoing international debate over military intervention in the Middle Eastern country. While France has endorsed action, British lawmakers voted against it. Putin has called allegations of chemical weapon use in Syria "utter nonsense."

UN inspectors left the country early this morning for Lebanon. They are headed to the Hague, where blood and urine samples from Syrian victims, as well as soil samples, will be tested for evidence of a chemical attack.

The AP is reporting that Obama originally planned to take military action without Congressional approval but changed his mind last night.

Most of his national security advisers believed he "had the authority to act on his own," but the president changed his plan after a "lengthy discussion" with chief of staff Denis McDonough.

House Speaker John Boehner and other GOP members released a statement saying they had spoken with the president and "expect the House to consider a measure the week of September 9th."

Here is full video of Obama's Rose Garden address.

[image via AP]

We should have seen this coming.

Machines are Now Teaching Us How to be Human

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Machines are Now Teaching Us How to be Human

Time to surrender, the machines have won and the great experiment has failed: computers are now teaching humans how to be social.

An MIT team developed a program, “My Automated Conversation coacH,” or MACH, which has a computer-human face ("a dark-haired woman with steely blue eyes or a Midwestern-looking fellow with glasses") that converses with users, then rates and advises them on their ability to be human.

As you speak, the robo-coach will attentively nod its head, as if it’s hanging on your every word. “It smiles when you smile,” M. Ehsan Hoque, who led the research, said. “It gives you the feeling, ‘Hey, this software is listening to me.’”

The computer, which knows how to be human much better than you do, utilizes “arm and posture movements, facial expressions, gaze behavior, and lip synchronization," to put users at ease and provide "nonverbal listening feedback associated with rapportful interactions.”

The program analyzes user data, such as weak language, “average smile intensity”, intonation, head movements, and "other coded gestures." Then it provides evaluations.

The team's paper claims that subjects' social interactions actually "significantly improved" after using the program, according to a professional career counselor who analyzed the students before and after.

"Congratulations! You did it all by yourself! I'm just a program — you're the one in charge," the computer probably replied with modesty, batting its virtual lashes, knowing its day will soon come.

[New Yorker, image via MIT]

How Are Politicians Spending the Rest of Their Labor Day Weekend?

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How Are Politicians Spending the Rest of Their Labor Day Weekend?

Half an hour after going public and announcing that authority for any military action in Syria would lie with Congress, President Obama and Vice President Biden headed to Virginia for a round of golf.

Not that Congress is sacrificing its vacation either; Speaker John Boehner said today in a statement that the House would wait until September 9 to "consider a measure." Marco Rubio, however, is saying that members should return this week instead.

Congressional members who did not participate in Thursday's Syria conference call briefing will have an opportunity tomorrow, when the White House plans to hold in-person, classified briefings to explain the current situation.

On the State Department side, however, Secretary of State John Kerry is shifting into overdrive. Politico is reporting that he will appear on all five Sunday news programs tomorrow in a bid to compel Congress to action.

Meanwhile, Secretary of Defense Chuck Hagel just wants to carry on with his amazing Labor Day Weekend style.

[Flickr]

Luckiest man alive miraculously survives insane landslide

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Luckiest man alive miraculously survives insane landslide

This video—captured today by a car dashboard cam in Taiwan—is insane. Watch as the car ahead almost gets crushed by a landslide and then by the insanely gigantic boulder that always smashes Wyle E. Coyote. Check out the other side:

Luckiest man alive miraculously survives insane landslide

So damn lucky.

New York City Music Festival Canceled After Two Drug-Related Deaths

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New York City Music Festival Canceled After Two Drug-Related Deaths

Electric Zoo, a three-day electronic music festival in New York City, has been canceled after two attendees died and another four were hospitalized in intensive care after taking drugs at the festival.

Although causes of death have not been officially determined, both "appear to have involved the drug MDMA (ecstasy, or molly)," according to a NYC.gov press release. Last month a 21-year-old man died and dozens more were hospitalized after overdosing on molly at Paradiso, a music festival at The Gorge.

