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Brainiacs to Finally Do Sex

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Brainiacs to Finally Do Sex

Are you having trouble finding true love? Are you also a very smart person who knows this because you've taken a Mensa test for confirmation? Now you won't be alone with your big brain forever: Match.com is set to premiere a new service designed only for very smart people.

The service, brilliantly named Mensa Match, will allow only people with IQs in the 98th percentile or higher in America to join.

From ABC News:

"Eighty percent of singles rate intelligence as one of the most important factors when looking for a partner, finally proving that brainpower is the ultimate aphrodisiac," Match.com President Amarnath Thombre said in a statement. "Partnering with Mensa now gives Match members another smart way to easily search for and connect with like-minded singles."

As American Mensa Marketing Manager Victoria Liguez so eloquently put it, "You're looking for someone in the same tribe as you. You're asking, 'Do you value intelligence as much as I do?'"

May the many new couples finally enjoy their first sex. And if you're looking to rub roosters with another brain, you have until July 1 to take the test yourself for only $1.

[Image via AP]


Facebook Is Mostly White Dudes

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Facebook Is Mostly White Dudes

Water is wet, the night is dark, the sugar is sweet, and according to a new internal report, the social network employs mostly men, who usually look the same. At the top of the org chart, 93% of leadership positions are caucasian or Asian.

The report is titled "Building a More Diverse Facebook," because that's exactly what the company has not been doing, and the first rule of PR is always say the opposite of whatever is happening.

It's been this way since Facebook was started by a group of young white men. Now those young white men are 30-year-old white men, and the genetic makeup of Mature Facebook isn't considerably different: only two percent of Facebook employees are black, and that drops to one percent at the senior staff level. Naturally, the company is 69 percent male (77 percent male at the senior level).

This puts Facebook in a fiercely competitive position with its lily-white online competitors at Yahoo and Google. Don't worry, though: Facebook PR trotted out the business platitudes for this very special occasion: "We have a long way to go, but we're absolutely committed to achieving greater diversity at Facebook and across the industry."

Mechanic Takes Rare Ferrari for Joyride, Crashes Into Wall

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Mechanic Takes Rare Ferrari for Joyride, Crashes Into Wall

If anyone is looking to hire a mechanic in Connecticut, this guy will definitely need a job: a mechanic from the Greenwich exotic car dealership Miller Motorsports took a Ferrari Enzo worth $600,000 for a joyride and promptly crashed into a wall, spiraled across traffic and smashed into a median.

The mechanic and a passenger were not seriously injured. The car, which is owned by a man named Michael Fux (okay) who made his fortune in mattresses (okay), did not escape as cleanly, sustaining what WHDH in Boston describes as "serious damage."

Aspiring exotic car joyriders should never forget that Fast & Furious are films about fake people.

[image via NBC Connecticut]

Deadspin Why Germany Won't Hand The U.S.

Beirut Hotel Blasted by Suicide Bomber Possibly Connected to ISIS

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Beirut Hotel Blasted by Suicide Bomber Possibly Connected to ISIS

A suicide bomber attacked a hotel in Beirut today, killing one (the bomber) and seriously injuring several others. The Associated Press reports that the bomber detonated on the fourth floor of the hotel while security officers were raiding the building in search of terrorists believed to be connected to ISIS militants.

According to the Wall Street Journal, this is the second suicide bomb in the city this week—a suicide bomber killed himself and a police officer Monday:

The officer, 20, was off duty and had been headed home with a friend to watch the end of Monday night's Brazil-Cameroon soccer match when he noticed a car headed the wrong way and stopped it, a neighbor interviewed by telephone said, citing the man's family. The driver, the bomber, detonated the bomb then.

Lebanese credited the slain officer with stopping the car before it reached its possible targets—a café crowded with World Cup watchers, and a security checkpoint into the Shiite neighborhood.

Police do not believe Monday's attack, however, was at all ISIS-related.

But last week authorities in the Lebanese capital did arrest men apparently connected to the Sunni insurgents. From the Associated Press:

Just over a week ago, authorities in the country announced that they were looking for ISIS cells that had penetrated into Lebanon and were planning to carry out a series of suicide attacks.

On Friday, security forces raided another hotel and arrested 17 men believed to be ISIS members, but didn't find any explosives, Lebanese media reported.

[Image via AP]

Romance Is Dead and This Is the OkCupid Message That Proves It

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Romance Is Dead and This Is the OkCupid Message That Proves It

Trying to find love on the internet can be a harrowing ordeal. There are the creepers, the harassers, the well-meaning psychos and dudes who send you dick pics when a "hello" would have sufficed. And yet, this note, received by a San Francisco woman (and at least 10000 others) is the nail in romance's coffin. Because it misses the point completely.

The problem with the essay you are about to read (and I hope you're comfortable because it is a wall of very technical and completely unsexy words) is that the person who wrote the message, probably a very decent person, tried so hard to be transparent that he made his introductory message painfully and tediously dull, forcing anyone interested to dig through a morass of verbiage to decide whether this is someone they'd want to say hello to, let alone go out with. And then he sent it to thousands of people. In an effort to make this as easy for everyone involved as possible (including his friends, who he is pushing at you) this intrepid user made his message appear as if there wasn't any effort taken to be personable at all.

The entire message reads like a legal document, as if this 29-year-old from California wants you to know that he's okay, he's got references (!!!), he's sent a message before! And by doing that he literally takes out the mystery which is essential to any new relationship — never poop with the doors open — before the first date, making it easy to picture what your life with him might be like.

Look, I'm not trying to say it's a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation, but there are other ways that show you're a stand-up kind of person than enlisting the help of your friends and writing out an FAQ about yourself. You have to do something to distinguish yourself from others, but what you're about to read isn't it. Even if the message has been revised four times for maximum efficiency. (Also: I met my partner on OkCupid and his first message to me was something like "I also like Nintendo. Do you like Pokemon?" and I was okay with this. That's not a horrible conversation starter!) (We have been together for six years off of that pickup line.)

Of course, I can't speak for everyone. Some people might take this gentleman up on his instructions to schedule an informal interview, but considering that he freely admits that his endeavors have been largely fruitless, it might be time to change tactics.

