Things just keep looking up for the Windsors, the workshy reality TV stars of BBC's Monarchy. Less than a week after the plucky clan met America's King and Queen, pictures of their newest little benefit scrounger have gone viral, showing up on People, the Huffington Post and even BuzzFeed!

According to The Guardian, the recently released Christmas photos were taken outside the public housing estate the Windsors share with countless others.

At just 17 months old, young George already bares a striking resemblance to his welfare queen gran.

And if you want more pics of cutie dole babies, don't worry—parents Will and Kate already have another little moocher on the way.

[Images via Twitter/The Prince of Wales]

Above, a time-lapse video from today's Millions March in New York City. The footage was taken at 29th Street as protestors marched up 6th Avenue.

Marches were also held in Los Angeles, Atlanta, St. Louis, Chicago, and Washington, D.C.

North Korean authorities presented an American man to media on Sunday morning who said he had crossed into the country illegally but had not been put into custody, the Associated Press reports. He is seeking asylum in Venezuela.

Arturo Pierre Martinez, 29, was raised in El Paso, Texas. Martinez's mother, Patricia Eugenia Martinez, told CNN that Martinez has bi-polar disorder and had attempted to reach North Korea once before. He was stopped while attempting to swim across a river from South Korea and returned to California, where he was placed in a psychiatric hospital.

"Then he got out," she told CNN. "He is very smart and he got the court to let him out and instead of coming home to us he bought a ticket and left for China. He took out a payday loan online and left for China."

Martinez delivered a 4,000-word statement wearing a suit and tie at a press conference he said he had requested, hosted at the People's Palace of Culture. The statement was later published by the North Korean government's official Korean Central News Agency, according to the New York Times. Martinez thanked the North Korean government for not detaining him for the illegal act of entering North Korea, and criticized the United States for its human-rights violations.

On Tuesday, the United Nations voted overwhelmingly in support of a resolution to recommend that North Korean leaders be prosecuted for crimes against humanity by the International Criminal Court.

Martinez condemned police brutality in the United States, the war in Iraq, and economic stratification, CNN reports."He also warned of 'extremely dangerous and subversive technologies' related to U.F.O.s," the New York Times reported.

[Image via AP Images]

On Sunday, former Vice President Dick Cheney appeared on NBC's Meet the Press to variously claim that the CIA's torture program wasn't torture, that he'd do it again "in a minute," and that 9/11 was the real torture.

He also defended the forced rectal feedings detailed in this week's shocking Senate report (and denounced by one physician as "sexual assault masquerading as medical treatment"), saying, "I believe it was done for medical reasons."

According to Cheney, the CIA "very carefully avoided" practicing torture-torture, telling NBC's Chuck Todd, "Torture is what the al Qaeda terrorists did to 3,000 Americans on 9/11."

"There is no comparison between that and what we did with respect to enhanced interrogation," said Cheney, comparing the two unalike acts.

[Image via NBC]

Saturday Night Live made host Martin Freeman reprise two roles at once last night, and because Martin Freeman is very talented he did just that, returning to The British Office, which is what it is officially called, in the character of Bilbo Baggins.

This is actually quite a good conceit, because in The Hobbit Bilbo Baggins does indeed return to the domestic boredom of The Shire after his adventure to the Lonely Mountain—just as Frodo and his friends would years later!—and Bilbo's post-quest tristesse dovetails nicely with British Jim's workplace ennui.

That having been said, it doesn't really make sense for Gandalf to make a Lord of the Rings joke in this context. It's not wrong, per se, but it's just kind of a stretch.

[Image via Hulu]

Between all the backbiting, panicking, ass-kissing, gossiping, and ass-covering found in the vast trove of Sony leaks, a lone gem of positivity stands out: A celebratory email from Channing Tatum to his 22 Jump Street team. He writes email like a dog with a stick wags its tail.

The message is part of a thread between Tatum, Jump Street co-star Jonah Hill, Sony Pictures co-chair Amy Pascal, and other studio execs. They've just received opening weekend numbers from their buddy cop flick, and the news is very good: 22 Jump Street has come in second on the list of best-ever opening weekends for R-rated comedies—displacing Seth MacFarlane's Ted. Or, as Tatum puts it: "F YOU TED !!!! SECOND OF ALLLL TIMMMMME BEEEOTCH!!!!":

On Jun 14, 2014, at 2:19 PM, "33& out inc C/O FULTON & MEY" <[EMAIL REDACTED]> wrote:

F YOU TED !!!! SECOND OF ALLLL TIMMMMME BEEEOTCH!!!! COME ON JUMPSTREETERS WE GOT CATE BLANCHETT WIT DIS BOX OFFICE BITCHES!!!!!!!! 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22 Jump Street grossed over $190 million in the United States. According to other leaked emails reported in the Wall Street Journal, Sony is considering merging the Men in Black franchise with the Jump Street franchise, an ambitious reimagining that Tatum's Jump Street co-star Jonah Hill describes as, no joke, "clean and rad and powerful."

