Quantcast
Channel: Gawker
Viewing all 24829 articles
Browse latest View live

Your college professors are racist and sexist as all get-out, says science.


Imprisoned Chinese Factory Worker Hides Plea for Help In Shopping Bag

0
0

Imprisoned Chinese Factory Worker Hides Plea for Help In Shopping Bag

In 2012, a New York woman shopping for shoes found a disturbing note in her Saks Fifth Avenue bag. Someone claiming to be a worker imprisoned in a Chinese factory told a story of 13-hour days and being treated "like slaves," pleading for "HELP HELP HELP." Now the man behind that letter has been found.

Tohnain Emmanuel Njong, a Cameroonian national, told DNAinfo he ended up in the factory after authorities in Qingdao, in eastern China, sentenced him to three years on bogus fraud charges.

During his time in the factory, Njong assembled paper shopping bags, electronics, and garments. He was required to meet a production quota each day, and used the pen he was given to record his numbers to secretly write requests for help.

Njong is now free and living in Dubai after being released early for good behavior. He said he wrote 5 letters, some in French, but the one that made its way into Stephanie Wilson's Saks bag was the only one found.

Prior to his conviction, Njong served 10 months in a detention camp, awaiting help from a legal aid lawyer. The lawyer, who represented Njong at trial, confirmed the former prisoner's story to DNAinfo.

Njong was unable to contact his family during the entire ordeal, and they were shocked when he returned home alive, so he was understandably surprised to learn anyone had received his message.

"It was the biggest surprise of my life," he said. "I am just happy that someone heard my cry."

[Photo: DNAinfo]

Watch Seth Meyers Make Fun of Everyone on the Time 100 List

0
0

Watch Seth Meyers Make Fun of Everyone on the Time 100 List

A visibly nervous Seth Meyers roasted his companions on the Time 100 list at a gala in honor of the winners Tuesday night. He managed to hilariously skewer many powerful people in his seven minutes onstage, making fun of everyone from Vladimir Putin to Matthew McConaughey.

But more importantly, he lamented the glaring absence on the list of Rob Ford, one of North America's most influential figures of the past year. No way is he less important than Carrie Underwood.

[H/T Vulture]

Vet Accused of Ilegally Keeping Dogs Alive for Secret Blood Transfusions

0
0

Vet Accused of Ilegally Keeping Dogs Alive for Secret Blood Transfusions

A veterinary clinic in Texas allegedly convinced a family to euthanize their 5-year-old Leonberger for health reasons, only to secretly keep the dog alive in a feces-covered cage for six months for blood transfusions.

Last year, Marian Harris took her family's dog, Sid, to the Camp Bowie Animal Clinic in Fort Worth to be treated for a gland issue. As the condition worsened and Sid developed problems walking, the vet reportedly recommended they put the dog to sleep. Marian agreed and told police she gave Dr. Lou Tierce permission to euthanize Sid.

Six months later, the Harris family received a call from Mary Brewer, a former technician at Camp Bowie, who claimed Sid was still alive and being held in a urine-and-feces-covered cage for blood transfusions.

"I told her, 'He's still here,' and she's like, 'Can he walk?' and I said, 'Yeah, he's here waiting on you. If you came today, he'd walk out and jump in your car,'" Brewer told NBC DFW.

Marian and her husband, Jamie, rushed to the clinic, where they found Sid, alive and in a cage.

"It was like getting punched in the stomach and then some," Marian Harris said. "This has rocked our world. My kids are like, 'How does somebody do this?' How does this happen?"

The Harrises freed Sid and immediately took him to another clinic, where vets said he didn't need to be euthanized at all. According to the Harrises' attorney, vets said Sid had been "abusively kenneled" and likely used for blood transfusions.

"He was able to walk and jump in the back of my minivan so it was an excitement to be reunited," Marian told CBS DFW. "The betrayal is so incredibly intense that nothing you have prepares you for the emotions. There's anger, there's joy that you have your dog back, there's betrayal of this intense trust. And so it's just really hard to camp on one particular emotion."

Authorities went to the clinic Tuesday and seized several animals. The Texas State Board of Veterinary Medical Examiners has called an emergency meeting in Austin; a member of the board is set to meet with Ft. Worth Police and prosecutors on Wednesday to discuss criminal charges.

