Sort of. The company reportedly added 15,000 jobs in the U.S. last year, outpacing their brethren-in-saturated-fat at KFC, Pizza Hut, and McDonald's, according to Greg Creed, the company's CEO. But how were they able to accomplish such an economy-saving feat? By creating and then patenting the revolutionary Doritos Locos Taco, that's how.

The neon-orange, meat-filled miracle taco, wrapped in a Nacho Cheese Dorito shell, was Taco Bell's biggest hit of 2012, with 375 million sold, or roughly one million a day.
…
"It has been the biggest launch in Taco Bell history," said Greg Creed, chief executive officer of Taco Bell, which saw same-store sales rise 8 percent in 2012.

And the health-killing, job-creating trend looks to continue, now that the restaurant has officially released another Dorito-based product, the Cool Ranch Doritos Locos Taco.

"We believe we can add 2,000 new restaurants in the next 10 years, because what we have is proprietary and exclusive. Nobody else can make a Cool Ranch Doritos taco. And that's just in the U.S.," says Creed.

Creed also reports the company's plan to go "upscale" in order to compete with "upscale" dining establishments like Chipotle is working, at least in terms of expanding sales beyond the company's typical demographic of young men.

"We've seen more women come in, and more people over 35," Creed said.

Great! But what about those horse meat rumors? Not Creed or America's problem. "It's a Europe issue," Creed told the Huffington Post.

Taco Bell is up. Obesity rates are up. Horse meat rumors are down. It's a good time to be an American.

[via ABC News]

Are you a Conservative Parent looking to send your child to a college where he or she can have at least one class free of that omnipresent liberal bias you've heard so much about? Then you're in luck! The University of Colorado, Boulder is finally getting its very own conservative professor.

The school is adding Steven Hayward, a former fellow at the Heritage Foundation, as a visiting scholar of "Conservative Thought and Policy" for one year. The made up position is, naturally, the first of its kind anywhere, and is entirely funded by donations from concerned conservative citizens like Denver banker Earl Wright.

"We want students to have a chance to understand a conservative, free-enterprise approach to public policy," Mr. Wright said. "I think it's underrepresented on the campus."

Sure. As for this Hayward, he considers himself something called a "green conservative" who thinks "environmentalism is too important to be left to environmentalists." He's written a two-volume biography of Ronald Reagan and a book called The Politically Incorrect Guide to the Presidents: From Wilson to Obama, in which assigns letter grades to presidents (he gave Barack Obama a "provisional F"). He has plans to teach classes on free-market environmentalism and constitutional law.

"I think a lot of people are watching this around the country," [Hayward] said. "Other possible donors want to see if this actually adds something serious that is missing from the intellectual spectrum of the university or does it further politicize the campus. I'm hoping it's the former."

He may change his tune once his students trick him into eating pot brownies.

[Image via AP]

Senator Rob Portman, an Ohio Republican and a top contender for the party's vice-presidential candidacy last year, has come out in support of gay marriage—after his son, Will, came out as gay. "As a congressman, and more recently as a senator, I opposed marriage for same-sex couples," Portman writes in an editorial published today in the Columbus Dispatch. "Then something happened that led me to think through my position in a much deeper way." In 2011 Will, then in his first year at Yale, told his parents that he is gay; that knowledge, Portman writes, "prompted me to consider the issue from another perspective." Deciding that the bible's "overarching themes of love and compassion" and gay couples' status as a "a potential source of renewed strength" for the conservative instution of marriage overrode his faith-based objections, Portman had a "change of heart": "I believe all of our sons and daughters ought to have the same opportunity to experience the joy and stability of marriage." Portman's reversal, unsurprisingly, does not mean he will propose a bill in the senate, or advocate the Supreme Court—marriage equality "should come about through the democratic process in the states," he writes. Rather, the senator joins a long line of Republicans whose understanding of equal rights and dignity under the law is limited more or less by the boundaries of their immediate families and social circles. While this is good news for the long-term prospects of gay rights it seems unlikely that Republicans will be willing to work productively on other issues until their progeny start coming out as poor, unemployed, uninsured, or undocumented. [Columbus Dispatch | Cleveland Plain-Dealer | CNN]

The 44-year-old lawyer who leaped from her eighth floor apartment with her 10-month-old son strapped to her body in a baby carrier, killing herself but cushioning the blow for the infant, who survived with just a bruise, left a 13-page handwritten suicide note in which she described her final act as "evil."

