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Hoarder Found Dead Under "Wall of Trash" After 2-Day Search

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Hoarder Found Dead Under "Wall of Trash" After 2-Day Search

It took two days of digging for police to find the body of a hoarder who died at home under the mountain of trash he had collected. The 67-year-old Dallas man was reported missing Tuesday.

Because police couldn't enter the man's home through what neighbors described as a 10-foot wall of trash, they had to cut their way in through the ceiling. Even after they made it into the house, the search took days because dogs couldn't smell the man through the scent of dead animals.

Police found a dead raccoon and two dead dogs before they eventually uncovered the homeowner.

"They've been pulling out jugs and jugs of urine and feces and just the things that he collected is amazing," a neighbor told CBS Dallas. "Everyone knew there was a hoarding situation. No one knew the extent."

Hazard crews are now at work on the property, and neighbors have been advised to prepare for an infestation of rats once the house is demolished.

Miraculously, the man's beloved Chihuahua, Buddy, was found alive inside the house. He's been cleaned up and adopted by a friend.

[Photo Credit: WFAA]


The New Owner of Newsweek Believes Homosexuality Can Be Cured

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The New Owner of Newsweek Believes Homosexuality Can Be Cured

Last year, IBT Media acquired Newsweek from IAC, hoping to use the magazine’s name to redeem the company’s reputation as a soulless content farm controlled, in part, by right-wing Moonie leader David Jang. In a lengthy profile of IBT founder Johnathan Davis, Guardian reporter Jon Swaine reveals that the 31-year-old entrepreneur believes in redeeming gay people, too:

In a Facebook post in February 2013, Davis described as “shockingly accurate” an op-ed article written by Christopher Doyle, the director of the International Healing Foundation (IHF), which works to convert gay people. Davis said it “cuts like a hot knife through a buttery block of lies.”

In the Christian Post article Davis linked to, ex-gay activist Christopher Boyle argues that “there is a good chance a person will experience SSA”—same-sex attraction—if that person experiences “sexual initiation and/or sexual abuse” as a child, and that “activists in the psychological and counseling communities” repeatedly silence researchers who suggest that homosexuality is harmful and can be cured. (Both assertions have been repeatedly debunked.)

When asked about the Facebook post, which he eventually deleted, Davis told the Guardian: “Whether I do or not [believe that], I’m not sure how that has any bearing on my capacity here as the founder of the company. I’m not sure how it’s relevant. People believe all sorts of weird things. But from a professional capacity, it’s unrelated.”

Heaven is real.

Update: A few hours after this story was published, Davis sent IBT employees a company-wide memo in which he states that “our company, myself included, has and always will respect diversity in our workplace.”

To contact the author of this post, email trotter@gawker.com

[Photo credit: Shutterstock]

Zen Koans Explained: "Learning to Be Silent"

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Zen Koans Explained: "Learning to Be Silent"

If a toad sits in the sun, why does he do it? "To be warm," you might say. But have you asked the toad? It's possible that you have, but not probable.

The koan: "Learning to Be Silent"

The pupils of the Tendai school used to study meditation before Zen entered Japan. Four of them who were intimate friends promised one another to observe seven days of silence.

On the first day all were silent. Their meditation had begun auspiciously, but when night came and the oil lamps were growing dim one of the pupils could not help exclaiming to a servant: "Fix those lamps."

The second pupil was surprised to hear th first one talk. "We are not supposed to say a word," he remarked.

"You two are stupid. Why did you talk?" asked the third.

"I am the only one who has not talked," concluded the fourth pupil.

The enlightenment: The fifth pupil, who did not talk, has been completely forgotten.

This has been "Zen Koans Explained." The toad said.

[Photo: Shutterstock]

How can the National Park Service "reintroduce the national parks … to a new generation of Americans

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How can the National Park Service "reintroduce the national parks … to a new generation of Americans"? It can start by making sure its workforce looks more like America: "The staffing at the Park Service has remained perpetually and overbearingly white throughout its century-long history."

