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New York State, Ever Less Important, Now Trails Florida in Population

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New York State, Ever Less Important, Now Trails Florida in Population

The United States Census Bureau announced today that the State of New York, which had been the nation's third most populous state, has now slipped to fourth place, behind Florida. In the 12 months ending July 1, 2014, the Sunshine State gained 293,000 new inhabitants, while New York added a meager 51,000.

As a result, the official population of New York state is now 19,746,227, while Florida's population is 19,893,297. There are 147,070 more people in Florida than in New York. That's approximately the entire population of Hollywood, Florida, or a bit more than the population of Syracuse, New York—Syracuse being smaller than Hollywood, Florida.

So continues a long slide for what was once the most populous of all the United States of America. New York surpassed Virginia in the 1810s to claim its spot as No. 1, a distinction it would hold for a century and a half before falling behind California in the 1962 census estimate, then Texas in 1994.

Now even Florida—a transient appendage of the continent, whose hollow land is collapsing in on itself where it is not being steadily consumed by the rising oceans—is a more attractive place to live.

The march of history is inexorable. Virginia, New York's long-ago rival, no longer even appears in the Census Bureau's top 10. It has less than half the population of New York now. By 2016, if this year's growth rates hold, New York in turn will have less than half the population of California.

But aren't California and Texas, and even Florida, larger than New York? Yes. By population density, New York can still proudly claim to outshine its more populous rivals—as No. 7 in the country, right behind Delaware, and six slots behind No. 1 New Jersey.

Today, the sun sets at 4:32 p.m. in New York City, where the weather is 46 degrees with a foggy drizzle. In Miami, where it is 83 degrees and partly cloudy, the sun will set at 5:35.

[Image via AP]


Southwest Plane's Wing Clipped as Passenger Jets Collide at LaGuardia

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A Southwest Airlines flight collided with an American Airlines plane at LaGuardia this morning, clipping off a chunk of one of the Southwest plane's wings.

There were no reports of injuries, according to ABC News, and the FAA is investigating.

"The wingtip of the aircraft operating Southwest Airlines Flight #449 departing from New York LaGuardia to Denver came in contact with another aircraft that was awaiting a gate," Southwest said in a statement, according to CBS New York. "The 143 customers onboard Flight 449 deplaned the aircraft via air stairs and were bussed to the terminal where our Teams are working to get them to their destinations. The aircraft involved has been taken out of service for inspection and repairs."

The Craziest Stuff People Tried to Sneak Onto Airplanes This Year

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The Craziest Stuff People Tried to Sneak Onto Airplanes This Year

We may shake our heads at the TSA's antics from time to time, but the men and women holding you up at airport security are actually dealing with some pretty scary prospects. Like loaded firearms. And grenades. And daggers. And for whatever reason, a hell of a lot of sword canes. Here are some of the craziest things people have tried to sneak past airport security in 2014.

Because the TSA details some of the more absurd confiscated contraband on its blog on a weekly basis, we get a first hand look into the boldest (and often dumbest) attempts at sneaking strictly forbidden items into airports. And after a whole year of swiping banned goods, it was quite a haul.


The Weird

WWII Blasting Machine, Atlanta, GA:

The Craziest Stuff People Tried to Sneak Onto Airplanes This Year

Spear gun, Las Vegas, NV:

The Craziest Stuff People Tried to Sneak Onto Airplanes This Year

Inert warhead, Tucson, AZ:

The Craziest Stuff People Tried to Sneak Onto Airplanes This Year

Cannon barrel, Kahului, HI:

The Craziest Stuff People Tried to Sneak Onto Airplanes This Year

Hairbrush dagger, Fairbanks, AK:

The Craziest Stuff People Tried to Sneak Onto Airplanes This Year

F bomb, Milwaukee, WI:

The Craziest Stuff People Tried to Sneak Onto Airplanes This Year

Bear attack deterrent, Anchorage, AK:

The Craziest Stuff People Tried to Sneak Onto Airplanes This Year

Stun cane, Tampa, FL:

The Craziest Stuff People Tried to Sneak Onto Airplanes This Year

A mallet, Burlington, VT:

The Craziest Stuff People Tried to Sneak Onto Airplanes This Year


The Concealed Knives

Knife in a hard drive caddy, Dayton, OH:

The Craziest Stuff People Tried to Sneak Onto Airplanes This Year

Scooby Doo razor blades, Newport News, VA:

The Craziest Stuff People Tried to Sneak Onto Airplanes This Year

Knife taped to carry-on bag, Pheonix, AZ:

The Craziest Stuff People Tried to Sneak Onto Airplanes This Year

From top: Belt buckle knife, Rapid City, SD; Bladed survival tool in shoe, Philadelphia, PA:

The Craziest Stuff People Tried to Sneak Onto Airplanes This Year

Lipstick knife, Detroit, MI:

The Craziest Stuff People Tried to Sneak Onto Airplanes This Year

Knife in phone case, Tampa, FL:

The Craziest Stuff People Tried to Sneak Onto Airplanes This Year

Saw in bible, Orlando, FL:

The Craziest Stuff People Tried to Sneak Onto Airplanes This Year

Knife in enchilada, Santa Rosa, CA:

The Craziest Stuff People Tried to Sneak Onto Airplanes This Year


The Drugs

3 pounds of cocaine inside meat, San Jose, CA:

The Craziest Stuff People Tried to Sneak Onto Airplanes This Year

Marijuana and marijuana paraphernelia in various types of peanut butter jars, Denver, CO (left) and Sacramento, CA (right):

The Craziest Stuff People Tried to Sneak Onto Airplanes This Year

A plastic bag containing 67 pills hidden inside of a hollowed out textbook:

The Craziest Stuff People Tried to Sneak Onto Airplanes This Year

81 pounds of marijuana, Oakland, CA:

The Craziest Stuff People Tried to Sneak Onto Airplanes This Year

92 pounds of marijuana, Phoenix, AZ:

The Craziest Stuff People Tried to Sneak Onto Airplanes This Year


The Sword Canes

Douglas County, NE:

The Craziest Stuff People Tried to Sneak Onto Airplanes This Year

Dayton, OH:

The Craziest Stuff People Tried to Sneak Onto Airplanes This Year

Charlotte, NC:

The Craziest Stuff People Tried to Sneak Onto Airplanes This Year

Memphis TN:

The Craziest Stuff People Tried to Sneak Onto Airplanes This Year


The Dumbest Things Said

  • An Albuquerque (ABQ) passenger stated the following to a gate agent: "I have explosives in my pocket. We all have bombs. I have cyanide in my wallet." He didn't have explosives or cyanide.
  • A Rochester (ROC) passenger approached a ticket counter to check in and stated to the ticket agent that he had a bomb in his bag. He didn't have a bomb in his bag.
  • After alarming the explosives trace detection machine at Midway (MDW), a traveler stated that she "wouldn't mind blowing this whole place up."
  • After realizing his flight had departed with his checked baggage onboard, a Miami (MIA) passenger asked a gate agent: "What if I had a bomb in my bag?"
  • During a bag search at the New York Kennedy airport (JFK), a passenger stated: "Why you looking in my bag? There's a bomb in there." There was no bomb in his bag.

Images via The TSA Blog

Somebody Went to Princeton for "Architecture Shit" on Vanderpump Rules

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Somebody Went to Princeton for "Architecture Shit" on Vanderpump Rules

Last night on Vanderpump Rules, we became more acquainted with Sur's newest hostess, Vail Bloom. Whether or not that's her real name isn't important. What's important is that she went to Princeton. The university. Ivy League, New Jersey, something about eating clubs—ever heard of it?

