Earlier this week, the New York Times reported that Hillary Clinton had used a personal email address to conduct official State Department business. Today CNN reported that the Justice Department is planning to indict New Jersey Senator Bob Menendez on criminal charges of corruption. Except for the fact that Clinton and Menendez are both prominent Democrats, these two events would appear to be unrelated. But are they?

After word of Menendez’s impending indictment came down, a number of hawkish conservative commentators began floating theories suggesting that the negative stories about him and Clinton were deliberately planted by the Obama administration. According to these theories, the White House wants to punish Democrats for expressing hard-line stances against Iran—as both Clinton and Menendez have—and generate noise to distract American from the administration’s ongoing talks with the country over containing its nuclear capabilities.

This outré theory first bubbled up in a Friday morning column by Tablet contributor Lee Smith. The White House’s baffled response to Clinton’s private email address, Smith wrote, “had all the hallmarks of a well-organized political hit.” After noting that Gawker first reported Clinton’s use of a private address nearly two years ago, Smith continued:

So, why did it take the Obama Administration two years to admit to what was already known and to then suggest that Clinton's behavior was reckless and may have even been criminal? And why did it take so long for a major news organization like the New York Times to come up with the big “scoop” it published earlier this week? ...

This week’s tarring of Hillary Clinton is part of the White House’s political campaign to shut off debate about its hoped-for deal. It’s not hard to see why they’re anxious. With Netanyahu’s speech forcing lawmakers and editorial writers to face up to the proposed agreement’s manifest problems, the administration fears the prospect of Democrats jumping ship and signing on to Kirk-Menendez sanctions legislation that also would give Congress oversight on the deal. So far, the White House has managed to keep Democratic lawmakers in line, no matter how much they seem to question the wisdom of the proposed deal. Hillary Clinton, gearing up for a 2016 run in which she is likely to put some distance between herself and Obama’s dubious Middle East policies, is the one major national Democratic figure who can give Democrats in Congress cover.

The initial reaction to Smith’s column was...mixed. “Hmmmmmmmmmmm,” the managing director of The Israel Project, Omri Ceren, tweeted. David Frum, a senior editor at The Atlantic, called Smith’s column “fascinatingly paranoid.”

The tepid response likely arose from the fact that Smith’s column didn’t make a lot of sense. It is true that, in 2008, Clinton said she was prepared to “totally obliterate” Iran if it ever attacked Israel. Five weeks ago, however, she endorsed the Obama administration’s opposition to a Senate bill that would place various sanctions on Iran in the case that the administration fails to reach a nuclear deal with the country by June 30. The suggestion that Obama would punish Clinton for publicly agreeing with him is bizarre.

But that was before the news about Senator Bob Menendez came out. It just so happens that Menendez co-authored, with Illinois Senator Mark Kirk, the same Iran sanctions bill that the Obama administration opposes. After CNN’s report about the coming charges against him, Colin Campbell of Business Insider points out, several other conservative figures started hinting that something sinister was afoot:

Amazing timing, that DOJ nails Sen. Bob Menendez, D-N.J., right after he becomes the loudest critic of Obama's Iran deal.

— jimgeraghty (@jimgeraghty) March 6, 2015

Shoulda backed the Iran deal http://t.co/ZsBcIBGnET

— Allahpundit (@allahpundit) March 6, 2015

January Menendez: "Obama's Iran Talking Points 'Straight Out of Tehran'" March Menendez: Charged with corruption. #justsaying

— Tammy Bruce (@HeyTammyBruce) March 6, 2015

Re @SenatorMenendez charges: DoJ better have good explanation of timing of charges against #1 Dem critic of Iran deal. Otherwise, BHO=RMN.

— Bret Stephens (@StephensWSJ) March 6, 2015

The strongest (and most telling) reaction belonged to Michael Goldfarb, a former John McCain staffer, a board member of the Emergency Committee for Israel, and the founder of the Washington Free Beacon:

They charge Menendez two weeks before the Iran deal is announced? I’m sure that’s just a coincidence.

— Michael Goldfarb (@thegoldfarb) March 6, 2015

Menendez prob is guilty—but they held it over him to keep him in line, and dropped the charges just before the deal…real abuse of power.

— Michael Goldfarb (@thegoldfarb) March 6, 2015

Menendez was never going to save us from a bad Iran deal. And he seems more corrupt than the average Senator. But this looks like politics.

— Michael Goldfarb (@thegoldfarb) March 6, 2015

Goldfarb’s suspicions aren’t necessarily new. Last year, he noted that the F.B.I.’s decision to reopen its investigation into Menendez coincided with Menendez’s legislative activity concerning Iran:

FBI suddenly reopens investigation into "saboteur senator" Menendez just before they come back to town to push for a sanctions vote. Hmmm...

— Michael Goldfarb (@thegoldfarb) January 24, 2014

Even compared to Lee Smith’s Clinton conspiracy theory, Goldfarb’s theory about Obama punishing Menendez doesn’t make much sense either. The F.B.I. first opened an investigation into the Senator’s alleged corruption in March 2013 (some months after the Daily Caller erroneously reported that Menendez had been credibly accused of soliciting prostitutes in the Dominican Republic). But it wasn’t until December 2013 that Menendez and Senator Mark Kirk introduced the first draft of their bill calling for sanctions on Iran. For Goldfarb’s theory to work, the Obama administration would have had to possess the foreknowledge, in March 2013, that Menendez would defy the White House by seeking official sanctions against Iran later that year. (And even then: Why would Obama go after a member of his own party when he could go after Kirk—a Republican?)

