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Y'all Are Lazy

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Y'all Are Lazy

Are you one of a subset of 83 million Americans? You’re lazy, man.

I’m not trying to be unreasonable.

I’m not saying you have to be some mountain climber. I’m not saying you have to be some endurance racer. But damn, man. You’re really just lazy. I have to come out and say it. Lazy ass. Go walk around the block, man.

“Roughly 83 million Americans age 6 and over, or about 28% of the population, reported that they did not once participate in any of 104 specific physical activities in the last calendar year, according to annual survey results by the Physical Activity Council released Wednesday.”

Man. Look. I’m not talking about you becoming some muscle man. I’m not saying you have to go swim the English Channel, over here. But not one physical activity in the past year? Not one? Do you want to know what some of those 104 specific physical activities are? I’ll tell you.

Backpacking Overnight – More Than 1/4 Mile From Vehicle/Home
Bowling
Elliptical Motion Trainer
Pickleball
Sledding/Saucer Riding/Snow Tubing
Softball (Slow-Pitch)
Walking for Fitness

You didn’t do any of these? Not a single time? All year? Not one? Not pickleball? Not walking around? Not the elliptical? Not at all? Ever?

Not just the chronically sick people and the paralyzed blind people and the agoraphobic. Eighty three million of you.

That’s lazy.

[You are lazier than all the people in this picture: Flickr]


Who Is The Amazing Slut?

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Who Is The Amazing Slut?

Late last year, I deleted my Twitter account after deciding that it did not work well with my high-strung and overly anxious personality. Also, the service was basically a stream of toxic refuse. No shade to anyone who uses it (everyone), I just found I was using it too much and that I’d fallen down the rabbit hole of cliquey-microconcerns one too many times to make it worth it.

But do not worry, this is not a thinkpiece about deleting Twitter, or how deleting Twitter has made me a better person and/or writer (it hasn’t—my life is, because of me being me, still Hell). No, this is a tale of vengeance and exposure and retribution against my latest enemy, the Amazing Slut.

Every so often, as if I were to smoke one cigarette a month to prove that I beat my smoking habit, I check Twitter. “No, I still don’t care about this,” I say, gratified and smug. “Same old bullshit. Blah blah blah.”

This month? It was not the same bullshit after all.

It turns out that the Twitter account previously associated with my name, @hidayna, has been taken over by someone—or something—who goes by the name Amazing Slut. The very first result when you search “dayna evans twitter” is the Amazing Slut page. Should you click on the Amazing Slut page, you will find this (NSFW if you scroll down, but you probably already have so I’m sorry):

Who Is The Amazing Slut?

Amazing Slut is “your most beloved adult celeb.” Amazing Slut has not yet tweeted. If I don’t want to miss any updates from Amazing Slut, all I have to do is sign up on Twitter with my former Twitter name, which is impossible because Amazing Slut has taken it. If I want to know what Amazing Slut is up to, I have to manually check in with her whenever it occurs to me to do so.

An extremely unreliable source (former Valleywag editor Sam Biddle) explained to me that when Twitter accounts with a semi-substantial number of followers get deleted, eagerly-waiting bots scoop up the discarded handles as a way to promote their pursuits. I could take a guess as to what Amazing Slut is promoting, but I won’t know for sure until she tweets. Without doing anything but ostensibly preying on my forgotten handle—a piece of slimy, useless trash I didn’t even want anymore—a new enemy in my life has emerged. An amazing slut. An amazing slut with nothing to say who is trying to co-opt my identity. Amazing slut though I might be, this amazing slut I is not.

After some additional research, I learned that my Amazing Slut is not just slut in nickname, but in practice. Her G-stringed ass is plastered all over dozens more forgotten Twitter accounts, with even better and more exciting names. Dazzling Vixon, Erotic Ass, Striking Amateur—my Amazing Slut is spreading her presence far and wide, taking over @ClaireSeed’s dead account, as well as @PUSSAYGALORE’s. Amazing Slut—if that is your real name—you have revealed yourself to be loyal to no one. An individual with her own needs in mind, to say the least.

Who Is The Amazing Slut?

I found pages and pages of my Amazing Slut brazenly jutting her bum cheeks into the air for the world to see. Your most beloved adult celeb is not just adored by one, but by many. Her utility, and the utility of the rest of her bare-bummed avatars, is to promote porn. She is a well-oiled internet robot whose skill I cannot even begin to understand. Suddenly, seeing the Amazing Slut’s goods being offered on other defunct Twitter pages brought me closer to the other many abandoners in the world. There we all are: being owned in perpetuity by a savvy and sexy robot because we were too stupid or too twitchy or too unable to maintain self-control over use of a dumb app, the sole purpose of which is to share our meaningless thoughts and promote ourselves. We deserve this fate. We are the lost ones.

The funny thing is, the Amazing Slut—despite my never having given her a thing, never having shown her even a glimpse of my own buttcheek or a shade of my left nipple—has, in turn, bestowed upon me the greatest gift I could ever get out of leaving Twitter. In all their self-gratifying glory, when my fiercest enemies, trolls, and other shitbreathers prepare themselves to search for me on Twitter, in order to give me a piece of their mind in 140-character bursts of anger, they must first search “dayna evans twitter” on Google.