[h/t Daily Mail]

Feel Old With Our "How Many Pro Athletes Are Younger Than You?" Tool

0
0

Feel Old With Our "How Many Pro Athletes Are Younger Than You?" Tool

An important milestone on your inexorable march toward bleak death is the sudden realization that most professional athletes are younger than you are. To help this along, the tool below calculates the percentage of players in the NFL, NBA, NHL, and MLB who are already younger than you are at this very moment.

Just punch your birthday into the field on the right and hit submit. The height of the bars is proportional to the frequency of each age in each league—as a percentage—instead of the total number of players of a certain age; this adjusts for the fact that these sports have different roster sizes.

Please note: We're trying a new type of graphic here. It's going to look weird on your phone (Kinja's problem), and it's probably not going to work on Internet Explorer or older browsers (my problem).



Birthdays were scraped from the appropriate Sports Reference site. The players in each league are current as of Monday, April 29, and their ages—calculated from their birthdays and represented in the histograms—are current as of Wednesday. The data include:

  • 2,339 NFL players, active at some point during the 2013 season.
  • 563 NBA players, active at some point during the 2013-14 season.
  • 983 NHL players, active at some point during the 2013-14 season.
  • 889 MLB players, who have appeared at least once in the 2014 season.

The code for the graphic and birthday scrapers is available on GitHub.

Meteorologists Did an Incredible Job Forecasting This Week's Tornadoes

0
0

Meteorologists Did an Incredible Job Forecasting This Week's Tornadoes

The worst tornado outbreak to strike the Deep South in nearly two years came to an end yesterday after killing almost three dozen people and damaging hundreds of buildings. Meteorologists for the National Weather Service did an incredible job predicting the outbreak days before it happened, and they're directly responsible for saving countless lives.

Six Days' Notice

Residents in the areas affected by the worst tornadoes on Sunday and Monday received a heads-up six days before each of the respective outbreaks. Meteorologists' abilities to forecast (and detect) tornadoes has increased dramatically over the past few decades, and the advances were put on full display over the last week.

April 27 — Arkansas

Meteorologists Did an Incredible Job Forecasting This Week's Tornadoes

The Storm Prediction Center outlined central and western Arkansas as at risk for severe weather on Tuesday, April 22, saying that "potentially significant supercell development with very large hail and tornadoes can be expected" if weather model guidance was correct.

Models consistently showed a major weather outbreak occurring over the central Plains — including most of Arkansas — on Sunday and refinements to the scope and duration of the outbreak were made with each subsequent forecast. Forecasters had enough confidence by early Friday morning, a full three days before the outbreak, to issue a "moderate risk" (4/5 risk) for severe weather. Issuing a moderate risk three days before a predicted severe weather event is exceedingly rare.

Forecasters finally pulled the trigger and issued a rare "high risk" (5/5 risk) the afternoon of the outbreak when it became apparent that the atmosphere was conducive to extremely strong, long-lived tornadoes.

April 28 — Alabama/Mississippi

Meteorologists Did an Incredible Job Forecasting This Week's Tornadoes

By Wednesday, April 23, forecasters had seen enough consistency in the models to predict that Sunday's severe weather outbreak would continue into Monday further to the east. Their "bullseye" hardly budged over the six days they had the outbreak in the forecast. Again, they issued a "moderate risk" for severe weather early Saturday morning, three full days before the outbreak started.

Their Forecasts Verified Really Well

Overall, the forecasts issued by the Storm Prediction Center were pretty well aligned with the worst of the tornadoes in Arkansas and "Dixie Alley," a nickname for parts of northern/central Alabama and Mississippi that are susceptible to violent tornadoes.

Survey teams are still trying to determine the exact paths and strength of each tornado, and many of the tornado reports on these maps are for the same tornado since they traveled such long distances.

April 27 — Arkansas

Meteorologists Did an Incredible Job Forecasting This Week's Tornadoes

The tornado outbreak in Arkansas was thankfully limited to one violent tornado that stayed on the ground for about two hours and tore a few dozen mile path through the center of the state. The supercell that spawned the tornado that tore through Mayflower and Vilonia formed right on the edge of the "high risk" area outlined by the SPC for violent tornado formation. Surveyors gave the tornado, which killed 15 people, a preliminary EF-3 rating on the Enhanced Fujita Scale, reserving the right to raise the final rating once they complete their tour of the damage.

The only way the forecast "busted" is that the outbreak wasn't really much of an outbreak, as there were only two tornadoes in the state that day.