Cynthia Wachenheim, an attorney on leave from her job with the Manhattan Supreme Court, jumped to her death on Wednesday. Her son, Keston Bacharach, survived. Wachenheim had apparently convinced herself, based on research on the internet, that Keston suffered from cerebral palsy or some neurological disorder—brought on by two falls, for which she blamed herself. (Doctors who examined the child found nothing wrong.)

This sense of guilt, according to a Times source, was the focus of Wachenheim's suicide note:

According to a law enforcement official who has seen the note, she wrote that her infant son, Keston Bacharach, had previously taken a few tumbles, including "two shameful incidents," a fall from a Gymini play set [the Times is, throughout its article, bizarrely focused on brand names and Style Section asides, as though we might want to rush out and purchase the model of baby carrier into which Keston was strapped] onto the wood floor when she walked out of the room for five minutes, and off a bed. She blamed herself, and was convinced that those falls had led to a series of concussions and seizures that aggravated or contributed to maladies that would harm him for the rest of his life.

Her friends, family members and pediatrician did not believe her, she wrote. But she noticed changes in the baby—changes that only a mother who spends all day with her child would notice. For instance, she wrote, her son had grown sleepier and cried more frequently. She wrote that she could not bear the thought that he might suffer because she had failed to protect him. She wrote that what she was about to do was "evil."

In the note, Wachenheim "expressed deep love for her son," and wrote that she expected people to assume she had fallen victim to postpartum psychosis, a rare disorder that can lead mothers to harm themselves or their children.

[NYT]

Some people (ahem) need to wait until after their son comes out to show their support. Not Nate's dad.

In a letter that was posted this morning to Facebook by the pro-gay clothing and accessory brand FCKH8, the unidentified father writes his son an inspirational letter of acceptance after accidentally overhearing his express concerns about coming out to his family.

The letter is transcribed below (courtesy of Towleroad):

Nate,

I overheard your phone conversation with Mike last night about your plans to come out to me. The only thing I need you to plan is to bring home OJ and bread after class. We are out, like you now.

I've known you were gay since you were six, I've loved you since you were born.

- Dad

P.S. Your mom and I think you and Mike make a cute couple.

As one Facebook commenter noted, this letter is at once a blessing and a curse: "Now he needs to breakup with Mike, omg can't date someone your parents APPROVE of! Sheesh!!"

UPDATE: We got in touch with FCKH8 to learn more about this amazing letter and the people involved in it, and this is what we found out:

The photo was sent in to FCKH8 by Nate himself. FCKH8 describes Nate as "a teen...who is a fan of our on Facebook," but declined to provide additional info. In fact, an original version of the post contained the father's first name, but the family requested that it be removed as "they didn't want to 'make a big deal' of it." It nonetheless became a big deal, and FCKH8 has been inundated with media requests, which they have been passing along to the family.

More information will be posted if and when it becomes available.

FCKH8 also released this brief statement about the letter in the aftermath of its unexpected popularity:

We hope it sets a good example for father's to love their kids the way they were born. The fact that it has been shared by so many sadly means that this kind of acceptance is both too rare and deeply craved by LGBT people so used to being rejected by families.

[image via FCKH8]

When you think "The Montezuma (Iowa) Record," you think "just good journalism, as befitting the town that is home to Iowa's best competition motocross race track, Fun Valley Motocross." I'm sad, and chuckling, to tell you that you may be disappointed in the Record's latest effort, however. (Unless you are racist).

The Record did a story on salaries at the University of Iowa this week. Sounds like good public records reporting, eh? Good racist public records reporting, that is! Allow The Ames Progressive to explain, since The Montezuma Record is not online, due to the fact that it is produced by a small but racist band of livestock:

A report listing the employees at the University of Iowa who earn at least $100,000 was introduced by noting, "The relatively high numbers of employees with names from Asia and the Near East is interesting. While there are SMiths [sic] and Jones, there are eleven Ahmeds to only 30 Browns."

