Today the New York Times announced its selection of 20 new op-ed writers who will contribute to the paper on a monthly basis. Editorial page editor Andrew Rosenthal told Capital New York that his staff selected contributors with “a broad range of viewpoints and subjects and backgrounds and geographical locations and every kind of form of diversity that you can think of.” This commitment to a diversity of viewpoints is remarkably strong, as indicated by the paper’s inclusion of science writer Razib Khan.

According to his Times author page, Khan is “a science blogger, a programmer and a doctoral candidate in genomics and genetics at the University of California, Davis.” Omitted from the paper’s biography, as a quick Google search indicates, is Khan’s history with racist, far-right online publications.

Here, for example, are 68 posts Khan wrote for Taki’s Magazine. The site was founded in 2007 by Taki Theodoracopulos, the flamboyantly racist Greek journalist known for trumpeting his disgust for Puerto Ricans, contempt for Africans, and suspicion of Jews. Besides Khan, Taki publishes people like John Derbyshire (who wrote “The Talk: Black Edition,” an essay so racist National Review cut its ties with him) and Vice cofounder Gavin McInnes (who penned an essay titled “I’m Not a Racist, Sexist, or a Homophobe, You Nigger Slut Faggot”).

Khan wrote for Taki from January through September 2009. A decade earlier, in 2000, Khan wrote a letter to VDARE, a white nationalist website named after the first white child born in America, in which he discussed another VDARE essay by Steve Sailer, the openly racist science writer, concerning the threat of the United States becoming “more genetically and culturally Mexican.” According to the Southern Poverty Law Center, VDARE was considered a “relatively mainstream anti-immigration page” after it was founded in 1999; within the next four years, however, it began “regularly publish[ing] articles by prominent white nationalists, race scientists and anti-Semites,” and continues to do so.

VDARE’s racist ideology did not prevent Khan from earnestly linking to an essay published there in 2009. The author of the VDARE piece argued that the “defense of the West against the onslaught of Islam and Third-World immigration” required acknowledging that the State of Israel was part of the West and, by extension, under the very same threat. Khan’s response, published on Taki’s Magazine, consisted of his suggestion that the “West” seemed to be only Christian, not Judeo-Christian, in nature.

Khan’s writing elsewhere hardly rejects the doctrines on which these outlets are based. He merely treats what white racists taken for granted—that non-whites, and especially blacks, are intellectually inferior—as an open question worth exploring in the name of scientific inquiry. Still, Khan is careful with his actual words; he never says black people are less intelligent. But his willingness to treat black intelligence as a matter of debate has not hampered his career in the slightest. He’s written for Slate, The Daily Telegraph, and The Guardian. Indeed, he’s already placed two op-eds, about the evolution of cats and abortion politics, in The New York Times.

Congratulations to Khan. Even more congratulations, of course, to the Times.

H/T Jamelle Bouie

Email or gchat the author: trotter@gawker.com · PGP key + fingerprint · Photo credit: Getty Images

Last night 300 students at the University of Virginia rallied to protest the violent arrest of Martese Johnson, a fellow student who was reportedly bloodied by officers Tuesday night for trying to enter a local pub with an alleged fake ID.

As students marched around campus and into town, chants of "black lives matter" filled the air. At one point the march came to a standoff, and student protestors yelled to police: "We won't go!" Johnson was among those attending the rally, with facial injuries from his altercation with the Virginia Alcoholic Beverage Control officers still visible.

"This University opened me up," Johnson said to students during the rally. "You being here is the reason why I still believe in the community of trust even with a busted head standing here on this stage."

As news of Johnson's bloody arrest continued to spread beyond campus walls Wednesday night, UVA President Teresa Sullivan released a statement expressing her primary concern for the "safety and security" of all students.

Dear Students, Faculty and Staff:

I write to express my deep concern about an incident that occurred on The Corner early this morning and to provide information about immediate steps that I have taken in response.

At about 12:45 a.m., one of our students was injured while Virginia Alcoholic Beverage Control (ABC) agents were attempting to take him into custody on the sidewalk in front of Trinity Irish Pub. University Police and Charlottesville Police arrived on the scene shortly after the incident occurred. We have not yet clarified all of the details surrounding this event, but we are seeking to do so as quickly as possible.

This morning I met with Charlottesville Police Chief Tim Longo and University Police Chief Mike Gibson in an effort to learn more about the incident. Furthermore, because ABC is a state agency, I contacted the Governor's office to ask for an independent investigation of the incident. In response, the Governor has asked the Secretary of Public Safety to initiate an independent Virginia State Police investigation into the use of force in this matter.

As the investigation unfolds, eyewitnesses will play an essential role in shedding light on the details of this incident. I urge students and other members of our community who witnessed the incident or have other direct knowledge of it to come forward. Please contact the Virginia State Police at 804-674-2000 immediately.

The safety and security of our students will always be my primary concern, and every member of our community should feel safe from the threat of bodily harm and other forms of violence. Today, as U.Va. students, faculty, and staff who share a set of deeply held values, we stand unified in our commitment to seeking the truth about this incident. And we stand united in our belief that equal treatment and equal justice are among our fundamental rights under the law.

Teresa A. Sullivan
President

Another statement released by the governor of Virginia's office called on an outside agency to investigate the use of force used during the arrest.

Governor McAuliffe is concerned by the reports of this incident and has asked the Secretary of Public Safety to initiate an independent Virginia State Police investigation into the use of force in this matter. The Governor's office has been in contact with University of Virginia President Teresa Sullivan and local law enforcement and will continue to monitor this situation closely as the investigation proceeds.

(A full list of statements made by various UVA student groups, school administrators, and Johnson's attorney can be seen here.)

Many reports have made note of Johnson's exceptional academic record, his executive involvement with the UVA Honor Committee and Black Student Alliance, as well as his outgoing, affable personality. But none of that should matter. Even if Johnson was a less-than-average student with failing grades, I'd hope an incident of this nature would still be cause for a closer look at the complicated history between local law enforcement and UVA students, as well as the terror being brought upon black and brown lives in Charlottesville.

"Its still hard for me, I can't believe I'm even up here right now, I have no words, because I'm sick and tired of this," UVA law student Manny Brown said during the open-mic portion of Wednesday night's rally. "What I'm going to do is to continue to say that black lives matter until it's true."

[Image via Getty]

I'm a seapunk and I love it and I'm drinking passion iced tea and I also love it.

Thanks for listening.

Photo via Splash News. Contact the author at allie@gawker.com.

Penn State's Kappa Delta Rho fraternity was suspended for one year earlier this week after a former member exposed the frat's sleazy private Facebook group, where members exchanged photos of passed-out, naked women who did not appear "aware that the photos had been taken."

In an interview with Philadelphia magazine, an anonymous KDR member who seemed to think he was defending his brothers only succeeded in digging a deeper hole for himself and his compatriots.

Here's the statement he sent the magazine, which makes no sense:

It is shameful to see the self-righteousness that has sprung from the woodworks in response to the alleged Penn State fraternity "scandal." Here's a quick reality check: everyone — from Bill Clinton to your grandfather to every Greek organization in the nation does the same old stuff, just as they have been for the entirety of human history. That's where that lil' old quip, don't throw stones if you live in a glass house, comes from. And believe me, we all live in a glass house. Thus it is laughably pathetic to see the media spring on an occasional incident such as this, especially a media complicit in overturning the same sexual mores and moral standards that for millennia had at least to some extent curbed outright licentiousness. The fire of indignant, misplaced self-righteousness that looks to ruin people's lives and unjustly ruin reputations is the abuse and violation that should be at the center of discussion, not the humorous, albeit possibly misguided, antics of a bunch of college kids.

