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George Clooney Will Guest Star in Downton Abbey Film

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George Clooney Will Guest Star in Downton Abbey Film

According to the Hollywood Reporter, former lifetime bachelor George Clooney is set to appear in a short Downton Abbey-related film that will air during the holiday season on ITV.

"Oh, 'ello, mate! Whut ah you dewwin' 'ere!" "Oh, 'ello! Oim George Clooney, no'ed actah from the states." "Noice to meet you, oim Lady Mary!," etc. Is that how it's going to be? The Hollywood Reporter doesn't say, but they do report that the film will be part of an annual charity campaign:

The film is part of ITV's annual Text Santa campaign that raises money for six U.K. charities. Clooney's role in the film has not yet been revealed.

"Oh, 'ello, so noice to raise money for charity, inn'it, Mr. Clooney?" "Oi, Lady Mary, t'is! Let's not let this get pear-shaped, oi?" "Oi!"

Downton Abbey will return to ITV for its fifth season this month, and will start on PBS on January 4, 2015.

[image via Getty]


The Entirety of Gilmore Girls Will Soon Be on Netflix

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The Entirety of Gilmore Girls Will Soon Be on Netflix

What will you be doing October 1st? It's not even that far away. What we will be doing is watching Gilmore Girls on Netflix—yes, Gilmore Girls is coming to Netflix on October 1!!!—and wondering, even though I already know the answers, but my heart never quite does:

  • Will Lorelai Gilmore ever meet a man who is both straight and a human being?
  • Will Emily Gilmore ever really understand what she did to her daughter?
  • Will Rory ever find a man or boy who matches her in literacy but is maybe her better in self-righteousness?
  • Does Lorelai even like men, and if so, does she like them with their hats on only? I hope so because it is mess under there.
  • Is it possible to overlook Tristan and focus on Logan, one day, one day how there will be Logan?
  • Is it weird that I long for those moments when both Lorelai and Rory obsess over Richard Gilmore as if he is their boyfriend played by special guest star Edward Hermann, even though really he is just their dad and it's not that weird?
  • How come everywhere they go, the people are psychologically the same?: If you don't have a Paris where you are, please contact the Michel to your left, and if you're really in a pinch, contact Milo Ventimiglia, the homeless version of those robot people.
  • Who plays lobby harp at the Independence Inn these days? Is the Dragonfly silent?
  • Remember that time Emily bought special shoes so Rory could walk her through what she did not know was her nightmare of a life? Will any episode of television outmatch that, ever? Remember when Emily fuckin' booked it?
  • Can I personally bust into my actual television to try and explain Mitchum Huntzberger and Rory Gilmore to each other? It won't work but I feel like I could do this, and then utopia would result.
  • What if Dean built you a car, and then you could sleep on top of his giant body at a dance studio and eventually dump his ass forever? That would be amazing.

The first episode of Gilmore Girls I ever saw was the one where Lorelai figured out that her daughter had finally experienced lovemaking and even though she was the sex-positive star of the sex-positive show that bore her name, she still wrecked shop and went fucking crazy on her daughter. She found a pile of CD's and chased that big-eyed beauty throughout their palace and into the street, screaming, "I am not trying to slut-shame you! But I am trying to shame you! And I hope you're not a slut!" And I was 100% in.

As you will be, October first, when the entirety of Gilmore Girls becomes suddenly available to you. Trust me, it all floods back:

[Image via Warner Bros.]

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Millennials, Who Are Sheep in Thrall to Advertising, Want to Be Unique

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Millennials, Who Are Sheep in Thrall to Advertising, Want to Be Unique

The "millennials," a demographically desirable generation that is defined by its blind fealty to the advertising agencies most capable of portraying corporate brands as non-corporate, has declared that—above all—it wants to be seen as unique.

In response to millennials' stated desire to be unique, America's largest corporate retailers are busily redesigning their fashions to superficially appear to be somewhat less like the fashions that these same retailers have been known for selling to previous generations. It's all part of their corporate strategy to channel the human impulses of this newest cool generation into materialism, as these corporations have successfully done for so many past generations. From Reuters:

Alison LePard, a 19-year-old college sophomore from Wellesley, Massachusetts, says that when she shops for clothes and accessories, her goal is a look that is uniquely hers. So she does a lot of mixing and matching.

