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Jon Stewart: Stop Making Excuses for That Racist Oklahoma Frat

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Jon Stewart: Stop Making Excuses for That Racist Oklahoma Frat

On Wednesday night's Daily Show, Jon Stewart addressed the conservative media's treatment of an Oklahoma frat's drunken, racist chanting as the latest in a series of isolated incidents that are totally not indicative of any larger problems of racism in America. For a brief summary of Stewart's points, see the above photo of him flipping the bird.

His cathartic 10-minute rant is worth watching, especially if you need a chaser after watching the Morning Joe crew conclude that we can blame this busload of fraternal racists on hip hop.

Mika Brzezinski has "clarified" her statements, by the way, saying, "The students in the video are responsible for their behavior. And as we said on our show this morning, they did it, and it's beyond appalling."

Here are some other things that were said on Morning Joe yesterday:

"Popular culture becomes a cesspool, a lot of corporations profit off it," said guest Bill Kristol, "and then people are surprised that some drunk 19-year-old kids repeat what they've been hearing on the radio."

"Exactly!" said Brzezinski, who had already somehow managed to turn a conversation about racism into a conversation about Waka Flocka.

She's right about one thing, though. It is beyond appalling.


The Christopher Hitchens Prize For Un-Hitch-Like Behavior

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The Christopher Hitchens Prize For Un-Hitch-Like Behavior

Christopher Hitchens, the late essayist and sot, was a man who purposefully cultivated a lot of friends of a certain type—rich, self-important, generally dim-witted and hence easy for a well-spoken Oxbridge debater to impress—and he electrified Washington D.C. society mainly by not being a completely charmless bore. Now those friends are the primary caretakers of his legacy, and, if the newly announced "Hitchens Prize" is any indication, they are going to memorialize him in the least Hitch-like ways possible.

The Hitchens Prize, along with $50,000, will go to journalists and writers who best embody the qualities that Hitchens' friends think Hitchens was known for: "a commitment to free expression and inquiry, a range and depth of intellect, and a willingness to pursue the truth without regard to personal or professional consequence." (As has already been pointed out, nothing says "damn the consequences" like the possibility of a $50,000 prize for contrarianism.)

The prize is the creation of a brand-new nonprofit arts foundation, founded by and named for a little-known but clearly well-off couple: Dennis Ross (not the diplomat of the same name), a corporate tax attorney and former minor Treasury official in the Reagan administration, and Victoria Ross, a museum researcher. (The foundation's small board of directors is made up of the male Ross, a tax attorney-slash-composer named William Weigel, and a Douglas Ross who, if I had to guess, I'd guess is Dennis and Victoria's son.) The winner will be selected by a committee that will include official Friends-of-Hitch Graydon Carter and Christopher Buckley, among others to be named later.

In case you're interested in nominating a colleague or friend, here is what the committee is looking for:

The Prize, in any event, is not intended, ‬if it were even possible,‭ ‬to identify writers who align closely with Christopher‭ ‬Hitchens,‭ ‬nor to celebrate his views in every particular.‭ Rather,‭ ‬the Prize seeks to advance what he was dedicated to throughout his life: vigorous,‭ ‬honest, and open public debate and discussion,‭ ‬with no tolerance of orthodoxy,‭ ‬no reverence for authority,‭ ‬and a belief in reasoned dialogue as the best path to the truth.‭

How dedicated, exactly, was Christopher Hitchens to "reasoned dialogue"? In my recollection, he believed in invective and insult. He was a polemicist in print and an arguer in debates. And he not infrequently simply made arguments based not on reason or evidence but on his own gut feelings. Much of his better polemical writing (and all of the worst of it) was clearly motivated by personal, visceral disgust. (Hitchens on Hillary Clinton: "she is not just a liar but a lie; a phoney construct of shreds and patches and hysterical, self-pitying, demagogic improvisations." On Bill: "It's one thing to say, with reasonable confidence, that the White House is currently occupied by a war criminal, a rapist, and a pathological liar. It's another to ponder the full implications.")

The committee goes on to smear Hitchens yet again:

In line with the Foundation's educational mission, the Prize and award ceremony are intended to draw public attention to the values that marked Christopher Hitchens' career, including freedom of speech and inquiry, and the importance to society of civil, if passionate, discourse and debate. In that spirit, it is anticipated that the Prize winner's acceptance speech will reflect on those values, drawing on their own published work or related topical matters.

While the foundation could mean "civil" strictly in the sense of "referring to civil society," the "if passionate" suggests that this is actually a ridiculous attribution of "civility" to a writer whose career was defined by his gleeful refusal to make his arguments politely or refrain from personal attacks. This was a man whose idea of "civil, if passionate, discourse and debate" was calling the Dixie Chicks "fat fucking slags." At his worst, which was often, he was a jumped-up Don Rickles, with only an affectation of the wit.

But the "Hitchens Prize" and its misinterpretation of the "Hitch" persona are not worth getting worked up about. This may sound ungenerous, but I suspect Christopher Hitchens the writer will be remembered, if at all, for his Kissinger book, a few bon mots, and little else. The fact that his ephemeral political writing will be forgotten, as most ephemeral political writing is, is the best thing that could happen to his reputation. So let his friends name a prize after him, because a prize with some money attached to it—just ask Messrs. Rhodes, MacArthur, and even
Pulitzer—is a fine way to ensure that a name is kept in the public eye for generations as the person recedes from memory. Somewhere in Journalism Heaven, the prize committee's bastardized version of Christopher Hitchens, reasoned debater and champion of civil discourse, is throwing back scotch with Jesus and Mother Teresa, smiling.

Photo via Getty

The average monthly rent for a studio apartment in Manhattan has reached $2,350, the highest on reco

Whale-Watching Tourist Dies After Whale Lands on Boat

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Whale-Watching Tourist Dies After Whale Lands on Boat

A woman on a whale-watching cruise in Mexico died after one of the majestic sea creatures she'd traveled to see leapt from the water and landed on her boat.

Firefighter commander Juan Carvajal Figueroa told the Associated Press that the woman was with a group of other tourists about a mile off-shore from Cabo San Lucas when the gray whale breached and collided with their ship, knocking the 35-year-old Canadian into the sea.