Let’s not forget, of course, that it was Goldfarb and his ideological allies who loudly demanded that Menendez be brought to justice in the first place:

Borderline criminal that the press has let the Menendez scandal fester this long without any real attention—except mocking the Daily Caller

— Michael Goldfarb (@thegoldfarb) January 31, 2013

The same principle applies to Hillary Clinton: The people arguing that Obama is running interference with stories about her private email address are precisely the same people who would otherwise relish in anything that embarrasses the former Secretary of State. Indeed, the clearest proof against the right’s broader theory about Obama punishing his own party is the fact that it’s compelled Goldfarb, an entertainingly militant anti-Clinton political operative, to sympathize with Clinton herself:

.@LeeSmithTWS conspiracy theory on the Clinton emails looking more plausible by the minute.

— Michael Goldfarb (@thegoldfarb) March 6, 2015

Give Goldfarb credit where it’s due: At least he admits it’s a conspiracy theory.

Email the author: trotter@gawker.com · Photo credit: Getty Images

A new lawsuit in the Bronx claims that two cops in the 52nd precinct forced a mentally handicapped janitor, who had been working at the station for 23 years, to wear a shirt that said "I'm dope" so they could photograph and ridicule her. In a deposition, the woman says that she didn't know what the shirt said.

Hannah Biggan claims in the suit that the two cops—Nicholas Konner and John Repetti—brought the shirt to her one morning in May of 2013, saying that it was too big for one of them, and that they'd like to give it to her. Biggan says she then put it in her locker. Later, Konner and Repetti came up to Biggan, asked her to put the shirt on, then proceeded to ridicule her. From the New York Post:

Biggan put the shirt in her locker and went back to work — not knowing she was being ridiculed, the suit says. Later that afternoon, Konner and Repetti allegedly told her to get the shirt and put it on.

Repetti then used his cellphone to snap a photo of her standing alongside Konner, as both men laughed, the suit says.

When the men asked Biggan if she could read the shirt, she told them that she couldn't read. She said she tried to read the words but she couldn't. When she went home later, wearing the shirt, her sister Maryann told her what it meant:

"When I got home, my sister Maryann told me what it said . . . And I got really depressed and ­angry at them for doing that to me because I've never done anything bad to them."

Biggan grew depressed after the incident, and was suicidal, causing her to take leave from her job for so long that she was no longer getting paid. The lawsuit claims there was discrimination against her and implicates the city, the two cops, and her supervisor, who reportedly did nothing after the incident was reported.

[Image via New York Post]

Cathy Woods, a 67-year-old woman who was charged with the 1976 Reno, Nevada, stabbing murder of Michelle Mitchell, will go free thanks to new DNA evidence. Woods was imprisoned for more than 30 years.

Washoe County District Attorney Chris Hicks announced today that he will not pursue a retrial for Woods, whose 1985 conviction was dismissed in September, the Associated Press reports. The charges against Woods, originally brought in 1980, were based on a confession that prosecutors now evidently believe was false.

DNA evidence found on a cigarette butt at the crime scene points to a man named Rodney Halbower, who was recently charged in a string of San Francisco murders from the same time period, and was previously charged with rape and attempted murder, according to the FBI and Woods' attorney.

Woods made the confession that led to her imprisonment in 1979 while she was a patient at a psychiatric hospital in Louisiana, claiming that she killed "a girl named Michelle," the Reno-Gazette journal reports. She later recanted, and now says she doesn't remember making the confession, her public defender Maizie Pusich said.

"I'm told it was a product of wanting to get a private room," Pusich told the AP. "She was being told she wasn't sufficiently dangerous to qualify, and within a short period she was claiming she had killed a woman in Reno."

Image via AP. Contact the author at andy@gawker.com.

On Friday night, a police officer in Madison, Wisconsin shot and killed a black 19-year-old named Anthony "Tony" Robinson, Reuters reports. An initial search of the scene indicated that Robinson was unarmed.

Madison Police Chief Mike Koval told reporters that, around 6:30 p.m., the officer responded to complaints of a disturbance. Koval said Madison police had received calls about a man who had "battered someone" and who had gone out into the street, disrupting traffic.

Koval said that the responding officer heard a "disturbance" in an apartment and forced his way in, where, after "mutual combat," the officer shot Robinson in the head, the Los Angeles Times reports. Robinson died of his wounds at a hospital.

"The initial finding at the scene did not reflect a gun or anything of that nature that would have been used by the subject," Koval said.

The Wisconsin State Journal reports that demonstrators from the Young, Gifted and Black Coalition gathered at the scene of the shooting, eventually making their way to the Madison City County building.

Protesters moving from scene of #Madison officer-involved shooting to downtown city-county building. #WKOW pic.twitter.com/jlbfMJZG4F

— Ed Reams (@edreamsWKOW) March 7, 2015

Mayor Paul Soglin told the Journal that there would be an outside investigation of the shooting, in addition to the one conducted by the state Department of Justice's Division of Criminal Investigation.