"I don't blindly follow what they put out," LePard said of store displays. "I don't want to wear just one brand. I don't want to be a stereotype."

Millennials will not be a stereotype; they will wear H&M and Urban Outfitters clothing at the same time. The millennial generation will not blindly accept the lies and bullshit of the corporate world; they will, through the power of their collective spirit, force the corporate world to redesign its logo, to be more appealing to their demographic.

Everything is different now.

[Photo via some corporate bullshit]

Nick Offerman Has Just One Piece of Advice for College Freshmen

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School's back in session, and another class of college freshmen is embarking on the traditional years-long journey of learning, drinking, fucking, and non-dischargeable debt. It's too late to save them now, but Nick Offerman has one exquisite dram of wisdom that could make their time go more smoothly: Don't use your roommate's soap.

Well, that's basically what he said, anyway. Close enough.

Previously in Nick Offerman and education: The time he lectured the media on the Bill of Rights.

[h/t Fallon]

Should You Be a Teen? Find Out With The Emoji Tatler

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Should You Be a Teen? Find Out With The Emoji Tatler

Thousands of years ago, the ancient Egyptians used a standardized series of hieroglyphic symbols called mdw'w-nṯr ("god's words") to disseminate celebrity gossip. Today, we do the same thing, but inside of a computer somehow. Nothing ever changes, except computers, which are constantly updating their Adobe Flash programs. This is The Emoji Tatler.

What follows is a news headline from today, re-written in the modern pictographic language known as "Emoji." Lines 1 and 2 establish the characters. Line 3 is the headline itself. (As with hierogylphs, the same Emoji symbol can be interpreted in multiple ways.) Read it to discover a piece of urgent celebrity news.

Should You Be a Teen? Find Out With The Emoji Tatler

Having trouble interpreting this story? The source text for this edition of The Emoji Tatler can be found hidden in plain sight somewhere online. If you, like an idiot, are unable to decipher the meaning conveyed by this Emoji broadsheet, we encourage you to check back at 12 p.m., when this post will be updated to include a translation in Roman characters.

Thank you for

Should You Be a Teen? Find Out With The Emoji Tatler





[Art by Jim Cooke // Emoji via Slack]

Safety Schools, Ranked

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Safety Schools, Ranked

A "safety school" is a euphemism for an institution of higher learning that's a backup for wealthy high school students who are too dumb to go to Harvard. Here they are, ranked:

22. Tufts

21. [Live at home, save some money, read miscellaneous interesting Reddit pages]

20. NYU

19. Connecticut College

18. Dartmouth

17. Skidmore

16. Occidental

15. Elon

14. Bates

13. Trinity

12. BU

11. Washington University in St. Louis

10. Hobart and William Smith

9. Boston College

8. Kenyon

7. College of Charleston

6. Johns Hopkins

5. St. Andrews (UK)

4. George Washington

3. Emory

2. Hamilton

1. Cornell

Photo via Facebook

Gizmodo This Is What a Watch Expert Thinks of the Apple Watch | Jalopnik This Strange Lock-Picking T

How Far Will a Malibu Rehab Go For Its Patients?

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How Far Will a Malibu Rehab Go For Its Patients?

As two people who have spent a significant portion of their lives working in, or as clients of, rehabilitation centers across the nation (Chris is a recovering heroin addict who works as a freelancer, and Joe is a recovering alcoholic who owns a sober living center) we are intimately aware of the nuances of the rehabilitation "industry."

"Rehab in Malibu" has become somewhat of a cliche. Not long after Promises launched the "Malibu model" of addiction treatment in 2004, which features luxurious accommodations and concierge-like services alongside therapy and other rehabilitative services, a cottage industry of addiction recovery centers sprang up along the California coastline. As more centers opened, there was a race among them: Who could become the most opulent? Who could attract the biggest celebrities, the deepest-pocketed addicts? Rehabs needed better living quarters, higher-caliber chefs, to operate with the most tight-lipped discretion. We wondered—what are the limits of a Malibu rehab's indulgence? When does "um, no, that would be absurd" come as an answer to the demand of a seemingly gilded client?