The ship's captain and another tourist reportedly jumped in and brought the woman back to boat. Navy officers rushed her to an on-shore clinic, where she died from unspecified injuries.

Two other people were injured in the accident, according to the CBC; one of them, a 45-year-old woman, was admitted to a nearby hospital in stable condition.


Image via AP. Contact the author at taylor@gawker.com.

Why Wasn't the Brooklyn Subway Shooter Arrested?

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Why Wasn't the Brooklyn Subway Shooter Arrested?

On Tuesday evening, 69-year-old William Groomes, a retired corrections officer, was riding a Brooklyn-bound 4 train when he got into a confrontation with two younger men. The specifics of their quarrel aren't totally clear, but two things are certain: Groomes shot Gilbert Drogheo dead, and he wasn't arrested for it. Why not?

According to Gregg Pinto, who served as an assistant district attorney in Brooklyn from 2007 to 2013 and now operates a private law practice, the answer has little to do with self-defense or anything else about the conflict itself. "I can't imagine that if this guy didn't have a [corrections officer] badge, he wouldn't have been arrested," Pinto told me yesterday. "In my opinion, NYPD is arrest first, ask questions later. The only time you don't arrest is if the person is somehow connected to the police."

Multiple eyewitnesses said that the trouble started as Groomes boarded the train at the Bowling Green station, where Drogheo, 32, and Joscelyn Evering, 28, blocked the door and verbally harassed Groomes as he stepped in. After an argument, the younger men turned physical—the New York Daily News reported that one of the men punched Groomes in the head; DNAinfo says Groomes was shoved down into an empty seat—and Groomes pulled out a gun. When Drogheo and Evering exited the train at Borough Hall, Groomes followed them.

That's the point where an eyewitness video obtained by CBS New York picks up. Groomes—the taller man in the video below—ascends the stairs to the station's mezzanine, where Drogheo is standing near a turnstile. Groomes approaches Drogheo and hits him in the face. The two men grapple, the gun goes off, and the camera pans away. Drogheo was rushed to Brooklyn Hospital Center, where he died.

Witnesses agree that Drogheo and Evering initiated the conflict on the train, and a certain amount of knee-jerk against a young guy who picked a fight with a 69-year-old is understandable. But watching the video, it's difficult to imagine a scenario in which Groomes wasn't the aggressor after the fight spilled into the station. Carrying a loaded gun, he deliberately moved toward Drogheo at the top of the stairs and threw the first punch of the scuffle that led to the gunfire.

"From the looks of that video, there's no reason to believe that it was self defense," ex-ADA Pinto said. He elaborated further in an email: "In New York, if you use deadly physical force to defend yourself (i.e., shooting someone), you have to reasonably believe that deadly physical force is about to be used on you. There's nothing in that video that looks like the shooter could have believed that he was in imminent danger of deadly physical force being used against him. In fact, the shooter looks like he was the aggressor."

In Pinto's opinion, the non-arrest may have been a matter of "professional courtesy" extended from one group of New York law enforcement agents to another. "The only possible explanation...is that they are taking it very slow because he is a corrections officer," Pinto wrote. "There is a professional courtesy that gets extended to anyone with a badge. You'll never hear the NYPD actually talk about it, but it exists as a sort of unwritten rule. I'm not saying he will get away with this because he's a corrections officer. But, he is getting the benefit of the doubt while they continue their investigation. If he was some random guy who didn't work for the city, he would be sitting in Rikers right now."

Even if Groomes is arrested eventually, which seems relatively likely—he is expected to be brought back to the police for additional questioning, CBS reported—the professional courtesy affords him numerous advantages. Pinto explains:

First and foremost, he gets to hire a lawyer and hunker down to come up with a strategy for his defense. They can watch the video that was released and decide whether self-defense is even a viable option. He can also line up a bail package (probably through a bond) so that he can make bail immediately if the judge decides to give him bail instead of remanding him. He can hide any evidence that he would not want the police to find, particularly anything on his cell phone that could blow up his self-defense claim by showing his state of mind that day. On a personal level, he gets a chance to be with his family one last time without being separated by prison bars. All of this is very difficult to do from Rikers Island. Also, assuming he doesn't go on the run, he can show that he is not a flight risk and his lawyer has a better chance of convincing the judge to set bail instead of remanding him.

But perhaps the most vivd illustration of Groomes' privilege as a former CO is the one arrest that police did make: Joscelyn Evering, who was charged with menacing and felony assault.


Image via David Rogers/Flickr. Contact the author at andy@gawker.com.

This Week in Tabloids: Bachelor Chris is a Dancing, Cheating Liar 

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This Week in Tabloids: Bachelor Chris is a Dancing, Cheating Liar 

Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we hold hands and jump into the pit of an active volcano, a single, unified shriek that sounds a lot like "KYLIE GOT FILLERS" filling the smoky air as our ecstatic bodies evanesce into the molten goo.

This week: Joe Giudice is screwin' around on Teresa; Bachelor Chris and his baby bride are already kaput; Kylie Jenner is "hot now" and fully determined to beat her sisters Kardashian at social media, life; and Julia Roberts' marriage is "falling apart." Let's go!


This Week in Tabloids: Bachelor Chris is a Dancing, Cheating Liar 

inTouch

JOE CAUGHT CHEATING ON TERESA

God, isn't prison such a bummer? Especially for Teresa Giudice, who is working out eight times a day to cope with the fact that her mouth-breathing meatball of a husband is probably cheating on her. And he is cheating on her, but listen, the connection between Big Joe and some blonde chick is so much more than just two scary-looking halfwits with light mafia ties ramming each other in a "high rollers suite" in Atlantic City: "He said he 'loved her tits,'" reminisces an insider, misty-eyed at the romance of it all.