Madison, WI sit in at city county building! #BlackLivesMatter #FergusonToMadison pic.twitter.com/F0u5Ur2HLM

— Jfr3$h (@JessforPrezz) March 7, 2015

17-year-old Jack Spaulding, who said he was one of Robinson's best friends, described the slain man as "one of the happiest people I know." Spaulding told the Journal, "I still can't even fully wrap my head around this."

[Image via @elisabethepps/Twitter]

On Saturday, Russian authorities announced that they had detained two suspects in connection with the brazen daytime slaying of former deputy prime minister Boris Y. Nemtsov, The New York Times reports.

Federal Security Service chief Alexander Bortnikov named the suspects as as Anzor Kubashev and Zaur Dadayev, residents of the North Caucasus region that has long rebelled against Russian rule.

Many expressed skepticism over the announcement, as Russian authorities have frequently used the largely Muslim Caucasian minority as a "convenient scapegoat" for the country's troubles.

Unexpected restraint from Putin not to pin the Nemtsov murder on a network gay Nazi Chechens working for the EU and al Qaeda.

— David Frum (@davidfrum) March 7, 2015

Shocker - Russia arrests Chechens in Murder of Boris Nemtsov. Ruled out Elders of Zion, CIA and Paris Hilton http://t.co/oAaypyn1FD

— Rob Cox (@rob1cox) March 7, 2015

Previously, opposition leader Vladimir Milov alleged that Putin's government was connected to the killing. For their part, federal investigators suggested that Islamic extremists or even fellow members of the opposition could be behind the murder.

[Image via AP Images]

At around 10 a.m. this morning, there was "a loud noise" heard outside the White House. Shortly afterward, the White House went on lockdown. Additionally, at around the same time, a nearby food truck caught on fire and a bomb-sniffing dog detected "something" on a suspicious vehicle. Which, if any, of these events are connected? Reports differ.

So this fire just broke out right outside the White House.... pic.twitter.com/jxMdPIgmRI

— Will Sweet (@will_sweet1) March 7, 2015

Loud noise triggers security alert at White House http://t.co/ulK7FS4KDA

— Huffington Post (@HuffingtonPost) March 7, 2015

#BREAKINGNEWS Fire outside White House prompts lockdown before President Barack Obama leaves for Selma http://t.co/H8zGrsOIks

— ABC7 Eyewitness News (@ABC7) March 7, 2015

A suspicious vehicle seems to have prompted the White House lockdown. More details: http://t.co/qxcAozxZDa

— USA TODAY (@USATODAY) March 7, 2015

According to Breaking News' Cory Bergman, the suspicious vehicle triggered the security alert and the loud noise was caused by the flaming food truck. The Associated Press reports there is "no indication" the two events are connected. Everyone, however, agrees on one thing: There was a loud noise at the White House.

UPDATE - 11:45 a.m.: A secret service spokesperson tells The New York Times that the lockdown was triggered by a bomb-sniffing dog "alert[ing] its handlers to examine a car" near the White House. The food vendor fire reportedly did not appear to be related.

Five suicide bomb explosions tore through the northeastern Nigerian city of Maiduguri, an official told the Associated Press. At least 54 people are dead and 143 wounded.

Agence France-Presse reported earlier that three bombings had left at least 33 people dead:

The first attack by a female suicide bomber at roughly 11:20 am (1020 GMT) killed 18 people at the Baga fish market, and another 15 were killed about an hour later at the Monday Market, said fisherman's union boss Abubakar Gamandi, in an account supported by other witnesses and a health worker.

While the militant Islamist group hasn't yet claimed responsibility for these most recent bombings, Boko Haram have laid siege to Maiduguri, a city of two million people, for the past several months, using a young girl as a suicide bomber in January.

Today marks the 50th anniversary of Bloody Sunday, the first of three marches that would spur the passage of the 1965 Voting Rights Act. Voter suppression among the black community was an unwritten law across the Jim Crow south in the first half of the 20th century, and Selma, a small town in the heart of Alabama, became a pivotal battleground in the fight for civil rights.

Together in January 1965, the Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee, the Dallas County Voters League, and the Southern Christian Leadership Conference rallied in Selma in an effort to remedy the segregationist practices that had become commonplace for blacks when attempting to vote: literacy tests, poll taxes, and the use of grandfather clauses. The activist organizations proposed a bold idea: march 54 miles from Selma to Montgomery, Alabama's state capitol, and demand blacks be given their constitutional right to vote.

The first march took place on March 7th. Led by Hosea Williams, James Bevel, John Lewis, Amelia Boynton, and others, some 600 protestors headed east toward the state capitol but were stopped by a mob of law enforcement at the Edmund Pettus Bridge. As marchers attempted to cross the bridge, police attacked with relentless fury. The New York Times captured the unimaginable mayhem: "Alabama state troopers and volunteer officers of the Dallas County sheriff's office tore through a column of Negro demonstrators with tear gas, nightsticks and whips here today to enforce Gov. George C. Wallace's order against a protest march from Selma to Montgomery."

Days later, on March 9th, Martin Luther King Jr. led a second march. It was also unsuccessful; no injuries, however, were caused.

