The international team of divers and archaeologists who are investigating the site of an ancient Greek ship that sank more than 2,000 years ago off the remote island of Antikythera have not been disappointed. Not only is the site bigger than they thought, it also contains a treasure trove of artifacts.

First, an explanation for that awesome image you see above. The ship, a luxury cargo vessel carrying Greek treasures from the coast of Asia Minor west to Rome, sank in bad water around 70 to 60 BC in some rather deep water. The ship is located at a depth unsafe for human divers — 55 meters (180 feet) — so the team at the Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution (WHOI) utilized a diving exosuit. It uses rebreather technology in which carbon dioxide is scrubbed from the exhaled air while oxygen is introduced and recirculated. This allowed the divers to explore the site for up to three hours at a time.

The Antikythera site is a treacherous one indeed. Back in 1900, when it was first discovered by sponge divers, the swimmers had to end their mission after one of the divers died of the bends and two were paralyzed. But not before they pulled up a spectacular haul of treasures, including bronze and marble statues, jewellery, furniture, luxury glassware, and the surprisingly complex Antikythera Mechanism.

The latest expedition, called the Return to Antikythera, is an effort to revisit the site to see what else it might hold. And wow, is there a lot of stuff down there.

Chief diver Philip Short inspects the bronze spear recovered from the Antikythera Shipwreck. (Brett Seymour, Copyright: Return to Antikythera 2014)

Greek technical diver Alexandros Sotiriou discovers an intact "lagynos" ceramic table jug and a bronze rigging ring on the Antikythera Shipwreck. (Brett Seymour, Copyright: Return to Antikythera 2014)

From the WHOI report:

Components of the ship, including multiple lead anchors over a metre long and a bronze rigging ring with fragments of wood still attached, prove that much of the ship survives. The finds are also scattered over a much larger area than the sponge divers realized, covering 300 meters of the seafloor. This together with the huge size of the anchors and recovered hull planks proves that the Antikythera ship was much larger than previously thought, perhaps up to 50 meters long.

"The evidence shows this is the largest ancient shipwreck ever discovered," says Foley. "It's the Titanic of the ancient world."

The archaeologists also recovered a beautiful intact table jug, part of an ornate bed leg, and most impressive of all, a 2-meter-long bronze spear buried just beneath the surface of the sand. Too large and heavy to have been used as a weapon, it must have belonged to a giant statue, perhaps a warrior or the goddess Athena, says Foley. In 1901, four giant marble horses were discovered on the wreck by the sponge divers, so these could have formed part of a complex of statues involving a warrior in a chariot that was pulled by the four horses.

Fascinatingly, it appears that much of the ship's cargo is still preserved beneath the sediment. The archaeologists plan to return next year to excavate the site further and recover more of the ship's cargo.

[ WHOI ]

Despite being an Obama delegate in 2012, Kentucky Democratic Senate candidate Alison Grimes has repeatedly refused to answer the question of whether she voted for Barack Obama. Her bravery and forthrightness should fit right in in Washington.

Life is an electrocardiogram in which indignities and downtime are rendered as valleys and peaks, respectively. These are the locations and conditions in which celebs found themselves this week:

Taylor Swift in London. [WENN.com]

Nicole Richie in Los Angeles. [WENN.com]

Angelina Jolie in open-toed shoes in Buckingham Palace. [Getty]

Ted in repose. [WENN.com]

Benedict Cumberbatch and Keira Knightley in rain. [Getty]

Rupert Grint in front of Marriott, sad. [WENN.com]

Flop-tongue dog in bosom of Karlie Kloss. [Getty]

Ariana Grande in consensual lesbian relationship. [WENN.com]

Seal in cloak of children. [WENN.com]

Princess Leonor of Asturias in wax. [Getty]

Aflac duck in distress. [WENN.com]

Harry Styles in world where ground is made of pumpkins. [WENN.com]

Christina Hendricks in hat. [Getty]

Thank you.

Tech bros will stop at nothing to get what they perceive to be theirs. In the latest example of unchecked hubris, we witness as a squad of adults in Dropbox jerseys argue with and cuss at children over a San Francisco soccer field.

The argument started over a Mission District field, which Mission Local says has been popular with "mainly Spanish-speaking soccer players" for decades. The location has traditionally been used for pick-up games. But Dropbox-uniformed players that rented the field through a controversial new city process insisted it was their turn to play.

A city-sanctioned app that has been used to book city fields is supposed to be an "experiment," according to Mission Local:

"SF Pickup Soccer is an organizer which has contracted with us to utilize the site on Tuesdays from 7 to 9 p.m. to encourage the community to get involved and play soccer," says Connie Chan, deputy policy director for the parks department. SF Pickup Soccer uses a mobile app to let users sign up in advance to play soccer on available fields. "It is an experiment with new mobile app technology," says Chan.