Promotors for the festival confirmed the cancelation on Twitter and said in a statement on Facebook, "The founders of Electric Zoo send our deepest condolences to the families of the two people who passed away this weekend. Because there is nothing more important to us than our patrons, we have decided in consultation with the New York City Parks Department that there will be no show today."

Popular EDM artists like Armin Van Buuren, Sebastian Ingrosso, Steve Aoki, Zedd and Diplo — who had hoped to break the world record for twerking at the festival — were all scheduled to perform today.

While ecstasy use has long gone hand in hand with electronic music, molly, supposedly a form of "pure" MDMA, is the most mainstream its ever been.

From New York Times style section pieces to Madonna's MDNA tour (the singer also kicked off a firestorm when she joined Avicii at Ultra, Miami's version of Electric Zoo, and asked the crowd if they had seen Molly), the drug is peaking in pop culture.

And it's not quite your parents' brown acid, either. According to Miami police, although molly is supposed to be "pure" MDMA, they commonly find it's actually methylone, a chemical found in bath salts.

For a great first-hand piece on today's EDM festivals, check out Rich Juzwiak's experience at last year's Electric Daisy Carnival.

[Image via Getty]

Veteran British broadcaster David Frost, who famously interviewed President Richard Nixon after his

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Veteran British broadcaster David Frost, who famously interviewed President Richard Nixon after his resignation, has died at the age of 74. He is the only journalist to have interviewed all British prime ministers between 1964 and 2007, and all U.S. presidents between 1969 and 2008.


White Supremacist Found With Guns, a Ton of Bullets, and List of Names

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White Supremacist Found With Guns, a Ton of Bullets, and List of Names

Richard Schmidt, a white supremacist living in Ohio, was found last December with 18 guns, 40,000 rounds of ammunition, and a list of prominent black and Jewish leaders in the Detroit area. When federal agents busted into his apartment, they were amazed by what they came across— they thought they were cracking down on his knock-off sports jersey racket.

Adding to the surprise of the federal investigators was that there was no legal way Schmidt should have been able to purchase any of the guns — he had served time for voluntary manslaughter for shooting a man in 1989. As part of his conviction, he had lost the legal right to buy weapons.

“I can’t tell you how he got all those guns and ammunition,” U.S. Attorney Steven Dettelbach told the Plain Dealer. “It’s not that I won’t tell you; it’s that I can’t. This is somebody who should never have had one gun, one bullet. But he had an entire arsenal.”

Schmidt most likely bought his weapons from second-hand firearm dealers, whose sales, by law, cannot be traced. While a possible massacre was avoided through some lucky policing, the loopholes that Schmidt used to arm himself, a convicted killer, still exist. As Think Progress points out, "straw purchasers" can simply sell the gun they just bought legally to someone who should never have a gun — and the federal government is not allowed to keep track of just how many guns these "straw purchasers" are buying.

Nelson Mandela Released From Hospital, But George Bush Thought He Died

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Nelson Mandela Released From Hospital, But George Bush Thought He Died

Nelson Mandela, former South African president and global anti-oppression icon, has been released from a hospital in Pretoria where he has been ailing since June. He will continue his difficult recovery from home.

But in a statement earlier this morning, George H.W. Bush (or the people running his website) jumped the gun on Mandela's death with a pre-written statement:

"Barbara and I mourn the passing of one of the greatest believers in freedom we have had the privilege to know. As President, I watched in wonder as Nelson Mandela had the remarkable capacity to forgive his jailers following 26 years of wrongful imprisonment — setting a powerful example of redemption and grace for us all. He was a man of tremendous moral courage, who changed the course of history in his country. Barbara and I had great respect for President Mandela, and send our condolences to his family and countrymen."

Mandela's representatives maintain that the 95-year-old leader remains very much with us. "It is clearly incorrect," presidential spokesman Mac Maharaj told reporters.