To our Anonymous bro, "every Greek organization in the nation does the same old stuff" isn't the sign of a problem endemic to American fraternity culture, it's a boys-will-be-boys defense. And sharing compromising photos of women without their consent isn't a "scandal," it's just "humorous antics."

This is the sort of solid reasoning you can look forward to throughout his interview, which he begins by comparing the fraternity's punishment to a witch hunt:

When somebody happens to be caught doing the same thing that everyone else is doing … [and] they're just tossed in the crowd, you know. Like back in the Middle Ages, they would find a witch or somebody who the community thought was a witch or something like that and toss them to the crowd, you know? When the person's no different than anyone else.

Oh, indeed. These boys are no different than anyone else who has a scummy Facebook group, which, as Anony-bro suggested in his statement, is probably everyone.

Philly Mag: ... Do you know other fraternities that have similar Facebook pages?

KDR member: No.

Oh.

The anonymous KDR member goes on to say that he feels the frat's misdeeds and subsequent suspension are being overblown and overreported by the media. "This is not a criminal thing. It's not anyone else's business, pretty much. It's an inter-fraternity thing and that's that," he says.

According to State College police, Kappa Delta Rho members could face criminal charges, including harassment and invasion of privacy.

At some point in the interview, the fraternity member switches from the "everybody else does it" defense to the "it's just, you know fooling around" gambit, describing the photos as rare occurrences in a forum that was "primarily ... for important fraternity business."

"The questionable postings are single instances out of hundreds, if not thousands, of different postings that are related to stuff like community service," he says.

"I don't want to get into numbers," State College Police Assistant Chief John Gardner told CBS News this week, "but they were pretty disturbing."

Hmm.

By the way, something you might not know about KDR's secret, skeezy Facebook page is that, in addition to being mainly for chatting about community service, it's also just "satire," comparable to posting "the swimsuit model of the day." (Except the model is nude, unconscious, and hasn't given consent.)

Putting aside that our foot-chewing bro doesn't appear to understand what "satire" means, he has one, final foolproof defense for what the fraternity members did: The group was secret, and those bitches never would have known their pictures had been posted if it hadn't been for that one fuckin' snitch. So basically, it's all his fault.

Philly Mag: But doesn't that put a lot of trust in all 144 guys? Any of them can take a photo from the "secret" group and make it public.

KDR member: But nobody except the one kid who snitched out this group did that …

Cool.

Any last words, now that you've spent an entire interview obliviously throwing your brothers under the bus?

"I hope nobody gets in trouble because nobody did anything worth getting in trouble over."

The "defense" rests.

[h/t Philly Mag, Photo: AP Images]

I've heard of Cara Delevingne in a picture, but Cara Delevigne in a movie?

It's true. Cara Delevingne, beautiful model who is currently dating the perfect Annie Clark, is in some sort of movie now. It doesn't look good, but you know what?

Cara still looks good.

Love you, Cara.

Ludacris hasn't been a great or even good rapper in a very long time. But today he met Jeb Bush and sent a nice little punchline at the entire Bush family, staff, record label, and crew.

Luda was as at the Georgia Capitol in Atlanta this morning because he was being formally recognized by the state House for the charitable work he's done through his Ludacris Foundation. Jeb Bush was there for some other other bullshit, and a photo-op was arranged between the two so that Jeb would have an opportunity to present himself as something more than a stiff and boring politician.

Here is a tweet from Jeb proving just that:

Never thought @Ludacris would be my opening act! His foundation does great work pic.twitter.com/RsF00SQgOw

— Jeb Bush (@JebBush) March 19, 2015

Haha. "Rappers are cool and not dangerous!" — Jeb Bush

Jeb, in full ham mode, also told the press that he "just came to see Ludacris," which is like the old white politician's version of that Marshawn Lynch quote.

In any event, Ludacris—who has a history of criticizing Jeb's older brother—took the photo, but he wasn't about to play Jeb's game.

As he is leaving statehouse, Ludacris is asked which Bush is his favorite. His response: "The one outside." #gapol pic.twitter.com/7tCh12qiOc

— Greg Bluestein (@bluestein) March 19, 2015

Granted, he should have said, "Your mom's," but this will do.

[image via Jeb Bush]

Zayn Malik, your least favorite member of One Direction if you had to rank them, no offense to Zayn Malik, has quit One Direction's world tour. Uh-oh.

The Daily Mail reports Malik pulled out of a commercial recording in Hong Kong today in order to fly back to the UK "due to the stress of media speculation on his private life." The stress is in response to photos released yesterday that show Malik sort of standing next to a woman who is not his fiancé—a "mystery blonde," you might say.

ZAYN HOLDING HANDS WITH A GIRL TODAY! pic.twitter.com/u2hglJP1OD

— OTRA Updates! (@OTRADaily) March 18, 2015

Zayn responded to the speculation on Twitter yesterday, saying he loves a girl named Perrie Edwards, which is the name of his fiancé:

I'm 22 years old... I love a girl named Perrie Edwards. And there's a lot of jealous fucks in this world I'm sorry for what it looks like x

— zaynmalik1D (@zaynmalik) March 18, 2015

Twenty-two years old and engaged! It's certainly not our place to judge, but if it were my judgment would be: a little too young.

A spokesperson for the band released a statement today about his departure:

"Zayn has been signed off with stress and is flying back to the UK to recuperate. The band wish him well and will continue with their performances in Manila and Jakarta."

Our sincerest condolences to the Zayniacs.

[image via Getty]

Contact the author at kelly.conaboy@gawker.com.

The Department of Justice's investigation of the Ferguson Police Department has scandalized the nation, and justly so. But the department's institutional racism, while shocking, isn't the report's most striking revelation.

More damning is this: in a major American city, the criminal justice system perceives a large part of that city's population not as citizens to be protected, but as potential targets for what can only be described as a shake-down operation designed to wring money out of the poorest and most vulnerable by any means they could, and that as a result, the overwhelming majority of Ferguson's citizens had outstanding warrants.

Many will try to write off this pattern of economic exploitation as some kind of strange anomaly. In fact, it's anything but. What the racism of Ferguson's criminal justice system produced is simply a nightmarish caricature of something that is beginning to happen on every level of American life; something which is beginning to transform our most basic sense of who we are, and how we—or most of us, anyway—relate to the central institutions of our society, in ways that are genuinely disastrous.

The DOJ's report has made us all familiar with the details: the constant pressure on police to issue as many citations as possible for minor infractions (such as parking or seat-belt violations) and the equal pressure on the courts to make the fines as high as possible; the arcane court rules apparently designed to be almost impossible to follow (the court's own web page contained incorrect information); the way citizens who had never been found guilty—indeed, never even been accused—of an actual crime were rounded up, jailed, threatened with "indefinite" incarceration in fetid cells, risking disease and serious injury, until their destitute families could assemble hundreds if not thousands of dollars in fines, fees, and penalties to pay their jailers.

As a result of such practices, over three quarters of the population had warrants out for the arrest at any given time. The entire population was criminalized.

It's important to remember though that these were not criminal warrants. The inhabitants were not even being accused of actual crimes (that is, felonies or misdemeanors.) Parking tickets, or tickets for unmoved lawns or improperly placed trash receptacles, are not criminal matters, they are violations of administrative codes having the same legal standing as, say, a supermarket's failure to take a loaf of bread past the due date off their shelves. They were simply being treated as if they were criminals.