David Samson, the 74-year-old chairman of the Port Authority of New York and Jersey, has resigned.

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David Samson, the 74-year-old chairman of the Port Authority of New York and Jersey, has resigned.

The rainbow flag flies over a building next to Nelson's Column monument in Trafalgar Square in centr

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The rainbow flag flies over a building next to Nelson's Column monument in Trafalgar Square in central London on Friday. It marks the start of same-sex weddings in the UK, which will begin at midnight on Saturday. Image via Lefteris Pitarakis/AP.

Texas Monthly editor Jake Silverstein is the new editor-in-chief of The New York Times Magazine.

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Texas Monthly editor Jake Silverstein is the new editor-in-chief of The New York Times Magazine. According to Politico, Silvertein started out as “a reporter for the Big Bend Sentinel, a weekly newspaper in Marfa, Texas.”

​Lime Prices Hit Historic Highs, Panic Ensues

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​Lime Prices Hit Historic Highs, Panic Ensues

The market has soured on cheap citrus: In the past year, the price of limes—or, as experts are calling them now, "green gold"— has skyrocketed, reaching heights never before seen.

Some places, like Texas, have seen prices quadruple in just the last few weeks alone; nationwide, the prices have more than doubled in the past year.

"We're at an unprecedented price point," Ronnie Cohen, the vice president of sales for Vision Import Group, a produce importer based in New Jersey, told USA TODAY. Forty pound boxes cost about $40 last year; now, they're more than $100, Cohen said.

"This is something we've never seen for any fruit or vegetable," a buyer for Hardie's Fruit and Vegetable Co. in Dallas said, adding that now he pays more than $100 per box, compared to just $20 last month.

"The prices are insane," Dave Samuels, of Ingardia Bros. Produce in Santa Ana, Ca., told the Press-Enterprise.

Bad weather combined with supplies hoarding has caused a crop shortage in Mexico, raising prices and, according to Cohen, causing some in the "lime community" to describe the fruit as "oro verde," or "green gold."

Experts are divided on how long the crisis will last. Cohen said the harvest in May will bring some "price relief," though the wholesalers who spoke with Reuters said the high prices will continue indefinitely.

Those hardest hit by the shortage are the Mexican restaurant owners in Texas, many of whom were eager to share their sense of lime dread with reporters.

"I'm still gonna buy limes," Joe Lancarte, a Dallas restaurant owner, told NBC Dallas-Fort Worth. "I'm just not gonna put them on every single glass, probably, if it gets to that point."

[Image via Shutterstock]


Allen Ginsberg Teaches You How to Give a Blowjob

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Allen Ginsberg Teaches You How to Give a Blowjob

Vocativ has published a lengthy profile of Marcus Ewert, who bedded not one Beat, but two: Allen Ginsberg and William Burroughs. This all started in 1988 — Ewert was 17, Ginsberg (who'd later come out as a member of NAMBLA) was 62, and Burroughs was 74. Ginsberg had his way with Ewert and then passed him onto his friend Burroughs, whom Ginsberg decided could use a good lay.

If that all sounds like a great time, get a load of Ginsberg's blowjob technique, as revealed in this quote by Ewert:

Basically he blew me; that was a big part of it. And he was really good at it. He did this thing where he had his hand and his mouth working at the same time, and he'd take time out to explain to me what he was doing. He was like, 'See, you do this with your hand so that way your partner's penis is always being touched, and when your mouth is off it, your hand is there and it keeps it warm and it keeps the sensation constant, and that shows real consideration to your partner.' It's very Allen that he's always peppering anything he's saying with little tutorials. But I was totally down for that—it was what I'd signed up for. I wanted the tutorial, I wanted to understand how the fucking world worked. I wanted somebody to help me and mentor me.

(The technique works, by the way.)

As for sex with Burroughs, Ewert says, "I think it was just hand jobs and humping."