And instead of me, the real, breathing Dayna Evans they are looking for, they will only find her: the faceless ass of the Amazing Slut. Isn’t she great?


Contact the author at dayna.evans@gawker.com.

Screenshot via Amazing Slut

Lost YouTube: 7 Videos From the Internet's Weirdest, Darkest Depths

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YouTube is, for the most part, the place where everything Right and Good goes to die. But move those lifeless cat and listicle corpses aside, and you’ll find a dark, fascinating world that’s all too easy to get lost in for hours. So instead of losing part of your own life to YouTube’s depths, we’ve brought the underbelly to you.

Here are seven of YouTube’s all too under-viewed gems—each as mesmerizingly bizarre as the next.


Treadmill Diaries - Talking Giggerish to Myself

Season 1, Episode 12 - May 31, 2012I don’t even hear Treadmill Jones voice anymore. I am loving the Run. I am loving the steps.4 miles in 60 minutes. I kicked it at the end and I am thankful to my right calf muscle for holding up. Went 40 minutes pure running. Stamina is building, could have gone at a higher pace, but still I worry about my calf muscle. All good. Getting ready for the run on Saturday! I will buy a heart monitor/ pacer today and have a nice dinner with grandma, wife and kids at Fat Greeks or whatever it is called. :)


O Youth! (1994, English Subtitles)

“O Youth!” is a rare attempt at comedy from the DPRK. More specifically, romantic comedy. The film is about a family with 6 siblings, five of which are young sportswomen. The sixth is a 30 year old man, who is consumed with his studies and has not yet married. His mother wants him to marry an effeminate girl, because sportswomen do not serve the nation properly. His father and sisters want him to marry a sportswoman. The son falls in love with a woman who initially appears to be an embroiderer, but is, in fact, a Tae-kwon-do instructor.


educational videos channel for kids and children

Hello friends we are providing you new educational channel. We have already uploaded our some videos like alphabets, parts of body, fruits and vegetables name, basic shapes and colors etc. these all are animated and very colorful. we are committed you provide some more educational videos time by time. so, please connect with us by subscribe our channel.


Psychos in the Pseventies

Teenage punks of the 1970s out of control. Yes, M-16s were legal back then. Some claim that we were victims of our environments; we know it’s genetic! Bonus footage: An historical trip up France Avenue that starts at the Mann Drive-in and ends near Southdale, circa winter 1977. Watch out for the ‘73 Ford!


The sound of bodies hitting the floor

A mash up of Let The Bodies Hit the Floor and Sound of Music.


UNIPORN

No description provided; none really needed.

Every Starbucks in the US Is Giving Away Free Coffee Right Now [Updated]

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Every Starbucks in the US Is Giving Away Free Coffee Right Now [Updated]

According to Twitter, Starbucks stores across the country are all having a major computer system failure right now—and they’re giving away all the drinks for free.

As far as we can tell, the incredible bug is affecting Starbucks registers all across the nation, so you might as well go and get as much caffeine as you can before their point-of-sale systems inevitably get fixed. Let us know if you run into any trouble, and we’ll update if and when the good luck runs out. But for now, consider it karma. [Digg]

Update 9:15 pm: It sounds like a few stores are (understandably) shutting down in the wake of the caffeinated massacre. One reader sent us the following photo of a Starbucks in League City, TX:

Every Starbucks in the US Is Giving Away Free Coffee Right Now [Updated]

Quite a few stores are apparently still giving out free goods, though, so you’re not out of luck just yet. And to echo what a few of you have already said: Please do tip the poor, broken souls behind those dead registers. God knows they’ve been having a hell of a night.

Image via Getty


Contact the author at ashley@gawker.com.

Bruce Jenner: "I Consider Myself a Woman"

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Bruce Jenner came out as a woman Friday night, confirming months of speculation about her gender identity.

Jenner sat down with Diane Sawyer for the two-hour special—the first time Jenner has discussed the topic publicly.

“So Bruce Jenner is?” Sawyer finally asks.

The answer, of course, is complicated but Jenner puts it thusly:

God’s looking down, making little Bruce. He’s looking down and he says, “Okay, what are we going to do with this one?” Make him a smart kid, very determined, and he gave me all these wonderful qualities. And then at the end when he’s just finishing, he goes, “Wait a second, we gotta give him something. Everybody has stuff in their life that they have to deal with, what are we going to give him?” And God looks down and chuckles a bit and goes, “Hey let’s give him the soul of a female and let’s see how he deals with that.”

So here I am stuck, and I hate that word a girl stuck in a guy’s body. I hate that terminology. I’m me. I’m me. I’m a person. This is who I am. I’m not stuck in anybody’s body, it’s just who I am as a human being. My brain is much more female than it is male. It’s hard for people to understand that but that’s what my soul is.

I look at it this way. Bruce always telling a lie. He’s lived a lie his whole life about who he is. And I can’t do that any longer.

Jenner tells Sawyer it was hard to say out loud, largely because “I don’t want to disappoint anyone.”

During the broadcast, Jenner says she considered suicide but ultimately thought, “I can’t do this. I have to see how this story ends.”

The two-hour interview also delves deeper into Jenner’s childhood, past relationships and sexual identity—Jenner tells Sawyer she’s always felt this way, had always been interested in women and had a good sexual relationship with Kris Jenner before their divorce last year.