Of course, the kids already playing on the field weren't psyched about a group of presumably well-paid men taking the space away from them. When a 20-year-old intervened on behalf of the kids, the adults became petulant. As transcribed by Uptown Almanac:

Guy Already Playing on Field: You don't understand— this field has never been booked. How long have you been in the neighborhood?

Bro: Over a year!

GAPOF: Oh, over a year?

Off Camera Guy in Dropbox Tee-Shirt: Who gives a shit? Who cares about the neighborhood?

You couldn't cast a more symbolic display of tech-fueled gentrification in San Francisco.

Update 8:40pm: The owner of SF Pickup Soccer—maker of the field-renting app—emailed Valleywag saying his company stopped renting out the field over previous controversies:

SF Pickup Soccer has no part in that video. That is just a group of guys renting the field. SF Pickup Soccer used to run games there and ran into a similar issue. I agreed with [the existing community] and we stopped playing there. The park needs to stop permitting that field as there is no need for it. There are plenty of fields to permit in San Francisco.

This post has been updated to reflect that the SF Pickup Soccer app was not used to rent the field at Mission Playground. To contact the author of this post, please email kevin@valleywag.com.

Disclosure: the author of this post is the former editor and current publisher of Uptown Almanac, which originally broke the story.

The national data on police shootings is shamefully spotty—that's why our colleagues at Deadspin are putting this together—but using the numbers that are available, ProPublica put together a detailed demographic analysis of the victims. The conclusions are both horrible and totally unsurprising.

According to ProPublica's data, in the 1,217 fatal police shootings that were reported to the FBI between 2010 and 2012—reporting is optional; that's why the numbers are so incomplete—black people aged 15 to 19 were killed at a rate of 31.17 per million, compared to 1.47 per million for their white counterparts. That's 21 times more often.

But the data is incomplete, you might argue, so there's no way to tell how accurate that analysis is. And you'd be right. However, David Klinger, a University of Missouri-St. Louis professor interviewed by ProPublica, said he doubts that "measurement error would account for" the enormous disparity.

There are other striking statistics: of the 15 reported people who were killed by officers while fleeing arrest in that two year period, for instance, 14 were black. See the full study here.

[h/t Daily Intel, image via AP]

During his relatively short time on the national stage, Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker has proven himself one of the Republican party's most prolific fundraisers and has some wonks speculating about a 2016 Presidential run. But perhaps his most impressive achievement is the extensive scope of the damage he has done to the state of Wisconsin in under four years.

Since being sworn into office in 2011, Walker has singlehandedly dismantled Wisconsin's century-old reputation as a state with some of the most progressive labor laws in the country. While his highly publicized attacks on unions will likely be the defining moment of his first term as governor, Walker — who is running for reelection this November — has also been consistently at work at something far more sinister: a blatant attack on Wisconsin's women, non-white and poor people.

Problems with Governor Walker started less than two months after he was sworn into office with the signing of the "Budget Repair Bill," a piece of legislation that stripped most public employees' unions of all collective bargaining rights in order to close Wisconsin's $137 million budget gap (a pointless exercise as unions didn't cause the deficit and cutting their collective bargaining rights didn't save the state money). Conveniently, around the same time, he also introduced a series of tax breaks for the state's rich.

Wisconsin's labor force was angry and, as such, took to the streets in the tens of thousands. It was the dead of Wisconsin winter and, for weeks, dozens of people slept outdoors on the steps of the state capitol building to show their displeasure. The protests led to a recall election that was ultimately unsuccessful. The demonstrators and their supporters had the passion, but Walker was funded by the Republican elite. It was David versus Goliath — if Goliath had been backed by Koch brothers' money. He was basically impossible to beat.

Wisconsin's labor force was momentarily defeated, but determined to keep going and fight back, even as Walker chipped away more and more at their rights. In a recent move, Wisconsin Jobs Now and Wisconsin Working Families gathered 100 low-wage workers to submit complaints to Scott Walker's office, invoking a little known law — Wisc. Stats. 104, a.k.a the "Minimum Wage Law"— that gives the governor 20 days to determine whether or not the state's minimum wage is also a living wage.

These workers weren't presenting their case simply to be a thorn in Walker's side. Wisconsin's minimum wage is $7.25 per hour. This, for the full-time worker, amounts to a minuscule $15,080 per year salary. According to the Living Wage Calculator, a Wisconsin worker with no dependents would need to make at least $18,455 per year to be able to pay for basic necessities like food, housing and transportation. The current minimum wage falls short by $3,375.

As is so often the case, the living wage issue is one that disproportionately effects women and people of color. According to the U.S. Census Bureau and COWS, women make up 50.3% of Wisconsin's population and 57% of the workers living on minimum wage. The state, though predominantly white, is 6.5% black and 6.3% Latino, yet those ethnic groups make up 8.9% and 9.2% of workers who survive under the living wage line.