[Image via Getty]

That Flair Guy from Office Space Lost a Lawsuit Over "Illegal Flair"

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That Flair Guy from Office Space Lost a Lawsuit Over "Illegal Flair"

The actor who played Brian, the flair-obsessed Chotchkie's waiter from Office Space, has lost a lawsuit in which he accused 20th Century Fox of using his image to sell "illegal flair."

Todd Duffey was specifically referring to the Office Space Box of Flair, a kit that contains 15 of the 37 buttons you'd need to be a model Chotchkie's employee like Brian.

That Flair Guy from Office Space Lost a Lawsuit Over "Illegal Flair"

He claimed that Fox owed him for using his photo on the product's packaging and the enclosed "Guide to Flair" book, and using his image as the flair guy to sell the product. He wanted damages, attorneys' fees, and "the destruction of the illegal flair."

No dice. Duffey signed away all his promotional rights for Office Space in a day player agreement, including the right to use images from his performance to sell crappy spin-off products.

Here's U.S. district court judge J. Paul Oetken expressing himself in a decision to dismiss the case:

"There is only one reasonable way to read the relevant terms: Duffey granted Cubicle all rights to 17 images of his performance in Office Space, including the right to use his image on Office Space merchandise."

In case you're curious what else Duffey's been up to since Office Space, he wrote a piece for L.A. Weekly last year about his life as "That Guy." (Spoilers: Typecasting. Free beer.)

[H/T: Consumerist]

Airbnb Is Suddenly Begging New York City to Tax Its Hosts $21 Million

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Airbnb Is Suddenly Begging New York City to Tax Its Hosts $21 Million

Now that Airbnb is a $10 billion soon-to-be-public corporation, the outlaw of the sharing economy is trying to go legit at the expense of its hosts. Literally.

The company, which lets users rent space in apartments, homes, yurts, etc. sent a letter to Mayor Bill de Blasio this week suggesting that hosts pay the 15 percent lodging tax that typically applies to hotels, which amounts to at least $21 million a year.

CEO Brian Chesky has told regulators that he would be willing to let hosts pay the occupancy tax before. But this is the first time that the company has ever revealed "estimates on how much tax revenue its New York hosts might generate," reports The Wall Street Journal.

Six years later, New York has lost millions in potential tax dollars while Airbnb gained hundreds of millions in venture capital, with hundreds of millions more to come . But with a possibility of an IPO looming, Airbnb is getting proactive about what would end up in the "Risk Factors" section. A copy of the letter, obtained by Valleywag, woos de Blasio by suggesting the taxes could go toward his efforts to combat homelessness:

But what's even worse is that separate New York laws also prevent us from collecting taxes from our hosts and presenting that money to New York. We need to fix those laws now, so that no more time is wasted.

While many companies look for loopholes to avoid paying taxes, we want to work with leaders in New York to ensure that the Airbnb community pays its fair share. Over the next twelve months, we believe those taxes would easily reach the $21 million needed to pay for your rental assistance program. But we need help from you and other leaders in New York government to clarify and improve the tax laws now on the books so that we can legally collect and remit those taxes.

With your leadership and support, we can change these outdated and problematic laws. Airbnb hosts brought in more than $632 million to New York over a recent 12-month period alone, and changing the laws to allow for easier collection of taxes would just add to those benefits.

The company, which takes a 6 to 12 percent fee, isn't quite as saintly as their plea makes out. Airbnb is asking to change the law to let the company collect and remit from hosts, not volunteering to take it out of their own bottom line (lol capitalism). But either way, that 15 percent is going to get passed down to the renter.

What's more, this move comes as the hotel industry is putting pressure on Airbnb to uphold the same fire and safety standards they have to adhere to, notes The Wall Street Journal. Meanwhile, the taxing of multi-billion corporations had already occurred to local authorities in 2013:

[David Hantman, Airbnb's head of public policy] said Airbnb was also trying to tackle safety concerns by establishing a new requirement for all rentals to have smoke and carbon-monoxide detectors by year's end.