More Than 1,400 People Killed in 7.9 Magnitude Earthquake in Nepal 

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More Than 1,400 People Killed in 7.9 Magnitude Earthquake in Nepal 

An earthquake with an epicenter about 50 miles outside of the Nepali capital of Kathmandu killed at least 1,400 people Saturday, leveling city structures, and leaving hundreds more trapped in collapsed buildings.

Representatives for Nepal’s Home Ministry told the New York Times they expect the death toll to rise, with a majority of causalities concentrated in the valleys surrounding Kathmandu. The area has experienced at least 15 aftershocks of magnitude 4.5 or stronger, the U.S. Geological Survey confirmed to CNN. Two climbers were also report killed in an avalanche triggered by the earthquake on Mount Everest and at least 35 people have died in India, the BBC reports.

The chaotic scene in Kathmandu Saturday from the Times:

Residents of Katmandu ran into the streets and other open spaces as buildings fell, throwing up clouds of dust, and wide cracks opened on paved streets and the walls of city buildings. Overflowing hospitals were treating injured patients on the street, and Nepal’s leading television station, its studios crushed, was broadcasting from the pavement outside.

Hundreds are also feared to be trapped in the rubble of the historic, nine-story Dharahara Tower in Kathmandu, which collapsed in the quake. Kanak Mani Dixit, a Nepali political commentator, told the Times that more than 200 people had purchased tickets to climb the tower Saturday, and “several dozens” were likely standing on its platform when the earthquake hit.

Update, 1:00 p.m. – The Guardian reports that Nepalese Deputy Prime Minister Bamdev Gautam has declared a state of emergency, appealing for humanitarian assistance.

At least 10 climbers on Mount Everest were killed in an avalanche triggered by the earthquake, the Associated Press reports. An unknown number of people are still missing.

Thirty-six people have been reported dead in India, 12 in China, six in Tibet and four in Bangladesh.


Image via AP. Contact the author at aleksander@gawker.com .

Brian Williams' Web of Lies May Stretch Even Further Than We Thought

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Brian Williams' Web of Lies May Stretch Even Further Than We Thought

An internal NBC News investigation into the dissembler Brian Williams has identified a half-dozen cases in which the anchor is believed to have misrepresented his account of events, including at least one previously unreported episode involving Cairo’s Tahrir Square, the New York Times reports.http://tktk.gawker.com/how-can-brian-...

Two people with inside knowledge of the investigation told the Times that the incidents being reviewed included Williams’ lies about being under fire in Iraq in 2003; lies about another missile attack Williams claimed took place while he was flying over northern Israel in 2006; and lies about a Navy SEAL giving him a piece of the helicopter that crashed during the mission to kill Osama bin Laden in 2011.

According to the Times, the previously unreported aspect of the investigation revolves around Williams’ correspondence from Tahrir Square during the Arab Spring. It’s not clear exactly the investigation is looking into, but “discrepancies are evident,” the Times reports:

In an appearance... with Jon Stewart on “The Daily Show,” Mr. Williams described his reporting from the square. Speaking of clashes between protesters seeking the overthrow of the Egyptian government, and a pro-government group on horses and camels, he said he had “actually made eye contact with the man on the lead horse.” Mr. Stewart then referred to reports that the pro-government group had used whips. “Yeah,” Mr. Williams replied, “he went around the corner after I saw him, they pulled out whips and started beating human beings on the way.”

The NBC News report on the clash between the protesters that day did not show Mr. Williams in Tahrir Square during the protest. Subsequent reports said that Mr. Williams was reporting “from a balcony overlooking Tahrir Square,” rather than from inside the square itself, a description that matches footage that was broadcast, and that he repeated in an interview with The New York Times last year.

Williams was suspended for six months without pay in February.

Update, 12:50 p.m. – According to the Washington Post, the NBC News investigation has uncovered a total of at least 11 instances in which Williams embellished upon his reporting.


Photo credit: AP Images. Contact the author of this post: brendan.oconnor@gawker.com.

Commissioner: Cops Failed to Get Freddie Gray Help "Multiple Times"

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Commissioner: Cops Failed to Get Freddie Gray Help "Multiple Times"

Given several opportunities to get medical care for Freddie Gray—the Baltimore man who died of a broken neck while in police custody this week—officers failed each time, Commissioner Anthony W. Batts admitted at a press conference Friday.

“No excuses from me. Period,” Batts told reporters yesterday afternoon. “We know our police employees failed to get him medical attention in a timely manner multiple times.”

At that same press conference, officials gave a rough outline of Gray’s final moments, spent in the back of a Baltimore police van. From CNN:

At the first stop, Gray was placed in leg irons. The driver stopped a second time “to deal with Mr. Gray and the facts of that interaction are under investigation,” [Deputy Police Commissioner Kevin] Davis said. The van stopped one more time to add a second prisoner.

Batts told reporters that at the third stop an officer saw Gray on the floor of the van, asking for a medic. The officer and the van driver picked him up and put him on the seat, the commissioner said.

When the van arrived at the Western District station, police called for an ambulance, said Davis, who is in charge of the investigation.