Scott Disick, America's dad, has "fled" rehab for the 90th time after only a few days—but not before trying an experimental therapy drug that produces LSD-like hallucinations and is banned in the U.S. Experts agree that it's a pretty harmless treatment option with no known downsides: "Some people have committed suicide while taking it, while others reported that their cravings for illicit drugs and alcohol disappeared." Like what is the big deal. Somewhat related: Tori Spelling is in the hospital again, ugh, why is she so obsessed with the hospital, there are way cooler places to hang out! Anyway, she's in withdrawal from the "powerful cocktail of prescription drugs" she uses to "help her cope with migraines brought on by stress and her crumbling eight-year marriage to Dean McDermott." So lame Tori haha u should ditch the IV drip or whatever and come out w us to Nobu tonight!!!!

The word on Kim Kardashian's "krazy" new blonde look: "Kanye made her do it!" AND SHE IS HUMILIATED. An insider has informed inTouch that Kim "was being as fake as her hair color" when she "raved" about the new 'do: "It wasn't really her choice—and she doesn't like it at all." This item seems dubious, since I have it on good authority that Kanye has been keeping Kim in a locked room between the Paris shows. Pretty sure padded walls can't talk! And lastly, Christina Aguilera was a "diva" on the set of Nashville, insisting on her own private chef: "All Christina did was order taco bell and eat canned chili," says an insider. "The chef had no idea why he was even there."

Grade: B- (You spilled canned chili on your Balmain bodysuit and Kanye is gonna be so pissed)


This Week in Tabloids: Bachelor Chris is a Dancing, Cheating Liar 

Life & Style

CHRIS & WHITNEY OVER ALREADY!

Yes, it's true: although it seemed like Bachelor "winner" Whitney, the hyper-talkative baby with a heart of gold, was the perfect match for Chris, a mute dolphin-Republican hybrid with poor taste in facial hair, their fairytale romance is dunzo. "She thought he wanted to live a quiet, simple farm life," but Farmer Chris has tasted celebrity so fuck that, he's doing Dancing With The Stars! Also, "Whitney was horrified to learn that he'd betrayed her in the worst way possible—by sleeping with Kaitlyn Bristowe, her best friend on The Bachelor." ...oh, you mean, on their televised fantasy suite date? Ugh, shut up Life & Style! True Bachelor fans know that it would take much more than a little ABC-condoned polyamory to shake off this scrappy fertility nurse, and also, there is no way Kaitlyn did much more than give Chris a half-hearted Canadian handjob and roll over with a muttered "peace oot." Whit & Chris are going to die in each other's arms [from cholera prob because there's nowhere to get vaccinated in Arlington] and everybody needs to just let them meet that dark fate in peace!

Beyoncé and Kim Kardashian, two warring starships in this galaxy called lyfe, have "bonded over a common enemy: Rihanna." Rihanna, who will "hook up with any man to advance her career" HAHAHAHAHA. Beyoncé has "battled rumors" for years that RiRi and Jay Z were "too close," and now Kim is all "wait, Beyoncé, Beyoncé, BEYONCÉ, Beyoncé, B, hey girl, Beyoncé, 'yonce, hey why are you ignoring me, I didn't forget your accent mark this time, omg haha this isn't funny, Beyoncé, LISTEN TO ME I'M JEALOUS OF RIHANNA 2 NOW!!!!" because Rihanna and Kanye are about to launch a world tour and who wouldn't want Kanye, honestly, really?

Woman's Pregnancy Terrifies the World: Kate Middleton is still doing stuff with that thing inside her and enough is enough, man: "When Kate was pregnant with George, it was hardly a stroll through Hyde Park" but this time, "it's even worse"—and that is not helped by the fact that Kate "has kept up a punishing schedule, under both pressure from the unforgiving queen and her own sense of duty." Go to bed, you psycho! And in other news: Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott are broke as hell and Candy's paying their bills now, but nothing comes without a price; Khloé Kardashian is "ignoring the haters" and/or literally everyone else and she and kind-of-ex-husband Lamar Odom are "definitely hooking up again."

Grade: A- (A stroll through Hyde Park, you're pretty sure you aren't pregnant)


This Week in Tabloids: Bachelor Chris is a Dancing, Cheating Liar 

OK!

KYLIE: "I'M THE HOT ONE NOW!"

Kylie Jenner "loves the way she looks now, and she wants to show it off at every opportunity." Twitter, Vine, Instagram, Plinstagram, Twattsapp, Derpchat, Snapstaface, ScreamTime, Killme, Grindr, she's all over those apps and social medias! "She's been hounding her mother about plastic surgery from a very early age," and Kris was like, whatever babe, obviously, yes, please do! A Kardashian Insider Warns: "Move over, Kendall and Kim; Kylie's coming through. She's younger and now says she's prettier and more determined than any of them." Aww!

MISCELLANY: LeAnn Rimes' sad ex Dean Sheremet, who "only wants what's best for LeAnn" and "broke his silence to show his support in her time of need," would have it be known that "the dumbest thing she did for her career is divorce me." Chris Brown's surprise daughter is rumored to be named "Royalty"; Britney Spears is "obsessed" with Botox and it's "actually quite sad"; Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson are asking for "at least $20 million each, plus a percentage of the back end" for the next 50 Shades movie, and everybody is like, *shrug* yeah honestly you guys deserve that, fingers crossed and heartfelt condolences.

Grade: F- (Watching Dean Sheremet eat dinner alone at an IHOP)


This Week in Tabloids: Bachelor Chris is a Dancing, Cheating Liar 

Star

JULIA DUMPED BY DANNY!

Okay, all day I have been reading this as "JULIA JUMPED BY DANNY," which I felt was very misleading. And what is this, the nineties, where are the Kardashians?? LOL JK this is the best Wednesday of my life. Here's the durt: "With tears streaming down her makeup-free face, Julia Roberts sat sobbing on a Los Angeles sidewalk [on the set of her new film] on Feb. 17. Despite her husband, Danny Moder, standing just feet away [because he's not an actor and had to stay out of frame], the distraught actress was consoled instead by her The Secret in Their Eyes costar Chiwetel Ejiofor [because they were filming a scene where her character was crying]." This is not acting, though!!! "Friends say she's been crying nonstop lately, because her marriage is falling apart!" And her marriage is falling apart because Julia is "controlling" and "sabotaged Danny's career" so now he has to play "Mr. Mom" and he is "unfulfilled" and I am "dying."

