The soon-to-be-ex-wife of Rep. Alan Grayson (D-Fla.) got a "temporary protective injunction" against the congressman Monday, after accusing him in court papers of physically assaulting her and threatening to ruin her life.

Grayson, who won fame as a loudmouthed maverick liberal after riding a Democratic wave into office in 2006, appeared to emerge chastened after losing re-election in 2010 and finding an open House seat in Orlando the following election cycle. Citing his procedural successes last year, Slate's Dave Weigel dubbed Grayson "the most effective member of the House"—a far cry from the guy who regularly called his opponents "Taliban" and "neanderthals."

But at the same time he was cultivating a respectable look in the House, his own house was falling apart, the Orlando Sentinel reports:

Lolita Grayson's petition for the injunction, dated Monday, says her husband pushed her against a door, causing her to fall to the ground, during a confrontation Saturday at their home on Oak Park Road near Windermere.

In a statement, Alan Grayson's press secretary, Lauren Doney, wrote that the allegations "are absolutely false, completely unfounded, and clearly designed to vilify and harm Congressman Grayson."...

The incident comes just less than two months after Lolita Grayson filed a divorce petition stating that their marriage of nearly 24 years was "irretrievably broken."

Lolita Grayson says the incident came during an unannounced visit to the home by her estranged husband, just as she was trying to take the couple's two children out for a play date. He wanted to talk; she refused:

After she refused, retrieved his mail and asked him to leave, Alan Grayson "then deliberately and with force pushed [Lolita Grayson] very hard against the front door, causing [her] to fall to the ground as a result," the petition states.

She told her husband not to touch her, then pushed him in the face and kneed him in the stomach "in order to protect and defend herself" before calling 911, her petition says.

As she was talking to the operator, Alan Grayson told his wife, in the presence of their children, that she "would receive nothing" in their divorce and would be left "in the gutter," the petition states.

Photos filed by Lolita Grayson's attorneys with the petition show large bruises to her left leg and left shoulder.

Her complaint alleges that "from time to time" in the past, her husband "has battered [her] and the parties' minor children," though she has not previously sought an injunction against him.

You can see Alan Grayson's denials in the video above, as he tries to get away from a reporter; his court paperwork accuses Lolita Grayson of growing "increasingly erratic" since the breakup.

The Orange County Sheriff's Office told the Sentinel that it's investigating the incident.

Dove's entire philosophy of selling you beauty products is to convince you it embraces "real" women. It's not marketing exclusively to youthful supermodels—it also wants to apply its deodorant to older women and... people from New Jersey.

But Dove's parent corporation, Unilever, got a little too real with a deodorant billboard proudly calling Jersey "The Armpit of America."

"Take it as a compliment," the ad said.

To the surprise of absolutely no one, New Jersey didn't. After a Facebook backlash where Garden State residents showed Dove the Middle Finger of America, the company agreed to stop the billboard campaign.

"Our intent with the 'Dear New Jersey' ad was to call attention to the fact that armpits can and should be considered beautiful and ask women everywhere to accept this as something that is O.K. We did not wish to cause any misunderstanding or offense," a Unilever rep wrote to the New York Times.

Ironically (appropriately?), Unilever is headquartered in Englewood Cliffs, New Jersey.

[H/T: Adweek, Photo Credit: Unilever]

Flying, once a quirky luxury, has not completed its transition into an unavoidable descent to hell. The experience of flying on commercial airlines grows more excruciatingly painful by the day.

ITEM: "United Airlines is getting tough on passengers with oversized carry-on bags, even sending some of them back to the ticket counter to check their luggage for a fee."

ITEM: "At the end of March, Southwest frequent fliers will see their points devalued by roughly 14%."

ITEM: "Regional airlines can't fill their cockpits, and it's because their pilots earn miserably low pay."

ITEM: "In the wake of its merger with US Airways, American Airlines this week became the latest major U.S. airline to end its policy of offering bereavement fares."

