After spending more than a decade in the notorious detention camp, six Guantanamo Bay prisoners have been transferred to Uruguay for resettlement, the Pentagon announced in a statement today.

All six men were detained in 2002 for suspected ties to terrorism but none was ever charged with a crime. Following a review of their cases by the Obama-ordered Guantanamo Review Task Force, the associated agencies unanimously approved the prisoners for transfer.

According to the BBC, "around half" of the 136 detainees still held in Guantanamo have been cleared for release, but, as refugees, have nowhere to go.

Uruguayan President Jose Mujica—who himself was imprisoned for over 12 years as member of an urban guerrilla group—first offered to receive the detainees in March, saying, "They are welcome to come here."

On Friday, President Mujica repeated his call in an open letter to President Obama, writing, "We have offered our hospitality for human beings who suffered an atrocious kidnapping in Guantanamo."

[Image via AP Images]

On Sunday, North Korea denied being behind last month's massive Sony Pictures hack, dismissing the connection as a "wild rumor," but sure thinks that those who are responsible (whoever they might be) are pretty rad.

DPRK state media—which has mostly stayed silent on the subject of corporate cyber attacks—had nothing but praise for the anonymous, definitely not North Korean hackers who targeted the studio behind The Interview, an upcoming Kim Jong-un assassination comedy it had previously called an "act of war."

"We do not know where in America the SONY Pictures is situated and for what wrongdoings it became the target of the attack," said a North Korean military spokesman in a statement published today. "But what we clearly know is that the SONY Pictures is the very one which was going to produce a film abetting a terrorist act while hurting the dignity of the supreme leadership of the DPRK."

"The hacking into the SONY Pictures might be a righteous deed of the supporters and sympathizers with the DPRK in response to its appeal," he added.

On Friday, a group claiming responsibility for the attack sent a mass email to Sony employees, writing, "Please sign your name to object the false of the company at the email address below if you don't want to suffer damage. If you don't, not only you but your family will be in danger."

[Image via AP Images]

Attendees of Midwest FurFest—Illinois' premier convention for people who like dressing up as anthropomorphic animals—were forced to flee a suburban Chicago hotel in full costume after it was hit with a seemingly deliberate chlorine gas leak.

19 people were sent to the hospital Sunday morning after the third alarm chemical leak was discovered near the 10th floor of the Hyatt Regency O'Hare. According to CBS Chicago, police described the leak as "consistent with an intentional act" and are currently investigating it as a crime.

However, not everyone was concerned. "We have a lot of costumers out here with big fluffy costumes that'll keep people warm," one fur fan told Chicago's WBBM, "so at this point we're not worried."

[Image via WBBM-TV]

A Pennsylvania district attorney said prosecutors will not seek the death penalty against a man accused of killing his stepdaughter, in part because a videotape of him sexually abusing her corpse corroborates his version of events.

According to Northampton County District Attorney John Morganelli, the disturbing video supports the story of 53-year-old Gregory R. Graf, who reportedly told police he had sex with victim Jessica Padgett after she was dead.

Explains The Morning Call:

Under Pennsylvania law, a murder in perpetration of a felony is an aggravating factor that allows prosecutors to pursue capital charges. Rape rises to that level, but the sexual desecration of a corpse does not, as case law has established, Morganelli said.

"It is not a capital case. We've reviewed the aggravating factors," Morganelli told President Judge Stephen Baratta during a court hearing Friday morning involving Graf, his first public appearance since his arrest.

Padgett first went missing on November 1, just two months after marrying husband Mica Padgett. Five days later, her body was found buried on the property Graf and the victim's mother shared.

[Image via Northampton County Prison]

Is this screaming giraffe—found at "a knockoff toy store" for just $10—possessed by the Devil as the original uploader suggests? Or is it just so full of holiday cheer it can't help shrieking like a thousand dying banshees?