To find out, we contacted several rehabs and made outrageous requests for treatment. Here's how it went: We emailed rehab admissions and pretended to be the personal assistant for a "high net-worth individual." We implied that our boss was either a distinguished actress or a prominent businessman. For callback numbers, we left the toll-free lines to major financial corporations or film companies. Either way, we always insisted upon "utmost discretion."

Granted, we may have been dealing with people who were genuinely trying to help us. Who knows? The key word is "may," because sadly, these instances of special treatment so often come with a ridiculous price tag. You be the judge.

Rehab #1: Creative Care Malibu

The price tag for a stint at Creative Care Malibu is a meager $45,000, mere chump change for a Malibu wellness getaway (and the cheapest one we encountered). We called admissions and inquired on behalf of our boss, saying that a requisite for her treatment would be that she could retain her nudist lifestyle.

The verdict? Sure! A representative for Creative Care said that the center "specializes in individualized personal treatment, with the emphasis on thinking outside the box." If our boss were to obtain a private room, she could "practice her lifestyle choice in private." And since the houses there are gender specific, she could "always ask the other women if they are comfortable with her walking around in the common areas nude as well." We asked if our boss could receive actual therapy in the nude. We were told that "six of our seven licensed primary therapists are female" and that the representative would ask them.

Accommodation rating: 3/5 stars

Rehab #2: Journey Malibu

We emailed Journey Malibu with this request:

I have a very bizarre question… my boss has entered a phase of her life and career where she chooses not to speak unless it is in front of camera. Would this be an issue for treatment if she insists on continuing this way?

We told Journey that our boss not only opted for muteness, but also demanded to communicate through a small note pad she kept on her body. The Journey team was very helpful. A representative replied to us: "I met with the treatment team this morning, and we discussed the potential of taking a client who will not be verbal, and we came up with a plethora of non-verbal, creative, healing ideas, and would welcome the opportunity to treat your boss." And what do these creative, healing ideas cost? $68,000 per month.

Accommodation rating: 5/5 stars

Rehab #3: Cliffside Malibu

We'll let this email exchange speak for itself.

Greetings

My name is Janet Turnit and I am a personal assistant for a high net-worth individual who is seeking treatment. I am currently out of the country and cannot speak over the telephone. Would it be possible to correspond with someone in admission over email? If so, please contact me ASAP.

Best

Janet

Janet,

Please email me any questions you may have about Cliffside Malibu. Attached is a program summary for your convenience. I am always available via email or phone at ***-***-****.

Speak to you soon,

***** *****

Admissions

Cliffside Malibu

***-***-****

*****,

Thank you for getting back to me so quickly. Again, it's difficult for me to speak on the phone at the moment, but I should be able to do so within a couple days. As for my boss, she is an eccentric person. We have had difficulty in getting her to embrace the idea of treatment, but she is finally on board. She is battling addiction to alcohol and pain medication. In addition to this, she is very strong willed and particular about her lifestyle. A requisite for her treatment would be that she could have her two King Charles Cavaliers stay with her. I know it must be a strange request, but I have to ask. There are no financial restrictions. It's also important that discretion be met with this person. I'm assuming that wouldn't be an issue.

Janet

Janet,

Confidentiality is a certainty at Cliffside. We allow pets under the conditions that they are friendly, the owner signs a liability waiver, and she must be in a private room. Also, there is an additional $5,000.00 payment for the lovely dogs. Thus, cost in a private room is $78,000 for 30 days including the pet fee the total would be $83,000.00 plus any medication needed.

Cliffside is accustomed to‎ having unique individuals looking for treatment. Our dignity and respect model helps everyone feel special and most important safe to do the necessary recovery work.

Call me anytime.

*********

Admissions

Cliffside Malibu

***-***-****

Excellent. Good to hear about the confidentiality. I forwarded your email to my employer and she was very pleased. Price is not an issue. She wants to know if her groomer could stay with her as well. Obviously the groomer would not participate in the recovery work. The King Charles Cavaliers are her most prized possessions, and she spares no expense for them.

Janet

We can find an apartment for the groomer about 1 mile away and he or she can come to the facility as needed. We have done this in the past for personal trainers, nannies, and such.

*******

Admissions

Cliffside Malibu

***-***-****

Okay. Will relay. Do you know how often the groomer can come? Also she wants to know if she will have to write during her stay. She is accustomed to dictating everything to a scribe. She has issues with personal penmanship and typing.