On Thursday, a police union attorney revealed Gray was not buckled in while being transported, as is department policy. Since 2004, BPD has twice been found responsible for paralyzing suspects with so-called “rough rides,” where officers drive erratically while carrying unbuckled but handcuffed suspects to cause them injury, The Baltimore Sun reports.

According to Batts, police are currently investigating whether Gray’s injuries were the result of a “rough ride.”

“We know he was not buckled in the transportation wagon as he should have been,” Batts said.

[Image via AP Images]


The Gawker Review Weekend Reading List [4.25.15]

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The Gawker Review Weekend Reading List [4.25.15]

What time of year is more beautiful: spring or fall? A college friend and fellow journalist posed the question on Instagram earlier this week, and I had a hard time answering at first. But, after some thought, I’d vote spring as the superior, more radiant season. Perhaps it’s the symbolism of life in bloom, or the fact that summer—without question my favorite time of the year—comes after it, and gives me something to look forward to, but spring is definitely more desirable than fall. Rejoice internet, temperatures are rising.


“PARTYNEXTDOOR Speaks About His Music For the First Time” by Felipe Delerme

At 18, Party signed a publishing deal with Warner/Chappell as a songwriter. He submitted songs to Justin Bieber and wore his hair in a perm. None of the songs were ever cut. However, a few demos from this era, alongside covers of Michael Jackson and Aaliyah, can be heard on an unauthorized internet compilation called The Jahron B. Collection. Though steeped in melody and story, most of the songs he’d written for other artists were bland, the sort of pop that anyone could sing but by which no one would feel truly represented. But one track from the collection, among the first he wrote as PARTYNEXTDOOR, provides a glimpse of the raw self-assurance he’d end up finding. Unofficially called “Daughter,” it’s a brutal letter to his unborn child, detailing a drug-fueled one-night stand that led to her conception. ‘This is a message for my daughter/ I hope you’re nothing like your mother/ This is a message from your father/ I hope you’re nothing like your mother,’ the chorus repeats. “Long story short, all those things happened,” Party says. “She just never gave birth to the child. And if she didn’t take those steps to no longer be pregnant, that’s what I would have to be saying.”

http://www.thefader.com/2015/04/21/par...

“Have You Ever Thought About Killing Someone” by Rachel Monroe

If he had known then what he knows today, thanks to more than a decade spent among the perverts and neo-Nazis and idiots and masterminds of federal prison, Mike Baker would have been able to tell exactly what Doc was the first time he set eyes on him. That’s one thing you can say about being locked up: It’s a great way to learn about human nature. But back then — San Antonio, the summer of 1997 — Baker was fresh out of Christian school, where they taught you parables and prophets — nothing actually useful, like how to spot a creep or tell when a situation was getting out of hand. If they had, maybe things would’ve turned out differently; maybe Baker wouldn’t have taken even a single step into Doc’s cluttered apartment, with its distinctive, unwashed-laundry smell. He’d have turned around and found someone else to buy him cigarettes, or just stolen the fucking cigarettes for God’s sake.

https://medium.com/matter/have-yo...

“The Man Who Broke the Music Business” by Stephen Witt

At work, Glover manufactured CDs for mass consumption. At home, he had spent more than two thousand dollars on burners and other hardware to produce them individually. His livelihood depended on continued demand for the product. But Glover had to wonder: if the MP3 could reproduce Tupac at one-eleventh the bandwidth, and if Tupac could then be distributed, free, on the Internet, what the hell was the point of a compact disk?

http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2015/...

“How To Deal When Your Widowed Parent Starts Dating Again” by Leslie Horn

So she met someone new. A man who is very much not my father, something I both know and have been told many times in recent months. People have this pervasive need to tell you that. I don’t know why. They’re right. He’s not my father. I know that. Which doesn’t mean that I haven’t yelled, “You’re not my real dad!” into the ether—you know, just to get all the awkward jokes out of my system. Joking, sometimes without regard for taste or tact, has been an important part of how I cope. In any case, my point here is that people are going to tell you things you don’t want to hear, and eventually (though maybe after some resistance), you’ll go ahead and realize them on your own. The concept of my mom dating or another man being around never sounded so bad in vague terms, ones that I never thought would actualize. Then it became a real thing.

http://adequateman.deadspin.com/how-to-deal-wh...

“Language Police” by Jamil Smith

Earlier this year, journalist Kelly Weill wondered if anyone at the New York City Police Department (NYPD) was making similar alterations. Weill searched an array of public IP address databases and located approximately 15,000 belonging to the NYPD. Weill and a partner created a computer script that allowed her to pinpoint Wikipedia edits made from computers on the NYPD network. Her investigation, which was published on the website Capital New York on March 13, revealed that significant changes to Wikipedia entries on acts of brutality by the NYPD stemmed from these addresses.

http://www.newrepublic.com/article/121295...

“Without Her” by Edwidge Danticat

I looked so much like my mother, who had come to New York from Haiti in her early 30s, that people often mistook pictures of her as a younger woman for pictures of me. Our bodies even moved the same, swaying a little bit from side to side, at a rhythm and pace that sometimes nearly had us colliding. I adored my mother and longed to collide with her, in lieu of a hug, which would have embarrassed her. My mother couldn’t easily say, “I love you,” but often during these walks her body said it. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see her watching out for me, for possible potholes or sudden dips in curbs. She would always take the street side so that she would be more vulnerable than I was to passing cars.