ITEM: "A new study estimates that severe weather has cost airlines and passengers $5.8 billion this winter."

ITEM: "Over the past 15 years, most global carriers have upgraded their business cabins with seats that spread out into flat beds. These are so luxurious that most airlines have ditched first class. To make room for these loungers, airlines have squeezed coach class. First they compressed rows by shaving knee space. Now many are wedging an extra seat into each row."

ITEM: "North Korea defended on Wednesday its recent missile firings as 'ordinary military practice,' as South Korea said Tuesday's volley passed above a Chinese passenger jet's route just minutes ahead of the airliner."

"Maybe a missile strike would get us a little more god damn legroom," joked Jay Leno, before retreating to his private jet.

[Photo: AP]

[Photo via Imgur and Towleroad]

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On Wednesday, a gang of 10 to 15 gunmen threatened a senior U.N. diplomat in Crimea, eventually forcing him to leave the region just hours after after he arrived to evaluate the invasion by the Russian military.

Robert Serry, serving as a representative to the UN's secretary-general, had just visited a navy base in Simferopol when he was surrounded by the gunmen, who demanded that Serry leave Crimea immediately. Serry initially refused, and was forced to take shelter in a nearby coffee shop after the men surrounded his vehicle. He later made it to Simferopol's airport.

"I think this incident is just an example of how serious the situation has become and my hope is that everybody will realize that this situation is very urgent now and we must find a way to de-escalate the situation here," Serry said from Simferopol airport, according to ITV. "That is the lesson of what happened to me."

[Image via AP]

Republicans in Hudson Valley, where Sean Eldridge is running for Congress, allege that their new neighbor accepted in-kind donation from a local economic group. In a complaint to the Federal Election Committee, Eldridge's political rivals use YouTube footage to try to make the case that this violates election law.

According to the complaint, Eldridge, who is married to Facebook cofounder Chris Hughes, used video from the Hudson Valley Economic Development Corporation, a nonprofit aiding local business, in his promotional campaign announcement last September.

The New York Daily News reports:

The footage shows the CEO of the corporation, Larry Gottlieb, citing Eldridge's role in an initiative to promote development of 3D printing in the area. The organization posted footage of the same event in May 2013.

"Four months later Eldridge and the committee incorporate the very same footage, down to the shirt and tie" and use it "to promote Eldridge's campaign for federal office," the complaint says.

Republicans argue that this video [below] is "is clearly the property of the HVEDC":

And since federal campaign laws prevent corporations from contributing to campaign committees, using this footage in the campaign announcement [below] represents an in-kind donation.

When Eldridge's camp dismissed the claim, his rivals referred back to the tape:

Republicans countered that the clips of Gottlieb in the two videos have different angles and editing in the two videos. That means Eldridge's camp couldn't have simply pulled the video from YouTube.

The complaint sounds silly and hardly something to riled up about until you watch the entirety of the Hudson Valley Economic Development Corporation video in question. It begins with Eldridge talking about his $1 million investment in 3D printing in the area, then the $250,000 founding grant he donated to create the Hudson Valley Advanced Manufacturing Center at SUNY New Paltz, AND then his commitment of up to $500,000 in Hudson Valley companies. The video ends with Eldridge thanking all those organizations for partnering with him.

The non-profit video itself feels like a campaign ad for Eldridge! Let this nice man buy your vote already.

To contact the author of this post, please email nitasha@gawker.com.

Michele Bachmann herp a derp derp derp derpity herpy derp the Jews herp herp derpy derpaderp Obama. Derp?

Rep. Darrell Issa is the chairman of the House oversight committee, and also an alleged repeat car thief. He's spent most of the past few years seeking evidence of criminal wrongdoing in the Obama White House. And Rep. Elijah Cummings has just about had enough of his shit.