New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman last year subpoenaed information on about 15,000 New York-area hosts to determine if any were paying hotel taxes. Airbnb filed a motion in state Supreme Court to block the subpoena, calling it unreasonably broad. The Albany court was supposed to hear arguments on the matter Thursday, but that hearing was postponed until April 22. Mr. Hantman said in a blog entry that the two sides are in discussions to reach an out-of-court agreement.

Airbnb isn't the only Silicon Valley startup conveniently cleaning up its act after a multi-billion valuation and global reach. Uber and Bitcoin are looking at lot less libertarian these days. But there's another snag in this peace offering, according to The Wall Street Journal:

Sam Himmelstein, a New York attorney who represents tenants, said that in some cases the tax could create additional documentation, making it easier for landlords to evict tenants who broke building rules. Most buildings require landlord permission before subletting.

New York is model city for the Airbnb's legal battles. Brace yourself, San Francisco.

To contact the author of this post, please email nitasha@gawker.com.

Gooks Don't Get Redskins Joke

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Gooks Don't Get Redskins Joke

Wednesday's episode of the Colbert Report, a satirical television program in which Stephen Colbert satirically plays a conservative buffoon, featured a segment on actual buffoon Dan Snyder's Washington Redskins Original Americans Foundation , which was announced this week amid renewed protest against the team's nickname. The organization, according to the team's press release, will "offer genuine opportunities for Tribal communities." Of course, if Snyder had had the courage of his convictions, he would've called the group the Washington Redskins Foundation for Redskins. But in any case he came off as nothing so much as a man buying an indulgence for sexual deviancy with a check signed by his penis. It was pretty funny.

Anyway, during the segment, Colbert made a callback to a 2005 episode of the show, in which Colbert, in character as a satirical conservative talk-show buffoon, was "caught" making racist jokes about Asians. After the callback, Colbert, in character, said he would atone for his racism by establishing the Ching Chong Ding Dong Foundation for Sensitivity to Orientals or Whatever. The satirical buffoon would make like the actual buffoon. He would try to buy an indulgence, and in so doing he would sin anew. The joke worked because the comedian had chosen a slur of similar pitch and degree to "Redskins"—or "gooks," for that matter—whose absurdity would be plain to any viewer, racist and non-racist alike, one whose earnest usage nowadays elicits no more than sigh of pity. It was pretty funny.

After the show, the official Colbert Report Twitter account—which is always in character and not controlled by Colbert himself—sent out a now-deleted tweet that read: "I am willing to show #Asian community I care by introducing the Ching-Chong Ding-Dong Foundation for Sensitivity to Orientals or Whatever." That's when this happened:

Suey Park is, for lack of a better term, a Twitter activist. So it matters, to whatever extent things like this matter, when she starts a hashtag. Whether Park didn't get the target of the joke, failed to understand the basic premise of the show (unlikely, since she considered herself a fan at one point), or was just bent on manufacturing outrage isn't clear. But the root of Park's issue with the Colbert Report doesn't really matter, because her tweet riled up the perpetually riled-up segment of Twitter, and the #CancelColbert hashtag was soon flooded with a mind-warping mix of left-wingers and Asian activists refusing to understand satire and right-wing zealots who jumped on the opportunity to funnel as much false outrage as possible in Colbert's direction, all of this awfulness culminating in Dave Zirin showing his ass on Twitter. It was pretty stupid.

We will bet all the money in our pockets against all the money in Dan Snyder's that there was no one happier last night than Snyder himself, who saw the lampooning of his half-a-loaf measures to atone for his team's nickname give way to the willful misapprehensions of a single Korean-American shit-stirrer. Snyder had hired Lanny Davis to launch a PR campaign that would somehow take the stink off his doomed defense of a racist name, but now he had a friend in Suey Park, too, who in focusing on her own claim of racial grievance—what happened to intersectionality?—moved the debate away from the issue of Native American nicknames and onto the question of whether Snyder's critics are taking an appropriate tone. That is exactly where Davis and Snyder want to see it go.