But the horror of Bloody Sunday was too grave to ignore. The government could no longer turn its back to the movement, which was gaining momentum with each passing day.

On March 15th, standing before Congress, President Lyndon B. Johnson urged lawmakers to right the wrongs of America. "There is cause for hope and for faith in our democracy," he said. "There is no Negro problem, there is no Southern problem, there is no Northern problem, there is only an American problem."

Seeking the help of the federal government, Judge Frank M. Johnson sided with the SCLC and overturned Governor Wallace's injunction (he believed a mass march was a threat to public safety). Judge Johnson argued: "The law is clear that the right to petition one's government for the redress of grievances may be exercised in large groups... and these rights may be exercised by marching, even along public highways." So, on March 21st, 7,000 freedom fighters set out from Selma to Montgomery in one of the most historic protest marches in American history.

Four days later, on March 25, they reached the capitol. Before a crowd of 25,ooo people, King opened his speech like so:

King, flanked by his SCLC brethren, ended his speech with these now-historic words:

I know you are asking today, "How long will it take?" (Speak, sir) Somebody's asking, "How long will prejudice blind the visions of men, darken their understanding, and drive bright-eyed wisdom from her sacred throne?" Somebody's asking, "When will wounded justice, lying prostrate on the streets of Selma and Birmingham and communities all over the South, be lifted from this dust of shame to reign supreme among the children of men?" Somebody's asking, "When will the radiant star of hope be plunged against the nocturnal bosom of this lonely night, (Speak, speak, speak) plucked from weary souls with chains of fear and the manacles of death? How long will justice be crucified, (Speak) and truth bear it?" (Yes, sir) I come to say to you this afternoon, however difficult the moment, (Yes, sir) however frustrating the hour, it will not be long, (No sir) because "truth crushed to earth will rise again." (Yes, sir) How long? Not long, (Yes, sir) because "no lie can live forever." (Yes, sir) How long? Not long, (All right. How long) because "you shall reap what you sow." (Yes, sir)

How long? Not long, because the arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice.

The fight was not yet over, but on August 6, 1965, President Johnson signed the Voting Rights Act into law. "It is difficult to fight for freedom. But I also know how difficult it can be to bend long years of habit and custom to grant it," Johnson said before signing the bill. "There is no room for injustice anywhere in the American mansion. But there is always room for understanding toward those who see the old ways crumbling. And to them today I say simply this: It must come. It is right that it should come. And when it has, you will find that a burden has been lifted from your shoulders, too."

[Image via Getty]

On Friday, Jon Cruz, a social studies teacher and debate coach at the Bronx High School of Science, was arrested on child pornography charges, the New York Times reports. According to the criminal complaint, Cruz offered underage boys money to send him nude and otherwise suggestive photos using the messaging app Kik.

The complaint, filed in Federal District Court in Manhattan, alleges that Cruz paid three boys to send him photographs between August 2014 and February of this year, the Times reports. Two of the boys were 15-year-olds from New Mexico; one was a 14-year-old from upstate New York.

According to the New York Post, Cruz allegedly paid one of the boys in New Mexico $1,600 in Visa and American Express gift cards for nude photographs.

Cruz is charged with one count of production of child pornography, one count of receiving child pornography, and one count of possessing child pornography. The Times reports that he appeared in court on Friday but did not enter a plea, and was granted a $1 million personal recognizance bond.

Bronx Science's principal, Jean M. Donahue, wrote to parents on Friday, the Times reports, saying that Cruz "has been reassigned from the school at an alternate location where he will not be in contact with students."

According to his faculty biography—which has been removed from the Bronx High School of Science's website, but is still available here—Cruz taught AP United States Government & Politics with Economics. In 2013, the National Forensic League awarded Cruz the Coach of the Year prize.

Three months ago, I sat in my bed frustrated with myself. I was upset at all the life choices I'd made up until this point. Physically and mentally exhausted, I ran out to get an energy drink; I'd needed a caffeine-enriched charge to help meet a deadline. And then it happened: later, rushing to the bathroom, I tripped and went hip-first into my desk, knocking the energy drink onto my laptop, its red liquid bleeding into my keyboard.

Although the rest of the laptop was intact, the keyboard stopped working, which meant the assignment would have to be written on an iPhone.

I called the only person who felt right at the time: my mother. Sensing the urgency in my voice, she immediately asked, "What's wrong?" Before I went into detail, I made a request: "Can you please just listen to me and let me finish? I only want to get this out." "Okay, baby," she said.

The last twelve months have been trying. I'm either doing a lot of the things I've always longed to do or, if nothing else, inching closer to goals I've carried with me for as long as I can remember. But it has not come without certain costs. To freelance write for a living is to often play the role of a sadist to your emotions. I regularly joke to my friends and in interviews that I am a writer and bill collector.

Months ago, my bills amounted to several thousands. It was not an unusual situation for me, but one I was tired of dealing with and one I am actively working towards avoiding as I advance in my career. I'm in better standing now, but still paying back the debt I built working with media companies whose existence became the bane of mine.

It took several months for it to happen, but the anger that was boiling underneath finally gave way to the sadness buried even deeper. As the tears began to fall, my mom could not resist her natural inclination to fault my decisions. Crying has never been easy for me, and as soon as my mom interrupted, I stopped.

