The executive director of Miami-Dade's Crime Stoppers defended the identity of his clients in court yesterday when, instead of turning over an anonymous tip to Judge Victoria Brennan, he began tearing up the paper and eating it.

The clip is a real marvel.

Judge Brennan found Richard Masten in contempt of court and could send him to jail for two weeks. However, Masten stands by his decision.

"We promise the people who give us information to solve murders, serious violent crimes in this community, that they can call with an assurance that they will remain anonymous and that nothing about them or their information would ever be compromised," he said. "The case today started creeping into that... it's not going to happen on my watch and I understood the consequences."

Masten was ordered to share the tip without the source—like a chip without the sauce—but maybe he was just confused. Or hungry.

We should all strive to love one thing as much as Zachary Boynton of Oneonta, N.Y. loves McDonald's. Last weekend, Boynton was so determined to eat at McDonald's that it took two separate arrests to stop him.

Boynton was first taken into custody around 1 a.m. last Sunday after driving into the back of the car stopped in front of him at a McDonald's drive-through (like, he really wanted McDonald's). Upon arriving at the scene, police determined Boynton was three times over the legal limit, so they arrested him and released him hours later to a sober driver.

That sober driver took Boynton home, but should have swung by McDonald's first. At 5 a.m., police again responded to a call at the McDonald's after Boynton inadvertently drove his car into the building. From there, he was taken to the hospital, presumably still having yet eaten any McDonald's.

Boynton was also arrested in November of last year for driving under the influence. He probably won't be driving again for a while. In the meantime, McDonald's should put him in an advertisement. Few people have ever wanted the company's meat things this badly.

[image via Getty]

Toronto mayor Rob Ford went on his YouTube talk show Ford Nation recently (co-hosted by his brother Doug Ford) to discuss meeting two celebrities: Jimmy Kimmel and Kevin Spacey. Of the two, who do you think the brothers find more favorable?

Kevin Spacey, to the Fords, is an "arrogant SOB." Rob Ford claims to not watch movies, so he doesn't actually know Spacey, but Doug Ford found his behavior at the Jimmy Kimmel program unsavory. How could this previously honorable, "incredible" actor deny the brothers Ford a photograph, when they are nothing but simple "common folk"?

Spacey responded to Ford Nation with the following tweet, crank Photoshop and all. And in case this made you wonder, yes, Rob Ford is still mayor.

When did Mayor Ford start doing what people tell him to do? All you had to do was ask, guys. Here’s your pic. pic.twitter.com/DtDTqAl8Lb

— Kevin Spacey (@KevinSpacey) March 15, 2014

TMZ has acquired video of the botched "golf tee in butt" stunt at a Playboy event that caused a model to sue Playboy and a radio host.

The clip, from the Playboy Golf Finals on March 30, 2012, shows Playboy Morning Show co-host Kevin Klein taking a swing at a ball on a tee placed in model Liz Dickson's butt. To be succinct, Klein does not hit it cleanly.

TMZ also got a photo of the aftermath. Dickson suffered a substantial bruise on her, uh, buttcheek.

Dickson is suing for $500,000 and "punitive damages." You can read the entire suit here:

Dickson

[TMZ]

Yesterday, CBS News acquired security camera footage from a building across the street from where a gas explosion in Harlem left eight dead and more than 70 people injured. The video shows the windows of the adjacent building being blown out as debris pours onto the street and nearly knocks over a man walking down the sidewalk.

[via CBS]

Cue Jay Leno's opening monologue in his dreams: "Archaeologists are saying they've found prehistoric fossils below a West Side subway station. Well, hey, I thought Elizabeth Taylor was buried in Hollywood! Ho ho ho."

While on a dig seventy feet below Wilshire Boulevard, paleontologist Kim Scott revealed that dinosaurs weren't the only creatures trekking through prehistoric Los Angeles.

Paleontologists have recovered mollusks, asphalt-saturated sand dollars, pieces of driftwood and Monterey cypress cones. For Scott, the most exciting finds have been a rock embedded with what appears to be part of a sea lion's mouth (perhaps 2 million years old) and a non-fossilized 10-foot limb from a digger pine tree that would look right at home today in Central California woodlands.