Vail was invited to Stassi's war tribunal (girls' night), where she was grilled on various aspects of her past and present. "You went to Princeton?" Stassi asks. Vail says yes; she studied architecture. "Why aren't you doing like, architecture shit, then?" Stassi wants to know. Why are you a hostess at Sur? (The answer, of course, is that she was cast by Bravo to play a hostess at Sur.) Vail reveals that she once played an architect in a silent film, which in turn silences the other girls.

Later, Vail notes that she may have a passing interest in Jax, Stassi's ex-boyfriend who recently got a new nose. Vail! They will literally kill you.

Elsewhere in the episode, Kristen insists on fighting with Tom, and Tom shoots back that Kristen totally came over to his apartment with her "tits hanging out" last week, which is true.

Next week, we'll get a glimpse of Scheana and Shay's joint bachelor and bachelorette parties in Miami, which the whole gang will be attending. But probably not Vail.

"I'll Break You in Half" Congressman Pleads Guilty to Tax Evasion

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"I'll Break You in Half" Congressman Pleads Guilty to Tax Evasion

Staten Island-based congressman Michael Grimm pled guilty to federal tax evasion today. He was indicted earlier this year on 20 counts, including on charges of fraud, federal tax evasion, and perjury.

The New York representative was re-elected to his seat last month while the investigation into his then-alleged tax fraud was ongoing. His sentencing is scheduled for June of next year; prosecutors say between 24 and 30 months in prison "would be appropriate." From CBS New York:

According to an indictment, the tax fraud began in 2007 after Grimm retired from the FBI and began investing in a small Manhattan restaurant called Healthalicious.

The indictment accused him of underreporting more than $1 million in wages and receipts to evade payroll, income and sales taxes, partly by paying immigrant workers, some of them in the country illegally, in cash.

The case stemmed from an investigation of Grimm's campaign financing. He was never charged with any offense related to his campaign, but a woman romantically linked to him pleaded guilty in September to lining up straw donors for his 2010 run.

Grimm famously threatened to throw a reporter over a balcony on live TV and is apparently the New York congressman who sets teenage loins on fire.

[Image via AP]

What I Learned When Homophobic Thugs Tried to Stop My Film from Showing

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What I Learned When Homophobic Thugs Tried to Stop My Film from Showing

Before traveling to Kiev, Ukraine in late October to attend the Molodist International Film Festival with my documentary Mala Mala, which focuses on transgender cultures in Puerto Rico and their fight for civil rights, several close friends and family members pleaded with me not to go. "So, you have a death wish?" a friend asked me. "You know, there's a war over there," another said.

Meanwhile, an article in the New York Times, reporting that Putin said he could "take Kiev in two weeks" was forwarded to my inbox. Perhaps it was a combination of ignorance and boyish pride, but these moments only fanned the flames of my desire to be there.

I landed on a Tuesday with April Carrion, a drag queen and one of the stars of my documentary. The festival requested that she attend, as her participation on Season 6 of RuPaul's Drag Race made her somewhat known in Ukraine (queer kids in Kiev actually change their IP addresses to access Logo.com and watch the show). We were slated to screen Mala Mala as the closing night film of the queer competition at the festival, and it was April's first time out of the country. It was to be a true baptism by fire, in both a literal and figurative sense.

Our second night in Kiev, disturbing news came back to the hotel where we were staying—someone had burnt down the cinema housing the LGBT films.

Gradually more and more news made its way to us, in a frenetic and fragmented fashion. "They burnt the theater down while people were inside." "Everyone is OK, but all the films are lost," we were told. Many were quick to recognize it as an anti-gay attack, while others developed a theory that Russian agents were sent to wreak havoc on an international cultural event to make the capital city of Ukraine look unstable and anti-humanitarian. Remembering that Putin is ex-KGB, this theory sounded less paranoid than entirely plausible.

Even today, with the suspects in custody, the small amount of information that exists is steamrolled by news of the war in the east, and the world may never know the true motives of the two men who started the fire. Russian media outlets portray the event one way, Ukrainian media another, and neither add up to what I've heard from the ground. A small pro-equality demonstration was held outside the theater the following morning, while most local media framed the fire as something which began over a real estate dispute (a story which has since been debunked).

Unfortunately, the fire at Zhovten cinema (Kiev's oldest movie theater) was not the only event to threaten the safety of the LGBT film competition.

More disturbing news came to us in a similar manner the following night. "A riot just interrupted the screening of a queer documentary," festival attendees told us. The film, Max and the Others, by director (and friend) Richard Rossmann, had been interrupted when a group of anti-gay demonstrators gathered at the theater, clashed with police, and demanded to view the content of the film to determine whether or not it contained "pornographic material." As the clash outside the theater escalated, the screening was suspended and the audience evacuated.

Speaking with Richard over breakfast the next morning, he was still visibly shaken. He feared for his safety, and he feared for mine. "Make sure you know where the security guards are stationed, make sure you know where the emergency exits are, and if April is planning to come in drag, do everything you can to ensure her protection."

This was the first time in my life I found myself in the middle of the battle over media and representation. I had been filming for years in one of the most dangerous areas in Puerto Rico, only to find myself facing the threat of real violence somewhere else and in a place as foreign to me as Mars. On my mind sat the safety of April, of my girlfriend who had come with me to the festival (and who could probably take on more Ukrainian thugs than myself), and of the audience that would still be courageous enough to attend our screening. This is the epitome of what it means to have created a film like Mala Mala. Violence against queer people occurs all over the world, but in the United States the perception (although usually naive) of law and order shields us from the realities of such hate. It was terrifying, and I had to act. But how?

The next day I was slated to speak at the American Embassy in Kiev. Entering through the doors, and passing through several check points only highlighted the privilege of security itself. While real soldiers were waging war in the east, a battle at the volume of a whisper was occurring in the movie theaters, and here I was with a security badge entering through the military-grade steel doors of the American Embassy. It felt like I was entering a bunker while those not lucky enough to be born with an American passport were left outside and vulnerable. After the pandemonium of the past few days, I couldn't imagine anyone would show up to the event.

To my surprise, the resilience of the Ukrainian people manifested itself by filling the seats of our conference room in the Embassy. About 30 people, including American diplomats and representatives of different LGBT activist organizations, gathered with respectful anticipation of what myself and April (who appeared at the Embassy in full drag) would say.

I spoke of the need for inclusivity in the fight for equal rights, highlighting how the gay and feminist agendas of the '70s and '80s left their trans brothers and sisters behind in pursuit of more assimilationist tactics. I talked about how pragmatic issues, such as same-sex marriage, still dominate the LGBT agenda today, and how they're minimal achievements in relation to the larger cause. April brought the comforting, much-needed humor, at one point literally saying, "I mean, what am I doing here?! This is crazy! I'm at the American Embassy in Kiev in drag and it feels amazing!"

The discussion that followed was a mix of personal questions as well as larger, more general inquires about the film. It was then that it hit me: This is community-building; this is what it looks like to form a collective in a time of crisis; and the laughter that broke through the heaviness I carried with me into the room was a reminder of how necessary our in inherent vibrancy is, especially in dark times.

This was my education in global politics and what cultural representation has to do with it.

