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Hundreds Attend Burial of Vet with No Family After Funeral Invitation Goes Viral on Facebook

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Hundreds Attend Burial of Vet with No Family After Funeral Invitation Goes Viral on Facebook

When 70-year-old James "Jimmy" McConnell passed away last month at a care home in Southsea, Hampshire, he left behind no known family members.

Concerned that staffers and a handful of friends would be the only ones to see the former royal marine off, Reverend Bob Mason, the local vicar, asked the Royal Marines Association to spread word of McConnell's funeral in the hopes that a few long-lost family members might show up.

And did they ever.

Thanks to a Royal Marines Association Facebook post soliciting mourners for McConnell's funeral, over 200 people showed up, including Royal British Legion standard bearers, a procession of flag-bearing motorcyclists, and even two Royal Marines Band buglers who performed the traditional military funeral bugle call "Last Post."

"It was mentioned wrongly that he did not have family," mourner Danny Marshall, a former Royal Marine himself, is quoted as saying. "The corps family is bigger and better than most people would know about. We are all family and always will be."

[H/T: The Daily Dot, screengrab via ITN]


Unemployment Stories, Vol. 28: 'I'm Inclined to Simply Disappear Into Silence'

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Unemployment Stories, Vol. 28: 'I'm Inclined to Simply Disappear Into Silence'As we spend the day arguing over a satirical tweet about a Hollywood awards show, more than 12 million Americans remain unemployed. Millions more have dropped out of the labor force entirely. The upcoming sequester deal could cause sharp cuts in unemployment benefits. Each week, we bring you true stories of unemployment, from the unemployed themselves. This is what's happening out there.

The other Hollywood

I am a twenty-five year old woman living in Michigan and I don't see the point in living. I did everything I was supposed to do: I graduated from high school, I went to university. I got my bachelors and I worked hard. I love to work, I have a strong ethic for it, and I'm at my best when I'm busy. But there is so little decent employment out there and I wonder what all that time and money spent on school was worth.

I got my degree in Film just when movies were starting to get big in my state. "The Hollywood of the Midwest," I heard it called. The timing was serendipitous and like most young people I felt I was destined for great things. But those film jobs were scarce and competitive— hiring only so many people in state— and no one seemed interested in a fresh grad.

It has been many months since and after an internship and a deferred paying job I didn't see a cent for, I'm back living with my folks. I'd go elsewhere for work, but I honestly can't afford it. I'd take the terrible, boring jobs so many of my contemporaries accept without complaint, but I'm so depressed over my state in life I can't seem to find the energy to care enough to survive. I have been so very lucky and blessed to have parents that support me both financially (though I wish so hard I could finally be totally independent) and emotionally. But my dad (very reasonably) said he won't continue to help after I turn 26. I know it's supposed to give me initiative to get my life together, but even with this date looming I just can't find the energy to care about self-preservation.

Lately the guilt sends me combing the web in the wee hours, searching for a soothing solidarity… so finding these volumes of Unemployment Stories is like a hand reaching out to grab hold of. But I still feel worthless. Useless. A waste of space and life. And the response to my bemoaning is almost always some variant of "I have no sympathy for you." It's like no one wants to listen and frankly I'm inclined to simply disappear into silence.

The Great Depression, part two

Over the last 10 years I have had 7 different jobs all which I have been laid off from or fired due not fitting in with the culture of the companies ideas. I have always worked hard and have tried to impress the powers that be so I could move up in the company. All I have ever wanted is to take care of my wife and kids. It never really worked out, for some reason I seemed to always be picked out of a group as the first to go if there was a firing or lay off. I never understood that, because I always tried my best never missed work never messed around, but never really buddy up with the powers that be. Each time I got laid off or fired my confidence became more and more non existing. Now I have a part time job that doesn"t pay that great and my world is crashing before my very eyes.

I am helpless to stop it. Nobody will hire me for jobs that I used to have and I have to fluff up every resume to look like I know what the hell I am doing. I have always struggled to find out who I am and what I want to do, I think this comes from being adopted and never knowing really where I came from. I never had a father figure in my life to show me how to be a father, a husband or a provider. I have been winging it my whole life. My mother was divorced twice and was always chasing my older brothers since I was the good and responsible child. I was alone and had to fend for myself. I struggled through high school like most kids, but never really thought I was college material because everyone always told me so. The only one who believed in me was my wife so four years into our marriage I had a college degree. I was working part time for a marketing company through college and they hired me full time when I graduated. It was a great time in our life my wife had just got her master's and I got my undergraduate plus daughter was about to be born. My mother came down from Utah to watch daughter while we both worked. I was promoted at work to a field manager shortly after that. It was a great time. Then we were having rolling blackouts throughout the summer I had no Idea that companies where going through difficult times. It was my first real job at thirty years old. Then in the late summer early fall I was laid off from my job. I had no idea this was coming, I just got promoted. So this was the first time in my life that I was out of work. I had always had some type of job. Seven months I had no work and watching a new baby life was different but I was working through it. I got a job working for a manufacturing company as a sales guy traveling all over the country. I loved it seeing new places meeting new people. I was making 55,000 a year! A big step up from where I had been. It was hard work always being held accountable to a guy who was younger than me and smarter than me. He had a Harvard MBA and let everyone know it. I was up to the challenge. I work there for almost two years. The company was struggling due to the fact there were two different bosses and two different visions. So the company was sold to another company within our industry. I survived the first rounds of cuts, I lasted a year there. The headquarters was in LA and we were stationed in Orange County, so after a year they let everyone go. Another setback and we just had our third baby. Life was great but disappointing that I was out of work again. Meantime my wife was working and really enjoying being a mother and having a life outside the home. This time I was out of work for almost a year and a half. I got job at Qwest software a really great company here in also Viejo; I was now making a little over 65,000 and finally thought my dream job was here. It was close, I love the people and the company culture it was ideal for me. I worked there for a year and a half, always got along with my co workers and bosses. Then it happened again, I was laid off. This was getting depressing; I mean what is wrong with me. Is it the economy? Or is it really me and I just enjoy telling my wife I am out of work again.

As the depression gets more and more severe I fall into a fog that I can't get out of. I hate myself for not being the provider that I should be, I am mad at my kids for reminding me that I am home watching them instead of working and supporting them. I am angry with my wife since she is cold and distant and un-empathic towards my feelings and depression. She wants me to take medicine I refuse, she wants me to go to a therapist but I don't want to, but when we go she doesn't want to go anymore because the doctor is not ripping me the whole time. They actually tell my wife she needs to work on things. This infuriates her and then stops going. It was my entire fault and these doctors are too blind to see it. When I got laid off at Qwest my dream job I was so depressed that I could care less who I hurt or what I said. I mean I was really hurting and nobody cared. My wife wasn't always mad at me, she never told me how sorry she was that I was hurting so badly nor did she comfort me in my darkest hours. My mother never talked to me and when she did it made me mad because she would think it was all my wife's fault. Nobody from the church came over and said how can we help or what can we do. I was alone and hurt and depressed. Not a very good environment for the wife and kids. I was always angry, I mean nobody would talk to me it was all bottled up and I was explode when I couldn't take it anymore. I was miserable to live with never knowing when I would be set off. All I ever wanted was my wife to help me and to understand the pain I was going through. My lashing out was the only way I could get her attention. I was dying a slow death and nobody cared. I was screaming for help but it was like seeing a couple fights in a store and everyone watches but does nothing. I was out of work for almost two years. Any normal person would have ended their life and been done with it.