How else does the current minimum wage completely fuck over women and non-white people? First, women are more likely than men to be the primary caregiver to a child, which makes living on $15,080 per year salary even more removed from realistic possibility. The gap between what a minimum wage-earning single mothers would need to earn to survive comfortably and what she actually earns is $44,209. For single mothers of two, the wage gap is closer to $57,967. Furthermore, people of color are more likely to live in Wisconsin's urban centers like Milwaukee and Madison and, according to the official complaint submitted by Peter Rickman (of Wisconsin Jobs Now) to Scott Walker's office on behalf of the 100 low-wage workers, living on minimum wage in Dane or Milwaukee county comes with extra challenges:

"In Milwaukee County, a single adult worker employed full-time would need to earn an hourly wage of $9.48 to achieve an annual income of $19,717 that meets the subsistence budget."

Under the Minimum Wage Law (which was originally enacted in 1913 to protect women and minors from being exploited by employers), the 100 workers had a strong case — assuming, of course, that Walker would take the time to look at it and listen to stories like the one told by Britany Ferguson, a mother of two who works as a housekeeper at a Marriott Hotel for $9 per hour and can barely afford to feed her children:

But Walker didn't listen to her story or any of the other 99 that were submitted. In fact, his office dismissed the complaint without interviewing a single one of the 100 workers who helped draft it. How he determined that $7.25 constitutes a living wage remains a mystery and the only answer these workers received was a brief two paragraph letter addressed to Rickman.

"The Department of Workforce Development, Equal Rights Division, has reviewed your complaint and the exhibits attached, and has considered the factors enumerated in Section 104.o4, Wisc. Stats.," wrote Robert Rodriguez of the Equal Rights Division. "The department has determined that there is no reasonable cause to believe that the wages paid to the complainants are not a living wage."

In other words, $7.25 is a living wage simply because Walker's office says so.

On November 4, Wisconsin voters will — for the third time — decide whether or not they want Scott Walker as governor. According to projections, he may very well beat Democrat Mary Burke and further his agenda to turn the previously left-leaning Wisconsin into one of the most conservative states in the nation.

It's a scary thought. Walker has already signed a (legally contended) bill that requires abortion providers to gain admitting rights to a hospital within 30 miles of their clinic (a real fuck you to the women of rural Wisconsin) and for women seeking abortions to obtain an ultrasound prior to the procedure. He is vehemently, frighteningly anti-abortion, having once told the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel that he would ban abortion entirely, even in cases of incest and rape. Not that you'd know his extremist views from his 2014 campaign:

"I'm pro-life," Walker begins in an ad explaining his anti-abortion bill. "But there's no doubt in my mind that the decision whether or not to end a pregnancy is an agonizing one. That's why I support legislation to increase safety and to provide more information for a woman considering her options. The bill leaves the final decision to a woman and her doctor."

Walker's pandering words are a blatant misrepresentation of his true views. While the bill he's discussing doesn't flat-out ban abortion, it is a step in that direction. His actions have made it clear that if it were entirely up to him, every woman would be forced to carry an unwanted pregnancy to full-term. And worse still, as mother Britany Ferguson proves, he will do nothing to help a woman care for her child once it's born. (By the way, it was also under Walker that over 200,000 women, children and families were cut from Wisconsin's health-care reimbursement program.)

If it were up to Scott Walker, the upcoming election would not be a fair one. Wisconsin's Republican party has been working hard to institute a voter-ID law that would ensure that hundreds of thousands of Wisconsin residents would not be able to vote at the polls this November. It's also worth noting that voter-ID laws also happen to disproportionately effect people of color (most of whom vote Democrat), not that — when it comes to Walker — this should surprise us. Thankfully, the Supreme Court, as of Thursday, has blocked the voter-ID law from going into effect in time for this election.

Regardless of the SCOTUS' decision, Walker and his cronies have proven time and time again that they are not afraid to play dirty and will not hesitate to step on the disenfranchised if it helps them carry out their right-wing agenda. In four short years, they have committed countless assaults on women's, workers' and civil rights. Who knows what they'll do — and who they'll hurt — with four more.

Image via Getty.

Dean is inconsolable because he's only 6, and he'll only be 7, which makes it—hold on, doing some quick math here—approximately 800 billion weeks before he can finally get married. That's forever! That's at least a thousand million days!

Don't try to tell him marriage isn't that fun. You're just saying that because you won't let him do it until he's 80. Eighty! That's so far away, dad. That's a million, thousand, hundred...

Wait, eighteen? Okay, we're cool.