No matter what the motives of the thugs who burnt the theater to the ground may be, whether or not the skinheads that interrupted the screening of Richard's film were actually there with the intent to shield eyes from "pornography," both actions were direct attacks on queer media. To me, these violent efforts only highlight the need for media that represents the under-represented, it only motivates the activist within me to keep working in this fashion, and it solidifies my identity as an artist who is committed to social change.

The people of Kiev are living in dangerous, complicated times. As Putin encroaches on the east, and rumors of a western invasion are discussed with hushed voices, they are both patriotic and defeatist. "There's not much we can do really," a Ukrainian student with family in Crimea told me. They are hopeful even when it is most audacious to be so, they are persistent in spite of the ugliness that hovers over them from Putin's Russia. More than anyone, they have taught me what it truly means to produce the media that people seek to destroy. The burning of a theater is no different than a book burning, and the fact that bigots directly target the information conveyed in queer media only underwrites the importance of creating more.

I pulled April from our screening, and told her she could come to the Q&A only if she felt safe. Knowing her celebrity status, I couldn't take any chances. As I walked into the theater, I was greeted by the biggest audience since the fire, a nearly packed house filled with the desire to see themselves represented on the big screen. As the film played, my nerves intensified. Keenly aware of the emergency exits and my arm on my partners shoulder, my attention turned every time the door to the theater opened.

We made it through the film without incident. As the lights came up after the closing credits, April Carrion strutted into the theater, in full drag, like the fearless soldier that she is, ready to take on the barrage of questions and praise that ensued. She was more popular in Kiev than either of us could have imagined, and the amount of times she was thanked for appearing in the flesh in spite of all that had happened taught us both an important lesson in how vital is it to show up and stare, unwavering, into the face of discrimination.

As the fight for queer equality in the Unites States becomes more and more talked about as something that has already happened, it's important to remember that it hasn't. Legal protections all too often lead the attitudinal, subjective shifts in perspective required for real social change, and violence is still a much-accepted option for bigots to express their distaste for otherness in every culture all over the world. Creating and supporting media which embraces otherness is to join in the push for understanding. The festival programmers, the audience members, and the media-makers are fighters on this front, and to stand with them is to stand for justice and humanitarianism. The Molodist Film Festival, going to great lengths to support film which elevates voices that may not typically reach your ears, is one of many such spaces seeking to further the fight for understanding, and I forever remain in their corner.

As April shouted during her performance at the closing night after-party, a sentiment which succinctly captures the transnational mash-up which had solidified over the course of the week: "Viva Puerto Rico! Viva Ukraine!"

[Photo via Instagram]

Anderson Cooper Wouldn't Fuck Kelly Ripa, Which Makes Sense

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Anderson Cooper Wouldn't Fuck Kelly Ripa, Which Makes Sense

Which sort of human would Anderson Cooper rather fuck, a man or a woman? Kelly Ripa found out the hard way last night on Watch What Happens Live.

In a game of "Plead the Fifth," Ripa asked Cooper whether he'd rather have sex with her (small woman) or her husband (big man). Not even her sparkly, sleeveless jumpsuit could help her:

Forget it, Kelly Ripa. It's Anderson Coopertown.

[via Bravo]

Maps: Here Are All of the Areas That Were Hit by Tornadoes in 2014

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Maps: Here Are All of the Areas That Were Hit by Tornadoes in 2014

This was a quiet yet memorable year for tornadoes in the United States. With around 900 tornadoes on the books, here are some interesting maps that show all of the areas hit by tornadoes in 2014, from the twin tornadoes in Nebraska to storms nearly a mile wide in Mississippi. http://thevane.gawker.com/how-did-the-ra...

At the end of June, we took a mid-year look at how the tornado season played across the country, and up to that point we had seen 922 reported tornadoes and 1,229 tornado warnings. Since then, we've seen those numbers grow by a few hundred each. As of December 16, we've seen 1,322 reported tornadoes and 1,840 tornado warnings across the entire United States and even Puerto Rico.

Tornado Reports

Maps: Here Are All of the Areas That Were Hit by Tornadoes in 2014

Here are all of the tornado reports from across the country between January 1 and December 16. It's important to remember that actual tornadoes are different from reported tornadoes. The National Weather Service records every report of a tornado as an individual tornado—often when we see long-track tornadoes like those that occur in Oklahoma or Alabama, spotters will call in 25 reports on the same tornado. Those appear as 25 individual tornadoes when you look at storm reports, not just one. It takes a ground survey by meteorologists to confirm both the existence and the path and strength of a tornado.

These 1,322 tornado reports will likely come down to around 900 when the final data is crunched. However, the data itself isn't bad! It gives us a great look at where the most intense outbreaks occurred this year, as well as where tornadoes were most likely to occur over the past twelve months. I created a heat map of the tornado reports to give you a better idea of where we saw the most activity this year.

Maps: Here Are All of the Areas That Were Hit by Tornadoes in 2014

Far and away, the largest outbreak this year happened in Dixie Alley back at the end of April. Stretching roughly from Jackson, Mississippi northeast through Alabama and into Tennessee, Dixie Alley is a part of the United States that is susceptible to some of the worst tornado outbreaks in history. The area's weather stayed true to form this year; the outbreak produced 84 tornadoes that killed 35 people and injured hundreds more.

Elsewhere in the United States, we saw tight clusters of tornadoes form in northeastern Nebraska, which is where the now-infamous "twin tornadoes" (pictured at the top of this post) occurred, around the Denver area (which is common), as well as places like eastern North Carolina and even northern California.

Tornado Warnings

Aside from the obvious look at reported tornadoes across the country, we can look at the frequency of tornado warning polygons to get a good idea of where the atmosphere was most favorable for rotating thunderstorms this year. A tornado warning is issued in three instances: 1) when meteorologists detect strong rotation on Doppler radar that signals a storm could produce a tornado; 2) when meteorologists detect debris lofted into the atmosphere, which is virtual confirmation that a tornado is on the ground; and 3) when spotters confirm the existence of a tornado.

Most tornado warnings are false alarms. The number of false alarms is somewhere up around 70%, which is a huge problem both for accuracy and, most importantly, public trust. The "crying wolf" effect is a very real hazard when it comes to severe weather events, and many offices are consciously trying to cut down the number of false alarms.

Maps: Here Are All of the Areas That Were Hit by Tornadoes in 2014

2013 and 2014 have been extremely quiet tornado years when compared to the past decade, and the trend shines through when you look at tornado warnings. The above chart shows the total number of tornado warnings issued in the United States between 2005 and December 16, 2014. The quietest was 2013 with 1,831 warnings, and this year is just barely ahead.

Not that that's a bad thing, of course.

Maps: Here Are All of the Areas That Were Hit by Tornadoes in 2014

Through December 16, we've seen 1,840 tornado warnings across 43 of the 50 states. Most of the warnings were issued east of the Rockies, which makes sense when you think about weather patterns in the United States. The greatest density of tornado warnings occurred across Dixie Alley and northeastern Colorado—in fact, Weld County, Colorado is the most tornado-prone county in the United States.

I combined all of the tornado warnings and tornado reports issued across the country and broke it down into regions so you can get a better look at who was affected the most.

Northeastern U.S.

Maps: Here Are All of the Areas That Were Hit by Tornadoes in 2014

Mid-Atlantic/Ohio Valley

Maps: Here Are All of the Areas That Were Hit by Tornadoes in 2014

Southeastern U.S.