In the last two years my wife served me divorce papers twice and filed a restraining order against me and change the locks to the house. Told me it was over and I was dead to her. This is all the while that I am in a depression that was so bad that I was sleeping in the streets for two months. Did I deserve my wife to take action; yes something had to be done to get me to realize that I needed to change. I was at a crossroads in my life. What will history end up writing about me? Was I going to give up and just end it or was I going to change a fight for the family that I love. I decided to fight, I decided change the way I acted to take my medicine and to treat My wife like a princess and the wonderful mother that she is. It was rough at first she didn't want me around she didn't want me near her. I cried everyday just wanting her to accept me back into the fold of the family unit. She wanted me to move, she wanted me out of her life. I fought it because it was worth it. I never wanted to go back to the way I was before. Finally I got a job selling copiers door to door to businesses. It was a tough job, but it was income and I was happy for the work. Things were going well between my wife and I, we went on family vacation and had the best time ever. Our relationship seemed to be healing. Then over the summer, I got fired for not selling enough copiers per month, like I said it was a tough job but I was willing to do anything to make it work. So back to no money and the pressure on my wife, and more depression to follow. Although I keep taking my medicine, it is rough. I am wondering what the hell is wrong with me. We fight more; we bicker about the stupidest things. I am so paranoid that every time that I see her talking I think she and her friends are conspiring against me. Don't get me wrong I understand why my wife doesn't want to do this anymore. Either do I, but I can't and won't give up on us. I understood why she wrote me a letter for the third time in a two year span telling me she wants out. You would think that I would get it, hey stupid she wants out of the relationship. I can't something bigger than myself is driving me to stay, to not give up...

Nobody talks about how bad the economy really is, all the media portrays is the life styles on the rich and how everyone else is doing fine in this economy. Nobody talks about what is really going on in the country that we are living in the same times as our grandparents, the great depression part two, although this time it is harder because you have everyone in the world instantly telling you that it is your fault for not being a better provider. If you can't make it with support from family and friends, then there is no hope.

Such a creature as me

Let me preface this by saying my story is not as compelling as the others I have read in your articles. I still feel I should write about it, at least as a therapeutic exercise.

As of two days ago, I am 24. I graduated high school with fine grades and was attending a 2-year college for my associate's degree when I had a minor health scare. Well, not so much a health scare as a slow decline in my physical state. I had become deformed over the past several years because of some malformed vertebrae in my spine. The result was a severely kyphotic back (hunchback) and a bowed chest. I realize I've gotten a bit off track here, but bear with me.

I stopped attending school out of shame for my appearance. It seemed that everyone around me was normal and there was just no place for such a creature as me. I was only a couple of classes short of my AA, but I was not going back. So I started applying to jobs. I figured if I could get some income going, I could at least finally move out of my parents' house. I applied all over town and never heard back from anyone. I didn't have any references or work experience so I was never seriously considered. I wasn't too upset though, because I have never had any interest in going outside. I always see normal people and become immensely spiteful.

I realize there are many people far worse off than I am, but those aren't the people you see when you have such a condition. You see the people who are making easy progress through life, buying houses and starting families. It becomes harder and harder to make an effort to apply when you know you'll just be starting at the bottom again, always working towards what they got years ago. It's easier just to wait until the pot reaches the boiling point and let yourself cook.

Working those connections

I'm writing this; in its place, I am not writing my final essay for grad school. I was moved to write after realizing that I was budgeting even my words for the day.

I just turned 27. I did everything "right": went to college, graduated with minimal debt, studied in an area that was professional (accounting, CPA track). As if that mattered in 2008, when no one was hiring. Or 2009, when I graduated into what seems now like an endless room of people my parents' age waiting for a callback. I had four years of professional experience, but that did not matter. I had paid my dues after solving every little problem for attorneys as a file clerk. Suffering actually nets you nothing, which was especially awful when I couldn't collect unemployment. I was an intern at a Big Four accounting firm; there were CPAs in line for accounts receivable jobs.

And holy hell did things turn bleak. Through social media I had built a vast network of potential business contacts. And I really mean that, despite what people think of the Internet and its noise. I knew commercial real estate agents in California, lawyers in New York, used car dealerships in Texas and medical specialists in Utah. Freaking Utah. I lost touch with some of those people, and I no longer hear from many of them. It wasn't simply a recession, where you couldn't get a job at Walmarts. In the years since 2009, it's as though some of those people died. Prospects abroad dried up and blew away and only the local connections I see face to face existed. I had never heard such silence.

I worked those connections to the bone, and it did pay off: I landed a parttime job with "fulltime" responsibilities, less pay and no benefits. But it was something on a resume I had been building since I was 17 and goddamnit, I wasn't going to stop that now.

That job was so awful, the environment so toxic, I can only say this: the high point of that experience was a potential cancer diagnosis. If I was going to die, I thought, I could just give up. No one could blame me for not having insurance; no one could ever say that I hadn't tried. And seriously, tried at what? As with everyone in my generation, there's an ever-present voice in the back of my head yelling at me for not doing better, or "trying harder" (what the fuck does that even mean?) or struggling with the guilt of loathing a job but being unable to not work.

I didn't have cancer. I lost the job to an employee's child who was going to work for free. She was more than welcome to it. I have since nearly finished a second bachelor's and am applying to grad school. I am so afraid of looking for work again. I am terrified of what I am going to find when I try to get out of my parent's basement. I have no idea what I am going to do when I complete this program with ever more debt.

Dear diary

Today, after being unemployed for three weeks and one day, I have decided that I have no future. I have no future because, I had plans and goals that have yet to be realized despite how creative I try to be, despite how many cover letter drafts I write and resumes that I revamp. I am bright, articulate, driven, motivated with decent experience and a graduate degree and yet these three confidence draining weeks point to the fact that I have no future. There is so little that I can apply for out there and even a smaller number still that I get interviewed for. Patience was never one of my strong suits but, I didn't think that after working since I was 14 and going to school for most of my life that I would not be able to land a position that required education above ‘some high school.' I have applied to, on average three jobs a day since 11/14/2012 and have gone on a total of three interviews; two of which were for jobs that I applied for in early November. One of which, was a job I had held earlier. No one calls you back after you have donated your time to an in person meeting, no one cares. I had interviewed for a job on Friday 11/30/12, a job that just feels right. The company is growing, I have a networking in and the office is so beautiful that it just speaks to me. I keep checking my phone in hopes that, they call back soon. They telephoned Monday to ask me a question regarding our conversation. The human resources director could not remember whether or not I left a prior position to pursue my graduate degree or left after receiving in. I still can't decide if that is a good sign or a bad. Hopefully, a good one – meaning they cared enough to want to have all of the facts right. I spoke briefly to my networking in and he says that as far as he knows, they haven't made a decision yet. I am going to send out formalize thank you notes in addition to the thank you emails that I have already sent. I am hoping that it sways them. I never thought that at 25, I would feel as though everything is so bleak I've searched for almost three years now to find a job in my graduate degree field with no avail. I have however spent plenty of time in retail looking for a way in and up. I did make it to department manager for a large retail chain and to assistant store manager for a smaller one. But still, I was hoping, for more based on interpersonal skills, experience and school. No such luck. I call it luck because ambition and motivation have failed. It is exhausting to be driven and go nowhere, although, I assume that would make me a great NASCAR driver. Just keep driving until the race ends, go fast, go hard. You still end up going nowhere.