Photo via Getty

After stealing $10,000 from her grandmother's sock drawer, an 11-year-old Arkansas girl reportedly gave a cab driver $1,300 to drive her to a 16-year-old crush who lived over 800 miles away.

"I said I need to go to Jacksonville, Florida," Alexis Waller told Little Rock's KARK-TV, "He's like, 'do you have money' and I'm like, 'yes.'"

From the NY Daily News:

"According to the information that I have, she was in a sweat suit with a lot of makeup and she looked like she was 17 or 18 years old," said Ellis Houston of Greater Little Rock Transportation Services, which runs the city's Yellow Cab service, the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette reported.

The driver was not charged and isn't in any trouble at work, Houston said. "Maybe he lacked a little bit of judgment," he added.

But before she was able to complete her journey, police used cell phone records to locate the precocious preteen and pull the taxi over.

Waller had met the boy on vacation two years ago. According to police, he was not aware of her plan.

[Image via KARK-TV//h/t Uproxx]

Whether we're sharing a pack of gum or just slashing our boss's tires, aren't we all, in some small way, Batman? Perhaps, but in a different, vastly more significant way, Michael Keaton is Batman and the rest of us are just waiting to be rescued.

Asked recently if he was envious of Ben Affleck, who stars as The Dark Knight in the upcoming Batman v Superman, Keaton reportedly told Variety, "No," adding, "Do you know why? Because I'm Batman. I'm very secure in that."

On Thursday, Keaton was nominated for a Golden Globe for his performance in Birdman, another cowled crime-fighter he's presumably pretty sure about being.

[Image via Warner Bros.]

Last week, we learned the sad news that Kandi's mother-in-law, Miss Sharon, passed away suddenly after a stroke. In this week's episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta, we learned that one of her final acts was threatening to punch Mama Joyce in the mouth should the two encounter each other again.

So, first of all, RIP, which actually means "rest in peace" and not "revel in punches," though I hope that Miss Sharon gets whichever afterlife she prefers. And second, Miss Sharon has a point! Sure, she may be emboldened by being on her home turf in the Bronx AND enjoying a few margaritas, but the fact is that Mama Joyce called her a PROSTITUTE on TV. And not just meaning "prostitute" as a throw-away insult. Mama Joyce said that Sharon was ACTUALLY a prostitute, like, professionally.

Sharon's first response to this was a spirited, "I ain't never been no prostitute. You know what? Check my resume." Which was SO "Show me the receipts" that I almost fell off my couch. Sharon is certain of two things: 1) She's not scared of Mama Joyce (that makes one of us!); 2) Mama Joyce has to clear this shit up, or deal with the consequences. Sharon's apparently got an old lady gang of her own, from the Bronx, and they're not playing any kind of Golden Girls cheesecake-on-the-lanai games.

Kandi gets a little heated during this conversation, while trying to stay respectful, and assures Sharon that she will NOT allow her to punch Mama Joyce in the mouth. She's also not thrilled that Sharon calls her out on enabling Mama Joyce to be the crazy lunatic that she is. The fact that Kandi throws up her hands and is basically like, "Eh, she does that stuff all the time," is rather alarming, and hopefully some of what Sharon and Todd are saying will eventually get through to her. For now, though, Kandi is just relieved that when Sharon says she's going to put something in the mail for Mama Joyce that she's talking about a court summons and not a horse head.

Kandi is visiting Todd while he's working in New York, and in addition to this pleasant dinner at Sammy's Fish Box they also get to see Cynthia walking in fashion week. Cynthia is slated to close a show for her "friend," designer Kithe Brewster. Kithe first grabs a tape measure and notes that Cynthia has put on some extra ass, and then tells a younger model to demonstrate her walk, saying, "Let's have her show grandma Cindy how the new girls are doing it now." He adds, "We'll get you a walking stick." !!!!!!! Maybe Miss Sharon can punch him in the mouth, too, while she's at it?

Back in Atlanta Cynthia plays all confident like, "I'm Cynthia Bailey. Now what else is going on?" but I worry that she's been secretly measuring her ass since returning from New York.

Cynthia has some other, non-donkey-booty related drama going on. At the tail end of the disastrous dinner from last week, Cynthia and Nene have some alone time in which Cynthia feels that Nene lets her walls down, apparently by dabbing at her dry eyes with a napkin.

