If you love epic space opera, you shouldn't miss Interstellar. But before you go, you need to be prepared to overlook its major flaws.

Interstellar is a thematic sequel to Christopher Nolan's last original film, Inception. It drops us into a dark future full of otherworldly landscapes and time distortions. Its spectacular action is propelled forward by tragic family secrets. The difference is that Interstellar tries to tell the story of humanity, and that's where it stumbles.

Space Opera Rightly Understood

It probably comes as no surprise that the greatest strength of this movie is its visual impact. Nolan is famous for melding surrealism and granular detail to create imagery that makes you feel like you're plummeting through the world's smartest amusement park ride. This is a movie about four people who take a fantastic journey to another galaxy through an artificial wormhole in orbit around Saturn. The wormhole itself is worth the entire price of IMAX admission. Glittering and alien, roaring with rock concert levels of sound, it has the potential to wrap you in badass levels of wonderment.

What we see on the other side of the wormhole is equally magnificent. A gas-ringed black hole is orbited by two planets with weather systems that stretch the imagination — and test our characters' endurance. This aspect of the film, the pure Golden Age science fiction story of visiting strange worlds, does exactly what space opera is supposed to do. It takes your breath away, and fills you with a wanderlust the likes of which only a wormhole can truly satisfy.

Nolan shot the film using a lot of practical effects, and this really matters when it comes to the spaceship sequences. The pilot Cooper (a scenery-chewing Matthew McConaughey) and his crew are in a ring-shaped vessel called the Endurance, and every time the landing ships dock with it you can see the telltale wobbles that reveal this isn't a perfect, clean CGI creation. I'm not saying the ships look like models — in fact, they look more realistic than anything digital. There's a feeling of heft and fragility that you get with practical effects that CGI never achieves, and it's perfect for this story.

As writer Jonathan Nolan has said, the look is also a major tip of the hat to 2001, which inspired many aspects of Interstellar.

A Barren Future

The mind-bending vistas of space are echoed back on Earth, but in a way that's depressing rather than awe-inspiring. As the film opens, Cooper and his daughter Murphy are living on a vast corn farm, trying desperately to eke out a living (and food) in a world of massive dust storms, climate change, and population decline. We never know for sure what's happened, but we get little hints that crop blight is a constant threat — and the blight itself is an organism that is pumping so much nitrogen into the air that oxygen levels are going down. Within a generation, it's likely that suffocation will be a bigger issue than starvation.

With humanity's future hanging in the balance, a few scientists at NASA are racing against time to get what remains of Homo sapiens off the dusty, dangerous rock that can no longer support us. Brand (Michael Caine) is a physicist who has helped create the ship that will take Cooper and his crew (including Brand's daughter, a rather bland Anne Hathaway, also named Brand) through the wormhole to visit possible colony worlds. While they're gone, the elder Brand will work with Cooper's genius daughter Murphy to try to "solve gravity" so that they can create artificial worlds for humans in space.

Again, the visions of this dying Earth are spectacular. We see massive, bruised dust storms looming over burned fields, and watch the whole world suffer through a 1930s-style dust bowl apocalypse. The urgency of the problems on Earth may not be scientifically accurate, but they work emotionally.

Time and Relativity

The problem with this film is that the emotions evoked by its landscapes are not matched by the characters. Monolith-shaped robot TARS, voiced by Bill Irwin, crackles with more personality than Cooper, Brand and Murphy (Jessica Chastain). One of the great tensions we're supposed to feel in this film is between Cooper and Murphy — due to the time-distortions of relativity, Murphy grows up while Cooper is off exploring. So he knows that he's lost the chance to watch his beloved daughter grow up the instant he steps into the spaceship. The question is how much more of her life he will miss.

There are some incredible moments of dramatic urgency as we see Cooper and Murphy working to save humanity in two different galaxies, but their relationship has been sketched so lightly that their tears don't move us as much as they should.

The relationship between Brand and her father is equally light, though intended to be much heavier. Interstellar delivers nerve-jangling action scenes, but really stumbles when it comes to these interpersonal notes. And that's a problem in a movie that wants to be a psychological melodrama that just happens to be set in space.

Instead of giving us emotional relationships whose details feel as real as his exoplanets, Nolan gives us a kooky relativity lesson. The closer Cooper and the crew get to the black hole — which is irritatingly described as an "oyster" containing a "pearl" of singularity — the slower time gets, due to gravity distortions. So we see Cooper and Brand remaining young, while Murphy and Brand's father age back on Earth. Somehow these dislocated time scales are supposed to capture the distance and relatedness between all of them, but instead the scenario feels gimmicky and occasionally downright silly.

Some Very Bad Woo

It's funny that this movie, which is so in love with science, falls down when it comes to physics. Yes, there are bits of the film taken directly from the cutting-edge work of physicist Kip Thorne (who consulted with Nolan), but there is an egregious amount of pseudoscientific woo that feels wildly out of place. At one point, Brand infodumps a clumsy analogy between Einstein's theory of relativity and the idea of emotional relatedness — love between humans, like gravity, transcends dimensions. She says that love might even be the fifth dimension, where the beings who made the wormhole live.

Wait, what? Are we watching that campy flick The Fifth Element, where ladies dress in toilet paper and talk about how love is a physical force that can save the world? Unfortunately, you will begin to feel that the answer is yes about halfway through Interstellar.

Put simply, Interstellar has a strong undercurrent of cheesiness. A lot of things happen that make no sense unless you believe that love is the missing variable in all our calculations of how cosmology works. We can partly blame movies like 2001 for this trope, because that film had its share of incomprehensible transcendent something something lurking beneath its futuristic snark. Even the hyper-scientific Contact gave us a weird father/daughter, physics/love scenario at one point. But that doesn't mean it works.

Interstellar seems torn between hard science fiction realism and new age spiritual beliefs about quantum.

And that makes for a bad mix. Watching Interstellar is really like watching two movies slowly collide with each other. One is a masterpiece of space opera, whose vistas will fill you with wonder and give you hope for the future of humanity in space (and time). The other is a predictable, stale melodrama about how absent fathers are actually super great and women exist to channel love.

The result is a mess. But it's a beautiful mess, and one that I wouldn't want you to miss for the world.

Annalee Newitz is the editor-in-chief of io9. She's the author of Scatter, Adapt and Remember: How Humans Will Survive a Mass Extinction. Follow her on Twitter, or email her.

People lie. People say they'll do one thing and then do another. People have free will. Predicting what people will do is harder than predicting the weather. Those who religiously track political polling found this out the hard way last night. http://gawker.com/your-2014-elec...

The great thing about the atmosphere is that it lays its cards out for us to read. Everything is there in plain sight. The atmosphere has few tricks up its sleeve because it, unlike people, does not have free will. It follows the laws of physics. When the atmosphere catches us off-guard with a surprise snowstorm or a tornado, it's not the atmosphere's fault—that's on us for not fully understanding how the atmosphere works.

Public opinion polling firms have to predict how people think, whom people support, which issues are most important, what outside factors will influence how people will act, and ultimately if people will walk the talk and get out the vote. They use previous elections and previous electorates to predict for whom people will vote. Sometimes they're right, and sometimes they're wrong. In the 2014 midterms, they were really wrong.

It became clear early last night that the public opinion polls missed the mark when compared to the results. For Democrats, it was a shocking bloodbath on a night that was supposed to be a readjustment among red states. For Republicans, it was a vindication of something they knew all along.

Let's take a look at the preliminary final tallies in some of the most hotly-contested top-ticket races around the country.

Here are the results from the "close" Senate seats. The surprise of the night was Mark Warner's squeaker against Ed Gillespie. Warner's reelection was expected to be a cakewalk—polls showed him winning by nearly ten points—but barring the results of a potential recount, he won by 40,000 votes, or by six-tenths of one percent. The other shock was the race in Kansas, where polls showed incumbent Republican Pat Roberts losing to independent Greg Orman, only to win the election by nearly 11%. Thom Tillis won Kay Hagan's seat in North Carolina by two points in what was supposed to be a race destined for recounts.