They say try this job website or that. They say network. I have regularly gone to networking events since graduation in May 2010. I smile, I firmly shake hands and I give strangers my business card and resume. Not only that, I give them a piece of my desire to land a career. Floating from retail positions, only builds my resume in one direction. They don't see that I have counseled, trained and developed a team. When they see retail, they picture me with a name tag, behind a cash register, getting yelled at by some middle aged slob because I didn't fold that shirt to her liking before putting in the bag.
Here is what you should see, someone bright and ambitious. Ask me about my experience in the Academic Judiciary or as Treasurer for Student Government. See my presentation skills, in my stories about being a Teaching Assistant and running training seminars for the staff and for other building leaders. Understand, that although I fit the birth year definition of a Millennial that I am not shiftless or lazy or living off my parents with a big entitled grin on my face. Understand that the customer services that I have learned from retail, translate to being able to placate delicate situations and show that my interpersonal skills are among the better out there. Read my cover letters – specifically tailored to each position that I apply for. See that they are not only position specific but tell stories that my resume cannot. See the story about working with autistic youth or volunteering for an arts council and homeless shelter. See what I see in myself and you will see why not interviewing me wasn't a mutually beneficial decision. But, perspective employers can't see that, no matter how pressed my suit is at networking events, no matter how calm, informed and articulate I am during interviews. And because they don't see anything in me, I am starting to doubt myself and once that doubt fully creeps in, I truly will have no future.

My daughter's unemployment

This is not my unemployment story, but the toll that my daughter's unemployment has taken on me and her. I was lucky. I got a master's degree and had job security for life. A job in 30 days after graduating. My daughter has a master" degree in Library Science and is underemployed at a library that seems to be hell bent on proving that no one who works there and then earns the degree will get anywhere. She works part time. She has been working on a computer certificate and is in an internship for web design but still no offers of employment or any recognition from her employer. It is disheartening to hear more fortunate family members behave as if she is not trying hard enough. One member told me"well she isn't getting any younger." She must apply to 20 jobs a week for the past 3 years. It has made me depressed an anxious about her future to the extent that I can barely sleep some nights. I think about the waste of her talent. She graduated with honors from college and a high GPA from high school even with learning disabilities and ADHD. She was bullied throughout grade school but still fought her way through. Still no reward only criticism. I want to avoid family and friends whose children have had more luck. One friend especially rubs it in. I have lost faith in America. My father was a WWII vet disabled in the Battle of the Bulge (but he still worked all his life) and why did he do that - so his granddaughter could be treated like scum and passed over for employment.

Previously
The full archive of our "Unemployment Stories" series can be found here.

[Thanks to everyone who wrote in. You can send your own unemployment story here.]

Our Far-Flung Swedish Correspondents: Hjalmar and Alex's First Assignment

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Our Far-Flung Swedish Correspondents: Hjalmar and Alex's First AssignmentLast week, Gawker posted a job listing seeking applicants for a reporter position. Among the responses was a letter from Hjalmar Sveinbjőrnsson and Alex Bejerstrand, two under-employed roommates living in Nybro, Sweden. In addition to inquiring after work, Hjalmar and Alex provided samples of their artwork and requested several photos of the Gawker offices. We supplied them with the requested photos and encouraged them to pitch us ideas. Below is their response. Below that is an email from me to Hjalmar and Alex laying out their first assignment: A post assessing the controversy over the Onion's "cunt" tweet about Quvenzhané Wallis. We have reproduced Hjalmar and Alex's email without correcting grammar or punctuation.

Good day or morning John Cook

did you ever get teased in school over your name ?

sry had to ask but we have read your response and viewed your picture´s with great though and care that you answered us

we are honored in many ways

now just to the pictures because as I read this an my partner reviewed it !

Tom Scocca looks like someone famous, but maybe because you guys are from America and I mostly just see you in movies and one and one over-sea's student, he looks questioning but comforting some how, thank you Mr Scocca

Mr Scocca also sounds Italian

Staff fridge

As a un-employed chef BUT still keeping up daily constant professionalism I found it clean, a lot of ice that is good but it looks like you live mostly on diet off soup and soupy stuff, the milk on the top, the one marked Silk ... we have a laundry detergent that is called that in Sweden but we both have lactose intolerance so Silk would do the same in both countries, we can have that in common if you also have L I, my action partner complains about not seeing the side of the door, a lot of stuff there also to eat or put on food, like mustard

Do you guys have any guys with beards working for you?, we noticed no one there has a beard, my action partner finds it disturbing so that is another bonus to hire him also, he is my spiritual animal, I write it off as a health think now that you have enter the 21 century and gotten "free health" care, hoary for you

The rug

the rug is badly treteded, far to many furniture on it, you should let your rug run free. man.

now to the serious part of this email

A) writing for you in an formal or informal way sounds like lawyer talk, I just image you with like 2-3 lawyers behind you

I need a clearer information about that preferable through email, we would love jobs and never though I be offered one of those magical "over the internet" jobs but I am willing and so is my friend to find free time for some "serious in-definition" journalism if not and its just about filling reader space then we can both be glad we had a laugh over this but other vice "winking smiley face"

B) making c) d) and e) is not fun so gone write the rest under B)

we were thinking about our first assignment and the fact people can actually survive my writing style and wording (cant figure out how to spell fraicing?)

First is recapping of the 3 season of Girls is highly possible, first we need to rent the DVD but we send you the recite I never seen a single episode of Girls but I guess its about girls, I am trying to not use the word "homo" but I dont have a large enough dictionary to be non-offensive, but of us never watches TV, we are not sporty people though, we just have other means to comfort ourself

and we can go over Girls season 3 as I think off my self as a expert in watching shows, cartoons and anime

We are gone enter it from the fact its about girls so we are gone try to look at it from a feminine side, you want that like 1-2 pages? maybe 3 I am gone figure out who is the sexist, me or the women

Do we have any favorite black metal bands ... are you talking about wrist bands? because I dont like your tone of speech, you think all of us here in Sweden, Norway, Iceland listen to death metal all the time ?

I was in like one or two death metal bands and my flatmate has made a death metal video or 2, I dont have any stuff from my death metal years but my drummer got everyone and I mean EVERYONE to call him Cactus for all the years I knew him, pretty sure he changed his name but my action partner has a video for you guys other vice we are not into death metal or metal by Nordic scale

So ... we need something else, do journalist normally bring in there own stories or do you guys like email them?, maybe we could pick them from comments or something, I dont know, I dont want to force my self to think about something but I know I can go on and on about it

what about we write about American pop culture's and TV shows ? or Gawker readers ask us to go on quests and missions in Nordia (Our secret name for the Nordic countries, dont tell anyone)

You can post this email on gawker or whatever its okey but if you are actually looking offering me to write for you then send me an email

I have free time

No funny lines about pot smoking?, all burned out after a season and just eating cookies so "no go"

But after googling the show girls we found out that the 3 season is not out yet and we are eager for work so what were you actually suggesting, straining some funny emails from weirdos in Sweden? we need real stuff for real people, we are so pumped over here

But thanks for a interesting twist to my daily life

lets tango?

Hjalmar and Alex

P.S. I am so sorry but I forgot to send you the link to my partners music video metal making day's

Looking forward to maybe hearing from you

Alex and Hjalmar

My response:

Dear Hjalmar and Alex:

Thanks for getting back so quickly. Yes, I did get teased about my name in school. People would say things like, "Hey, cook me dinner," and "Hey, cookie, I'm going to kick your ass." My nickname in school, based on the initials of my first and middle name, was "J.J.", so I also got a lot of "J.J. Jackass" and "Jackass Jerkface."

Let's cut to the chase: The Girls recommendation was kind of a joke. We've gotten some criticism in the past for our treatment of that show and it's creator, Lena Dunham, so we thought it would be funny to raise the idea of you guys recapping it in your voice. But you're right, Season 3 is a year off so let's come up with something you can do right now.

Here's a tryout: The Oscars were last night. It's a big movie award show here in the states. You know about it I'm sure. Did you watch? One of the Best Supporting Actress nominees was Quvenzhané Wallis, an adorable 9-year-old girl who starred in Beasts of the Southern Wild. Wallis is precocious and basically universally beloved; she showed up at the ceremony carrying a purse made out of a cute stuffed animal and everyone swooned.