Later in the report, the paper astutely observed, "Hyphenated, unspellable and oriental names may get you the big bucks"

The Montezuma (IA) Record is the winner of the Pulitzer Prize in the Category of Finding People Named 'Ahmed' in Iowa, 1917-2012.

[Ames Progressive via Romenesko. Photo: Corinna Makris/ Flickr]

The 16-year-old girl at the center of the rape trial of two Ohio high-school football players learned of the assault over text messages the next morning, it was testified this week. The trial is focusing primarily on text messages, cell phone pictures, and social media surrounding the alleged crime.

The state forensics investigator, Joann Gibb, diligently quoted from text messages and other social media from over 17 devices, mostly cell phones. In one example, the alleged victim asked one of the defendents to clarify what happened the evening before, writing: "And don't lie about anything. I need to know the truth. People keep asking. Idk (I don't know) what to say." While he wrote "nothing happened" he also confirmed she had performed a sex act on him.

The two high-schoolers charged with the sexual assault are Trent Mays, 17, and Ma'lik Richmond, 16. The girl's name is not released. Prosecutors claim citing social media and cell phone interaction, that Mays and Richmond penetrated the victim's vagina with their fingers on August 12. The defense, arguing that no one can be sure who sent the messages from the phone, maintains that both men are innocent and questions the validity of the messages.

Many of the text messages from Mays contradict each other. Some confirm he had sex with her; others say she performed a sex act on him; other messages deny. To one message asking him "Did u do it?" he responds: "No, lol. She could barely move." In another, he writes: "I'm pissed all I got was a hand job, though. I should have raped since everyone thinks I did." In some of the messages Mays describes the girl as "dead" or a "dead body" that evening. An Instagram photo of the two defendants carrying the limp girl by her arms and legs out of the house has also been used in the trial.

The case will most likely hinge on whether Mays and Richmond knew the girl was too impaired to make decisions. Six of the witnesses confirm that the girl was very intoxicated, "stumbling and slurring her words." A 17-year-old girl who went to a party with the alleged victim said they shared half a bottle of vodka, poured into a flavored crushed ice drink—and that she witnessed her friend continue to drink beer. She begged the alleged victim not to continue partying with Mays and Richmond. She didn't see her friend until the next day when she picked her up at another home, where she describes the girl as a "mess," wearing a stained shirt inside-out. The alleged victim had contacted a friend of Mays, asking "Who was there who did that to me? You couldn't have told them to stop or anything?"

The trial, which has divided the down-on-its-luck industrial town on the Ohio River, will most likely stretch on into the weekend, with a verdict expected Sunday. Some have said that the school's popular football team has long been the source of (often accepted) rampant misconduct, and that the culture of protection surrounding the team could be a reason that the other students failed to stop them.

[CNN | New York Times | USA Today | Reuters, image via AP]

A disrespectful douche causing trouble on Cavill Avenue in Surfers Paradise learns two invaluable lessons for the price of one: Don't be a dick; and living statues are not actual statues.

[H/T: Reddit]

A Wisconsin court has banned a local man from all the libraries on the planet after he was caught openly masturbating inside the Racine Public Library.

The 20-year-old, identified as Tyree S. Carter, was reportedly "standing in the open, not trying to conceal the act."

A police officer who was called to the scene found Carter still at the library reading a book, and asked him if he was aware of a complaint against him.

According to the criminal complaint, Carter initially denied any wrongdoing, but eventually apologized and claimed it was his first time masturbating in public.

Carter, who is believed to be homeless, was booked into the Racine County Jail on charges of lewd and lascivious behavior.

His bond was set at $1,000 on one condition: That he "stay out of all the libraries on the face of the earth."

[photo via Shutterstock]

Men: they are wearing beards now. Why? The WSJ's Tina Gaudoin has a theory:

I blame the economy. That's an easy out. But from my front row seat at the financial crisis (The Wall Street Journal offices in New York), I witnessed an economy in free fall, taking with it the grooming habits of New York City males. In the space of a month, a city previously filled with energized, well-suited, clean-shaven men became a ghetto of sleep-deprived, scuff-shoed, wrinkle-suited, unshaven shadows shuffling through the streets in a haze of shock and disbelief.