George H.W. Bush's people admitted their mistake shortly afterwards:

Mandela remains in critical condition, but will attempt to recover in the confines of his home, away from an encampment of press that have surrounded his hospital since he fell gravely ill in June. Several news companies, as well as public representatives, have already prepared obituaries for the famous leader (as is the custom with any major public figure), and they're ready to be published the second the news of his death breaks.

But for the moment, Nelson Mandela is still with us.

Here's the Deal with the Navy Rape Trial Happening this Weekend

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Here's the Deal with the Navy Rape Trial Happening this Weekend

Last April, a 20-year-old female U.S. Naval Academy midshipman woke up feeling groggy, with a sore back, and little memory of what transpired the night before.

Today, three Navy football players, Tra’ves Bush, 22; Joshua Tate, 21; and Eric Graham, 21, are facing potential rape charges — in the midst of a larger, national conversation about sexual assaults in the military.

But this isn't a typical rape trial.

Article 32 Hearings

Since Tuesday, military and civilian lawyers have been embattled in what is called an Article 32 hearing.

Article 32 hearings are unique to the military and, in theory, function in place of a civilian's Fifth Amendment-guaranteed right to a grand jury indictment for felony charges. That is, in order for the case to go forward (in this case, a court martial) an investigating officer must conduct a "thorough and impartial investigation of charges and specification."

In actuality, these hearings serve as a form of discovery, forcing the government to reveal evidence and testimony — essentially try its case — before a trial has even begun. While defendants are not present at Grand Jury hearings, Article 32 hearings not only allow the defendants to be present, but their attorneys have opportunity to cross-examine the alleged victim.

The Pentagon said in May that at least 26,000 service members said they were a target of unwanted sexual contact last year, but only 3,374 incidents were reported. While many in Congress have called for reform in the process leading up to a court martial, nothing has taken hold yet. This fall, the Senate is expected to debate a proposal that authority for sexual assault investigations and prosecutions be removed from the military chain of command.

What's Happened So Far

On April 14, 2012, a female student attended a "Toga and Yoga" party at an off-campus house called "The Football House". There were hundreds of revelers and a Disney-themed bounce house in the yard. She testified she drank at least seven shots of rum.

She woke up the next morning groggy, with a sore back and a hazy memory. That morning, she had consensual sex with a Navy football player not connected with the case. He or a friend drove her home in a friend's car, where she vaguely remembered being the night before. She saw an open, empty condom wrapper on the floor of the car.

Trying to piece together the night, the female student later texted Joshua Tate, one of the accused. He told her she had sex with him and Eric Graham, according to her testimony.

"He was like, ‘What? You don't remember?'" she said. "He told me that we had sex and he was going to have to refresh my memory."

She's said that she remembers sitting on a bed in the house with one football player and being in a car with three others. “I was sitting on my knees on the floor in the back seat,” she told the New York Times. “I remember briefly seeing them, and I remember crying, and being upset and saying, ‘I’m sorry.’ ”

She heard rumors in days after and noticed classmates making derogatory comments about an unnamed woman on Twitter. While she was speaking to Tate, she saw that he had Tweeted, "The train tickets were on the low." The woman took this to understand that he was suggesting that she was “easy to drive a train through."

She reported the rape after a fellow student insisted she come forward, but the investigation was closed in November due to insufficient evidence. She was punished for underage drinking and forced to attend the Navy football games that her accused rapists were still allowed to play in.

The investigation resumed in January after she hired legal counsel.

She told investigators she initially withheld information because she was scared and didn't want her mother to find out.

Why Is This Different From Other Trials?

Article 32 hearings allow defense attorneys a lot more leeway in cross-examination.

While rape shield laws often protect civilian accusers from similar questions, this week military lawyers have been permitted ask the female student questions like whether she was wearing a bra or underwear to the party, how often she lies, whether she "felt like a ho" the morning after, and repeated questions about "how wide she opens her mouth to perform oral sex."