Hey, whatever works. Cynthia says that the friendship started breaking down when Nene called Peter a bitch. Nene points out that a real friend would have rung a person on the phone to talk it out, and not waited until the reunion to bring it up. In the end, though, Cynthia says she still wants to be friends and Nene hopes to move on, and they hug for a looooooong time.

This leaves Cynthia optimistic that they can get their friendship back on track. Two big things stand in her way. The first is Nene, who interviews, "I never make the same mistake twice." She thinks that Cynthia did her wrong, and is now going to be skeptical of her forever.

The second is Peter. As opposed to Gregg, who notes that deep down Nene and Cynthia do miss each other and thinks if they get to the bottom of their issues that healing can begin, Peter notes that he's been "extremely in paradise" for the duration of the Nene-free past six months. Apparently they've been having more sex, and I was going to say that correlation does not equal causation, but now I'm starting to wonder. Perhaps there are some interesting amendments to that friendship contract that we didn't know about?

As is his custom, Peter was all up in women's business with the Nene drama, tweeting nasty stuff and also saying that he doesn't want to have to compete with her. He mocks Cynthia's desire to get their friendship back on track, saying that she sounds like a twelve year old, and points out that Nene did a bunch of foul things to Cynthia, and Cynthia doesn't want to hold her accountable. That last part may actually be true. Still, as Nene points out rather theatrically, "Peter has talked negative about me on social media and in other places. But yet Cynthia will get mad if someone calls him out of his name. I wonder why, when he totally acts like the word that he's been called." My personal vote is that Cynthia gets a new husband AND new friends.

And finally, in this episode Phaedra assures us that the Apollo situation isn't affecting her jobs-plural by agreeing to defend hairstylist Derek J., who is accused of instructing his staff to steal a woman's expensive weave right out of her head. Quoth Phaedra, "So she says you're a…um…hair burglar?"

Also quoth Phaedra, "Hide your daughters, hide your weaves, hide your wigs! Derek J. is coming, and your hair'll be going faster than this!" Also quoth Phaedra, "Fix it Jesus." I'm glad that something is making her laugh, in any case!

Next time: Oh NOOOOOOO Apollo embraces Phaedra in public.

[Video and images via Bravo]

Morning After is a new home for television discussion online, brought to you by Gawker. Follow @GawkerMA and read more about it here.

In 17 years as a Hialeah cop, Harold Garzon has racked up 16 internal affairs cases against him. He may have a 17th case, after pulling over the wrong guy for playing N.W.A. on his car stereo: a "double Harvard graduate" and current law student who wasn't snowed by Garzon's poor command of state noise ordinances.

According to the Miami New Times, Cesar Baldelomar, 26, was stopped at a red light in his neighborhood northwest of Miami on Thanksgiving break from law school when Garzon, working another case at the intersection, took issue with Baldelomar's musical tastes:

Then came the song's eponymous refrain — "Fuck tha police!" — four times in a row.

"Really?" Garzon said to Baldelomar through his open car window. "You're really playing that song? Pull over."

The cop told Baldelomar it's "illegal to play loud music within 25 feet of another person." The law student laughed that one off:

"In 2012 the state supreme court struck down any law banning loud music," he says. "I knew that because it was a case I had actually studied in law school."

Garzon grew angry, though, when Baldelomar told him that fact. He called over two other cops and then demanded proof of insurance. Baldelomar pulled up his info on his phone, but Garzon waived it off, saying, "It's got to be paper." (It doesn't. Florida changed the law a year ago.)

Finally, Garzon tore off three tickets: one for the insurance, one for having an out-of-state license plate, and one for not wearing a seat belt. Baldelomar says he was wearing his seat belt the whole time and is still legally a resident of Massachusetts.

When Baldelomar asked where his noise violation was, Garzon told him to take off and not to get "smart."

Baldelomar plans to contest the tickets, which he did not sign. He'll also file a complaint against Garzon. And he left New Times reporter Michael E. Miller with some heavy thoughts about policing in immigrant-heavy Miami-Dade County:

"I'm educated. I know my rights. And I speak English, so I can fight this," he points out. "But what about when this happens to someone who's not so lucky? Policing has to change in this country."

[Screenshot via Tru TV]

Lindsay Lohan, where did she go? To Heaven, maybe. There she floats, angel wings affixed to her small frame, dining with Joe Strummer. "What do you say, Joe?" she asks, "Fill up our plates?" They fill up their plates, once again, with delicious appetize—oh wait, nevermind. She's just still in London. And she's never coming back!