Love is dead, I think! Matthew McConaughey and Camila Alves have been "fighting nonstop over his hectic work schedule." Basically, he hates being married because "Matthew lived the life of a carefree, wandering dude for so long," makes so much sense, and "taking so many jobs gives him that alone time back." Lauren Conrad, who married William Tell 6 months ago, "has quickly grown bored with married life." I mean, not surprising, being married to a 600-year-old Swiss folk hero can't be that much fun. "All he wants to do is stay home and nest, and she's sick of it," which is just so typical LC, that wild stallion!

Grade: D- (Getting robbed at gunpoint by Danny Moder)


Addendum:

This Week in Tabloids: Bachelor Chris is a Dancing, Cheating Liar 

Fig. 1, Life & Style

This Week in Tabloids: Bachelor Chris is a Dancing, Cheating Liar 

Fig. 2, inTouch

This Week in Tabloids: Bachelor Chris is a Dancing, Cheating Liar 

Fig. 3, inTouch

This Week in Tabloids: Bachelor Chris is a Dancing, Cheating Liar 

Fig. 4, Life & Style [do you think this is a shout out, or..]

This Week in Tabloids: Bachelor Chris is a Dancing, Cheating Liar 

Fig. 5, OK!

This Week in Tabloids: Bachelor Chris is a Dancing, Cheating Liar 

Fig. 6, Life & Style

This Week in Tabloids: Bachelor Chris is a Dancing, Cheating Liar 

Fig. 7, OK!

This Week in Tabloids: Bachelor Chris is a Dancing, Cheating Liar 

Fig. 8, inTouch


Edward Snowden's Girlfriend Posts Two Mysterious New Blog Entries

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Edward Snowden's Girlfriend Posts Two Mysterious New Blog Entries

Over the last several days, Edward Snowden's girlfriend's dead blog has suddenly sprung back to life, with two cryptic blog entries accompanied by photos of the acrobat-blogger-dancer. What does it mean?

Lindsay Mills faced a flurry of attention in 2013, when her boyfriend became the source of one of the biggest intelligence leaks in US history. In the aftermath of Snowden's revelations, the media mined her (amazing) blog L's Journey for photos of the couple, information about their life together in Hawaii, and a truly incredible collection of self portraits of Lindsey Mills in various costumes, including one where she toplessly clutches a stuffed turtle to her breasts. Truly, a woman who was living her best life.

Edward Snowden's Girlfriend Posts Two Mysterious New Blog Entries

After Snowden fled his life in Hawaii to Hong Kong, Mills herself vanished from the public eye for over a year. Footage shown in the documentary Citizenfour, however, revealed that Mills wasn't abandoned at all. In fact, she and Snowden were still together, and she visits him in Russia regularly. She even took to the stage at the Oscars as Citizenfour filmmaker Laura Poitras accepted her award for Best Documentary.

Mills's return to cyberspace consists, so far, of two tidbits. One, dated March 8, consists of a photo of her in front of the home she and Snowden shared in Hawaii accompanied with the caption "oh HI!" The other, more contemplative entry dated yesterday, features a shot of Mills sitting on a canyon ledge with the words,

Canyon of misinterpreted judgment before me. My polkadots, never one to back down from a challenge, have softened to a muted hue. Fearful to illuminate in an over-saturated habitat. I prop myself on flexible support that bends too easily on shaky ground. Avalanching down the rock wall into green valleys. That give a glimmer of support for growth. But open on a landscape of relentless rehashing that hamper my expressive dots from flourishing. While darker clouds ever loom overhead. As a reminder of the difficulties in traversing this unknown expanse.

Canyon of Misinterpreted Judgment was by far my least favorite Nancy Drew book.

Does this mean that the best spy girlfriend blog in history is returning to cyberspace for good? Will we, the denizens of the web, be privy once again to the adventures of L and her mysterious boyfriend E?

One can only hope.

Images via L's Journey

Celebrities: Stop Trying to Photoshop Your Own Instagrams

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Celebrities: Stop Trying to Photoshop Your Own Instagrams

Lindsay Lohan is the most recent celebrity to look at a photo of herself and think, "Probably I can Photoshop this and no one will notice."

People noticed, however, due to the fact that Lindsay Lohan—or, perhaps, Lindsay Lohan's assistant—does not know to do it:

Celebrities: Stop Trying to Photoshop Your Own Instagrams

As you can see, the door frame is wobbly around her butt and wobbly around her leg. Damn. A classic narcissist whoopsie of the digital age.

Celebrities, please take my advice: Stop trying to Photoshop your own photos. You simply do not know how to do it, and an obviously Photoshopped photo—you have to admit—is worse, even, than a photo where you butt isn't big enough or where it is too big.

Though I don't claim to be an expert on Photoshop, or whatever app it is that does this, or celebrity living (though I'd love to learn) (about celebrity living), I've thought about this problem and have come up with a few ideas about how to fix it:

  • Have your assistant hire someone to photoshop them for you, like other celebrities do.
  • Take a bunch of photos and only post the nicest-looking one. It is still sort of a lie.

I hope this helps. Thank you.

[image via Instagram]


Terry Pratchett, Legendary Fantasy Author, Dead at 66

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Terry Pratchett, Legendary Fantasy Author, Dead at 66

Sir Terry Pratchett, author of more than 70 novels, including 40 in his satirical fantasy series Discworld, died at his home Thursday. Pratchett was 66. He was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in 2007, and continued to write as he struggled with the onset of dementia.

His final Discworld novel, The Shepherd's Crown, was announced last year.

"One of the first things to go was the touch-typing. Kind of a bugger , I thought. Fortunately, technology has come to my aid," he said in 2012, five years after he had announced his "embuggerance" to the world. He continued writing via voice recognition software and by dictating to his assistant, Rob Wilkins.

Pratchett became the public face of both Alzheimer's and the right to die with dignity, thanks to two BBC documentaries, 2009's BAFTA-award-winning Living With Alzheimer's and 2012's Choosing to Die, and his powerful 2010 lecture "Shaking Hands With Death":

"[I] vowed that rather than let Alzheimer's take me, I would take it. I would live my life as ever to the full and die, ­before the disease mounted its last ­attack, in my own home, in a chair on the lawn, with a brandy in my hand to wash down whatever modern ­version of the 'Brompton cocktail' some ­helpful medic could supply. And with ­Thomas Tallis on my iPod, I would shake hands with Death."

