Last night, some sharp-eyed CBS viewers spotted reformed playboy investor and nature-spoiler Sean Parker next to Sean Lennon—in what appears to be Sean Lennon's mom's seat. What.

Why is Sean Parker filling Yoko Ono's seat while she is on stage? pic.twitter.com/y1vw9xhsQ7

— Chris Rovzar (@Rovzar) January 27, 2014

Sean Parker, seat filler for Yoko Ono

— Margit Detweiler (@Margit) January 27, 2014

Is Sean Parker sitting in Yoko's seat?

— Ross Miller (@ohnorosco) January 27, 2014

Sean Parker stole Yoko Ono's seat. He'll never learn about stealing. #GRAMMYs

— Kevin Olivieri (@KevinOlivieri) January 27, 2014

There were probably a fair number of people in attendance who hate the former Facebook prez: there's Napster, of course, but now he's a prominent backer of Spotify, which has stirred significant industry backlash for paying out pennies to the artists it streams. So was it karma that put the billionaire in a cushion-warming role usually reserved for nobodies? Was this an optical illusion?

Since his daughter, Emma, was in second grade, Garth Callaghan has written inspirational notes on the napkins he packs with her lunch each day. He's promised her she'll get one every day until she graduates high school. Callaghan will keep that promise, even though doctors—who have diagnosed him with cancer three times in two years—give him just an eight percent chance of living another five years.

Since he's likely dying, and soon, he's started writing his lunch notes in advance. He needs 826 total; he's currently at 740. Just 86 more to go.

[via Because I Said I Would]

Breaking: Dictators love really, really, really tall flagpoles. And the one U.S. company that provides them. Wait till you see their Obamapole!

Queen Latifah used her monarchical powers to marry 33 couples at the Grammys last night. Some of those couples were gay. Macklemore sang his song "Same Love." No straight marriages were harmed by last night's proceedings.

Macklemore's song includes the lyric, "Call each other faggots behind the keys of a message board." He sang that, un-bleeped by network censors. That's cool, in context, that word shouldn't offend any people. Meanwhile, Kendrick Lamar had half of m.A.A.d City bleeped out, probably because of his prolific use of the N-word.

Are there laws regarding this, or are the people at CBS just making things up as they go along?

Contrary to popular belief, the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) does not ban specific words. There aren't seven words you can't say on network television. The FCC bans "obscene" speech, so arguably there are hundreds of words that could be strung together in a prohibited way, depending on the tightness of your wad.

The FCC only acts when they receive public complaint about programming. In 2012, there was a backlog of 1.4 million such complaints, but a recent Supreme Court ruling encouraged the FCC to get its act together and come up with some more clear rules for broadcasters. People complain about all sorts of things. Check this out to see some of the best FCC complaints form the Miley Cyrus MTV performance.

Realistically, there are only two words that will get your network automatically slapped, and I think we all know what they are: dropping F-bombs will get you in a load of waste. For pretty much everything else, if the FCC gets a complaint, its staff will look to the context of the language. And that brings us back to Macklemore. In the context of a special marriage ceremony, in the context of a song about the unequal treatment of gays and lesbians, Macklemore's use of the otherwise offensive word "faggot" shouldn't result in an obscenity fine. In fact, it's unlikely that most people even noticed the non-bleeped use of the word (it's at about the 2:26 mark):

Mazel tov.

But the Grammys are nothing if not hopelessly behind the culture of music. Kendrick Lamar also "sang a song" during the Grammys... and it should make the Grammy people feel bad for not honoring his work this year. Macklemore even apologized to Lamar for "robbing" him. Interestingly, Lamar's rendition of m.A.A.d City was so heavily edited you might have thought your cable was cutting out during the performance:

Now... there are a lot of F-bombs and N-words in m.A.A.d City. It's probably not that surprising that CBS censors worked overtime on that one. But it is interesting that when it comes to the N-word, context be damned. Shouldn't the FCC be just as able to distinguish offensive context around the N-word as it is regarding anti-gay slurs?