Last night the Onion, a satirical newspaper here in the states, wrote this joke on Twitter: "Everyone else seems afraid to say it, but that Quvenzhané Wallis is kind of a cunt, right? #Oscars2013." That upset a lot of people. "Cunt" is regarded as a really intense insult in the U.S.; it's seen as automatically and radioactively misogynistic. The point of the Onion joke was clearly that it's comically absurd to apply a word like that to such an adorable creature, and that—given the universal admiration for Wallis—it takes an amusingly cruel and inhumane asshole to regard himself as the only one with the courage to malign a 9-year-old girl. In other words, for the purposes of the tweet, the Onion adopted the character of a hateful misanthrope—something it has repeatedly done throughout its 25-year history—for comic purposes.

A lot of people got very upset, very quickly. Using Twitter, they castigated the Onion, interpreting the tweet as actually calling Wallis a cunt. The Onion took the tweet down within the hour, and this morning issued an unreserved apology, calling it a "senseless, humorless comment masquerading as satire." The writer or writers responsible are being disciplined.

That hasn't stopped people from continuing to express outrage over the joke, which is being called racist and sexist.

What do you think? Do you think it was funny to begin with? Do you think it should have been taken down? Do you think people are missing the point, or taking themselves too seriously? What do you think of the role Twitter played in fomenting the controversy? How would a joke like this go over in Sweden, or Iceland? Do people tell jokes there?

Why don't you guys write that up—a post on the Onion/Quvenzhané Wallis controversy and what you think about it—and we'll go from there. Don't be afraid to express your opinion(s) forcefully. Make them pointy. We'll pay you $100 if we publish it. If we like it, we'll come up with some assignments that get you out and about on the streets of Nybro.

I'm not sure what time or day it is where you are, but if you want to do this, please try to do it quickly.

Best,

John
john@gawker.com

Internet Raises Nearly $150k for Homeless Man Who Returned Woman's Lost Engagement Ring

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Internet Raises Nearly $150k for Homeless Man Who Returned Woman's Lost Engagement Ring

A woman who had her diamond engagement ring returned to her by a homeless man after she accidentally dropped it in his change cup says she likes the ring even more now.

"I actually feel like I'm especially lucky to have this ring now," Sarah Darling of Kansas City, Missouri, told CNN. " I loved it before. I loved it so much, but I love it so much more now. I feel like it has such great karma."

Darling's ring ended up in Billy Ray Harris's possession after she dumped the entire contents of change purse into his cup, having forgotten that it contained her engagement ring which she removed due to a rash on her finger.

Retracing her steps back to Harris, Darling asked the man if he had something of value that belonged to her and was shocked when he immediately forked over the ring.

"It seemed like a miracle," she told KCTV. "I thought for sure there was no way I would get it back."

To reward her homeless savior with his share of those good vibes, Darling and her husband Bill Krejci launched an online fundraiser on his behalf.

Within days, the couple's page at giveforward.com had racked up nearly $150,000 in donations.

Darling and Krejci plan to hand the money over to Harris when the fundraiser ends in 80 days. By then, Harris could very well be a full-fledged millionaire

KCTV tracked Harris down to ask him what he made of the fundraiser and all the attention surrounding his good deed.

"I like it, but I don't think I deserve it," Harris told CBS affiliate. "What I actually feel like is, 'what has the world come to when a person who returns something that doesn't belong to him and all this happens?'"

[screengrab via giveforward]

Last Year, J.C. Penney Employees Watched More Cat Videos Than Is Humanly Possible (Almost)

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Last Year, J.C. Penney Employees Watched More Cat Videos Than Is Humanly Possible (Almost)On Monday, the Wall Street Journal ran an article about the bewildering fall of J.C. Penney, a $17-jean store named after a small denomination of legal tender that tried to rebrand itself as a fancy boutique by refusing to put items "on sale."

But before the rebranding shook up corporate structure, mostly what employees did was watch cat videos:

During January 2012, the 4,800 employees in Plano had watched five million YouTube videos during work hours, said Michael Kramer, a former Apple executive brought in by Mr. Johnson as chief operating officer.

Let's break this down.

5,000,000 videos total ÷ 4,800 employees ≈ 1042 videos per employee (per month)

This means that, on average, every single J. C. Penney employee was watching over one thousand videos per month. It is also possible that one J.C. Penney employee was watching five million videos per month.

1,042 videos per month ÷ 21 workdays ≈ 49 videos per day.

49 videos per day ÷ 8 hours in the average work day ≈ 6 videos (per hour)

This means that, on average, every 10 minutes an employee of J.C. Penney would drop what he or she was doing to watch a video on YouTube. This employee would, say, write an email, then stop writing the email, then watch a YouTube video. After that, the employee would finish writing the email, go to the bathroom, then come back and watch a YouTube video. The employee would download a PDF of sales figures, refresh his or her email, read the first two pages of the PDF, and then watch a YouTube video.

Hour after hour would zoom by in a blur of "Let me get started on this project," and YouTube videos.

"I don't know where the time goes," the employee would think, 5 minutes after watching a YouTube video. Then, five minutes later, the employee would watch a YouTube video.

In 2010, an analysis of 2.5 million YouTube videos (half as many videos as were watched in the J. C. Penney headquarters), found that the average length of a YouTube video was 4 minutes and 12 seconds. Now, revise the calculations.

An employee clocks in at 9:00 a.m. and, ten minutes later, takes his first YouTube break of the day. After watching a 4 minute video, he gets back to work. The time is now 9:14. At 9:20, it's time for another YouTube break. The employee continues to work in 6 minute spurts until close.

Amazingly, Penney's employees' marathon viewings of "Sneezing Baby Panda," did not impact profits nearly as much as the store's insane attempts at rebranding.

[Wall Street Journal // Image via Shutterstock]

Professor Accidentally Leaves Projector On While Watching Porn During Class (NSFW)

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Professor Accidentally Leaves Projector On While Watching Porn During Class (NSFW)

Surfing porn sites at work is always tricky business, but probably never more so than when you're a university professor checking out PornHub inside a classroom on a computer that's hooked up to a working projector.

A daredevil professor at Wageningen University in The Netherlands figured that finding that perfect skin flick for later was worth that risk, and proceeded to visit the X-rated video site on the same computer he had just used to lecture a class full of students on Advanced Food Chemistry.

With the blood having rushed away from his cranium in a hurry, the professor, who was visiting from Belgium's Ghent University, apparently forgot to disconnect the computer from the overhead projector.

Though the classroom was empty at the time, students viewing the lecture online were able to learn more about their professor's porn tastes than they likely expected.

A screengrab of the extracurricular activity was brought to the attention of university officials, and the professor was asked to leave.

His afterschool activities notwithstanding, students spoke well of the professor, telling a local tabloid he was "an excellent teacher."

(And for the record, this is what he was watching when he got busted.)

Professor Accidentally Leaves Projector On While Watching Porn During Class (NSFW)

[H/T: Reddit]

Janet Jackson Secretly Married a Qatari Businessman Last Year

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Janet Jackson Secretly Married a Qatari Businessman Last YearTired of all the rumors that were not flying around regarding her wedding, Janet Jackson surprised the world today by announcing (apropos of nothing?) that she and obscenely wealthy Qatari businessman Wissam Al Mana have been married since last year.

"The rumours regarding an extravagant wedding are simply not true. Last year we were married in a quiet, private, and beautiful ceremony. Our wedding gifts to one another were contributions to our respective favourite children's charities. We would appreciate that our privacy is respected and that we are allowed this time for celebration and joy. With love, Wissam and Janet"

This is Jackson's third marriage. The last time she married someone, she didn't tell anyone about it until they got divorced nine years later.

Jackson, 46, met Al Mana, 37, at a hotel opening in Dubai in 2010. He is the managing director of Al Mana Luxury, a Qatar-based retail company that represents labels like Hermès, Stella McCartney, and Agent Provocateur.