J

How often do the dogs need to be groomed?

She will have to do Admissions Paperwork and a bio/psych/social. Other than that not much writing. She should invest in the speech recognition software that you speak words that type on the screen.

Are you her assistant? You can be available for the bio/psych/social as she dictates.

********

Admissions

Cliffside Malibu

***-***-****

Yes I am her assistant, I have been with her for 8 years. The dogs see the groomer everyday generally, but he usually does much more than simple grooming. They have a wardrobe that rivals a human's and probably surpasses most in cost. He dresses the dogs and trains them constantly. I have felt he has an issue with substances as well, but for now I am concerned with only getting her into treatment. If he agreed to go as a patient/client would that be permitted? This really isn't as important, but I can foresee this becoming a question at some point.

J

Yes, he can be a client. That would be best scenario. Are they romantically involved?

******

Admissions

Cliffside Malibu

***-***-****

No, he is extremely flamboyant and definitely homosexual but he fails to accept it. Maybe you could help with that?

J

I'm flamboyant yet not homosexual :)

Let me know how I can be of service.

*******

Admissions

Cliffside Malibu

***-***-****

Haha. I guess that came out wrong. I will get back to you within a couple days most likely. Thank you for being so helpful.

J

Excellent. I'm always available my personal number is ***-***-****. By the way, I was only having some fun with my comment before.

Be well,

*******

Admissions

Cliffside Malibu

***-***-****

Accommodation rating: 5/5 stars

Needless to say, when an addict or alcoholic is dictating the terms of their treatment, the outcome tends to be disastrous. The disease of addiction is centered on the mind. Nobody likes to believe they are suffering from a mental illness; through our own experiences we have found that the people who are most successful in treating their illness need an ample dose of humility to accept that they have one. When they are adamant about controlling the terms of treatment and methods for help, they are generally not ready for the healing process to begin.

But it appears that $83,000 per month will buy someone just about any type of treatment he or she desires.

Christopher O'Connor is a freelancer. Joe Shrank owns a sober living center and founded thefix.com.

[Image by Jim Cooke]


What is best in life?

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What is best in life? Do poor people deserve families? What kind of an indolent loser works only one job? Has Horatio Alger been reincarnated in the body of a "former high school student and current college student" with opinions? The answers may surprise you.

Sixth Graders Assigned Venn Diagram of Hitler and George W. Bush

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Sixth Graders Assigned Venn Diagram of Hitler and George W. Bush

A teacher at McKinley Middle School in Washington, D.C. sent their sixth grade students home with an assignment from a "war and peace" section in the curriculum: compare and contrast Adolf Hitler and former U.S. President George W. Bush in a Venn diagram. "Both men abused their powers," the teacher apparently explained.

At least one parent complained, describing the assignment to NBC Washington as having "a certain lack of respect for the office of the president." The school district has since apologized for the assignment, saying that the teacher exhibited "poor judgment." From the school's statement:

This week, a DCPS teacher created a worksheet to assign as homework which asked students to compare and contrast President George W. Bush and Adolf Hitler, after reading two texts. No DCPS curriculum materials suggest in any way that teachers should compare the texts in this manner or compare Hitler to any other individual. One text, "Fighting Hitler – A Holocaust Story" is part of the current suggested materials. The text about President Bush is not suggested as part of the current year's curriculum, but was included last year in a separate unit. The teacher deeply regrets this mistake, and any suggestion to malign the presidency or make any comparison in this egregious way.

[H/T DCist // Image via Matt Ashburn]

Everyone Remembers the Weather Thirteen Years Ago

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Everyone Remembers the Weather Thirteen Years Ago

When something major happens in our lives, we remember the strangest details. The smell of the car, the music on the radio, what we ate. One of the biggest things that people remember about that day thirteen years ago was the sky. Damn, that was a blue sky.

Much like those "where were you" conversation starters, the weather is the ultimate conversation piece and a powerful uniting factor. Everyone experiences the weather, and not a retrospective goes by without multiple people mentioning one thing: the weather was simply gorgeous that day. I grew up near Washington D.C. in northern Virginia and I remember staring at the vivid blue sky that morning. Every video of that day shows the dichotomy between the horror below and the crystal clear sky above.