At a C-SPAN-televised committee hearing Wednesday in which Issa (R-Calif.) tried to squeeze IRS bureaucrat Lois Lerner for answers on a godawful boring alleged scandal in which the agency supposedly targeted tea partier nonprofits for audits (or didn't), Issa turned the mic over to Cummings (D-Md.) for questions. Cummings said he had a question, but first launched into an attack on what he said was Issa's politically motivated witch hunt.

So Issa cut off his mic. And, as the video above shows, the shit hit the fan. The blow-by-blow from Politico:

...Issa turned off his microphone, instructing staff to "shut it down."

The silencing enraged Cummings, who started yelling that the minority should get its turn.

"And now you're turning me off," Cummings says, barely audible because his mic was off.

"You're all free to leave; we've adjourned," Issa said off-mic.

"I don't care. … I am the ranking member of the committee and I want to ask a question!" Cummings shot back. "I have listened to you for 15 minutes … let me say what I have to say."

When Cummings started speaking again, denouncing Issa for trying to tie the scandal to the White House when it broke even though there has been no evidence to support that claim, the microphone was turned off again.

When Issa refused to let Cummings talk, Democrats on the panel yelled "shame" at the dais.

"If you will sit down and allow me to ask a question," Cummings continued to yell off-mic as members filed out. "I am a member of the Congress of the United States of America. I am tired of this!"

Even for a committee known for political theater, the confrontation reached a new height.

Afterward, Issa complained that Cummings "was actually slandering me at the point that the microphone went off":

Cummings' response, essentially, was that he's getting too old for this shit:

Man, I can't wait till the next debt ceiling vote. These guys really get things done.

RT America anchor Liz Wahl abruptly resigned from her job while filming a live segment on Wednesday afternoon. “I cannot be a part of a network funded by the Russian government that whitewashes the actions of Putin,” she said. “I’m proud to be an American and believe in disseminating the truth. And that is why, after this broadcast, I am resigning.”

Wahl, who works in the channel’s Washington bureau, cited fellow RT anchor Abby Martin, who publicly criticized Russia’s “military occupation” of the Ukranian peninsula of Crimea, as well as her own grandparents, who immigrated to America during the Hungarian Revolution of 1956, as inspirations for resigning.

[Via The Daily Beast]

Remember those hoverboards that were almost certainly fake? Well, they're fake.

Funny or Die is the perpetrator that tried (and probably failed, honestly) to crush your hoverboard dreams with star-studded hoax ads headlined by Back to the Future's Christopher Lloyd.

A tearful Lloyd admitted as much in a new Funny or Die video, where he claims he was hornswoggled too—he wanted to believe in hoverboards so much that he missed the obvious trickery.

Okay, so, that's clearly part of the ruse, too. But what is Funny or Die promoting with all of this?

Looks like it's a giveaway of one of the (fake) hoverboards from the HUVr commercial—a replica design of the Back to the Future 2 original—signed by all of the ad's stars. Nothing being sold, no Back to the Future 4 teaser, just a really fancy play for Facebook comments.

One lucky winner gets a hoverboard; everyone else gets a heel rubbed into their last remaining shred of childlike excitement and wonder. Now that's funny (and/or die)!

Vanity Fair, an airport magazine that throws an Oscar party with a "famously tight guest list," published an article bragging about how much booze was consumed / money was wasted at their Sunday night tent party. They also sent out an email press blast ("OSCAR PARTY BY THE NUMBERS") to encourage everyone to witness—and presumably write about—the excess. And so we shall.

So how much booze can Hollywood's elite consume?

Here is the Vanity Fair list, BY THE NUMBERS:

• Champagne Henriot: 596 bottles
• Casa Dragones tequila: 36 bottles
• Grey Goose vodka: 203 bottles
• Stella Artois: 240 bottles
• Storm Wines: 276 bottles
• My Essential Red: 96 bottles
• Happy Canyon Vineyards wine: 240 bottles
• Voss Artesian Water from Norway: 1,284 bottles (800 ml)

While much of the alcohol was probably donated and / or purchased at a steep discount, how much would it cost for an average boozehound blogger in Los Angeles to throw such a party?