Lindsay Lohan is, of course, in London to perform in a production of David Mamet's Speed-the-Plow. But did you know that she has lived there for nine months, has a lease for another year on her flat in the West End, and never wants to move back to LA again? It's true. She explains to the Guardian, "I needed to grow up and London is a better place for me to do that than anywhere else." She continues:

"I won't live in LA again, hell no," she says. "My friends tell me shit when they come over I don't want to hear. I don't even know who got married and who got pregnant. You turn on the news in LA and it is all gossip about people. All the stuff that is going on in the world right now and this gossip is the news?" She laughs. "I love the BBC. I haven't heard myself mentioned on TV since I have been here. That has been really weird for me, and great."

We've lost our baby, friends. We've lost her and she hasn't heard herself mentioned on TV except for this moment I assume which is weird for her and she doesn't know who got pregnant or married and she's never coming back. We've lost her and it's our fault.

She's Lindsay London now.

[image via Getty]

Justin Bieber posted the photo above on Instagram early this morning, which features him "choking" Chris Brown against a wall. "Had fun with the homey @chrisbrownofficial," Bieber writes, and he probably did! Lots of laughs. It looks like the two enjoyed a sushi date before play-fighting.

Some commenters are now telling Bieber to take the photo down, however. That's probably because in 2009, Brown punched, bit, and choked his then-girlfriend Rihanna in his Lamborghini before the Grammys.

After three years of incubation, a human has emerged from Hayden Panettiere's country-western womb. The human, a woman, has been dubbed "Kaya."

Nothing displeases the Baby Name Critic more than a name like "Kaya" and its counterpart, "Kaia" (which means, loosely, "by the sea" in Hawaiian). This is a name not meant to age with a child and accompany it through life, but to evoke a feeling, like "Cordovan leather" or "Angelina Jolie." The name Kaya says: My head is full of ocean air, and my hair is full of kelp.

A strong name should have a singular distinct meaning and a clear cultural lineage. This is not so with Kaya. According to Baby Name Wizard, Kaya means, across several languages, "wealthy elder little sister rock yew of the physical body temperament tomorrow [garbled translation] skin."

Kaya's middle name is Evdokia, which is Greek and means "happiness." Cool name.

This has been Baby Name Critic.

Leah Finnegan is Gawker's Baby Name Critic.

[Pic via Getty]

The prevailing (though likely wrong) theory behind Sony's recent hack-disaster is North Korean revenge, a national strike against the studio for its movie depiction of Kim Jong Un's assassination. And according to leaked emails obtained by Gawker, Sony executives were worried about the flick even before they got hacked.

A previous report by Bloomberg said Sony execs altered the gory finale of The Interview, toning down the extent to which Un's head is exploded and set aflame. But the movie faced more problems than just Supreme Leader's immolation scene—Sony executives and distribution partners around the world were worried that the movie was too offensive, "desperately unfunny," and worst of all, starred James Franco.

Emails sent from UK Sony Pictures exec Peter Taylor to president of Sony Pictures Releasing International Steven O'Dell are particularly harsh, describing the comedy as a "misfire," "unfunny and repetitive," with "a level of realistic violence that would be shocking in a horror movie." Taylor holds one of the film's co-stars in particularly low regard: "James Franco proves once again that irritation is his strong suit which is a shame because the character could have been appealing and funny out of his hands."

In other words: Not the kind of movie you want to risk an international incident over.

The truth is, Sony's been worried about this for a long time. The company was so concerned about angering China that Nigel Clark, the head of international marketing, emailed a script of the movie to the general manager of SPE China, Li Chow, back in December 2013. Chow writes that "it is unlikely that Sony will be hurt by making the film" but suggests changing "the part... when they sneak into China to get into N. Korea":

Dear Nigel,

I read the script and it is difficult to say whether the government will object. In times when there is no political tension in the region, it would not be a problem. Films that had run into problems are because China is directly involved. In recent years, China seems to have distanced itself from N. Korea and it is unlikely that Sony will be hurt by making the film. Having said that, the part that would need to be changed is when they sneak into China to get into N. Korea because this will surely anger China. There are, of course, always risks involved because the government is reactionary and therefore, unpredictable.

Best regards, Li

The movie was made—but a marketing PDF from October betrays the studio's uneasiness with the film, suggesting everyone stay away from its very obvious (and very bloody, heavy handed political themes):

For a movie that is literally about two Americans assassinating a foreign leader, that seems like an understatement. The studio is afraid to even let too many people know about the film's premise:

Sony's international distribution partners—who saw the movie at a screening in London in June—show a lot of uncertainty that anyone, anyone in the world, will enjoy this movie.