Gubernatorial races across the country saw similar inaccuracies, especially in Maryland, where the Republican candidate pulled off one of the greatest upsets in modern political history.

I'll leave the reasoning behind deep biases in the polling to political scientists with more experience than I'll ever have, but one thing I've noticed after every election where the results take a sharp turn away from polling is that people blame the polls. They blame the polls. Think about that.

People blaming the polls for being wrong is like people blaming meteorologists when it snows and they called for rain. It was always going to snow, it's just that we didn't know it would snow until it snowed. When you have shocking but decisive victories like Pat Roberts' in Kansas or Larry Hogan's in Maryland, it's not because the electorate changed its mind at the last second—it was always going to vote for Pat Roberts or Larry Hogan. Last night was always going to be the not-so-close Republican wave it turned out to be. The polls got it wrong because they missed something, so it took everyone by surprise. Weather forecasters get their predictions wrong because they missed something or there was a factor involved that our mortal weather models couldn't comprehend or process.

Public opinion polling is much like weather forecasting in that both polling and weather forecasts provide us a snapshot in time of an ever-changing variable. That snapshot is usually a good indicator of what will really happen; keep in mind that our three-day forecasts today are as accurate as one-day forecasts were back in the 1980s, and public opinion polls are usually accurate to within a couple of points.

Sometimes they get it wrong. Sometimes it snows when we didn't think it would. Sometimes politicians win when we didn't think they would and close races turn out not to be that close at all. When forecasters get it wrong, they analyze what happened and learn from their errors so they don't make the same mistake again. Polling firms will have to do the same thing.

There is one big difference, though: you can't change the weather, but you can change the outcome of elections. Whether it was this year or 2012 or back in 1994, if you don't like that the polls misled you on the outcome of an election, do something about it next time and actually vote.

[Image: Maryland Governor-Elect Larry Hogan via AP]

You can follow the author on Twitter or send him an email.

In my tenure as Baby Name Critic, I have seen many appellations that have given me pause. Wyatt Isabelle. Esmeralda Amada. Titan Jewell. (That was this morning.)

My job as critic, which I take very seriously, is to make sense of our celebrities' childrens' names and how they relate to our modern times. Why do they name their children after outlaws and gypsies and moons? Because they are insane people who cannot be reasoned with to make good decisions for their offspring.

No matter. Robert Downey Jr., an extremely profitable actor whose performance as an alcoholic journalist in Zodiac I very much enjoyed, has brought into this world a new girl human with his wife Susan, and she is named Avri Roel.

According to acronyms.thefreedictionary.com, Avri could stand for a number of things:

• Alberta Veterinary Research Institute
• Ambulatory Venous Retention Index
• American Vintage Reissue
• Australian Vital Records Index

As far as I know, Downey does not have any meaningful connections to these groups.

Here are some other theories behind the jumble of letters that is this baby's name:

1. It is within the realm of possibility that Avri was conceived after a really good game of Scrabble, in which eight tiles remaining happened to spell out A-V-R-I-R-O-E-L, and she was named in honor of this.
2. It is possible that Downey is secretly very close friends with Avril Lavigne and named his baby daughter after her.
3. Avri could be short for Avraham. "Roel" is a Dutch name, pronounced ruhl, typically a diminutive for Roland. Did Robert Downey Jr. actually name his daughter Avraham Roland?

This one is a mystery deeper than the Zodiac.

This has been Baby Name Critic.

Leah Finnegan is Gawker's Baby Name Critic.

[Photo via AP]

Blair Waldorf's husband, Adam Brody, has signed on to co-star in the 10-episode "incest drama" by Neil LaBute for DirecTV, the Wrap reports. Billy and Billie will be about two step-siblings who fall in love...with each other!

From the Wrap:

The 10-episode series centers around Brody's character Billy, who falls in love with his step-sister, Billie (Lisa Joyce). In addition to the normal trials and tribulations any young couple must face, the lovesick pair's lives are further burdened by their relationship as step-siblings.

This is LaBute's third series for the satellite provider-turned-content-purveyor. His latest, Kingdom, stars Nick Jonas with his shirt off.

"I can't wait to work with on this new series with [DirecTV] as we continue to push the boundaries of what American television can and should be," LaBute told the Wrap. We can't wait either!

[Image via AP]

A man faces multiple charges after attempting to eat his DWI breathalyzer test results (DWI breathalyzer test results? what DWI breathalyzer test results?) after being arrested in Tarrytown, New York.

According to the AP, New York state police stopped 40-year-old Kenneth Desormes, of Greenwich, Connecticut, when he was speeding on Interstate 95 at 5:30 a.m. on Sunday morning. He was reportedly arrested after police spoke to him and determined he was intoxicated.

Desormes was taken to the state police barracks in Tarrytown, where the pieces of his plan fell into place. While his breathalyzer tests results were printing—print, print, print, nothing to see here, print, print, print—he reportedly grabbed the documents from the printer and attempted to quickly ingest them.

Sadly, his plan was foiled when, I guess, somebody saw him trying to shove all the paper coming out of the printer into his mouth. AP reports he was charged with "driving while intoxicated, obstructing governmental administration, and criminal tampering."

Aw, Kenneth. You'll eat 'em next time.

[image via New York State Police]

Welcome to Midweek Madness, in which previously sentient humanity undergoes a series of arcane transubstantive rituals at the hands of the Lucky Charms leprechaun and ends up as a bunch of marshmallows floating in the amniotic milk at the bottom of the bowl. This week, a biographer threatens to spill all of Beyonce's secrets; booty-craving Taylor Swift fears being framed for murder; Scott Disick is in love with Khloe Kardashian; and you readers who wanted space breaks, you got em, babes.

inTouch

BODYGUARD TELLS ALL: BEYONCE AND JAY-Z SPLIT!

For six months! In 2006! But we'll get to that later. Up at the very front of this rare archival copy of the King James Bible, Dylan Penn, daughter of Sean, says that Charlize Theron is "the only woman since my mom who can shut my dad up." Petition for Charlize Theron and Robin Wright to do a spinoff series starring two Claire Underwoods in a steamy political remake of Black Swan! Tori Spelling owns 127 storage units: not enough! *buys Tori Spelling 3 more storage units* Jose Canseco shot off his middle finger while cleaning his gun. Yo, I did that like a week ago and it was sooooo bad. Still love guns though! *dedicates my yoga practice to Jose Canseco's severed middle finger* Gwen Stefani is pregnant with her fourth child and we know this because she wore overalls to a pumpkin patch. Also Blake Lively is maybe having a girl and she's excited because she has "some amazing shoes and bags and stories that need to be appreciated." I hope, if Blake Lively has a girl, that she's the most surly, square-jawed, genderqueer motherfucker ever to live. Tom Cruise has ~set his sights~ on Miranda Kerr. Far away in the distance, a long-haired elf draws his bow back, shakes out a platinum mane of horse hair and squints calmly at his prey.

Here's a great spread on celebrities that have day jobs, featuring subtle shade in the subhead: "Whether to follow their passions or to make ends meet, these stars traded the spotlight for 9-to-5 gigs." Tiffany I Think We're Alone Now Tiffany has a boutique in Nashville. Susan Boyle is a cashier. Kevin Jonas is a contractor. The littlest kid on Home Improvement makes vegan organic cheeses. "IS SMEGMA VEGAN," squawked a toddler born in a Miami hotel. J. Randy Taraborrelli, who has written ALL of the juiciest celebrity biographies, is writing a book about Beyonce. He's interviewing her hairstylists, makeup artists, bodyguards and it's Beyonce's worst nightmare, worse than the one where she's in her own vault and she looks at all the pictures and all of the teeth fall out of all the pictures at the same time. THE THING IS, Beyonce and Jay-Z split up for six months in 2006 because of Rihanna, and J. Randy "I Am Lorde, Ya Ya Ya" Tambourine is gonna expose IT ALL! Potentially there will also be MAD HOT GOSS about how Kelly Rowland may actually be Beyonce's half-sister: love child of Mathew Knowles. Bey's female empowerment creed could take a hit if it's revealed she had plastic surgery, growls a pimply ogre. No it won't, ogre. Take a nap buddy.