Maps: Here Are All of the Areas That Were Hit by Tornadoes in 2014

Upper Midwest

Maps: Here Are All of the Areas That Were Hit by Tornadoes in 2014

Northern Plains

Maps: Here Are All of the Areas That Were Hit by Tornadoes in 2014

Central Plains

Maps: Here Are All of the Areas That Were Hit by Tornadoes in 2014

Texas/Southwest

Maps: Here Are All of the Areas That Were Hit by Tornadoes in 2014

The West

Maps: Here Are All of the Areas That Were Hit by Tornadoes in 2014

Pacific Northwest

Maps: Here Are All of the Areas That Were Hit by Tornadoes in 2014

Today's Tornadoes

There is an enhanced risk for severe weather (including tornadoes) across the Deep South this afternoon. However, the data in this post stops at December 16, so it does not include any warnings or reports issues today. I will cover those separately in another post if conditions warrant. Keep up with the Storm Prediction Center for the latest on this outbreak and any future severe weather events.

Further Reading

If you'd like to read more about the bigger tornado events this year, I covered them extensively here on The Vane. At one point, the site featured almost nothing but tornadoes for weeks on end. Here are some of the more interesting reads.

And, of course, make sure you have a weather radio in your home and office. It's a smoke alarm for the weather.

[Top image: AP | All maps/charts by the author]


You can follow the author on Twitter or send him an email.


Tuesday Night TV Has Given Up on the Cinema Altogether

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Tonight on TV you've got musical spectaculars for every taste, if you are among the lonely, and if you aren't there's a bunch of murders, an abundance of nuns, and the end of all secrets.

AT 8/7c.

  • Enjoy "Three Times the Pain" on ID's Motives & Murders, whatever the hell that means, followed by Murder Book, if you want two times the murders, in book form, or
  • Hit part two of the Bad Girls Club reunion, which promises to answer the question of whether Badness is something we naturally learn or something to which we must first aspire, or if you are in more of a sublime, less secular mood,
  • Take a Sacred Journey to Jerusalem on PBS, ignoring all the million question marks and asterisks in a pleasantly Republican fog, or split the diff with the rest of us and
  • Combine the sacred and profane by watching the One Direction TV Special on NBC. Harry Styles to be a very interesting person one of these days, I predict. Liam is never that interesting in any timeline, but he does continue to get hotter as he ages into a human man. The crystal ball reveals no more at this time.

AT 9/8c.

  • ABC has a special about what 2014 is and was all about, so that could be a fun bummer if you like bummers, or of course there's always the huge bummer of VH1's Bye Felicia!
  • NBC's all like, One Direction get you all revved up and ready to roll? Because get ready for a mind-bending journey into the erotic with... Michael Bublé!
  • Little Couple and Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills, two opposite things in every way you can imagine, face off against, uh
  • The Line, which I just looked up on the internet and I feel like Game Show Network is having some kind of breakdown.

"We have taken something most people dislike—waiting in line—and turned it into the most fun you have ever had, with cash, prizes and 500 new friends!"

What. We have taken something most people dislike and turned it into the most fun you have ever had. That thing? Standing in a line! Catch Debra Messing in Black Friday, the darkly funny miniseries coming next fall from Game Show Network. Tune into TLC this weekend for a special episode of Sex Sent Me to the Dentist. Love clipping the shit out of some coupons but hate actually redeeming them? Nat Geo Wild has your ass covered with its new series, Clip 'n Shred.

AT 10/9c.

  • Double Benched on USA, including guest appearances by Molly Shannon and Erinn Hayes, aka Dr. Lola Spratt. And hopefully they finally give Maria Bamford something to do. (Just kidding, they won't. Keep cashin' those checks, homegirl.)
  • Girlfriends' Guide continues doing whatever it's doing, I'm sure it's fine, whatever. Whatever, girlfriend, you do you. Write your own guide. I support you but only in theory.
  • And on AHC it's America: Facts vs. Fiction on the facts and fictions surrounding "Conquering the Sky," Chopped is a "Family Food Fight," ID's Crime to Remember remembers a crime in a spooky "Cabin in the Woods," and
  • LMN's Living in Secret comes to an end after four episodes, meaning it has ruined only eight lives, times however many people were also ruined by the secrets being revealed in each episode, for a total of somewhere between ten and forty lives, so good job LMN.
  • In real reality TV, though, it's the last two hours of The Sisterhood on Lifetime, and the second episode of Real World: Skeletons.

If you were already dumb enough to be on Real World I bet you would have some skeletons, so these idiots probably have some good ones. My skeleton would be nothing, just like, "Remember me, your babysitter from first grade? You were convinced I was secretly LeVar Burton and worked yourself up into a frothing meltdown when I wouldn't admit it?" My bad for noticing your star quality and assuming you'd done something with it, my apologies for cruising through an amazing exciting life, surrounded by imaginary celebrities. But I live for the kicks! Sorry you can't keep up!

At 11/10c., speaking of kicks, let's Watch What Happens: Live when the absolutely reasonable Anna Kendrick meets the insanely unreasonable Yolanda Foster while Andy Cohen gnaws his knuckles and hopes for the best. But if they do the thing with the cups, I'm out. I can't stand that.

Morning After is a mind-bending journey into the erotic for television appreciation and discussion online, brought to you by Gawker. Follow @GawkerMA and read more about it here.

NYPD Racial Profiling Captures Off-Duty Black Cops

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NYPD Racial Profiling Captures Off-Duty Black Cops

A new report from Reuters details an ongoing problem within the New York Police Department: off-duty black cops are often targets of racial profiling by white NYPD officers.

Among the officers surveyed—10 who are currently serving; 15 who are now retired—many admitted to "being pulled over for no reason, having their heads slammed against their cars, getting guns brandished in their faces, being thrown into prison vans and experiencing stop and frisks while shopping." In the most extreme instances, a select few admitted to having a gun pulled on them.

The recent rhetoric from Rudy Giuliani and NYPD union head Patrick Lynch—in the wake of the slain NYPD officers—warns about the dangerous, false belief that black people should fear and submit to the police. Who else believes this? Black cops.

So, what is being done about police-on-police racial profiling? Nothing, according to officers.

All but one said their supervisors either dismissed the complaints or retaliated against them by denying them overtime, choice assignments, or promotions. The remaining officers who made no complaints said they refrained from doing so either because they feared retribution or because they saw racial profiling as part of the system.

During Michael Bloomberg's tenure in office, the NYPD regularly profiled residents under the guise of Stop and Frisk and "Broken Windows" policing. The department's targets were usually black, Muslim, and Latino men and women. In August, a report by the New York Civil Liberties Union and the Daily News confirmed what many knew to be true for decades: the aggressive and disproportionate policing of communities of color.

Additionally, a 2010 New York State Task Force report on police-on-police shootings revealed that, from 1994 to 2009, "officers of color had suffered the highest fatalities in encounters with police officers who mistook them for criminals."

Of course, many police apologists will cite otherwise, arguing that crime is typically higher in communities of color and by stopping suspected offenders—even if mistaken—they are helping quell the possible threat of violence or wrongdoing.

"[If] you want to get into the essence of why certain groups are stopped more than others, then you only need to go to the crime reports and see which ethnic groups are listed more as suspects," former LAPD Chief Bernard Parks told Reuters. "That's the crime data the officers are living with."

But crime data rarely tells the full story. As Michelle Conlin noted:

A number of academics believe those statistics are potentially skewed because police over-focus on black communities, while ignoring crime in other areas. They also note that being stopped as a suspect does not automatically equate to criminality. Nearly 90 percent of blacks stopped by the NYPD, for example, are found not to be engaged in any crime.