[h/t What's Trending]

To his supporters, Vladimir Putin is Hercules, he is Atlas, riding shirtless on his noble steed or soaring over the Arctic with a flock of Siberian cranes. Fitting, then, that at a birthday art show for the Russian president in Moscow this week, the paintings looked like this:

Putin himself, who just turned 62, was not able to attend the opening of The 12 Labors of Putin on Tuesday—he was celebrating "in the Siberian wilderness," the Agence France-Presse reports:

Kremlin spokesman Dmitry Peskov said Putin had taken a day off from his "extremely intense" agenda to celebrate his birthday in the depths of Siberia.

"This place is some 300 to 400 kilometres away from the nearest settlement," Peskov told the Komsomolskaya Pravda tabloid, saying the president worked virtually around the clock and needed a breather.

"He will rest," he said, declining to say whether Putin would have company in Siberia.

[Screenshots via YouTube]

In 2012, Faye Grant, the second wife of 7th Heaven star Stephen Collins, sent an email to a woman who had been allegedly molested by Collins when she was a child. In that email, a copy of which has been obtained by Gawker, Grant identifies their then-12-year-old babysitter as another victim of abuse.

The email, sent to us by a tipster familiar with the NYPD investigation into Collins' sexual abuse accusations, appears to be the same email cited by TMZ and the New York Daily News in their coverage of the scandal.

Also in the email, Grant writes Collins entered therapy and sexaholics anonymous, and claims that he has been diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. It also states Collins molested the email's recipient and two others. "I knew Stephen was a narcissist, of course," Grant writes. "I did not know he was a pedophile."

From the email:

Stephen is not remorseful, shows no guilt, and his shame is demonstrated as extreme self pity. He wails and cries "i'm in so much paaaaaaain!!!" I do not think he has allowed himself, or perhaps he is not capable of experiencing the pain he has cause children.

The New York Daily News, citing a source within the Collins' extended family, has identified the woman who received Grant's letter as a relative of Collins' first wife, Marjorie Weinman:

The woman who received Grant's email is a relative of Collins' first wife Marjorie Weinman, the source said.

The woman claims Collins once tried to put her hand on his penis when she was 14 years old and visiting Weinman in the couple's Greenwich Village apartment, sources said.

She sent an anonymous letter to Grant in 2000 and contacted police in Los Angeles and New York in 2012, the source close to the investigation said.

Grant writes in the email that she has lived "every day with agonizing guilt" since learning of her husband's abuse and that she "should have done so many thing that I did not do." She goes on to say:

I have learned much about sociopaths the past 6 months. Stephen's every action comes from two motivations: One: to follow his prey. Two: To cover his tracks. Nothing else exists for him. Very sad.

[Image via AP]

Occasionally, against all odds, you'll see an interesting or even enjoyable picture on the Internet. But is it worth sharing, or just another Photoshop job that belongs in the digital trash heap? Check in here and find out if that viral photo deserves an enthusiastic "forward" or a pitiless "delete."

Image via Imgur

DELETE

Check out stunning images of the lunar eclipse shared on Twitter, like this one from the ISS! http://t.co/3rWT76Z8Oh pic.twitter.com/lJwFqeMvxu

— SiliconRepublic (@siliconrepublic) October 10, 2014

There were plenty of great real pictures from Wednesday's total lunar eclipse, but it was the above (totally fake) photo that went viral this week, supposed taken from aboard the International Space Station.

But even if we ignore that the image clearly depicts a solar eclipse and not the Earth Moon Shadow earthlings saw Wednesday morning, there's still the minor issue that the picture isn't a photo at all, but a photorealistic 3D render.

The original artist, Japan's A4size-ska, is apparently none too happy about the repeated misappropriation of his piece, saying, "I can't say what I have in mind since I'm not good at English."

DELETE

For years, these pages advertising "Squatting on prick" and "One fuck, 10 minutes soak" for pocket change prices have been kicking around the Internet, originally as a "New Orleans brothel menu from 1912" before showing up again this week as a list "curated by [a] famed London madam."

Of course, they're neither, or so think Dr. Julia Laite and Alecia P. Long, the authors of academic texts about prostitution in early 20th century London and New Orleans, respectively. Both scholars were reluctant to make a definitive assessment based on an unsourced scanned image, but they agreed that it didn't appear legitimate.

"Pretty sure it's fake," Dr. Laite told Gawker. "Edwardians were far more eloquent with their euphemisms than this." Dr. Laite failed to elaborate, however, on what words could top the poignancy of "Blowing in the ass hole, new style."

Image via Imgur

FORWARD

When this photo showed up on Reddit last Friday, some doubted its authenticity, with the thread's top comment reading, "It's so absurdly large that it almost looks photoshopped."

Giant oceanic manta rays like the one pictured, however, are known to grow as large as 30 feet wide. Additionally, multiple sources and alternate photos support the stated account of this ray's capture by New Jersey's Captain A.L. Kahn in 1933.