My Modest But A Tad Blunt Proposal IV

To meet up with you in person because I consider you to be interesting/attractive based on your profile. For the folks whom have received the first proposal please see the updates/musings at the tail end of this message.

Disclosures:

1. This message has been used and reused on a number of interesting/attractive females

2. I am interested in meeting a significant other as well as meeting people in general.

3. Here are my well-maintained social media profiles to "prove" that I do exist outside of the digital world. Social media profiles: [REDACTED]

4. Potential red-flag: Haven't had a girlfriend in 7 years 5. Just getting back into the online dating scene.

Raison d'être for this proposal:

Prior to getting into the online dating scene, I had heard many fail stories (and a few success stories) when it came to free online dating sites. As I have mentioned above, based on my very limited knowledge of your world views and your chosen online appearance, I have made the assessment to deem you of sufficient compelling interest for me to impart further effort to "get to know you better." To my understanding, there is a lot of wasted time involved with the online messaging that in all likelihood will end up nowhere for the both of us should you choose to respond through the confines of the limited OKC messaging system. This mutual annihilation of time (money) should not be taken so lightly and, hence, I have crafted My Modest Proposal to get the ball rolling. After all, the ends to this whole online dating website is not to develop only an online (albeit possibly passionate :P) relationship. Hopefully, if you have read this far into my message, then I am most certainly preaching to the choir.

Instructions:

1. Skim my OKCupid profile to see if I am remotely interesting and check out my facebook/linkedin profile to get an idea of what I am about.

2. Reply to this message OR, ideally, text/call my google number [REDACTED].

3. Schedule for a brief 5-10 minute phone interview.

4. If mutual interests persist, then we can schedule a meeting time/place of your choice (police station, health clinic, coffee shop, bar, etc.) TIP OF THE DAY: Choose a public place with plenty of pedestrian traffic!

5. Learn something new or try something new at the very least. Who knows where this could lead?

Q&A:

1. What if you are a creep? I am not. I can offer you at least 5 references upon your request within 48 hours excluding holidays and weekends. More importantly, I just passed a corporate background check by HireRight. w00t!

2. Why haven't you had a gf in 7 years? Long story, but basically I haven't met the right person. Duh!

3. Don't you realize that most girls are into the more subtle approaches? Yes, but I am not really looking for a plurality of matches. One is enough.

4. What if we meet up and we have a horrible time together? I will be truly sorry. I guess it is a risk that comes with this type of social experiment.

5. Are you socially retarded? No. OK, sometimes, but it's by choice and in full recognition of the social backlash and ramifications.

6. Are you a player? Hardly.

7. This sounds lame, but your failures vaguely intrigue me. Any luck thus far? I still firmly believe that it is a numbers game. I must have sent over 10000 messages and had a reply rate of less than 5%. I have met up with 15 people thus far including a girl living in Singapore.

8. How long have you been on OKCupid? Just filled out my profile on 9/9/2012. Proposal II was written on 11/27/2012. Proposal III was written on 2/4/2013 and was also distributed manually shortly thereafter. Proposal IV was written on 5/31/2014.

9. What if you are not my type? I got one of my good buddies on board okc. If you are not into 200+ lb Chinese Americans, then please give my svelte and sexy buddy, "Virt" a shot at love! YES he really is 6'3"!(recent transplant to SF, consummate professional, amazing chef, foodie, sophistication beyond belief) [REDACTED]

Updates since Proposal I:

1. I made a move out to Petaluma, CA to take up a gig at a cleantech company.

2. I have taken a 1 year break from the previous proposal due to uncertainties resulting from a move from Nevada back to Taiwan to complete my MBA and the subsequent global job hunt.

3. I've gone on quite a few dates armed with the aforementioned Proposal I and have certainly made some new friends with the logic being that it takes another quirky individual to answer my call.

5. If you feel like you missed out the first/second/third time around don't hesitate to give me a holla! My Excel VBA automated drivel driven misadventures on OKC predate this fella's digital game, but he has certainly taken it to a different level with the big data analysis. Check out this ted talk on the surprising honesty beholden to the internet. A bit counter-intuitive to the effects of anonymity typically associated with the internet. Pragmatism is still not quite dead in online dating!

Image by Tara Jacoby.

The World's Oldest Human Poop May Have Been Discovered in Spain

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The World's Oldest Human Poop May Have Been Discovered in Spain

Scientists digging around an ancient Neanderthal campfire site in Spain called El Salt stumbled upon what they believe to be the oldest human poop. Other than the poop being 50,000-years-old, analysis of the feces, as published this week in the scientific journal PLOS One, indicates that Neanderthals may have enjoyed an omnivorous diet, contrary to previous thought that they exclusively dined on meat.

This poop, as USA Today reports, is very, very, very old. Definitely the oldest poop to be discovered yet:

The poop samples come from rock layers dated to roughly 50,000 years ago. That's far older than other ancient wastes, such as those found at Turkey's Catalhöyük, one of the world's earliest large villages, dating back 6,000 to 7,000 years, and what might be 14,000-year-old human coprolites at a cave in Oregon.

Though its age is not so much contested as is the finding that Neanderthals ate plants in addition to meat. The gastronomic behavior of Neanderthals is controversial! Further from USA Today:

If the discovery is truly a prehistoric latrine – a claim that has provoked skepticism among other researchers – it contradicts the pop-culture image of Neanderthals as hunters who subsisted on hunks of flesh. Two of the new poop samples contain the chemical footprints of both meat and plant consumption, providing the earliest known evidence that humans were omnivores who ate significant quantities of plant-based food.

But they might not even be plants. Maybe. Ainara Sistiaga, an organic chemistry and Paleolithic archaeology researcher at MIT and the lead author of the study, told the Los Angeles Times that what they identified as plants in the feces may have come from Neanderthals eating the stomachs of other animals that do eat plants. Though she remains optimistic.

"In any case, this would represent another way to eat plants," she told the Los Angeles Times.

Or...it could just be bear shit. One more time from USA Today:

Other researchers call the new study intriguing but far from airtight. The compounds measured by Sistiaga and her colleagues have probably degraded over time, making them unreliable as indicators of human feces, says Michael Richards of the University of British Columbia. The study does not rule out bears, which are also omnivorous, as the source of the coprolites, says Hervé Bocherens of the University of Tübingen in Germany.