Obviously, this picture has almost nothing to do with anything we normally consider "justice." Still, if the image of police terrorizing and manhandling citizens over parking fines seems bizarre, it's partly because we tend to forget who and what the police actually are. The police spend very little of their time dealing with violent criminals—indeed, police sociologists report that only about 10% of the average police officer's time is devoted to criminal matters of any kind. Most of the remaining 90% is spent dealing with infractions of various administrative codes and regulations: all those rules about how and where one can eat, drink, smoke, sell, sit, walk, and drive. If two people punch each other, or even draw a knife on each other, police are unlikely to get involved. Drive down the street in a car without license plates, on the other hand, and the authorities will show up instantly, threatening all sorts of dire consequences if you don't do exactly what they tell you.

The police, then, are essentially just bureaucrats with weapons. Their main role in society is to bring the threat of physical force—even, death—into situations where it would never have been otherwise invoked, such as the enforcement of civic ordinances about the sale of untaxed cigarettes.

For most of American history, police enforcement of such regulations was not considered a major source of funding for local government. But today, in many municipalities, as much as 40% of the money governments depend on comes from the kinds of predatory policing that has become a fact of life for the citizens of Ferguson.How did this happen? Some of it, of course, has to do with populist anti-tax movements, beginning with California's Proposition 13. But much of it has happened because in recent decades, local governments have become deeply indebted to large, private financial institutions—many of the same ones that brought of us the crash of 2008. (In Ferguson, for instance, the amount of revenue collected in fines corresponds almost exactly to that shelled out to service municipal debt.) Increasingly, cities find themselves in the business of arresting citizens in order to pay creditors.

But the banks themselves are using very similar methods. Most financial institutions themselves now acquire the majority of their profits from penalizing members of the general public for rule-breaking. According to a 2012 report by the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, overdraft and insufficient funds fees made up sixty-one percent of bank profits from consumer checking accounts; and in 2009, J. P Morgan Chase, the biggest bank in America, reported 71% of its total profits derived from fees and penalties. Put another way, this means that the profitability of America's banks is based on knowingly creating rules so complicated that they know a significant portion of their customers won't to be able to follow them—and then punishing those customers for failing to do so.

And this pattern can be observed down the line. Even our higher education system now operates largely as an engine for trapping students in permanent debt, and much of the profits to be extracted from student debtors comes from penalizing them for missed payments, postponements and defaults.

Almost every institution in America—from our corporations to our schools, hospitals, and civic authorities—now seems to operate largely as an engine for extracting revenue, by imposing ever more complex sets of rules that are designed to be broken. And these rules are almost invariably enforced on a sliding scale: ever-so-gently on the rich and powerful (think of what happens to those banks when they themselves break the law), but with absolute Draconian harshness on the poorest and most vulnerable. As a result, the wealthiest Americans gain their wealth, increasingly, not from making or selling anything, but from coming up with ever-more creative ways to make us feel like criminals.

This is a profound transformation, and one we barely talk about. But it is rapidly altering people's most basic conceptions of their relations with society at large.

In a very real sense, the "middle class" is not an economic category, it's a social one. To be middle class is to feel that the fundamental institutional structures of society are, or should be, on your side. If you see a policeman and you feel more safe, rather than less, then you can be pretty sure you're middle class. Yet for the first time since polling began, most Americans in 2012 indicated they do not, in fact, consider themselves middle class.

The Department of Justice report on the Ferguson Police Department should give us the means to finally begin to understand why. Most Americans no longer feel that the institutions of government are, or even could be, on their side. Because increasingly, in a very basic sense, they're not.

David Graeber teaches anthropology at the London School of Economics. He is the author of Debt: The First 5,000 Years, Towards an Anthropological Theory of Value, Lost People: Magic and the Legacy of Slavery in Madagascar, Fragments of an Anarchist Anthropology, Possibilities: Essays on Hierarchy, Rebellion, and Desire, and Direct Action: An Ethnography. His latest book is The Utopia of Rules.

[Illustration by Jim Cooke]

Florida Gov. Rick Scott's unofficial official policy of climate denial has taken a turn for the bizarre: A high-level employee in the state Department of Environmental Protection now says he was suspended and told to get a medical evaluation for refusing to purge mentions of climate change from a state record.

Scott—the dumbest politician in the history of politicians, capable of tuning out an entire room of scientists confronting him with fact-type thingies—has come under fire for more than a week after multiple reports from state workers that his administration banned them from mentioning climate change, global warming and sea-level rise, issues that are sort of germane in a state with 1,350 miles of coastline and the lowest elevation above sea level of any state other than Delaware.

Scott, predictably, denies such a policy is in place. But state land management coordinator Barton Bibler—who clearly was trying to test the administration's (rising) waters—has been forced by the state to prove he's not crazy after he refused to scrub mentions of "climate change" from the official minutes of a department meeting where he says climate change was a major topic of discussion.

Here's what happened, according to Public Employees for Environmental Responsibility (PEER), which has taken up Bibler's case:

He attended a Florida Coastal Managers Forum on February 27, 2015 at which climate change and sea-level rise were discussed among a mix of public attendees. Mr. Bibler's official notes on this meeting reflected all of that discussion. He was directed to remove any hot button issues, especially explicit references to climate change, and then was given a letter of reprimand for supposedly misrepresenting that the "official meeting agenda included climate change."

According to Bibler's notes on the meeting, climate change was on a lot of people's minds:

But according to his letter of reprimand, Bibler's notes originally included that climate change agenda under the name of the meeting's moderator, a high-ranking official named Ann Lazar. "This was not part of the original agenda developed by Ann," Bibler's supervisor wrote, and so he was sent back to "revise" his notes—perhaps out of fear that they might suggest Lazar had run afoul of the Scott administration's unwritten edict.

Bibler altered the header to remove Lazar's name from the notes, but he kept all the mentions of climate change. That, PEER says, led to the state putting Bibler on leave and telling him not to come back until he was cleared by a doctor. His reprimand cited the state's ordinance against public employees doing political lobbying while on the job.

The documents suggest Bibler was hardly blameless in the incident; during the meeting, his comments veered into personal opinions against the Keystone XL pipeline, which—however dumb it may be—isn't perhaps among the topics most relevant to the state's struggle with climate change. And when Bibler's supervisor ordered him to alter his record of the meeting, he got downright juvenile, according to his reprimand:

You then emailed what you said was an attached agenda of your notes of agency reports on climate change. The attachment was of the words Keystone XL Pipeline with a red circle and a cross through it.

Immature, sure, and a level of subordinate squirreliness that warranted correction. But if climate change was a major topic of the meeting, why was Bibler ordered to alter his account of the gathering? And did his behavior really warrant a psych eval? His supervisors sure think so:

Based upon Personnel Rules regarding Attendance and Leaving, specifically, Compulsory Disability Leave and also information we have received regarding your medical condition and behavior, we have attached a Medical Release Form you will need to have your doctor complete before you will be able to return to work.

The Department of Environmental Protection (DEP) is requesting your physician's professional opinion concerning your ability to return to work and to perform the duties and responsibilities of your position on a full time basis.

Elsewhere in Bibler's reprimand, his supervisor calls his job performance "exceptionally good" and makes clear that he is "a valued employee." But, it adds, "your inappropriate behavior must be permanently changed in order to re-establish a relationship of trust between you and your supervisors."

A DEP spokeswoman refused to comment on Bibler's case, only telling the Palm Beach Post Wednesday: "There's no such policy banning the use of 'climate change.'"

[Photo via]

Annie Clark, perfect goddess and supposed ice queen, also known as St. Vincent also known as Cara Delevingne's current alleged bonkmate, has gotten into some uncharacteristic trouble in South America when she allegedly destroyed several paintings that were commissioned to decorate her dressing room. That doesn't sound right. Why would you allegedly do that, Annie Clark? You wanna tell me?