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/04/26/mag...

“An Intelligence Vet Explains ISIS, Yemen, and ‘the Dick Cheney of Iraq’” by William M. Arkin

Why is ISIS so successful? Simply put, they attack using simple combined arms but they hold two force multipliers: suicide bombers and a psychological force multiplier called Terror Shock Value. TSV is the projected belief (or reality) that the terror force that you are opposing will do anything to defeat you, and once defeated will do the same to your family, friends, and countrymen. TSV for ISIS is the belief that they will blow themselves up, they will capture and decapitate you and desecrate your body because they are invincible with what the Pakistanis call Jusbah E Jihad—“Blood Lust for Jihad”.

http://phasezero.gawker.com/an-intelligenc...

“Stephen Curry: The Full Circle” by David Fleming

This season in Golden State, the legend grows larger by the minute. Nearly every night since the All-Star Game — for which Curry was the top vote-getter and where he sank 13 straight shots to win the 3-point contest — he’s been expanding the lore of Jack’s hoop as well as the parameters by which we define point guard greatness. Yes, his stats are MVP-worthy: Through March 24, he ranked seventh in points (23.4 per game), sixth in assists (7.9) and third in steals (2.1). Yes, he has the fourth-highest 3-point percentage, 43.6 percent, in NBA history and has led the league in total 3s since 2012, if you’re counting. And yes, in six years, he has catapulted Golden State from perennial nonfactor to title favorite. But Curry’s evolution this season is about something more profound than shooting, stats or hardware. The point guard groomed by that historic hoop in Grottoes has become the game’s future.

http://espn.go.com/espn/feature/s...

“And You Know This Mannnnn: An Oral History of Friday” by Angel Diaz and Jason Duaine Hahn

Twenty years after its release, Friday’s impact is apparent every time the Internet generation tweets “Bye, Felicia”—a misspelling of Angela Means’ character, Felisha—or someone shouts a Smokey quote in a WorldStar video. These one-liners keep its popularity high, but it’s the film’s story about family and community, with characters who mirror people in our own lives, that has kept Friday burning on screens throughout the hood and beyond. Friday represents a coming-of-age moment for films that use life in South Central as their backdrop, and its attention to detail—the slamming of metal screen doors, the sizzle of eggs in the morning, broken-down cars with alarms—made it an authentic glimpse into family life, not just in South Central, but in neighborhoods around the country, during the ’90s.

http://www.complex.com/covers/oral-hi...

“Can You Think About Rising?” by Politico Magazine

I have spent the past year visiting a fair number of different newsrooms, mostly new media organization newsrooms. What I feel really hopeful about isn’t necessarily that in the top leadership ranks, that those newsrooms aren’t also mainly male-dominated—because they are—but I just feel that in general, those newsrooms, which are much younger than the ones that I in general spent my career in, they are so much more diverse. There are young women who are really doing quite extraordinary work in places that I wouldn’t have expected it necessarily. My hope, I guess, is that another kind of pipeline may fill up with these singularly talented, very gutsy young women, who maybe will be running the most profitable and most important news organizations of the future. That is something that has filled me with hope.

http://www.politico.com/magazine/story...

[Image via Getty]


Gawker Review of Books is a new hub for book, art, and film coverage. Find us on Twitter.

NYPD, Blind to Nature's Immanence, Detain Battery Park Coyote

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NYPD, Blind to Nature's Immanence, Detain Battery Park Coyote

In a pitiful display of man’s compulsion to impose his puny will upon nature—by which he is of course always surrounded and subsumed—the NYPD Emergency Service Unit captured a coyote on Saturday morning in Battery Park City.

Gothamist has video of the interloper looking a bit panicked as he or she bobs and weaves through Lower Manhattan.


Earlier this week, a particularly wily coyote eluded capture on the Upper West Side. It’s not clear whether the animal police apprehended this morning is the same one.


Image via Dailymotion. Contact the author of this post: brendan.oconnor@gawker.com.

Tennessee gun owners with handgun carry permits can now bring their weapons into nearly any park, pl

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Tennessee gun owners with handgun carry permits can now bring their weapons into nearly any park, playground, or sports field in the state. The controversial bill only passed after legislators agreed to remove the state Capitol building from the list of places where permit owners could be armed. Sensible, really.

Missing Sisters Survive on Girl Scout Cookies for Two Weeks

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Missing Sisters Survive on Girl Scout Cookies for Two Weeks

Snowbound in remote Michigan for 13 days, two women lived the American dream this month, surviving solely on Girl Scout Cookies and cheese puffs before being “rescued” by state police on Friday.

According to MLive, sisters Leslie Roy, 52, and Lee Marie Wright, 56, were on vacation from Nebraska and Oklahoma when their SUV became stuck in the snow and they began a second, far simpler holiday. From the Associated Press:

They had a reservation at a hotel in Mackinaw City but didn’t show up that night. Instead, they were trapped in snow on a little-used road with eight boxes of Girl Scout cookies purchased from relatives and a bag of cheese puffs, [Detective Sgt. Jeff] Marker said.

“They thought the road was plowed but it wasn’t,” he said.