[Image via Ainara Sistiaga/Los Angeles Times]

​Wednesday Night TV's Easy on the Eyes, Kind of Tough on the Brain

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​Wednesday Night TV's Easy on the Eyes, Kind of Tough on the Brain

Welcome to Wednesday! We've got tonight several premieres of a dubious nature, including one about a dog that is a man and another about a taxi that solves crimes, and also Tori Spelling has done another inadvisable thing for which you should prepare yourself.

At 8/7c. you can watch the Pasadena callbacks on So You Think You Can Dance, or if you hate yourself in some unfathomable way you can join your sisters in self-hatred with the series premiere (after Young And Hungry's premiere, which also looks wretched) of Mystery Girls on ABC Family. I mention this only because Tori Spelling discovered her cultural role (Desperation Personified) a good thirty years ago and has really stuck to the script ever since, which I find admirable, and—in the case of The House Of Yes—delightful.

Me, I will be watching Big Brother, because it is the only thing I care about in the entire universe, if we are being honest with each other, besides America.

At 9/8c., your choices are the series premiere of Million Dollar Listing: Miami, in which people identical to the horrible million dollar people in the other shows of the million dollar franchise do the same million dollar things as on the other shows, except in Miami, making it even grosser. Meanwhile on USA, Suits continues to be about lawyers I think.

At 10/9c., the premieres of Wilfred's final season and the premiere of NBC's presumably short-lived Taxi Brooklyn begin. One or both of these, I believe, is about an Australian man that solves crimes of an automotive nature while dressed as a venerable New York City taxi cab. Otherwise it's The Soup, or Morgan Freeman Traveling Not Without Gravitas Through A Space Wormhole to ask the classic question of whether a Zombie Apocalypse is possible.

The answer will be: No it is not.

Does any of that sound interesting to you? While I am incapable of believing that Taxi Brooklyn is a show, sadly I can very easily believe that Mystery Girls—which I should mention is a half-hour "comedy" on ABC Family about Tori Spelling and Jennie Garth reuniting to grasp for their former lives as actors, a thing that they have already done multiple times in the consensual reality we consider real life—exists, because even if it's more cynical and grabby and sad than even your average TV Land nostalgia-masturbation arrested social-development show, which I didn't know was possible, what would life be without Tori Spelling making the most mortifying decisions she can, each and every day of her life.

Now if you will excuse me I have to get on my high horse and take my sophisticated ass back home for some Big Brother. Good evening to you.

[Image via New World Pictures]


Man Accused of Killing Adrian Peterson's Son Arrested Again

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Man Accused of Killing Adrian Peterson's Son Arrested Again

Joseph Robert Patterson was arrested by police in Sioux Falls, S.D. after reportedly kidnapping and attacking the mother of Tyrese Doohen, the two-year-old son of Minnesota Vikings running back Adrian Peterson he is accused of having beaten to death last year. He's currently being held on $1 million cash bond.

The Sioux Falls Argus Leader reports that Patterson, 28, allegedly attacked the mother, whom he was dating and living with at the time of Tyrese's death, in her home. Patterson apparently kept her there for "over an hour," Minnehaha County State's Attorney Aaron McGowan said today in court:

Patterson allegedly came to the mother's apartment and terrorized her, twice choking her and once causing her to lose consciousness. She eventually was able to contact her sister, who called her parents, who called police for a "well-being check."

NBC Sports reports that Patterson was arrested by police on kidnapping and assault charges. Patterson had previously been released on bail from the murder and child abuse charges of Tyrese Doohen and was under a strict directive to not be in contact with anyone in the mother's or Peterson's family.

[Image via Sioux Falls Argus Leader]

House Republicans May Have Accidentally Legalized Weed in D.C.

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House Republicans May Have Accidentally Legalized Weed in D.C.

In an effort to block Washington, D.C. from decriminalizing pot possession — a law it passed on its own back in March — House Republicans led by Maryland Rep. Andy Harris may have accidentally legalized it.

Congress, as you may recall, has the D.C. government under its thumb, and may intervene whenever it feels like if the district does something it doesn't approve of. In this case, the city made possession of up to an ounce of pot punishable only by a $25 fine, and Harris amended a spending bill to forbid the city from spending money to "enact or carry out any law, rule, or regulation to legalize or otherwise reduce penalties associated with the possession, use, or distribution [of marijuana and other drugs] for recreational use."

The hole in Harris's scheme, as laid out by the Washington Post, is that the pot law will likely go into effect sometime next month, before the bill and its Senate companion have a chance to be voted in. And if the Harris amendment does pass, D.C. will be left with a law that decriminalizes pot with no money behind it to fund going after defenders.

From the Post:

But the officials familiar with the matter said the amendment could prevent the police department from printing citations, prevent cops from writing and processing them, and prevent the city government from adjudicating them. The upshot is that there might be no penalty for minor marijuana possession, they said.

Pedro Ribeiro, a spokesman for D.C. Mayor Vincent Gray, took the opportunity to jab at Congress for sticking its fingers in district affairs: "This potential unintended consequence only underscores why Congress should not meddle in local D.C. laws."

[Image via AP]

Rihanna Emerges as the World Cup's Greatest Twitter Troll

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Rihanna Emerges as the World Cup's Greatest Twitter Troll

There is always a breakout star of each World Cup, and this year the candidates are numerous. There's Jermaine Jones, who scored America's most stunning goal. There's Luis Suarez, who has been banned for biting an Italian player. There's this guy's dick. And then there's Rihanna, who has inflamed American Twitter by rooting for everyone else.

Rihanna, one of social media's true delights, has been livetweeting during a number of World Cup games this year. (It's okay if she skips work, don't worry.) Her tweets have revealed that she's "supporting" (soccer lingo) other teams besides the United States.

Here was her tweet immediately after Portugal scored a backbreaking goal to tie the U.S. on Sunday.

She also tweeted in favor of Germany after they went up 1-0 on the U.S. earlier today.

The responses to such tweets from people who perhaps don't realize that Rihanna is from Barbados more or less look like this.

There are three teams in the United States' group, and Rihanna has tweeted her support for every single one except America.

But it looks like her true favorite team is Germany.

Here's the thing: Rihanna is completely right about Germany. They might play the most creative and aesthetically pleasing soccer of any team in the world, Brazil aside. Anyone watching the World Cup just for fun should want to see Germany advance as far as possible. Rihanna knows what the fuck is up.