The exercise lasted less than 10 seconds.

As proud as she is of what I have accomplished, and what other achievements await, her vision for my life is different from the one I presently live. Ideally, I'd be working in a field more secure (finance, corporate law, medicine), one that would make all her sacrifices worth it. I would also be straight and married with kids. We'd all attend mass regularly, and she'd have us over for Sunday dinners. I might even be back in Houston. Maybe not directly under her, but close enough (in Houston, traveling long distances within the city limits is normal).

But I am none of these things. I will never be any of these things.

I came out to my mother in 2009 after I penned an essay about two black boys who hung themselves within the same month. They'd wanted to escape the anti-gay taunts, and the kind of world that supported such behavior, that haunted them. In writing the essay, my sexuality was a statement of fact; prior to this, my love of men only existed as speculation.

Her response to my coming out was nasty, and we didn't speak to her for weeks.

In February, I called her. Not much had changed since then, but I felt compelled to warn her that I was writing about being a black gay man, and that it would reach people she knew. A photo is going to be included, I said. (Translation: I look just like you and we bear the same surname; your co-workers, your friends, your sisters, and your girls at the beauty shop will all know I'm your son.) In telling her, I tried to be respectful about her beliefs. I tried to talk about God and difference of opinion. Regardless of how she feels, I told her, I do think God is using me, in some way, to help create dialogue.

"Am I happy that you're gay?" she responded. "No. I'm sorry it happened to you. Am I hurt that you're still gay? Yes, because I feel responsible."

I'm not sure why she feels responsible. In her mind, maybe she thinks me being gay is a response to me being raised in house that included a violent and volatile alcoholic father. I made peace with her rationale—"I thought you needed a father; I also did not want to end up on welfare"—a very long time ago.

Months passed before we spoke again.

When she heard me cry, she did what any mother would do: she attempted to provide comfort. But it only irritated me. It somehow became about my need to go to "God's house," after which she subtly suggested that my struggles were linked to my sexual urges. She then offered to pay to have my laptop fixed. Too proud, I declined. But she wouldn't accept it.

One thing I respect immensely about my mom is her faith. What she fails to grasp, however, is that the religion that saved her is my living hell. I don't necessarily know what I believe in anymore. When I pray, more times than not, I believe someone is listening. There are also the rare times I wonder if I'm talking to myself in the dark.

In a perfect world, my mom would embrace who I am as opposed to merely tolerating it. But I learned very early on in life that nothing is perfect. There are harsh truths we will be confronted with. Like, love may be unconditional, but it has its limitation. I've wrestled with the fact that I might have to distance myself from the person who gave birth to me.

I can't do that, though. We find fault in each other, but to further deepen the divide no longer feels like the right solution. Despite knowing how my mom worries for my soul, I really had to stop and think how important that is to her.

In October, I watched my friend Kye Allums openly address his mother's difficulty with his transition on Lavern Cox Presents: The T Word. Our paths are different, but our mothers' issues are similar. Their religion tells them who we are is not how we are designed to be. They're wrong, but they're not the enemy. To see Kye afford his mother love and humanity, reminded me that I needed to do the same.

I needed to find closure, a friend told me. "You have to create your own closure," he said. He was right. I needed to move on.

It's a point I've finally accepted.

I went home recently. The trip was surprisingly pleasant. I did what I always do when I see my mother after a long time apart: I hugged her. I kissed her. I told her how good she looks. I waited for her sarcastic remark about how I look—this time, that I finally added a lil' muscle to my thin frame. But we did not talk about anything that happened in the last year. We both knew that was for the best.

We will likely never agree about my sexuality and the choices I've made, but as long as she's here on earth, I will have my mother however I can.

It's not a happy ending, but it is an understanding. It's the best either of us can do for now.

Michael Arceneaux is a writer in New York City.

[Illustration by Jim Cooke]

Oregon high school student Austin Moore had a simple dream: to take his friend's hot cousin to prom. So, like any plucky 17-year-old, he reached out to the Las Vegas showgirl on Instagram, who agreed to do it for 10,000 retweets, just slightly under the current going rate for stunt prom dates.

So I was asked to go to Prom! He asked if he gets 10k RT if I'd come in my prom group! Please RT his post!! 💋👆

— Mariah Rivera (@Mariah_Rivera1) February 28, 2015

Alright so I need 10k retweets for the Las Vegas model to come in my prom group! Please RT!! Let's make it happen pic.twitter.com/YdGHUNOmk4

— Austin Moore (@Once_a_kingg) February 28, 2015

Aided by weird adults like former Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous host Robin Leach, Moore started raking in the RTs, but the teen hero soon faced an even greater challenge in the form of principal and John Hughes movie villain Scott Coulter. From KGW:

"All prom guests have to be 19 and under," said Regis High School Principal Scott Coulter.

"Austin's not in trouble," Coulter said. "We just laughed about it and I said this just isn't going to happen."

According to The Oregonian, Moore is taking the ruling in stride, but admits his friends are "pretty bummed."

Don't worry oddly chill teens, a much higher authority—'80s high school movies—stipulates that Coulter's comeuppance is coming soon.