All of the other tornadoes that formed across the United States on Sunday occurred in areas where the SPC said there would be a slight risk (2/5 risk) for severe weather.

April 28 — Alabama/Mississippi

Meteorologists Did an Incredible Job Forecasting This Week's Tornadoes

The violent tornado outbreak in Alabama and Mississippi was more prolific and damaging than the one that occurred in Arkansas the day before it, spawning over two dozen tornadoes across the region and killing nearly a dozen people.

All of the largest, strongest tornadoes on April 28 occurred in the area the SPC placed under a "high risk" (5/5 risk) for severe weather on Monday. Survey crews are working to determine the strength and paths of the tornadoes that tore through the region, but many of the storms were rated strong EF-3 and EF-4s on the Enhanced Fujita Scale.

April 29 — A Bust in Alabama and Mississippi

Meteorologists Did an Incredible Job Forecasting This Week's Tornadoes

On Tuesday, the atmosphere was conducive to the development of more violent, long-track tornadoes over much of the same areas in Alabama and Mississippi that saw the intense weather on Monday. The SPC issued a moderate risk for severe weather in anticipation of the outbreak, but thankfully, it was a bust: nothing happened.

A complex of thunderstorms along the Gulf Coast — the same one that produced copious amounts of flooding after dropping over a foot of rain in many spots — pumped enough cool, stable air into interior sections of the Deep South that it prevented the instability necessary to form dangerous thunderstorms that could produce large tornadoes.

Tornado Emergencies and Debris Balls

During the strongest tornado ever recorded, forecasters decided that they needed to use language stronger than "tornado warning" to get the public to take the threat seriously and seek shelter from the mile-wide wedge bearing down on Moore, Oklahoma. They used the term "tornado emergency" in the warning, and that set a precedent for future tornado safety in the United States.

A tornado emergency is issued by the National Weather Service when a large tornado is spotted moving into a populated area. It differs from a tornado warning as it assures people that a tornado really is coming and that they need to seek shelter to survive.

The National Weather Service issued at least five tornado emergencies on April 27 and 28, all after spotters sighted large tornadoes moving towards towns and cities, or Doppler radar left no doubt that a tornado was present.

Debris Balls on Doppler Radar

Meteorologists Did an Incredible Job Forecasting This Week's Tornadoes

Anyone who's watched severe weather coverage on television has heard the word "debris ball" at one point or another. The term refers to an area that shows up inside a thunderstorm on Doppler radar created by the radar beam reflecting off of the immense amount of debris swirling around inside a tornado.

Meteorologists have a new technology to help differentiate between heavy rain, hail, and tornado debris, called "dual-polarization." I wrote an extended post about how dual-pol data helps meteorologists confirm tornadoes by spotting debris, and this technology was used several times to confirm the existence of a tornado without anyone actually seeing it on the ground.

Forecasters issue a tornado warning either when a tornado has been spotted on the ground, or when Doppler radar indicates strong rotation that could produce a tornado. While Doppler technology allows us to see tornadoes that we never would have known about until they formed a few decades ago, its major downfall is the false alarm rate. Almost 75% of all tornado warnings issued are false alarms. National Weather Service offices are actively working to decrease the false alarm rate, but the nature of weather radars means that there will always be some degree of tornado warnings that don't verify with a tornado.

All in all, meteorologists did a great job with this tornado outbreak, and as technology advances, so too will their ability to more accurately predict future disasters.

[Images via AP / author's compilation of SPC forecasts / SPC / SPC / Gibson Ridge via NWS Huntsville]

John Leguizamo Celebrates Bob Hoskins

Huh. There Are Jews in Burma?

0
0

Huh. There Are Jews in Burma?

Yes: 22, to be exact. But now that the military dictatorship is "liberalizing," they're coming back, baby! Their de-facto leader is a young U.S.-educated entrepreneur named Sammy Samuels:

Fusion yesterday aired a short video of Samuels running briefly through some history if Mesmuah Yeshuah Synagogue in Yangon, Myanmar, which has two Torahs from Iraq (yes, they famously had a large Jewish population, too, as did Iran and Uzbekistan, among other unlikely spots). Samuels' family has run the synagogue for almost four decades, since his grandfather emigrated from England. (His father, Moses, is the synagogue's current patriarch. The last Burmese rabbi reportedly skipped town in 1975.)

The video left me wanting to know a bit more.