Fed chairman Ben Bernanke-who became a totem of hope, or at least the last bastion against the threat of another Great Depression-was bearded. The villain of the piece, Bernie Madoff, was not; appearing at all times clean-shaven and bespoke-suited. Suddenly looking less like a successful banker and more like a man who was up to a challenge on the mean streets wasn't only preferable, it was practically mandatory. In the space of a few short weeks, beards became symbols of empathy and humility, a rejection of the overt pursuit of the capitalist ideal.

Men are wearing beards now because of Ben Bernanke.

No. That's definitely not it.

[WSJ. Photo: LATFH]

Matt Lauer, the man who, for so long, has made our mornings slightly uncomfortable in indescribable ways, could be gearing up to make us slightly uncomfortable in the early evenings. According to the New York Post, several "knowledgeable sources" report that Lauer is the first choice to replace Trebek after the Jeopardy! host's contract expires.

Not right away, thankfully. Trebek, 73, who suffered his second heart attack last year, recently signed his final three-year deal with Sony. That means he or his dead body propped up on a stick are locked in to host until 2016.

Meanwhile, Lauer, longing for the Todays of yesterday, is not expected to re-sign his morning show contract after it expires in 2015. While Today was the number-one most watched morning show for sixteen years straight, it ratings have recently begun tanking.

The change seems to have come with the abrupt firing of Ann Curry, a co-host viewers also couldn't stand, although no one remembers that now. All we remember is that Matt Lauer did a bad thing (Did he fire Curry? Did put her hand in water while she was sleeping? Did he burn down her house?) and now he is bad.

But just because Lauer won't have anything better to do in 2016 than loaf around the Hamptons watching Jeopardy! reruns in his stocking feet, doesn't mean he's the right man for the job. Alex Trebek is a twinkly-eyed old history teacher. Matt Lauer is a slick assistant principal. He doesn't have that spark.

Of course, a lot can happen in three years. Scientists could invent a machine that prevents aging, so Alex Trebek can host the show forever. Alex Trebek could learn how to turn his weak, disease-ridden heart into a cold, hard heart of stone, à la the unkillable Matt Lauer.

According to the Post, Sony is also considering Anderson Cooper (former host of The Mole) for the gig. He'd be fun.

[NY Post // Image via Getty]

Getting a newsman to read aloud what at first blush appears to be an innocuous name, but in actuality is a dirty word, during a live broadcast, is the oldest trick in the book.

That, however, doesn't make it any less hysterical.

Meteorologist Henry DiCarlo and his colleagues at KTLA maintain eternal vigilance against such pranks, but one managed to slip by DiCarlo as he was wrapping up his Wednesday morning shout-outs.

"And Hugh Janus turning 10," DiCarlo says nonchalantly before moving on to his next topic.

But dapper Morning News anchor Chris Schauble quickly arrived at the realization that no parent with the last name Janus would be so cruel as to name their son Hugh.

DiCarlo took his punking like a champ, but, always the professional, made sure to add a necessary disclaimer: "Hopefully there's not a ten year old really with that name out there."

[H/T: Guyism]

The hacker who obtained and released private email correspondence between President George Bush and his family and friends is on a new tear. "Guccifer," who earlier this week took over former Secretary of State Colin Powell's Facebook page, also broke into the ex-general's email account, and the email account of Clinton aide and confidant Sidney Blumenthal.

Blumenthal and Powell join the growing list of Guccifer's victims, which now includes the Bush family, Senator Lisa Murkowski, former U.N. ambassador John Negroponte, members of the Rockefeller family, and some federal agents. Many of the affected have AOL email accounts; Guccifer's pattern, according to the Smoking Gun, seems to follow the logic of certain conspiracy theories, which may help explain why members of the foreign policy establishment—rather than, you know, fun or sexy celebrities—are being targeted:

In e-mail screeds, "Guccifer" seems to subscribe to dark conspiracies involving the Federal Reserve, the Council on Foreign Relations, and attendees of Bohemian Grove retreats. "the evil is leading this fucked up world!!!!!! i tell you this the world of tomorrow will be a world free of illuminati or will be no more," the hacker declared.

Guccifer is said to have all of Blumenthal's correspondence with Hillary Clinton, and a number of personal and financial matter-related emails to and from Powell. Little of it has been publicly released, as of yet. The FBI is investigating the hacks.