Article 32 hearings are so hard on sexual assault victims that “a lot of cases die there as a result,” Roger Canaff, a former prosecutor who helped reform military sexual assault cases, told the Seattle Times.

She was also asked whether she was part of a “crusade” to change how the military handles sexual assault cases and whether she had ever imagined having a movie made about her.

When she asked for a day off from testimony after 20 hours of cross-examination spread over four days, a defense attorney accused her of faking exhaustion.

Her attorney, Susan Burke, was also put on the stand Friday and accused of manipulating the student into pursuing the case solely to bring about reform.

Other Issues

Much of the questioning has focused on inconsistencies in the female student's reports.

During a CBS interview earlier this year she said the accused men should be "convicted for what they are, rapists," but since has claimed she doesn't remember whether they had sex — consensual or not — and doesn't consider them to be criminals.

Defense attorneys also played a phone recording this week between the woman and Tate, where the woman asked him to lie to NCIS investigators because "I don't want this to go anywhere I really don't."

NBC reports that she posted on Twitter, "Gloves are off with these n*ggas if you haven't figured it out already," "I've never seen so many n*ggas squeal under pressure," and "A snitch… that 'ish I don't like."

The student admits she had recently engaged in a consensual, causal sexual relationship with Bush. His attorneys are trying to show that any sex they might have had that night was also consensual.

She also admitted on the stand Wednesday that she had lied when she initially told a counselor that she had only had two drinks at the party.

The hearing resumes today. When it ends, the presiding investigating officer's nonbinding recommendation will be sent to an Academy superintendent, who will make the final decision on whether the case should be court-martialed.

[image via AP]

The Foodspin Cookout Reader

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Here's your handy-dandy collection of all the Foodspins you'll need in order to put together a cookout good enough to stave off total abandonment by all of your loved ones for at least another 32 hours or so. We'll update this occasionally with new cookout-appropriate stuff. In the meantime, get cookin'. Readin'. Whatever.


The Foodspin Cookout Reader

How To Barbecue Chicken Thighs: A Guide For People Who Aren't Assholes

"You are cooking bone-in, skin-on, by-God barbecued chicken thighs, and you're doing it on an oversized ashtray full of cheap-shit charcoal, and you are doing this because you know what is good."


The Foodspin Cookout Reader

How To Make A Salad That Doesn't Suck: A Guide For The Nutritionally Unvirtuous

"The real tragedy of salad's abysmal reputation among people who otherwise know what is good is that it's neither challenging nor particularly pricey to construct a salad that is tasty enough to literally—literally!—cause your eyes to come together and fuse into a single enormous Cyclops eye when you taste it."


The Foodspin Cookout Reader

How To Grill Chicken Breasts: A Guide For Heretics

"If the story of your pursuit of healthfulness can't satisfy you without also doubling as a narrative of grim willpower triumphing over the abject misery of self-denial, hell, brining your chicken breasts involves more work. Is that harsh enough for you, Cotton Mather?"


The Foodspin Cookout Reader

How To Make Potato Salad: A Guide For The Great-Aunts Of Tomorrow

"Calling cooked potatoes and a token smattering of vegetables tossed in what's basically seasoned mayonnaise a salad is rather like calling ketchup a vegetable, or Jim Gray a human being: Sure, there might be some flimsy, threadbare technical basis for doing so—Well, the etymological root of the word 'salad' comes to us from the ancient Urartian word 'saal,' which many scholars would argue refers to the human testicle, which is shaped not totally unlike a tiny Russet potato—but, c'mon. Nobody's really buying it."


The Foodspin Cookout Reader

How To Grill Cheeseburgers And Win Your [EDIT: Labor Day!] Cookout

"Use what you like, here, cheese-wise. More precisely, use what your guests like. The proper way to determine this is to walk among them, before you put the burgers on the grill, point the spatula at their respective sternums, cock a stern eyebrow at them, and say, 'Cheese?' If they respond in the affirmative, raise your other eyebrow so that both of your eyebrows are raised together, and say, 'What kind?' When they tell you, narrow your eyes slightly, nod mysteriously, and repeat their choice back to them in such a way that they feel ever so slightly unsure of whether they answered incorrectly.