Burmese Jews reportedly came from the Middle East and Europe, primarily as merchants during British Imperial rule, as they had done in India. In the early 1900's, the capital city of Rangoon (which is now Yangon) had a Jewish mayor, and Burma was the first country in Asia to recognize Israel; the two nations reportedly enjoyed a strong relationship, at least until the military junta took over Burma in 1962, renaming it Myanmar.

That dictatorship officially ended after a Buddhist revolt in 2011; though the nation is still not a completely open society, it's ceased to be one of the most repressive regimes on earth.

That political shift has apparently led to some new attention on Burma's dwindling Jewish population, which by the mid-'90s was embroiled in a battle with the military government over whether to turn the synagogue's cemetery into a shopping mall.

Now, Sammy—who came to college in New York on a scholarship—consults businesses coming to Burma, and Jews worldwide (mostly from America and Israel) have taken an interest in the Yangon synagogue, helping to restore it and making it a tourist destination.

I don't have any snark to add here. This was just sorta interesting in a "today I learned" vein. What other unlikely, tiny religious/ethnic/racial/gender populations do you know of? Drop 'em in the comments.


This Week in Tabloids: Kim Cheated on Kanye With Chris Brown

0
0

This Week in Tabloids: Kim Cheated on Kanye With Chris Brown

Welcome back! Every Wednesday, Callie Beusman heads to the newsstand and together we "read" the celebrity tabloids — Ok!, In Touch, Life & Style, Star, Us — so you don't "have" to. This week: Miley "overdosed" on marijuana; Mariah and Nick are dunzo; and Kim cheated on Kanye with Chris Brown. Rumormongering ahoy.


This Week in Tabloids: Kim Cheated on Kanye With Chris Brown

Star

ALONE & SICK

Because it's an immensely slow news week, Star decided to scrutinize actress' bodies and speculate about whether they have mental health issues. Their prime target: Nicole Richie, whom their "body expert" estimates is down to 85 lbs. What an opportune moment to bring up her past struggles with eating disorders! Star alleges that her weight loss is caused by stress, which is caused by her deteriorating marriage, which is caused by her nagging her husband too much. Blerg. A truly bilious tale. In other news, Robin Thicke and Paula Patton broke up because of a "LOVE TRIANGLE DISASTER." According to a source who reportedly passed a polygraph test (responsible journalism!), Robin and Paula were in a three-way relationship with a massage therapist (codename: Jasmine). Robin and Jasmine began a secret two-person side-affair, which drove Paula away forever. This is probably made-up, but it's still pretty irrefutable that Robin Thicke is the worst. Moving on: Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt are both nervous about playing characters who are significantly younger than themselves in an upcoming movie. Tom, 51, is playing a 45-year-old; Brad, 50, is playing a 35-year-old. So they're both probably using Botox, or possibly the blood of virgins taken during the dark of the moon, and they're very competitive about it. Next: a Star editor was coincidentally staying at the same hotel as Justin Bieber, and the Canadian goblin prince called that editor's son "ugly" in the gym: apparently, he was clogging up the gym with body guards, one of whom scared the 7-year-old Star editor's son (Bieber didn't know that the child had any relationship to the tabloid). Quoth the editor: "My son was frightened by the bodyguard, and I was trying to calm him down, but Justin stands up and says, 'Your son is ugly!'" Never change, Biebs. (Just kidding; please change immediately).

Grade: F (lamprey mouth)


This Week in Tabloids: Kim Cheated on Kanye With Chris Brown

In Touch

IT'S A GIRL!

You will NEVER guess who's fake-pregnant this time. Ha ha, just kidding: Jennifer Aniston is pregnant, for real this time, insists inTouch. All of this "story" is crap we've heard before (it's a miracle! Justin Theroux transformed into a doting father overnight! Everyone is so happy!) with a generous amount of thinly-veiled insults thrown in (a doctor who has not treated her says that you can tell she's expecting from "the little pooch in her stomach" and also because she "seems to have put on 10 pounds" and "looks very tired." Thanks, doctor!!!!). Also, for good measure, some product placement (???): a friend says that she craves nachos, fried pickles, and PopChips. Sorry, but no one ever craves PopChips. Moving on: George Clooney, here described as an "eternally happy bachelor," is getting married to very smart and accomplished barrister Amal Alamuddin. Thus, a timeline of all his exes, titled "Sorry, Ladies, You Just Didn't Make The Cut" (Fig. 1). Seriously, what. Anyway, this is a big deal because she is really smart — according to the magazine, "They have tremendous chemistry — sexually, emotionally, politically." I didn't know that political chemistry was a thing, but when you've got it, you've got it, I guess, and Amal has it with this aging actor. Elsewhere in the mag,there's a 2-page spread entitled "Six Degrees of Lindsay's Love Life" (Fig. 2). It's truly depraved. I say this because it connects her to her dad. And, finally, Jon Hamm and Elisabeth Moss are totally hooking up in secret because they went to Disney World, a popular sex destination, together. Also, one time they got coffee AND HIS WIFE WASN'T EVEN THERE!!!!!!!!! Q.E.D. They're fucking.