Doing my own questionable math that relies heavily on the BevMo website and other sketchy online booze retailers, here is a rough estimate:

• Champagne Henriot: 596 bottles ($25/bottle) = $12,400
• Casa Dragones tequila: 36 bottles ($275/bottle) = $9,900
• Grey Goose vodka: 203 bottles ($30/bottle) = $6,090
• Stella Artois: 240 bottles ($18/12 bottles) = $360
• Storm Wines: 276 bottles ($30/bottle) = $8,280
• My Essential Red: 96 bottles ($25/bottle) = $2,400
• Happy Canyon Vineyards wine: 240 bottles ($36/bottle) = $8,640
• Voss Artesian Water from Norway: 1,284 bottles (800 ml) ($3/bottle) = $3,852

TOTAL (before tax): $51,922

This number also doesn't include the chocolate Oscars, engraved Zippo lighters, meals prepared by French Laundry chef Thomas Keller, coffee from Nespresso, and treats from the Bouchon Bakery available for each guest. Shitty lighters and free Nespresso? Total value: priceless.

After a dinner filled with truffle lasagna and Casa Dragones, guests were also treated to an In-N-Out truck where, inspired by their good pal Henriot, they ordered:

• Hamburgers: 27
• Cheeseburgers: 865
• Double-Double burgers: 515
• Grilled-cheese sandwiches: 17
• Bags of chips: 567
• Drinks: 577

Also expensive, no doubt, but much more delicious than $4,000 worth of water.

[Image via AP]

Two 8-year-olds and a 9-year-old were busted for smoking marijuana in an elementary school boys' room last week.

Superintendent Leigh Shampain of California's Summerville School District confirmed the incident, but hasn't commented on how the boys will be punished. The kids were questioned by police on the day of the incident after a classmate totally narced them out, and the County Probation Department is now involved in the case.

Other students told local reporters they haven't seen the kids at school since that day. California's educational code says students can be suspended or expelled for smoking marijuana on campus.

Sonora, California police chief Mark Stinson told Reuters the kids had a pipe and "a very small amount" of marijuana that came from "several sources."

Stinson said the third-graders seemed to have very little smoking experience, and it didn't appear they had managed to get high before they were confronted in the bathroom.

[H/T: CBS SF, Photo Credit: JJ Studio/Shutterstock]

A 95-year-old WWII veteran just wanted to cheer on the runners who were passing by his house. But to his surprise, they were more interested in cheering for him—with many of the runners leaving the race to shake his hand and thank him for his service.

"They hugged me and kissed me and the young men shook my hands," the 95-year-old later told his neighbor—a reporter for the San Jose Mercury News—who caught part of the spontaneous tribute on her cell phone. "I never knew there were that many people that would do that."

"I never got recognition in my life," he added.

According to his neighbor, Joe is hard of hearing but "sharp." But sadly, his health is deteriorating:

He swims nearly every day at the YMCA or the senior center. Still, ambulances come and go from his house late at night when he feels his heart race and worries he's having a heart attack. He tells me from time to time he doesn't think he's going to live much longer. He's had a good long life, he says, and is ready to join his wife.

The runners were competing in an 8k to benefit the Pat Tillman Foundation in honor of the young NFL player who left his football career to join the Army after the 9/11 attacks. Tillman was killed in friendly fire in 2004. According to Joe's neighbor, swarms of people continued to approach him after she stopped taping.

"I thought the video caught a moment in time that was honest," his son Matt said. "There was nothing staged about it. It was an honest response from honest people. We don't see that too much."

He told the reporter that it was the most excited he's seen his father in a long time.

Miles Scott, the cancer-fighting five-year-old who was granted his wish of becoming a superhero for the day in November, was scheduled to appear at the Academy Awards on Sunday. However, his appearance was pulled the morning of the show with no explanation.