In other words, Janet Jackson's new husband is super rich and her life is very great right now and has been for some time and she just wanted to make sure you knew that.

[Janet Jackson // Image via Getty]

Assemblyman Dov Hikind, King of One-Way Sensitivity, Partied in Blackface Yesterday (UPDATE)

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Assemblyman Dov Hikind, King of One-Way Sensitivity, Partied in Blackface Yesterday (UPDATE)Dov Hikind is the asshole New York assemblyman representing District 48, a swath of concrete in Brooklyn that includes Midwood and Borough Park, a famous Orthodox Jewish enclave in the borough's southwest quadrant. Hikind is an Orthodox Jew himself. To celebrate Purim this year, marking the deliverance of the Jewish people from extermination in ancient Persia, Hikind threw an elaborate costume party. Hikind's wife dressed as a red-faced demon and his son painted a yin-yang symbol on his face, reportedly to look like an "angel." And Hikind himself, the 62-year-old elected representative from one of the world's most diverse cities? Why, he went as a basketball player, in Afro and blackface, of course.

Reports the Observer's Hunter Walker, Hikind had "a lot of fun" turning what could have been a totally innocent holiday party into a minstrel show:

"I was just, I think, I was trying to emulate, you know, maybe some of these basketball players. Someone gave me a uniform, someone gave me the hair of the actual, you know, sort of a black basketball player," Mr. Hikind explained. "It was just a lot of fun. Everybody just had a very, very good time and every year I do something else. … The fun for me is when people come in and don't recognize me."

Hikind went on to say that his costume, which draws on centuries-old blackface performances designed to undergird white supremacy, was done "all just in good fun with respect."

Despite the efforts of white folks who should know better, blackface has been unable to convey fun or respect for quite a while now. And Hikind's career to this point has not been a particularly inspiring study in how to live with difference. Brooklynites may remember some of his other greatest hits:

In both 2005 and 2009, Hikind introduced a failed "anti-terrorism" fearmongering bill in the assembly that would have allowed police officers to stop and search citizens based on their ethnicity, a law one might think a Jewish person would find a bit unsettling when put in historical context, but alas. Besides that, New York City police already stop people all the time based on their race, which makes codifying that sort of behavior seem like a particularly bad idea.

In 2006, when a group of Orthodox Jewish teenagers swarmed on a Pakistani Muslim man, calling him a "terrorist motherfucker" and beating him with their limbs and brass knuckles, Hikind publicly condemned the Pakistani man saying it was he who had provoked the Jewish boys. A few weeks later, four out of the five boys charged in the attack would plead guilty to assault.

In 2007, Hikind said this of gay marriage: "If we authorize gay marriage in the state of New York, those who want to live and love incestuously will be five steps closer to achieving their goals as well."

In 2009, Hikind fought to exclude the five million people besides Jews killed by the Nazi regime from Brooklyn's Holocaust memorial. "These people are not in the same category as Jewish people with regards to the Holocaust," Hikind told the New York Post at the time. "It is so vastly different. You cannot compare political prisoners with Jewish victims."

In 2010, Hikind spoke at one of three New York memorials to commemorate the 20th anniversary of the murder of Meir Kahane, the American-Israeli political activist who founded the Jewish Defense League. Kahane advocated the forceful removal of all non-Jews from Israel and the barring of Jew-gentile intermarriages and sexual relationships. At one of his memorial rallies, attendee Josh Davis was quoted as saying, "Had we paid heed to Rabbi Kahane's message of expelling the malignant Arab population back in the early 80s, we would not be at the verge of extinction." The Southern Poverty Law Center now includes the Jewish Defense League on its list of hate groups.

But Hikind isn't totally insensitive to ethnic slights. Earlier this month, when the New York Post decided to gin up outrage about the supposed resemblance between fashion designer John Galliano's outfit and Hasidic dress, the assemblyman obliged:

"Who is he mocking?" added Brooklyn Assemblyman Dov Hikind. "The way the socks look, the jacket, the peyos ... My question is, who's he laughing at?"

Jeez, great question, Dov. Now, on behalf of the hundreds of thousands of black people who live in Brooklyn, here's the same question: The way the black facepaint looks and the Afro wig, my question is, who the fuck are you laughing at?

And why haven't you quit your job yet?

Update: Hikind has offered an apology along the lines of the classic "sorry you were offended" defense, according to the New York Daily News:

"My wife was dressed as the devil. And she's not a devil. It was to look different on Purim without deep intentions. I just wanted to look different and unrecognizable," Hikind said.

"I understand people's sensitivities. Nobody meant anything. It was not meant to offend you or hurt you in any fashion. I'm sorry people were offended. It was not meant that way."

[Images via Getty/Facebook.]


Soldiers Deployed Overseas Far More Likely to Be Unemployed When They Come Home

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Soldiers Deployed Overseas Far More Likely to Be Unemployed When They Come HomeNew veterans—those who left US military service recently—have higher unemployment rates than both older veterans and civilians, according to a new research paper from the Chicago Fed. Even taking into account the age and education level of new veterans, "neither demographics nor simply being a new veteran by themselves can account for the rise in relative unemployment rates for new veterans," the paper says. "Instead, our results suggest that prolonged deployments overseas account for much of the difference in unemployment rates between recent veterans and nonveterans."

First, the significant gap in unemployment between recent veterans and others:

Recent veterans have fared relatively poorly in the labor market during and after the Great Recession. As figure 1 shows, veterans who had recently served in the military had higher unemployment rates than older veterans and nonveterans over this period. The three-month moving average of unemployment peaked for recent veterans at 13.9 percent of the labor force. The unemployment peak for nonveterans was 9.2 percent, while the peak for older veterans was 7.9 percent. Unemployment remained high for recent veterans throughout most of this time, before falling sharply in 2012. In contrast, during the previous recession and subsequent "jobless recovery" (early 2001 through late 2003), unemployment rates for recent veterans and nonveterans were nearly identical.

And, perhaps most notably, the Fed's hypothesis that overseas deployment itself (rather than macroeconomic conditions at home) is the cause of this phenomenon:

Being a new veteran when the percentage of service members deployed overseas rises by 1 percentage point predicts a 7 percentage point increase in the probability of being unemployed. Thus, once we control for all factors, extended wartime deployments, not the effects of the Great Recession, appear to account for the relatively high unemployment rates among recent veterans.

So during wartime, we not only send soldiers off to risk their lives in battle; we vastly increase their chances of unemployment when they get home.

How about guaranteed jobs back home for war veterans? They could, say, rebuild our nation's crumbling infrastructure.

[Chicago Fed. Photo: AP]

Top Level Chinese Official Misses Flight, Goes Apeshit on Boarding Desk

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A top level government official from China who missed his flight not once but twice took his frustrations out on the boarding desk — and the entire unfortunate episode was caught on CCTV cameras.

According to authorities, the Chinese People's Political Consultative Committee member, since identified as Yan Linkun of Shizong county in Yunnan Province, arrived with his wife and two kids at Changshui airport with plenty of time, but a long breakfast caused them to miss their flight.

The airline staffers were very accommodating, and managed to put the family on another flight leaving later that day.

However, they ended up missing that flight as well after Yan apparently failed to hear flight's boarding call.

Yan demanded he be allowed to board anyway, but was denied. It was then that he became violent, tossing around computer equipment, and attempting to shatter the door to the boarding gate with a sign.

After surveillance footage of the incident went viral in China, Yan, who is also the vice chairman of the Guangdong Yunnan Mining Company, was forced to release a statement saying he was sorry for having lost his temper.

He exxplained that he was merely trying to get his kids to their school in Shenzhen.

"I failed to be a qualified political adviser as well as a good father," he said in his statement. "My irrational actions and rudeness have caused some losses to the airport as well as bad effects to the public, so I sincerely apologize to the airport and public. I am willing to compensate."