Brad Pitt's kids call him "Stinky Daddy." I'll call him Stinky Daddy too, if that's what he wants!!!!!!!!! Stevie Wonder is expecting triplets, which will bring the number of children he has fathered to a STRONG 11. Jessa Duggar had 1,000 people at her wedding. NOT ENOUGH! NEVER ENOUGH! ASSEMBLE GOD'S ARMY AND SMITE THE HEDONISTS INTO DUST! The Kardashians are all addicted to lip plumpers. *peers out over the Pridelands with my hand gently stroking behind Simba's ears* Son, every family must honor its own traditions. FINALLY, GUYS: CALLIE BEUSMAN'S BUNNY LUCIFER FUCKIN LOOKS LIKE GANDALF. "He is generous of spirit and very wise," says Callie, IN THE MAGAZINE, of her 10-month-old Lionhead rabbit. Lucifer was last seen at 4 AM in the parking garage of Soho House in West Hollywood, doing cocaine off the fingernail of a sleek young guinea pig.

Grade: A+ (LU LUCIFER LUCIFER SON OF THA MORNIN)

Star

JESSICA & ERIC SEPARATING!

Producers of the third Bridget Jones movie are worried that Renee Zellweger's new face will render Bridget newly unrelatable. But what is more relatable than 1) doing what you feel and/or 2) caving under the anvil of woman-directed social pressure that eventually flattens us all? REESE IN PIECES! Where, give me some??? Over KAT MCPHEE! Shit. Here's the thing, Kat McPhee side-pieced herself all up in Reese's BFF's marriage, and Reese, like any good and crazy Southern girl, will go FUCKING NUTS ON YOUR ASS if you do something to her girl friend, who she doesn't even like that much anyway, but that does not mean you can come over here and ask me for a cigarette, Kat McPhee. Courteney Cox and her fiancé are planning their very special monogamy christening, which will feature "TWO BASHES." I love a good bash! Ed Sheeran introduced them and is going to sing a special song for their first dance. "DJ Diplo" is expecting a baby with ex-girlfriend Kathryn Lockhart and current girlfriend Kitty Purry is peeeiissed. There is absolutely no word on when these magazines are going to stop calling him "DJ Diplo."

Cressida Bonas, a British bag of cocaine borne from the collective vagina of all the universe's constellations, has broken up with Prince Harry. "When he's drinking he'll stick his tongue down the throat of any girl who takes his fancy," says a source (Cressida Bonus). Jessica Simpson and husband of four months Eric Johnson are fIgHtInG :( Here is a direct quote from her appearance on Jay Leno, pegged to god knows what news item: "He keeps knocking me up." Jessica, girl, get an IUD! "We're doing it very backwards." The IUD will still protect against that! "I'll just keep my legs crossed." *goes back in time to murder anyone who had a part in this woman's education* Jessica's fashion biz pulls $1 billion a year, and her prenup gives Eric $200,000 as an anniversary present every year. He gets an employment bonus of a strong million if they reach 10 years, which seems like, maybe that's why he's knocking you up, darling? KATHY BATES AND SUSAN SARANDON SMOKE WEED TOGETHER. *four thousand of us show up on their doorstep* hi

Grade: D (J Diplo)

Life & Style

SCOTT'S IN LOVE WITH KHLOE

J.Lo is in talks for a two-year Vegas residency. J. Lo is down for it as long as she doesn't have to share any space with Britney, bitch. The doll's voice box inside Kim Kardashian's ribs was hacked: "I would love to be a forensic investigator," it sad. "I've literally asked attorneys to intern on a big murder trial. I know I can help solve it." You can! Only you can! You, Kim Kardashian, can help solve… MURDER! Here's the cover story: Scott Disick wants to fuck Khloe Kardashian. Evidence includes: they play tennis together, hold hands, wear their PJs in the same picture, get in bubble baths, admit they're attracted to each other, and go see each other whenever Scott and Kourtney are in a fight. Hmmm…….. not the worst evidence! Scott wants to "combine" Khloe and Kourtney to form the perfect woman. Good luck to Scott as he embarks on a bioethical nightmare like none on Earth have ever seen!

Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel are saving their marriage through babby! It was rough going—isn't it always rough going—but Justin was like, "Babe, stick it out till I finish this tour, babe," and Jessica was like, "Okay, but only till I finish opening my new restaurant in Santa Monica which is literally called AU FUDGE," and then they went to go see a fertility specialist and now everything will be perfect forever. Taylor Swift is lovable because she wears relatable fast fashion. *stares around at the flood of pedestrians waiting for someone to love ME* Would you like to know……. How A-Listers Outsmart Fat? The answer is "quitting sugar cold turkey." But I fackin LOVE sugar cold turkayyyyyyy!!! Yassssss, sugar cold tarkay, slayyyyyyyyy

Grade: F (an alarm clock that's just Kim Kardashian saying "literally")

OK!

IT'S WAR!

Okay!! It is war!!! GOP congressmen against female bodily autonomy! Good feminists versus bad feminists!!! Civil, in South Sudan! ISIS and Mali and Syria and the Islamist crisis in Nigeria and the conflict in Libya! Just kidding: the war is between the Jenners and the Kardashians. We will get to this human rights crisis in about one second after we lose ourselves in the riveting new psychological thriller called Taylor Wants a Booty. "She figures, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em," whispers a gravel-voiced butt clown hiding in the sewer. Swift would like the booty in time for her December birthday and is pounding sew many turkeys and avocados to get there. Lindsay Lohan is getting banned from gifting suites because she takes too much stuff. Hahahaha *keeps laughing while I show up at your open bar event and order 17 double Jamo gingers to go* STARS, THEY'RE JUST LIKE US

Taylor "Wants a Booty" Swifterson showed up at Ellen and confessed that her greatest fear is: GETTING FRAMED FOR MURDER! Nice try, Taylor, you're afraid of getting convicted! Of killing all of our vibes! But truly, has a pop star ever been so goddamn Nixonian? Gwen Stefani doesn't want to let Gavin Rossdale's daughter Daisy Lowe live with them because she's "kind of trashy." Daisy, I literally live in a garbage can, so I feel you girl: no one wants me in their house either.

OKAY: time for our hard-hitting political coverage of the Kardashian-Jenner In-House E! Online (TM) Sponsored Rebel Insurgency. Tidbits include: Kendall has banned Kim from attending fashion shows she's walking in; she also kalled her sisters "fat losers." Kourtney is kalling Kylie a home wrecker for what she's doing to Tyga and Blac Chyna. Also: Khloe is a "protective mama bear"! *emails the US Forest Service & Wildlife Protection snapshots of Khloe Kardashian* PLEASE SEND THIS BEAR BACK TO HER BABIES Apparently Portia and Ellen are fighting so bad that they backed out last-minute of a charity event they were co-hosting because their en-route limo spat got so HAWT. The couple has issued a statement saying they were never intending to attend in the first place, Kelly. I just found out that Teresa Giudice has a daughter named Gia. I've been waiting all my life for a nemesis *plunges deep into the earth's core to plot my destruction of 13-year-old "Gia," who is releasing sexy videos of herself on the internet, just like me*

Grade: D (a fart that turns out to be so much more)

US Weekly

JEN TELLS JUSTIN: LET'S ELOPE!