Pratchett's family made the announcement of his passing on Twitter—his publisher confirmed his death this morning—imagining that final encounter between Terry and Death:

Pratchett's daughter, Rhianna, is also a writer. In 2011 Pratchett announced that he had given her his blessing to continue writing the Discworld series after his death.

"The Discworld is safe in my daughter's hands," he told the New Statesman at the time.

[Photo: AP]

French Authorities Bust Up YOGURT CARTEL

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French Authorities Bust Up YOGURT CARTEL

As an American who is fortunate enough to have ready access to the finest yogurt from around the world, a sense of revulsion at watery, inferior European yogurt brands is nothing new. But now we know that these inferior yogurt brands are actual criminals.

The setting: a French cafe. The scene: a group of businessmen, with hushed voices, gathered around a table in a back room. What are they doing there? Let's tune in and see...

BUSINESSMAN 1: (He's speaking French) Here we are—people from all the big French yogurt companies, that don't even make good yogurt.
BUSINESSMAN 2: (Also Frenchly) Now let's collude to fix the prices of our inferior product!

Shockingly, this scene is all too real, more or less. The French government has announced large fines against a YOGURT CARTEL. This YOGURT CARTEL was a YOGURT CARTEL of leading manufacturers of bad yogurt, in France, including Lactalis, Laiterie de Saint Malo, Senagral, Novandie, Les Maitres Laitiers du Cotentin, Alsace Lait, Laita, Yeo Frais and Laiterie H Triballa—none of whom are called "Fage" or "Noosa" and therefore I know the yogurt they make is not worth a damn! This corrupt YOGURT CARTEL, representing a huge percentage of all the inferior yogurt sold in the ironically snobby foodie nation of France, operated like an absolute criminal conspiracy, using secret phones and sneaking off to secret meeting in secret apartments to flat-out set the prices of bad yogurt prices throughout the country. There is little doubt that this YOGURT CARTEL enriched itself at the expense of the public, and now they will pay the price for it, like the wanton criminal YOGURT CARTEL that they are. Le pew!

The only good thing is maybe people inadvertently ended up eating less of this watery French yogurt because of all this price fixing.

France? Not a great yogurt country. Now, Greece—there's a great yogurt country.

[Crime scene photo via]

Here's the 911 Audio of Someone Swatting Lil Wayne's House 

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Here's the 911 Audio of Someone Swatting Lil Wayne's House 

A SWAT team surrounded Lil Wayne's Miami Beach mansion yesterday after a 911 caller claimed to have shot four people there. The call turned out to be a swatting hoax, a fake report of a crime too serious for law enforcement to ignore, even if they know it's likely fake. And in this case, there's a good chance the operator knew.

Here's the audio from the 911 call—what sounds like two calls, actually—obtained by TMZ:

"You called on the phone just to say that?" the dispatcher asks the first caller, who just gives his location as "Dwayne's house," and calls her a bitch.

The second caller, in a lower (possibly disguised?) voice, gives Wayne's address and repeatedly insists on officers being sent to the scene.

No one was actually shot, and Wayne wasn't home at the time. Police are still trying to ID the prankster or pranksters, TMZ reports.

[Photo: AP Images]

Gleeful WSJ Reporter Takes Hilarious Tour of Rikers Island

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Gleeful WSJ Reporter Takes Hilarious Tour of Rikers Island

So you're given a guided tour of a prison-complex-cum-nightmare-chamber where beatings are frequent and inmates die without medical care. What do you do? Pull out the iPhone and fire up Twitter—it's time for some laffs, baby.

This morning, Wall Street Journal city hall reporter Michael Howard Saul attended a press conference at Rikers Island, where Bill de Blasio was to speak about a slate of proposed reforms at the terrifying and violent jail. Before the briefing, reporters were given a glimpse at the life of an average inmate.

The tour started innocently enough. First, they saw a shower.

This is probably true—the shower does not look particularly private.

Next, they saw a cell.

This, too, is almost certainly true. Enlightening, even. A fleeting impression of the unadorned cube in which a Rikers prisoner—who may not have even been convicted of a crime—spends most of his time.

Then, they saw a toilet. Uh-oh.

Poop: Now there's a chuckle. Poop will bring the RTs rolling in. After poop, it was cupcake Sunday at one of New York's most deadly jails.

But it was not until after viewing a mirror and sink that Saul engaged full Jerry Seinfeld mode. What's up with that?

The criminal justice system in New York City disproportionately targets black and poor people, sending them to a notoriously violent and poorly-managed prison for minor infractions for which upper-class whites routinely go unpunished, and often depriving inmates of opportunities to gainful employment when they get out—plus, wow, would you get a load of this pillow?

Being a reporter is hard.

The world is Michael Howard Saul's prison, and we are his keepers. This jail is real—not like the movies, such as Silence of the Lambs.

And just like that, de Blasio showed up and ruined all their fun. Why so serious, Mr. Mayor?

Great reporting from a source we can trust.


Image via AP. Contact the author at andy@gawker.com.

Leo DiCaprio to Adrian Grenier: "Here Is $50,000 for You to Keep"

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Leo DiCaprio to Adrian Grenier: "Here Is $50,000 for You to Keep"

If Leonardo DiCaprio gave you $50,000, you would love it. Anyone would. And for one lucky man (Adrian Grenier from Entourage and the Park Slop food co-op) that dream is a reality.

"What's the scoop?" you're wondering. OK, here's the scoop: Wealthy celebrity Grenier wanted to make a whale movie, but not badly enough to pay for it himself, even though he has millions of dollars, so he made a Kickstarter with the hope that you would pay for it instead. Multiple non-celebrities gave him their hard-earned money ($278,000 worth of it), but not enough to make the whale movie. Damn. Is hope lost?

No.

From Deadline:

With less than 20 hours to go, Adrian Grenier and Joshua Zeman have fulfilled their fundraising goal on Kickstarter to finance the documentary 52: The Search For The Loneliest Whale — thanks to Leonardo DiCaprio who plunked down $50,000 to help the team out.