Eventually, Kahn put his catch on display, charging a simpler generation of gawkers 15 cents to check out his big fish.

Image via Imgur

FORWARD

Another retro photo that's so perfect it looks bogus, this 1961 picture by F. Roy Kemp is absolutely real, with the documentation to prove it.

Here's the photo's original caption, as recorded by Getty Images:

11th May 1961: Salesman Mike Dreschler has his motorised roller skates refuelled at a petrol station near Hartford, Connecticut. He has a single horsepower air-cooled engine strapped to his back and holds a clutch, accelerator and engine cut-off switch in his hand.

Image via F. Roy Kemp/BIPs/Getty Images

DELETE

Like last week's Ebola Zombie and last month's zombie Tupac, we really, really shouldn't have to explain why this picture is false. Yet tens of thousands of people shared this photo on social media this week, very few of whom appeared aware of its utter impossibility.

For the record, Halloween as celebrated in America can't fall on October 13th any more than Christmas can come on the 3rd of June. Update your idiot Facebook friends' calendars accordingly.

Image via Imgur

At some point, the world's pot smokers lost touch with life's simpler pleasures: a nicely rolled spliff, or a toke from a bowl, or a one-hitter disguised as a cigarette. The impulse toward ever-more complex smoking implements has surely reached its apex with this, the "Mask of Moldauthein."

Cool name. But what is it? Allow this insane trailer to illustrate:

The device, crafted by glassblower Etai Rahmil, is specifically made for smoking dabs, ANIMAL New York reports. It costs $6500, and if the, uh, Mask of Moldauthein isn't to your liking, there are other, equally ridiculous versions, too. Like this one.

Deadspin Here's What I Learned Watching FIFA's Incredible Propaganda Movie | Gizmodo What Is Gamergate, and Why? An Explainer for Non-Geeks | Jalopnik Holy Crap, NASA Is Considering Improvements To Orion That We Proposed | Kotaku Lindsay Lohan's Grand Theft Auto V Lawsuit Is Getting Intense | Kinja Popular Posts

This weekend there are chills, monsters from high school and real life, and even some scary woods! What's your greatest fear, because it is probably represented at some point during this very spooky weekend's spooky offerings. To celebrate, I've topped the list with my favorite monster-related music video, which to me feels very Hallowe'en.

FRIDAY

As of early this morning Chelsea Handler's first Netflix special is available. She's polarizing and off-putting but I think she's a phenomenal writer and I enjoy her books very much, so I'm looking forward to it. That was around midnight that came out. Then at 12:15/11:15c., you had Tim & Eric's Bedtime Stories on Adult Swim, and then it was over to Comedy Central for Adam Devine's House Party at 12:30 AM. I don't understand why that show isn't huge, he has great taste in comedians, and also is himself perfect. Perfect human being, walkin' around right here on Earth, and you're gonna stick that shit in the middle of the night like it's no big deal? Like that shouldn't be celebrated? Typical.

At 7/6c., which is not a timeslot, Haven moves to its new Syfy timeslot, so, nice knowin' ya, gorgeous folks of the show Haven. FYI also has a new show called Sweet Retreats, with a double episode focusing on first Nashville and then Austin, which are two places I would agree are pretty sweet. Shoes on your feet and jiggle that meat, let's meet up for a sweet retreat! (Free theme song.)

At 8/7c., an excellently titled ("Get Your Sheep Together") Shetlands episode of Amazing Race is happening. On Girl Meets World this week, "Girl Meets the Forgotten," which is like the tenth one in a row that sounds like Girl is just constantly Meeting death and/or the soon-to-die. TNT's On the Menu goes to Denny's, so somebody can realize their lifelong dream of having a recipe on the Denny's Menu. Everybody got their something. It's also week five in Utopia, and there's a 90-minute Showtime special promoting a new documentary about that hot young band of studs that all the teens are into these days, Genesis.

Finally, and this is a weird one, ABC is using Last Man Standing as the lead-in for their new sitcom Cristela. Now on the one hand, Tim Allen is the worst and even just the title is three different dog-whistles on a sub-Palin subtleness frequency; and Cristela is a twofer of diversity for the network that invented diversity, and I'm so happy it exists even if I won't enjoy it. But on the other hand, from the ads it seems like Cristela is more like a Tim Allen type of show anyway. So maybe they are being canny on a level above normal, where like, the demo for either show could be completely different from what you'd think.

At 9/8c. a girl will say it's over on America's Next Top Model's episode "The Girl Who Says It's Over," while Say Yes To The Dress premieres its twelfth season with a full hour and there's a new Shark Tank, and Kendra on Top takes to its new timeslot on WE. Over on Chiller, the netlet that could, an original MOW called Animal from executive producers Drew Barrymore and Nancy Juvonen at Flower Films is starring a bizarre number of bankable hotties from every part of the industry: Keke Palmer, Jeremy Sumpter, Elizabeth Gillies, Joey Lauren Adams, Amaury Nolasco, Parker Young, Paul Iacono, Thorsten Kaye and even Eve of the Ruff Riders!