It's hard to say for sure, but whether your judgement falls more on the side of Santa or Satan, may you have merry EIEEEEIEEEE and a happy AANAANAAAA.

[via Reddit]

A passenger jet landing at London's Heathrow airport had an extremely dangerous near-miss with a drone, investigators say.

According to a new report out this week, a 180-passenger Airbus A320 was beginning its descent toward a Heathrow runway this summer when a pilot noticed a "helicopter-style" drone flying nearby. The drone was not visible on air-traffic controller screens and police were unable to determine who was flying it.

Experts say the effect of hitting even a small drone could be devastating, pointing to the 2009 Hudson River emergency landing, caused by a plane hitting a flock of geese, as an example of the risk.

Britain's Civil Aviation Authority gave the incident an A-rating, meaning investigators assessed a "serious risk of collision," the BBC reports.

The secretary of the British Airline Pilots' Association, Jim McAuslan, says it's only a matter of time before something serious happens.

"Unless we put in place the regulation now and have enforcement procedures that are practical in operating efficiently then we are going to see an accident," he told Sky News.

[image via Shutterstock]

This week Mark Wahlberg filed a petition seeking to have a 1988 assault and robbery conviction permanently cleared from his record. But what of Marky Mark's other youthful indiscretions?

The Crime

The Massachusetts Attorney General sued Wahlberg and two friends, Michael Guilfoyle and Derek Furkart, in a 1986 civil rights action. The suit alleged that Wahlberg—then 14—and his buddies yelled racial slurs and threw rocks at schoolchildren. The incident began when they noticed three black children walking home from school. Via the Smoking Gun:

As they were walking, defendants Michael Guilfoyle, Derek Furkart, Mark Wahlberg, and another white male began to follow them on bicycles. One of the defendants said to the Colemans, "We don't like black niggers in the neighborhood so get the fuck away from the area." The group of white males then chased the Colemans, using their mopeds.

During the chase, the group of white males yelled, "Kill the nigger, kill the nigger," and each threw a rock at the Coleman brothers and sister.

According to the suit, Wahlberg and his friends spotted the children with their teacher, a Mrs. Deshaies, out on a field trip the next day. Wahlberg and his friends allegedly yelled racial slurs and again threw rocks at the children. Two girls—one black student and one white student—were hit in the head. Wahlberg was also accused of throwing a bag of rocks at another white female student. The teacher had to summon an ambulance, which eventually "chased the defendants away from Mrs. Deshaies and her students."

Wahlberg agreed to a final judgment by consent, settling the case without admitting any guilt. He also made an agreement not to assault, threaten, intimidate or harass people because of their race, violation of which would result in criminal charges.

The Crime

This is the incident detailed in Wahlberg's pardon application. In 1988, Wahlberg, now 16, attacked a Vietnamese man named Thanh Lam who was walking down the street with two cases of beer. Via the Smoking Gun:

Wahlberg was carrying a large wooden stick, approximately five feet long and two to three inches in diameter. Wahlberg approached Thanh Lam calling him a "Vietnam fucking shit," then hit him over the head with the stick. Thanh Lam was knocked to the ground unconscious. The stick broke in two and was later recovered from the scene.

After police arrested Wahlberg... he stated: "You don't have to let him identify me, I'll tell you now that's the mother-fucker who's head I split open," or words to that effect.

But Wahlberg committed a second assault before police caught up to him, court documents say. As he fled from Thamh Lam, he ran into a second Vietnamese man, Hoa Trinh.

Wahlberg ran up to Hoa Trinh, put his arm around Hoa Trinh's shoulder, and said: "Police coming, police coming, let me hide." After a police cruiser passed, Wahlberg punched Trinh in the eye, causing him to fall to the ground.

Police arrived and Hoa Trinh identified Wahlberg as the person who punched him. Wahlberg was placed under arrest and read his rights. Thereafter he made numerous unsolicited racial statements about "gooks" and "slant-eyed gooks."

