Last night, Showtime aired the documentary Why We Laugh: Funny Women, a follow-up to its 2009 doc Why We Laugh: Black Comedians on Black Comedy. Dozens of female comedians were interviewed for it, including titans like Joan Rivers, Whoopi Goldberg, Lily Tomlin, Aisha Tyler and Kathy Griffin, who riffed on what it's like to be a woman in what is still considered (by many of them even) to be a "masculine" job in a male-dominated field.

The most satisfying section (condensed slightly above) was when these women answered the claim made by Adam Carolla, Jerry Lewis and Christopher Hitchens that women simply aren't funny. Many of them disproved their naysayers on the spot, of course.

My favorite response came from Romy & Michelle's High School Reunion writer Robin Schiff: "One of the reasons I think women aren't funny is because we're so busy thinking about when we can give our next blowjob, it's like our brains are so crowded up with that, we don't have time to think of funny things to say."

Update: For the sake of clarification, Adam Carolla didn't say that women aren't funny, as claimed in the clip above. He said they are less funny than men. Here is the excerpt from a 2012 New York Post interview:

Post: The lesson you learned from a sexual harassment seminar was "Don't hire chicks." Do you hate working with women?

Carolla: No. But they make you hire a certain number of chicks, and they're always the least funny on the writing staff. The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor, I'm just gonna tell her, "Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they'll have to hire you, they can't really fire you, and you don't have to produce that much. It'll be awesome."

Post: The "are women funny" debate has grown very contentious. You're not worried about reactions to this?

Carolla: I don't care. When you're picking a basketball team, you'll take the brother over the guy with the yarmulke. Why? Because you're playing the odds. When it comes to comedy, of course there's Sarah Silverman, Tina Fey, Kathy Griffin - super-funny chicks. But if you're playing the odds? No.

If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they'd be off TV. They're not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we'd know who she was? Honestly.

Still a dick, though.

A Northeast Texas woman learned a valuable lesson — literally — about the dangers of using fire to rid one's home of snakes.

The unidentified homeowner was doing some yard work yesterday evening outside her Bowie County house when she suddenly spotted a snake.

Fire Chief David Wesslehoft told reporters the incident is still under investigation, but local authorities believe they have a pretty good handle on what happened next.

"While cleaning up, she saw a snake, threw gasoline on the snake, and lit the snake on fire," Bowie County Sheriff's Deputy Randall Baggett told KHOU. "And the snake went into the brush pile and the brush pile caught the home on fire."

The house then proceeded to burn to the ground.

A neighboring home was also damaged.

Wesslehoft, the Fire Chief, said this biblical scenario was a first for him, but noted that flaming animals have been known to torch people's homes in the past.

"Yes, it could happen with rabbits and big field mice," he told KSLA. "Once they start burning the grass, they get out of their hole, they have been known to catch fire and then take off."

[H/T: Uproxx, screengrab via KHOU]

Henry Blodget, a full grown adult who's held a highly compensated job in finance and founded a multimillion-dollar media company, still retains his ability to be astounded by the little things in life. Like airplanes: what is it like to ride in one? Or women: are they too lazy to get good jobs? Or Jews: why do people hate them so much? Today, Henry Blodget, who has retained the wonderful ability to see the world through a child's eyes (which so many of his cynical peers have lost), has found something outside of his hotel room door. But what??

"Look What I Found Outside My Hotel Door In The Morning - Yesterday's News!" reads the "headline." Henry Blodget is, in all seriousness, an artist of the internet whose methods should be studied and analyzed for future generations.

"A couple of days ago, in Los Angeles, I opened the door to my hotel room in the morning to find a newspaper," writes Blodget, in a format that could be mistaken for a "story. The unexpected appearance of this mundane object throws our narrator into a contemplative mood.

"Somewhere in there, I also (briefly) contemplated the immense amount of work and money that had gone into producing and delivering that newspaper to me. The news-gathering, the writing, the editing, the laying-out, the printing, the truck delivery, the hotel employee who had to push carts around the hotel for hours in the dead of night," he muses. "And that doesn't even include the cost of growing, cutting, and pulping trees, making paper and ink, and burning coal and oil for power and electricity to run those gigantic machines."