[Image via AP]

A Christmas Eve Storm Will Cancel Flights, Make Family Visits Miserable

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A Christmas Eve Storm Will Cancel Flights, Make Family Visits Miserable

A significant storm is on the cusp of developing over the Gulf Coast this afternoon. Over the next day, the storm will rocket towards the Great Lakes and grow into a major wind, rain, and snow producer that promises to snarl holiday travel.

What's going on?

An existing low pressure system over Wisconsin is dragging a cold front across the southern United States at this hour, firing off some severe thunderstorms in Mississippi and Alabama. Spotters and weather radar have already confirmed one damaging tornado near Hattiesburg, Mississippi this afternoon, and more severe weather is possible through the nighttime hours.

Along the southern end of the existing cold front is a newly-formed center of low pressure that will cause all of the problems as we go into Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. The Weather Prediction Center analyzed the center of the low over southern Louisiana at noon local time, and the system will rapidly strengthen and dart towards the Ohio Valley and Great Lakes over the next 24 hours.

What will happen tomorrow?

A Christmas Eve Storm Will Cancel Flights, Make Family Visits Miserable

By 12:00 PM Central/11:00 AM Eastern tomorrow (pictured above), the storm will be producing heavy rain across the entire East Coast from southern Florida through Maine, with thunderstorms possible in the warm, unstable air mass ahead of the cold front. On the back side of the low, snow and an icy mix are possible from Missouri through Michigan.

How much snow will fall?

A Christmas Eve Storm Will Cancel Flights, Make Family Visits Miserable

The exact track of the low will determine who sees the most snow. Above is a map of forecast snowfall totals from the National Weather Service. Chicago looks like it's positioned to see the most white doom from this storm—if the band of heavy snow manages to set up right over the Windy City, some spots could see more than six inches of heavy, wet snow by Christmas morning.

We would normally see more snow from a system that forms around Christmas (because of that whole winter thing), but this storm is going to be so potent and so far to the west that it's dragging very warm, moist air up the length of the East Coast. High temperatures tomorrow will top out in the 60s as far north as Washington D.C. and Philadelphia, with upper 50s likely in Boston on Christmas morning.

What about rain?

A Christmas Eve Storm Will Cancel Flights, Make Family Visits Miserable

Elsewhere, wind and rain will be the big stories of the day. Most areas east of the Mississippi River will see a nice soaking, with one to three inches of rain expected by the end of the day on Friday. The most rain will occur closer to the Gulf Coast where thunderstorms are able to tap into a deeper supply of atmospheric moisture.

How strong will the wind get?

Wind is going to be a big issue on Christmas Eve, especially in areas closest to the track of the low. Locations from the Ohio Valley through the Great Lakes will see the worst winds, with gusts up to and over 50 MPH likely at times. The gusts will cause issues in areas that have saturated ground or heavy snow on trees and power lines. It's not a stretch to say that some people will wake up without power on Thursday morning.

High wind watches and warnings are in effect for eastern Michigan and the shores of Lakes Erie and Ontario, and these will likely be expanded west tonight or tomorrow. A wind advisory is in effect for much of the Ohio Valley as well, for wind gusts that could exceed 50 MPH at times.

Will my flight get cancelled?

That's always a tricky question to answer during a situation like this. The storm will very likely affect air travel tomorrow, especially around Chicago, Detroit, and Cincinnati, all of which are hubs for various airlines. Weather at your departing, connecting, and arrival airports could all have an impact on whether your flight is delayed or cancelled, but it doesn't end there. Many planes can go through five or six segments in a day, and any delays or cancellations down the line could affect your flight. One airplane getting stuck in Chicago, for instance, could trigger six cancellations down the line for all of the flights it was supposed to complete later in the day. It's the domino effect from hell.

Heavy rain and low clouds are enough of a wrench to throw into flight plans to begin with, but when you add the potential for thunderstorms, gusty winds, and even snow into the mix, it will definitely have an impact on air travel. Expect the worst delays out of ORD, MDW, DTW, and CVG on Wednesday, with congestion and residual delays and cancellations at the big East Coast hubs like ATL, IAD, DCA, and the NYC-area airports, especially once the rain and poor visibility sets in.

Will Santa crash?

Santa will not crash. They recently upgraded Rudolph's bright nose so he has the most advanced reindeer technology, complete with on-board radar and a wind shear detection system. He will be able to find you and deliver your lump of coal right on time. Heathen.

[Images: NASA, WPC, NWS, WPC]


You can follow the author on Twitter or send him an email.

Hayden Panettiere Now "Limping Around" After Pregnancy Drained Her Life

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Hayden Panettiere Now "Limping Around" After Pregnancy Drained Her Life

Tiny actress Hayden Panettiere was pregnant with boxer Wladimir Klitschko's giant baby for what seemed like an eternity, until she gave birth on December 9. It appears now that her trials are not over. Panettiere tells People, "I'm limping around. I'm still trying to figure out what [pregnancy] has done to my body..."

The 25-year-old star explains she is struggling to comprehend what happened to her as she transitioned into motherhood. It's "such a surreal experience and so out of body," she says. "You're suddenly looking at this little thing like, 'Oh, that was you in my belly this whole time.'"

She continues:

I'm limping around. I'm still trying to figure out what [pregnancy] has done to my body, how it's changed it. What's temporary and what's permanent. I feel like an 80-year-old woman trying to go down the stairs, you know, please tell me this is temporary. But I know some things will never be the same again.

Some things will never be the same again.

Luckily, baby Kaya is cute. Hayden notes, "She's really so sweet. I'm sure that's the way it's meant to be, because when they are putting you through the ringer you're like, 'You are so lucky you're cute!'"

[Photo via Getty]

How to Buy Gold, Frankincense, & Myrrh: A Purist's Christmas Gift Guide

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How to Buy Gold, Frankincense, & Myrrh: A Purist's Christmas Gift Guide

In a world filled with many too many objects, nothing makes people want to use one of appropriate shape and size to gouge out their own eyes more than holiday shopping.

A life-sized plush panda (seated, man-made fur) costs $1,499.99 from FAO Schwarz. Is that an appropriate gift for your child's music teacher? Pantone's 2015 Color of the Year is "Marsala," but what if you buy Marsala for your nephew and he becomes addicted to this color? Dog heart pills cost $42.49 from 1800petmeds.com—but does your mom even have a dog's heart?

Used to be, shoppers only had a trio of Christmas gifts to choose from, and if you were a very lucky baby you'd get all three.

This is a gift guide for the most discerning of shoppers. For the Christmas purist. For the person who wants to strip Christmas down to its bleached bare bones. For the shopper who wants to give gifts that are clean and rad and powerful.


Traditional Christmas Gift: Frankincense ($11.35/lb)

How to Buy Gold, Frankincense, & Myrrh: A Purist's Christmas Gift Guide

You may be thinking that something you can get a pound of for under $12 is not a nice gift to give to anyone, let alone the King of the Jews. This is true—people in Biblical times did not have as good of manners as we do. But another thing to consider is that, 2,000 years ago, frankincense was some of the most expensive stuff you could buy. (For more on the long histories of all three of the Magi's offerings, check out this Slate article.) When Caspar made his gift of frankincense to the Christ child, it was roughly equivalent, in terms of cachet and age-appropriateness, to giving a baby a midnight blue Aston Martin.