The images from Scott's team's revealing search can be found at the LA Times, and as writer Martha Groves so deftly put it, the earth has "burped up a bonanza of prehistoric swag." The find is astounding.

The swimming-pool-size shaft, 18 feet wide by 38 feet long, is yielding evidence from its depths of a cooler, wetter Pleistocene climate of 100,000 to 330,000 years ago, when Pacific Ocean waves lapped over what is now the bustling Miracle Mile. Materials from the upper 40 feet of the shaft range from modern era to 50,000 years old. Below that is "near shore" material from 100,000 to at least 330,000 years old, Scott said.

Efforts between the LA County Metropolitan Transportation Authority, the Page Museum, and Cogstone, where Scott works, are being made to preserve all of the findings. The project began as way to extend the subway line across LA's West Side, but has been slowed for the dig.

[Image via LA Times]

After it was announced last week that Zohydro—the painkiller ten times stronger than Vicodin —would become available in California markets this month, the makers of OxyContin have planned to submit their "abuse-resistant" painkiller to the FDA for approval.

The new pill, produced by Purdue Pharma, is abuse-resistant in its inability to be crushed for snorting or injecting. While backlash toward the introduction of Zohydro continues, the new pill, which will be submitted to the FDA later this year, has already made an impact.

Shares of Zogenix, the maker of Zohydro, plunged more than 20 percent after the announcement. Physicians would presumably be more likely to prescribe a harder-to-abuse form of hydrocodone, and the Food and Drug Administration could potentially pull Zogenix's drug off the market if it determines that a safer alternative is available.

Zohydro began shipping out to pharmacies last week.

[Image via AP]

According to Bloomberg (the news service, not the person), satellite data seen by U.S. officials indicates the "most likely" last-known position of Flight 370 was 1,000 miles west of Perth, Australia. What is 1,000 miles west of Perth? Water.

After inciting a riot at his Thursday SXSW show, Odd Future affiliate Tyler, The Creator was arrested at Austin-Bergstrom International Airport before he was able to board. The Austin Police Department had a warrant out for his arrest.

He has been charged with a Class A Misdemeanor. "Specifically, the subject encouraged a large crowd on more than one occasion to force themselves past venue employees controlling access at the venue which was already at full capacity."

According to SPIN's report of the show, Tyler directly encouraged people to push past authorities.

"All you guys back there that can't get in," he said — then implored the mob to bust down the gates. There was a split second when it seemed like the crowd wasn't going to do it, a possibility Tyler extinguished as he led the audience in a chant of "PUSH, PUSH, PUSH!"

And just like that, hundreds of people came rushing through the gates.

His bond is set at $25,000.

[Images via Fuse/Austin PD]

Malaysia's defense minister said on Sunday that the pilot of the aircraft communicated with air traffic control after its primary signaling system had been disabled, lending more credence to the theory that the plane was intentionally taken off course.

Fred Phelps, the one-time leader of the infamous "GOD HATES FAGS" church, is on his deathbed in Kansas. Hopefully, you can carry on with your day having learned of this terrible news.

Phelps' son Nathan, who left the church in 1980 and now lives in Canada working on behalf of LGBT rights, posted on Facebook late last night that his father is dying in a hospice in Topeka.

I've learned that my father, Fred Phelps, Sr., pastor of the "God Hates Fags" Westboro Baptist Church, was ex-communicated from the "church" back in August of 2013. He is now on the edge of death at Midland Hospice house in Topeka, Kansas.

I'm not sure how I feel about this. Terribly ironic that his devotion to his god ends this way. Destroyed by the monster he made.

I feel sad for all the hurt he's caused so many. I feel sad for those who will lose the grandfather and father they loved. And I'm bitterly angry that my family is blocking the family members who left from seeing him, and saying their good-byes.

The legacy Phelps will leave is of having turned his religion into a sideshow, and of having made the notion of the protest a farce. We may never know the extent to which Phelps realized that his church moved the "cause" backwards, or whether he even gave a shit.

But we know that above all the Westboro Baptist Church loved attention, and now its ex-leader will die quietly as the world spins uninterrupted.