The two authors of this post happen to be Korean-American—one of them, like Suey Park, is a Korean-American from Illinois. We find Suey Park's reading of the joke to be, as the activists like to say, incredibly problematic; it flattens out all meaning and pretends, in effect, that there is no ironic distance between Jonathan Swift's satire and actual cannibalism, not to mention that it's tighter-assed than life itself, as a funny white man once said. We find it even more problematic that she has created the misdirection that Snyder usually pays good money to Lanny Davis to provide.

If Suey Park wants somebody to get pissed at, she should consult Dave McKenna's indispensable "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder." There, she'll find the following:

"Emulate Charlie Chan": What Asian actors trying out for a mascot job at Snyder-run Six Flags were allegedly told during 2008 auditions. After the 2006 firing of Mr. Six, the longtime mascot Snyder deemed "creepy," the theme park chain's marketing team hired a Japanese actor to scream "More flags! More fun!" in a vaguely Asian accent in TV commercials. The Chicago chapter of the Japanese American Citizens League, which publicized the "Charlie Chan" angle, was among the advocacy groups critical of the effort. The campaign was canceled very shortly after its debut.

#CancelSnyder. Trend it.

The detrimental effects of America's class system from birth to death, illustrated in 18 charts.

Here Are Some Sheep Storming the Louvre

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You don't really need context to enjoy a dozen sheep (and one sheepdog) running through the halls of the Louvre, but here it is anyway.

Friday's "sheepstorm" was a protest by France's Farmers' Federation against reforms to the European Union's Common Agricultural Policy. They fear cuts to subsidies for smaller farms will speed the industrialization of agriculture and cost farmers their jobs.

"What we can see today is a desire on the part of the agricultural ministry to impose a marginalising policy which will get rid of farmers so we came here to say we don't belong to a museum and that our place is in the countryside, where we can revitalize the countryside, create jobs and develop quality produce, that's why we came here today," said a spokesman.

Officials at the Louvre said no one was arrested and no artwork was damaged.

President Putin called President Obama Friday afternoon to discuss possible diplomatic solutions to


It's Finally Going to Rain in California

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It's Finally Going to Rain in California

The Weather Prediction Center predicts that up to seven inches of rain could fall across parts of California over the next couple of days, bringing much-needed relief to a state ravaged by drought since the summer of 2011.

The entire state of California is in some level of drought, with almost 75% of the state experiencing an "extreme to exceptional drought" according to the U.S. Drought Monitor.

It's Finally Going to Rain in California

The last time any significant rain fell in California was at the beginning of March, when up to three inches of rain fell in parts of the Golden State. While the heaviest stuff won't fall over the worst of the drought conditions, any precipitation will help bridge the gap.

While much of the Pacific Coast will see some precious sky water this weekend, the Sierras will get between one to two feet of snow, bringing white stuff to an area desperately in need of it. California's Sierras have a snowpack that's between 14% and 32% of where it should be this time of year.

The benefits of the downpour won't last, unfortunately. The Climate Prediction Center predicts higher-than-normal chances for below-average precipitation across California over the next three months.

[Images via WPC and U.S. Drought Monitor]

[Corrected to reflect that roughly 75% of the state is in "extreme to exceptional" drought, not solely "exceptional."]

Scalia, in Brooklyn, Says He Can't Judge Hate or the NSA

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Scalia, in Brooklyn, Says He Can't Judge Hate or the NSA

Antonin Scalia, the longest-serving active justice of the Supreme Court, has a great deal of charm at his disposal, in person. From a distance, it's easy to imagine Scalia as a sort of aloof, smoldering demon, throwing cruel barbs at popular notions about justice and progress. Yet he is dear friends with Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

Nicholas Allard, the dean of the Brooklyn Law School, mentioned that friendship last Friday, on the stage of the opera house of Brooklyn Academy of Music, before bringing Scalia out to meet the crowd. The dean also mentioned that Scalia has written more concurring opinions than any other justice in the history of the court, along with his copious body of dissents. Grumpy and dismissive as his official persona may be, Scalia wants to be heard.