Everyone Remembers the Weather Thirteen Years Ago

Pilots and meteorologists like to refer to a deep, brilliantly-blue sky as "severe clear." An atmosphere dominated by a strong high pressure often features nothing but vivid blue, bright sunshine, and a light wind. The weather usually plays a huge role in our lives when it turns sour. A tornado. A hurricane. A flood. But who remembers such a pristine atmosphere for more than a few days? The weather that morning was perfect thanks to a cold front that had swung through just a few hours earlier. If the front and its associated rain/clouds came through any later, there's a chance that it may have quite literally changed the course world history.

Whenever we have a particularly bad thunderstorm, I remember the intense wind and hail that fell the evening after my grandmother's funeral. Every time I walk outside on a cold winter's night and detect the faint smell of a wood fireplace, it immediately puts me back in high school when I would walk down the middle of my empty street at midnight, the fresh snow crunching beneath my feet.

Small things can be a powerful trigger, and big things etch into our brains the smallest details. History is filled with days where we humans remember terrible weather events, but there is not another time in history where the lack of weather was so noteworthy.

[top image by the author, map via NOAA]


You can follow the author on Twitter or send him an email.

Witnesses: Cops Kept Arresting Dying Cyclist After Running Him Over

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Witnesses: Cops Kept Arresting Dying Cyclist After Running Him Over

Guy Blouin, 48, died in Quebec City, Canada, last week. According to witnesses, he had been run over by a police cruiser after riding his bicycle the wrong way on a one-way street, and officers continued to arrest him even after blood poured out of his mouth.

The police had apparently attempted to pull Blouin over, but somehow hit him instead. The Toronto Sun spoke with two witnesses to the incident, which took place in Quebec City's Saint-Roch district:

"He went under the wheels," said Bibi, who would only give her first name. She said the cruiser then shifted into drive and ran Blouin over a second time.

Witness Sylvie Dion described a "rough arrest" in which officers pinned Blouin to the ground by both of his arms.

Bibi added: "I saw the blood coming out of his mouth, he shouted 'I'm hurt.'"

The officers at the scene reportedly placed Blouin's bike in the trunk of their cruiser and drove off, then later returned and put it back in place.

Another witness told Radio-Canada Blouin was pinned under a tire for 15 seconds, and a fourth described seeing him spit blood while officers attempted to make the arrest.

Blouin died in the hospital Wednesday, September 3, several hours after the crash. Quebec's provincial police are investigating.

[Image via Evo Lucas, h/t Reddit]

Andrew Garfield Says Andrew Garfield Absolutely Didn't Ruin Spider-Man 2

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Andrew Garfield Says Andrew Garfield Absolutely Didn't Ruin Spider-Man 2

Bleeding heart beardo and Emma Stone-dater Andrew Garfield has taken some time to reflect on why the latest Spider-Man movie he starred in, The Amazing Spider-Man 2, sucked so bad. Here's his conclusion: he 100 percent had nothin' to do with it. In an interview with the Daily Beast, he explained:

I think what happened was, through the pre-production, production, and post-production, when you have something that works as a whole, and then you start removing portions of it–because there was even more of it than was in the final cut, and everything was related. Once you start removing things and saying, "No, that doesn't work," then the thread is broken, and it's hard to go with the flow of the story.

So yeah, uh, those producers ... those producers took out the good parts. Those parts featured, funnily enough, the incredible Method work of one Andrew Garfield:

I got to work in deep scenes that you don't usually see in comic book movies, and I got to explore this orphan boy—a lot of which was taken out, and which we'd explored more.

The Amazing Spider-Man 2 currently has a 53 percent Rotten Tomatoes ranking. It did just okay at the box office.

[Photo via AP]

Do You Remember Where You Were When Apple Watch?

Libya Is Turning Into the Next Iraq

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Libya Is Turning Into the Next Iraq

Operation OK Let's Go Back There And Maybe Clean Up Some Spots We Missed, But You Know We're Just Gonna End Up Making A Mess Again is a go. Too bad; we could probably have used that name next week, when the Libyan Republic of Jihad makes ISIS look like JROTC.

Via AP:

After three years of chaos since Moammar Gadhafi's fall, Libya is further crumbling into a failed state after Islamist-allied militias took over the capital Tripoli and other cities and set up their own government, driving out a parliament that was elected over the summer.