[image of Fred Phelps via AP]

In the autonomous Crimean peninsula, voting is underway to decide if the region will secede from Ukraine entirely and become a part of Russia. The result of the vote is largely considered a forgone conclusion, and a number of Western leaders are threatening economic sanctions on Russia in the event of a severed Crimea.

The referendum in the largely Russian peninsula is being heavily guarded by Russian troops where voters are being presented with two questions:

"Are you in favor of the reunification of Crimea with Russia as part of the Russian Federation?" or "Are you in favor of restoring the 1992 Constitution and the status of Crimea as a part of Ukraine?"

The commission chair of Crimea is reporting a 63% turnout, but few pro-Ukraine voters have been spotted.

This @ukrpravda_news journo was allowed to vote in Crimea referendum. Even though she's a Russian citizen -@sosmaydan pic.twitter.com/GHip1Xf3S8

— Maxim Eristavi (@MaximEristavi) March 16, 2014

Several Ukrainian news websites - TSN, Segodnya, UNIAN, 1+1 - hit by massive DDoS attacks, claim it's to stop them writing about Crimea

— max seddon (@maxseddon) March 16, 2014

One of the inevitable results of the understood vote is that many non-Russian Crimean citizens are now leaving for other parts of Ukraine. Tamily Tasheva, a Crimean Tatar from Simferopol, told The Daily Beast:

"Women with children and older people are temporarily leaving Crimea for Kiev and Western Ukraine," Tasheva says. "They will be hosted in boarding houses and in volunteers' apartments for free. In the last five days, about 500 people have asked for information about asylum for us."

Protests in Moscow yesterday echoed the Western sentiment that Crimea should remain autonomous, where many expressed fears that a Russian Crimea would be the first step toward war between the nations.

"I love Ukraine - it's Putin who needs war and an empire, not me," said Dmitry Maksimov, a 29-year-old lawyer who held a bouquet of flowers dyed blue and yellow, the colors of the Ukrainian flag.

[Image via AP]

On Friday night, a comedian named Ari Teman rented out his Manhattan apartment on Airbnb to a man named David who said he was looking for a place for his family to stay while in New York for a wedding. What Teman accidentally discovered later was that his apartment was being prepared to host an orgy.

According to Teman, he handed the keys over to David late Friday afternoon. Then, he left his suitcase with his doorman and went to dinner before planning to head out of New York. When Teman returned to his building to retrieve his bag, he saw David in the lobby and overheard him telling others that "they're shutting us down."

Teman asked what was being "shut down," which he said brought a look of mortified recognition over David's face. Concerned and suspicious, Teman went back upstairs to his apartment, where he attempted to figure out what was going on. He opened his computer and Googled the Gmail address and phone number David had provided him during their correspondence on Airbnb. The search of the phone number brought up this tweet from February that advertised a "BBW Panty Raid Party" in New York.

From there, Teman discovered the Twitter feed of @TWINN_GREEN, who was advertising a "XXX Freak Fest" on Friday night at the location of Teman's building.

By that point, Teman had also already noticed damage to his furniture — some of which had been overturned — and musical equipment, as well as bags of condoms and liquor lying around that he said weren't his. Cops from the NYPD's 10th precinct were eventually called to clear the apartment.

When reached at the number listed in Munch Da Mouth's tweet, a man who identified himself as "David" insisted that he did nothing wrong. According to David, his rental agreement with Teman stated that he could have up to 50 guests (a claim Teman disputes), but he denies that he was having a party, anyway.

"I'm in no way, shape or form worried about this particular situation," David told me.

But David did confirm that he had agreed to rent the apartment from Teman, and he did answer the phone connected to the number advertising the "XXX Freak Fest" at Teman's building.

Teman said he's now in a discussion with his landlord over the future of the apartment, for which he has retained an attorney. But this isn't really a story about Ari Teman, David, or New York's XXX Freak Fests. And it's not really about our brave, new, tech-driven world — in which we can stay at strangers' apartments, catch rides in their cars, or merely shit in their toilets with a few taps of our phones — either.