Don't get me wrong: lots of people think the N-word should be just as "banned" as any of the traditional dirty words. Lord knows, the last thing anybody wants to see at an awards show is Brad Paisley and LL Cool J working out their racial issues on stage.

But legally, CBS didn't have to bleep Lamar like he was a Hobbit humping the Imagine Dragons. We could live in a world where everybody got the benefits (or consequences) of context.

Your UrbanBaby.com thread of the day: "Got invited to applebees by friend. (she's [middle class]) what do you order there?" Suggestions include "maybe a side salad with no dressing," "Iced tea, then eat at home," and "Is there a Le Pain Quotidien nearby?"

During the Grammy awards last night, Taylor Swift took several perfectly normal pictures with other celebrities backstage. But wait–who's that guy in the background?

An old prospector lost on his way to the nineteenth century? Igor's bearded brother polishing his photobombing skills? Just some bearded dude trying to get out of the way of this Very Important Picture? Whoever he is, he will doubtless go down in history as one of the enduring mysteries of the Grammys.

[image via @CBS/Twitter]

We've had some hard times in the past five years. But thanks to The Fed and Almighty God, the economy is booming again. Now you can finally get divorced.

A happy (???) side effect of a poor economy is that fewer couples tend to get divorced. "Better to stay put in misery with this asshole who can help pay the bills," is the prevailing sentiment. Now, new research shows that as the stock market rises and the unemployment rate falls, many unhappily married couples are—at long last—feeling secure enough to kick that no good (motherfucker/ bitch) to the curb. The LA Times reports:

From 2009 to 2011, about 150,000 fewer divorces occurred than would otherwise have been expected, University of Maryland sociologist Philip N. Cohen estimated. Across the country, the divorce rate among married women dropped from 2.09% to 1.95% from 2008 to 2009, then crept back up to 1.98% in both 2010 and 2011.

Congratulations on your new job and Match.com profile.

[Photo: Shutterstock]

Now Stephen Hawking says black holes don't exist. No fucking idea.

The co-owner of United Gun Shop in Rockville, Maryland, says 18-year-old Darion Aguilar—who purchased a 12-gauge shotgun at the store, then used it to kill two people and himself in a nearby shopping mall—"was an ideal customer."

Cory Brown, one of the shop's proprietors, told the Washington Post that Aguilar's "whole demeanor was, he smiled, he was polite, he wasn't aggressive" as he asked to look at a Mossberg shotgun he'd been researching:

So they got out a basic 500 model — "an entry-level" gun, Brown said — a pump-action 12-gauge that is easy for a novice to fire accurately in close quarters.

Saturday morning, 46 days ­after he left the shop with a $430 Mossberg 500 and two boxes of shells, Aguilar used the weapon at the Mall in Columbia, killing two employees of a clothing store and then himself as hundreds of frightened shoppers ran for cover.

"This guy, to rate him as a customer, he was an ideal customer," Brown said Monday at his store off Randolph Road. "We get plenty of people that come in here and look shady. We turn them away. We don't even bother doing the paperwork. But this guy asked a lot of good questions. All 'please' and 'thank you.' Engaged us great.

The gun shop's proprietors puzzled over what drove Aguilar to use his gun as a murder weapon, since he "asked lots and lots of questions, all the right stuff"—the teen, who was old enough to buy a shotgun but not a pistol, said it was for "home defense." But Brown did concede that Aguilar's shotgun was easy to break down and modify for close-quarters use:

He easily could have disassembled the 35-inch-long Mossberg beforehand, stashed the parts in his backpack and reassembled them in the dressing room, Brown said.

"Very quickly," he said "All it takes is a simple screwdriver."...

When investigators found the weapon near Aguilar's body, they said, it had a pistol grip, though it didn't have one when he purchased it.

"We don't sell them," Brown said. The gun had a conventional stock. "One screw, though, the stock comes off, and it's a $10 grip you just stick on there."