Then at the end there is a photo of a newspaper lying on the floor [PHOTO CREDIT: Henry Blodget].

Henry Blodget is currently staring uncomprehendingly at a cement mixer.

[Business Insider. Photo: Getty]

The Wall Street Journal, a biweekly newsletter offering money saving tips for moms-of-multiples, published a heartbreaking story Friday addressing an issue which affects all Americans: castles. More specifically, that owning them can be a real headache!

The thing that many part-time students and street performers don't understand, is that buying and maintaining a 28-room, 10,000-square-foot 11th century Bavarian castle is expensive. You can't just set aside your tips for a month, waltz over to Germany, and snatch up one of the approximately 5,000 they have junked over there. Even if you work at a really well known restaurant and make a lot of tips, after scraping together the multi-million dollar down payment, brokerage fees, and purchase tax, you'll still lose hundreds of thousands of dollars a year just keeping it heated, lit, and, y'know...going.

So before you even think about purchasing your first (or second) castle, one Wall Street Journal expert recommends having a lot of money.

"My main tip is you need a lot of money," says Bernd Neuhäuser, managing director of Vermittlung historischer Immobilien, which specializes in selling historical buildings.

Street performer of stage and screen Nic Cage, who bought a 28-room, 10,000-square-foot 11th century Bavarian castle in 2006, was forced to sell it a mere three years later due to what he described as "the difficult economic situation." If a son of Coppola, with his keen mind and treasure hunting ability, couldn't afford to hold onto his castles (he owned another in England that he sold the same year), what hope is there for us, the offspring of lesser cinema dynasties?

Even if you manage to pull yourself out of the financial quicksand, you'll soon find yourself drowning in the myriad inconveniences that arise from living in a breathtaking luxury home whose sole purpose is to protect rich people from the dangers of outside riffraff.

One family, who make their home in a castle nestled on "a scenic stretch of the Rhine River," told the Journal they must endure an agonizing five (5) minute walk to their home from their car.

One of their biggest challenges is that they can't drive up to the castle. Instead, the family must park and take a five-minute uphill walk to the front door, which is accessed by a drawbridge.

300 seconds, a miniature infinity, during which time the poor members of the Hecher clan are eaten alive by their merciless consciences.

Why didn't the original owners build a castle for their car right outside the regular castle?

Why wasn't the castle built bigger, to extend all the way down to the highway?

Why did I have to live in a fucking fairytale castle, anyway?

Since they live in a beautiful wonderland far, far away—from their car—the family makes it out to the grocery store but once a week, as opposed to the daily/tri-daily trips non-noble families make (?).

They make one trip to the grocery store a week, with an extensive list.

And don't even think about forgetting the butter. No one's gonna make that five minute trip back to the car for you; you'll choke down your dry black bread with tears in your eyes for seven days and seven nights. Maybe, if you're lucky, a couple teardrops will spill onto it. Give it a little flavor.

"If you say, 'I forgot the butter!' then that's a little difficult," Mr. Hecher says.

But of all the bad things associated with owning a castle, the very worst thing—the thing that, above all else, should convince you not to live your ridiculous life in a ridiculous castle—has got to be the historical preservation clause that sometimes prevents you from owning an indoor toilet:

While most approve modernization plans, there are others that insist on maintaining the complete integrity of the castle—sometimes including the lack of indoor plumbing.

Congratulations. You're the lord of Shit Manor.

Enjoy your castle.

[WSJ // Image via Shutterstock]

A man in Arkansas who sought to show off his heroic side to a love interest decided to speed up the process by staging a rape attempt while the two were on a date.

Had he kept watching the screwball comedy he clearly borrowed that move from, he would no doubt have learned that these types of set-ups always end badly.

Police in Jonesboro say Jeffery Tyler Siegel, 26, and his lady friend were leaving the lookout pavilion at Crowley's Ridge Nature Center, when they were attacked by a masked man brandishing a large knife.

The attacker reportedly said to Siegel, "You can go; but, your girlfriend stays."

Rather than stick around to watch her knight in plastic armor try and fend off her imminent rape, the woman instead decided to get the hell out of there and call the cops.