Ashton Kutcher, secretive angel investor and Silicon Valley hero, is squatting on Instagram handles and domain names for his daughter. "I don't want a porn site with my daughter's name!" he told the magazine, communicating through Morse code and a trumpet while I upload pictures of Callie's bunny to WyattKutcher.xxx Bill Murray once got in a cab where his driver talked about not having enough time to play the saxophone, so Bill Murray took the wheel and drove his driver around so he could jam. WOW, what are we even doing not making a movie about that? Can Callie's bunny be the driver? *gets on Etsy to buy a bunny sax* Chris O'Donnell ate his first banana when he was 20 years old. *drops to a whisper* I heard Callie's bunny was like, 11. I was more like, mid-teens? Use your imagination. *WINK* Here's the cover story about Jen and Justin's impending wedding!! It's so juicy. They are going to do a "Goth Mary Engelbreit" theme and host the intimate 69-person affair at a Medieval Times in suburban Illinois; the maid of honor will be Soledad O'Brien, the best man will be Callie Beusman's bunny, and the officiant will be a Sysco vat of mayonnaise. Just kidding it will be "relaxed and beachy." *Callie's bunny does the jackoff motion until the end of time*

Grade: A+ (type of coke preferred by Lucifer Beusman)

Fig 1-3, inTouch

Fig 4, Us Weekly

The Los Angeles Zoo has its' first brand new baby hippo in 26 years thanks to sneaky 10-year-old hippo Mara, who totally skipped her birth control pills and did it with a young, hot hippo named Adhama. Mara went in to surprise labor on Halloween. Trick!

KTLA reports:

Mara had been putting on weight lately, so those around her thought something was up. But she was on birth control, so if there was to be a baby, that would be a bit of a surprise.

Surprise! No word on how Adhama—who's only 3—feels about all this.

At least the new baby, whose sex has yet to be determined, is cute.

[Photos via KTLA]

We already know tech's diversity reports are dismal. Now a black female engineer who works at Google adds a narrative to the corporate numbers that are so easy to dismiss. In eight years at the company, she has cycled through harassment, isolation, being passed over for promotions, and surrendering her identity to fit in.

The first-person expose comes from an engineer writing under the pen name EricaJoy. On Medium, Erica set out to chronicle the "psychological effects of being a minority in a mostly homogeneous workplace for an extended period of time." It's worse than you think.

Erica started out at Google's Atlanta office in 2006, where her white male colleagues were quick to make racially-charged comments. When she finally brought it up to managers, the company shipped her off to New York. Emphasis added:

The negative micro-aggressions from my first coworker continued and I said nothing until I reached my breaking point. He not so subtly hinted that my connecting with the few other black techs in other offices (who happened to be male) was anything other than professional. That was my last straw. I tried to talk to a female teammate in a different office about the situation. She'd been there longer and was something of a leader. She didn't want to get involved. I went to my manager about the problems, told him that I planned to speak with HR. It was decided that the best way to deal with the "tension" between that coworker and I was for me to transfer to New York, despite my not wanting to move there. I don't believe my manager ever engaged HR about the problems and neither did I. I didn't want to make waves and isolate myself further from the team. I didn't want to be that stereotype, the black woman with a chip on her shoulder. I didn't want to make the rest of my team uncomfortable.

A year after arriving in New York, Erica was moving again—this time to Google's main headquarters in Mountain View. But life inside the Googleplex hasn't been much better:

I arrived in the Bay Area in August of 2008. Being in Silicon Valley has been simultaneously great for my career but bad for me as a person. I've been able to work on multiple different teams and really interesting projects. Unfortunately, my workplace is homogenous and so are my surroundings. I feel different everywhere. I go to work and I stick out like a sore thumb. I have been mistaken for an administrative assistant more than once. I have been asked if I was physical security (despite security wearing very distinctive uniforms). I've gotten passed over for roles I know I could not only perform in, but that I could excel in. Most recently, one such role was hired out to a contractor who needed to learn the language the project was in (which happened to be my strongest language). I spent some time and energy trying to figure out why that happened, if it was to do with unconscious bias or if it was an honest mistake.

Erica writes that discrimination and pressure to fit in causes constant stress and has even taken a physical toll, including a heart condition and stress-induced acne. For those who have a hard time believing that, she broke down the day-to-day discomfort of being a black female employee at Google.

• I feel alone every day I come to work, despite being surrounded by people, which results in feelings of isolation.
• I feel like I stick out like sore thumb every day.
• I am constantly making micro-evaluations about whether or not my actions will be attributed to my being "different."
• I feel like my presence makes others uncomfortable so I try to make them feel comfortable.
• I feel like there isn't anyone who can identify with my story, so I don't tell it.
• I feel like I have to walk a tightrope to avoid reinforcing stereotypes while still being heard.
• I have to navigate the expectation of stereotypical behavior and disappointment when it doesn't happen (e.g. my not being the "sassy black woman").
• I frequently wonder how my race and gender are coloring perceptions of me.
• I wonder if and when I've encountered racists (the numbers say it's almost guaranteed that I have) and whether or not they've had an effect on my career.
• I feel a constant low level of stress every day, just by virtue of existing in my environment.
• I feel like I've lost my entire cultural identity in effort to be part of the culture I've spent the majority of the last decade in.

Fortunately, Erica's situation is improving. She's working at "re-establishing my authentic self," moving to the more inclusive East Bay, and volunteering with organizations like Black Girls Code.

Before anyone trots out the excuse that all corporations are equally as bad, check out Erica's description of working at Home Depot's corporate headquarters, where they "had diversity nailed" and culture fit wasn't an issue. "I didn't have to be anything different than who I was and I flourished there."

To contact the author of this post, please email kevin@valleywag.com.

Photo: Getty

Public employees have public money in their pension funds to save for retirement. Those pension funds invest that public money in private equity firms. Those private equity firms then refuse to say how much they're charging, and why. Hmmm.

Now that big public pension funds are finally beginning to reject the ultra-high fees, opaque strategies, and questionable value of hedge funds, attention has turned to their investments in private equity funds—which also have ultra-high fees and different opaque strategies. Leaving aside the question of whether or not billions of dollars in public money should even be plowed into these expensive "exotic" investments in the first place, I think that most reasonable people can agree that an opulent private equity firm should not be able to take the retirement money of public employees and then not reveal what it's doing with it.

And yet! From the Wall Street Journal today comes an examination of how some of the world's leading private equity firms are trying to strongarm public retirement funds into breaking public records laws. That seems... not in the public spirit.

KKR & Co. warned Iowa's public pension fund against complying with a public-records request for information about fees it paid the buyout firm, saying that doing so risked it being barred from future private-equity investments.

In an Oct. 28 letter to the Iowa Public Employees' Retirement System, KKR General Counsel David Sorkin said the data was confidential and exempt from disclosure under Iowa's open-records law. Releasing it could cause "competitive harm" to KKR, the letter said, and could prompt private-equity fund managers to bar entree to future deals and "jeopardize [the pension fund's] access to attractive investment opportunities."

Yes: here we have an investment firm more or less ordering a public pension fund to ignore public records law with the threat that they might not be allowed to give more public money to this private investment firm in the future. And what is the big secret that cannot be revealed? Fees! I wonder just who might be damaged by the public knowing the fees that their own pension firms are paying on their own pensions? Hint: not the public!

Gretchen Morgenson published a deep exploration of this very same issue in the New York Times a couple of weeks ago, if you have a large appetite for outrage.

I would suggest that middle class public employees instruct their pension funds to instruct these private equity firms to take their extremely high fees that they are unwilling to publicly reveal and go fucking fuck themselves.

[Pic via]

Saira Blair, an 18-year-old who had been campaigning from her dorm room at West Virginia University, was voted into the West Virginia House of Delegates position on Tuesday, making her the youngest state lawmaker in America. Celebrate! But then be afraid.