The militia takeover last month has raised alarm in the West. Among the militias are Islamic extremists, including Ansar al-Shariah, which now rules the country's second largest city, Benghazi. The group is blamed for the killing of the U.S. ambassador and three other Americans in a 2012 attack on a U.S. diplomatic facility in the city. France's defense minister in an interview published Tuesday warned that Libya is a "hub for terrorists" and called for international action, even talking of moving French troops to the borders.

It's unclear just how much of the ongoing mess will be controlled by the worst Islamist elements; much of their support comes not from hardcore lunatics from secular or regional political factions who were simply wary of the elected government and foreign influence.

But Libyan extremists and weaponry have already been funneled to support ISIS, thanks in part to a historical jihadist affinity between Libya and the wider Mideast, as well as porous borders. Analysts fear that if civil war and lawlessness persist in Libya for long, many ISIS fighters could return to the country for a proper Sharia hoedown. And U.S. success in smashing ISIS strongholds in Iraq and Syria could accelerate the exodus.

Until then? "Libya has entered the condition of a failed state," a Libyan analyst—hunkered down in Tunisia—told the AP. "We are very similar to Lebanon in the 1980s or Somalia. We are at the doorstep of a civil war."

[Photo credit: AP Images]


Matthew McConaughey's Lincoln Ad Gets True Detective'd

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Matthew McConaughey's Lincoln Ad Gets True Detective'd

On last night's Conan, we got to see what Matthew McConaughey's already True Detective-y new Lincoln commercials would look like with a bit of True Detective dialogue in the mix. (The answer is: they would look like True Detective!)

Would car commercials sell more cars if they called for the willing self-destruction of the human race, though? Hmmm. I think so:

[image via TeamCoco]

Kelly Ripa's iPhone Segment Was Just One Long Dick Joke

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Apple's just-announced iPhone 6L is 5.5 inches long: enormous by smartphone standards, but not even adequate in the eyes of morning show size queen Kelly Ripa. You expect her to use that tiny thing? Really? You have no idea how huge her purse is.

Well, Kelly, 5.5 inches is actually bigger than average for a "phablet"—if you go much larger than that, you're talking about a full-on tablet. Because Apple already makes the iPad mini, it wouldn't make sense to—oh. I see what you did there. Penises.

[h/t Reddit]

The Ground Zero Mosque Was an Inside Job

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The Ground Zero Mosque Was an Inside Job

Second only to the sub rosa network of Tea Party fronts funded by Libertarian billionaires Charles and David Koch, the infamously tone deaf plans for an Islamic community center just blocks away from 9/11's Ground Zero came to define the midterm elections of 2010. This is the weird story of who funded that mess.

On the surface, the whole sad episode had the look simply of just a ditzy misunderstanding—the accidental sharp abutment of "limousine liberal" multiculturalism against the still raw national mood.

But, a quick glance at the Form 990s for the organizations involved in what came to be known as (eye roll) "the Ground Zero Mosque" shows that the entirety of its operating budget—more really—came from a fixture on the U.S. military and diplomatic scenes, R. Leslie Deak: a man who at that time was working as a business consultant for the private defense contractor Patriot Defense Group, LLC, alongside a former commander of the U.S. Special Operations Command, General Doug Brown, and James Pavitt, a former director of operations for the CIA. On a current Google+ profile—that you'd better believe I saved an HTML file of—Les Deak boasts of having once had a "DoD Secret Security Clearance."

Deak's father, Nicholas Deak, had career-long U.S. intelligence community ties also. Called "the James Bond of the world of money" by waiting room sedative Time magazine, Nicholas Deak followed his WWII-era role in the CIA's precursor, the Office of Strategic Services (OSS), running a daring, white-shoe currency and precious metals firm on Wall Street, Deak-Perera, used by the CIA to monitor global capital flows and to smuggle covert ops funding into, buh, countries of great national security interest to the United States. Nick Deak and his company hit their first wave of fatally negative publicity during the Church committee hearings of the mid-1970s, when it was discovered that Deak-Perera had been instrumental in smuggling money into Iran, Guatemala, and the Congo to finance the CIA's government coups there. By the mid-1980s, he was dead, murdered under very bizarre circumstances, and Deak-Perera was mired in a drug-related money laundering scandal that ultimately forced the firm into bankruptcy.