And the crowd wanted to hear Scalia. The event, in which the Fox News host and former judge Andrew Napolitano would be asking the justice questions, had been relocated from the law school campus to the opera house to accommodate demand. Two wooden chairs with padded seats waited, on an Oriental rug.

Scalia took the stage with an arm-swinging walk and took the chair at stage left. He wore a suit with narrow pinstripes; his necktie was yellow; the top of his dark hair has gone white. As he settled into his chair, he kicked out both feet, a childlike movement. He kicked them out again. Maybe his legs were stiff.

Napolitano is a dear friend of Scalia's as well. He supplied an introduction after the introduction, in which he told a story about how the two of them had been dining together in a restaurant once and some of his own fans had come over to greet him, completely ignoring the famous and powerful justice at the table. TV professionals have a way of telling stories like these.

Then they were off, with Napolitano gently goading Scalia about the idea that American law might recognize certain inherent transcendent rights, so that Scalia could cheerfully reject the concept, in favor of his own doctrine of originalism. "You're a big natural-law freak," Scalia said. That, the justice said, is the province of philosophers and theologians and other specialists, of which he is not one.

"I'm a lawyer," Scalia said.

The gist of Scalia's legal philosophy, as he wishes it to be understood, is that whatever abstract and universal ideas may have inspired the Founders were codified into the Constitution, at which point their abstract or universal nature ceased to apply. All that remained, going forward, was the specific text of the Constitution and subsequent legislation: "I enforce American law, and it's up to the American people to conform that to natural law."

Scalia salted his remarks with similarly tidy constructions: "The rule of democracy is the majority rules." "The text is the text." "A liberty is a liberty." At the bottom of every hotly contested issue, he finds a self-evident principle, demonstrating that there is nothing even to be contested.

"Did the Eighth Amendment bar the death penalty?" he asked at one point. "Not a hard question." The people who wrote the Eighth Amendment practiced the death penalty, ergo its prohibition of "cruel and unusual punishments" could not possibly exclude capital punishment. The only question, he said later on, is "Is the electric chair any more cruel than death by hanging?"—the presumption being that the answer was clearly that it was not.

The rhetorical underpinning of all this was Scalia's notion of humility. Again and again, he returned to describing himself as a lawyer—that is, a mere technician, bound to work only with the textual tools he had been provided with. "What prepared me to decide these cosmic moral questions?" he asked. "Harvard Law School?"

It was a good question, but not as expansive as it could have been. Theology and philosophy are not the only technical specialties in the academy; people also spend years training to become historians or linguists. One might deem those skills essential to understanding precisely why documents drafted by a committee of educated 18th-century men in the former British colonies used certain words and phrases and not others. Yet Harvard Law doesn't give out Ph.Ds in those disciplines, either.

That lack of expertise didn't prevent Scalia from going on an extended disquisition on the significance of the word "the" in the Bill of Rights—a critically important word, in his reading. Americans do not enjoy "freedom of speech," but "the freedom of speech"; that is, the Founders, in the process of converting abstract law to a fixed code, guaranteed only "what was the right of Englishmen in 1791."

Not that Scalia isn't willing to take a broader view. "No one should be a strict constructionist," he said. "That is stupid. Texts should not be interpreted strictly, they should be interpreted reasonably." So: "The reasonable meaning of the First Amendment is freedom to communicate, whether you do it by semaphore or by burning an American flag."

The flag-burning subject gave Scalia a chance to demonstrate his personal modesty. "I would send that guy to jail so fast if I were king," he said. The flag-burner who came before the court in Texas v. Johnson, he said, was "a bearded weirdo, sandals, long hair and everything." But the sensibilities of Scalia the opinionated human had to yield to the textual restrictions on Scalia the lawyer. "I am not king," he said, cheerfully throwing up his hands.