The guitar player was in Santiago after a set (probably very good) at Lollapalooza Chile when she reportedly "destroyed" several paintings that were adorning her dressing room. I don't know about that, but apparently Oh No They Didn't does:

After a discussion- still don't know what started it, the guitarist destroyed the paintings and the affected, visual artist Constanza Ragal, sued for $ 4,800. First she had a "restriction order", which implied that St. Vincent did not leave Chile, but apparently it was not compulsory for her to stay.

According to MTV, the artist responded to a fan on Instagram who asked if her paintings were destroyed by the #queen, saying "Yes, with knives and violence."

Annie—I can call you that, right—is this true? I know you are now in Paraguay, but if you have access to email, please contact me below. Or, if you prefer, you can call my cell phone, the number for which I'm positive you have.

[Image via Getty]

Contact the author at dayna.evans@gawker.com.

The five gyms I've used as an adult have had one thing in common: All of the elliptical machines—or the "good ones," at least—are always in use during peak hours. Every other machine—stairs, rowing, treadmill, etc.—usually have at least a vacancy or two, but not the fancy ellipticals.

Some people—suckers, for instance—might attribute this to the good ellipticals being the best machines on which to take a casual stroll while reading your phone or watching something on TV. And yes, that is true. But there's another, more sinister theory out there, invented I think by me, Taylor (Berman): The companies behind the fancy ellipticals have rigged their machines' computers to artificially inflate the calorie count in order to give the gym-goer a higher sense of achievement. This, in turn, makes the machines more popular. That, in turn, makes the manufacturers more money.

Who, exactly, believes this, aside from me? Gawker and Deadspin fitness columnist Hamilton Nolan said, "Yes[, it's possible]. Good investigation." Thanks. And there are probably hundreds or thousands of other people at the gym right now, thinking the same thing.

The fact is: Calorie counters on workout machines are inherently inaccurate. Without entering your exact height, weight, and age, while also monitoring your heart rate and accounting for your general fitness, metabolism, and health history, plus the machine's wear and tear over thousands of hours of use, you'll never receive an accurate count of how many you're burning.

Elliptical machines are the worst offenders, according to science. In a 2010 calorie-counting experiment commissioned by noted research facility Good Morning America (carried out in the University of California at San Francisco's Human Performance Center) the elliptical machine tested overestimated the number of calories burned by 42 percent. The treadmill, by comparison, only overestimated by 13 percent, the stair climber by 12 percent, and the stationary bike by just seven percent.

Fancy elliptical machine maker Precor defend its machines' inaccurate calorie counters on its website:

Precor equipment calculate caloric consumption from a proprietary algorithm based on an average profile developed in conjunction with the American College of Sports Medicine. A number of variables determine the formula, including weight, speed, incline setting and torque. Since people burn calories at different rates, it is impossible to create absolutely accurate calorie burn rates without using sophisticated and sensitive monitoring equipment. Therefore, the calorie burn rate shown on the console fits an average profile. The actual accuracy of the results depends on how close you are to the average profile. These results should be used as a benchmark and not as an absolute measurement.

And yet: Have you ever used an elliptical and not been surprised by how many calories you were burning so quickly, and with such relative ease?

Conspiracy.

According to a 2011 study by the esteemed International Health, Racquet and Sports Club Association, 31.5 percent of gym users say they use the elliptical machine. And—if a Building-Muscle101.com blog post stating that, between 2005 and 2006, elliptical machines experienced "an impressive 29% sales growth!"—is to be believed, those numbers will just keep rising.

Elliptical machine manufacturers have clearly rigged the gym game in their favor, even more so than the equally-corrupt makers of other exercise equipment. These machinations are, of course, unnecessary because elliptical machines are already super easy and the natural choice of the sort of people inclined to be swayed by calorie counts in the first place.

What can we do to stop Big Elliptical? Probably nothing. But you could try the rowing machines instead, I like those.

This is Illuminati Month on Black Bag, in which Gawker locks itself in the woodshed and breaks out the red yarn to explore its favorite conspiracy theories. Photo by Shutterstock. Contact the author at taylor@gawker.com.

[UPDATED BELOW] Since 2006, the venerable libertarian anti-interventionist website AntiWar.com has hosted uncensored photos of abuses committed by United States troops at the Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq. You can see them here. On Wednesday morning, AntiWar.com received an automated email from Google explaining that the site was being suspended from Google's AdSense ad network, because that page violates AdSense policy. Either Google is incorrectly enforcing its own policies, or their policies do not allow for controversial — but clearly and objectively newsworthy — content.

[UPDATE: AntiWar.com was indeed in violation — if barely — of AdSense policy. See below for details.]

Here's Google's explanation of the policy AntiWar.com is in violation of, from their email to the site:

VIOLENCE/GORE: As stated in our program policies, AdSense publishers are not permitted to place Google ads on pages with violent or disturbing content, including sites with gory text or images. More information about this policy can be found in our help center ( https://support.google.com/adsense/answer... ).

VIOLENCE: As stated in our program policies, AdSense publishers are not permitted to place Google ads on pages with violent content. This includes sites with content related to breaking bones, getting hit by trains or cars, or people receiving serious injuries. More information about this policy can be found in our help center ( https://support.google.com/adsense/answer... ).

Obviously, there is an important difference between "gore" of the titillating, "Faces of Death" variety and "gore" that depicts human rights abuses carried out by the United States military. Are Google's algorithms and human monitors capable of recognizing that difference?

AntiWar.com cofounder Eric Garris thinks, understandably, that Google was requesting that they pull the pictures entirely if AntiWar.com is to continue working with AdSense. He told me that total suspension from AdSense could cost the site thousands of dollars a month, which is a decent chunk of AntiWar.com's modest budget. (They're currently looking into joining alternate ad networks.)

Garris also told me that the Abu Ghraib page has never actually included Google ads, specifically because of the obvious possibility that advertisers would balk at seeing their ads there. According to a Google spokesperson, that would mean AntiWar.com hasn't actually violated AdSense policies at all. What's still unclear is why this suspension happened, how AntiWar.com can get reinstated, and how they can make sure something like this doesn't happen in the future.

When found to be in violation of policy, AdSense clients are told to remove the offending content and ask to be reinstated in the program, and they are given very little recourse to challenge Google's interpretation of its policy. Feel free to try out the "Appeal a Violation Notification Troubleshooter" yourself. As you can see, if you answer "no" to "Have you fixed the policy issues we contacted you about?" you are effectively told that that is not a valid response:

We encourage you to make the necessary changes to ensure that the content in your network complies with program policies. In many cases, our decision is final. However, in some cases, if you are able to make appropriate changes to bring your site into compliance, we may re-enable ad serving to your site.

Once you make the necessary changes you may submit an appeal by using this troubleshooter. Please don't do so until you’ve ensured that your websites comply with our program policies.

Other Google support documents similarly do not allow for the idea that Google's policies or interpretation of its policies are flawed, or that a mistake could have been made:

File a strong appeal: Once you've done all of the above then you're ready and welcome to send us your appeal. To make sure that the appeal is a strong one, please tell us exactly what action you've taken on your site to resolve the violations and also tell us how you'll prevent similar occurrences in the future. You could even include some other example URLs that you've taken action on proactively. The more information you provide us with the better informed we are and can see how serious you are about working with us and remaining compliant. Once you're ready to start the appeals process, please file your appeal using this Policy Violation Appeal form.