Trinh was permanently blinded in one eye. Wahlberg, who also had marijuana on him, was arrested for attempted murder and eventually pled guilty to two counts of criminal contempt. Though 16 at the time, he was charged as an adult and received a 90-day sentence, of which he served 45 days.

The Crime

In 1992 20-year-old Wahlberg, now famous as Marky Mark of Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch, wrote a memoir. He dedicated it to his penis.

The Crime

In 1992, Wahlberg managed to avoid criminal charges for assault and battery when he reached a settlement with the victim just days before the trial was scheduled to begin. The victim, a 20-year-old security guard named Robert D. Crehan, said Wahlberg kicked him in the face repeatedly while Wahlberg's bodyguard, Derek McCall, held him down.

Crehan, who later had to have his jaw wired shut, said he was "satisfied with the [unspecified] settlement and didn't want to pursue the case any further."

Misc. Crimes

Wahlberg also claims he "stole cars, rolled rich kids and was freebasing cocaine by age 13," which he played up in a 2010 60 Minutes segment.

Asked if he was a good thief, Wahlberg told [Lara] Logan "I was pretty good. I was pretty good. I was pretty daring."

A rare positive influence for Wahlberg was [Father Jim] Flavin. The street punk and the parish priest struck up an unlikely friendship. Flavin saw a glimmer of Wahlberg's future one day during one of Wahlberg's many appearances in court before a judge.

"He was just pouring it onto the judge, you know, 'I'll never do it again.' You know, 'I'm sorry,' and he was wonderful. You know, he started tearing up, and the judge just melted and said, 'All right, you know, this'll be it.' And he turned around and started out. And he looked at me and winked. And I said, 'You little bugger. That was an Academy Award performance in the court room,'" Fr. Flavin remembered.

"Father Flavin says that he could barely see you over the steering wheel when you were driving around, waving at him from stolen cars," Logan told Wahlberg.

Now a successful actor, producer, and director, Wahlberg's only recent assaults on unsuspecting members of the public have aired on HBO. In his pardon application, he emphasizes his charitable endeavors—many of which involve at-risk kids—and says his past has prevented him from working with law enforcement to further those efforts. Wahlberg, a restauranteur, also notes he's had trouble obtaining a California concessionaire's license because of his record.

[image via AP]

After being held in solitary confinement for more than four months, Washington Post reporter Jason Rezaian was formally charged with "unknown crimes" in a Tehran court today.

It's still unclear what Rezaian, who holds a dual Iranian and American citizenship and worked as the Post's Tehran bureau chief, was arrested for last July. The charges, the Post reports, are still unknown to anyone outside the courtroom and Rezaian has not been permitted to speak to the lawyer his family hired. Rezaian's wife, Yeganeh Salehi, who was arrested with him and released in October, is reportedly the only person allowed to visit.

After around 10 hours in court, Rezaian was denied bail and returned to prison. The Post says it could be as long as a month before the court even sets a trial date.

[image via Twitter]

A Seattle cop who broke a handcuffed woman's eye socket when he punched her in the face "acted professionally," local prosecutors say.

The incident occurred on June 24 when Officer Adley Shepherd arrested 23-year-old Miyekko Durden-Bosley during a domestic violence call. Durden-Bosley was reportedly intoxicated and "verbally abusive" outside her boyfriend's apartment, prompting his mother to call the police. When Shepherd attempted to place her in the patrol car, Durden-Bosley—who was drunk, unarmed, and handcuffed—kicked him in the face. In response, Shepherd punched her in the face, fracturing her right eye socket.

Although the incident was caught on video, Shepherd—a nine-year veteran on the force—won't be charged with any crimes.

Last week King County Prosecutor Dan Satterberg announced his office would not be seeking charges against Shepherd, saying the officer had "acted professionally and with restraint up to the point where he was kicked in the head by the suspect as she was being placed in the patrol car." He also explained why he felt Shepherd's conduct didn't amount to excessive force.