Also, she's watching the World Cup while smoking joints.

Just good decisions all-around from Rihanna, honestly.

[image via Getty]

The Homeless Can't Eat Publicity, But It Fills a Void

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The Homeless Can't Eat Publicity, But It Fills a Void

Gerald Weeks has a master's degree and a firm handshake, and he was looking for something to eat.

Weeks has been homeless for the past five years and when he heard that an eccentric Chinese billionaire, the recycling and construction magnate Chen Guangbiao, would be giving homeless New Yorkers access to a four-course meal at a luxury restaurant in the middle of Central Park, as well as an envelope filled with $300 cash, Weeks figured he'd try his luck.

Along with dozens of other homeless New Yorkers who had come for the free lunch, Weeks was barred access because he hadn't RSVPed and didn't have a ticket.

We were standing behind the length of a series of protective barriers across from the restaurant. A shirtless white man in Under Armour shorts biked past on a Citi Bike with a GoPro camera strapped to his sweaty forehead. Weeks insisted to me as we watched the bikers, who look perplexed by the crowd, that his being prohibited entry from the event didn't make him angry.

"I thought this might be an opportunity to seize a little change, pay what you can pay, and stay afloat for a little while." He paused. "But how far can you go with $300?"

I asked him what he'd have done with the money if he had gotten in.

"You're gonna buy some food and then what are you gonna do? You'll sit down and buy a cigarette. You can't pay no rent for $300 in New York City."

Weeks was wearing a cotton bucket hat and his shirt, on the muggy June day, was unzipped down to his chest. There were roughly 50 homeless people, and about the same number of protestors, huddled near the entrance of the Loeb Central Park Boathouse, behind barriers and looking on at a crowd of stern police officers and security guards with walkie-talkies. Weeks was relatively positive about his being on the wrong side of the gourmet feast. He had passed up a line at his local shelter to try for a better meal—one that included beef filet with horseradish-roasted potatoes—here.

"It's good for those who got served," he told me. "And for those who didn't, you know, we still got to make a desperate attempt. You got to have patience."

Few of the others were as Zen as Weeks. Many, rightfully, felt slighted or lied to.

"I don't even got a phone! I don't got an email!" Monique Lucas, a middle-aged woman who said she has been diagnosed HIV positive, had come down to 77th street from 142nd and Broadway. The rumor was that in order to be granted access to the event, people had needed to RSVP to a Hotmail email address Guangbiao had listed on the advertisements he ran in the Wall Street Journal and the New York Times. Few homeless people have access to computers, and the hefty price of a full-page advertisement in the two papers—estimated to be over $175,000—is money that could have easily gone back to the homeless community.

One toothless man exclaimed: "Some of us can't even read!"

"You get here early, you skip your breakfast. I come here and look what happened," he said, adding that he'd come here with his wife, who cradled her stomach painfully. "We are hungry," she said.

A young man named Carlos, who said he had been incarcerated for ten years on a charge he wouldn't reveal to me, was sure he had the answer to the limited access to the event. Only 250 people were allowed in, and it seems that the RSVP process was largely a lie. The contingent came from the New York City Rescue Mission in a prearranged deal.

"Tell that nigga to give me a million dollars and I'll leave him alone," Carlos suggested. He had angrily recounted in the morning how the state wouldn't help him get a place when he'd been released from jail. "I got my own house, too. They won't even let me go to my own house."

Lucas, the HIV positive woman I had been speaking to, skipped her daily treatment so she could get down to the meal early. The married couple added: "We spent our last $2.50 on subway fare. Now we gotta hop the train to try to get back on."

The Homeless Can't Eat Publicity, But It Fills a Void

There are nearly 60,000 homeless people in New York, the highest number in the city's history. The lunch stunt—which felt both tasteless and misguided in a way that only a person with more money than sense could possibly plan—was dreamed up by Guangbiao as a way to improve Chinese-American relations. In an interview with CBS This Morning, the mogul spontaneously broke out into a rendition of "We Are the World," a song he sang at luncheon.

Reports also noted that Guangbiao required diners to sing a Communist theme before being permitted to eat, then weren't even given the money they were promised. In a report by the New York Times, the New York City Rescue Mission executive director, Craig Mayes, said the group had asked the cash to be left out of the deal, fearful that their clients might spend it on drugs or alcohol. Instead, Guangbiao agreed to a $90,000 donation to the mission.

A few months ago, in another bid for Sino-American comity, Guangbiao attempted to buy the New York Times. New York magazine profiled the billionaire in January:

"If I succeed, I will conduct some necessary reforms," Chen wrote in his Global Times editorial. "The ultimate goal of which is to make the paper's reports more authentic and objective, thus rebuilding its credibility and influence."

"Chinese and U.S. medias are the head of the locomotive of the world," he says. "If both join hands together, they could exert better social benefit."

Guangbiao has been the ringleader of a number of similar events in his homeland—distributing canned air to draw attention to China's air pollution problem, smashing his own Mercedes with a crane to encourage people to take up cycling, even manning a staff of workers to aid during an earthquake in the Sichuan province. But there appears to be something here that is lost in translation. As many expressed to me yesterday, the $300 in cash wasn't exactly going to turn their fortune around, even when they believed it could be a reality for them.

David Molina, a 65-year-old immigrant from Cuba with platinum hair and a gothic tattoo of his surname running down his neck, said he was eager to move to Alaska.

When I asked what he thought of all this mayhem, he came out in support of Guangbiao. "How many people in New York don't do nothing?" And yet, here he was, a "two-hour train ride" from his shelter in Brownsville, and now with nothing to eat. "I think about that fishing boat in Alaska, man," he said, almost theatrically.

Meanwhile there were the protesters, whose complaints about Guangbiao were more political. Many of them were born in China and came to see the stunt in order to rail against the businessman's "dirty money," which they claimed comes from his involvement in the Chinese Communist Party. Zhixin An, a young man who spoke little English and identified himself as a representative of a group called the League of Roar, said that if Guangbiao really wanted to help, he wouldn't be in New York—he'd be in China, "where people need it."