According to Garris, AntiWar's ad sales representative reached out to AdSense contacts and was told to formally appeal by mail — U.S. Mail, not email. AntiWar.Com received another email from AdSense support this morning, that again called for the site to remove ads from pages that the site says never had ads on them to begin with, or to "remove the pages completely."

I was able to reach a Google spokesperson who confirmed that if, as Garris insists, the Abu Ghraib photo pages never featured ads, then they weren't in violation of AdSense policy. The spokesperson couldn't comment on specific instances of AdSense policy application, but I was told that Google was in the process of "reaching out to the publisher."

And indeed, shortly after I spoke with Google, AntiWar.com received another email from AdSense.

Hi Eric,

Our media team noticed your blog post and informed me regarding the issue you raise in your post.

I am very sorry that you had this experience, as we should have warned you before blacklisting the site, which we didn't. Our warning would have mentioned simply removing our AdSense code from the Abu Ghraib page, which would allow you to continue earning money on the other pages of your site that were not in violation of any AdSense policies. At this point, please remove the ad code from this page and we can reinstate ad serving throughout your site. Once complete, please file a site appeal, and our team will review ASAP. Further, revenue earned to this point, and after reinstatement will not be affected.

Google does need to be very careful with this sort of thing, since we have to make sure that our ads do not appear on pages that violate any of our policies. There are surprising instances of bad actors out there, and even otherwise trustworthy publishers can end up being the victim of bad traffic. At the same time, though, partners like you deserve a better customer service experience even when there are problems. Your post has sparked conversation here — you have been heard.

Please feel free to reach out again if need be. While I can't solve everything, I'm happy to hear from great partners like you directly.

Best, [Redacted]

Garris still says the pages in question have never included ad code. If he's correct, Google's continued insistence otherwise is baffling. Even if Garris is wrong, and ad code was accidentally inserted into the Abu Ghraib pages, it's highly unlikely that Google would've been this responsive to his appeal if a journalist at an outlet with a national audience hadn't inquired with Google PR.

UPDATE 2:15 p.m.: After another review of the pages cited by Google, AntiWar.com did find remnants of AdSense code, probably dating back to a CMS migration. It doesn't appear that the code was actually delivering any ads, and even if it were, the ads would've been invisible to a reader. It remains the case that Google AdSense support is lacking for smaller publishers — ad-delivering code on a controversial page with genuine news value shouldn't immediately result in a full suspension from the network — and it's unclear whether Google is able to distinguish between working, ad-delivering code and stray remnants. (If it can, it probably should tell publishers in greater detail where the offending code is when issuing suspensions.)

Overeager moderation by the behemoth companies that have an outsized influence on internet traffic and site revenue is not at all uncommon. (Facebook is a particularly egregious offender. Gawker itself was once suspended from Facebook after an unknown person or persons reported posts on Ferguson as "racist.") And the process for appealing these sorts of incidents is frustratingly opaque, especially for publishers who don't have specific personal contacts within Google or Facebook. A simple search — on Google, naturally — for AdSense contact information turns up numerous forum posts, dating back years, from publishers trying to appeal suspensions or ask simple questions about the network but who are unable to reach human beings at Google.

Google may resolve this particular case fairly, but the incident should still worry publishers of controversial political content who rely on Google for revenue. It looks to be much too easy for a malicious complaint, a faulty algorithm, simple human misinterpretation or overeager application of policy to cost a publisher a lot of money. The result could be a very real chilling effect on independent journalism.

Photo via Getty

Last month we published several rumors about Spacey’s behavior toward men. We got an earful from his fans, whose general argument was: Everyone knows already, and Spacey likes his privacy—so why are you bringing that up? But it appears that the actor is not as circumspect, or genteel, as these reactions suggest. To the young men he encounters, in fact, Spacey may be one of the most aggressive and boundary-challenged players in Hollywood.

Below are 13 tales, lightly edited for clarity, that we received in the weeks since our previous post went up. Have your own Kevin Spacey story, or heard one from a friend? Throw it in the comments below, or send us an email. We’re particularly interested in any stories from the House of Cards set, where (judging from our tips inbox) our last post has been making the rounds.

1. Sundance (via email)

From: [Redacted]
Date: Tue, Feb 17, 2015 at 11:57 PM
Subject: Kevin Spacey @ Sundance.

I'll get right to it.

I was at the Sundance Film Festival in 2003. For a small-town boy, this was a big deal, and I was awed on a near-hourly basis in Park City. On the third night, at a vodka-sponsored soiree, I felt a hand on my bum at the martini bar. I turn around to see—you guessed it—Kaiser Soze.

I didn’t really have my wits about me at this point; I was more starstruck than uncomfortable, and simply smiled politely and passed him a drink from the free bar. He followed me around the room and asked me to a private after-party: ‘Give me your name, and I'll put it with mine—you’ll get in.’ So I did, like a drunk kid hands over his ID to the cops without question.

The after party—a swanky affair with fountains of chocolate and Cirque dancers in neon-tards—ended with me leaving a little shaken (after the first round of drinks and appetizers) when he and a portly agent friend strongly suggested I should be the support beam in their Eiffel Tower...if you smell what I'm cooking.

And there you have it.

2. Chicago (via email)

From: [Redacted]
Date: Wed, Feb 18, 2015 at 12:05 AM
Subject: Kevin Spacey is Gay

Greetings,

In the spring of 2014, I was working as a waiter at a fancy bar/restaurant in Chicago’s Gold Coast and a coworker of mine had a very intriguing encounter with Mr. Spacey. It was not unusual at all for celebrities to come into the place where I worked. I have taken care of Joakim Noah, Derrick Rose, B.J. Armstrong, Warren Buffet, and various other big names, but the one time Kevin Spacey came in was different.

I wasn’t scheduled on the night that Spacey came in but my friend, L., filled me in the next morning on what was a luxurious and eye opening night with Kevin Spacey. For the record, L. showed up 5 hours later for his 8 a.m. shift the following day and looked like he had been up doing cocaine for days.

So the story begins with Kevin Spacey being in the restaurant and of course everyone is aware of that and everyone is making damn sure to make him feel uncomfortable. I feel bad for celebrities when I see how much disruption they receive while doing such ordinary things, that shit must get old after a while…but then again I don’t feel bad because I am slaving away for a tip that these people wouldn’t pick up off the street because it wouldn't be worth their time. I digress.

The storyteller, L., is the lucky server who happened to have the section that Spacey is seated at. Now L. is a pretty smooth guy and fits the server mold quite well so when he told me that Kevin Spacey invited him to come out with him after work I wasn't all that surprised because of L.’s natural charm and that I had heard that Kevin Spacey is just a really fucking nice guy.

The rest of the story isn’t anything too exciting. Just typical going out to high end clubs and partying it up on Spacey’s dime. This story culminates when I start to notice a bit of a tinge in L.’s facial expressions as he goes into the next part of his story. He explains that at the end of the night Spacey invited my coworker L. and some of the other people they were with back to his suite at the Ritz Carlton for an after party. And after a a short while Spacey eventually asked that everyone leave besides L.

My eyes lit up at this point. I stopped him right there. “Did Kevin Spacey try to bang you last night?” I asked with the utmost curiosity.

“He did try to bang me….I thanked him for the nice evening and left,” said L.

— [Redacted]

P.S. I am 22 years old and do not question my heterosexuality whatsoever, but if Kevin Spacey tried to bang me, I’d be out and back in the door with a tube of Astroglide before he could even take off his belt off.

3. Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil (via email)

From: [Redacted]
Date: Tue, Feb 17, 2015 at 6:42 PM
Subject: spacey

When Kevin Spacey was in Savannah filming Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil, he was staying in an old firehouse converted into a somewhat chic urban dwelling. Parquet marble floors, etc. Anyway, he frequently went to the gay bar, which in all fairness was the only place to hear decent music or get blow, and a lot of the cast/crew went there. It was also convenient to where most of them were staying and the shooting downtown.

Spacey would take home small groups of attractive boys/girls, and they would hang by the very enclosed pool, but as the night grew, the crowd would shrink to Kevin and the boys....

He was an excellent tenant, and left the place immaculate.

Also, my mother was an extra on the film, and was seated with him at lunch one day. She said he was delightful. So was the lunch.

From: Defamer
Date: Tue, Feb 17, 2015 at 6:44 PM
Subject: Re: spacey

Interesting. You ever hear about what he did with the boys?

From: [Redacted]
Date: Tue, Feb 17, 2015 at 9:31 PM
Subject: Re: spacey

Nope. Apparently it was all very discreet—anything that happened was behind closed doors. The boys (and girls) were all very young. Mostly students from the Savannah College of Art and Design.

4. Harvard (via email)

From: [Redacted]
Date: Wed, Feb 18, 2015 at 4:36 PM
Subject: Spacey: Harvard Edition

This was back in 1998/1999. A friend of mine was an undergrad at Harvard and Kevin Spacey was on campus for an event of some sort. She was out at a bar with her gay friend afterwards and Spacey sidled up to the guy. He (reportedly) asked the guy if he was down for a blow job. He fit Spacey's profile: a twink in his early twenties. My friend said he was very forward and didn’t waste too much time with small talk. She said something about him creeped them both out and they hustled out of the bar.

5. The Shipping News (via email)

From: [Redacted]
Date: Thu, Feb 19, 2015 at 12:04 AM
Subject: (No Subject)

Friend worked on The Shipping News and described how they had to hush up a car accident that happened when Spacey hit on a local guy that was giving him a ride home. Apparently Spacey has a thing for straight guys. I met Spacey on the set and he was a real nasty piece of work. I remember Judy Dench in particular thinking he was a dick.

6. Underling (via Ad infinitum)

I have a friend who used to work for one of the big studios, and she had the misfortune to work on a Spacey film once. He repeatedly propositioned one of the PAs so relentlessly that they actually had to reassign the kid to another project, and then Spacey just started in on someone else. She said they eventually just made sure any “underling” position that came into contact with Spacey was staffed by a woman or an older guy—he just basically assumed he was entitled to young, decent-looking guy he had any power over on the set, straight or gay.

Responses on Defamer:

Gemtastica:

My friend who works in film told me literally the exact same story just a couple of weeks ago—I wonder if it was the same film/PA or if its happened multiple times.

Ad infinitum:

Interesting! My story (or my friend’s story, rather) is from more than a decade ago—it’s been long enough that I don't remember the exact year, but I’m guessing 2002 or 2003. From the way she described his behavior, though, it wouldn't surprise me at all if that's just his MO—she said he was completely lecherous and predatory from the moment he walked on set. I should add that my friend worked for the studio for years, and worked with a lot of A-listers, and she generally wasn’t one to tell tales out of school, as much as I’d have liked her to. She was just incredibly disgusted with Spacey’s entitlement and complete lack of professionalism when it came to people he thought himself above.

7. New York City (via PucaTim)

About 5 years ago I was in NYC and I was trying to track down a friend who was also in town. I sent him a text asking where he was and he replied with the bar name, and added “Kevin Spacey is here and he has his hand on my thigh.”

Years later I had a boss who used to produce movies and was friends with Spacey. I told him the story and my boss laughed and gave a description of what he thought my friend probably looked like. It was pretty accurate. Apparently Kevin has a type. [When asked to describe Spacey’s type, the author of this item responded: “Tall, tan, dark curly hair, athletic.”]

8. Washington, D.C. (via email)

From: [Redacted]
Date: Tue, Feb 17, 2015 at 7:12 PM
Subject: Spacey story

This isn’t mine, but a friends:

My friend is a manager at a new-ish, really trendy restaurant on the 14th St corridor in DC. He said K-Space has been in several times for dinner (I assume he spends time down here for House of Cards) and said he is pretty flamboyantly gay when he is just being his big ole gay self. My friend also claims that his (male) friend and K-Space bang on the regular, and Spacey cut him a $10,000 check. My friend did not see the actual check, but he was doubting his friend’s story so the dude pulled up his bank account balance on his phone to confirm it.

From: Defamer
Date: Tue, Feb 17, 2015 at 7:15 PM
Subject: Re: Spacey story

Very interesting. Which restaurant (if you can say)?

From: [Redacted]
Date: Tue, Feb 17, 2015 at 7:17 PM
Subject: Re: Spacey story

My friend was a manager at Le Diplomate (I don’t mind saying because he doesn’t work there anymore). Don’t wanna say which restaurant the other guy involved works at because I don’t know him—but I will say it’s in Dupont Circle and is very gay-centric, in terms of staff and clientele. I mean obviously, it’s in Dupont.

9. Private Party (Via LTomTom)

My mom’s ex-boyfriend was sitting at a hotel bar in Manhattan and Spacey started chatting him up. My mom's ex said that after only about 20 mins Spacey began rubbing his knee (while engaging in completely benign conversation) before inviting him to a “private party.” Not sure what he meant by “private party” but my mom’s ex politely declined.

10. Hollywood Athletic (via email)

From: [Redacted]
Date: Wed, Feb 18, 2015 at 4:24 PM
Subject: Kevin Spacey is Gay - My Story

I know for a fact that Kevin Spacey is gay. I was a bouncer at the Hollywood Athletic Club, which is basically a huge facility off Sunset that hosts several different clubs at once. Kevin was one of the Exec. Producers for a film having a “wrap party” called “The United States of Leland.” Chris Klein and the entire cast and crew were at this party. I was at the door/red carpet entrance the entire night with the list and saw everyone who came and went.

Sometime during the evening a young 19 year old came to my rope line, he wanted in, I said no of course, he was underage. Then he asked for CeCe, the girl who organized the event. I called inside, she came down, he told her who he was, she then looked at me and said that the kid was a personal guest of Kevin Spacey, but I’m not sure. After some arguing between CeCe and myself, I finally let the kid in.

Then about 20 min later Kevin Spacey comes out, with the kid in tow, goes to the back of the parking lot to which the club door spilled out on, to a green mustang rag top. They both get in, Kevin sat in the passenger seat and the kid got in the driver seat. After about 5 minutes, I saw the kid lean over head first into the passenger seat. I knew something dirty was going down so I walked away from the door/rope area because the parking lot and outside were completely dead at this point, everyone was inside. As I got closer I could see, even with the windows partially steamed up, the kids head going up and down in Kevin’s lap and his head back on the seat rest and his eyes closed. Dude was legit getting a BJ from a 19 year old kid. This was around ’03-’04, time frame. I had a camera phone on me at that time and could’ve taken a pic and sold it for a nice stack of cash, but I’m just not that kind of guy really. So, I didn’t. I just walked back to the door and chalked it up as another one of my really interesting Hollywood stories. So, yeah. Kevin Spacey is gay or bi? But I’ve NEVER seen him out in LA with a woman, and I used to spot him at local spot off of Franklin & Bronson in Hollywood quite a bit. So Kevin needs to stop bullshittin’ and just come out of the closet.

11. House of Cards — 1 (via email)

(Ed. note: From original post)

From: [Redacted]
Date: Tue, Feb 17, 2015 at 2:38 PM
Subject: Kevin Spacey

Another to add to the list—my friend’s uncle works on the production team of House of Cards in D.C., and told my friend recently that Spacey regularly solicits the young (early 20s), male crew members for sex in his trailer. Specifically, the uncle explained to my friend that Spacey “demands” it...whatever that means.