[Image via Instagram]

Futurists flocked to Barcelona this week to take part in Mobile World Congress. The annual exhibition gathers technophiles, venture capitalists, and mobile manufacturers in one place for a five-day, tech industry circle jerk. This year's big announcement came via Samsung: the electronics mega-company unveiled new phones—the Galaxy S6 and S6 Edge. Despite its advanced features, one thing is abundantly clear right away: the S6 resembles the iPhone 6. Gizmodo writer Darren Orf noted: "It's hard to not see the iPhone 6 in Samsung's latest phone... But that doesn't mean the Galaxy S6 doesn't have its own charms." This reminded me a lot of what Matt Buchanan wrote about in 2013 when Apple debuted the iPhone 5S and 5C. "[P]hones have matured to the point that, until a truly radical breakthrough in computing technology occurs, there is not much left to improve on... And, for the next few years, advances in smartphones and tablets will continue to be subtle and iterative, driven by the twin processes of simplification and connection." Mobile technology, it could be said, has entered an era of convergence: competing phone makers are developing devices that mirror one another, in both design and function. Or, the short version: Samsung is Apple is Microsoft is Amazon. The old axiom proves true: the more things change, the more they stay the same.

"The Gangsters of Ferguson" by Ta-Nehisi Coates

Government, if its name means anything, must rise above those suspicions and that skepticism and seek out justice. And if it seeks to improve its name it must do much more—it must seek out the roots of the skepticism. The lack of faith among black people in Ferguson's governance, or in America's governance, is not something that should be bragged about. One cannot feel good about living under gangsters, and that is the reality of Ferguson right now.

http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archi...

"I'm a New Mom — What If I Never Work Full-Time Again?" by Laura June

By 9 months, my daughter was actually fun to hang out with: She stayed awake for longer stretches, she laughed at my jokes. We were having a good time and my new mom anxieties were passing. I was happier as a mother than I had thought I would be. My husband and I were married for seven years before trying in earnest to have a baby, mostly because of my ambivalence about having one. We had a full life together, and I have always been very, very busy on my own: with work, reading, cooking, and sewing. I sometimes had trouble imagining how or where a baby, and then child, would fit into that. So though I wasn't in a hurry to have a child, I knew that we did want one — eventually. And then, "eventually" arrived. During pregnancy I told myself it would be OK. The baby wouldn't be that much work, really, and I could get back to some semblance of a normal life after a few months. I wasn't prepared for the reality that I might not want to go back to "normal."

http://www.buzzfeed.com/laurajune/im-a...

"The Grantland Q&A: Errol Morris" by Alex Pappademas

Would you have been happy working in another medium, as long as you'd been able to do that kind of work?

Probably, yes. But I like film. And I like visual storytelling. I'm sick of interviewing. I am really sick of it. I'm not gonna say I do it better than anybody else, but I do it differently than anybody else. I am good at it, for whatever reason. There are a lot of different reasons, but if that's all I'm going to do for the rest of my life is stick a camera in front of people and say to them, "I don't have a first question, what's your first answer?" I think I would be very sad. Philip Gourevitch, who wrote this book with me on the Abu Ghraib material, said, "Do you know you start off every interview the same way?" And I said, "No — I used to transcribe my interviews but I don't do it anymore." He said, "You always say, 'I don't know where to start.'"

http://grantland.com/features/the-g...

"The Near Future of Word Torture" by John Herrman

The magic middle ground—the one we're all familiar with through slightly less intentional texts—is the suggestion of voyeurism. That little iMessage animation suggests a glimpse behind the curtain—and sort of offers one, as you watch your texting partner type and then stop typing and then start again—but never lets you all the way in. It might animate then disappear forever, which could mean many different things. It might animate for a while, then pause, and animate briefly before making way for a terse "sure." This is both performed and received as a performance, and alters the way in which people text. But it doesn't destroy the medium or paralyze its participants. The process of creation is public but obscured. The text feels alive and urgent! Etc. An app to replay writing in not-quite real time, but instead in chunks, might be interesting.

http://www.theawl.com/2015/03/the-ne...

"How Is Polio Still a Thing?" by Leigh Cowart

The CIA stopped using vaccination campaigns as cover in August 2013, but the damage has been done: Suspicion is as endemic as the disease itself, and religious extremists are fueling the rumors about sterilization as a way of enforcing their authority. The World Health Organization has noticed. It warned that if we fail to wipe polio from its last bastions of infectivity, we face as many as 200,000 cases of children paralyzed from polio each year within the decade. And, according to its website, "As long as a single child remains infected, children in all countries are at risk of contracting polio."

Authorities in Pakistan are not taking that threat lightly: More than 500 parents who refused polio vaccination for their kids were recently arrested jailed in a rare, widespread crackdown. Will it help?

https://medium.com/matter/wait-po...

"Who's the Man? How Being Versatile in Bed Is a Way of Life" by Rich Juzwiak

Because topping is associated with masculinity and that is something gay culture is obsessed with, it behooves a man to outwardly identify as a top, regardless of actual practice. It's simply good marketing. Because of the prevailing idea that topping is somehow "less gay" than bottoming, you could see how someone who's less than 100 percent comfortable with his sexuality would deny the truth to others or even deny himself the potential pleasure in getting fucked.