Brown said he turns lots of "crazies" away from the store all the time, but he bore no reservations about the sale to Aguilar. "His whole context was home defense," Brown told the paper. "He was new to this. He wanted something not too crazy — he didn't ask about [assault] rifles; he didn't ask about handguns." It's true: You never can tell who might have a killing impulse. The only thing you know for certain is, a Mossberg 12-gauge with buckshot would certainly be one way to indulge it.

[Photo credit: AP]

Meet Kahlei Stone-Kelly, the best two-year-old skateboarder you'll ever see. Kahlei is the youngest of seven children from a family of skateboarding enthusiasts and has been skateboarding since he was just six months old.

Impressive tricks aside, someone should get this kid a helmet. Or at least a shirt and some pants.

[via Digg]

1. Because Taylor Swift isn't going to start a revolution.
2. Because "a literal knight of the Kingdom of Norway" who can buy "a six-pack of Rolexes" would like to tell you how Occupy is like the Nazis.
3. Because people still die because they can't afford to pay for preventive and lifesaving care.
4. Because war is not over.
5. Because of the National Rifle Association.
6. Because people still get pissed about musicians staging a gay marry-in.
7. Because of the NSA.
8. Because people still dump toxic shit into rivers.
9. Because of 2.2 million American prisoners.
10. Because we not only still kill prisoners, we're actually looking for more draconian ways to do it.
11. Because Trayvon Martin is dead and George Zimmerman is free.
12. Because the minimum wage sucks.
13. Because women's wages suck.
14. Because women still have it so hard.
15. Because minorities still have it so hard.
16. Because there are places in Inner America that treat 11-year-old Thai Buddhist kids like this.
17. Because music changes lives.
18. Because there is still a neo-Nazi music scene.
19. Because fences don't always make good neighbors.
20. Because of "Uncle Sugar."
21. Because Erick Erickson exists.
22. Because some cops neither serve nor protect.
23. Because you don't always recognize your own privilege, and neither do I.
24. Because you risk your life going to the movies sometimes.
25. Because Downton Abbey, aka "Landed Gentry Have Problems," is what passes for highbrow entertainment.
26. Because rich-as-hell flim-flam men drive our political discourse.
27. Because millions of people, voting people, still get their news from Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck every week.
28. Because we need unions.
29. Because strikes work.
30. Because unions need a comeback.
31. Because education is education, not job training. Its appropriate aim is to make you a better person, not a better middle-manager and consumer.
32. Because the invisible hand keeps flipping you off.
33. Because there ever was a government "Un-American Activities Committee," and there can be again, if you don't pay attention.
34. Because you don't help people ground down by the hard realities of market economics by musing about the secret to a fast-food franchise's success.
35. Because a certain kind of person still jokes about cleaning his guns with the tears of liberals.
36. Because you need more Leadbelly in your life.
37. Because you've seen the word "thug" in a headline in the past ten years.
38. Because of Blackwater.
39. Because of the Clearwater.
40. Because you've likely never talked to a migrant worker in America, but you should.
41. Because you still don't have complete freedom over your own body.
42. Because child-labor laws don't write themselves.
43. Because there are still politicians emailing each other noose, banana, and bone-through-nose jokes like it's no thing.
44. Because towns in Alabama need more black drag Santas in their parades.
45. Because "harsh interrogation methods" exist.
46. Because we're fucking poor, and we're fucking scared.
47. Because the safety, health, and happiness of women are no joke.
48. Because little boxes aren't enough.
49. Because freedom doesn't march, it breaks step.
50. Because no human being is illegal.
51. Because your God doesn't have to be so small.
52. Because we desperately need a cure for affluenza.
53. Because it should be easier for a retail worker to earn what her CEO makes in an hour.
54. Because manatees should matter.
55. Because which side are you on?
56. Because there's more truth in a lyric, any lyric, than a State of the Union address, any State of the Union address.
57. Because a national tragedy should not be a business opportunity.
58. Because the Confederates lost.
59. Because your box store is spying on you.
60. Because your attachment to consumer technology is making you terrible.
61. Because of fracking.
62. Because Patti Smith, Bruce Springsteen, and Tom Morello are rarely wrong.
63. Because of the smug media conservative sniffing at this list at this very moment.
64. Because there's more Christianity in Pete Seeger than in most Christians.
65. Because you owe it to your current and future children to be better.
66. Because the national conversation on trans rights is just getting started.
67. Because to every thing, there is a season.
68. Because Justin fucking Bieber? Really, humans?
69. Because of the dialectic, bitches.
70. Because your sexist racist uncle isn't going to do it.
71. Because Johnny Cash got it.
72. Because even the pope gets it.
73. Because another world is possible.
74. Because we would all like to outlast the bastards.
75. Because pacifism? What ever happened to that?
76. Because international cosmopolitanism? Sounds socialist!
77. Because so much about modern life is sad.
78. Because you can play a sad song on a banjo.
79. Because rye whiskey is good.
80. Because you're alive.
81. Because of all the good people who have died.
82. Because there can be poetry after Auschwitz, if you write it.
83. Because war is over, if you want it.
84. Because compassion and empathy and solidarity should not be dirty words.
85. Because the big fool says to push on.
86. Because some of the flowers are still gone.
87. Because God's counting on me, God's counting on you.
88. Because hate needs to be surrounded and forced to surrender.
89. Because we need to keep overcoming.
90. Because this land is your land.
91. Because this land is my land.
92. Because this land was made for you and me.
93. Because this land was made for you and me.
94. Because this land was made for you and me.