12. House of Cards — 2 (via email)

From: [Redacted]
Date: Wed, Feb 18, 2015 at 4:40 PM
Subject: Kevin Spacey story

I can back up the "House of Cards" story. A good buddy of mine also works on the production team and has told me several stories about Spacey harassing the male PAs on set, pretending to blow the boom microphone, etc. He also likes to smoke a ton of pot with David Fincher.

Please keep this anonymous, thanks.

From: Defamer
Date: Wed, Feb 18, 2015 at 4:53 PM
Subject: Re: Kevin Spacey story

Interesting. Any specific details about those stories?

From: [Redacted]
Date: Wed, Feb 18, 2015 at 4:58 PM
Subject: Re: Kevin Spacey story

One P.A. was repeatedly harassed to go on a weekend trip on Spacey’s boat. After he refused the P.A. was let go. That’s the one that sticks out, but my friend loves to talk about how much of a creep that Spacey is.

13. House of Cards — 3 (via email)

From: [Redacted]
Date: Tue, Feb 17, 2015 at 6:48 PM
Subject: Kevin Spacey

Hey,

I’m a little conflicted about gossiping about his sexuality but I do have some first hand experience so here goes… Spacey has spent a lot of time in Baltimore filming House of Cards and I got to meet him at an event in Annapolis.

Firstly, he was super nice and friendly. He was there to get votes (for more tax credits) so his job that night was to schmooze everyone, but he took the time to have a legit conversation with literally every person in the packed bar. I mean even the little interns such as myself. However, I will say that he spent the most time talking to a handsome young student who was enrolled in a local private high school ( I eavesdropped hard for this). The boy’s mom was also there so nothing too flirty, but Spacey was obviously into the kid, talking to him about his Latin studies, lacrosse practices, theatre, etc. etc. I mean the kid was hot….

Anyway, I also know the owners of a local bar that was used for the filming of HOC and the owner's son is a lax bro at a nearby college…I've heard Spacey was VERY flirty with that kid. Considering these stories together, it seems that if Spacey is gay (and, honestly, who the hell cares anyway? You do Oscar-winning you, Spacey!) he definitely has a type. Go Maryland lacrosse!

Email or gchat the author: trotter@gawker.com · PGP key + fingerprint · Photo by Getty

In Chapter 10 of his 2012 book Atheism and the Case Against Christ, Matthew S. McCormick provides a list of "gods and religions in history that have fallen out of favor." Between the Chinese deities Jade Emperor and Ji Gong on this list sits Jar'Edo Wens, an exotic-looking nonsense phrase some Australian guy added to Wikipedia seven years prior.

The blog Wikipediocracy recounts the genesis of a wholly fictional Aboriginal deity, created by an anonymous Australian prankster—presumably named Jared Owens, get it?—who published a Wikipedia article for Jar'Edo Wens and added an entry about the god to the site's page on Australian Aboriginal mythology in 2005. Thanks to Wikipedia's immense and often indiscriminate ability to disseminate facts and factoids alike, Jar'Edo has spread its gospel of humility and learning to the furthest reaches of the internet in the years since then.

The brief Jar'Edo article read:

In Australian Aboriginal mythology, Jar'Edo Wens is a god of earthly knowledge and physical might, created by Altjira to oversee that the people did not get too big-headed, associated with victory and intelligence.

(A person working from the same anonymous IP address also attempted to add a god called "Yohrmum" to the list, in case there's any doubt that Jar'Edo was a work of fiction.)

According to Wikipediocracy, Jare'Edo Wens is the longest-running hoax in Wikipedia history; its article sat on the site for nine years before it was recognized as fiction in November 2014 and finally deleted earlier this month. But by then, the internet had already accepted Jar'Edo as real.

In addition to Atheism and the Case Against Christ author McCormick—a professor of philosophy at Sacramento State—Jar'Edo managed to dupe the editors of several non-English Wikipedias, many of which still list him alongside legitimate Aboriginal gods. (Here's Jar'Edo on the Russian, Polish, French, and Turkish sites.) Wikipediocracy also notes a 2013 sci-fi novel called The Captain's Propensity: The Andromeda Incident II with a character named Jar'Edo Wens, though "whether that's a coincidence, a knowing wink, or an attempt to reuse the name of a genuine Aboriginal mythological figure for dramatic purpose is an open question."

It doesn't stop there: Jar'Edo also turns up in online dictionaries, spammy-looking sites about religion, rhetorically-challenged debates in the comments sections of news articles, Yahoo! Answers threads, and, of course, vaguely "spiritual" Tumblrs.

Someone on DeviantArt seems to have earnestly carved a sculpture out of an avocado pit in Jar'Edo's honor, seen in the photo above. Translated from French, the artisan's caption reads: "Jar'Edo Wens - spirit of the earthly knowledge." Incredibly, our spirit of earthly knowledge also makes a brief but crucial cameo in this piece of Sailor Moon fan fiction.

Who is the mysterious man behind the deity? Googling "Jar'Edo Wens" reveals a number of posts on RuneScape-related websites under the name, an artifact from a text-based role-playing game, and the forums of the online gaming site Newgrounds. In hopes of getting an answer, I've sent a message to every Australian named Jared Owens on Facebook.

Update: Matthew S. McCormick offered the following comment.

Well, my point in using that list of gods is that they are all fictional creations, in one way or another, so this doesn't create a problem for my book really. Religions, and other sources disseminate false information, I argued, and the ideas take a life of their own in history. Wikipedia obviously has its limitations too. Thanks.

[Image via NOOyox/DeviantArt]

Contact the author at andy@gawker.com.

Hopes & Fears has a fun look at possession of a gram of weed in places from New York City to Hong Kong, and the punishments that come with getting caught with that weed on you. Worth a read if you're thinking of buying drugs somewhere in the world.

This week, Kristin Cavallari's already fraught relationship with science deteriorated faster than her friendship with Stacy the Bartender on The Hills. Science is shady, dude. Do you even know what science has been up to behind Kristin's back?

Science, Kristin will tell you, is ruining her latte. In a post on her eponymous app, Kristin reveals that "genetically modified coffee could be just around the corner," per an article in The Washington Post. Here's what Kristin has to say about that:

come on, now coffee too?? This makes me want to scream. Why can't science stay away from our food? Pretty soon everything we eat will be made in a science lab.

Science won't stay away. Science is coming at Kristin like FUCKING PIRANHAS. Pretty soon everything we eat will be made in a science lab. Pretty soon we'll all be in the Matrix.

Before you ask: Kristin would not like to meet science for coffee to talk it out. Science just talks nonsense to Kristin, anyway.

This has been 500 Days of Kristin.

[Photo via Getty]

Cameron Dallas is a 20-year-old set of abdominal muscles and one of the 10 most popular people on Vine. (He is also a close friend of Nash Grier, an even more famous Viner.) Dallas was reportedly arrested for vandalism Wednesday after allegedly throwing paint all over his Hollywood apartment and the adjacent hallway.

Officers arrived in the afternoon after reports of a loud party, but didn't hear any noise coming from the apartment, and left. They finally noticed something was up that evening when Dallas, who frequently vines himself throwing stuff off his sixth-floor balcony, allegedly chucked a can of paint that almost hit a woman walking below, TMZ reported:

"Cops arrived and discovered the entire apartment, along with everyone inside it, spattered with paint. Someone also hurled hue in the hallway."