(The whale is lonely because it communicates at a frequency of 52 hertz, which no other whale can understand, and it has lived its entire life alone, crying out to no one. A very sad story for this whale.)

OK, well, that's the scoop. Thank you for helping the team out, Leonardo DiCaprio. Don't do Kickstarters, celebrities.

[images via Getty]

A Conversation About It Follows, 2015's First Must-See Horror Movie

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A Conversation About It Follows, 2015's First Must-See Horror Movie

David Robert Mitchell's It Follows is like nothing we've seen before, and yet it owes so much to what came before it. A cross-breeding of tropes from the past 40 years of horror cinema, the movie is gorgeously shot, vividly told, and full of teen characters that have an unusual amount of compassion for each other. At its center is Jay (played by The Guest's Maika Monroe) who contracts an STD that makes her see visions of ghosts following her. The only way to avert death is to pass on the bug.

For spoiler-y reasons explained below, It Follows reads like an HIV analogy whose levelheaded ideas counter those of '80s AIDS parables like David Cronenberg's The Fly. At least, that's how it reads to me—Mitchell, whom I interviewed at the office of his publicist a few weeks ago, told me that my interpretation wasn't exactly what he had in mind when writing the script. More on that, his debt to classic horror, and using jump scares tastefully is below in a condensed and edited transcript of our conversation.

Gawker: In general this doesn't feel like a run-of-the-mill horror movie. What was your agenda with It Follows?

David Robert Mitchell: It probably wasn't an agenda, but what was interesting to me about the film was creating a horror film that was more about the moments in between the horror being the primary focus. It's about waiting for something terrible to happen and that on some level, that might be worse than when something terrible does happen. A lot of the movie is structured around the dread an anxiety that the characters feel in the spaces in between things happening or between the monster arriving. You still feel the presence of the monster even in those moments because it could show up at any time. But it's about also them interacting with each other and caring about each other and trying to do the things that young people would do in this event. It's a character piece in those times.

I relate to what you said about the waiting trumping actual thrills. I love this movie, but only one or two shots legitimately scared me. I didn't feel like scaring me was your objective, per se.

I wanted to create dread and anxiety. That would be the number one thing. We wanted to scare people, but...it's hard to explain. Some people see the film and they just enjoy the experience of the movie. Some people see the film and they're not necessarily scared, but they've said to me, "Later on, I kinda felt some unease," and that's probably what I had in my head going into it. There are some people I've talked to who see the film and are genuinely frightened. I think it's a subjective thing. I think it comes down to what scares you at your core. This being based on an anxiety nightmare when I was young, I've talked to plenty of people who have had similar nightmares, so I think that there may be some people that the movie just hits harder. For me, it's a horror film, but it's more than that.

There's only one jump scare: a ball bouncing against a window.

That's the cheap one. I had to put one in. If you do one, it does help to make people a little more uneasy, because then they think that at any point you could do that again. It makes people tense up a bit.

It Follows is a particularly good-looking horror movie. Was that your objective: making a beautiful horror movie?

Yeah, 100 percent.

It feels conversant with horror cinema. I recently reread Carol Clover's Men, Women and Chainsaws and to me, it seems like you designed this movie to refute a lot of her theories about horror's tropes and functions.

I didn't write the film to refute anything in particular, but it definitely is in reactions to things in the sense that I'm embracing some cliches but then turning them just a little bit and bending them. It's my reinterpretation of those cliches. I'm not trying to fight any particular analysis of any film, but I'm aware of all those, and all of the different critical reads of famous horror films throughout history. I think there's a real value in those critiques and analytical approach to genre films. I think sometimes they may go a little too far, but I still enjoy them regardless.

Clover observers that "final girls" generally have masculine qualities, including their names. Your female protagonist is named Jay.

One hundred percent, yes.

But at the same time, she is extremely feminine and her sexuality is such a big part of her character.

Some people think in the film she's losing her virginity, but she's slept with other people before. This isn't her first sexual experience. It's not a groundbreaking moment for her. It's a normal thing and it just so happens that this terrible thing starts. To me, it's very common and normal. There's nothing wrong with it.

I assume that people interpret this as her being punished for her sexuality by the STD that you invented.

They do, or they think that I'm making some sort of puritanical statement with the movie. Again, it's not my intention. All I can say is you make films here in the United States, some aspect of a puritanical approach is probably going to seep into your movie no matter what. It's hard to avoid. That's how we are as a country, however you might feel about it. But it's not my intention to do that. I'm not trying to demonize sex or trying to persuade people not to have sex, but these are things that some people feel in watching the film, which is interesting to me. It's so far from the way I would interpret it, but you get back to that argument of do the filmmaker's intentions actually matter? Who knows. People are going to read this film many different ways, and I was aware of that in writing it, so I had all different kinds of ideas in terms of what the subtext of the film [was].

***Spoilery section of the interview begins***

Speaking of subtext, what It Follows struck me as overall was an updated HIV allegory. In the way that 1986's The Fly has been read to be about AIDS, your movie is about a sexually transmitted disease that seems deadly but ends up being a manageable chronic condition. Also, Jay's coming to terms with it through knowledge shadows the way many people have evolved culturally to understand HIV.

That's interesting. The reference to AIDS and STDs was one that I was completely aware of at the writing stage, and very conscious of—one of several, honestly. It's not the only way that I think the film could be read, but it's a very valid one. It is not necessarily the driving force for me, but I think it's very clearly there.

***Spoilery section of the interview ends***

What is the driving force for you?

I'm hesitant to say. I don't want to be like, "This is what the film means." The only thing I am comfortable saying about it is that, on some level, one of the things important to me is the discussion of mortality. That's probably another fairly obvious one in that we're all mortal, we're all here for a limited amount of time, it's something that we all are aware of. In the film, it's not necessarily sex that opens this character up to danger. Sex is just one aspect of living. So it's literally just life itself, the act of living, is what creates a necessity for us to die. It's literally about the moment at which you are becoming aware of your mortality and some of that has to do with growing up, and sex is part of that. The characters open themselves up to this danger through sex, but I like to think that sex and love are ways we can push death away, at least temporarily. That's sort of what happens in the film in a very literal way, but in the grander scheme of things, it's one of the ways in which we can really be alive and not be so focused on what happens to us. In that moment, we can be truly alive.