In the Netherlands, distributors worried about its "limited potential" thanks to an "unbalanced" "execution":

"The movie does start with a very strong opening scene with Eminem coming out and the plot of the producer and the talkshow host wanting to interview the North Korean dictator, but getting dragged into a murder conspiracy is for sure promising, but the execution is unbalanced at best and in the final action packed scenes, the movie spins completely out of control, unfortunately also making use of such gory violence that the age rating spikes to 16, hence limiting the audience from the start. The movie does have some funny moments, but all in all we feel that the movie has a limited potential in the Netherlands"

South Korea, understandably, wants nothing to do with the movie and its "strange North Korean accent," thanks in part to "the political issue about North Korea":

Dear Steven

Although this is a fun and unique comedy film with good performance by main talents, all my staff requested NRP.

Because main talents are still weak to appeal, vulnerable genre to our market and anticipated +18.

Above all, it make a North Korean head too much caricature and strange North Korean accent is not acceptable to our audience.

Also there would be a big potential to produce the political issue about North Korea as well.

However, depending on the trend and phenomenon of social and political issues after openings in US and other major territories,

we can review our release plan again.

Best regards

Sun

France thinks that French moviegoers will be turned off by the "facts improbability"—and also because French people don't think Rogen is funny:

The concept is crazy and fun, absurd in a good way, but for the French audience, I'm afraid they are going too far in the facts improbability. Unfortunately, Seth Rogen's humor doesn't really translate here, but maybe the release of neighbors in August will help to change French's opinion.

Taiwan is blunt: "We don't find it entertaining at all." The one bright spot in a movie that has "Seth Rogen's written all over it" is the presence song by Taiwanese pop star Jay Chou—though "all the rest seems to be only about selling Katy Perry songs:

We've just watched THE INTERVIEW, and to be very honest, we are a bit disappointed and don't think the film stands a chance in our market.

The concept of THE DICTATOR meeting ARGO may sound fun, but probably due to culture difference, we don't find it entertaining at all. Not to mention our audience doesn't react well to jokes about foreign politics. And we also don't understand why it needs to get so violent in the end, which should get the film an R-18 rating here.

THE INTERVIEW does have Seth Rogen's written all over it. He's not afraid of making fun of hetero/homo sexuality, drugs, politics, and even his own nudity. And this one again has Seth's favorite situational theme, about how true "bromance" can only be revealed at the time they drag each other into deep ShXt : ) The lines seem to be written based on Seth Rogen and James Franco, which reminds us a lot of PINEAPPLE EXPRESS. Unfortunately it is the humor our audience does not embrace so much. The only nice surprise was hearing Jay Chou's song in the background when Seth visiting China in the film, all the rest seems to be only about selling Katy Perry songs.

The Interview currently carries a 40% "fresh" score on Rotten Tomatoes (that's awful), and its stars have gone silent to the press since the movie's premiere over the weekend. If Sony's data breach really is an act of North Korean reprisal, it's hard to imagine a movie less worth getting hacked over.

But there's some good news: at least one sophisticated demographic with highbrow taste thinks Sony's got a hit on their hands:

http://defamer.gawker.com/leaked-the-nig...

http://defamer.gawker.com/new-bond-scrip...

http://defamer.gawker.com/sony-leak-stud...

http://defamer.gawker.com/sony-exec-i-do...

http://defamer.gawker.com/channing-tatum...

http://defamer.gawker.com/hollywood-exec...

Canadian industrial band Skinny Puppy has sent the U.S. Department of Defense an invoice for $666,000 (the fee structure of the beast) for using its songs as the aural equivalent of waterboarding at Guantanamo Bay, keyboardist cEvin Key told CTV.

A former Guantanamo guard allegedly contacted the band to let them know their songs were being used as torture tools against detainees, and Skinny Puppy have since gotten the advice of lawyers who believe they have a good case against the U.S. government.

"We sent them an invoice for our musical services considering they had gone ahead and used our music without our knowledge and used it as an actual weapon against somebody," said Key, of the band that released an album called Weapon last year.

As for the insinuation that Skinny Puppy's songs are tantamount to prison punishment, Key says he's "offended."

"I wouldn't want to be subjected to any overly loud music for six to 12 hours at a time without a break," he told CTV.

[h/t boingboing, photo via dave porn/youtube]

The Philippine government filed murder charges against Marine Pfc. Joseph Scott Pemberton this week. Pemberton is accused of having killed Jennifer Laude, a trans woman also known as Jeffrey, who was found on a hotel room's toilet with a broken neck.

"It's murder," prosecutor Emily de los Santos told reporters in Olongapo City, north of Manila. "It was aggravated by treachery, abuse of superior strength and cruelty."