Dallas was released at 1:30 a.m. Thursday on $20,000 bail, and claimed on Twitter that he did it for the Vine:

(: lets just say this video will be awesome... @jccaylen @KianLawley #20DaysOfDallas #TheyDidntTellMeMyRightsThough?

— #20DaysOfDallas (@camerondallas) March 19, 2015

In a broadcast on the YouNow account of his buddy Bryant Eslava, a shirtless (as usual) Dallas ramblingly told his side of the story:

"I got arrested for paint!—my hair is so long, dude," he began, "So we filmed a video for Kian [Lawley]'s channel, and it involved paint. We were playing a game with paint. We were like, covered in paint. Paint, all over, covered. Kian's face looked like he was mining a coal."

"All of a sudden we hear a [makes knocking sound]. It's the police. So we open the door, and the cop goes 'you need to step outside.'"

Dallas claims the officer told him and his friends that they were being detained as part of an investigation for battery, for allegedly throwing the paint that almost hit the woman, which Dallas says they didn't actually do.

Dallas says he and a friend who was filming the encounter were handcuffed and taken to the precinct, where they sat for six hours before anyone talked to him—and that their other paint-covered friends were arrested when they arrived to bail them out.

"We didn't get charged for battery, because no one threw anything and no one got hurt," he said, adding that paint only got on the hallway wall when because cops pushed the paint-covered dudes up against.

"I saw the thing on TMZ—no one threw a paint can. No one got hurt." he said.

Dallas's theory is that the officers were upset because he initially refused to let them into his apartment. He says the paint covering his apartment is washable, and he was going to clean it up anyway.

[h/t Gossip Cop, Photo: Bryant Teslava/YouNow]

Beaches are a relaxing place to spend a family trip or just enjoy a raging, booze-fueled spring break. While a trip to the ocean can be packed with fun, it can also be dangerous. Aside from sunburns and jellyfish, one of the most dangerous things you have to look out for is a silent, sloshing killer: rip currents.

Most people die from things that are beyond their direct control, such as cancer or heart attacks. Sure, some cases of cancer or fatal heart issues can be prevented with long-term changes in behavior, but there's rarely a specific cigarette or steak that sealed your fate. On the other hand, some deaths occur as a direct result of someone's actions, like a missed rung on the ladder, failing to look both ways before turning left, or showing your friends that cool trick you can do with your new pistol.

Dying in a rip current is one of those deaths that is completely avoidable. Nobody should die in a rip current, especially not in an age where we're constantly online and the National Weather Service (and every local news station and reputable weather outlet) advertises days where there's an elevated risk for rip currents. Between 2004 and 2013, nearly 50 people drowned every year as a result of rip currents—over the same period, that's more than the average number of people who die from lightning strikes! If all but a few dozen of us can get along fine without getting electrocuted by the sky, people should have no issue keeping themselves safe from getting kidnapped by Poseidon.

A rip current is a strong jet of water that quickly flows away from shore. Swimmers who are caught in rip currents can get sucked away from safety at speeds of nearly ten feet per second—far too fast for you to try swimming back to the beach. Fortunately, meteorologists can predict conditions favorable to the formation of rip currents, and swimmers almost always have ample warning that rip currents are possible or occurring.

On a normal day, waves crash against the shore at an angle, allowing water to come in and flow back out with little more than a tug at your feet. Larger waves can knock you over and create a bigger tug back out to sea, but it's easy for most people to overcome the normal push and pull of the water.

It's when the waves crash perpendicular to the beach that we start running into problems.

As shown above in one of The Vane's famous poorly-drawn diagrams, a horizontal circulation forms in the water when waves crash perpendicular to the shore. Some water flows back to sea underneath the waves, but a good bit of it will start traveling parallel to the beach in a "longshore current." When waves crash along the beach at an angle, the longshore current flows in the same direction, but when they break perpendicular to the shore, it creates a longshore current that goes both left and right of the wave. A strong offshore current will develop when two longshore currents collide with each other, and water in these colliding currents will rush back out to sea as a rip current.

These dangerous currents are most common when it's windy, but hurricanes that are hundreds (if not thousands of miles) away can kick up waves that create dangerous rip currents even when the weather is calm and sunny on the beach.

There are several ways you can identify the risk for rip currents before you get in the water.

The first, obviously, is to listen to the lifeguards or weather forecasts when they tell you not to go in the water because the risk for rip currents is too high. People drown trying to save other people from rip currents, so don't risk someone else's life because you're too stupid or rebellious to follow instructions.

Beaches across the United States will raise flags on the beach letting visitors know what conditions are like that day. A yellow flag means "medium hazard," or "moderate surf/rip currents," and a red flag means "high hazard." Two red flags means that the water is closed because high surf or strong rip currents are too dangerous for swimmers.

Rip currents also provide visual cues for you to identify potential hazard zones before getting in the water.

• One of the best visual identifiers of a rip current is to look out for gaps between the waves. The calmer gap between waves may look safer for you to play without worry about waves washing over your head or overtaking little Timmy, but a small patch of calm water in an otherwise choppy sea is often a rip current. One of these gaps is pictured above—the rip current is in between the two red arrows. NOAA has dozens of photos of rip currents on their page dedicated to the phenomenon.
• Look out for discolored water near the shore. Rip currents tend to drag large amounts of sand and sediment back out to sea with them, so many rip currents are easily identified by a noticeable jet of crud in the water extending away from the shore.
• Rip currents are also common in areas with sand bars (both surface and submerged), piers, jetties, groins, and anything else that sticks out from the beach that could catch a longshore current and cause it to start flowing away from shore.

Now, rip currents don't pull you under the water like so many television shows use as a plot device; instead, they pull you away from shore very quickly. If you're ever caught in one, don't panic. You'll start drifting away from the shore and your first instinct will be to panic and try to swim back as quickly as possible. Even the best swimmers can't swim against a rip current—since you can't fight the power of the water, you have to be smarter than the water.

If you're a good swimmer and you find yourself getting pulled out to sea, you have to swim parallel to the beach so you can get out of the current. Once you escape the influence of the outbound water, you can start swimming back towards shore. If you're not able to swim out of the current, signal for help by waving (not flailing) your arms and calling out for help while you try to stay afloat. The current will eventually let up and you'll stop driving away from shore; by that point, it's a matter of being able to stay afloat long enough for help to arrive.

As much as people don't want to hear it, getting caught in a rip current is your fault if you ignore warnings and don't know what to look out for. Don't drown (or risk the lives of those who have to save you) because you're determined to go swimming even though it isn't safe to do so. Thinking "it won't happen to me" is the best way to make sure it happens to you.

[Images: AP, Google Earth (annotations by the author) x2, NOAA x2]

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After Kendall Jenner took to Twitter to deny speaking with Us Weekly about her father's transition, the magazine has issued a retraction of its alleged "silence-breaking" interview.

In a note published on the magazine's website today, Us Weekly claims the alleged interview was "conducted by an independent freelance journalist" and, though the reporter does not deny the interview took place, they have not been able to confirm his account:

When Ms. Jenner denied, via Twitter, that the interview took place, Us Weekly immediately reached out to the freelance reporter. He stood by the interview, and continues to maintain that the quotes are accurate. However, after attempting to reconfirm his account, editors of Us have concerns about the veracity of this interview and the circumstances under which it was obtained.

Us Weekly has retracted the story and removed it completely from its website. The retraction notice ends, "We sincerely apologize to Ms. Jenner and her family."

Here's hoping the Kardashians accept Us Weekly's apology, so each entity may continue to live.

[image via Getty]

Contact the author at kelly.conaboy@gawker.com.