Sometimes it's so weird how you can be in a movie and then that movie isn't a movie anymore. It comes free with a 32-ounce Slurpee, or in an inscrutable valu-pak with like Sophie's Choice and Madagascar 2. Anyway, I will probably watch it because I like those people so much I can't imagine it wouldn't be at least a fun thing to see. I have learned from having a horror-movie superfan for a BFF that tons of really good movies, you would never hear about them because of the sort of monolithic way the industry works, so I no longer look askance at on-demand or whatever releases. We're in the birthing pains of things, it's still quite early. One animal's take.

At 10/9c. it's Blue Bloods, The Knick ("The Golden Lotus"), Young Hot & Crooked, and a new Z Nation on Syfy, while TLC introduces a third season of Something Borrowed, Something New with an episode called "Something Kelly!" which I think is just darling. I want to see this Kelly person jump out of a giant wedding cake, BLAM, or run at us through a wall or a cake or a wall of cake, like Kool-Aid Man.

SATURDAY

At 8/7c. Reelz's funtime show Autopsy reveals "The Last Hours of Brittany Murphy," if that's the kind of person you want to be. There's also the fifth season premiere of My Cat From Hell on Animal Planet, and a Lifetime movie called A Warden's Ransom, which—yeah, and on your first guess!—is totally bonks. Casey Novak (Diane Neal) from SVU is a prison warden who is pulled into a dangerous game with a serial killer played by Devon Sawa after he tells the media he's offering fifty mil for whoever busts him out, and it escalates until people are like, kidnapping her kids as leverage. That sounds amazing to me! And highly relatable because who hasn't been in that circumstance at least once.

At 9/8c. Ed Sheeran's on Austin City Limits, there's a "Mummy on the Orient Express" on Doctor Who, Iyanla is called upon to Fix My "Dependent Sister," and Hallmark has a puntastic MOW called Recipe for Love starring ubiquitous cutie-pie Danielle Panabaker and some dude from the Resident Evil movies and is about: Cooks who love.

At 10/9c., Intruders ends and Mira Sorvino goes back into cold storage, Vanilla Ice returns for a second goddamn season of Vanilla Ice Goes Amish on DIY, and then at the usual time, Bill Hader takes Saturday Night Live to church with slow-burn musical guests Hozier. You know what I hope is that he does just 90 minutes of Stefon. That would be so fresh and frisky and remind me of my nostalgia for the days of Stefon and his one awesome joke. Seth can come back and pretend they're fucking... but only if he's on top! Hilarious. (Exceedingly likely, though, also.)

SUNDAY

Starting at 8/7c. in the AM Disney XD has an hour of Marvel's Hulk & The Agents Of S.M.A.S.H., for which I have a strange affection, and then an episode of Marvel's Avengers Assemble called "Valhalla Can Wait," which is too cute.

At 11/10c. OWN has the second half of a special about Elizabeth Gilbert—where she's vacationing, what she's eating and loving these days probably, her favorite TED Talks—which I say in fun because honestly I love that lady. I don't get why everybody gets off on bitching about her so much. Then so at noon, it is sadly the finale of Real Housewives of Melbourne.

At 8/7c., which is when actual TV happens, you've got MadamSecretary, Once Upon a Time, the third Paradise on PBS, and a new Real Housewives of New Jersey. The Fox comedy block also starts here—no more Bob's Burgers for the rest of the month, so like why did they even bother—with The Simpsons ("Super Franchise Me"), Brooklyn Nine-Nine ("The Jimmy Jab Games"), and, sigh, Mulaney ("The Doula").

At 9/8c. there's a network I have never heard of called HMC (Hallmark Movie & Mystery Channel) that has a MOW called Along Came a Nanny, which already makes no sense, of course, but then also it stars creepy Cameron Mathison from All My Children and—this is the yucky part—Sarah Lancaster from Chuck, who was like the absolute best thing about Chuck. Along came a job, I guess, and I hate that condescending thing of "why can't that actress only pay her rent with the finest and most elegant denominations of dollar bills, poor pathetic thing" but it can still be tough because of what it implies about the weeks/months before this person (about whom you feel such strong warmth) agreed to take this job. All work is forced smiles, even glamorous work.