Do you actively think about the state of horror? How big of a nerd are you?

I watch a ton of horror, I always have. I really love it. I tend to look back to what I would say are the classics more, but there's some new stuff that I like. My favorite stuff is classically composed, very controlled, very deliberate kind of work.

Like Halloween?

Like Halloween. My favorite Carpenter is probably The Thing. But I love the original Thing. I've probably seen that more than the Carpenter version. Stuff I was looking at in regards to this included the original Body Snatchers, the Kaufman version, for sure. Certainly The Shining. A lot of Cronenberg. I love De Palma.

I noticed homage to A Nightmare on Elm Street.

A hundred percent — the neighbor boy [across the street].

And the opening feels like Halloween to me, too.

When we were shooting it, I wasn't saying, "This is the Halloween shot." We were shooting at that time of year, the neighborhood looks a certain way, there are a lot of things very much like that. I've studied Carpenter, so that just comes out. And then the music reference is the thing that sort of makes it a hundred percent there, and yes, we were referencing Carpenter with the music.

You can read weekend box office reports and see that there remains a thirst for horror in the moviegoing public: any shitty horror movie that is marketed extensively will do well, at least in its opening weekend. Take Ouija, for example. Even The Babadook, which was not particularly heavily marketed, grew its audience over the past year. It will be interesting to see what happens with It Follows—it's playing the Angelika in New York, which means it's being sold more as an art film than the popcorn/thriller genre that it pays homage to.

I think it's both. That was what I intended.

It Follows is in select theaters today.

Mark Jordan, a 54-year-old Texas man, has broken the world record for pullups--4,321 in 24 hours.


NYPD Employees Apparently Tried to Hide Police Brutality on Wikipedia

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NYPD Employees Apparently Tried to Hide Police Brutality on Wikipedia

On December 3, the Wikipedia article on the death of Eric Garner read in part: "Garner raised both his arms in the air and was then put in a chokehold from behind by officer Daniel Pantaleo." Later that day, it changed almost imperceptibly: Garner didn't just raise his arms, he flailed them, and Pantaleo's takedown may have been a headlock, not a chokehold. The subtly pro-cop edits didn't come from some impartial third party, but an IP address registered to the NYPD. They weren't the only ones.

A Capital New York investigation into Wikipedia edits made from inside the NYPD headquarters at One Police Plaza reveals several other incidents of apparent department employees attempting to alter articles on police violence or erase them entirely. One user working from a police IP address posted the following message to Wikipedia's "articles for deletion" page regarding the entry on Sean Bell, who was killed in 2006 when NYPD officers fired 50 shots at him and two other unarmed men:

He was in the news for about two months, and now no one except Al Sharpton cares anymore. The police shoot people every day, and times with a lot more than 50 bullets. This incident is more news than notable.

Fortunately, the suggestion to get rid of Bell's page was not taken seriously, and the article still exists. But later, another NYPD user changed the entry to read "one Latino and two African-American men were shot at a total of fifty times" instead of "shot a total fifty times."

Capital documents many other instances of edits to NYPD-related articles—including pages on stop-and-frisk and the Amadou Diallo killing—as well as several that don't have to do with policing at all. One worker apparently changed the article on the band Chumbawamba; another attempted to erase an entire section on "Allegations of police misconduct and the Civilian Complaint Review Board (CCRB)." (The CCRB is NYPD's internal mechanism for handling civilian complaints.)

According to Capital, notable edits came from about a dozen NYPD IPs. Many times, the Wikipedia community was quick to revert the changes, but the story goes to show that the encyclopedia—which can be edited anonymously by anyone with an internet connection—is ripe territory for disseminating propaganda.

Months later, at least one NYPD edit to the Garner article still lives on the page. Previously, the article read that Pantaleo used his hands to "push Garner's face onto the sidewalk," but after the police IP got to it in December, it reads "push Garner's head down onto the sidewalk."

The difference doesn't seem like much, but consider that the very first Google result for "Eric Garner"—victim of the most notorious case of NYPD violence in recent memory—now contains language placed by someone within the NYPD itself.

A police spokesperson told Capital the matter is under internal review.


Contact the author at andy@gawker.com.

Stripper's Dad Allegedly Extorted $2.6M From Retired Tech Exec

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Stripper's Dad Allegedly Extorted $2.6M From Retired Tech Exec

Three members of a Michigan family have been indicted for allegedly extorting a retired software executive to the tune of nearly $3 million over four years. Prosecutors say the man at the center of the conspiracy was threatening to reveal that his stripper daughter and her teenage cousin had been involved in a paid threesome with the millionaire victim.

Wealthy retiree Paul Vagnozzi allegedly met Jessica Tackett, now 25, in 2008, when she was working as topless dancer to support her family. Prosecutors allege he paid her for sex, and she eventually invited him to dinner with her parents.

That's where Vagnozzi met her Jessica's dad, 52-year-Terry Tackett—who's accused of masterminding the extortion plot.

Here's the prosecution's theory of the tangled web in which Tackett ensnared his rich victim, via the Detroit News:

During dinner, the alleged hooker's father, Terry Tackett, asked for a loan and Vagnozzi agreed.

In late summer 2008, the businessman paid to have a threesome with Jessica Tackett and her cousin, federal prosecutors alleged.

Jessica Tackett's father found out about the threesome in October 2008, according to court records.

Terry Tackett confronted the businessman. The unnamed cousin was a minor, he told Vagnozzi, and he threatened to tell the police unless the retired software executive paid hush money, prosecutors alleged.

At the time of the alleged threesome, prosecutors believe one girl was 17 and one was 18, according to a court filing.

After being threatened, Vagnozzi paid Terry Tackett $30,000. Then, he paid more money.

A lot more money. Despite Vagnozzi's attempts to get the Tacketts to sign a contract saying they'd never reveal the details of the threesome, there was one 18-month period where Vagnozzi allegedly gave Tackett $1.15 million in checks.

Withdrawals from Vagnozzi's account were so large and frequent they trigger an IRS investigation.