I understand that being a total top exists within the realm of possible human behavior, but I'm always a little skeptical when I hear a guy call himself that—much more skeptical, that is, than when a guy tells me he's a total bottom—for at least he is at peace with his faggotry. Hetero patriarchy is a motherfucker. It takes years of undoing sometimes.

http://gawker.com/whos-the-man-h...

"Let's Really Be Friends" by Kyle Chayka

The perception that online relationships are somehow less real than their physical counterparts exemplifies what Nathan Jurgenson, a New York-based sociologist and researcher for the messaging platform Snapchat, calls "digital dualism." Contemporary identities and relationships are no more or less authentic in either space. "We're coming to terms with there being just one reality and digital is part of it, not any less real or true," Jurgenson said. "What you do online and what you do face-to-face are completely interwoven."

http://www.newrepublic.com/article/121183...

North of Selma, Black Leaders 'Fighting the Same Battle" by Wesley Lowery

"Shelby County has become the new Selma," said the Rev. Kenneth Dukes, who has spent all 47 of his years in the county, leads the local NAACP branch and on weekdays drives a school bus for the Montevallo school district. "Not because of the brutality; we aren't being beaten. But because we're still here fighting for the same things, fighting the same battle."

http://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/south...

[Image via Getty]

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A day after ISIS militants in Iraq destroyed the remains of the ancient Assyrian city of Nimrud, fighters from the Islamist group have begun looting the ancient city of Hatra, the Associated Press reports.

Saeed Mamuzini, a Kurdish official from Mosul, told the AP that members of ISIS had begun pillaging the city on Thursday. A tourism official said that multiple residents living near Hatra heard two large explosions on Saturday morning and reported seeing bulldozers demolishing the site.

"The destruction of Hatra marks a turning point in the appalling strategy of cultural cleansing underway in Iraq," a joint statement from Irina Bokova, Director-General of UNESCO, and Dr. Abdulaziz Othman Altwaijri, Director General of the Islamic Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization (ISESCO), reads. "This is a direct attack against the history of Islamic Arab cities, and it confirms the role of destruction of heritage in the propaganda of extremists groups."

On the history of Hatra, from the AP:

Hatra, located 110 kilometers (68 miles) southwest of the city of Mosul, was a large fortified city during the Parthian Empire and capital of the first Arab kingdom. A UNESCO world heritage site, Hatra is said to have withstood invasions by the Romans in A.D. 116 and 198 thanks to its high, thick walls reinforced by towers. The ancient trading center spanned 6 kilometers (4 miles) in circumference and was supported by more than 160 towers. At its heart are a series of temples with a grand temple at the center — a structure supported by columns that once rose to 100 feet.

"The deliberate destruction of cultural heritage constitutes a war crime," Bokova said in a statement on Friday condemning the bulldozing of Nimrud. "I call on all of those who can, especially youth, in Iraq and elsewhere, to do everything possible to protect this heritage, to claim it as their own, and as the heritage of the whole of humanity."

[Photo credit: AP Images]

At first, it went pretty well, as far as Internet dates with men named "Gooch" go. After meeting at Racks Restaurant and Sports Bar in Atco (sample review: "I guess its cool for Atco"), a New Jersey woman took OkCupid match Gennaro "Gooch" Aladena back to her home.

Once there, however, police say "Gooch" revealed the 15% of himself that was pure enemy, stealing the woman's jewelry and car, WABC-TV reports.

Authorities are still searching for both "Gooch" and the car, a red 2007 Toyota Solara bearing the personalized plates "JSRYGRL" [sic].

According to police, the "Gooch" is bald, approximately 5'9" and may also go by "Mike Rossman," which, lets be real, is a pretty ridiculous name.

[Image via Facebook/Waterford Township Police//h/t Gothamist]

President Barack Obama delivered a speech on Saturday from the Edmund Pettus Bridge—named for a grand dragon of the Ku Klux Klan and site of what came to be known as "Bloody Sunday"—addressing race in America. "What happened in Ferguson may not be unique," he said, "but it's no longer endemic. It's no longer sanctioned by law or custom, and before the civil rights movement, it most surely was."

The president, however, rejected the notion that we are living in a post-racial society. "We don't need the Ferguson report to know that's not true," he said. Earlier this week, the Department of Justice released two reports on Ferguson: one explained why Darren Wilson would not be charged with civil rights violations in the death of Michael Brown; the other detailed the systemic racism of the Ferguson police department.

"We just need to open our eyes and our ears and our hearts to know that this nation's racial history still casts its long shadow upon us. We know the march is not over yet, we know the race is not yet won. We know reaching that blessed destination where we are judged by the content of our character requires admitting as much," Obama said.

The 2013 Supreme Court ruling that found part of the 1965 Voting Rights Act—passed after the events of Selma's "Bloody Sunday," the 50th anniversary of which the president's speech was intended to commemorate—unconstitutional makes reaching that blessed destination all the more difficult.

You can read the full transcript of the president's speech here.

Standing on things can be fun! For millennia, people have been standing up high for pleasure and amusement. But standing on things can also be a mistake if those things weren't meant to be stood on, like the disappearing garage seen below:

According to KNBC, 30 people were on this garage roof in San Luis Obispo, California when it collapsed early Saturday morning. Eight people were reportedly injured, but only one seriously, with a "large wood splinter" in her leg.