There’s no cellphone service in the area. The car eventually lost power, too. Roy and Wright wore layers of clothes to stay warm as overnight temperatures fell to the 20s, and they also turned snow into water.

On Friday, their vehicle was spotted by a police helicopter and the sisters were recovered “a little weak” but in good health.

Of course, the women’s accidental vacay wasn’t all tasty snacks and trying not to freeze: they also made cool animal friends.

“They heard crunching in the woods at night,” Marker told the Associated Press. “They thought it was rescuers but no one came. Then they thought it was bears.” Fun!

[Image via Michigan State Police/WWJ-TV]

The Sexual Politics of Playing Mas in Brooklyn

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The Sexual Politics of Playing Mas in Brooklyn

With Brooklyn’s spring thaw in full effect, I’m having lots of conversations with my girlfriends about warm weather activities: like long bike rides, picnics in Prospect Park, and, unfortunately, the inevitable uptick in sexualized street harassment. Just last week, I heard myself saying, “I want to be respected in the street no matter what I’m wearing. Even if I’m out on the Parkway in my mas costume. I want respect, dammit.”

The words coming out of my own mouth sounded absurd. What I said absolutely reflected the way I felt, but it smelled and felt like a set-up for victim-blaming. It feels normal, almost natural even, to have sexual epithets yelled by men or to be followed by someone who “just wants your number, girl.” In a society that thinks any level of female sexual expression is “asking for it,” I wasn’t sure how true my demand for respect would ring.

Having grown up black in Brooklyn, going to Eastern Parkway on Labor Day was an annual ritual for me and my homegirls. Spending six hours eating roadside jerk chicken and winin’ down de road was a natural way to end the summer. We would go to the parade and blend into the crowd, wearing our flags and old jeans.

The real stars of the parade were the masqueraders, who, shimmering with body glitter, were adorned in feathered and bejeweled headpieces, shorts, and swimsuit costumes. After a while, choosing to dance in one of the gorgeous, elaborate outfits instead of a Haiti t-shirt and cutoff jeans felt like a natural progression. Some friends and family thought rocking a two-piece in broad daylight was a bold move, but for me, walking into a mas camp and putting a deposit on a costume seemed pretty ordinary.

I was 24 years old the first time I played mas. I jumped up and got on bad in my outfit. I wined to the ground. I danced with men when I wanted to and danced alone when I wanted to. In the carnival atmosphere, I was in control; I owned my body, my sexuality, and whatever I wanted to do with either. To be entirely honest, male aggression was present—but it was generally policed by bystanders, and men backed off if a boundary was crossed. The environment was far from perfect, but I felt like my will and desires were respected.

The control I enjoyed on the Parkway is explained by Maude Dikobe in her 2006 article, “Bottom in de Road: Gender and Sexuality in Calypso”:

In a party, for instance, a woman may rotate her bumsie all alone, for the sheer pleasure of doing so, or she may back up against a partner’s front (or rear) to wine together. If a man (or another woman) approaches her from behind and presses against her gyrating posterior, he or she is wining on her. This approach may or may not be welcome – and the woman may request that her suitor back off... As Twiggy (Anne Marie Parks) explicitly states, “Doh Put Your Hands on My Property.” In other words, you can’t touch this!

But when I got off the parade route, all that power to safely reject male advances vaporized. Off de road, there was a different reality: I was an object for sexual consumption.

I met up with two friends, also black twenty-something, feminine presenting women. The attention I received would have been alarming if I had been fully dressed, as they were. But there I was, getting hissed at and ruthlessly accosted in my bra top and feathered headpiece.

A young man, slobbing down on a chicken bone, straight up walked up to me and told me I looked good enough to eat. An older man I knew only professionally wouldn’t stop staring at my breasts and called me later in the week just to tell me how nice I looked in my costume. I was stared at by a number of men and followed by enough that my friends had to walk me to my destination to make sure I reached it safely.

I experienced a disconnect when trying to understand how, in a matter of minutes, I went from enjoying myself to feeling concerned for my safety. It was as if I had traveled between worlds.

Carnival is, by design, a hypersexualized space. Brooklyn’s West Indian American Day Parade is derived from Mardi Gras festivals that took place in Caribbean colonies. On the final Tuesday before Lent, a Christian season of solemn reflection and prayer, people of African descent would celebrate a night of joy with an explosion of color, loud music, brash physicality, and African imagery.

This theme of freedom drives carnival culture. In particular, freedom before a somber six weeks, but also a general freedom from colonizers and the strict sexual rule of the Catholic Church. In these types of Caribbean environments informed by freedom, sexual harassment isn’t as welcome as it is in the United States’ arguably less free street culture.

Street harassment has become a normalized part of of the way we all experience our neighborhoods. In our everyday culture in Brooklyn, the widespread objectification of women turns sidewalks into runways, petri dishes, and display cases. We become things for show and inspection.

Every spring, those of us who are frequently harassed on the streets celebrate the return of sunshine, but curse the increase in street activity. More people on the street inherently means more opportunities for unwanted advances. Forget how we might be dressed, simply being outside is reason enough to be ogled, barked at, told to smile, asked to show our breasts, followed home, or even killed.

It’s no wonder I’d felt safer grinding on strangers during the parade than I did walking down the street steps away from the parade. I’d felt respected. I’d felt like a human being.