Grade: F (sucker fish mouth)


This Week in Tabloids: Kim Cheated on Kanye With Chris Brown

Us

OUR GIRL'S BRAVE FIGHT

Nope, not reading this cover story. NEXT. Tori Spelling was in the hospital for six days for "anxiety-exacerbated migraines." Broadcasting your marital issues to a nation of millions helps how? Moving on: In an interview with Seth Meyers to air later this month, Jennifer Lawrence says she was "wasted" at the Oscars and puked on the stairs at Madonna's after-party. Perfection. A piece called "Why She's The One" is all about how Amal Alamuddin is awesome, which is why George Clooney proposed. Finally, Selena Gomez "dramatically deleted" all photos of herself with the Jenner sisters because she was jealous that Kylie was flirting with Justin Bieber, and also because "The Jenner girls roll hard" and everyone was high and or drunk and or emotional at Coachella. Good times.

Grade: F (hippo mouth)


This Week in Tabloids: Kim Cheated on Kanye With Chris Brown

Ok!

IT'S OVER!

IT'S OVER between Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon, according to several randos (but not according to their reps, who deny that the Carey-Cannon matrimonial bond is in any peril). But oh well: sources say that Nick cheated with at least two (2) women and that Mariah is "drowning her sorrows in a champagne flute" (ok, in that case, her sorrows must be pretty small because you couldn't even drown the average mouse in a champagne flute). And of course the rumors of woe take a gross and sexist turn: "conflict was built into the marriage from the start," says Ok, because Mariah is 12 years older than Nick and thus aging insecurely. UGH, WHATEVER. In other news, John Mayer is bombarding Taylor Swift with emails saying that he is sorry and that he misses her. UH, I'M SORRY, JOHN, BUT HAVE YOU EVEN LISTENED TO "WE ARE NEVER EVER GETTING BACK TOGETHER"? It's simply disrespectful to send a heartfelt post-breakup missive to the human responsible for that song. Elsewhere in the mag, Lena Dunham and her boyfriend, the bespectacled goof from that caterwauling band of misfits known as "Fun.", had a big fight on the street. "Lena was screaming at the top of her lungs, saying, 'I can't believe you!' over and over, with tears in her eyes," says an onlooker. Ok, to be fair, that's kind of inconclusive evidence. Like. he could have just showed her the video of the hamsters eating tiny burritos on his phone. Moving on: the magazine concern-trolls "scary skinny" actresses, having an "expert" weigh on on "four celebs who seem to be wasting away." (Fig. 3). Elswhere, in a much better use of the magazine infographic, we're treated to CELEBRITY "STARBUCKS ORDERS REVEALED" (Fig. 4). Ashton Kutcher gets an iced caramel macchiato with cinnamon. Who would have guessed?

Grade: D- (blobfish mouth)