Swaths of Chinese protesters chanted their disdain for Guangbiao and his politics, passing out testimonials in English that recounted stories of oppression by the Chinese Communist Party:

"They used their authority to threaten, force, and oppress people. Those corrupt greedy officials utilize the quota of our local people to forcibly occupy the central area where we used to live to build the skyscrapers. They subsequently sold the rest of houses at extremely high prices and engulf the profits themselves!"

When the protesters grew heated, yelling their tense pitches at anyone who would listen, members of the NYPD glanced wearily at each other.

The Homeless Can't Eat Publicity, But It Fills a Void

Not everyone saw Guangbiao as a self-promotional thorn. When I spoke to Michael Stoops, Community Organizer at the National Coalition for the Homeless, after the event, he was critical of those who want to take down Guangbiao's generosity.

"Critics are usually part of the housed population," he told me over the phone from D.C. "If acts such as these are a way to encourage people to do something, those things make all the difference."

Stoops recognizes the importance of bringing attention to the homeless community in any regard, even if that means one hot, free meal—"even if it's just at McDonalds."

"I used to bemoan the fact that people only thought about the homeless on Easter, Christmas Day, when it's cold. But I rethought it," he said. "It's not the solution, but it's better than doing nothing."

The Homeless Can't Eat Publicity, But It Fills a Void

When I left Central Park a few hours later, I emerged onto Lexington Avenue to the sight of a blond man in flip-flops devouring a stuffed burrito with vigor, all while he walked and talked on his smart phone. I passed him by to descend into the subway station at 77th street.

I boarded the 6 train downtown and a man with a cane and a hunch got on at the same time as me, shuffling down the length of the narrow train, which was mostly packed with young tourists, women in shades of chambray, and a few men in suits reading on their iPads. He began to ask people for change, apologizing as he walked.

On his third passage through the hall of people, he pleaded, "Can anyone find it in their heart to help someone in need?" Nobody even looked in his direction.

[Illustration by Tara Jacoby]

This Is the Worst Sports Tweet in the History of Sports Twitter

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UPDATE: Or the best! Don't let Simmons hear you mocking "pantheon" though.

Robert De Niro Just Crashed Someone's World Cup Party in Brooklyn

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Robert De Niro Just Crashed Someone's World Cup Party in Brooklyn

Robert De Niro, in town filming his forthcoming movie The Intern, reportedly just joined some unsuspecting World Cup fans at their home in Cobble Hill, Brooklyn to watch the U.S.-Germany match.

Business Insider reports that Warner Bros. initially emailed a different residence in the neighborhood to ask whether De Niro could stop by and catch the game:

"Our lead actor, Robert DeNiro, would very much like to watch the World Cup game, today at 12p," the email said. "Would it be possible to place a small portable satellite on the building rooftop ASAP and run a cable to the street to help facilitate this request?"

Those people were denied the legendary actor's presence, however, when he found a World Cup party already in progress. The unnamed resident told BI: "We got another email from a neighbor saying he talked to the crew and apparently he found a house of people watching it and joined them."

Were you there? Know someone who was? Let us know in the comments.

[Image via AP]

Here Are Maps of All the Areas Hit by Tornadoes So Far This Year

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Here Are Maps of All the Areas Hit by Tornadoes So Far This Year

Even though 2014 is another relatively quiet year for tornado activity, it's pretty interesting to see which areas of the country were most heavily affected by the couple of tornado outbreaks we've seen over the past six months.

[Note: Due to Kinja compressing the images, the maps will look blurry unless you expand them.]

I created the maps using data compiled from the Iowa Environmental Mesonet (IEM), which keeps excellent records of National Weather Service (NWS) products, including warnings and storm reports. Each black triangle on the map indicates one tornado report (note that a report of a tornado is different from a confirmed tornado), and each red box indicates one tornado warning. The data spans from 0000 UTC January 1, 2014 to 1700 UTC today, June 26.

So far this year as of 1700 UTC today (which is 1 PM Eastern Time), we've seen 922 tornado reports and 1,229 tornado warnings across 43 states and Puerto Rico.

Nationwide

Here Are Maps of All the Areas Hit by Tornadoes So Far This Year

The pattern of tornadoes across the country is roughly what you would expect for this time of year, save for the gaping hole in the central Plains where they haven't seen much in the way of storms this year. In fact, NWS Norman (central Oklahoma) has only issued seven tornado warnings this year. Seven.

The two areas that stand out the most are northeastern Colorado and the Deep South, as each have seen their fair share of tornado activity this year. Let's take a closer look at each.

Northeastern Colorado

Here Are Maps of All the Areas Hit by Tornadoes So Far This Year

Though most people don't realize it, this region of the country is always a hotbed for tornadoes. Northeastern Colorado is home to the county that sees the most tornadoes each year on average, and it's in a prime location at the foot of the Rocky Mountains to see brief spin-ups.

Thankfully, most of the tornadoes that occur in northeastern Colorado are relatively weak — only EF-0 to EF-1 in strength — and don't last very long.

Dixie Alley

Here Are Maps of All the Areas Hit by Tornadoes So Far This Year

The central part of the country is generally known as Tornado Alley due to its tendency to see large, violent tornadoes each spring, but there is a second target for violent tornado activity in the United States called "Dixie Alley." The region exists mostly across Mississippi and Alabama, where storm systems moving in from the west can meet powerful low-level southerly winds pumping in moisture from the Gulf and spin off some powerful twisters.

This was on full display back on April 27 and 28 of this year, right on the three year anniversary of the infamous tornado outbreak back in 2011. The southern United States saw the most intense outbreak of the year, with numerous EF-3 and EF-4 tornadoes causing damage from Arkansas to Alabama, killing dozens of people and causing more than one billion dollars in damage.

The Northern Plains

Here Are Maps of All the Areas Hit by Tornadoes So Far This Year

While Oklahoma has seen an almost unbelievably quiet year for tornadoes, they haven't had it so lucky to the north. Nebraska and South Dakota were raked by tornadoes just last week, with no fewer than five EF-4 tornadoes and at least one EF-3 touching down in small communities in the area.

The worst tornado(es) by far occurred in the tornado family that struck the area in/around Pilger, Nebraska back on June 16. One supercell produced five tornadoes, four of which were rated EF-4. Two of these tornadoes were "twins," or two strong, independent tornadoes forming side-by-side from the same storm.