Because the Philippines does not utilize a jury system, a judge will decide the case against Pemberton, who faces up to 40 years in prison if convicted.

According to the New York Times, Pemberton was in the Philippines for U.S. military exercises this past October. He reportedly met Laude at a nightclub and the two returned to the hotel room where she was later found dead. Corroborated with closed-circuit TV, Pemberton was the last person to see Laude alive.

The Guardian reports that Pemberton's lawyers have requested a downgraded charge of homicide and its 20-year prison sentence. Following public outcry, the U.S. agreed to have Pemberton transferred from an American warship to a Philippine military camp, though he remains in American custody. (A 1998 accord allows for American soldiers in the country to be tried in Philippine court.)

The possible prosecution of Pemberton threatens to strain a concerted effort between the United States and the Philippines to fortify their military relationship—the countries agreed in April of this year to allow the U.S. to expand its presence there.

[Image via AP]

You might be surprised what happens if you get stopped for speeding in Virginia. Even if you don't live here, you may find yourself passing through for business or vacation. Educate yourself in advance.

(The way Virginia deals with speeders has been a hot topic this year, thanks to the jail sentences of our own Patrick George and now Washington Nationals outfielder Jayson Werth. In light of this, we asked Virginia traffic defense attorney Andrew Flusche to shed some light on the state's speeding laws. -Ed.)

It may not be a speeding ticket

Many people think nothing of being stopped for speeding. You'll get a ticket which you can just pay when you get back home. Not in Virginia.

Many people who get stopped on the interstates in Virginia get home to find out that they were actually charged with a crime. It's called reckless driving, and it prohibits going over 80 mph or any speed 20+ over the speed limit. This is a misdemeanor offense in Virginia, which is the same level of offense as DUI.

What's even crazier is that the officer may not tell you exactly what type of ticket you're getting. Many officers simply write "RD" on the ticket, which drivers don't usually recognize as reckless driving right away. I think that helps reduce arguments on the side of the road.

Reckless driving tickets present unique problems for drivers, since they are technically jailable offenses for which the judge could suspend your license. Realistically, most people don't receive punishments that severe. However, people do regularly go to jail and lose their license for this offense.

How to protect yourself

Now that you know the scary truth of Virginia's reckless driving law, what can you do about it in advance?

Simple. Don't go over 80 in Virginia. No matter what.

And keep your speed no more than 19 mph over the speed limit. But if the speed limit is 65 mph, you still have to keep it under 80 mph too.

That alone will help keep you out of the reckless driving boat. Although there are other types of reckless driving that you could still get nabbed for, such as simply running off the road, which usually entails a reckless driving ticket for "failure to maintain control" of the vehicle.

Also, when you drive through Virginia for a holiday weekend, pay extra careful attention to your driving and your speed. Holiday weekends are major enforcement times for Virginia's traffic laws. For example, during the 2014 Thanksgiving weekend, Virginia State Police cited 2,312 people for reckless driving and 9,789 people for speeding. That's not even including all the tickets issued by local sheriff's offices and police departments. The summer holiday weekends can have even higher numbers, with 2,673 reckless driving tickets issued by the State Police from July 4 to July 6, 2014.

How to respond to a ticket

If you're an unlucky recipient of one of these criminal charges, what should you do?

First of all, read the ticket and look up the "Law Section" that you're charged with. If it's regular speeding, you can decide about paying it versus hiring a lawyer to try to have it dismissed.

But if you're charged with reckless driving, you need to think carefully about how to respond.

Most importantly, beware of the counties that let you just pay the ticket. Be sure you're making an informed decision before you accept a conviction for reckless driving. You'd be surprised how many people try to get an old reckless driving conviction expunged in Virginia, only to be told that it's impossible. In Virginia, if you are found guilty of a crime, it's on the record for good.

The best way to learn the truth about what you're really facing is by calling a local traffic lawyer who regularly handles cases where your ticket is pending. You don't have to hire them. But they should be willing to give you an overview of the realistic punishments that the judge may impose.

Knowing what you're facing gives you the power to make a solid decision about the costs and benefits of different approaches. If the judge never gives jail for the speed you're accused of, that could certainly make the ticket a little less stressful at least.

It's critical to talk with a local lawyer, since these cases vary widely across Virginia. For example, in some courts, 100 mph is the magic line where jail becomes a threat. But in other courts, 90 mph could land you in jail for a couple days. That makes a big difference if you're charged with 92 in a 70 mph zone.

Why Virginia is different

People often ask why Virginia treats speeding so harshly. There are many opinions on this, but it seems like a mix of reasons.