This Week in Tabloids: Kim Cheated on Kanye With Chris Brown

Life & Style

DRUG OVERDOSE

The official word on the Miley Cyrus hospitalization is that she had a severe allergic reaction to antibiotics. The copy here claims that the editors have "learned that Miley was hospitalized after months of over-the-top partying — including rampant pot smoking and a drug binge that ended in an overdose." The story does not specify which drug; it just tells tales about her drinking and getting stoned. One section claims an eyewitness saw her "overdose" after taking massive hits of weed? Because she passed out after? Is that an overdose? Or just a chill as fuck Sunday? Do the people who write this crap understand drugs at all? Hello? Anyway. An unnamed source says "she's doing a ton of pills" and a doctor who does not treat her says lack of sleep, poor nutrition and substance abuse can create stress on the immune system. News you can use. Also inside: Chad Kroeger and Avril Lavigne are "the worst hotel guests ever" because they got drunk and tried to order stuff not on the room service menu, caused noise complaints and left the room a wreck. 125% believable. In Kardashian News, a story claims that Kim cheated on Kanye with Chris Brown. In 2012. A source says Kanye "is not just embarrassed, he's furious." Kanye has "lost trust" in Kim but will still marry her because the universe gives us what we deserve, and we deserve this damn rocuckoo wedding. Next, a Tori Spelling story claims she wants to talk to Emily Goodhand, the woman Dean McDermott cheated with, and "she's hoping for a public showdown on TV." Provided that Goodhand exists, of course. Moving on, Robin Thicke had some kind of no-pants party at his house and hooked up with five out of 10 ladies invited. The copy points out that his wife's clothes still hang in the bedroom closet. That shit is Tackée Harry. Finally, in Knifestyles of the Rich & Famous, we learn that Rosie Huntington-Whitely got a nose job and that dudes like Michelle Williams better with her new slimmer nose, because it makes her "look more confident and sophisticated." Christ, the fact that we live in a world people really think a slender nose is the sign of finesse is everything wrong with the world. Physiognomy is not a thing! (Fig. 5)

Grade: D (yuck mouth)


Addendum

This Week in Tabloids: Kim Cheated on Kanye With Chris Brown

Fig. 1, from In Touch

This Week in Tabloids: Kim Cheated on Kanye With Chris Brown

Fig. 2, from In Touch

This Week in Tabloids: Kim Cheated on Kanye With Chris Brown

Fig. 3, from Ok!

This Week in Tabloids: Kim Cheated on Kanye With Chris Brown

Fig. 4, from Ok!

This Week in Tabloids: Kim Cheated on Kanye With Chris Brown

Fig. 5, from Life & Style

Senate Republicans, who are active enemies of the poor, blocked a minimum wage increase today.

Shirtless Man Holding Dog Asks Out Reporter During Live Wildfire Report

0
0

"Wow, you're super pretty. Wanna go on a date sometime?" said a man, walking around with no shirt on, to a woman, who was reporting live today from the site of a wildfire east of Los Angeles. All men must die.

A Dog Reviews Capital in the Twenty-First Century

0
0

A Dog Reviews Capital in the Twenty-First Century

Still confused why a doorstop economics text is the most talked-about book in the U.S.? A dog, Gawker's foremost columnist, returns this week with an in-depth review of French economist Thomas Piketty's sensational, revolutionary, much-discussed Capital in the Twenty-First Century. A dog maintains a Kinja blog at dog.gawker.com.

Florida Bill Would Allow People to Tote Guns in the Zombie Apocalypse

0
0

Florida Bill Would Allow People to Tote Guns in the Zombie Apocalypse

There's a pro-gun bill awaiting a vote in the Florida Senate right now. What's it do? Well, if one saucy senator gets his way, the name will say it all: "An act relating to the zombie apocalypse."

Why the hell not? Nobody's better at double-tapping the undead than "Tallahassee."

The NRA-approved bill aims to allow any and all Floridians, even if they're unlicensed, to carry concealed guns during evacuations in "a declared state of emergency" in the state—which, you know, happens fairly regularly, what with the hurricane seasons and occasional riots. Normally, toting a gun under your shirt sans permit is a felony in Florida, but, you know, emergencies, man.

Law enforcement, unsurprisingly, is against the bill, since 1) looting isn't as common or as dangerous in Florida as old armed men mistaking innocent people for looters; 2) it's unclear under the bill when said homeowners would have to stop carrying their guns concealed; and 3) it's also unclear why they can't lock the guns up in the luggage they would presumably pack during an evacuation.

But the gun-lobby's bowl-cut-coiffed and appropriately named champion in Florida, Marion Hammer, says the measure is necessary because during emergency evacuations, homeowners might leave their guns behind, and dirty danged looters might take their guns, and awful terrible mayhem might ensue!

Why limit your imagination here? People need guns to stop the zombies.

The bill, like the rest of the NRA's agenda in Florida, is likely to pass without much trouble, so Sen. Dwight Bullard—a Democrat who opposes it—filed an amendment this week to call the act what it is: A zombie-killin' act. He acknowledged to the Huffington Post that the amendment might seem "laughable," but that's just the point, you see:

[I]t's equally laughable that people who haven't gone through the proper training, the background check, the license to carry — we're saying because of a hurricane or flooding or sinkhole, these individuals have gone from gun owners to concealed carry permit holders. I'd argue a crisis is probably the last instance in which you want someone who is not a concealed permit holder to carry a weapon.