Another EF-4 tornado hit the small community of Alpena, South Dakota, producing major damage, and an EF-2 tornado caused damage to Alpena's southwest, in a community called Wessington Springs.

Northern California

Here Are Maps of All the Areas Hit by Tornadoes So Far This Year

Not many people think of California as having a tornado season, but the northern half of the Central Valley around Sacramento often sees small, rope-like tornadoes during the early spring months. Several tornadoes formed in and around Chico and Sacramento towards the end of March, including a series of EF-1 tornadoes that produced damage around Willows, California on March 26 and 27.

Northeast

Here Are Maps of All the Areas Hit by Tornadoes So Far This Year

Thankfully, the heavily-populated northeastern United States hasn't seen much in the way of tornadoes this year. The worst tornado in the northeast occurred in Duanesburg, New York back on May 22. The tornado was rated an EF-3, and many residents didn't receive the warning issued by the NWS in Albany due to a major communications outage the plagued the agency that afternoon.

Several smaller tornadoes formed across the region, including a small unwarned tornado that hit Lock Haven, Pennsylvania last month and another small tornado that touched down near the Maine/Canada border at the end of May.


As we're almost halfway through 2014, we will definitely see more tornado activity than what we've seen so far. Major tornado outbreaks are not uncommon during the fall months, but hopefully the rest of the year will follow the slow trend.


You can follow the author on Twitter and contact him via email.


North Carolina Teen Fatally Shot Weeks After Protesting Gun Violence

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North Carolina Teen Fatally Shot Weeks After Protesting Gun Violence

Ravon Jordan, 19, was killed outside a house party in Fayetteville, North Carolina early Sunday morning. Just last month, he spoke out against gun violence at a city council meeting, pressuring officials to close the Cambridge Arms Apartments after four murders occurred there.

The Fayetteville Observer reports that Jordan was killed "after he was shot in the head during a gunfight between two rival gangs" outside the house party. According to The New York Daily News, police are still looking for the gang members who fired at least 70 shots outside the party.

At the city council meeting, Jordan expressed concern that there was not enough security or care for people living in fear of gun violence in Fayetteville. "I don't feel like as a resident in an apartment complex you should be paying basically for your gravesite. You shouldn't be paying to be killed or murdered in your own house. When you move into a home, you don't expect to die," he said. The violent crime rate in Fayetteville has been a topic of increasing concern in the last three years.

Jordan's older brother, Rometrius, told the Observer that gang members shot Jordan through a car window. "For something like this to happen, it's just so unreal to me," he said.

[Image via YouTube]

Terry Richardson’s Prom Night and Punk Youth: Vintage Photos Unearthed

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Terry Richardson’s Prom Night and Punk Youth: Vintage Photos Unearthed

This morning we received an email from someone claiming to be Christopher Judges, a figure from famous fashion photographer/perv Terry Richardson's youth. He would like to tell you a little bit their history and the man Uncle Terry has become.

Even if you read New York Magazine's June 15th profile of Richardson and kept up with the ensuing fallout (the article was less than perfect and not entirely well-received) over the past couple of weeks, Judges' name may not ring a bell. He only got a brief mention in the piece:

When Terry was 14, he swallowed 40 pills; his stomach was pumped again. Then his mother decided to move north to Ojai and pull her son out of Hollywood High. This "shattered" Terry, according to Christopher Judges, a friend at the time. He got into punk rock, playing bass in a band called Invisible Government of the World and writing a song called "What Is Love? Love Is Pain."

This morning out of nowhere, a totally unsolicited email landed in our inbox from Judges (we looked into it and it checked out). He would like to tell you a bit more about himself and his time with Richardson.

Ben wallace interviewed me for two and a half hours about T R 's early days for new york magazine I was T Rs father figure from about 14 to 21years I think TR resented his mother having her accident and his father being skitzo and deserting him. It should be noted TR changed after being around his father.

When I knew TR he was a great guy but he has hurt so many people who helped him

TR is a mimic and would appear to show an antisocial personality disorder

Christopher Judges

A pretty random email to suddenly appear in your inbox nearly two weeks after the article's publication, but okay — just a little armchair analysis to go with all the allegations of Richardson's sexually predatory behavior.

Judges also included several pictures of a young Terry Richardson.

Terry Richardson’s Prom Night and Punk Youth: Vintage Photos Unearthed

At left, Judges and Richardson; to the right, Richardson's high school prom portrait. No doubt Uncle Terry would have preferred his prom night to have been captured in front of a glaring white background and given a high contrast finish — maybe even throw in a dick, or at least some nipples — but the American Prom Experience isn't always about getting what you want. (It is, however, about wearing all the scarf you want.)

Next up, Richardson's musical years with his band Invisible Government of the World.

Terry Richardson’s Prom Night and Punk Youth: Vintage Photos Unearthed

On the left, Richardson's playing bass and standing next to the drummer. In the black and white image, he's crouching in the front row. The blonde years, as it were.

Time for a musical break! Here's an Invisible Government video; you can get a decent look at Richardson struttin' with his bass at about 3:13.

Finally, Judges' email ended with creepy side-by-side images of himself and Richardson:

Terry Richardson’s Prom Night and Punk Youth: Vintage Photos Unearthed

This one feels particularly haunting. The implication seems to be that Richardson's signature style was influenced by Judges — Judges did call him a "mimic" — though being that dude's inspiration for anything probably isn't the sort of thing you'd want to shout from the rooftops.

We followed up with Judges to see if he had anything to add to his original email, but he has yet to respond. UPDATE: Judges had more to say; you can read the full email here.

Lead image via AP.

​Big Brother Introduces Some Of Its Ideas About What People Are Like

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​Big Brother Introduces Some Of Its Ideas About What People Are Like

Big Brother started its 16th season last night by introducing only half of its contestants, which was in some ways a thrilling twist because where are the other ones? But also kind of a downer, because they are mostly horrible. Or at least duds.

We didn't get the big racist cowboy guy—that's tonight—but we did get some awfully strange concepts in the guise of humans. For example, meet DJ Paola.

​Big Brother Introduces Some Of Its Ideas About What People Are Like

(Pictured with and without fun hat.)