To its credit, Airbnb's response to Teman was quick, almost absurdly so. Within 24 hours, per an email provided to Gawker by Teman, Airbnb had sent a locksmith to change his locks, made plans to put him up in a hotel for a week, and wired him $23,817 (of which Airbnb itself is insured, but nonetheless). Airbnb has apparently learned from its mistakes, which included hostile reactions from company backers to a woman whose apartment was pillaged by an Airbnb renter in 2011.

Really, this is (yet another) story about the power of social media in our everyday lives, just with a twist of BBW orgy. Had Teman Googled David's phone number before handing over the keys, he probably would have cancelled the agreement and saved everyone the trouble. If David's number wasn't plastered across Twitter, he and whomever wanted to pay $20 to enter his party could have fucked all over Teman's apartment in peace.

Instead, Teman ended up stuck in New York and displaced from his apartment. David did not get to throw his Freak Fest. They both have spent the past 48 hours entangled with lawyers and policemen. What a weekend it could have been.

UPDATE: Gawker has received the following statement from Airbnb:

Over 11 million guests have had a safe and positive experience on Airbnb and problems for hosts and guests are incredibly rare, but when they happen, we try to help make things right. We were appalled when we learned about this incident and we took immediate action to help this host. The individual who rented this space has been permanently removed from our site. We've reimbursed the host for damages to his apartment and ensured he has a new place to stay. In the days ahead, we'll continue to work with the host to assist him with his additional needs and we will work cooperatively with any law enforcement agencies that investigate this matter.

[top photo via Getty, first screenshot and photo of overturned couch via Ari Teman. You can read Teman's account of the situation on Tumblr.]

After Lady Gaga's vomit-inducing SXSW performance wherein a woman puked all over her in the name of Doritos , another pop star has taken issue with the performance art. Demi Lovato, who has struggled with an eating disorder herself, called Gaga's spectacle a glamorization of a real disease in a series of tweets.

Sad... As if we didn't have enough people glamorizing eat disorders already. �� Bottom line, it's not "cool" or "artsy" at all.

— demetria lovato (@ddlovato) March 14, 2014

Would you let someone bring a needle and shoot up on you? Addiction is addiction.

— demetria lovato (@ddlovato) March 14, 2014

It's not "shade" and it's not "hate". But someone has to come forward and say it and I'll take the heat for it. ✌️

— demetria lovato (@ddlovato) March 14, 2014

So it's cool if I do a speech about self-harm and then proceed to watch someone cut themselves on my stage? ... http://t.co/XE4CWEYtDE

— demetria lovato (@ddlovato) March 14, 2014

Putting the word ART in it isn't a free card to do whatever you want without consequences. RT ... http://t.co/M9mjtOD5Sa

— demetria lovato (@ddlovato) March 14, 2014

Ps. I'm still a little monster myself. ✌️✌️✌️������

— demetria lovato (@ddlovato) March 15, 2014

Gaga seems nonplussed.

New Leather jacket, hand painted sad clown smoking your Applause. #MonsterStyle -

— CREATIVE REBELLION (@ladygaga) March 15, 2014

[Image via AP]

It's understood that dogs aren't the most intelligent of creatures, but damn they're cute, so when one little pup named Oreo was stranded forty feet down a 90-foot cliff in Santa Rosa, California, a brave worker came to its rescue.

After trying and failing to coax the dog up the cliff itself, the local fire crew was called in.

Pilot Paul Bradley flew the chopper low over the cliff a couple times to make sure Oreo wouldn't be spooked by the sight. She was fine. So Bradley landed nearby, and Deputy Henri Boustany strapped himself onto the end of a 100-foot long line.

This isn't the first dog rescue for the Henry-1 helicopter crew. According to the New York Times, "'The 'Henry-1' crew launched knowing from prior experiences that bystanders will often put themselves in peril in an attempt to save animals in distress and become victim's themselves.'"

18-year-old Mason Endres was one of 23 people injured at South By Southwest early Thursday morning when a man plowed through a barrier and into a crowd , killing 2. This weekend, one of her favorite bands, Jared and the Mill, played a few songs at her bedside.