What is it about rape culture that flipped on the objectification like a light switch when the cultural celebration was put to the side?

Of course, Caribbean carnival culture isn’t perfect: There are sexual ownership and depersonification issues that exist within it. Dikobe does a great job analyzing those concepts, and you should read her piece in its entirety here.

Instead, street harassment is such an accepted part of our existence that harassers seamlessly turn it off (or down) for cultural environments where it is less accepted, and turn it back up when they feel it is okay to do so—even if both cultures exist in the same exact public space. There is a mix of conscious and subconscious motions our men are going through when they commit these seemingly simplistic transgressions.

Which leaves me wondering: If the impulse to objectify and degrade women can be both conscious and subconscious, as people who want to transform culture and community, where do we even start?

Anthonine Pierre is the Lead Community Organizer at the Brooklyn Movement Center and a founding member of its anti-street harassment collective, No Disrespect. No Disrespect is committed to transforming the culture of intrusions, intimidation, and harassment in Central Brooklyn to one of community-building and mutual respect. You can find her tweeting at @AnthonineP.

[Illustration by Tara Jacoby]

Kris Humphries Apologizes for Bruce Jenner Diss

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Kris Humphries Apologizes for Bruce Jenner Diss

Did you see Bruce Jenner’s coming out interview last night? Kim Kardashian’s ex-husband Kris Humphries apparently did, writing this bad tweet in response: “Man, I’m glad I got out when I did. #Gottadoyou

Of course, Humphries didn’t really “get out” of the Kardashian family so much as he was forcibly expelled from it after 72 days, but the sentiment was plenty clear anyway, prompting the internet to collectively jump down his throat for being a dick.http://gawker.com/bruce-jenner-i...

However, instead of claiming his account was hacked (as is standard in these situations), the NBA participant apologized this morning and clarified that “I’m glad I got out” was actually a statement of support, presumably because Jenner doesn’t need the added burden of having Kris Humphries in his family.

#FullySupportTakeBacksies

[Image via Getty Images//h/t NY Daily News]

Police: Mother Who Sealed Newborn in Plastic Bag Charged with Murder

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Police: Mother Who Sealed Newborn in Plastic Bag Charged with Murder

A Michigan woman has been arraigned on murder and child abuse charges after giving birth at her office and putting her newborn child in a plastic bag in her desk, the Detroit Free Press reports. Kimberly Pappas, 25, told police that she had had a miscarriage, but the autopsy concluded the death was a homicide by suffocation.

Pappas gave birth in the bathroom of her workplace, Ceva Logistics, where she was a temporary-service employee, before returning to her desk, My Fox Detroit reported earlier this month. Her coworkers had heard moaning coming from the bathroom and found blood on the floor.

The woman’s coworkers called 911, MLive reports. The baby—who Pappas had put in a drawer of her desk, inside sealed plastic bag (itself inside a tote bag)—was pronounced dead shortly after being taken to the hospital.

Pappas, facing charges of felony murder, premeditated murder and first-degree child abuse, appeared in court Friday by video arraignment and was denied bond.

Defense attorney Ray Cassar told the Free Press that she has been in therapy for mental-health issues. “I don’t think she understands what’s going on,” he said.

Pappas will undergo a competency evaluation and is scheduled to return to court in June.


Image via Redford Police/MLive. Contact the author of this post: brendan.oconnor@gawker.com.


Reports: Man Shot and Killed by NYPD at East Village Halfway House

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Reports: Man Shot and Killed by NYPD at East Village Halfway House

NYPD officers shot and killed a man as they tried to arrest him Saturday afternoon at a halfway house in the East Village, the New York Post reports. Police said the man was wanted on a robbery charge.

According to the Post, detectives from the 26th Precinct, in Harlem, tried to arrest Felix David, 24, at a facility for pyschiatric patients on East 6th Street between Avenues A and B.

Witnesses reported hearing a single gunshot come from inside 538 East 6th Street. “I think there was a scuffle and then the single shot. I heard that. Other people who happened to be right there said they heard a scuffle,” one told EV Grieve.

David grabbed one of the detectives radios and hit another detective over the head, the New York Daily News reports. One of the detectives shot David in the chest, and he was taken to Beth Israel Hospital in critical condition, where he died.

The detectives were taken to Bellevue Hospital. Their injuries, the Post reports, are not considered serious.


Image via Google Maps. Contact the author of this post: brendan.oconnor@gawker.com.

Venezuelan Mango-Thrower Gets Apartment After Hitting President in Head

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Venezuelan Mango-Thrower Gets Apartment After Hitting President in Head

On Wednesday, Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro promised to fulfill the housing request of a woman who beaned him with a yellow mango, The Guardian reports. The woman had written her phone number on the fruit, which she then threw into Maduro’s passing bus, striking him on the head.

“It says: ‘If you can, call me,’” Maduro said while holding up the mango during a live television broadcast. “Marleny Olivo had a problem with her house. [Officials] called her. She was scared. She couldn’t believe it was true… I’ve approved an apartment for you, Marleny, as part of the Grand Venezuelan Housing Mission.”

CNN reports that Olivo’s unusual choice of stationery* was necessitated by circumstance.

“I didn’t have paper available at that moment,” she told El Pitazo TV. “What I had was a mango that I was about to eat because I was hungry.”