SLO Fire units on scene of building collapse by Cal Poly pic.twitter.com/oM2oSUNQFg

— SLO City Fire (@SLO_City_Fire) March 7, 2015

Over 1000 students are said to have attended the party, part of Cal Poly's unofficial "St. Fratty's Day" festivities. But you don't have to be like them. Just stay safe and only stand on the right things.

[Image via San Luis Obispo Police Department//h/t Breaking 911]

A new investigation into the disappearance of Malaysia Airlines Flight 370, which vanished off the coast of Vietnam a year ago this weekend, has found that all members of the crew were behaving normally before the incident, the Associated Press reports.

Some theories concerning the disappearance of MH370 have focussed on the possibility of the plane's pilot or co-pilot committing suicide; however, this report found no evidence to support that interpretation. According to the AP, the report found that the plane's captain, Zaharie Ahmad Shah, had no known history of apathy, anxiety, or irritability.

Neither Zaharie nor his co-pilot, Fariq Abdul Hamid, showed signs of "social isolation," drug or alcohol abuse, or other behavioral changes, The New York Times reports. Footage from airport closed-circuit television cameras did not reveal changes in either man's mannerisms.

The investigation also found that the battery for the data recorder's locator beacon had expired more than a year before the plane's disappearance. According to the AP, the instrument should still have recorded all flight information before the aircraft's presumed crash, despite the fact that the battery had expired.

The significance of this, according to The New York Times, is that the beacon might not have sent out signals for the full 30 days for which it was designed. The cockpit voice recorder's beacon, however, had been replaced, the Times reports. It would have expired in June of 2014.

The BBC reports that some relatives of passengers lost on the plane are dissatisfied with the investigation. Sarah Bajc, who lost her partner Philip Wood, described the report as "nonsensical ass-shielding." Another, unnamed relative described it as "useless."

The full report can be read here.

[Photo credit: AP Images]

Last night, the investigation of Russian opposition leader Boris Y. Nemtsov's murder took another bizarre turn when one of six men believed to be connected to the crime "blew himself up" during a standoff with police.

According to Interfax, a law enforcement source says the man "threw one grenade at police and blew himself up with another" after authorities surrounded his Grozny apartment on Saturday.

Five other suspects were arraigned in a Moscow court today for the assassination, including the two men detained by police yesterday, one of whom is now said to have served as a law enforcement officer fighting Islamic insurgents. All five are reportedly Chechen.

The BBC reports that the two suspects detained yesterday, Anzor Gubashev and Zaur Dadayev, have been charged with murder. According to Judge Natalia Mushnikova, Dadayev admitted his involvement in the crime.

Since his murder last month, colleagues of Nemtsov have suggested Putin's government was connected to the assassination. Before his death, Nemtsov reportedly planned to publish evidence showing Russian military involvement in Ukraine.

[Image via AP Images]

The hideous waking nightmare of Hoboken, New Jersey's day-long St. Patrick's Day Bar Crawl was briefly interrupted on Saturday night when a homeless man set himself on fire in the middle of a street, NJ.com reports.

Police received a call around 11 p.m. that a man was trying to set himself aflame, Hoboken police Chief Kenneth Ferrante told NJ.com. By the time responding officers Lt. Mike DeTrizio and Sgt. Steven Aguiar arrived on the scene, he had succeeded and was on fire in the middle of the road.

Ferrante said that the officers shouted at the man to get on the ground. He remained standing, and began screaming. The officers pushed him to the ground and rolled him over, extinguishing the fire. NJ.com reports that the man was not seriously injured.

The incident occurred part-way through Hoboken's fourth annual St. Patrick's Day Bar Crawl. On Saturday night, Ferrante said police had made nine arrests for assault and drug possession, and that there had been a total of 44 violations of city ordinances barring public drinking and urination. He told NJ.com that he expected that number to double by 4 a.m.

St. Patrick's Day, incidentally, is on March 17th, which is not until next week.

[Image via Shutterstock]

The Iraqi government is investigating reports that ISIS have descended upon an ancient archaeological site at Khorsabad, according to the Associated Press. A Kurdish official from Mosul said that eyewitnesses reported that militants had begun demolishing the site on Sunday.

ISIS fighters have laid waste to two UNESCO world heritage sites—Hatra and Nimrud—in the last few days, which the AP reports UN Secretary General Ban Ki Moon described as a "war crime."

From the AP:

Khorsabad was constructed as a new capital of Assyria by King Sargon II shortly after he came to power in 721 B.C. and abandoned after his death in 705 B.C. It features a 24-meter thick wall with a stone foundation and seven gates.

Since it was a single-era capital, few objects linked to Sargon II himself were found. However, the site is renowned for shedding light on Assyrian art and architecture.

The sculptured stone slabs that once lined the palace walls are now displayed in museums in Baghdad, Paris, London and Chicago.

On Sunday, Iraq's tourism and antiquities minister, Adel Shirshab, called for an emergency session of the UN Security Council.

"The world should bear the responsibility and put an end to the atrocities of the militants, otherwise I think the terrorist groups will continue with their violent acts," he said.

[Image via Wikimedia Commons | CC BY-SA 3.0]