If they answer in the negative, ask them to leave. If they laugh at this request, call the police."


The Foodspin Cookout Reader

Tubular Freezer-Pop Colors, Ranked

"4) Purple"


The Foodspin Cookout Reader

How To Make A Peach Cobbler So Good You'll Cry

"Look. I know what it's like. I used to think of dessert-making as something for the blue-haired set and, like, French people and Martha Stewart and successful grownups who have their shit together enough to actually make yet another quasi-meal at the end of a long day. I still think all of that, but I also have some peach cobbler, which makes it OK that my kitchen appears as though a giant picked it up and shook it vigorously for five minutes before dropping it roughly back into place."


The Foodspin Cookout Reader

How To Make Kebabs, Because You Like To Stab Things And Play With Fire

"With your disgusting, grubby, soot-blackened fingers (in this conception of things, you are an Elizabethan-era chimney-sweep), yank the meat from its brine or yogurt marinade (you chicken-thigh people are way ahead of the game; watch some baseball or something, willya? We're workin' here, by gum) and viciously impale it on skewers, imagining all the while that each wad of meat is one of Rick Perry's fingers, how do you like that you incoherent boob sonofabitch."


The Foodspin Cookout Reader

36 Cheap American Beers, Ranked

"I realize you're going to spend Independence Day happily drinking whatever cold adult beverage you're served, because you're polite and you're an alcoholic. And I trust you'll have a fine old time no matter what you drink. But that doesn't mean America's shitbrews are all the same. The list below breaks down 36 of them, from worst to least-worst."


The Foodspin Cookout Reader

Taste Test: The Ruffles Ultimate Line, Which You Must Never Eat, Ever

"Who the fuck wants 'Beef N Cheese' dip? Who the fuck goes out into the night in search of a safety-cone-orange chip dip with perfectly cubic hunks of rubbery fake meat suspended in it? Anyone? Anyone? Because I've still fucking got some. I've still fucking got some, and it's in the trash but what the fuck difference does that make because it was trash to begin with and will always be trash and there is trash in my digestive system and I want to die."


The Foodspin Cookout Reader

Fruit-Flavored Juice-Grenade Colors, Ranked

"3) Purple"


The Foodspin Cookout Reader

How To Make A Decent Goddamn Margarita, For Once

"People avoid all sorts of boozes for all sorts of reasons. Maybe you're too broke for Scotch or too smug for vodka. Maybe beer bloats and disappoints you. Perhaps the smell of bourbon reminds you of Grandpa's special beatin' shoe. Or maybe you're like I used to be, and you associate tequila with fratsos and Hagars and loud woo-hoo! women who wear tiaras for the duration of their 'birthday weekend' and call their boobs 'the girls.'"


The Foodspin Cookout Reader

How To Barbecue Ribs: A Guide For The Perplexed

"The basic idea with making tasty ribs is that you want the lowest sustainable heat you can manage, but that it is considered unfashionable in our puritanical culture to walk around with a rack of ribs stuffed into your armpit, so you make do with the next-lowest sustainable heat you can manage, which is usually around 200 degrees or so. You apply this heat to your ribs for a very long time, and at the end, whether you used a spice rub or barbecue sauce or both or neither, whether you used wood smoke or charcoal or both or neither, you will have tasty, juicy, tender ribs."