"Officer Shepherd reacted instantaneously to the kick by the suspect, who was wearing boots, with one punch to the suspect's head which caused a fracture of an orbital socket...While officer Shepherd may have had other options or alternatives, we have concluded that we would be unable to prove that officer Shepherd's use of force was criminal."

Shepherd has been on paid administrative leave since June.

[image via KTLA]

An incredibly inept BMW driver got trapped in a snowy parking lot hell of his own making last week. The resulting surveillance video is a profound lesson in expectations—just when you think this guy couldn't possibly get boxed in again, he goes and does it.

Police in Canada say they're investigating the five-minute hit-and-run bonus round. Adding a further sad layer to the strange parking lot ice capades was the fact that the BMW driver actually got help from his unsuspecting hit-and-run victim, who ended up guiding the driver out of the parking lot.

So you've probably heard about how some guy—naturalist Paul Rosolie—was planning on having himself be eaten (alive!) by an anaconda on TV. The very special episode of Eaten Alive aired on the Discovery Channel last night, and while Rosolie had to abandon his mission before any part of him was actually devoured, the 15-minute ordeal is sufficiently traumatizing.

Rosolie, recounting his tumble with the snake, told the Telegraph, "When I went up to the snake, it didn't try to eat me right away. It tried to escape. And when I provoked it a little bit, and acted a little more like a predator, that's when it turned around and defended itself."

For about eight minutes (embedded above), Rosolie struggles with the snake biting and constricting him, before he calls in his team (embedded below) to rescue him.

So he didn't get eaten—he just got attacked. Snakes are not interested in your stupid television show. People on Twitter, as they are wont to do, were not happy about it.

WAIT THE SNAKE DIDN'T EVEN EAT THE GUY? I've been #EatenAlive by exactly as many anacondas as the host of this ridiculous show?

— David Shiffman (@WhySharksMatter) December 8, 2014

I guess calling this "Getting Squeezed Really Hard" didn't sound as enticing. #EatenAlive

— Bobby Frasor (@BFrasor) December 8, 2014

Hey @discovery, can I have my own show? #EatenAlive pic.twitter.com/OLEZykn1sx

— BarstoolTrent (@BarstoolTrent) December 8, 2014

Leonardio DiCaprio's Best Summer Ever never ended, apparently. The cargo-shorted, "newly single" actor has been living it up in Miami this past week for Art Basel, and on Saturday night, he reportedly took home 20 human women from the club.

An eyewitness tells The New York Daily News that at "popup version of 1 Oak at Rec Room in South Beach," Leo "left with 20 girls. Leo and 20 girls. He is my hero."

I wonder what they did when they all went home. Leo doesn't appear to own a house in Miami, so was it a bring-20-women-through-the-hotel-lobby situation? Or was he staying with friends? Were the women friends? It'd be interesting to know the logistics here. If you are one of the 20 women who left the club with Leo on Saturday, feel free to email me at allie@gawker.com.

The eyewitness did mention that the other men in the club couldn't handle the ladies with any sort of finesse, which is probably why they all went home with Leo. "The Jonas brother (Joe) looked scared," the source said, "like he was going to drown and suffocate in the women. His face was hilarious."

Leo's life is for only for Leo.

[Leo on a Miami balcony via Splash News]

In the spirit of being a decent person, Kandi decides that, given the high level of conflict within their group, the Atlanta Housewives should get together for a nice peaceful meal and mend their fences. Which leads to the question…has she ever actually seen this show?

Housewives dinners are notorious for, well, ladies screaming at each other, even more acutely than they usually do on this franchise. People flip tables, they get in altercations with e-cig smoking psychics, they have mental breakdowns while eating organic gummy bears and referencing Al Sharpton, they hear that someone wants to "take the Beadors down" and lose their minds. To put it mildly, it's a scene, always.