Realizing that his plan was going nowhere good, Siegel "scraped himself" to appear as though he had been "cut by the attacker's knife."

Following an initial round of questioning during which Siegel claimed to have kneed the attacker in the stomach causing him to flee the scene, a search was conducted for suspect which, unsurprisingly, turned up nothing.

A subsequent interview with the "damsel in distress," however, resulted in suspicion being cast in Siegel's direction after his date told police she found it odd that he had been texting just prior to the alleged attack.

A follow up with Siegel ultimately brought out the truth: He had asked a friend to help him stage a fake attack in order to increase his chances with the woman.

"He did not ever intend on it going this far and that he did not plan on the police being notified," the police report stated. "He said it just really got out of hand very fast."

The good news is, in exchange for coming clean, police agreed not to move forward with charges against Siegel.

The bad news is, the woman said she plans to break off all contact with Siegel, telling Region 8 News she thought what he did "was not very heroic."

[H/T: Guy Code Blog, screengrab via KAIT8]

Newton Leroy Gingrich, a former college professor who co-writes speculative novels about alternative versions of history, has just coauthored the most momentous counterfactual of his career. Forget wondering what would have happened if the Confederates had won at Gettysburg, or if the United States had fought Imperial Japan and left Hitler alone: What if the two most absurd and most widely loathed candidates in last year's Republican presidential primaries had joined forces to win the White House?

Bloomberg Businessweek breaks the news that Gingrich and former medical-industry executive Rick Santorum engaged in talks about combining their campaigns into a "Unity Ticket" that would have won the secure and enthusiastic backing of the American conservative movement. Side by side, no longer draining resources from each other, they could have defeated the wishy-washy Mitt Romney and, by logical extension, Barack Obama. Picture it: This past January, our nation's greatness restored, as the Capitol dome and God's eyes gazed down on the inauguration of President Santorum President Gingrich No, Santorum. Get serious, obviously it should be Gingrich. What's that?

[T]he negotiations collapsed in acrimony because Gingrich and Santorum could not agree on who would get to be president. "In the end," Gingrich says, "it was just too hard to negotiate."

For want of a nail, the shoe was lost. They tried in earnest. As one source puts it, "Rick and Newt did talk by phone for quite awhile"—each man presumably assuming the other was calling to accept his generous offer of the vice presidency.

But on the eve of the Michigan primary, when a Singrich-Gantorum push could have critically wounded Mitt Romney in one-quarter of his home states, the opportunity was lost:

Finally, the two candidates spoke face-to-face at an energy forum just before the primary. Gingrich made an elaborate historical argument that when the party hasn't been able to agree on a nominee, it always settles on the senior figure. Santorum wasn't persuaded, and urged Gingrich to do what was best for the conservative movement.

Neither man would yield. "I'd like to have had Santorum drop out, and he'd have liked me to drop out," Gingrich says.

In the end, each man got what he wanted.

New data from the US Census shows that old folks are becoming ever more likely to need to move into your spare bedroom: "The median level of debt among households led by someone 65 and older..rose nearly 120% between 2000 and 2011 from roughly $12,000 to $26,000, due largely to rising mortgage debt."

So the median debt of retirement-aged people is $26,000, and the majority of workers have less than $25,000 in total household savings.

Fortunately, the average American cannot do math.

[WSJ. Photo: Franco Folini/ Flickr]

Filming for the pilot episode of Girl Meets World (Disney's Boy Meets World girl power remix) kicked off this week, and tons of people from the old cast swung by the set to visit.

Or is it that Mr. Feeny, Shawn, Eric, et al. finally returned home to their quiet Philadelphia lives after an extended stint portraying actors in a land of make believe? Maybe the world we visit in our sleep is "real" and waking life is the dream?

Maitland Ward Baxter, who starred, alongside her old nose, as Rachel in the latter seasons of Boy Meets World, Instagrammed a picture of herself posing with William Daniels, better known to grown-up children as Mr. Feeny, inside a fake classroom.

The new generation's "Cory Matthews" and "Shawn Hunter" (actresses Rowan Blanchard and Sabrina Carpenter) also shared pictures of themselves receiving big, smiley hugs from Rider Strong and Will Friedle, who portrayed Shawn and Cory Matthews' elder brother Eric on the the original series.