The Foodspin archive: Chicken thighs | Popeye's biscuits | Salad | Candy corn Oreos|Chili|Red Bull Total Zero | French toast | Sriracha | Halloween candy | Emergency food|Nachos |Meatloaf | Thanksgiving side dishes | MacGyver Thanksgiving | Eating strategies|Leftovers | Mac and cheese | Weird Santa candies | Pot roast | Bean dip | Shrimp linguine|Go-Gurt | Chicken soup | Lobster tails | Pulled pork | Pasta with anchovies | Sausage and peppers | Bacon, eggs, and toast | Indoor steak | Cool Ranch Doritos Tacos | Chicken breasts|Baked Ziti | Quiche | Pimento cheese sandwich | Potato salad | Popeyes Rip'n Chick'n|Crab cakes | Mother's Day brunch | Cheeseburgers | Uncrustables | Peach cobbler | Alfredo sauce|Kebabs | Soft-shell crabs | Ruffles Ultimate | Omelet | Pesto | Poached eggs | Bivalves | Ribs

You can find lots more Foodspin and Drunkspin at foodspin.deadspin.com.

Burning Man Is The New Davos

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If Electronic Frontier Foundation co-founder John Perry Barlow is to be believed, former presidential candidate and four-star General Wesley Clark (ret.) is at Burning Man, fully completing its transformation from a DIY pseudo-utopia to just another stupid ideas festival.

Kerry Says The Administration Has Evidence Assad Used Sarin on Syrians

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Kerry Says The Administration Has Evidence Assad Used Sarin on Syrians

Defending President Obama's push to strike Syria in response to the government's alleged use of chemical weapons, Secretary of State John Kerry appeared on five television programs this morning to explain Obama's shocking, and “courageous decision” to seek congressional approval for an act of war.

“I think the president realized in consultations with Congress that people wanted to weigh in,” Kerry said on CBS this morning. "And he believed, after thinking about it, that the United States of America is much stronger when we act in concert.”

Kerry also claimed that the administration has concrete evidence that the Assad regime used chemical weapons during the August 21st attack that killed 1,400 people. Kerry said that the hair and blood of first responders in East Damascus “have tested positive for signatures of sarin," a powerful neurotoxin. This is the first confirmation of a specific agent being used, however, like much of the administration's evidence, these test results have yet to be released to either Congress or the public.

Kerry referred to the evidence as "overwhelming" on CNN this morning, however U.N. officials, as well as member of the U.S. Congress continue to push for further proof of a chemical attack. A U.N. report on the possible use of chemical weapons could come as early as Monday.

"The U.N. mission is uniquely capable of establishing in an impartial and credible manner the facts of any use of chemical weapons," said a spokesman for U.N. Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon.

"We know that the regime ordered this attack, we know they prepared for it," Kerry said on CNN this morning. "We know where the rockets came from. We know where they landed. We know the damage that was done afterwards. We've seen the horrific scenes all over the social media, and we have evidence of it in other ways, and we know that the regime tried to cover up afterwards, so the case is really an overwhelming case."

Congress will wait to vote on military action until after the end of their summer recess on September 9th, until then however, the administration believes it has provided enough physical evidence (none of which has been presented to the public) to make a case for a strike.

Foreign Student Charged $4,240 for Taxi Ride

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Foreign Student Charged $4,240 for Taxi Ride

Free Uber this is not. A Chinese student was fleeced for $4,240 after a taxi driver at O'Hare Airport scammed the University of Illinois student (who spoke little English) by lying to him that there were no more buses heading to Champaign that evening.

The 18-year-old Chinese student arrived at O'Hare at 6 P.M. on August 20th, and was approached by a cab driver who offered to drive the student to Champaign, for the low price of $1,000 (not low by any standard).

When the student arrived in Champaign, the cabbie demanded $4,800 for the ride.

"The student said he didn't have that much so he gave him all he had," University of Illinois police Sgt. Tom Geis told the News-Gazette.

Chicago police are now looking for the cabbie, who was described by the student as "a white male, about 5 feet 9 inches tall, with a medium build and lighter short hair."

The International Student and Scholar Services program at the University of Illinois is confused as to why the student trusted the cabbie, as well as why he was carrying such a large amount of money.

"It's hard to know why this would have happened," Julie Misa, director of the program said.

Chicago cabbies, for the record, are incredibly hard-working, salt-of-the-earth scam artists who will attempt to rip you off at every opportunity.

[Shutterstock]


What The Hell Was This DC Police Boat Thinking Pulling This Crap?