One is political. Legislators want to look like they're keeping people safe, and having stern traffic laws theoretically makes the roads safer. Almost every year there are proposals in the Virginia General Assembly to loosen the reckless driving laws, and they seem to routinely fail.

Financial reasons exist too. Reckless driving fines can go up to $2,500. While that number is not imposed often, it's not unusual to see a fine of $350 or more for these offenses; whereas, the maximum fine for a regular Virginia speeding ticket is $250. Plus, the court costs are higher for a misdemeanor offense than for a traffic ticket. Reckless driving tickets raise a hefty chunk of revenue for the state.

Now that you're informed, you hopefully won't end up meeting a member of the Virginia State Police during your travels.

Andrew Flusche limits his law practice to traffic and misdemeanor defense in Virginia.

Photo credit Shutterstock

Famous blonde actress Scarlett Johansson was featured as one of Barbara Walters's Most Fascinating People last night, because who cares, why not? In the interview, however, Johansson revealed that one thing about her is decidedly not fascinating: her flesh and blood.

"It's an okay body," Johansson said of her frame. "I wouldn't say it's particularly remarkable, though. I don't like my thighs, my midsection."

It's an okay body, said the woman who got naked in the pool in He's Just Not That Into You and then Bradley Cooper cheated on his wife. Remember that? I don't think we can go around classifying bodies as just "okay" if they are causing Bradley Cooper to cheat on his wife. Okay? Oh my god.

Johansson does have a plan to change that "okay" to a "fair?" in her mind, however. After giving birth to a child in September, she says, "I'm nursing and I love it. It's the best way to get back in shape."

Okay???

[Photo via Getty]

When a crime is never solved, it can become both maddening and tantalizing. The victims never get justice, their loved ones never get closure, and law enforcement officers can turn into haunted, True Detective-style obsessives. Here are eight fascinating cases that remain unsolved to this day.

This list of unsolved crimes deliberately leaves out the most-publicized cases: Who was DB Cooper/Jack the Ripper/the Zodiac Killer? Where is Madeleine McCann/Jimmy Hoffa/Natalee Holloway? Who killed the Black Dahlia/JonBenét Ramsey/Biggie and Tupac/Bob Crane? And did the acquitted Lizzie Borden actually deliver those 40 whacks of legend?

Instead, we've tried to dig deeper, highlighting crimes that may have grabbed fewer headlines than those high-profile puzzles, but remain just as fascinating.

1) Beaumont children disappearance

It was 1966, a gorgeous Australia Day in the suburbs of Adelaide, when nine-year-old Jane Beaumont and her siblings, seven-year-old Arnna and four-year-old Grant vanished seemingly into thin air. The kids hopped a bus for what should have been a five-minute ride to Glenelg Beach, a popular spot they visited often. Hours later, they failed to return home, setting into motion one of Australia's most sensational mysteries — and even today, one of its most prominent cold cases.

Witnesses claimed to have seen the siblings on the beach playing with a tall, thin, blonde man. Jane Beaumont was spotted buying snacks (including a meat pie, which the children had never purchased before) with money she did not have when she left the house that day. A mail carrier who knew the family saw the kids walking in the direction of their home a few hours later ... but they never made it. Where did the children go? Who was the tall man? Though the case has continued to generate leads and wild theories (religious cults, a madman who may have turned the kids into a human centipede of sorts via "experimental surgery"), it remains unsolved. Needless to say, parents in Australia became a lot more protective and paranoid in the wake of this case.

Image above via Fanpop

2) Michael Rockefeller disappearance

Carl Hoffman's outstanding 2014 book,Savage Harvest, offers a compelling answer to the question that's haunted the Rockefeller legacy since 1961: What happened to eager young Michael Rockefeller, who vanished while collecting indigenous art among the Asmat tribe of what was then Netherlands New Guinea? Though his father, New York State governor and future Vice President Nelson Rockefeller, had the means and clout to launch a formidable search, no trace of the 23-year-old recent Harvard grad was ever found.

Hoffman's well-researched exploration suggests that Michael, long rumored to have met his demise at the hands of locals (gifted woodcarvers who were also documented to be cannibals and headhunters), may have unknowingly upset a delicate peace between warring villages in the region, and been targeted simply for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. (If that were true, it would make Michael's disappearance more tragic cultural misunderstanding than "crime.") For followers of the case, this theory is the most satisfying one we'll probably ever encounter.