According to Global Times, Yan has been suspended from the Yunnan Mining Industry Company, and a police investigation has been launched. He is also expected to be disciplined by the Party, though the exact nature of the discipline was not disclosed.

[video via Beijing Cream]

Bonded By Blood: A Girls Recap

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Bonded By Blood: A Girls RecapThis episode of Girls is called "Video Games" but don't get too excited, geekboys, because it's actually about Jessa's relationship with her estranged father. Jessa, fetishized by most as the wisest of all the Girls, takes an impromptu road trip to Manitou to visit her father after receiving a mysterious text from him that, after Hannah's deduction, was probably a butt-text. "That's really mean," Jessa says to Hannah. They're cooped at the train station for hours, because Jessa's father is always late. Hannah has to piss, but the Manitou train station has no toilet. We also learn that Hannah has a UTI. Hannah is skittish about pissing in public but oh the burn.

"I heard the best way to treat it is to stick garlic up your pussy."

This may be true for women, but the best way to get rid of a UTI for a man is to stick your penis into three or four pieces of soft white bread soaked in cranberry juice.

When Jessa's father finally arrives, we find him scraggly haired and aloof, the station wagon is stuffed with old computers. He refuses to throw them away because he's afraid people will steal his ideas. So he's that guy. Or is he?

The purpose of this episode is to give the audience some background on why Jessa is so w/e about life. The answer: Daddy Issues, which most girls of a certain age find themselves spending a good portion of their lives trying to overcome. His new wife, Petula, is played by Rosanna Arquette, who is all hempy and spiritual, the type of role it feels like she's played in every movie since Desperately Seeking Susan. Jessa's not a fan of Petula. Not really an issue, though.

Throughout this episode, for all his odd vagabond foreign-ness Frank, is actually blameless. Jessa, it turns out, for all her bottle-dropping hot-pussy chaos and flowy sundresses, does not have her shit together at all. This is hinted at throughout but here's the pivotal interaction on a rickety swingset in the backyard between Jessa and her father that seals it:

"Everything. You disappearing for months on end and. Why you couldn't do one single thing you say your gonna do? You act like you want me here. You don't even know how to have a conversation with me."

Frank defends himself. Says something squirmy and accusatory about Jessa's own flakiness. But Jessa counters, whines, almost sobs, even:

"I'm the child. I'm the child."

I haven't spoken to my father in a productive way in months, since my mother got sick, and I don't know why. Throughout most of my childhood, he was the enemy, just a towering presence whose sole function was to intimidate and dictate on his non-work hours. He was gone most Friday nights all of my life and it didn't dawn on me to ask where he was, ever, because it seemed off-limits. Still haven't asked. He was probably just out, doing his thing, taking the allotted time away from jobs and parenting and the suckiness of life. He was the enemy, my mother, the hero. Somewhere about halfway through college the dynamic shifted, and the man I'd feared for most of my life somehow became my best friend. We were no longer father and son, but humans, accepting of differences but always cautious of toeing the line between father and buddy. We've been at odds with one another since about October. I took time off from Gawker to go home and help him out with my mom, to do the dutiful thing and circle the wagons like a family does during a family crisis. Most of the time was spent hanging out with him. We played a lot of golf while my mom sat in a chair staring at the television, waiting for us to come home to tell her what to do next. Halfway through my stay I realized how shitty everything really was. Not just with her illness but the full significance of the insignificance of my time spent there. One day my father and I went out to lunch together at a tacky suburban Italian restaurant trying very hard not to be one. "I've never loved your mother more in my life," he said to me. Then something inside me snapped. Because he was lying.
Because he was just trying to pat himself on the back for doing laundry for her. Because he heard that line probably in a Nicholas Sparks novel. At least that was my interpretation. Whether he meant it or not it felt so hollow and self-serving but the soup came before I could stab him with the butter knife. Instead, I cut my sabbatical early. I was supposed to see them again for Thanksgiving. I bailed and went to Cairo. They found out when I landed, just like practically everyone else in my life, including most of the staff at Gawker. I called him when I got back, safe and sound. He told the rest of my family I was in Los Angeles. We spoke, cordially at first, but then the tone in his voice flatlined and there I was, 12 years old again, getting scolded. So I unloaded on him then ended the conversation with this line: "And if you ever say that you've never loved her more in your life ever again I'm gonna knock you the fuck out." Then I hung up, like a child. We've had sporadic awkward truces between us but it came to a head last week after this farewell piece put the stuff out there that was meant to stay under wraps. My father left a voicemail message. I only heard a portion of it before I deleted it, because, again, I'd heard that voicemail message so many times before so fuck that melodrama. And fuck you guys, too. I'm about to take a hammer against a tree to sweat out this boozy anger. XO, AJ.

But that's the thing about Jessa, what we realize and she realizes, is that the daddy issues can only last for so long before they can only become Jessa issues. Her father's estrangement is no longer the cause of all this drama. It's just an excuse. As Hannah sits on the toilet, writhing about as the dagger-pee leaks out of her, she's calling out to Jessa that her UTI, is most assuredly, back. Hannah is all packed and ready to go and calls out to Jessa that it's time to go but there is only a note left on the bed:

"See You Around My Love, X"

Jessa, just like her father, decided to bail early because that's who she is and, you know, YOLO. At the train station, Hannah calls her parents. After a weekend of watching the kooky, sad relationship between Jessa and her father, Hannah feels compelled to call her parents to thank them for being, well, parents. But Hannah's mother doesn't buy this sincerity and interprets the call as manipulative — because she's a parent and knows better. On the other end of the phone, Hannah squats in pain on the railroad tracks, still pissing daggers with no one else around.

[Image by Jim Cooke]

That Searching for Sugar Man Beat How To Survive a Plague at the Oscars Is Such Bullshit

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That Searching for Sugar Man Beat How To Survive a Plague at the Oscars Is Such BullshitMalik Bendjelloul's Searching for Sugar Man, which won Best Documentary Feature at last night's Academy Awards, is a puff piece that exists to deify its subject, Sixto Díaz Rodríguez. It is less a documentary than a montage of fawning over this American folk musician who released two albums in the early '70s, only to be ignored and then rediscovered by South Africa. We hear that he was bigger than Elvis and the Rolling Stones there, that he moved 500,000 copies of his debut Cold Fact there, that he's "like a wise man prophet" with "a genuine quality that all poets and artists have to elevate things." Someone says, "Bob Dylan was mild [compared] to this guy."

Based on evidence in the movie his music seems...OK? Not quite the no-brainer star-making stuff that the film is bent on persuading you it is. So much of Sugar Man's exposition is subjective. Even the 500,000 sales figure is delivered as an estimate from one talking head and then presented as the truth for the rest of the film. It's all meant to manipulate the viewer into incredulousness: How could an artist so perfect have gone ignored in America? Surely we live in a world that delivers rewards to all who are talented and deserving.

Rodríguez's frequently underscored humility only makes him more god-like. One of his daughters tells the story of him refusing to sleep on a king size bed when he finally made his heralded way over to South Africa to play a show ("He didn't think someone should have to make a bed because he messed it up"). Another chokes back tears as she tells of his work as a day-laborer that would find him coming home covered in paint chips or at work, carrying refrigerators on his back. One of his colleagues with a particular flair for drama says Rodríguez approached this work, which he took up after he was dropped from his label after the release of his second album, as "a sacrament."

All that Searching for Sugar Man reveals is obvious: not every appreciated person is appreciated sufficiently. And the record industry screws people over. Rodríguez apparently received no profits from his South African sales and the former owner of his record label starts cursing when questioned in what must be the rawest footage here. The people of South Africa actually believed an urban legend that Rodríguez killed himself onstage after getting a poor reception; they were later shocked to find out that he was still alive, as is revealed midway through the movie right after a journalist dictates how you should feel about what you're about to see: "The best part was still to come."