Kandi must have had some inkling of what was coming when she visited Phaedra to invite her to the dinner and eat some of Phaedra's famous "guacamoooolaaaaay." (Side note: I can never truly dislike Phaedra in large part due to the verve with which she pronounces words.) It turns out that Apollo hasn't said anything directly to Phaedra about his confession to lying about Kenya, and Phaedra has her own opinions on the matter: "Like she paid Walter, or tried to pay Walter, trying to rent the African man, she paid Apollo to try to clean her character up. So, I don't believe it." Phaedra clearly hates Kenya MORE than she hates Apollo, which at this point is saying something.

Upon hearing that Kenya started crying when she heard the theory that Apollo is lying about lying, Phaedra busted out with what I consider her signature quote, "Lord Jesus, fix it." The Lord in turn was like, "I think I'm just going to leave this one and see what happens naturally."

At the dinner, Kenya brings up the Apollo situation pretty much as soon as everyone's there. She feels vindicated, and wants the others to allow her to have the benefit of the doubt. As you may have expected, she's up against a tough crowd, as Phaedra said a prayer including the words, "We come against whores, we come against liars" before Kenya arrived, and Nene's initial reaction to getting the invite was, "I don't need to apologize to Kenya cause I never called Kenya a whore. Now I ain't saying she ain't one, I'm just saying I ain't never called her that. No."

At the dinner, Nene maintains her position that she never said anything at all about the Phaedra/Kenya/Apollo situation, because she never cared. She hates Kenya for completely independent reasons! For her part, when Kenya calls her out for muttering under her breath, Phaedra says loud and clear, "I called you a whore and I called you a slut because if it look like a duck, it quack like a duck, and it's yellow swimming in a pool, please, it's a duck." That is…not an apology. Still, Kenya says that she forgives Phaedra, and Phaedra says that the slate is clear and clean, even though it's obviously not. But basically I think Phaedra is just exhausted and the producers probably told them to move on so we'd have time to get to Nene screaming.

So, former BFFs Nene and Cynthia have been at odds for a little while now, and the crux of the issue REALLY is the fact that Nene's awful. There were little incidents along the way that turned Cynthia off—Nene's behavior at Kenya's wack charity event, the fact that she called Peter a bitch—but overall I think it's just the cumulative effect of Nene being horrible. For her part, Nene didn't care for the fact that Cynthia didn't try to hash out their issues one-on-one, but rather brought them up at the reunion in what Nene saw as a bid to be relevant.

Cynthia thinks it's BS that Nene claims she doesn't know what went wrong in their relationship. And then as she starts to say, "If you were such a great friend…" Nene just goes off. Her extended soliloquy starts with, "You know I'm a good-ass friend, bitch," which certainly set a tone for the whole thing, and she eventually gets so heated that she has to dab her face with two napkins. The other ladies note that Nene didn't let Cynthia get a word in, which is one way of winning an argument. What's clear is that Nene is MAD about this. She and Cynthia were real friends, with a friendship contract and all, and Nene never thought that Cynthia would take her damn friendship and throw it away in front of people who could care less about it. The previews next week show a tearful Cynthia saying she wants to continue to be friends, because Cynthia essentially is a masochist.

There was one moment of peace during the dinner, when the ladies' mouths were too full of disgusting stale crackers for them to truly argue.

Did Don Juan plan this dinner? Maybe Kandi really should fire all of her staff.

Meanwhile, it might behoove Kandi to stop playing peacemaker and focus on issues closer to home, such as the fact that Mama Joyce's boyfriend wrecked her old house under the guise of doing "renovations." And was there not a record needle scratch sound effect in your head upon hearing the news that Mama Joyce has a boyfriend? How has this not been explored in greater depth?!?!