Anyway Anthony Bourdain's still doing it up on CNN, Boardwalk Empire toddles on down the road, Homeland continues to be the best or worst TV show on TV depending on if you are right or wrong about it, and The Good Wife starts looking into politics actively (and finally). Walking Dead premieres tonight on AMC, before the aftershow with that awful little man and then the comic-book show with the many awful men; Long Island Medium ends its tour with DC, Food Network's Halloween Wars warns, "Don't Go Into the Forest!" and Oprah wonders Where Are They Now? about Janine Turner, Vivica Fox, and professional tale of woe Jimmy McNichol.

At 10/9c. you've got one of the season's absolute best premieres, The Affair on Showtime, about which again I will say: You have to watch the whole thing, because the first half seems to suck unless you watch the second half, and then I think you'll become a believer. New Revenge, new CSI, the penultimate Manhattan, the one-hour finale of TLC's hottest new show about things among us, Angels Among Us, Paula Zahn gets On the Case of yet another total bummer that's not even that interesting, and tonight's Cutthroat Kitchen on Food Network is titled, happily, "Here's Looking at You, Squid." (At 10:30 PBS is doing a Great Estates special on Dumfries House, which is maybe only exciting for me, who knows, but it's happening.) Then at 11 you've got New Jersey Housepeople the Marcheses, ol' Lady the Cancer and Jim the Bitch, on WWH:L, followed by Mr. Pickles and Squidbillies on Adult Swim.

Morning After is a new home for television discussion online, brought to you by Gawker. What are you watching tonight? What are we missing out on? Recommendations and discussions down below.

Seven students at New Jersey's Sayreville War Memorial High School have been charged with sex crimes in an investigation into the high school football team's hazing.

The investigation reportedly found that students held the victims against their will and inappropriately touched them—allegedly shoving fingers into their rectums. One student also claims he was kicked.

According to the AP, six of the seven students charged, who range in age from 15 to 17, were arrested on Friday night. Authorities are seeking out the seventh. Middlesex County prosecutor Andrew C. Carey said three of them were charged with aggravated sexual assault, criminal restraint, and hazing, among other crimes. The remaining four were charged with aggravated criminal sexual contact.

The AP reports a Family Court decision will determine whether the teens in custody will be held in a juvenile detention facility, or whether they will be released to their families.

[image via AP]

After a week of erratic, troubling behavior, Amanda Bynes has reportedly been placed on an involuntary psychiatric hold at a California hospital. According to People, the actress was admitted for treatment shortly after landing at LAX Friday afternoon.

TMZ reports that Bynes believed she was being taken to meet with her parents and their lawyer before arriving at the Pasadena hospital and being surrounded by staff.

Also according to TMZ, Bynes is being held there under a so-called "5150 hold," named after the section of California's legal code that allows for the involuntary commitment of a person who is "a danger to others, or to himself or herself, or gravely disabled" due to mental illness.

A 5150 hold lasts for 72 hours, after which doctors can extend the commitment by an additional 14 days.

The actress made headlines this week after a series of strange statements and actions, starting with an "unbalanced" InTouch interview in which she accused people of reading her mind via a microchip in her brain. On Friday, Bynes blamed the microchip for claims (she later recanted) about her father's physical and sexual abuse, adding "but he's the one that ordered them to microchip me."

[Image via Getty Images]

(For Mike Brown, Lennon Lacy, Eric Garner, Renisha McBride, and so on, and so on ...)

they kilt that boy

lynched him

just as sho' as my name is what it is

they did it cause that's what they do in

kokomo Mississippi

kill folk

the same way they did

emmit till

in money mississippi

the same way they did

vernon dahamer

in hattiesburg mississippi

the same way they did

medgar evers

in jackson mississippi

the same damn way they did

schwerner, goodman and chaney in

philadelphia mississippi

the same way they did

mack charles parker

in poplarville mississippi

the same way they killed

andre jones

in a simpson county jail cell

hung him

like he was a skint pig

left to rot

under the watchful eye

of an old pale-faced devil's

moon

down in mississippi

where

raynard ladell johnson

found death's cold hands

draped in swaddling

white sheets

wrapped around his teenage throat

choking the life from his virile black

body

as it swayed

in front of a flushed face

of a history so ugly

only a short ignorant-limp-dick

pot-bellied-beer-guzzling-

rebel-flag-waving-trailer-trash-talking redneck

could love it

mississippi is my home and

my home is a place

whose whiteness torments me

like an electric ghost in

the industrial machine of

dixiecratic politics

I know mississippi well

'cause

I love

and

I hate

mississippi so

much that every now & again

it hurts

it hurts

it hurts

yet we continue to march and sing and pray

for a land soaked in our innocent blood

when war cries

and battle hymns are needed

for this is a new song

for a new day

and a new time

our piece will not be said

in hushed apologetic tones

of slobbering uncle toms seeking reconciliation

naw

this time we want justice

if not

then

we'll settle for revenge

Charlie R. Braxton is a poet, playwright and essayists from McComb Mississippi. He is the author of two volumes of verse, Ascension from the Ashes (Blackwood Press 1991) and Cinders Rekindled (Jawara Press 2013). His poetry has been published in various literary publications such as African American Review, The Minnesota Review, Drumvoices Review, Sepia Poetry Review, Cut Bank, Specter Magazine, and The San Fernando Poetry Journal.