R. Leslie Deak worked for his dad at that time, from 1973 to 1985. He was President and CEO of Deak-Perera when he left the company.

Today, among other gigs, Les Deak is on the Board of Advisors of the Center for a New American Security, by far one of the most influential foreign policy think tanks in the country right now, with multiple employees holding down key positions in the Obama administration. One of my favorite Leslie Deak stories involves him threatening to sue a man on Facebook for posting a protest photo taken outside the center's D.C.-area headquarters.

The Ground Zero Mosque Was an Inside Job

Mark Ames, currently of Pando Daily, formerly the senior editor of NSFW Corp. (and a co-founder along with future Rolling Stone journalist Matt Taibbi of that Moscow-based expat rag The eXile), covered the Deak's Family Spooktacular quite ably for both the New York Observer and Salon years ago; He's still baffled by them.

"Weirdest fucking story I've ever worked on," Ames said via email, "that includes anything in weird-as-hell Russia."

The non-paranoid, un-fun explanation for how R. Leslie Deak came to be involved in the Great 9/11 Terror Mosque at Ground Zero would probably stem from the vast amount of business he does in Egypt, where he reportedly spends six months out of every year. He also converted to Islam when he married his current wife, Moshira Soliman. In that context, it makes some kind of sense that, as one of two people running the Deak Family Foundation, he gave $98,000 to the non-profit spearheading the mosque project, the Cordoba Initiative, from 2006-2008: a figure higher than Cordoba's operating budget or reported earnings in those years.

A Sufi Imam named Feisal Abdul Rauf started the Cordoba Initiative, along with his (third) wife Daisy Khan. They simultaneously ran a related nonprofit, the American Society for Muslim Advancement, to which the Deak Family Foundation also gave quite generously:

The Ground Zero Mosque Was an Inside Job

In addition to being an FBI consultant and a spokesperson for George W. Bush's longtime confidante Karen Hughes, Rauf was also incredibly intimate with the Deaks during the long stretch before the Ground Zero Mosque controversy. Thanks to some recent and embarrassing lawsuits between them all, alleging and counter-alleging a baroque series of financial fuckings over and real estate scams, we now know that Rauf was actually living with the Deaks for a time in 2010.

From the background details to their court case:

Over the course of five years, Cordoba's principal and president Imam Feisal Abdul Rauf developed a close friendship with Deak and Soliman, who are residents of the District of Columbia. Deak and Soliman attempted to raise funds for Cordoba, acted as advisors to Cordoba and Rauf, and hosted Rauf in their home for over three months in 2010.

If you are the kind of houseguest who feels inordinately neurotic about outstaying your welcome, you might be inclined to suspect that this situation gave R. Leslie Deak some kind of leverage during this period. An alternate scenario, a la the 1995 family comedy Houseguest starring Sinbad and Phil Hartman, would suggest that this period was one long graft by Imam Feisal Abdul Rauf punctuated by wacky hijinks that peaked with the national fiasco at Ground Zero.

The Ground Zero Mosque Was an Inside Job

Either way, during that same period in 2010, Rauf and Khan began floating the idea of building a cultural center in lower Manhattan that would promote cross-cultural exchange and a mutual understanding between Muslims and people of all faiths. The Burlington Coat Factory at 45-47 Park Place in the financial district had been more-or-less abandoned since September 11th, 2001, when parts of the landing-gear assembly and fuselage of United Airlines Flight 175 had crashed through its roof and top two floors. But, recognizing that the abandoned factory could be more than great coats, Rauf began conducting services their in the second half of 2009 and floating the idea of this Islamic community center to local political and religious leaders who, as the New York Times reported, were largely receptive.

Rauf told the Times that the location "sends the opposite statement to what happened on 9/11."

But over the next nine months, a great shrieking chorus of American patriots let it be known that they passionately disagreed. The story burbled and sputtered around conservative blogs for months, until—as a fascinating analysis and graph by the the Berkman Center for Internet and Society at Harvard makes clear—an admittedly irresistibly stupid tweet by Sarah Palin propelled the controversy into the mainstream (during the slow late-summer "Cucumber Season" of the news cycle):

The Ground Zero Mosque Was an Inside Job

A poll conducted by Rasmussen Reports that July said that 54 percent of Americans opposed construction of "a mosque near the 9/11 Ground Zero site" (20 percent were in favor, 26 percent were unsure).