Usually the thirsty person who comes into the house looking to fuck is one of two types: Either the "I'm a player" guy who turns out to be a huge softy that is not in fact a player but a charming gentleman (and/or slightly misogynistic Nice Guy), or a girl who hates women so much she will destroy them from inside the alliance she herself constructed (out of pieces of herself she hates; i.e., other women).

But In this case, the thirsty person is a DJ who wears a Blossom hat and suspenders, and seems to hide a keen intelligence behind a lot of sociological adaptive behaviors that make her seem deeply unthreatening. The former (horny) type, I do not care for, but the latter type—women who are able to seem stupid no matter how clever they actually are—is something I very much admire.

There is a dark horse going the other way: Meet Blonde Girl. (Maybe Nicole? But don't hold me to that.)

​Big Brother Introduces Some Of Its Ideas About What People Are Like

(Pictured: Nicole, possibly.)

If so, Nicole shows up in the pre-package looking like the girl in a high school movie who is set to take off her glasses and reveal a hottie, but when she takes off her glasses in this case, this happens instead.

​Big Brother Introduces Some Of Its Ideas About What People Are Like

I love Blonde Girl, she's my second-favorite at this time. She has the strangest accent in the world, if you don't count this guy:

​Big Brother Introduces Some Of Its Ideas About What People Are Like

(Pictured: Just your average schoolyard maintenance man without any secrets.)

Who is clearly the King in Yellow for all intents and purposes, and appears to be a serial murderer, until he opens his mouth. This is how homeboy talks:

It is surprising! I like surprises. Like for example, I would love the surprise of finding out that this "lateral, oblique and abdominal muscle" prototype from a medical school was actually super decent, super smart, or otherwise someone to root for:

​Big Brother Introduces Some Of Its Ideas About What People Are Like

(Pictured: Priorities very much in order.)

His name is, I'm assuming and I think I'm correct, is Cody. He is also down to fuck, this season, which makes him a good match for DJ Paola. And guess what? They are down to fuck each other! So score one for romance. Sometimes you just know.

Devin is inherently interesting, insofar as being a black man—especially a hot and/or gigantic black man—is usually the worst move you can pull coming into the game. Historically, choosing to enter the Big Brother house as a giant black man is even worse of an idea than choosing to be born a giant black man in the everyday world.

While it's compelling and edifying every year to watch the female black contestants constantly remind themselves (and each other) not to "fall into the Angry Black Woman trope" (also known as "having an opinion" or "not being a mute robot"), in some ways it's even more nerve-wracking to watch the men try to escape this parallel curse, because it's the nexus of such an ugly set of associations we don't even have a parallel name for it.

​Big Brother Introduces Some Of Its Ideas About What People Are Like

(Pictured: Every racist's worse nightmare and hottest fantasy at the same time.)

One strategy might be to be super weird, though! So maybe Devin will be the one to figure it out, because what is weirder than having an instant crush on this monster of a human being:

​Big Brother Introduces Some Of Its Ideas About What People Are Like

(Pictured: Rachel Maddow plus Kate Gosselin equals monsters.)

Who says she is from Seattle but clearly has escaped from the set of Portlandia. If you ever wanted to know what CBS thinks is hip and hot among the younger liberal set, this is what they think of you, person they are trying to impress:

"I'm a Democrat, on the way liberal side. My way is the highway! Left Wing is the only way to be. I would love to see if there's [sic] any hot, liberal men in the house, and see if we click!"

— said no one in the history of spoken language except this one person

Which, viewed through that lens, is fucking hateful. "After last year's racist bonanza, we are angling to acquire and keep the NPR demographic around. Let's find someone very intelligent and very left-wing, maybe with some hair concepts happening up top." And then this is what they came up with: A person who is not technically a person but a collection of bad ideas, like if Megyn Kelly were to imagine her worst possible Presidential nominee. And Joey would definitely be the worst houseguest!

Except then you have this:

​Big Brother Introduces Some Of Its Ideas About What People Are Like

(Pictured: I don't acknowledge it, and I won't respond to it, but there it is.)

That's Frankie Grande, whose sister is Ariana Grande but that's not even the most important thing about him, per Frankie Grande: He is also a YouTube and Twitter celebrity!

As every gay man knows, there is a job opening available to you from birth for the role of "gay dude so inconsequential that straight girls feel okay pushing him around." It is a fine role—women deserve somebody to push around!—but most of us opt out, if not immediately then at some point down the line. But if you don't, then you have a certain kind of popularity and a huge amount of a specific kind of freedom.

I am not going to judge your choices! There are a million ways to be gay. But it seems to me very naïve to, in the spirit of that nonjudgmental inclusiveness, ignore the fact that each and every one of us is a social construct, no matter what we are born working with, who has been adapting to the needs and desires of those around us in a hundred thousand different ways. And in this case, adapting to the form of Frankie Grande means what you are shooting for, and will almost unquestionably be achieving, is at best this bullshit:

Which makes me wonder: What is victory really? Is it as simple as bunting your entire life so you can have friends as shitty as Joey from Seattle? Because good for you for setting a goal and accomplishing it (with almost no effort).

​Big Brother Introduces Some Of Its Ideas About What People Are Like

(Pictured: The crazy eyes, which indicates at least two things immediately.)

And finally we have Amber, my very most favorite, who because I know her name right off the bat and fell in instant love with her means she is definitely going home, immediately. They're already noticing how "dedicated and driven" she is, which is a threat other houseguests take very seriously. Especially when they are women, beautiful, or non-white. Sorry Amber. You should suck at things more, that's my advice. At least for a little while.

So that's your BB16 cast, as we know it so far. After a dumb competition in which half the people pretended to lose and the other half pretended they were pretending to lose, we had our first Head of Household, and it was this maniac:

​Big Brother Introduces Some Of Its Ideas About What People Are Like

Which is fine, because A) There is a twist so remarkable coming up that nobody knows what it is, including possibly the people that made it up, and B) The first Head of Household means less than nothing, so I won't even bother running through the rules or the meaning of that phrase at this juncture. It doesn't matter. All you need to know is that Frankie Grande won the first challenge, and it will lead to his downfall one way or the other, but NO WAY is the show getting rid of him this early, so the twists and turns are already priming up to keep him around.