Scholars continue to debate precisely what, if any, symbolism was intended to be conveyed by Magi's gifts. In ancient Judea, Frankincense was used as both an incense burned for religious purposes (maybe the Wise Men wanted to convey Jesus' holiness) and a perfume (maybe they wanted him to be a nice-smelling baby). Today, many commercial fragrances are still made with frankincense, including Tom Ford's Tuscan Leather, which I recently smelled on my coworker Rich Juzwiak. It was divine. (He smelled like Christ.) As its name implies, Frankincense also continues to be burned as frank incense, in its resin form.

Actual frankincense: Amazon reviewers laud Madina-frankincese-1 lb ($11.25) as "appears to be the best frankincense available on Amazon," "decent for the price paid," and "OK." One reviewer asks if they can put it in water and drink it. Nope, but impressive survivalist instincts! Another gives the product five stars, but cautions that he was raised a Methodist.

Modern equivalent: If Caspar were caught in a last minute fix in 2014, he might buy Nicki Minaj's perfume ($25.32 for 3.4 oz), to make any baby or adult smell great

Acceptable alternatives: Rees's [sic] Holiday Giant Peanut Butter Cups, 1-Pound ($11.99), which is, pound for pound, a more luxurious gift than frankincense in modern-day America; Life-Size Plush Sitting Panda (man-made fur, giftwrap not available) ($1499.99) which is expensive.


Traditional Christmas Gift: Myrrh ($9.19/ Fl oz)

How to Buy Gold, Frankincense, & Myrrh: A Purist's Christmas Gift Guide

In Jesus' time, myrrh was commonly used as an embalming fluid, which makes it a morbid little gift to give to a baby. Like frankincense, myrrh's woody scent is still frequently incorporated into perfumes today. It is also sometimes used as an antiseptic in hippie-dippy homemade mouthwash.

Actual Myrrh: If you're in the myrrhket to buy some myrrh, people lo-o-o-ve NOW Foods Myrrh 100% pure, 20 % Oil blend, 1 ounce ($9.19). Although it is sold by a company called "NOW Foods," Amazon reviews are quick to note this essential oil is not now, and will never be, foods. "NOT a FOOD!" writes one of the many five-star reviewers. "DO NOT EAT THIS!!" Why are people always trying to eat every single thing they buy? I'm tired of it. Although it is not recommended to eat NOW Foods inedible myrrh oil blend, one thing gift recipients might consider is smearing it on their gums, slick with ruby red blood. "Heals dog's gums," boasts one reviewer. "I started using this product on my dog's bleeding gums." Another reviewer notes that it soothes human gums as well.

Modern equivalent: AF28 Arterial embalming fluid ($23), to keep your loved ones looking fresh to death in death. [Note: "Only personnel working for deathcare businesses, organizations and universities are permitted to purchase embalming fluids from MortuaryMall.com."]

Acceptable alternatives: Cool Mint Listerine Pocketpacks 288 Breath Strips ($16.99), which are the cool mint alternative to homemade myrrh mouthwash; Plush Giraffe - Extra Large (69" L x 19.75" W x 94.5" H) ($899.99), which is very expensive.


Traditional Christmas Gift: Gold ($12,462.84/10 oz bar)

How to Buy Gold, Frankincense, & Myrrh: A Purist's Christmas Gift Guide

Jesus loved goooooooold. Or did he? Not really in line with his doctrine of humility, but I suppose we'll never really know what his personal tastes were. To modern observers of Christmas, gold is the only gift given to Jesus that really makes sense, or can be easily spelled. Gold is a great gift for babies, who can use it to pay for college textbooks. It is also the perfect gift to give to a rich person or king, because it is flashy luxury for flashy luxury's sake. Gold is a gift that says "I know you don't need this gold, but also that you have somewhere to put it."

Actual Gold: There is not much actual gold for sale on Amazon, but two buyers have recommended the 2014 American Gold Eagle (1/10 oz) $5 BU U.S. Mint ($161.17), a gold coin called a "nice gold coin" by one reviewer. "Everything was great," writes the other. Shoppers should avoid 1 Troy Ounce 24k Howling Wolf Yosemite National Park Half Dome 100 Mills Gold Clad Ingot Bar Design- World Treasures Mint ($150) ("Lithium Metal batteries required," Amazon helpfully informs buyers), which is "not real gold bullion" and "worthless." (It is, appropriately for the Christ child, "prestigious, the relief on the front of the wolf howling is in amazing detail.")

Modern equivalent: Gold iPhone 6 (128GB, Unlocked) ($1,049.00), the only gift except for a gold bar that combines the luxury, status, and clean lines of a gold bar with the overall color of a gold bar.

Acceptable alternatives: 7.1" 14K Yellow Gold Pandora® bracelet from Jared ($1,4775.00 pre-charms); Plush Mechanical Bactrain Ride-On Camel (featuring movable head) ($3,990.00), which is very expensive.

[Top image by Jim Cooke, photos via hansatoystore and shutterstock]

The History of Virgin Births

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The History of Virgin Births

Zebedee spends her days largely alone, nervously swimming in a clear aquarium, there for the entertainment of tourists dining at Abu Dubai's Burj Al Arab hotel. Surrounded by only a few fish, with nary a male shark in sight, Zebedee has defied biology. For the last four years, the tiger shark has experienced so-called "virgin births." Zebedee, it seems, is a misandrist's dream; she reproduces parthenogenetically, meaning that her embryos are developed from eggs unfertilized by male sperm. Her offspring are nearly identical to her, and their unique DNA structure is the result of her own DNA recoded and recombined during reproduction; they are so genetically close to their mother that they are nearly clones.

While Zebedee's large number of virgin births is a rarity, the process itself is not quite as unusual. Parthenogenesis has been observed in honey bees, crayfish, birds, another shark in Detroit. Flora, a Komodo dragon in Chester, England, hatched her own tiny miracles in time for Christmas. There is almost an entire animal kingdom born of virgins.

The biological reasons for parthenogenesis are not widely understood. Some scientist have suggested that the reproductive process might be an evolutionary adaptation—a method by which the female of a species can re-populate and maintain their entire species without their male counterparts. Perhaps it's biology's poetry; a colony of women reproducing an entire species sounds almost like the plot of a Doris Lessing novel.

Parthenogenesis—from Greek, literally meaning "virgin birth"—is compelling because it disturbs, it inverts so much of what we understand to be natural reproduction. It's also deeply imbued with a kind of mysticism tied, as the virgin birth is, to origin stories of gods.

But Zebedee's children are not gods. They are fragile and their survival is threatened by the very process that made them. But yet they fascinate; their very presence speaks to the possibility of earthly divinity. And the body of their mother—of the female who reproduces parthenogenetically—represents something even more coveted: the miraculous interweaving of sexual purity with reproduction.

Unlike virgin births in humans, Zebedee's births are not miraculous; they have been quantified and observed, there are rational hypotheses. There is no debate about the reality of parthenogenesis. No one argues over whether or not the process is real, a myth or a metaphor.

There is no evidence that a mammal have ever reproduced by this method; as far as scientists are concerned, it's a process strictly for birds, sharks and dragons. And yet, human virgin birth underpins most of the world's major religions and is repeated in hoards of origins stories about great men. The virgin birth is central to the way in which we construct important men—men of genius—men who are so powerful, so pure that they are untainted by the sexuality of women.

Mary is, of course, the ur-virgin. A poor, young Jewish girl visited by an angel, chosen by an omnipotent god to bear his child. The pregnancy was meant to be a gift, a blessing for the blessed among women. But her purity also bore on her son—without a human father, the son of God was freed from original sin, born into perfection.