[TSG]

Pope Francis made a valiant attempt to fall playfully into America's hearts on Friday, tripping down some stairs while greeting a cardinal at the Vatican.

However, while the endearing "klutzy stumble" was charming when performed by actress Jennifer Lawrence on Oscar night, the 76-year-old pope's rendition was mostly nerve-wracking and scary. He recovered his balance quickly and is fine.

[video via USA Today]

Ten years ago next week, the United States invaded Iraq. The ensuing decade of war would destroy Iraq, kill hundreds of thousands of civilians and soldiers, and cost trillions of dollars. It was not worth it. Not even close. A new accounting from the Costs of War project at Brown University lays bare just how much blood and treasure ten years of the War in Iraq has cost. For example:

• More than 189,000 direct war deaths.
• At least 123,000-134,000 civilians killed in Iraq, and perhaps many times more.
• More than 6,600 US soldiers and 3,000 US contractors killed in Iraq and Afghanistan.
• Almost 700,000 US veterans of Iraq or Afghanistan have been granted disability.
• The future medical costs of caring for disabled Iraq and Afghanistan veterans is projected to be between $600 billion and $1 trillion.
• The US has already spend well over $2 trillion on the war in Iraq. Over the next 40 years, we could pay close to $4 trillion in interest on costs associated with the war.

[The full report. Photo: AP]

An online friendship doesn't mean you share mutual affection, trust, history, or any of the other standard qualifiers for a relationship and this is mostly chill because it's Facebook and that's how Facebook has worked for years. Well Connecticut-based photographer and astute cultural observer, Ty Morin has discerned this as well and he plans to do something about it.

Morin has raised over $7,000 so far on Kickstarter to fund his travels to visit every single one of his 788 Facebook friends. But these visits aren't just about good times with nearly 800 strangers; Morin will, of course, make a film about his journey.

Will he conduct some anthropological analysis about the significance of online connections? Will he try to parse out how social media influences our perception of friendship? Maybe, but probably not. His goal is "to capture everyone doing something they are passionate about." Mhm.

He will visit every single person (not looking for invites here) and attempt to reconnect, catch up, or form a quickie relationship. And he will make these folks look him in the eye, devote their complete attention to him, and reveal their innermost dreams:

"No more hiding behind the screen of social media. Stop looking down at your phone and pretending you're texting your BFF when you walk by an old friend from high school. Lets get out there and remind people what it's like to have a face to face conversation with someone."

Morin will use an 8x10 camera to document his journey. That's one of those old-fashioned cameras that kind of looks like it has an accordion connecting the front lens and the back. It usually requires a tripod and one of those curtain type things that the photographer hides behind. They are mostly used in old-timey movies because they are from the old times and are inconvenient. Morin writes that actually the hassle of this crazy camera is part of the appeal:

"The process of shooting with this camera is long and tedious. It can be a pain in the ass sometimes, but it also allows me to spend time with these people. Each portrait takes about an hour to complete… I'm going to do this the old fashioned way...like back in the day when the idea of a photograph was more than just something to post on the internet."

Morin estimates that 788 of these photographs will run up to about $4,000. He asked for $5,000 in his campaign and noted that the rest of the funds will be used for travel expenses, like gasoline and maybe some Slurpees and an audiobook of The Help. All that money is a high price for friendship, considering Morin estimates he's "never even spoken to" at least half of the 788.

Also, Morin is the type of dude whose profile photo involves him sticking out his tongue with some food in his mouth. So to his Facebook buddies, have a fun first-time convo and some ostensibly heartfelt chatting about your passions while you sit still for an insanely long time in front of a camera that will make you look a Victorian ghost.

[UPI]

The United States' most notorious food ban is finally being lifted.

Well, kinda.

Kinder Surprise eggs, an Italian brand of egg-shaped chocolate candies containing a toy "surprise" inside, have been banned in the States since long before they were first manufactured in the early '70s.

That's because the US has had a ban on candies with embedded toys since 1938.

The confection also runs afoul of a law requiring all toys that accompany candies to be safe for children of all ages (the toys contained in the eggs are labeled as being safe for ages 3 and up).