As the Wall Street Journal reports, Blair defeated her Democrat opponent, an attorney who campaigned on secondary education reform and fixing West Virginia's drug epidemic. Blair, on the other hand, campaigned for gun rights and against abortion, winning the seat in the House of Delegates by a 63-percent vote.

Via Blair's celebratory statement on her Facebook page:

When I made the decision to run for public office, I did so because I firmly believe that my generation's voice, fresh perspective and innovative ideas can help solve some of our state's most challenging issues.

History has been made tonight in West Virginia, and while I am proud of all that we have accomplished together, it is the future of this state that is now my singular focus. Since launching my campaign, I have met with and listened to the concerns of my fellow citizens, and as your delegate I will work tirelessly, and fight for each and every one of you. Now, it is time to get to work.

"A fresh perspective and innovative ideas" sounds good in theory, but probably not in practice when the Republican legislator comes off as an old white politician. Blair has announced she'll defer her spring semester and continue classes in the summer and fall, where she'll study—no surprise—economics.

[Image via AP]

Today is a pretty nice day across much of the country, with mild to warm temperatures in most spots from coast to coast. Enjoy it while it lasts, though, because cold Arctic air is likely to spill down from Canada next week, plunging temperatures 10 to 20 degrees below normal.

A low pressure system will develop over the Plains early next week, gathering strength as it moves northeast towards the Great Lakes and Ontario over the following couple of days. A strong cold front associated with the low will drag cold air from Canada south into the United States by midweek.

Both the GFS (American) and ECWMF (European) models show both high and low temperatures behind the cold front coming in 10 to 20 (or more) degrees below average for this time of the year. The above animation shows temperature anomalies from this morning's run of the GFS model, beginning this afternoon and ending next Friday night.

How cold could temperatures get? The National Weather Service in Chicago is predicting the city's high temperature to only reach 39°F on Tuesday. The latest GFS model suggests that high temperatures could have a hard time making it out of the 30s and 40s across much of the country east of the Rockies from Wednesday through the weekend.

It's worth noting that parts of New England close to the Canadian border from New York to Maine could see some accumulating snowfall this week. Winter Storm Watches are in effect in northern Maine at this hour for 6-12 inches of snow. More snow could fall in border states from Washington to Michigan over the next week or so, especially in the Upper Midwest. Exact amounts to be determined closer to the event, but a measurable accumulation is possible.

[Images: WeatherBELL]

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The writers of Jeopardy are good at a very certain thing, which is researching and writing a series of questions that tests both the depth and breadth of your knowledge. They are also bad at a very certain thing, which is making up names for fake rappers.

Last night's episode opened with a category called "Not a Successful Rap Musician," which asked the contestants to pick which rapper name out of a group of three was clearly made up by the show's writers. Below are all five of the category's answers—just to be clear, this happened on the real Jeopardy for adults who have trained for hours upon hours to appear on this illustrious game show, and not the Jeopardy for awkward suck-up teenagers.

This is legitimately one of the most embarrassing things I've ever seen on television. Below is full video of the category in case you're itching to hear Alex Trebek say the words "Boogaloo B" (or Lil Scrappy).

You may not know or remember the earlier exploits of Lt. Gordon "Dr. Chaps" Klingenschmitt (USN-Ret.), the new state representative for evangelical wackadoo-heavy Colorado Springs. But let us remind you, because he's probably the most insane of nutso politicians elected last night.

On a night when the id of Inner America came as close as it ever will to realizing its nastiest anti-Kenyan-socialism snuff-porn fantasies, Klingenschmitt's ascension to elected office—with nearly 70 percent of the vote—was such a sudden and smooth climax that most election observers missed it.

Klingenschmitt earned minor fame in military circles a few years ago for pushing back hard against a proposed Don't Ask, Don't Tell repeal. As a radically conservative Christian Navy chaplain, he argued that being civil to gays was a violation of his First Amendment rights. The Navy disagreed and drummed him out in 2006 after he started attending political protests in uniform against military regs. But he became a star of the right-wing religious media crowd—and his facile argument became a mainstream conservative talking point.

Then he got crazy. He started this website:

He also started a YouTube religious series (see one installment above) that's more about satanic socialist Obummerism than it is about the saving grace of Christ's sacrifice. Here's a summary from Right Wing Watch's endless file on Klingenschmitt:

[He] brags of having once tried to rid of woman of the " foul spirit of lesbianism" through an exorcism and... openly proclaims that "American law needs to reflect God's law" and that our foreign policy must be based on the Bible...

Klingenschmitt, who wrote a book about how President Obama is possessed by demons and once performed an exorcism of Obama, ran an utterly embarrassing campaign yet nonetheless managed to defeat his Democratic opponent by nearly 40 points...

Klingenschmitt is a viciously anti-gay theocrat who believes that gay people " want your soul" and may sexually abuse their own children, which is why he says they should face government discrimination since only people who are going to heaven are entitled to equal treatment by the government.

Here's a partial shot of RWW's dozens of incredible video soundbites excerpted from Klingenschmitt's show:

And here's what Klingenshmitt does now. Like, for a living:

No, America. No. BAD America. BAD.

Frederick Wiseman has been making his brand of long, implicitly narrative documentaries about institutions for almost 50 years, and I'll be damned if his most recent, National Gallery, isn't among his very finest. The movie, which opens today at New York's Film Forum, examines the London art museum after which it is named from inside out—we see scenes of its patrons looking at art, its guides explaining the art, its administration discussing how to properly share the art with the public, its restorers showing how they preserve the museum's priceless pieces. It is a calmly brilliant, regularly fascinating three-hour look at what constitutes art and how to best share it.

I spoke with Wiseman last year when he was promoting At Berekley, but there was no way I was going to turn down the chance to talk to the master documentarian again. We talked in the Film Forum office yesterday, and I found him as pragmatic and matter-of-fact as his movies. Below is a lightly edited and slightly condensed version of our chat.

Gawker: Have you read the reviews of National Gallery?

Frederick Wiseman: Yeah, the reviews are pretty good. I have no objection. They're great.

Is that a thrill?

Of course I like it. Why wouldn't I like it if somebody likes the films? Despite what some people say, that they don't read reviews, that they don't care, I think everybody cares. Of course you like good reviews. There's a difference between a reasoned bad review and an intemperate bad review. If it's a reasoned bad review, you might learn something. What there seems to be recognition of in National Gallery so far is what I describe as the literal and the abstract. Maybe it's because it's nominally a movie about paintings, but I always think, whether it's my film or somebody else's film, when it works, it works because there's that relationship between what's going on in the sequence, the literal aspects of the sequence, and what's suggested not only by the individual sequence but by the choice in the order of the sequences, which I think is often more abstract. It requires, as they say, thought. I'm very conscious of that when I'm cutting and I don't think a film works unless that dual track is present.

Would you right now for me go as far as to make literal the abstract things you're referring to in National Gallery?

I think there are a lot of ideas that are suggested and, to some extent, explored. The whole issue of comparative forms, for example. How you tell a story in a movie, a painting, a poem, a play, a dance. What's involved in seeing. How do you read a painting? The way words are used to describe nonverbal forms.

I think art accessibility is a huge theme in this movie. It's introduced toward the beginning.

The sequence in the film between the director of the gallery and the head of communications [introduces the notion of] what's the role of the public art gallery to interest the general public. The director takes the view that he'd rather have an interesting failure than a mediocre success. The woman who's the head of communications is talking about, "Well, you have to find out what the public wants, etc." In a sense, it's in part related to the traditional issue of Hollywood movies, because the effort is always to reach the largest number of people, which means the film has to be oriented most of the time toward the lowest common denominator. I find that idea extremely condescending, but you see those different points of view played out in film. By putting that sequence early in the film, from my point of view, it [indirectly] asks the viewer of the film to look at the sequences they subsequently see in relation to those two different points of view.