Oh, Dwight, don't jinx it. When the flesh-eaters come, where will your kumbaya Bloomberg U.N. disarmament-loving butt be then?

[Photo credit: DmitriMaruda/Shutterstock]

Slate's Reihan Salam keeps imagineering a right wing worth defending: "If the Tea Party were to figh

0
0

Slate's Reihan Salam keeps imagineering a right wing worth defending: "If the Tea Party were to fight crony capitalism as hard as it fights wasteful spending, and if its members were to train their anger on the Wall Street-Washington axis...it would be the most constructive and powerful political force of our time."

Teen Accepted to the Entire Ivy League Announces He'll Go to Yale

0
0

Teen Accepted to the Entire Ivy League Announces He'll Go to Yale

The high school senior accepted to all eight Ivy League universities has made The Decision. In a LeBron-like move, Kwasi Enin held a press conference at his Long Island high school to announce he's taking his talents to New Haven. Looks like Cleveland got robbed again.

Enin scored a 2250 out of 2400 on the SAT, and was accepted to Duke and three SUNY campuses in addition to his full sweep of the Ivies. College counselors say few students even apply to all 8, and few of those who do have pulled off the feat.

"It's a big deal when we have students apply to one or two Ivies. To get into one or two is huge. It was extraordinary," said Enin's own high school counselor, Nancy Winkler.

Enin, a first-generation Ghanian-American, took 11 AP classes in high school while playing violin, singing in an a cappella group and volunteering at a hospital's radiology department. Both of his parents are nurses.

He says he picked Yale because of its music programs and the financial aid package it offered.

In addition to continuing his study of the violin, Enin plans to go to medical school and become a doctor.

[Photo Credit: William Floyd School District]


A Scientific American editor who went on Fox News and tried to discuss climate change today found th

0
0

A Scientific American editor who went on Fox News and tried to discuss climate change today found the experience to be "not something that I wanted to be a part of in the future." The station also apparently tried to remove video of his appearance from its website, but thought better of it.

Man Found Dead Inside an Industrial Fortune Cookie Dough Mixer

0
0

Man Found Dead Inside an Industrial Fortune Cookie Dough Mixer

I have, on at least one prior occasion, said that I hoped to one day die in a giant vat of cookie dough. A terrible story out of Houston, in which a 26-year-old man was found dead inside a giant industrial-sized fortune cookie mixer on Sunday, makes me feel like I should take it back.

Should you think that we are simply talking about a larger version of your standard countertop kitchen mixer, here, via the Houston Press, is what an industrial dough machine actually looks like:

The police are investigating, and foul play is not suspected. Hopefully someone has also called the Occupational Safety & Health Administration.

We ask that you be circumspect about any bad puns about the man's fortune you might be tempted to leave in the comments.

[Image via Shutterstock]

Conspicuous Consumption Grows Along With Capitalism's Contradictions

0
0

Conspicuous Consumption Grows Along With Capitalism's Contradictions

As the twin phenomena of regulatory capture and decrepit political structures controlled by a small plutocracy enable a small class of rentiers to accumulate an ever larger share of the world's wealth, our patriarchal society spawns status-obsessed males seeking glory through gaudy displays of finery.

Or, as the New York Times Style section puts it, "Designers Are Waking Up To a Men's Luxury Fashion Market."

The lexicon describing male shopping has been lately enriched with newly minted acronyms and portmanteaux, following in the vaunted (and derided) footsteps of "metrosexual." Bain & Company calls this spender-to-be Henry (High Earner, Not Rich Yet); the bank HSBC, more cringe-worthily, calls him a Yummy (Young Urban Male). But if you christen him, will he come?

The post-Reagan divergence of wealth accumulation in America in which the top quintile, led by the top 1% and the top .01%, take an ever-larger share of our nation's economic pie for themselves, continues apace. With post-recession wage gains and stock market gains accruing almost exclusively to the upper class, and with a tax system that favors the income of the wealthy over the standard wages of labor, it is only natural that businesses attempt to maximize their own revenue by catering to the insecurities of a monied ultra-elite.

"We see clearly a big potential for men," said Jean-Marc Bellaiche, a senior partner at the Boston Consulting Group, where he leads the firm's luxury, fashion and beauty sectors. "This segment of what we call metrosexuals — those men, living in cities, making a lot of money, taking care of themselves, buying cosmetic products, buying the best brands for apparel, even wearing luxury bags — this is a growing segment."