Last night, Bloomberg West's Emily Chang treated us to one of the greatest TV interviews in recent memory, as she sat down with venture capitalist-cum-cartoon villain Tom Perkins. He not only stood by his Nazi-invoking defense of the rich, he clearly gives no fucks about being an inhuman oligarch. Here are all the best (worst) moments.

Perkins, in his rambling defense of the 1 percent and panegyric to his own career and affluence, said demonizing the rich is "crazy." If you watch our highlight reel above, you can certainly conclude the man knows crazy when he sees it.

Still—you have to admit—his honesty is welcome. Most people in his field make some attempt to hide how terrible they are.

On Sunday, a Brooklyn gallery owner snapped this photo of two parents letting their toddler crawl all over a multi-million dollar sculpture by Donald Judd at London's Tate Modern museum.

Stephanie Theodore, the gallery owner, quickly posted the picture to Twitter.

Holy crap. Horrible kids, horrible parents. @tate pic.twitter.com/6h1nuY6CfQ

— Stephanie Theodore (@TheodoreArt) January 26, 2014

Theodore also confronted the parents, who were unmoved. "I told the woman the the kids were using a $10mm art work as a toy, she told me I knew nothing abt kids. Obv she doesn't either," Theodore tweeted. She also notified the guards at the Tate, who she said were grateful for having it brought to their attention.

Similar sculptures by Judd sold for nearly $3 million at a 2006 auction.

[Image via]

The latest poll numbers, from NBC and the Wall Street Journal, are in: 55% of Americans say "they favor allowing regulated businesses to sell marijuana." What's the holdup?

This is not even "medical marijuana," that familiar canard, that we're talking about here. This is a solid ten-point majority of Americans saying, for months now, they favor legal weed—weed that is taxed and regulated and sold to adults, just like alcohol is. This is a solid ten-point majority of Americans expressing a desire for sanity in this corner of the War on Drugs. This is an acknowledgment of common sense.

The details of the poll are predictable: huge majorities of young people and Democrats favor legal marijuana, along with minorities of older people and Republicans. Still, consider the fact that the two demographic groups most opposed to legalization—people over the age of 65, and Republicans—both register 38% support. The very fact that almost four out of ten old Republicans want America's ridiculous prohibition of weed to end is perhaps the most telling data point of all.