But Mary's blessing was not quite enough for later followers. A virgin birth alone wasn't nearly sufficient to secure her status as a woman worthy of adoration. So around the fourth century the Catholic Church began to support the concept of Mary's perpetual virginity. By the seventh century, the doctrine of the so-called "ever virgin" became central to Catholic liturgy. If her son could redeem all of mankind, then Mary's virginity could right the wrongs of Eve. Her purity could provide a redemptive path to sinful women.


The virgin birth is central to the way in which we construct important men: men of genius, men who are so powerful and so pure that they are untainted by the sexuality of women.


The History of Virgin Births

It's a doctrine born of a certain understanding of a woman's worth, one that understands that value as inherently paradoxical. To be in possession of virginity, but to bear a child; to be sexually untainted, but to be a mother; to be a subservient wife, yet to be chaste. It's an impossible standard against which to measure: the Virgin Mary's intactness is something to strive for yet never achieve. And it wasn't only the Catholic Church who offered this singular paradox as an example to women: Martin Luther affirmed the doctrine, as did John Wesley, the founder of the Methodist church.

But the cultural longing for virgin birth is by no means the sole domain of Christianity. In Egypt, Queen Mautmes was visited by the ibis-headed Thoth, the messenger of the gods, and told that she would soon bear a son despite the fact that she was a virgin. Mautmes's virgin pregnancy was so revered that celebratory scenes were carved on the walls of Luxor Temple. There, she is escorted by both the holy spirit Kneph and the goddess Hathor to a cross symbolizing life; in the following scenes, she gives birth and her son Amen-hetep is enthroned. At his feet he receives the gifts of three men; he is worshipped.

A familiar story that long pre-dates Mary, Mautmes too was an ever virgin.

The History of Virgin Births

And there is Hera, queen of Olympus, who renewed her virginity every year in the holy waters of Kanathos. She spurned her adulterous husband (and the attention of mortal men), holding tightly to the moral authority that her virginity granted her. Hera scarified sex; in return she was rewarded with a son.

There is also Kausalya, the virgin mother of Rama, an avatar of Vishnu. There's the venerated Queen Maya of Nepal who, during a vision, was visited by a white elephant carrying a lotus in his trunk. The white elephant walked into her womb and reemerged on earth as the Buddha.

Virgins have given birth to the godheads of nearly every major religion. But it's a particular kind of motherhood: these mythical virgins never give birth to other women, and in the rare cases when they give birth to mortals, the men are far from ordinary. Genghis Khan was born to a virgin, stories say, as was Plato: he, according to Diogenes Laertius, was the son of Apollo.


Virgins have given birth to the godheads of nearly every major religion. It's a particular motherhood: these mythical virgins never give birth to other women.


Perhaps the most entertaining of virgin birth stories comes from the Greek biographer Plutarch who, hundreds of years after Alexander the Great's death, recounted the king's conception:

Before the night when her [Olympias, Alexander's mother] marriage with Philip was consummated, that there was a clap of thunder, that a bolt fell upon her womb, and that from the stroke a great fire was kindled, and then, breaking out in all directions into sparks, was quenched; then later, after the marriage, Philip saw himself in a dream placing a seal over his wife's womb; and the carving of the seal, as he thought, had the figure of a lion; and when the other seers viewed the vision with suspicion, as meaning that Philip should keep careful watch over things concerning his marriage, Aristander of Telmessus said that the woman was with child (since nothing that was empty required a seal) and that she would bring forth a son who would be high-spirited and like a lion in his nature. And so on one occasion there appeared also a serpent stretched out beside Olympias' body as she slept, and they say this especially dulled the love of Philip and his ardor so that he did not thereafter often approach her—either because he feared certain sorceries that might be practiced upon him, or because he avoided her on the ground that she belonged to one greater than he.

Whether or not the suggestively-named Olympias remained a perpetual virgin is unknown, Plutarch flirts at the suggestion with the "dulled love" of her husband who apparently found snakes and sorcery a turn-off. Other historians repeat Plutarch's story, though later embellishments make direct connections between Alexander's incarnation and his potent earthly power.

In one account, Olympias finally tells Alexander the secret of his birth right before he embarks on a military campaign. She suggests to her son that he show spirit worthy of such an origin. After all, she had endured claps of thunder and lightning bolts to her womb; conquering North Africa and Asia was the least he could do.

The History of Virgin Births

Virgin birth narratives are almost always triangular in structure: virginity makes you worthy of pregnancy, pregnancy is given as a reward, and the woman's value is both retained by her virginity and enriched by motherhood. Sex, too, is replaced with a series of metaphors: elephants, ibises, angels, bolts and claps. Conception, though always pleasureless, does not come quietly to the virgin mother—it is the primary event, so much so that it eclipses both the pain of birth and the nine months of gestation. (Because pregnancy and birth are the mundane labor of women, it's of little surprise that conception itself would be more valued, more important to mystical and miraculous narratives.)

Somehow, the value of women's virginity has hardly diminished since Mautmes was visited by an ibis-headed deity. Virginity still implies purity and innocence from sexual experiences and desire; it's still seen as a natural and necessary state for unmarried women. Think of how we utilize the language of virginity—a major life event, where body parts are broken or popped. We frame a singular sex act as an irrevocable loss; a violent subtraction of the whole rather than as a gain or addition.

And virginity is redemptive, but it's also regenerative. Think of poor Zebedee in her tank, swimming for the entertainment of wealthy tourists. Her biological anomalies are meant to repopulate an entire species, to restore a community that she thinks lost. In the 16th century, Hungarian countess Erzsebeth Bathory believed that she could preserve her beauty and her youth by bathing in the blood of virgins, who she sacrificed by the hundreds, slitting their throats and hanging them like animals in a butcher shop.

The virgin birth, despite its impossible paradoxes, is still very much with us. According to a recent longitudinal study published in the British Medical Journal, there were 45 virgin births reported in the United States between 1995 and 2008. Nearly .5% of the sample claimed divine intervention, not sex, as the source of their pregnancy. It's an astonishing statistic, one that speaks to the way in which mythological narratives continue to mold women's sexuality. Most of the women who claimed virgin births were from deeply religious households and had signed a chastity pledge. They were also unmarried.

It seems astonishing that, in the 20th and 21st centuries, that women would choose to cleave to the myth of virgin birth rather than simply acknowledge that a pregnancy was the result of out of wedlock sex. But maybe it's not. A married mother seems to retain something of virginity's purity. It's why Kim Kardashian could be publicly scolded for posing nude. "You're someone's mother," wrote Naya Rivera, a familiar chorus meant to hem in the sexual acts of women who are meant to shed their sexuality once a child arrives, to robe themselves in the blue of the sweet Virgin Mary. And it's why single mothers—particularly women of color—are marked as degenerates. Single fathers are heroic; single mothers are fodder for presidential debates because their sexuality is publicly owned, their children marked by the sin from which they were born.

It might be easy to scoff at women who would still proclaim their pregnancies to be the result of divine intervention, to roll our eyes and advocate for broader more accessible sex education. But perhaps those 45 women were onto something; perhaps they understood that people would rather take the Virgin Mary in all her impossibilities than the single mother, who instead of being honored is marked.

Stassa Edwards is a freelance writer and editor.