In any case, the house in question is the one that Kandi had initially given to Mama Joyce when she moved, although Mama Joyce never actually lived there. Probably because it's all torn up! Kandi has since bought Mama Joyce another house, and says she's going to hold Mama Joyce to her word that the mysterious boyfriend will fix up the old house so it's in good enough shape to sell. Todd points out that there are never consequences to Mama Joyce's actions, and per usual Kandi doesn't like him talking about her mom. Kandi also has a meal with awesome Old Lady Gang aunts Bertha and Joyce, who would like Joyce to get together with Todd's mom, Sharon, and work out their differences.

I would recommend an attractive platter of stale crackers to keep things peaceful. In sad news, Sharon passed away suddenly last week. She was a real spitfire, and probably the only person who could really go toe to toe with Mama Joyce. Judging from the previews, Sharon will have at least one more appearance on the show this season.

And finally, though Claudia is too new to have been included in the Stale Crackers Dinner of Doom, she hangs out a bit with Kenya (who she says may be cray-cray and occasionally ashy, but is not a liar or a whore) and we learn about difficulties she had growing up biracial. Claudia and her mom, who is Italian, have a difficult relationship and have never actually said, "I love you." Claudia's Italian mom and grandmother on her black side are coming to town soon, and if there is to be any emotional conflict over stale crackers I'm sure the cameras will capture it for our enjoyment.

Next time: There's more Nene and Cynthia, Derek J. is accused of being a hair burglar and seeks Phaedra's legal counsel, and Todd's mother Sharon threatens to punch Mama Joyce in the face because she is not scurrrred. RIP to that!

[Video and images via Bravo.]

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Rapper Earl Hayes shot his wife Stephanie Moseley and then himself in their Los Angeles home yesterday in what cops are calling a murder-suicide. Hayes's friend Floyd Mayweather apparently watched the tragedy unfold on FaceTime. Now, TMZ is reporting that Hayes may have been jealous over his Moseley's alleged affair with Trey Songz.

According to TMZ, Moseley, a VH1 actress and professional dancer, was involved with Songz two years ago:

Sources connected with Hayes tell us ... around 2 years ago he separated from Stephanie because of what he says was her affair with Songz. They got back together but, as one friend put it, "He was crushed and never got over it." We're told he frequently brought up Songz.

Yesterday, TMZ reported that Hayes was angry Mosely cheated with a "famous singer."

Songz tweeted his condolences, but he hasn't commented on the rumors.

R.I.P babygirl. Once an angel on earth, now watching over us from Heaven. You'll b missed but never forgotten. Love

— Trey Songz (@TreySongz) December 9, 2014

[Photo via Getty]

NYPD shot and killed a man early this morning after he allegedly stabbed a student praying in a Brooklyn synagogue in the neck with a knife. "I will kill the Jew! I want to kill the Jew!" one witness claimed hearing the assailant scream before attacking the student.

Police from the NYPD's anti-terrorism unit arrived at the Chabad-Lubavitch World Headquarters in Crown Heights around 1:45 a.m. Tuesday, the New York Daily News reports. Twenty-two-year-old Levi Rosenviat was praying when he was reportedly stabbed by Calvin Peters, 49.

In cell phone video that first surfaced on Israeli news site 0404, police can be seen, their guns trained on Peters, ordering the suspect to put down the knife. Peters initially complies, but picks the knife back up. "Drop the fucking knife!" cops yell before eventually firing one shot and hitting Peters—he died at Kings County Hospital hours later. Rosenviat is currently in stable condition.

[Image via Wikimedia]

Sure, the techniques that brands use to advertise themselves have reached Minority Report levels of dystopian profiling and intrusiveness. But are they intrusive enough? Aren't there any more of your senses that advertisers can exploit for their own nefarious ends?

Oh I know: smell. You just don't come across a lot of ads these days that you can smell. Sure, brands can bombard you with TV ads and online ads and video ads and print ads and billboards and endorsements and sponsorships and direct mailing and product placement. But what do those brands smell like? You don't know. And that's the tragedy.