The entire debate over medical marijuana was (let's be honest) in essence just a waiting game. It was a way for the rational, common sense, and ethical movement to legalize and regulate weed to wait until the public finally came around to the overwhelming rightness of their position. That time has come. States are legalizing it on their own. Must we wait for every state in the union to take it upon themselves to bring their drug policies into the realm of sanity? Or might our esteemed leaders in Washington decide make themselves useful for a change? The tone of the media has evolved to one of tacit acceptance of weed's relatively harmless nature. The time when a politician admitting to smoking weed was considered a serious political issue seems very long ago. The president of the United States has all but acknowledged that marijuana prohibition is absurd.

Thirty two years ago, John Kerry testified to Congress about the Vietnam war, and asked, "How do you ask a man to be the last man to die for a mistake?" Now, John Kerry and his peers run the country. And every day, Americans are arrested for breaking marijuana laws that were foolish and unjust on the day they were made. It ain't Vietnam, but it is a mistake. The public has made its will clear. Stop twiddling your fucking thumbs, Congress. This is stupid.

Legalize it, already.

[Photo: Flickr]

Did you see the Grammys on Sunday? It doesn't matter if you didn't or if your fingers suddenly just spontaneously broke, rendering you unable to Google or click anything and forcing you to stay on this very page. Who needs Beyoncé's show-stopping opening number when you can watch Vin Diesel's rendition of the same song? Watch him walk, watch him stand, watch him move his body like a toddler with a full diaper. Watch him lip synch not for his life, but for yours.

And here's just the "surfboard" part:

And here's a "surfboard" gif:

And here's the title of the inevitable Buzzfeed test derived from this sure-to-be viral video: What Vin Diesel "Surfboard" Dance Move Are You?

The reason he's so, uh, happy, by the way, is because Riddick is No. 1 on the DVD charts. So that explains everything. He shares this in the full version of this video posted on Facebook (also featuring his take on Katy Perry's "Dark Horse"),

The front page of today’s New York Daily News teases quite the scoop about an unnamed NBC personality:

A secret, steamy relationship between one of NBC's best-known on-air personalities and a network executive has been put on ice because the duo fear their naughty behavior will be exposed by eavesdropping Russian agents at the Olympics.

Who’s this well-known on-air personality? The otherwise cavalier tabloid is playing coy:

The exec, who admits to a 20-year-long, on-and-off-again shagfest turned sexting bonanza, is frustrated the fun will be on hiatus as long as one of them—we won’t say who —is covering the Games.

Well, we will. Email us if you know. (And speculate below.)

To contact the author of this post, email trotter@gawker.com

[Photo credit: Daily News]

While Pete Seeger may not have made it to the Top 40 in recent years, the legendary folk singer-songwriter continued to be influential until he died on Tuesday at 94. An influence on everyone from Bruce Springsteen to Bob Dylan, he helped bring political folk music to the mainstream and was an activist for more causes than we can count.

Above, Henry A. Wallace, on a political tour of the American South, listens to Pete Seeger on a plane between Norfolk and Richmond in 1948.

[Pete Seeger strums a banjo on the bow of the 75-foot Hudson River Sloop to be launched in South Bristol, Maine on May 14, 1969. Seeger and a group of volunteers had the $150,000 vessel built to dramatize the fight against pollution of Hudson River Valley. Image via Stephen Nichols/AP.]

[Pete Seeger, left, performs at the Rally for Détente at Carnegie Hall in New York in 1975. Image via Richard Drew/AP.]

[Arlo Guthrie and Pete Seeger, rising during a memorial service for the recently deceased actor Will Geer. The service was held at the Martin Luther King Jr. center in New York City in 1978. Image via RB/AP.]

[The Weavers, a folk group first organized in 1948, perform in a 25th Anniversary reunion concert at Carnegie Hall in 1980. From left are: Pete Seeger, Lee Hays, Ronnie Gilbert and Fred Hellerman. Image via Richard Drew/AP.]

[A group of Americans and Nicaraguans stage a demonstration in front of the U.S. Embassy at night to protest against Contra aid in 1988. The elderly man with the banjo is Pete Seeger. Image via Mauricio Orozco/AP.]

[Pete Seeger, left, leads a march from the family home of Abbie Hoffman in Worcester, Mass., to Temple Emanuel for a 1989 memorial service for the former political activist. Image via Peter Southwick, File/AP.]