"I will personally match the first $10,000 raised," baseball cap-owner Michael Moore was telling his readers by that September, in a blog post that quoted John Adams, Deepak Chopra, and Bertolt Brecht, in support of Rauf's project.

It was—without question—the most partisan non-Peta-related fight over a Burlington Coat Factory in world history.

But: Was it a manufactured controversy? Designed to generate jingoistic outrage, just in time to influence key midterm elections, swinging congress away from the Democrats and (potentially) frustrating efforts by the young, new Obama administration to draw down the War on Terror? Or was it simply a goofball mistake, made by some weird yahoos with a lot of money to throw at their bad ideas?

These are still unanswered questions four years later, but one thing that is known definitely, is that the planned Islamic cultural center at 45-47 Park Place was not a secret training center for al-Qaeda terrorists or an endzone dance to celebrate the 9/11 terror attacks.

It was funded by one of the most well-connected men working just slightly outside of the U.S. government. It was an inside job.

[top photo, a lightly manipulated version of a rendering for the proposed Park51 building via SOMA Architects, via NBC; tax records via the Investigative Project on Terrorism]

To contact the author, email matthew.phelan@gawker.com, pgp public key.

Project Runway Open Thread: Week 8

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Project Runway Open Thread: Week 8

Ready for another Project Runway sharing session? We can share our thoughts on tonight's episode — and also our worries, our hopes and our dreams. We can share whatever we want, because it's good to share! Also, I can share some of my experiences from the Project Runway finalists' show at Lincoln Center last Friday, because some fool actually let me into that event.

If you're interested, you can read about my sojourn at the show in this post, which contains an array of my slightly fuzzy pictures and slightly fuzzy memories from the event. Among the highlights: I spoke to some contestants, made off with a judge's seat card, and saw Heidi subject Tim Gunn to an on-stage spectacle of public humiliation. And of course, and I saw the collections — both real and "decoy." Who knows which were which? Not me! But I took some guesses anyway.

But an even more important event took place the night before: Our last open thread! Here are a few highlights from that one:

  • GoOnWithoutMe described Korina's victory as a "Korination" — a pun that is simultaneously terrible and brilliant. (In other words, the best kind of pun.)
  • Boricua in Texas nicknamed Kini "Bust Cups" (the objects that Kini spent half the episode worrying about), and also came up with a new hashtag: #shutupbustcups.
  • Many other witty observations — bust-cup-related and otherwise — were made by commenters, including the ones I collected here.

OK, time to share are a few observations about what's in store on tonight's episode:

  • The designers will create looks using waterproof materials, and then send their models down a water-sprinkled runway called "the rainway." This is an idea they actually stole from the late, great Alexander McQueen — except when McQueen did it, he bathed the falling water in yellow light and called the show "Golden Showers." (I'm not making this up.)
  • At some point tonight, Tim will call this "the season of the vagina." And it's about time! We've been waiting for this moment ever since Lifetime showed him saying that in a season-preview teaser at the end of Episode 1.
  • The guest judge will be Caitlin Fitzgerald, who stars in show about vaginas, among other things.

Let's get sharing! I'll see you in the comments!

​Man In Pokémon Gear Charges White House Lawn, Gets Shut Down

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​Man In Pokémon Gear Charges White House Lawn, Gets Shut Down

Now here's something you don't see every day.

According to multiple reporters who were on the scene, a man wearing a Pikachu hat and carrying a stuffed Pokémon jumped the White House fence today and ran across the lawn before being apprehended by Secret Service agents.

The White House was reportedly placed on temporary lockdown, presumably while the Secret Service made sure there weren't additional people wearing Snorlax or Bidoof outfits waiting as backup.

President Obama, meanwhile, wasn't even home—according to the AFP, he was out, attending a 9/11 memorial.

Update: Fox News has posted some footage of the tail-end of the arrest.

​Man In Pokémon Gear Charges White House Lawn, Gets Shut Down

Looks like they took away his hat. :-/

[Via HuffPo]

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