Fortunately, Ad Age reports, "scent marketing" is the popular new frontier in How America Slowly Loses Its Mind In The Name of Prosperity. You love walking into a casino or teen-centric clothing store and being unwillingly enveloped in a fine mist of cheap cologne—why not replicate that experience everywhere?

As brands continue to search for innovative ways to distinguish themselves, scent marketing is becoming another tool in their arsenals. "We're where music was 15 years ago," said Roger Bensinger, exec VP of AirQ by Prolitec, which works with Abercrombie & Fitch, Hard Rock Hotel & Casino and Giorgio Armani, among others. "You wouldn't walk into an established retailer today without some sort of music playing, but that wasn't the case 15 or 20 years ago. You can walk into a beautifully designed space, and it's rendered meaningless if there's a bad smell or an absent smell."

The Parthenon is meaningless... no smell.

[Photo: Flickr]

Two British tourists received the thrill of a lifetime Monday night when they were allowed to interrupt Beyoncé and Jay Z's private conversation as the Carters took in a basketball game in Brooklyn.

What did the two couples talk about when they met one another?

Probably meeting one another, and how nice it was to meet one another.

One thing's for certain: Bill and Cathy Cambridge of London, UK will return home with a heck of an interesting story to tell their friends (dogs).

Also: this woman fell in love with Beyoncé.

[Images via AP, Getty]

The Pizza Underground, a pizza-themed Velvet Underground cover band featuring former child star Macaulay Culkin, is a joke in the sense that they sing Velvet Underground songs with lyrics about pizza and have the kid from Home Alone on tambourine and kazoo. But it's also serious, iin the sense that they went on tour and made this music video.

Director Adrian Arredondo loosely based it on the Velvets' "Waiting for the Man" video, except with 40 of the cheapest, grossest pizzas in New York stuck to the walls of the set (and to the band's faces) after they'd been sitting out overnight. It smelled, reportedly, like shit.

The whole thing was shot on VHS, as an homage to the format in which we all watched this scene for the first time:

Previously, Culkin also recorded himself eating a slice of pizza in the style of Andy Warhol eating a hamburger. He's very dedicated to the bit.

The Pizza Underground, who have one song—an 8-minute medley—went on tour earlier this year. Crowds for their first three shows were skeptical, but were eventually won over.

"In an eight minute set it took them about six minutes to get into it. By the seventh minute we had them in the palm of our hand," Culkin told Vice.

[h/t Uproxx]

Perhaps feeling frisky after performing at the very grown-up event that is the Annual Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, Ariana Grande revealed a sexual preference to the only virgin in attendance, Ed Sheeran. According to Sheeran, Lil' Ari looked him in the eye during the show's finale and confessed, "I love big black balls."

Sheeran revealed Ari's revelation to a radio host, because people have been making fun of him for looking like gleeful hobbit in photos from the show.

you might think you're happy, but you're not ed sheeran standing in the middle of victorias secret models happy pic.twitter.com/JSTfrXHItT

— niamh conway (@Snev_) December 3, 2014

Sheeran's explanation for his uncontrolled smiling is as follows:

Can I tell you why I was laughing? Basically there were all these big inflatable bouncy black balls that are bouncing around in the crowd on the finale bit. Ariana Grande comes up and stands up next to me and just looks at me and goes, "I love big black balls." In my head I was like, "If she knows what that means then I love her, and if she doesn't know what that means, it's even better!"

She knows what that means.

No need to throw a most heinous fit, dude. Check it out: Keanu Reeves himself totally swept up your lost credit card in a most spectacular fashion outside of the Daughter of God wrap party on Friday night. Bogus to bodacious. No way? Yes way!

Page Six has the excellent story:

While the bash was in full swing, a mysterious voice on a microphone interrupted the music: "Hey, Don Jonas! I found your credit card outside, come see me and I'll return it."

Turns out it was Reeves, who'd found the card on the ground.

A most outstanding gentleman, coming through in a totally odious party situation! A stellar reminder to be excellent to each other, always.

[image via Getty]