Have you watched the show before? Would you say these eight people are... The worst? I know everybody says that about every season of every show, and certainly on shows like this where the draw—for them in the house, for us outside it—is getting yourself into absurdly intimate relationships with strangers you may not remember in a year... But I still feel like these people are remarkably shitty, overall. What they are not is particularly boring, as the only thing more interesting than a person who is a person is a person who is no longer a person, which is why I donate most of my money to the Illuminati, via its pop singers and occasionally its reality TV hosts.

​Big Brother Introduces Some Of Its Ideas About What People Are Like

[Images and video via CBS]

Morning After is a new home for television discussion online, brought to you by Gawker. Follow @GawkerMA and read more about it here.

Do the Anti-Tech Protests Still Matter?

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Do the Anti-Tech Protests Still Matter?

Outside of Google I/O yesterday morning, San Francisco's usual squad of anti-tech protesters assembled to air their usual list of grievances against the Valley giant. They may have traded their clown costumes for Star Wars outfits, but the rallying calls were all the same: no more evictions, Google's buses are hurting Muni, and the company perpetuates inequality.

The protest, organized by a coalition that included the SEIU labor union and Eviction Free San Francisco, specifically targeted Google executive Jack Halprin and the low wages paid by Google to security guards and other contractors. Halprin, who works as legal counsel for Google, was previously the subject of two protests in April. Demonstrators claimed he evicted seven families in the Mission District to convert a multi-unit apartment building into a single-family home.

At one point during Wednesday's three-hour-long protest outside the developer conference, San Francisco Supervisor John Avalos told the 50 person crowd outside the Moscone Center that Google was "privatizing everything that's good in this world."

"Google has billions of dollars, and they cannot pay their janitors and security workers a living wage. It's disgusting!"

Then Avalos, who campaigned on these issues against tech-friendly Ed Lee during the 2011 mayoral race, issued a call to action against San Francisco's accelerating inequality:

Community and labor is fighting for a better world. We're fighting for a sustainable economy, for a fair economy, [for an economy] that looks into the opportunity to serve everybody—from housing to healthcare to education. We have all this wealth, but it's going back to the wealthy; it's not coming back into our neighborhoods. We cannot lose out in this defining moment in San Francisco. We have a few years left to be able to shape this city in a direction that supports working people. Maybe two, three years, and then it gets so much more challenging to shift things back.

Do the Anti-Tech Protests Still Matter?

Fixing income inequality and gentrification in San Francisco sounds like its outside of Google's purview—because it is—but it comes from a place of desperation. It is clear protesters feel the lower and middle-classes are rapidly losing ground in San Francisco, and if things don't turn around soon, it will be too late.

Yet the recent wave of anti-tech protests have seen quite a bit of success. Since demonstrators began targeting the Mission District last fall, they've made gentrification and displacement an everyday topic in San Francisco and forced city leaders to address the problem. The mayor has embraced raising the minimum wage to $15 a hour and an anti-speculation tax is going to the city's ballot in November. Multiple pro-tenant measures have been passed, payouts for evicted tenants have been dramatically raised, and even Republican venture capitalist Ron Conway has been pressured into supporting eviction reform.

However, the movement's impact is waning. The script has stayed largely the same and turnout has hit a ceiling. The major thing holding media interest is the activists' increasing histrionics. While sympathetic politicians like Supervisor Avalos continue to push for the cause on a local level, efforts in Sacramento to curb Ellis Act evictions have hit a roadblock.

Has blocking Google buses, protesting outside executive's homes, and picketing conferences outlived its utility?

Do the Anti-Tech Protests Still Matter?

In an interview with Valleywag, Erin McElroy, the most visible activist with Eviction Free San Francisco, concedes their movement is struggling to gain further momentum as it is. In San Francisco, retweets have replaced chanting protesters, and politicians—no matter how tech-friendly—respond to mass anger rather than radical outrage.

McElroy says keyboard slacktivism has replaced large rallies. "Not only are we up against the impact the tech boom is having on local displacement, but we're also up against an organizing culture that's become too reliant on technology."

Now with street level protests experiencing low turnout and declining influence over moderate politicians, activists are looking towards new methods to score victories locally. Encouraged by repeated success at the ballot box in curbing luxury waterfront development in the city, activists are beginning to focus on direct democracy to push policy that the Mayor and his high-tech backers would ordinarily shy away form. This includes the aforementioned anti-speculation tax, which McElory says will "impose a graduated tax on speculators who flip buildings within five years of ownership."

It might seem like the activists have successfully fulfilled their mission: they brought the negative effects of tech-fueled gentrification into the limelight and moved onto influencing policy. However, McElroy sees it differently. In order the keep the movement going, local activists are expanding their target, going after Silicon Valley's negative impact beyond the Bay Area, both politically and economically.

As Occupy Wall Street brought wider attention to perils of Big Banks, McElroy believes a similar movement in San Francisco could do the same for Big Tech.

What we're seeing here in terms of [San Francisco's] displacement crisis is related to the different ways that Google and other tech companies accumulate money nationally and internationally. Whether it's offshoring money, corporate lobbying in Washington D.C., or exploiting people, there are a lot of [issues] people are already protesting all over that amount to [tech companies] being able to pay their workers sometimes $200,000 a piece out here where income inequality is growing more rapidly than anyplace in the United States. And I think those connections need to be made and actually have the potential to help develop a broader movement.

Ultimately, McElroy sees what is happening in San Francisco "as fallout" from tech's increasing adoption of typical corporate practices. She and her fellow activists are "eager" to start drawing connections between San Francisco's anti-tech protests and national opposition to surveillance, tax avoidance, and lobbying.

But raising awareness only goes so far. Occupy Wall Street was incredibly successful at drawing media attention, but failed to accomplish any real change. The Bay Area's anti-tech movement will have to beyond a ten person campout at Google's Headquarters if they want to wield influence over Congress.

To contact the author of this post, please email kevin@valleywag.com.

Harrier Has Stuck Nose Gear, Lands On A Stool, Pilot Is Awesome

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Harrier Has Stuck Nose Gear, Lands On A Stool, Pilot Is Awesome

They say Harrier pilots are some of the best in the world as the aircraft is notoriously hard to handle in hover. This video is further proof that this statement is true. Talk about nailing it!

Note to Lockheed Martin: Build custom nose stool for the F-35B!

Thanks to alert5 news blog for posting this!

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