"That sort of thing does not happen in the natural universe. It's against the laws of god and nature," exaggerates journalist Rian Malan on Rodríguez's resurrection. And just in case you still don't know how to feel by the end, after Rodríguez is discovered, flown out to South Africa to play a triumphant show, there is commentary from one of his daughters: "It is a grandiose story. It sounds like something you'd make up if you were bragging on some dream or something." Who needs a review when this movie reviews itself for you?

Searching for Sugar Man's presentation of Rodríguez feels dishonest even before you investigate what was left out: A tour of Australia in the late '70s with Midnight Oil that led to a live Rodríguez album. Including that fact, of course, would have made his resurgence of popularity about a decade later seem less special. Though we hear from his children, we never learn of the women Rodríguez made them with. Why? A lack of time or would exploring his relationship(s) have somehow made him seem less perfect? No one, no one, has anything less than fawning praise for this guy. This is a news magazine segment stretched out to a feature-length EPK. It believes that the most important things are fame and fortune and that people are entitled to them. Every shred of potentially interesting cultural information, such as Rodríguez's outspoken politics providing an outlet to whites who were against apartheid but lived in fear of their government to do anything about it, is glossed over to get to more fawning. In the end, this is a celebration of someone whose music simply failed to connect with its intended audience but found another. In this regard, Rebecca Black is a fascinating person. Where's the documentary about David Hasselhoff's supposed musical success in Germany?

That is not to say that Searching for Sugar Man's Oscars victory is surprising. It isn't. I know people like having their spirits massaged, their heartstrings plucked, their minds made up for them. I know that the Oscars are mostly meaningless trophies that come wrapped up in politics. I know that crying about another film not getting its due is not unlike the whining Bendjelloul et. al. do in Sugar Man regarding Rodríguez's obscurity. However, it is clear to me that How To Survive a Plague, a masterful patchwork of hundreds of hours of archival footage and new interviews that was also nominated for the Best Documentary Feature award, was robbed.

David France's documentary works like an actual documentary as it presents a balanced view of its subject, the AIDS advocacy group ACT UP. In Plague, we see that ACT UP was flawed, disorganized, prone to disruptive behavior and capable of being completely, detrimentally wrong. It respects you enough as a viewer to decide when you think the people of ACT UP went too far in their attention-grabbing displays. The film achieves the unlikely task of creating an ultimately uplifting story about AIDS' so-called plague year by relating how a subjugated group of people — gay men in the '80s and '90s — saved themselves (along with a slew of allies) from extinction.

True objectivity doesn't exist and certainly Plague is a tribute, but where filmmaking and reporting are concerned this movie is infinitely more sophisticated than Sugar Man. Where storytelling is concerned, Plague is human story, not a fairy tale, and it's all the more amazing as a result.

British Hospital Sued After Surgeons Remove Wrong Testicle From Cancer Patient

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British Hospital Sued After Surgeons Remove Wrong Testicle From Cancer Patient

Having a cancerous testicle removed is probably a stressful enough procedure; there's the actual surgery in a sensitive, important part, not to mention the life-threatening disease if the procedure fails. So odds are the 48-year-old Wiltshire man who went in for surgery last June to have a cancerous testicle removed was already worried before he awoke from surgery to discover a nightmare scenario come true: Surgeons at Salisbury District Hospital had removed the healthy testicle instead of the cancerous one. So the Wiltshire man made the appropriate decision to sue the hospital, citing concerns that the botched surgery might have ruined his ability to have children.

"The matter is in the hands of my solicitor," the man told the UK's Metro. "She is about to issue proceedings now. I have no other comment to make."

According to Metro, doctors realized their mistake after 40 minutes and froze the removed testicle while a plastic surgeon rushed to the scene to try and reattach it. But the reattachment surgery was unsuccessful.

For its part, the hospital accepted some blame in a statement, calling the incident "regrettable."

"We have received notification from solicitors of pending legal action. This is a regrettable incident, and the trust once again offers its sincere apologies to the patient," Salisbury NHS Foundation Trust said in a statement to the local Salisbury Journal.

[NY Daily News//Image via Shutterstock]

Homophobic Family Values Group Accuses GEICO Pig Commercials of Promoting Bestiality

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Homophobic Family Values Group Accuses GEICO Pig Commercials of Promoting Bestiality

The "advocacy group" One Million Moms is at it again. The group/collection of homophobic trolls, best known for protesting JCPenny not once but twice, has recently carved out a bizarre niche market for themselves by accusing popular commercials of promoting bestiality. Last year, it was Skittles; this year, it's GEICO, for the insurance company's creepy commercials in which a pig spends time with a young woman in a convertible. As ABC News describes the commercial:

The car has just broken down, and Maxwell uses his mobile GEICO application to locate a tow truck. The woman seems frustrated that the tow truck will arrive so quickly, as she asks, "Oh, so that means we won't be stuck up here for hours, with nothing to do?" The pig brushes off her advances.

Sexy, right? And definitely dangerous for children. So dangerous, in fact, that it might make make kids attracted to pigs, or something like that, according to Monica Cole, the director of One Million Moms.

"It was just a pretty sleazy type of commercial because the girl [in the commercial] was really disappointed when she realized they wouldn't be able to pass the time alone together," said Cole.

The One Million Moms' website states that the organization's goal is to stop the entertainment media's exploitation of children.

"Kids are drawn to animals. That's normal. Animals are cute.  That's why movies have animals that play the lead roles and the main parts," said Cole. "And it may be over their heads in terms of understanding the meaning behind it, but there's a big concern when kids are being desensitized to this kind of thing."

And this isn't the first time GEICO has tried to force its pro-animal fucking way on the kids. "A bridesmaid was flirting with the gecko in a different commercial, so this is just becoming a norm for GEICO it seems," Cole said.

Right. GEICO, to their credit, hasn't responded to the group's insane complaint, though Cole noted they receive responses from companies about half of the time. Of course, considering how thoroughly they were shamed by JCPenny's excellent response last May, OMM might want to reconsider their strategy.

Remembering C. Everett Koop's Groundbreaking, Controversial AIDS Introduction Brochure

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Remembering C. Everett Koop's Groundbreaking, Controversial AIDS Introduction Brochure C. Everett Koop, who died today in New Hampshire, did a lot throughout the course of his 96 years, including play football at Dartmouth, help put into motion the war against second-hand smoke, and launch an ultimately failed medical website, DrKoop.com, in the primeval internet age of 1997. But Koop, who also moonlighted as a spokesperson for the Life Alert company, will perhaps be most remembered for introducing millions of Americans to—and destroying stereotypes about—AIDS, the deadly disease that started to rear its head in America the year before he took office in 1982.

AIDS continues to be a go-to anti-gay talking point for zealots like the Westboro Baptist Church, but in its earliest days the conversation around the illness was inundated with that kind of ignorant bigotry. Reverend Jerry Falwell once told his congregants, "AIDS is not just God's punishment for homosexuals, it is God's punishment for the society that tolerates homosexuals." And wackjob political activist Lyndon LaRouche called for the quarantine of all AIDS patients, saying, "[A] person with AIDS running around is like a person with a machine gun running around."

In an effort to help cut through a lot of the bigoted nonsense, in 1988 Koop authored an informational pamphlet called "Understanding AIDS" and mailed it to all 107 million households in the United States. Despite his personal Christian conservative beliefs, Koop's pamphlet dispatched a lot of paranoid misinformation swirling around AIDS in favor of frank talk about sex and prophylactics. For instance, while "Understanding AIDS" advocated abstinence and monogamy as "safe behaviors," it also heralded condoms, recommended early childhood sex education, and suggested Americans do whatever they could to help AIDS patients in need "without fear of becoming infected." What's more, all of this came during a time when President Reagan himself would hardly mention AIDS, let alone say "the rectum is easily injured during anal intercourse," as "Understanding AIDS" noted.