I couldn't help but feel a greater sense than usual of the interplay between your process and your subject. The issues in this movie seem pertinent to what you do.

Of course!

We're watching people look, and we're watching them through your lens. During that sequence you just mentioned, the director of communications says, "People don't quite understand what we do and what we have," and it seems like part of the movie's job is to explain that exactly.

Yes, and you see in the following parts of the movie the efforts that the museum is presently making to help the general public understand what the collection is and you can make up your own mind whether they are doing a good job.

Did you agree with the director? Would you rather have an interesting failure than a mediocre success?

Yes, personally.

Your movies are interested in communicating, but you are not making blockbusters.

I'm not laying it out. I'm avoiding didacticism and I'm avoiding prescriptions.

And you pay the price for that, in a certain way.

Yeah, but it's a price I willingly pay.

I think that's always the question when you're attempting to be heard: to what extent do you negotiate the people's capacity to hear with what you're putting out?

It's particularly interesting when the argument is made in relation to a place like the National Gallery because the paintings exist. The paintings can't be changed. A Hollywood studio puts electrodes in an audience's head and if they don't like the ending because the brainwaves aren't sufficiently excited, they can change the ending. But the issue isn't changing Rembrandt. The issue is are there better or more successful ways of educating people about Rembrandt. So it's not exactly the same issue.

Do you keep up with Hollywood?

No.

Not at all?

No, I don't go to the movies very much. Any movies. I see about three or four movies a year. It's not because I don't like to go to the movies, I do, it's because I work all the time. I travel a lot and I like to get out and go skiing, and blah blah blah.

Last time we talked, I asked how age has affected your process. Any updates?

I don't think it's affected the process. I like to think I've learned something, so in that respect age has helped. I have to be very careful to stay in good shape in order to do the movies. It requires a lot of physical effort. So I pay a lot of attention to staying in shape.

What do you do?

I ride an Exercycle everyday for 40 minutes. I lift weights—not very heavy weights, but weights nevertheless. And I do stretches. I exercise for about an hour and a half every morning. It's good for my physical health, it's good for my mental health, but I couldn't do the movies [without it]. You can't run around all day long and try and make some judgments about what you're doing if you're tired.

Had you envisioned working into your 80's?

I hadn't thought about it. I always thought I'd work as long as I could, and so far it's OK. But I occasionally recognize how old I am. I try not to.

What about the notion that artists peak? You haven't.

Any generalization about anything...artists peak, I mean, some artists peak, some artists never peak.

Do you feel accomplished?

I'm pleased with what I've done. I don't know if I'd use the word "accomplished," but I've had a really interesting career. Interesting for me. I've had a very good time doing it. I love what I'm doing, and I still approach it with the same obsessive quality that I always did.

Through your job, you've balanced variation with routine so well.

It's true, if by variation you mean I've picked different subjects. It's one of the nice things about making these movies. I get to travel a lot, I get to see a wide variety of human behavior, and I get to think about it. While the technique is basically the same, the subject matter is very different. I've said this before, but I believe it: It's like a course in adult education where I'm the alleged adult and I get to study something new every year, which is fun. It is interesting.

Do you do a lot of research before a movie?

No. I usually spend a day at the place before, because the shooting is the research. I really believe that. Since I don't stage anything, I don't like to be there observing and not be able to shoot it. At least if I'm not there, I don't know what I missed. All I try to do in advance is get a sense of the geography of a place and the daily routine, which is pretty easy to get. And then, I just start hanging around.

Every movie, then, is a risk.

It's always a risk.

Because what if you just don't get material that you find sufficiently interesting?

Yeah. The model is Las Vegas. Each movie is a roll of the dice, and that's part of the fun. Part of the fun is being surprised. Part of the fun is learning something new. And part of the fun is taking the risk. And it's also related to the idea that if you knew what you were going to find, why do it? It's the anticipation or expectation of surprise that's one of the things that keeps you going. It keeps you wanting to learn. It keeps you coming back, day after day. Each movie is an adventure. I don't know anything about the place to begin with, and then I start spending time there and I learn something about the routine and I meet people and I'm exposed to experiences that I personally haven't had.

I loved this quote about you from Tim Grierson's National Gallery review for Paste: "Now, 84, he's his own institution..."

Well, I don't think of myself that way, but it's nice of him to say.

It's true. Objectively speaking, you could make a Wiseman documentary about Wiseman documentaries.

Mmm, maybe.

Do you ever think about the fact that you haven't ever been nominated for an Oscar?

Well, I'm aware of it, but I mean, I'd be surprised if I ever was.

Why?

Look at the movies that have won Oscars.

I read that your breakthrough movie, Titicut Follies, is being made into a ballet. [Film synopsis from Wiseman's website: "The film is a stark and graphic portrayal of the conditions that existed at the State Prison for the Criminally Insane at Bridgewater, Massachusetts. Titicut Follies documents the various ways the inmates are treated by the guards, social workers and psychiatrists."]

Yes. There's a new Center for Ballet and the Arts at NYU, run by Jennifer Homans, who's a former dancer and dance writer. She wrote a great book about the history of dance called Apollo's Angels. She gave me a grant—that's why I'm in New York this fall—to work with a choreographer whose name is James Sewell to adapt Titicut Follies into a ballet. It was my idea, and I was interested in doing it as a result of doing two ballet films, which is an expression of my interest in ballet. I go to the ballet a lot. I very often like the dancers. I don't very often like the so-called storyline, particularly with modern contemporary ballet. They're always about relationships. There's nothing wrong with relationships but there is something else going on in the world. The idea of doing a ballet based on the Follies is to see whether you can use this classical form to deal with people who've committed some of the worst crimes imaginable and the way they're kept in prison. That's the idea. It remains to be seen whether it will work or not, but it's interesting. It's interesting for me to work on. It's different. I like being around dancers. It's also an expression of my interest in comparative forms. I figure I've got nothing to lose. I mean, I never think I have anything to lose, but I like the idea of seeing what, if anything, can be done with this idea.

It's a fascinating prospect, adapting a documentary into a ballet.

Well, I don't want the ballet to be a literal rendering of the movie. The sequences we choose [from the movie] will be starting-off points. They may be, to some extent, recognizable as sequences from the movie. What we're trying to do is what you can't do in a movie, for example in any documentary you're limited by what you find, if you don't coach or intervene. But in a ballet, you can suggest what might be going on inside the head or the body of the inmate or guard. So you have access to a different part of the story.

I know that you like to use the word "fair" to describe your sensibility, but as fair as you are, your presence is never less than noticeable.

Oh yeah, it's not fair in the sense of 50/50. It's fair in the totally subjective idea of what I think of as fair. It's a very self-serving term that I use.

In general, is making movies self-serving?

It's not self-serving in the sense that my ego is involved in a way of wanting to draw attention to myself.

No ego at all?

Oh, I don't say no ego at all, but I would be making a different kind of movie if the idea was to become a star or somebody featured in People magazine.

It still must feel pretty damn good to wake up and be Frederick Wiseman.

You man not believe it, but I don't think about that. I mean, I just like the idea that I wake up.

[Photo by Gretje Ferguson, courtesy of Zipporah Films]

The sad news that Fifty Shades of Grey will not feature any full-frontal has left many of us devastated. Fear not, however! Jezebel is here to pick up the rubble and distract you with the 50 best (theme, you see?) peens you can see on-screen. Trust us, these pictures will make your mood rise.

As a former video store clerk (with the smug, "unimpressed by your choices" attitude many have come and love to expect from people working minimum-wage jobs that others aren't cool enough for), I have a great fondness for letting people know all about the accidental and not-so-accidental genitals they may see in a movie of their choice. I was never shy about letting customers know if the movie they were renting had an excellent dick shot of a beloved celebrity or an especially good butt scene. I used to do that with porn, too, but stopped after I noticed that one of my customers became visibly agitated when I started talking about how awesome the camera work was in Trunks 2, an excellent pornographic feature all about dudes who love other dudes who love speedos and also taking them off and fucking butts that have just been in speedos.