According to the International Business Times, Miles' mother, Natalie Scott, said the family traveled to Los Angeles to participate in the awards ceremony:

Miles – outfitted in a tuxedo — attended a rehearsal at the Dolby Theater on Saturday, but on Sunday morning the Scotts were told he would no longer be part of the ceremony.

"I don't know if they ran out of time, or if there was something about the segment they didn't like," Scott said. "It got pulled so quickly that we didn't have a lot of insight into what was going on."

While the family hasn't received any follow-up from the Academy about why the segment was pulled, they were offered an all-expenses paid trip to Disneyland instead.

There's speculation that pulling the segment had something to do with Spider-Man star Andrew Garfield, who was supposed to introduce Miles on stage as "the world's next superhero." However, Garfield—a planned presenter—was a no-show at the Oscars.

[Image via AP]

Charlene Ellet made headlines last week after a shoplifting arrest turned into a possession-of-meth arrest which somehow culminated in her and her brother making out in jail. Now Ellet's back behind bars, this time for choking her husband (who is not her brother).

Just a few days after she was released from her bonds (the metal kind, not the brother kind), police were again called to respond to Ellet, who had put her husband into a choke hold.

"Apparently there was a dispute over a cellular phone at the location and the male reported that the female assaulted him...She said he assaulted her, but deputies advised that his injuries were consistent with his report."

According to the police report, the two got into an argument in a motel room. The husband, whose name was withheld, had scratches, redness, and swelling that made it hard for him to talk.

They were at the same motel where Ellet told police she and her brother (who is not her husband) shared a room with her two young kids. Ellet's half-brother-from-the-same-mother told police that they would put up a partition or go into the bathroom so that the children wouldn't see them having sex.

The author of "How We Die" has died at age 83. Dr. Sherwin B. Nuland, who wrote that "the dignity we seek in dying must be found in the dignity with which we have lived our lives," passed away at home Monday. In his book, he said he would like to die peacefully, "surrounded by the people and the things I love."

A wealthy businessman is suing a Vegas casino, saying that he was too blackout for blackjack.

Fifty-two-year-old Mark Johnston dropped into the Downtown Grand casino to play some high-stakes pai gao poker and blackjack over Super Bowl weekend, dropping a cool half-million in the process.

But Johnston, who apparently "made his fortune" in car dealerships and real estate, says it's the Downtown Grand's problem—not his—because he was a sloppy, blackout drunk before he ever sat down to gamble.

He has been a Las Vegas regular for three decades, and says he came to the Grand during Super Bowl weekend at the invitation of the casino. He traveled with his girlfriend, but did most of his gambling alone. He drank in the limousine from the Las Vegas airport to the Grand on that Thursday and drank more during dinner with friends. The suit alleges that the Grand comped him dozens of drinks while he gambled away hundreds of thousands of dollars.

Allowing drunk patrons to gamble and serving obviously intoxicated patrons are both illegal under Nevada law. Johnston's lawyer says his client's story is bolstered by surveillance video and eyewitness testimony.

The Las Vegas Gaming Control Board is investigating.

[image via Shutterstock]

The South Texas judge who was caught on camera beating his disabled teenage daughter with a belt because she illegally downloaded files online finally lost his job this week after a Republican challenger defeated him in his reelection campaign.

Is this how the world ends—not with a bang but with a Wintour?

The bobbed icicle was spotted sitting in the second row at a Valentino show, but the most terrifying thing about the lightning-strikes event was that she did it to be nice.

Human embodiment of the wispy, intangible world of social media for Tyra Banks and prolific-fashion blogger Bryanboy (not real name) explains:

Anna Wintour: badass. Tight seating at Valentino, not enough space on the front row so she let her Editors sit front while she sat second.

— bryanboy (@bryanboy) March 4, 2014

PR folks asked her to move to front and she didn't budge. Respect.

— bryanboy (@bryanboy) March 4, 2014

According to reports, Wintour took the backseat to allow the Vogue writer covering the show for the magazine's website to have a better view.

[image via Instagram]