According to a doctor interviewed by the Austin American-Statesman, Endres suffered a number of major injuries, including a cervical spine fracture, a broken nose, a broken femur, and a severed artery in her opposite leg. The doctor also noted that Endres was concussed during the accident — in which her friend describes her as being hit "like a bowling pin" — and doesn't remember much of what happened.

The same will not be said for this moment.

[via Austin American-Statesman, h/t Noisey]

In what has become one of the most highly publicized cases of sexual assault in the military, U.S. Army Brigadier General Jeffrey Sinclair will plead guilty to lesser charges in exchange for a dismissal of certain accusations, including the claim that Sinclair threatened to kill his mistress and her family.

The case, which came to light over two years ago, was delayed "indefinitely" as recently as two weeks ago when Judge Colonel James Pohl discovered that politics fueled the decision to court-marshal the general. But the new pleas were shared by the New York Times and are expected to enter into court at Fort Bragg tomorrow morning.

Sinclair's guilty plea will ostensibly absolve him of the sexual assault charges, instead reducing his plea to sexual misconduct, among other more minor charges.

The new guilty pleas expected to be entered Monday include disobeying a commander's order not to contact his mistress, using demeaning language to refer to female officers and using a curse word when confronted about that conduct, and misusing his government travel charge card.

Prior to this shift, Sinclair could have faced life in prison for "accusations that he twice forced his longtime mistress into oral sex, threatened to kill her and her family, and performed consensual but 'open and notorious sexual acts' with her in a parked car in Germany and on a hotel balcony in Tucson."

Now, Sinclair's punishment could be as minimal as a $5,000 fine, as defense lawyers are using this 2011 case as an example:

They cite the recent case of an Army brigadier general who lost his command and paid a $5,000 fine but was allowed to keep his rank after it was determined he had assaulted a girlfriend and committed adultery.

Sinclair is also expected to retire as a lieutenant colonel, which will cost him over "$1 million in retirement pay." The trial has seen a spate of issues, as the captain who accused Sinclair of sexual assault may have lied under oath at a pretrial hearing.

[Image via Huffington Post]

Hey, I hope you had a nice weekend with all the trappings of springtime preparations at your disposal: baseball season's beginning, St. Patrick's Day sloppiness, maybe a pair of shorts! Did you wear shorts? Well, guess what—it's over.

Tomorrow morning, more snow is expected to pummel St. Louis to Philadelphia, with even a few flurries touching down at the infamous St. Patrick's Day celebrations in New York.

According to USA Today:

Rain late Sunday from the south will meet cold air from the Great Lakes and turn to snow and sleet in St. Louis, Louisville and Cincinnati, according to Accuweather.com. Virginia and Maryland should get a few inches, with up to a half-foot in the mountains, Accuweather says.

If you had plans on traveling, you might have to reconsider.

In the Washington area, Dulles and Reagan National airports were bracing for the storm with snow-removal teams waiting. But the airports warned that flights could be canceled and urged travelers to check with airlines about specific flights.

But if you're the intelligent kind, who doesn't live anywhere near this unholy section of the Midwest to East Coast, then you're probably laughing. Go on, laugh. Everyone else, feel free to sound off in the comments about your anger/fears/frustrations. Take it out on the jet stream if you have to.

[Image via AP]

In a particularly unsurprising result, Crimea has motioned to secede from Ukraine and join Russia with 95.5% of voters in the referendum in favor of the secession. Western leaders have called the vote "illegal" and have threatened economic sanctions on Russia in response.

Rapper Tyler, The Creator was arrested yesterday on misdemeanor charges of inciting a riot at his SXSW show, and now there's video of him encouraging a crowd of hundreds of fans to force their way into the Austin venue.

The clips were uploaded to Instagram and clearly show the Odd Future rapper encouraging the crowd to force its way past the venue's bouncers. A club employee told KXAN one of the fans punched him in the face.

It's not the first time the rapper has been accused of inciting violence.

Tyler and members of the Odd Future collective were denied a visa to travel to New Zealand in February after officials there said they were a potential "public threat" because of past troubles, "including incidents at past performances in which they have incited violence." They pointed to a 2011 incident in which police were called to a comic book store in Boston where fans became unruly.

The charges carry a penalty of up to one year in jail and a $4,000 fine.