According to The Guardian, President Maduro has promised to eat the mango.

Earthquake Death Toll Passes 2,200 as Aftershocks Hit Nepal

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Earthquake Death Toll Passes 2,200 as Aftershocks Hit Nepal

An aftershock of magnitude 6.7 followed the main earthquake in Nepal yesterday, causing further damage and spreading fear amongst people already too scared to return to their homes, the New York Times reports. Thousands residents of Kathmandu slept outside as the death toll rose above 2,200.

The Home Ministry said Sunday that there are 2,263 dead and 5,800 injured so far after yesterday’s 7.9 magnitude quake, the strongest, according to Reuters, to hit Nepal since 1934.

At least 700 people were killed in the capital city, Reuters reports. Much of the countryside, however, nearer the quake’s epicenter in the Gorkha district, near Lamjung, about 50 miles northwest of Kathmandu, is still unreachable by phone: the extent of the destruction there is not clear.

World Vision, an aid group, said in a statement that many of the villages in the area near the epicenter “are literally perched on the sides of large mountain faces and are made from simple stone and rock construction. Many of these villages are only accessible by 4WD and then foot, with some villages hours and even entire days’ walks away from main roads at the best of times.”

Subhash Ghimire, editor-in-chief of the Nepalese newspaper República, told the Times that he managed to contact his father in his home village of 3,000 in the district of Gorkha. “He said not a single house is left in our village, including our own house,” Ghimire said.


Photo credit: AP Images. Contact the author of this post: brendan.oconnor@gawker.com.

Peaceful Protest Turns Chaotic as Marchers, Police Clash in Baltimore

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Peaceful Protest Turns Chaotic as Marchers, Police Clash in Baltimore

Following a day of peaceful demonstration over the death of Freddie Gray, who died of a broken neck while in police custody last weekend, 12 of an estimated 1,200 protesters were arrested in Baltimore Saturday night after a breakaway group smashed windows, damaged cars and battled with police, The New York Times reports.

Chanting “all night, all day, we’re gonna fight for Freddie Gray,” hundreds marched through the city’s streets yesterday, holding signs and blocking traffic before converging at City Hall. From there, a group of as many as 100 split off toward Camden Yards where the destruction began just before sundown.

As night fell, the number of protesters on the streets dwindled, but a “splinter group” of those that remained trashed nearby businesses, smashed parked cars and threw objects at police, injuring at least five officers, according to Time.

Condemning the actions of the destructive faction as “unacceptable” at a press conference Saturday night, Baltimore Mayor Stephanie Rawlings-Blake noted 95 percent of demonstrators were peaceful but “a small group of agitators intervened and turned what was otherwise a peaceful demonstration into a violent protest.”

At that same press conference, Freddie Gray’s twin sister Fredericka urged non-violence, saying, “My family wants to say, ‘Can y’all please, please stop the violence? Freddie Gray would not want this.’ Freddie’s father and mother do not want any violence. Violence does not get justice.”

On Friday, Police Commissioner Anthony Batts admitted that officers had failed “multiple times” to get medical attention for Gray, who died of a severed spinal cord after being arrested on Sunday. According to Batts, investigators are exploring whether Gray was injured during a so-called “rough ride,” an unofficial practice where officers drive erratically in order to harm handcuffed but unbuckled suspects.

[Image via Getty Images]

N.Y. Times Names Former CIA Counterterrorism Chief Michael D'Andrea

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N.Y. Times Names Former CIA Counterterrorism Chief Michael D'Andrea

Today, the New York Times named, against the CIA’s wishes, Michael D’Andrea, the former chief of the agency’s counterterrorism center, in a story about support in Washington for the lethal drone program. The Washington Post reported on D’Andrea’s reassignment last month without using his name, which Gawker then published.

“The C.I.A. asked that Mr. D’Andrea’s name and the names of some other top agency officials be withheld from this article,” the Times’ Mark Mazzetti and Matt Apuzzo write, “but The New York Times is publishing them because they have leadership roles in one of the government’s most significant paramilitary programs and their roles are known to foreign governments and many others.”

The story is pegged to last week’s drone strike that killed an American and an Italian being held hostage at an al Qaeda compound in Pakistan. The Times names D’Andrea as a key figure in cultivating support for the drone program—support that took the form of relatively lax oversight:

In secret meetings on Capitol Hill, Mr. D’Andrea was a forceful advocate for the drone program and won supporters among both Republicans and Democrats. Congressional staff members said that he was particularly effective in winning the support of Senator Dianne Feinstein, the California Democrat who was chairwoman of the Senate Intelligence Committee until January, when Republicans assumed control of the chamber.

Last month, D’Andrea was replaced as head of the drone program by Chris Wood, a former CIA station chief in Kabul who most recently supervised all operations in Afghanistan and Pakistan, the Times reports. After the 9/11 attacks he held leadership roles at Alec Station, “the group that led the hunt for Qaeda suspects and was central to the interrogation program.”

In 2013, the Times reports, Dianne Feinstein was asked why she was so willing to trust the CIA with the drone program even as she accused the agency of lying about its torture program. “That’s a good question, actually,” Feinstein said.


Photo credit: AP Images. Contact the author of this post: brendan.oconnor@gawker.com.

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