Image via the Sunday Times

3) Murder of Ken Rex McEllroy

Another must-read for aficionados of unsolved cases: Harry N. MacLean's Edgar-winning true crime tale In Broad Daylight: A Murder in Skidmore. It weaves the incredible tale of a Missouri town rising up to take down the man who was regarded as the local bully, a violent man who committed crime after crime (including child molestation) but always escaping serious jail time. Ken Rex McElroy's murder took place (as the MacLean book's title suggests) in the middle of the day, in the middle of town. Like Wild West vigilantes, MacLean suggests that those who were involved have upheld a code of secrecy that's been kept for over 30 years.

image via Crime Library

4) Murder of William Desmond Taylor

Hollywood enters this list with a scandal that rocked the movie biz in 1922: The untimely death of successful silent-film directorWilliam Desmond Taylor. He perished in his own home of at least one gunshot wound to his back; since he was carrying cash and wearing a diamond ring, robbery didn't seem to be a motive. The case grabbed headlines as a voluminous list of suspects entered the fray. Was it his newly-hired valet, a man with a sketchy past? Was it his former valet, who'd stolen from Taylor just months before? Was it Taylor's girlfriend, movie star Mabel Normand? Or, most juicily, did it have something to do with the young starlet whose career Taylor was shepherding along, at the urging of the girl's zealous stage mother? A screenwriter couldn't have come up with a better mystery than this.

5) Axeman of New Orleans

All serial killers are creepy. But have you heard the one about the still-unidentified chap who roamed New Orleans circa 1918-1919, chopping up unfortunate parties (eight in total) with an axe ... usually an axe plucked from the victim's own home? There were suggested motives galore, but none so peerless as the one suggested by the Axeman himself, or someone claiming to be him, who sent a taunting letter to the local papers that read, in part:

Now, to be exact, at 12:15 (earthly time) on next Tuesday night, I am going to pass over New Orleans. In my infinite mercy, I am going to make a little proposition to you people. Here it is:

I am very fond of jazz music, and I swear by all the devils in the nether regions that every person shall be spared in whose home a jazz band is in full swing at the time I have just mentioned. If everyone has a jazz band going, well, then, so much the better for you people. One thing is certain and that is that some of your people who do not jazz it on Tuesday night (if there be any) will get the axe.

"Jazz it" ... or get the axe. Dig?

6) Cleveland Torso Murderer

The more alarming nickname for this never-caught killer is "the Mad Butcher of Kingsbury Run," who gruesomely beheaded and dismembered at least 12 people in the 1930s. That would be enough to elevate the case into the annals of "most intriguing unsolved crimes," but the fact that future "Untouchable" Eliot Ness was working in Cleveland law enforcement at the time adds a little extra true-crime varnish to the story.

EXPAND

Images via Cleveland Memory and JTR Forums

7) Keddie Murders

This brutal mass murder took place in a seemingly bucolic cabin community in the Sierra Nevada mountains of Northern California. Its details are so haunting there's a highly thoroughwebsite dedicated to every aspect of the case; you'll want to explore it yourself after hearing the bare-bones details. The victims (a 36-year-old mother, her 15-year-old son, and his 17-year-old friend) were beaten with a claw hammer. In the room next door, unharmed: two younger sons and their friend. In the cabin next door, unharmed: the woman's older daughter. Missing: a 12-year-old daughter whose skull was recovered in 1984, three years after the brutal crime.

Cabin 28, where the murders took place, was torn down in 2004 (image via Documenting Reality)

8) Villisca Axe Murders

In keeping with the axe/hammer theme that's emerging ... on June 10, 1912, in a small town in Iowa, two adults and six children were killed in their sleep by someone or someones unknown (suspects included an Iowa state senator, a "cocaine fiend and serial killer," and a traveling preacher). The house is (of course) now rumored to be haunted, and like Lizzie Borden's house in Massachusetts, is available for overnight stays for those who are not easily spooked.

Cool Pope strikes again: Today, between riding bombing through Vatican City on his longboard and proclaiming that hell yeah the gay tadpole you flushed down the toilet is getting into heaven, the Catholic God's representative on Earth asked the U.S. to please, please do something about Gitmo.

Through a spokesman, Pope Francis asked John Kerry to find an "adequate humanitarian solution" for the 148 prisoners still detained at Guantanamo without trial. From the Associated Press:

The Vatican secretary of state, Cardinal Pietro Parolin, made the request during a Vatican meeting with U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry.

Vatican spokesman Rev. Federico Lombardi said the two sides discussed the U.S. commitment to closing the facility. He said Parolin expressed the Holy See's desire that "favorable attention be paid to finding adequate humanitarian solutions for current inmates.

The president has been making strides of late to keep the promise he made during his 2008 campaign. Just last week, six prisoners were released to Uruguay, and in October, the White House made public its plans to close the vile hellhole once and for all. What do you say, Obama? A ride in the popemobile might be in it for you if you did.

[Image via AP]