Scalia used his hands constantly as he spoke. He is a gifted extratextual communicator, his words constantly shaded by his tone, his gestures, and the comic application of his stern, heavy-lidded gaze. Frequently, he spoke ironically or from an assumed persona, so that the audience understood that he meant something opposite to or aslant from his literal words. He cited the teaching powers of "Harvard Law School, or even Yale Law School," in a way that clearly treated the high end of legal academia as ridiculous, even as he seemed to endorse the hierarchy among elite schools.

But he did all this in a venue where video and audio recording were forbidden. So you'll have to take my word for it. He was funny, even if the evidence is not necessarily there in the text.

Ultimately, Scalia's legal humility is meant for other people. It's his fellow justices who keep overreaching, failing to recognize the commonsense limits on their power. He clings to his integrity, in a neatly closed intellectual loop. Originalism, he said, "is really the only possible criterion for how a judge should apply the Constitution....What other possible criterion is there?"

Obviously his colleagues must believe that there are other criteria, but Scalia excludes those possibilities. He may delight in Ginsburg's company, but he does not even try to reach her on legal matters.

"I have never discussed legal philosophy in depth with any of my colleagues," he said. He theatrically imagined the result, if he did: "'My God, Nino, you're right!'" His meaning was that he did not expect the other justices ever to say any such thing.

"No, it's too late," he said. "It's too late for them and their generation."

So he makes his arguments after the fact, for posterity. "I write my dissents for the students at law schools," he said.

It was sometimes peculiar which matters struck Scalia as airtight, and which did not. In another aside on language, he meditated on the absurdity of "substantive due process": "The world is divided into substance and procedure," he said. (Recall, Scalia is not a trained philosopher.) Substantive process was inherently nonsensical. "It's the opposite of procedural substance," he said. The little word "due," floating in the middle in a cloud of unexamined assumptions, went unexamined.

Nor did he convincingly articulate why it was reasonable to interpret the First Amendment's protection of "speech" broadly, but the Fourth Amendment's protection of "persons, houses, papers, and effects" narrowly. He ticked of those those four items multiple times, even using his fingers, to express the formal limits on privacy.

One of those recitations came up when Napolitano raised the question of the secret court proceedings that govern the NSA's surveillance. "I don't want to get myself recused," Scalia said. He went on to argue, though, that the court had brought disaster on itself long before when it decided that wiretaps fell under the Fourth Amendment. Now, he said, decisions about the surveillance state must be made by the branch of government "least competent" to make them.

"My court doesn't know diddly about the degree of the threat," he said.

Originalist modesty, then, would apparently demand that the NSA's high-tech Panopticon be allowed to gaze without limit. But in the question-and-answer period, a different possibility came up. Why, a student from NYU asked, wouldn't data on a computer count among a person's "effects"?

"Ooh!" Scalia said. "Ooh! I'd better not answer... It's a really good question. That's fun."

Here, for a moment, was the Scalia of the 21st century, the author of the majority opinion that said that looking at the outside of a house with thermal imaging, for the purpose of picking out what was inside, constituted a search. "It may be effects," he said. "Don't you think that may be effects?"

It was little bit nice and a much bigger bit dismaying. The Supreme Court, on both wings and its center, is populated by people with limited experience of modernity. Search-and-seizure cases are often where this shows up (four justices, including the liberal John Paul Stevens, had disagreed with Scalia's view that thermal imaging would require a warrant). Even so, till this moment, had the possibility really never crossed Scalia's mind that in a world where everything is done by computer, someone's "effects"—let alone "papers"—might be virtual?

This is how a mind, even a clever one, ends up working when it's stuck in a cloister. The final question of the night came from a student who asked Scalia about whether his history of opinions resisting gay rights contributed to the "demeaning and persecution" of sexual minorities. He spoke in a nervous rush, with a trembling voice and none of the justice's ease of manner.

The question—"Is that a question?"—was "ridiculous," Scalia told him. Scalia did not agree with the conclusion that his legal opinions, his reading of the limits of the text, could have "promoted hate in America or abroad."

"If that provokes hate—I can't imagine how it would," Scalia said. "But hate whom you like."