He added, with a chuckle: "I'm not the only one in meetings now with a luxury branded bag."

The theory of "conspicuous consumption," as articulated by Thorstein Veblen, holds that competition for social status and prestige among the wealthy will inevitably manifest itself in the showy display of expensive luxury goods. More intense concentrations of wealth will cause this dynamic to spiral into increasingly grotesque exhibitions of splurges. The contrast between the luxury on display and the far more widespread neediness of the lower classes, ironically, only makes the display that much more impressive.

So many companies are moving so enthusiastically into that niche that it's tempting to see a sartorial arms race. "There are more brands that try to play in the high-end market," said Francesco Pesci, the chief executive of Brioni, where a suit can cost up to $17,000. "Of course this is a challenge. We like challenges. It's good to have competition in life, eh?"

Piketty has warned us of the long term consequences of an economy like ours, in which owners of capital see their assets appreciate at a faster rate than the underclass which has only its own labor to offer: wealth flocks to to the top of the economic spectrum, and with it, purveyors of goods and services. This leads to a distortion of the socioeconomic balance, in which the most elite firms in all fields turn their attention to a small group of the very rich, leaving the bulk of society to flounder, lacking funds with which to tempt the most skilled artisans to serve them.

Guy Endzweig, 35, a real estate investor, spent his 20s in conservative labels before discovering Tom Ford and Brunello Cucinelli. He is emblematic of the customer these companies would be happy to court: fashion-forward, ready to spend.

The only remaining question: how long until the underclass rises up to realign the social order with the economic order? One fears that the longer they wait, the more grisly the inevitable revolt will be.

[Photo: Getty]

Mariah Carey's Forthcoming Album Is Already Insane

0
0

Me. I Am Mariah...The Elusive Chanteuse is latest in a long line of eccentric Mariah Carey album titles (including Butterfly, Glitter, Charmbracelet, The Emancipation of Mimi, E=MC², and Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel). Carey officially announced her long-delayed 14th studio album (out May 27) last night via the video above, explaining that the title comes from her "first and only self portrait," which she drew at age 3.

Note that the picture is "a creative visualization of how I saw myself with the purity of a child's heart...before it was ever broken." Note what looks like a pack of cigarettes in the left hand of Lil' Mimi. Note that she recorded background vocals for a spoken announcement. Note that "lately they've been calling me 'the elusive chanteuse,'" according to Carey. Who's been calling her that? Probably the backing voices in her head, most prominently.

Note that MIAMTEC's tracklist includes titles like, "Meteorite," "Camouflage," and "Money ($ * / ...)," the parenthetical of which was probably the result of one of her 3-year-old twins banging on a keyboard. Note that those twins ("Dembabies" aka Ms. Monroe & Mr. Moroccan aka Roc 'n' Roe aka Me. I Am Not Mariah, But I Am Her Spawn) are featured on the album's "Supernatural." Note that "One More Try" is probably her cover of George Michael's anguished 1988 single.

She. She is Mariah. A thoroughly modern diva, her wacky persona is as crucial as her legendary voice. At this point, she is not just embracing her eccentricity, she's harnessing it. "I am campy, and I am OK with that," she seems to be saying. At times commodifying her essence merely means repeating herself (see MIAMTEC's "We Belong Together"-esque single "You're Mine (Eternal)," which failed to catch on when it was released earlier this year and came with a video featuring Mimi doing little more than holding her bare breasts). But goddamn, is is fun listening to her come up with new ways to talk about herself, 10-cent words and all.

Man Caught on Video Hurling Baby Through the Air

0
0

Security footage from a shop in Huainan, China shows a man picking up a 12-month-old baby and flinging it into the air in the midst of what appears to have been a fight with the shopkeeper.

According to the original poster on Chinese video sharing site 56.com, who claims to be the baby's cousin, police didn't detain the man who threw the child, and he's still at large.

The baby lived, but sustained serious injuries and is now under observation at a hospital.

A similar incident occurred last year in Beijing, where a man fighting over a parking space threw a pram containing a 2-year-old. In that case, the child died. Although the attacker argued he thought the pram was a shopping cart, he was sentenced to death last September.

[H/T NYDN]

Viewing all 24829 articles
Browse latest View live


Latest Images