Koop would suffer criticism from his fellow conservatives for putting out "Understanding AIDS." Some of them would be scandalized by his support of condoms, and others by his support of sex education. But ultimately Koop was steadfast, believing that educating the public about AIDS was the best defense against the disease in lieu of a cure. Today, California Democratic Congressman Henry Waxman, whose district includes the heavily gay West Hollywood, said Koop "saved countless lives through his leadership in confronting the public health crisis that came to be known as AIDS." "Understanding AIDS" was a big part of that confrontation.

[Image via AP]


Man Sues Parents for Not Loving Him Enough, Seeks $200,000 and Two Domino's Pizza Restaurants in Damages

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Man Sues Parents for Not Loving Him Enough, Seeks $200,000 and Two Domino's Pizza Restaurants in Damages

Like most of us, Bernard Bey knows the root of his problems: his parents. Unlike most of us, however, the 32-year-old Brooklyn resident is seeking compensation for the damage his parents caused; earlier this month, Bey filed a self-written lawsuit in a Brooklyn court, accusing his parents of physical and emotional abuse, which led to him feeling "unloved and beaten by the world."

"If you have kids, you're expected to love your children," Bey told NBC 4 New York. "You want the best for your children."

Bey said his parents are to blame for his current unemployment and homelessness, which were triggered by having to enter the shelter system at 16. He filed the lawsuit to help not just himself, but his future children.

"I feel like my parents should want the best for their children and grandchildren so we have something to pass down for generations so we don't have to live like this," he said.

So what's he asking for? Just a six figure settlement plus a pizza franchise or two.

Bey is asking the court for more than $200,000 in damages. He wants his parents to mortgage their family home and purchase two franchises like Domino's Pizza.

His parents were, as you might expect, not thrilled when asked for comment.

Bey's parents, who live in public housing, said they're not in a position to give up any money. His stepfather named in the suit, Bernard Manley, had some choice unprintable words and maintained Bey is not his biological son.

But there is some hope that the matter can be resolved without further legal action, but only if his family agrees to sit down to dinner with him.

"Let's work together, and definitely, I'll drop the suit," Bey said.

[via the NY Observer]

Accused Teen Killer Confesses to Sex on Victims' Bodies

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Accused Teen Killer Confesses to Sex on Victims' BodiesEighteen-year-old Alisa Massaro confessed to having sex with her boyfriend, 24-year-old Joshua Miner, on the bodies of two men that Joliet, Ill. police say the pair killed in January, according to the Joliet Patch (yes! The Joliet Patch!), which has obtained police reports detailing the accounts of the four suspects in the deaths of Terrance Rankins and Eric Glover, both 22. Glover and Rankins were killed on January 10, allegedly when Miner, Massaro, 19-year-old Adam Landerman, and 18-year-old Bethany McKee lured them inside a house and strangled them to death.

According to the reports, Miner was inspired by a girlfriend who'd said she'd fantasized about necrophilia:

Miner [asked] girlfriend Alisa Massaro to have sex with him on the corpses of two men he's accused of helping to kill, police said.

Massaro "made a smirk on her face" and said she didn't want to, according to the reports, but when being questioned by police, she "later acknowledged she and Josh did have sexual intercourse on top of the bodies.

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All four are facing first-degree murder charges. The cops found them playing video games at Massaro's house, where they'd robbed and killed Rankins and Glover; according to police reports, they'd attempted to dismember the bodies. And that's not all:

"McKee related that during the night that Josh wanted to put the bodies together, which they did, side by side and they put something over the bodies, which was beige in color and they were going to have sex on top of the bodies," a report said. "McKee relates that she did not stick around for that ..."

McKee also told police Landerman may have been involved, too.

"McKee did relate that she thought Adam and Alisa had sex because they were talking about having a three-way on top of the bodies that were laying on the floor," a report stated.

The Joliet Patch says it will publish a second installment in its "Nightmare on Hickory Street" series later today.

[Patch]

According to a New Survey, Republicans Turn to Olive Garden For Quality 'Ethnic Food'

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According to a New Survey, Republicans Turn to Olive Garden For Quality 'Ethnic Food' Not even a delicious breakfast spread can unite a country. Public Policy Polling has released a survey covering how basic food preferences divide along party lines. PPP questioned 500 registered American voters from February 21 to the 24th, through automated phone calls.

While Democrats prefer bagels (34%) or croissants (32%), Republicans much prefer to eat donuts (35%). Moving onto lunch time, Democrats prefer KFC to Chick Fil A (39% to 18%) while Republicans prefer the latter (48% to 29%). For carbonated beverages, Democrats prefer a full-calorie soda (47% to 31%), while Republicans prefer diet soda (42% to 34%).

And for opinions on exciting new cuisine? Republicans narrowly voted that Olive Garden is "a quality source of authentic ethnic food" (43% to 41%), Democrats narrowly disagreed (41% to 44%) - but just barely though.

[Public Policy Polling, image via Getty]

Downton Abbey Is Adding a Black Guy

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Downton Abbey Is Adding a Black GuyDownton Abbey? More like Show About a Black Person Abbey. Looks like everyone's favorite program about dramatic white people (of the non-Real Housewives variety) is set to introduce its first black character in the upcoming fourth season.

According to The Sun, casting notices were sent out earlier this month in search of an actor — a blacktor — to portray the character of Jack Ross, a jazz musician whose talent for music is only equaled by his talent for being black.

According to the notice, Ross will be a singer at "an exclusive club in the 20s." He will be between the ages of 25 and 30, as so many were back then, and also "black and very handsome." He will be "a real man (not a boy) with charm and charisma," "able to sing brilliantly," and "have a certain wow factor."

But what will be Usher's role at Downton itself? Will he be a love interest for cousin Rose, whose curly hair denotes that she is a wild flapper? Will he replace Mrs. Patmore as Downton's cook? Just how far will Daisy's eyes bug out of her head when she sees a black person for the first time? Will he marry Lord Grantham?

Jack Ross (Blackjack Ross?) isn't the only character joining the cast next season. The show is also adding a Very Boring Person: 35 to 45 years old; "good looking"; "warm and charming but also a strong man with morals" and a drunk ("must be able to act drunk").

Last November, creator Julian Fellowes said he hoped to introduce black or Indian roles into Downton Abbey "to open it up ethnically a bit," because Lena Dunham hadn't written enough black characters.

[The Sun // Image via PBS]

Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer Installed a Nursery in Her Office

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Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer Installed a Nursery in Her Office Last Friday, Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer pissed everyone off when she banned her employees from working remotely. Yahoo's working mothers were particularly disgruntled by this change of policy, especially because they don't think that Mayer understands their needs (even though Mayer is a working mother herself).

Mayer famously took her position at Yahoo while six months pregnant and had her baby last fall. However, unlike other Yahoo employees, she is able to bring her child to work to the nursery she paid to have built in her office.

This is not something available to all Yahoo employees, especially those with less money or clout (Mayer earns $117 million over five years). According to Business Insider, some Yahoo employees have indicated that their attempts to bring children to work would probably not be so well received.

Mayer's policy is not only meant to prevent distraction or slacking off, but also to increase human interaction, communication and collaboration. Yahoo's practices of working from home are not standard at other similar companies like Google or Facebook.

The memo banning working from home indicated that employees needed to be working in the Yahoo offices by June. Some ex-Yahoo employees confessed that Mayer is smart to make this ban. They acknowledged that there a significant amount of abuse of this policy at Yahoo. Working from home is so embraced by the company, that the company store sells refrigerator magnets that read "WFH" (work from home).

[Business Insider, image via AP]

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