Nevertheless, Kinder eggs remain highly popular in America, and citizens regularly attempt to smuggle samples into the country despite a potential fine of up to $2,500 per egg.

In an effort to save thousands of candy mules from having to regularly stuff chocolate eggs up their rectum, a New Jersey-based company has come up with an ingenious way of making Kinder eggs entirely legal.

Foodbeast explains:

Choco Treasures are different. First off, each of the three different editions of Choco Treasure has its own collection of all ages toys, from the original chocolate eggs to sports balls to even a Spider-man-inspired egg, licensed from Marvel. Second, each egg features a specially-designed capsule that separates the two halves of the chocolate so even a small child can see the there's something on the inside.

Choco Treasure eggs will be hitting shelves across the country just in time for Easter.

Fans of the original product have plenty to gripe about: The toys are rather mediocre and the chocolate is a fry cry from Ferrero's world-class white-on-black goodness, but it's a start.

And for a country that has a ban on chocolate eggs, it's about as good a start as you're likely to get.

[H/T: Consumerist via AnimalNY, photos via Foodbeast]

Sky News correspondent Mark Stone was detained by Chinese police in Beijing this morning while in the middle of a live segment on the anniversary of the Tiananmen Square massacre. Most of the episode—include the moment they were detained, and Stone's conversations with one officer in the midst of their detention—was captured by Sky's camera operator and broadcast live to viewers of the English cable channel. (The entire incident was also captured by another police officer, who filmed the incident on a portable camera.) Stone says that they were detained for saying an unspecified word ("protest"? "Massacre"?) during the report; the English-speaking cop with whom he talks says they were stopped from filming because they didn't have the right permits. [TV Newser]

As though shit-encrusted cruise ships weren't enough: a Greyhound bus traveling from Atlantic City to New York was forced to evacuate because of a roach infestation:

The bus was carrying 48 people and an unknown number of roaches when it left Atlantic City at 10 a.m., according to Greyhound.

"Once the driver became aware of the situation, the driver followed procedures by pulling the bus over to a safe location and notifying our dispatch office," Greyhound spokesman Timothy Stokes said.

The passengers were picked up by a second bus and given refunds. The first bus, we can only imagine, was left to the roaches, who took the wheel and drove off into the South Jersey sunset, the typewriter click of their wings receding into the distance.

[NBC New York, image via AP]

Could the reason for Westboro Baptist Church founder Fred Phelps' hyperbolic hatred of homosexuals be the result of an ongoing battle with his own repressed homosexuality?

One former member says perhaps.

Speaking with the Advocate following the release of her book about leaving the WBC, 27-year-old Lauren Drain, daughter of WBC spokesman Steve Drain, suggested the bigoted cult leader likely formed his anti-gay worldview in the aftermath of a gay experience during his teen years.

In the interview, Drain, author of Banished: Surviving My Years in the Westboro Baptist Church, discusses Phelps youth in the Boy Scouts and his preparations to join the military, which ended abruptly due to an transformative "event."

At 17, Phelps suddenly dropped out of West Point and decided to become a preacher, Drain said, "and now he had this whole crusade against sexual immorality. … And it was after this event."

Drain admits she never discussed the life-altering incident with Phelps one-on-one, but says she has speculated quite a bit about it, and believes it might have had something to do with a gay experience. (For the record, Phelps himself attributes his about-face to a revival meeting at a a Methodist church in Meridian.)

Drain elaborated:

I never understood why, when [the media asked him], "Why are you so against the homosexuals? Did you have a homosexual experience? Do you have homosexual tendencies?" And he would get so mad, he would shut down. And he'd be like, "I can't talk to this person anymore, they're stupid." His reaction to that was stronger than any other question you can ask him. So I always wondered that - why does he get so mad? If I'm not gay, I'll just say I'm not gay. And I'm not going to freak out, like, "Why are you calling me gay?" I always thought that was super strange. … I don't know what happened there, so [speculation] is all that I can leave it at. But something happened, and something made him change his mind about the military, and in turn have kind of a crusade against sexual immorality and homosexuals.

With more and more high-profile members of the WBC jumping ship in recent months, we may not need to subsist on speculation alone for long.

[H/T: Fark, images via Facebook, Internet]