Top image by Jim Cooke. Images in text: Birth of Christ in the Cornaro Missal, c. 1600; Annunciation Scene, Luxor Temple; Giulio Romano, Jupiter and Olympias, Fresco in the Palazzo del Te, 1526-1534

Additional Reading:

Hanne Blank, Virgin: The Untouched History, 2008

Laura Carpenter, "Gender and the Meaning and Experience of Virginity Loss in the Contemporary United States," Gender and Society, 2002

Aarathi Prasad, Like a Virgin: How Science is Redesigning the Rules of Sex, 2012

ISIS Shoots Down F-16 From U.S.-Led Colalition, Captures Pilot

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ISIS Shoots Down F-16 From U.S.-Led Colalition, Captures Pilot

On Wednesday, ISIS militants in Syria shot down a F-16 fighter jet from the U.S.-led coalition and captured its Jordanian pilot.

Jordan confirmed the crash, which took place near near Raqqa, in northern Syria, and identified the pilot as Moaz Youssef al-Kasasbeh, a 24-year-old lieutenant. ISIS "bears responsibility" for al-Kasasbeh's safety, according to NPR's translation of Jordan's official statement.

An ISIS-affiliated Twitter account posted the above photo, claiming it showed al-Kasabeh shortly after his capture. The pilot's uncle, retired Jordanian Maj. Gen. Fahd al-Kasabeh, told CNN the man in the photo is his nephew.

The Syrian Observatory for Human Rights, a monitoring group in the region, claims that ISIS used anti-aircraft missiles captured from Iraqi and Syrian military bases to take down the jet, according to the New York Times.


Two Men Rob Woman, Throw Acid On Her Face in New Delhi

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Two Men Rob Woman, Throw Acid On Her Face in New Delhi

The Associated Press reports that a woman in New Delhi, India was the victim of assault and robbery when two unnamed men threw acid on her face and then stole her purse as they drove by on a motorcycle. Police reported the incident to the press on Wednesday.

The woman suffered serious injuries from the acid attack—the motive of which is unknown—and the men were able to get away on their motorcycle. According to the report, the attack happened in a busy neighborhood in New Delhi.

Via the AP:

The attack was captured on closed-circuit TV and was being investigated, police officer Suresh Chand said. It took place Tuesday when the two masked men rode past the woman in a crowded shopping area and brazenly flung acid at her face.

Authorities are investigating the incident, which left the woman with a severely burned face and damage to her right eye.

[Image via AP]

Report: Selena Gomez Brought Cara Delevingne Home for Christmas

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Report: Selena Gomez Brought Cara Delevingne Home for Christmas

According to TMZ, Selena Gomez brought Cara Delevingne to her family's home in Texas for Christmas. Huh. Reminds me of a favorite holiday poem.

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through Selena Gomez's parents' house in Texas
Not a creature was stirring, not even Selena Gomez;
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that Cara Delevingne soon would be there;
The Gomezes were nestled all snug in their beds;
While visions of going to the North Park Mall in Dallas the next day danced in their heads;
Selena in her whatever, who knows, maybe a cap,
Had just freed her brain of Justin Bieber, god willing, what does she even see in him, I don't get it, for a long winter's nap,
When out on the sprawling, manicured lawn (I assume) there arose such a clatter,
Selena sprang from her bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window she flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
She didn't see anything, so she looked at her phone,
Yes—it seemed she was certainly no longer alone,
For w
hat to her wondering eyes did appear,
Cara Delevingne, for reasons that remain unclear,
I get that they're friends, I remember seeing them in St. Tropez,
Where they showered on a yacht for Selena's birthday
.
But Christmas? Why? I mean. What?,
TMZ doesn't explain it, not even somewhat.
"Selena ... brought along Cara," says the rag,
"
Selena and Cara hit up North Park Mall in Dallas"—brag.
To the top of the escalator! To the top of the mall!
Now shop away! shop away! shop away all!
As leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
The two shopped for bras—what didn't they buy?;
Then on to Nordstrom the buddies they flew
With a bag full of bras, and some other stuff too.
They giggled and shopped and talked and walked,
While all along a gossipy tipster stalked,
As he drew in his head, and was turning around,
Down the pedestrian walkway the ladies came with a bound.
Anyway, enough about the mall, what else can we say,
If only TMZ had given us more, I pray;
Back at the house, Selena introduced Cara,
"Oh, we know her," said her parents, I bet, "The model—she's a star(a)!"
Her eyes—how they twinkled! Her dimples, how merry!
Her cheeks were like roses, her nose like a cherry,
And her eyebrows, don't even get me started,
They're really good eyebrows, not for the fainthearted.
The marijuana cigarette she held tight in her teeth (I assume),
And the smoke, it encircled her head like a wreath;
She had a tiny face and a little flat belly
She shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly.
She was not chubby and plump, she's a model, remember,
She probably has to wear a lot of coats all throughout December;
A wink of her eye and a twist of her head
Soon let Selena know she had nothing to dread,
"Why is she here?", her mother whispered to dad,
"Not that having her around is particularly bad,"
"No, I know what you mean," said Selena's old pop,
"It seems like she just came here to shop?"
Which was weird and almost certainly untrue,
They have malls everywhere—in London, too.
But I heard her exclaim, as she drove out of sight—
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"

[image via Getty]

Sony Is Putting The Interview on YouTube Today

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Sony Is Putting The Interview on YouTube Today

Have you ever rented a movie on YouTube? Of course not—but if you feel like watching the controversial (and by all indications, very mediocre) assassination comedy The Interview, you might have to give Google your credit card. (UPDATED)

Update: By way of BBC reporter Dave Lee, a statement from Sony:

As of 10:00 a.m. PST, the film will be available to rent in HD on Google Play, YouTube Movies, Microsoft's Xbox Video and the dedicated website www.seetheinterview.com at a price of $5.99. The film can also be purchased in HD for $14.99.

CNN reports that in addition to a very limited release through a few hundred American movie theaters, Sony will make The Interview available as a YouTube rental—an option most Americans are not even aware of. This follows enough backpedaling back-backpedaling on Sony's part to provide electricity for most of Pyongyang—will they release it? When? Where? To how many people?

CNN's Brian Stelter notes that the YouTube move is "tentative" and that his "sources cautioned that the deal could still fall apart." No word yet on pricing, but if you feel like not laughing with your parents this Christmas, you can huddle together around the family laptop and stick it to North Korea, or whoever did it, I dunno.

Seinfeld Gives Rare Stand-Up Set as Holiday Gift to America on Fallon 

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When well-regarded automobile enthusiast Jerry Seinfeld stopped by at The Tonight Show last night, he did something he hardly does anymore: picked up the microphone and told a few jokes.

Seinfeld's brief stand-up set came just after Jimmy Fallon gave everyone in the audience a flat-screen TV for Christmas, and the comic used his host's generosity as a springboard to talk about the shiny, useless junk that piles up and quickly turns to garbage in homes across America during the holiday season.

"I wish there was a store where I could buy something, pivot, and just throw it down a chute into an incinerator," he says at one point, taking his familiar observational comedy into the realm of the bazillionaire he is. "Walk out, no bags—that's my perfect shopping experience."

Can You Smell What the Rock Is Karaoking?

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Perhaps feeling pressured to show up in the wake of his shorter costar's karaoke successes, Dwayne "The Rock" "Can u smell what the rock is cookin'" Johnson gave a try at some karaoke singing himself. On this morning's episode of LIVE With Kelly and Michael, a rock melted viewers' hearts with a go-get-em rendition of "Here Comes Santa Claus," featuring a cameo from everyone's favorite fat guy with a bag.

All done up in a onesie and a Santa hat, Mr. Johnson dedicated the song to a one Hugh Jackman. Merry Christmas, Hugh Jackman! What a nice gift your friend got you!

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