And it wasn't just the blackmail material hanging over Vagnozzi's head, prosecutors say.

"Terry Tackett threatened ... he would go to the police and report said alleged crime, cause physical harm to (the businessman), or have alleged associates of his in the 'mafia' or 'Jokers Motorcycle Club' cause physical harm ...," Assistant U.S. Attorney Eric Straus wrote in the indictment.

So Vagnozzi allegedly paid, and Tackett reportedly started throwing his mysterious new fortune around in splashy, conspicuous ways. He alleged bought six motorcycles, jet skis, gifts for his stripper girlfriends, and several cars—including one for which he paid $10,000 in cash ("mostly in $100s," according to a court filing.")

Terry Tackett has been charged with 119 separate counts in the conspiracy, including "conspiracy to obstruct justice, tax evasion, money laundering and banking crimes," the News reports. He faces up to 20 years in prison.

Tackett, who the News made sure to point out has a "a giant spiderweb [tattoo] covering his right elbow," pleaded not guilty in federal court Tuesday.

Jessica Tackett and her mom, Kimberly, are also facing charges of conspiracy to obstruct justice, with a maximum sentence of 5 years and a maximum fine of $250,000.

Vagnozzi hasn't been charged with anything and, as a victim, wasn't even named in the conspiracy complaint.

"I've moved on," he told the News. "I don't really want to say anything."

[Photo of Jessica Tackett via Facebook/The Detroit News]

Robert Durst Blinks Every Goddamn Time He Tells a Lie

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Robert "I Did Not Kill My Best Friend; I Did Dismember Him" Durst has admitted to lying several times over the course of HBO's magnificent docuseries The Jinx: The Life and Deaths of Robert Durst. (If you haven't been watching, what are you doing with your life? Go binge right now to catch up in time for Sunday's series finale.) He also maintains that he is innocent in the deaths of his wife Kathie Durst, his best friend Susan Berman, and his other best friend, Morris Black. Do not trust this man. If he offers you candy on the street, run the other away. If you find him hiding under your bed, burn down your house.

Durst has funny habit of saying something outlandish (usually to the tune of "I didn't do it") and then blinking so hard his body shudders. Check above for a supercut of examples. Why does he do this? Is it a general tic or one brought on by lying? Is it because, according to one commenter on the Los Angeles Times's site:

Bobby was wearing Japanese "Doe Eyes" contact lenses. They are designed to make you look like a baby deer, or innocent. The whites of the eyes are reduced.

In this case it made the person under interview blink frequently.

Or maybe he's just an insane liar. Yeah, I think that's it.

Reddit Is So Racist White Supremacists Are Using it to Recruit

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Reddit Is So Racist White Supremacists Are Using it to Recruit

Racism and general human toxicity have become more than a niche on Reddit: the site has made a name for itself in the larger cyber-bigot community. Racists now look at Reddit as an opportunity—a way to bring fresh hatemongers into the fold.

The Daily Stormer, as the name suggests, is a smaller offshoot of white supremacist mega-message board Stormfront, and has a history of cultivating ties with web culture institutions. When Andrew "Weev" Aurenheimer decided to come out as a neo-Nazi, he published on the Daily Stormer; the site also ran 8chan founder Frederick Brennan's pro-eugenics rant. It's a garbage pit, but a thriving one: like most other blogs, it hosts a vibrant community of likeminded racist commenters, who flock to the many article posted daily.

But one article stands out: "Reddit is Fertile Ground for Recruitment," which appeared on March 5th, just days before a Southern Poverty Law Center report that identified rampant white supremacist activity across site. "There are many terrific pro-White communities on Reddit," the post explains, shouting out gems like /r/CoonTown and /r/GasTheKikes. But Daily Stormer readers aren't just interested in checking out these scummy sub-reddits; the idea here is to find and further radicalize Redditors who might be on the fence about purging society of genetically impure elements.

It makes total sense: We already know how much Reddit enjoys conspiratorial thinking and self-victimization, now Daily Stormers do too. After all, "conspiracy-minded people are the most open to considering the reality, which is that international Jewry, in fact, runs our societies." But it's not just the openly paranoid sub-reddits that are ripe for recruitment, the article points out: "Other fertile grounds for recruitment on Reddit are the European-dominated subreddits, in particular, /r/worldnews, /r/worldpolitics, and /r/europe." In other words, Reddit's far-right infection goes well beyond the sections that identify as racist.

Keegan Hankes, who wrote the new SPLC report, told me he's noticed this recruitment phenomenon before: "[Reddit] provides an initial layer of credibility to these noxious ideas that makes it easier to be converted." And it wouldn't be the first time an online community has been successfully co-opted by neo-Nazis; as the Stormer article points out, "We brought 4chan over to our side long ago"—and the fascistic current of GamerGate is equally clear. Late last year I spoke with Andrew Anglin, Daily Stormer's publisher, about why the "Chan" websites and Reddit bigots seemed to have a newfound affinity for white supremacist thought. His reply was to the point:

I suppose we are fellow travellers. The chan/troll/gamer/internet community is very white, and more and more becoming aware of the fact that this makes them different from people who are not white.

When a /r/Europe poster notified the board that they were being targeted for recruitment, it was at first met with sarcasm: "Well, no one ever accused neo-Nazi's of being smart," replied one Redditor. But within a single day, the discussion had turned to comments like this: "its funny, hitler tried to warn you about the jews, now we live in debt to jewish usury and are being turned into minorities in our own countries."

Illustration by Jim Cooke


Contact the author at biddle@gawker.com.
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Sean Penn Loves to See Women Suffer

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Sean Penn appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live! last night to promote his relationship with Charlize Theron. There, he asked Jimmy Kimmel, "Britt or Kaitlyn?" —Whaaat? Sean Penn watches The Bachelor? Sean Penn—the serious film actor? You gotta be kidding me!

He does, and his reason why will shock you:

"We argue about whether or not we should fast [forward]. I don't really want to hear the conversations, I want to know the decisions. You can decide on this one or this one. And I want to see somebody cry. And then see somebody get ecstatic and then see them cry."

Yes, friends—Sean Penn loves to see women suffer.

[h/t UsMagazine]

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