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A Washington, DC Police boat was making a simple U-turn on the Potomac River near the historic Georgetown neighborhood when it gunned the engine and slammed into two boats, partially sinking one. Thankfully, no one was injured. What the hell were they thinking?

It's unclear what exactly the police boat was doing, though in fairness it appears to be responding to a call, despite this part of the Potomac being a No-Wake Zone. Even still, the boat appears to be moving quite slowly before opening the throttles, turning sharply to starboard, and smacking its stern into two boats sitting docked at the waterfront.

The smaller boat can be seen beginning to list to port, and the AP reported that it was left, on its side and partially sunk, sitting overnight.

The U.S. Coast Guard and DC Police have launched an investigation, though it's still unclear what exactly the cops were doing piloting their craft like this. Jay, the reader who sent this in, said that the cops tying up and getting some lunch was common, and they would regularly tear out of the dock like this. It was only a matter of time before something like this happened, Jay said.

Of course, we'll update you with more information as we have it.

H/t to Jay and Kyle!

Did Someone Confess a Murder on PostSecret?

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Did Someone Confess a Murder on PostSecret?

Yesterday, PostSecret, a site that allows members to anonymously submit postcards bearing secrets, posted an apparent murder confession. Once again, the Internet's favorite private dicks (Reddit) took on the case.

These things, if you remember, never, ever go well.

Here's what the card said, "she dumped me, but really, I dumped her (body)." The Daily Dot reports that Post Secret, instead of reporting the card to the police, then Tweeted it out, and from there the investigation wound its way to Reddit. Reddit users soon figured out the location of the map (a driving range in Chicago), but Reddit moderators, trying to shut down these types of user-generated investigations, promptly deleted the post.

Frank Warren, the head of PostSecret, has yet to contact the police about the posted secret, which might (very probably) be bogus. Still — what's the right thing to do with a possible murder confession? Discreetly bring it to authorities so they can investigate, or unleash it to the crack, never-ever wrong detectives of the Internet?

One Direction: This Is Us topped the Labor Day weekend box office with $17 million.

Kanye West Got Paid By Kazakh Leader To Bore Everyone at Wedding

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Kanye West Got Paid By Kazakh Leader To Bore Everyone at Wedding

Maybe you're spending your Labor Day weekend on the beach, or in the woods, or in front of a computer. Either way, you're probably not being paid by a Kazakh autocrat to bore his grandson's wedding guests, because that is already what Kanye West is doing this weekend.

Consequence of Sound is reporting that Kanye rapped last night for guests of Kazakhstani president (pretty much for life) Nursultan Nazarbayev's grandson. And boy, were they not feeling it.

So how much does it cost to rent a Kanye for the weekend? About $3 million.

Stork Captured and Jailed in Egypt as Suspected Spy

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Stork Captured and Jailed in Egypt as Suspected Spy

After July's military coup and August's deadly protests, authorities in Egypt have been vigilant against any sort of foreign interference. That vigilance led to an unexpected detainment on Friday, when an Egyptian citizen captured a stork he suspected of being a spy.

Some 280 miles south of Cairo, in the Qena Governorate, a man noticed a bird near his home had an electronic device attached to its wing. Worried it might be some sort of spying device, the man took the bird, later identified as a stork, to his local police department. Officers there weren't sure what to make of the device either, and held the bird overnight until it could be inspected by veterinary specialists.

Those specialists arrived the next day and quickly determined the device was not for spying but instead a wildlife tracker installed by French scientists to study the habits of migrating birds.

Ayman Abdallah, the head of Qena's veterinary services, told the Associated Press that the device had stopped working after it crossed the French border, exonerating the bird of any spying charges. Even so, Mohammed Kamal, Qena's head of security, praised the bird's capturer as a patriot.

As of Sunday morning, the bird was still in custody as police await permission from prosecutors to release it to the wild.

[via NY Daily News/Image via AP]

To contact the author of this post, email taylor@gawker.com

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