[Pete Seeger, who hadn't sung with Burl Ives for at least 40 years, sings with him in rehearsal at New York's 92nd St. Y in 1993. He sent word to the hotel where Ives and wife Dorothy were settling in before the concert that he'd like to sing a duet with him. Ives said, "I'll be glad to see Pete." They sang "Blue Tail Fly." Image via Marty Reichenthal/AP.]

[Pete Seeger, Stevie Wonder and Keith John, right, perform at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremonies in New York in 1996. Seeger was inducted for his early influence on rock and roll. Image via Mark Lennihan/AP.]

[Pete Seeger encourages the crowd to sing at Teachers College, Columbia University commencement convocation in 2003. Singer and two other men were given awards and honorary degrees during the ceremony. Image via Chris Hondros/Getty.]

[Pete Seeger performs with his grandson Tao, left, and Bruce Spingsteen during "We Are One: Opening Inaugural Celebration at the Lincoln Memorial" in Washington in 2009. Image via Alex Brandon/AP.]

[Pete Seeger performs at the benefit concert celebrating his 90th birthday at Madison Square Garden in 2009. The concert was also a benefit for Hudson River Sloop Clearwater, created by Seeger to preserve and protect the Hudson River. Image via Evan Agostini/AP.]

[Tao Rodriquez Seeger (Pete's Grandson) and Pete Seeger backstage at the 2009 New Orleans Jazz & Heritage Festival. Image via Rick Diamond/Getty.]

[Pete Seeger receives the 2009 Dorothy and Lillian Gish Prize at Hunts Point Riverside Park in 2009 in New York City. Image via Astrid Stawiarz/Getty.]

[Pete Seeger, left, is joined on stage by David Rawlings, center, and Ramblin' Jack Elliot, right, at George Wein's Newport Folk Festival 50 in Newport, R.I. in 2009. Seeger played the first Newport Folk Festival in 1959 and is credited as a co-founder along with George Wein. Image via Joe Giblin/AP.]

[Pete Seeger, 92, marches with nearly a thousand demonstrators sympathetic to the Occupy Wall Street protests for a brief acoustic concert in Columbus Circle in 2011. The demonstrators marched down Broadway singing "This Little Light of Mine" and other folk and gospel songs while ad-libbing lines about corporate greed and social justice. Image via John Minchillo/AP.]

[Pete Seeger performs on stage during the Farm Aid 2013 concert at Saratoga Performing Arts Center in Saratoga Springs, N.Y. Image via Hans Pennink/AP.]

[Lead image via AP.]

As part of his pitch to J.J. Abrams for a role in the new Star Wars films, Bill Hader showed Conan O'Brien his best imitations of two lesser known characters. You've never seen a better impression of dying tauntaun. And Hader's Jabba the Hutt isn't bad either.

[via Devour]

In the weirdest look for hip-hop since...oh, Sunday, when Macklemore won all of those Grammys, rapper Wiz Khalifa appeared on E!'s catty Fashion Police. If you haven't seen it, the show is kind of like the judging deliberations on reality competitions stretched out for an entire hour. Every week the winner is Joan Rivers because everyone on the panel (including babbleheads Kelly Osbourne and Giuliana Rancic) bellows at her jokes and otherwise kisses her ass.

Weirdly, though, Wiz fit right in. He was charming. He made a funny joke about aviator sunglasses. He talked light smack on Taylor Swift. He rhapsodized his first love, weed. He politely laughed at Rivers' race-themed joke about Macklemore. His wife, Amber Rose, wasn't quite as charming. It was awesome, though, that when Rivers made a very Riversian pun and told Rose that she looked like she was going to the Golden Globes on account of her heaving bosom in her Grammys dress, Rose said, "Thank you," probably because she thought Rivers was insinuating that she looked classy.

Also, in the clip above, make sure to catch Rancic either implying that she burns weed or having no idea what Wiz means when he says, "I like green."