[Photo by Damion Edwards Photography for Brooklyn Law School]

Los Angeles, Again With The Earthquakes

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Los Angeles, Again With The Earthquakes

A magnitude-5.1 earthquake blew Los Angeles' high last night, striking at 9:09pm local time for about 30 seconds, with at least five aftershocks ranging 2.7-3.6. Authorities across all affected counties have confirmed gas leaks, water main breaks, and a rock slide near the earthquake epicenter around Brea in Orange County, California, just 20 miles south of L.A.

The quake rung as far south as San Diego, as far north as Ventura County, and as far east as Palm Springs.

While confirming a few minor roadside injuries and severe property damage that's displaced as many as 50 homeowners, police and firefighter crews have not linked any deaths to the quake. Nonetheless, there's been an outpouring of sympathy and support for the residents most affected.

Citizen journalists have shared footage from the scene.

Former Porn Actress Booted From Neo-Nazi Party For Miscegenation

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Former Porn Actress Booted From Neo-Nazi Party For Miscegenation

German actress Ina Groll left the pornography industry in December, re-inventing herself as a cheerleader for the National Democratic Party (NPD), Germany's premier Nazi cosplay club. Now she's been kicked out of the NPD because some horny skinhead onanist found a clip of her having sex with a black guy.

Over the past few months Groll's social media presence has been defined by hate-speech directed towards Muslims, Gypsies, and immigrants. Groll (a.k.a. Kitty Blair a.k.a. Miss Blair) describes herself on both Facebook and Twitter as "Frei - Sozial - Nazional" ('Free - Socialist - Nationalist').

(Incidentally, the German word 'groll' means 'resentment' in English. Neat!)

The Daily Mail reports that the film in question carries the unlikely title Kitty Discovers Sperm. "Kitty our slim blonde babe knows what true men want. You can say she did a great job pleasuring the cocks with her mouth and holes," raves BuyEuroPorn.com. "Great!"

The site tags this film "hetero, oral, anal, lesbians, group sex, gang bang, facial cum shots, sperm, bukkake." There is, strangely, no 'interracial' tag.

Haaretz reports the film in question was posted on a right-wing Internet forum for "research purposes." Let us imagine the furious confusion into which this poor skinhead plunged: having aspired simply to pay tribute to his fantastic Aryan mistress, he found only betrayal. Feel his anguish, his pain, the tightening of his grip. Did he cry out for his sullied fraulein? Did he bring himself to orgasm? I certainly hope so.

Image via Groll's Facebook page.

Judge Pans Killer's Performance As Lawyer

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Judge Pans Killer's Performance As Lawyer

Salvatore Perrone, a 65-year-old garment salesman from Staten Island, stands accused of executing three Brooklyn shopkeepers in 2012. In a trial tentatively scheduled for the fall, the defendant will represent himself. Perrone launches his defense just a month after medical experts declared him mentally fit for prosecution, barely, despite his repeated outbursts to declare that he murdered on behalf of a "Palestinian section of the CIA."

Perrone's victims were of Middle Eastern descent.

During court proceedings yesterday, Perrone presented a list of alibi witnesses featuring 49 variations of "John" and "Jane Doe." Luminaries including:

  • John Doe Calvin Klein Co.
  • Dr. John Doe Lutheran Hospital
  • An alleged girlfriend
  • John Doe Car Service

Perrone then demanded that prosecutors provide him with an email for "Nadia," yet another supportive "witness" living in "Russia."

"Give it to me!" Perrone shouted.

Of course, the judge ain't even tryna hear this nonsense.

"You're not happy with everything," Brooklyn Supreme Court Justice Alan Marrus told him at one point. "Have you considered that you decided to represent yourself and that you're not doing a very good job?" the judge asked. "You are being singularly ineffective in representing yourself. Do you understand that?"

Perrone snapped back to protest, loudly, the judge's "misrepresenting the meaning of 'not happy'."

Singularly ineffective, the judge said.

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