But this is not that.

This is a compendium of the most important bulges and full-frontal peen that one can see in films that are available on Netflix and at their local Redbox. Some I knew, some my Jezebel colleagues helped me with, and some were complete and delightful surprises.

The biggest surprise was that this took me more than four hours to put together.

Please note that the following are not in particular order (except number one, which is self-explanatory), but the photos do tend to get a little more hot the further down you go. Isn't that always the way?

NSFW. Scroll as you wish.

50. Geoffrey Rush, Quills

49. Chris Evans, Not Another Teen Movie

48. Peter Hinwood , The Rocky Horror Picture Show

47. Vincenzo Amato, Decameron

46. Llan Mitchell-Smith, Weird Science

45. Jason Biggs, American Reunion

44. Peter Gallagher, Summer Lovers

43. Chris Messina, 28 Hotel Rooms

42. Michael Vartan, One Hour Photo

41. Skeet Ulrich, The Newton Boys

40. Giles Marini, Sex and the City

39. Steven Weber, Single White Female

38. Stephen Dorff, Innocent Lies

37.Wesley Snipes, Wildcats

36. James Deen, The Canyons

35. David Bowie, Labyrinth

34. These Unhappy Strippers, Magic Mike

33. Mark Wahlberg's Prosthesis, Boogie Nights

32. Jason Segel, Forgetting Sarah Marshall

31. That One Football Player, Any Given Sunday

30. Vincent Gallo, The Brown Bunny

29. A Whole Nude Beach of Dick, Euro Trip

28. Harvey Keitel, Bad Lieutenant

27. Richard Gere, American Gigolo

26. Kevin Bacon, Wild Things

25. Some Random Dude All Up In John C. Reilly's Face, Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story

24. Giant Dangling Penis, Hall Pass

23. Michael Fassbender, Shame

22. Viggo Mortensen, The Indian Runner

21. Matthew McConaughey, Magic Mike

20. The Wolf, Into the Woods (PBS)

19. Ken Jeong, The Hangover

18. Sacha Baron Cohen, Bruno

17. Jason Mewes, Zack and Miri Make a Porno

16. Colin Farrell, Tigerland

15. Louis Garrell, The Dreamers

14. Jake Gyllenhaal, Jarhead

13. Edward Norton, American History X

12. Heath Ledger, Brokeback Mountain

11. Whoever This Gentleman Is, Goltzius and the Pelican Company

10. Ewan McGregor, Young Adam

9. Ewan McGregor, Velvet Goldmine

8. Joe Mangienello, Magic Mike

7. Michael Pitt, The Dreamers

6. Peter Saarsgard, Kinsey

5. Emile Hirsch, Taking Woodstock

4. Mark Ruffalo, In the Cut

3. Dylan Vox, Longhorns

2. Jacob Newton, Longhorns

1. Marco Dapper, Eating Out 2: Sloppy Seconds (Call me, Marco! Also: You can see more of his work here.)

Did I miss anything important? Please post photos in the comments.

H/T: True Nude Male Celebrities

Image credits in text, top illustration by Jim Cooke.

Yesterday, videos of Orange Is the New Black's Lea DeLaria handing a prosletyzing subway preacher his ass went viral. For anyone who's been trapped on the subway with some asshole who's tritely thumping his Bible in an attempt to pull you away from the magazine you are reading or the Taylor Swift song you're listening to that's making you feel right at home, the footage of DeLaria shouting over the unsolicited advice on getting to heaven and protecting one's soul was immensely cathartic.

The videos that TMZ and Gothamist posted both started in the middle of the clash of ideologies. DeLaria has since explained to the New York Post that the preacher's sexism and homophobia are what caused her to speak up in the first place:

"He was saying women should be subservient to men and that they should dress a certain way," she told Page Six. "He literally said that the problems in the world were because of homos. That we were all driven by our lust, that we were all sinners and we were all going to hell...When he literally used the word 'homo,' I decided to get up."

DeLaria adds that she has "no problem with people talking out loud on the subway," but she does take exception to hatred:

You must always face evil and take it down. The reason evil thrives in the world, the reason hatred thrives in the world, the reason bullying thrives in the world is because of complacency. As long as we continue to take it, it will continue to thrive.

I think it's so weird that people intolerant to diversity remain living in New York. There are gays and dominant women and people of all walks of life crammed into every nook. To live here carrying such intolerance is utter masochism. Or, if you are as much of a hypocrite as I suspect you are the moment you start preaching loudly that other people should follow your own personal rules, living in New York as a bigot must provide a good source of material. When your trade or hobby involves asserting your arbitrary superiority, though, you should cherish those underlings for providing a comparative model that allows you to feel better about yourself. Thanking them silently, as opposed to condemning them publicly, it seems to me, would be the Christian thing to do.

DeLaria's self-righteousness in the videos and in the subsequent Post interview is well-earned. I'm sure it felt as good to unleash on that guy as it does to watch her do it. If you find her work here aspirational, give it a try yourself: If you see something, scream something. It will entertain your fellow subway riders at least as much as the "Showtime! Showtime!" kids.

[Image via Getty]

Skeevy dating coach and human-shaped glob of hair gel Julien Blanc has run into some setbacks in his pickup artist lecture tour of Australia. An online campaign outraged at some of Blanc's pickup methods—like grabbing women's heads and pulling them toward his crotch—convinced at least three hotels to drop out of hosting his seminars.

The backlash against Blanc started earlier this week when this video of his pickup strategy for Japan went viral:

"If you're a white male? You can do what you want. Just grab her. I pull her in, and she just kind of laughs and giggles. And all you have to say to like, take the pressure off is just yell 'Pikachu' or 'Pokémon' or 'Tamagotchi' or something," he advises.

That's followed by a boast about "romping through the streets just grabbing girls. Head. On dick. Head. On dick."

It's not an isolated incident, either. Blanc has also tweeted about choking women as an opener and Instagrammed himself "#chokinggirlsaroundtheworld."

And then there's this creepy conversation a woman had with someone she claims is Blanc after they matched on Tinder. "You should be happy I'm acknowledging your existence, you whore ... I give you a chance to be with me out of pity and this is how you act?" he says in a screenshot. (The post also includes a long, long list of gross, gross tweets Blanc has posted, including "Love is when you emotionally abuse her and she still comes back for more, right?" and "No means no. #justkidding.")

Blanc's advice to use sexual assault as a conversation opener was translated for a Japanese audience by YouTuber MsDoom99, and then made viral worldwide by Jenn Li, who started the #TakeDownJulienBlanc hashtag and accompanying change.org petition.

25,000 people have signed the petition, and Blanc's creepy pickup roadshow has been booted from three hotels.

Here's the tweet from @Marriott confirming info from my phone call yesterday. Thank you. #takedownjulienblanc pic.twitter.com/1NaSfzbotA

— #TakeDownJulienBlanc (@JennLi123) November 5, 2014

One Australian town even pulled an event permit from Blanc's company, Real Social Dynamics, and threatened to prosecute him if he goes through with his lecture there.

That's potentially a ton of lost income for Blanc, who the Daily Mail once claimed "charges men $3,000 to learn his secret tricks."

Meanwhile, Blanc hasn't mentioned any of this on his blog or Twitter. He did post a video about how he got he got his start in the pickup community—joining a "lair," because of course— and grew up into the successful professional creep you see today. Charming.

[h/t Mashable, Photo: RSDJulien/Twitter]

Tonight on the old magic lantern we got country music stars from which to avert your eyes, a startling development in the Goon Docks story, various kinds of witches, and the return of several monsters—some pitiable, some doomed—all long thought dormant.

AT 8/7c.