[Image by Tara Jacoby]

New York City's John F. Kennedy International Airport is the first in the U.S. to start screening passengers for Ebola symptoms. The AP reports starting today, travelers coming from three West African countries will have their temperatures checked as part of an enhanced Ebola screening program.

In a briefing about the program this morning at J.F.K, the AP reports officials said travelers arriving from Liberia, Sierra Leone, and Guinea will have their temperatures taken with no-touch thermometers. The screening is reportedly "part of a multi-layered approach," and will expand to four more airports in the coming week: New Jersey's Newark Liberty, Virginia's Washington Dulles, Chicago's O'Hare, and Atlanta's Hartsfield-Jackson.

Because those infected with Ebola can take up to 21 days to show symptoms, the New York Times reports the program's effectiveness may be limited:

Over the last two months, 36,000 people have been screened in Africa and only 77 were kept off flights because of illness. While many of the 77 had malaria none were infected with Ebola.

According to the New York Times, airports in Canada and Europe plan to adopt similar screening programs this week.

[image via AP]

In any other of the 49 states, a football fan might express his admiration for the game with a bumper sticker, a custom jersey or—at the very most—a festively painted beer belly. But in Florida, the home of nude beach blow job jet ski fights, nothing less than a psycho full head tattoo will do, like the one seen here on St. Petersburg's Victor Thompson.

Thompson, who's previously spoken with Deadspin about his permanent Tom Brady tribute, was arrested last month for alleged possession of Spice, the synthetic marijuana favored by teenagers and hungry dog murderers. In an arrest report obtained by The Smoking Gun, police made note of this most distinguished of distinguishing features, describing it as "Tattoo Head-Patriots Football Helmet."

It took four different booking photos to fully document Thompson's impressively accurate tattoo. The Smoking Gun notes it even includes "the small green dot indicating that a helmet is equipped with an electronic device allowing its wearer to receive plays from the sideline."

Of course, as Thompson's choice of headgear suggests, the New Hampshire native isn't originally from Florida, but (as is the case with many of the state's crazy-eyed colonists) was drawn there like a bat-shit moth to a bonkers flame.

[Image via Pinellas County Sheriffs Dept.]

In a story perfect to tell with a "spooky" voice when things get quiet at your next social gathering, a grieving Alaskan couple about to inform their son's girlfriend of his death was shocked this week when their "dead" son answered the door. Ahh!

The AP reports Karen and Jay Priest were awoken at 3 a.m. and told by an Alaska State Trooper that their son, 29-year-old Justin Priest, an Anchorage resident, was killed in a car accident in Juneau. The Priests then drove to Anchorage to tell their other son, Cody, who Karen says collapsed when he heard the news.

Together, the family drove to tell Justin's long-time girlfriend Julia. According to Karen's report to the AP, Jay knocked on the door:

"It opens and right here is Justin. I don't even see it but Jay is sobbing. It doesn't compute to me. Then I see him. You want it to be true, but you go, 'Am I hallucinating?' Justin didn't know what was going on."

Justin says he was mostly asleep, it being 5:30 a.m., and confused about all the yelling, saying, "They were yelling, 'Praise Jesus! It's a miracle!'"

After "lots of hugging, lots of tears," Justin got in touch with Juneau police who, the AP reports, have apologized—they were looking for a different Justin Priest, as it turns out. Police are reportedly now reviewing their records to find out what caused this intensely awful error.

(Practice that part in your spooky voice. "The police apologized and are reviewing their recooorrds.")

[image via AP]

On Oct. 2, three unidentified men attacked and killed 47-year-old Aniya Parker in East Hollywood, shooting her once in the head at point-blank range. Now authorities are offering a $50,000 reward for information on the transgender woman's murder, the L.A. Times reports.

L.A. officials announced the award yesterday at a news conference designed to generate leads on the unsolved killing, promising the money for information leading to an arrest.

Police have so far dismissed any prejudicial motive for the crime and believe it to be a botched robbery, but LBGT advocates aren't convinced. "This was not a robbery, in fact, they left the purse behind," Mary Zeiser of Hollywood told ABC7. "This is a cold-blooded hate crime and this type of violence needs to end."

Surveillance footage released by police shows Parker and three men struggling over a purse before she breaks away and is shot by one of her assailants. Later found at the scene of the crime, the purse contained just $24.

"We just want to know why," Parker's sister Adrian told reporters at Friday's announcement. "We didn't get a chance to say goodbye."

[Image via GoFundMe]