Old-fart Floridians have found a new way to keep the damn kids off their lawn: Start a shooting range on it. It's totally legal, thanks to a little-known 1987 law that's recently been rediscovered by Beretta-toting bubbas.

Thank 57-year-old snowbird Doug Varrieur, who was looking for a way to teach his eyesight-impaired wife how to shoot her self-defense pistol without the inconvenience of going to a commercial gun range, "which is 50 miles round trip, costs $45 an hour and is enclosed in a building with people shooting around you that you don't know," he told the Miami Herald.

So, without any hint of irony, he did the next best thing: He started shooting at cans and zombie cutouts right outside the door of his RV, around people he didn't know. He can do this because a state law prevents local municipalities from banning the discharge of firearms in residential neighborhoods:

"I honestly had hoped no one would catch wind of it and it would become public knowledge," Monroe County Sheriff Rick Ramsay said of the state law that pre-empts local ordinances. "I'm concerned now that people know. This isn't about the right to own and bear arms. My concern is public safety and quality of life."

Ramsay is not the only one who is worried. Since word got out about the legality of Varrieur's "Gun Day" — he shoots from 3 to 4 p.m. every Wednesday — citizens and lawmakers up and down the island chain have become concerned that gun owners less responsible than Varrieur will begin shooting in their own yards.

"Without any oversight, somebody's neighbor could set up a gun range and invite his friends over and have a good old time shooting," said longtime Monroe County Commissioner George Neugent. "That's a little scary situation, and I say that as a gun owner and somebody who believes in the Second Amendment."

The law says folks can fire anything they want on their own property, no matter how small the plot of land, as long as they're not "reckless" or "negligent"—terms that cops admit they're unsure how to interpret. And the first violation would be a misdemeanor anyway, meaning a police officer can't arrest an offender unless he witnesses the offense with his own eyes.

As the Herald's Cammy Clark notes, gun-totin' gadflies are getting hip to the opportunity—and not always for gun-related reasons:

If people want to shoot on private property next to a daycare center, they can. Just last month, Ernie Vasiliou threatened to put a private gun range on a one-acre lot on Ranches Road west of Boynton Beach if a proposed daycare center were approved on land next to his. Vasiliou said noisy kids would ruin his dream-home plans.

When Monroe County commissioners asked whether noise ordinances could be invoked to stop shooting at private homes, County Attorney Bob Shillinger said no.

"And if they want to shoot a fully automatic weapon, and have a class 3 license, technically they would not be in violation of anything," Ramsay said.

Sure sure, but what's the harm?

A month ago, on Christmas Day, a grandfather in Volusia County was working in his back yard when he was hit in the chest by an errant bullet fired from a neighbor's yard. Bruce Fleming, 69, died less than an hour later at a local hospital.

No arrest has been made in the case while investigators await forensic evidence. According to the Daytona Beach News Journal, the shooter has been identified. He admitted to firing a shotgun but said he did not know the bullets had hit anyone. The shots were fired from a nearby property with a horse stable.

Ironically, this situation was set up by "small government" conservatives who wanted to ensure that actual small governments—you kn0w, local ones—couldn't regulate gun ranges within their boundaries:

Many municipalities in Florida used to have local laws banning the firing of guns in residential areas. While the preemptive state law has been in place for almost three decades, many local governments ignored it and passed their own gun ordinances.

But in 2011, backed by the National Rifle Association, the Republican-led state Legislature put more teeth into the state law, creating penalties for local lawmakers who violate it. Gov. Rick Scott signed the law that now makes anyone who creates or upholds local gun ordinances subject to fines of up to $5,000. They also can be removed from office and forced to pay their own legal bills if sued over local gun ordinances.

Even some Republican lawmakers think that's bunk. State Rep. Holly Raschein told the Herald that, even though she considers herself a friend to gun owners, the range rule "shocked" her. "I almost didn't believe it at first... I'm originally from Alaska, and we're no strangers to guns up there. But even in Anchorage, that's not allowed."

Welcome to free Florida! If you don't like it, you can move in with the rest of those big-government fascists in DENALI.