• ABC holds its 48th Annual (and seemingly tenth this fiscal year) CMA Awards for three whole hours, after an additional red-carpet special on CMT at 7/6c., for a total of four hours of Country Music Awarding itself all the Awards for being Country Music. Congratulations to Country Music for winning Awards.
• Hell's Kitchen ("11 Chefs Compete, Part 1," which I don't know what that means) is on Fox, against Survivor and those darn Mysteries of Laura on NBC.
• The CW's Arrow presents "The Secret Origin of Felicity Smoak," who is the only character on that show, based on my intensive internet research, which leads us to the conclusion that Ms. Smoak is the titular Arrow, problem solved, we can all go home. Thanks Laura for solving the Mystery of who is Arrow but now solve how does she think "Smoak" is a real person's name.
• Most importantly of all, Nature on PBS tells us the story of "A Sloth Named Velcro."

I recently saw an old photo spread of Sloth from The Goonies in his altogether on Tumblr and let me tell you that one thing a person might say about that is, "I'd shuffle his truffle," if they were, I don't know, gross. Like if you or I were Blanche Devereux that's a thing we might say, and then take a sip of a beverage or inspect our manicures, wait for some laughs. Anyway you can see his hairy Velcro butt, if you had any lingering questions about your own feelings toward his giant heart and muscles, and let's say unfortunate face, with a simple Google search. A Sloth Butt Velcro on PBS. Supported by viewers like you.

AT 9/8c.

• Couples Therapy is a good way to feel like you are in control of your shit!
• In other reality, that Million Dollar Listing: LA (aka Million Dollar Listing: Too Many Joshes!, aka Million Josh Listing: LA) comes to a crossroads in its seventh season finale and how I know that is it's titled, or possible subtitled, "Crossroads."
• There's also a special American Pickers on History Channel, the channel all about history but mostly about if mermaids are real, called "Thunderdome." Just picking through the Thunderdome, shoveling pigshit and looking for America.
• Plus maybe mermaids.
• But my money's on Esquire's The Getaway, which may cause a question mark in the air over your net-surfing head until you see the episode title, which is: "Jack McBrayer in Hawaii." A thing I didn't even know I wanted until it happened.
• Otherwise it's Criminal Minds versus SVU ("Glasgowman's Wrath," which I'm guessing means neck blood) if you are so freaky you can't decide between those two nightmare shows,
• or Red Band Society if you are super into kids slowly dying,
• or—if you are into kids dying faster than you can even keep track—there's always the magnificence that is The 100.

AT 10/9c.

• The League continues to be about football—but only in fantasy—and Chicago PD throws a "Prison Ball" (minus Halle Berry's boobs).
• Top Chef is at 12 Chefs, while a new show on Food Network called Kitchen Inferno sounds very original and unlike anything else you've ever heard of.
• For comedy we've got South Park on the power of Free and a new Key & Peele, versus Stalker which is still nothing like what you think it is.
• In other trainwreck news: I Killed My BFF on LMN is nothing compared to
• MTV's Snooki & Jwoww, now entering its fourth season, and
• The Elephant's Graveyard where has-beens go to bask in Betty White's reflected halo, TV Land, bringing back Hot in Cleveland and The Exes for a sixth and somehow fourth respective season.
• But on real TV, you've got BBC America's The Game, which looks as boring and engrossing as the best of BBC America's programming, and FX returns once again to meditate upon the wonder that is Dandy Mott in American Horror Story: Freak Show.

Still kind of haunted by last week's episode, so much so that I have taken to repeating over and over the worst things from each season so far in the hopes that it will scare away future darkness this season:

• Fire poker
• Coathanger
• Voodoo sex with snakes / Precious masturbating in front of a Minotaur (tie)
• Snuff films of the Weimar Republic

It has become something of a little prayer. I do not see fit to rank them.

AT 11/10c.

• Upon the news that Lifetime's Witches of East End finally went over the Rainbow Bridge for good, and seemingly minutes after its first-season finale, Syfy doubles down on its Australian, boy-centric version The Almighty Johnsons, or as it should be now known, Boy Witches of Cloaca Zonk.
• An hour of Girl Code on MTV versus Watch What Happens: Live with ghoulish TV Land victims Valerie Bertinelli, Jane Leeves, and Wendie Malick.
• Really, though, it's Web Therapy, which I need to catch up on.

Then around midnight Reelz has a thing about Kurt Cobain, in case you desperately need to catch up on your Kurt Cobain information. Here is my Kurt Cobain information: The moment he showed up on the cover of Rolling Stone in a t-shirt that said Corporate Magazines Still Suck I knew we had turned a dreadful corner in our culture, because that shit makes zero sense. That's when I opted out of opting out, personally. Irony was the Viet Nam of the 1990s, nobody had an exit strategy, and now look at us: If Kim Kardashian didn't exist it's Gen X that would have invented her, just like OK Cola and Elizabeth Wurtzel. Don't go out like that.

Morning Afteris a new home for television discussion online, brought to you by Gawker. What are you watching this weekend? What are we missing out on? Recommendations and discussions down below.

The Daily Mail is reporting the name—Robert O’Neill—of the retired Navy SEAL who plans to appear on Fox News and reveal that he shot Osama bin Laden. O’Neill’s father, Tom, confirmed his 38-year-old son’s identity to the Mail a week ahead of the Fox News interview scheduled to air on November 12. The Mail’s report comes two days after the special-forces website SOFREP—and an anonymous Gawker commenter—both claimed that the Navy SEAL was Robert O’Neill.

O’Neill currently works as a motivational speaker and is based in Washington, D.C. In February 2013 he was profiled in an error-laden Esquire profile, which alleged that he was denied access to proper healthcare and other veteran benefits after he left the Navy. The magazine only referred to O’Neill as “The Shooter.”

His father’s interview with Mail, well worth reading in full, fleshes out a few details of his Robert’s biography, including his Montana childhood and his entry to the U.S. Navy:

O’Neill has said the basic reason he became a SEAL was a teenage romance gone wrong. At 19 he went to a Navy recruiter’s office in an attempt to get over his lost love. But his father gave a different story in his exclusive interview with MailOnline. ‘We were going hunting and a friend asked us to take a guy who was a Navy SEAL with us,’ said Tom O'Neill, 65. ‘We were expecting someone who was 6 ft. 8 in. who could lift a house with his bare hands, but he was this normal guy. And Rob said if this guy could be a SEAL, then so could he.’

O’Neill’s plan to come out as the SEAL who shot bin Laden has not been especially well-received by the special-forces community or the U.S. military. Two members of the latter, SEAL commanders Brian Losey and Michael Magaraci, recently wrote a letter to active-duty SEALs warning them not to seek extra publicity for their military activities.

If you know any more about O’Neill’s upcoming appearance on Fox News—including the script, the contents of his interview, or any other surprises—you should email us immediately, or comment below.

Photo credit: Legal Authorities

This dashcam video of a nighttime encounter with a fake roadblock on Interstate 78 near the New Jersey Turnpike is easily the pants-shittingest thing in real life horror on the internet today, but what the hell is actually going on here?

According to the driver, Ivan Tukhtin, he grew immediately suspicious—as you do when you come across an unlit roadblock and a figure shambling through the shadows just beyond the range of your headlights—and intentionally lured the mystery man toward his window so he could drive through.

"No lights or hazards," Tukhtin wrote on YouTube. "Both lanes blocked off. Suspicious for sure, scary to think what could have happened."

Was this the setup for a carjacking? (Probably.) A plainclothes cop with a creepy walk who doesn't follow proper safety procedures vis-a-vis lights and flares on a highway after dark? (No.) A covert teaser for some Blair Witch-y new video project? (Maybe?)

The driver alerted the cops, who told him they'd look into the situation, but nothing's popped up in the news yet. All speculation and additional info welcome.

[h/t Reddit]