Last November, Rider Strong wrote on his website that he had "no official involvement in Girl Meets World," though he did leave open the possibility for a guest appearance.

We will note that William Daniels is certainly dressed like Mr. Fee-hee-hee-heenay, although it's possible that that's just how he dresses now that he's a little old man.

[Imagess via Maitland Ward Baxter/Instagram and Sabrina Carpenter/Twitter]

For actors and directors promoting a new movie, a Reddit "Ask Me Anything" thread has quickly gone from weird internet novelty to necessary stop on the publicity tour. As such, these Q and As with Reddit users have come to be often as dull and predictable as an old-school press junket.

That's what makes the Ask Me Anything of Spring Breakers director Harmony Korine's so great. It's unclear if he's on or off something but his typo-and-non-sequitur-filled performance in his AMA today was inspired. The only way to resist the insufferable PR machine is clogging it with pure nonsense. Here are a bunch of his answers:

Q: Good afternoon. I just wanted to say that the film, Kids, was great and taught me a lot about the dangers of unprotected sex. Thank you

A: yor welcome herpes

Q: What has changed about the film/cinema industry since you got started? Do you think America even has an audience for cinema anymore? Do you know that your name is really fun to say?

A: cinema has changed. cinema is now a 30 second youtube clip. clear your mind. think of different now. make it bend to you. never use a walking stick, it looks doper to limp. catch my drift?

Q: Hey Harmony was there any reluctance from Selena Vanessa and Ashley when making Spring Breakers because it could potentially alienate some fans or were they down for anything?

A: its all good. life is perfect.

Q: What is the point you are getting across in this film? What will society gain from this?

A: yes it will thrive because of this

Q: Was Gucci Mane's sex scene unsimulated?

A: it was fun she was twirkin

Q: Who was Gucci Mane's sex scene with?

A: it was a sex scene with gucci

Q: What was the most insane thing Gucci said to you while on set?

A: my wrists sparkle like lemmmons

Q: Are we going to see lots of titties in the movie?

A: of course. thats what lifes about.

Q: Is Harmony short for Harmonica?

A: Yourmommica

Q: Whats your favorite ATL Twins story?

A: the time they double penetraded their gym coach

Q: Who is a director whose films you enjoy?

A: leos carax

Q: Did you address Gucci Mane as "Gucci" or "Guwop" while filming?

A: scoochi two times

Q: Dearest Harmony, I have a picture you drew (Heaven Cries for Us All) that I got from your Grandma's old neighbor, a picture of you as a child wearing a shirt with a bird on it standing on a woman's lap was inside the frame. The end.

A: yes that is valuble.

Q: Tell us the funniest and craziest situation on the set.

A: i found a gay dude smoking menthols hidden in the floor boards of a motel

Q: Can you tell us anything about your next project/any future plans?

A: i want it to be full on

Q: Harmony, How did you get Herzog to be bff's with you. I would like to go bowling with you two.

A: he called me up after gummo and said 'you are the last foot soldier in the army' and then i jumped on a plane to sf and met him in the street. hes one of the greatest

Q: If you could give any advice to young directors what would it be? What's being awesome like?

A: feels good. be bold. never give up. soldier of cinema like herzog says.

Q: Care to talk about any future plans?

A: i want to keep making movies. i wanna go hard. try new things.

Q: Any ideas for what you want to tackle for your next movie, subject-wise or otherwise?

A: something about super gangstas...that could mean almost anything though.

Q: I represent a band from Atlanta named IRREVERSIBLE and we're coming up to Nashville soon. Would you like to attend? Gaspar and you are major inspirations and we'd like to share our art with you.

A: i cant listen if there is a guitar in it

Q: Hey harmony! huge fan! After watching "ken park" I was wondering, is the movie a study on each of the main character's Subconscious desires? it seems like a collection of random stories but the theme of full-filling a deep desire keeps coming up. keep pushing the boundaries!

A: i wrote ithat movie a while back. hard to remember what its about.

Q: WHY ARE YOUR MOVIES SO HORRIBLE!?

A: why is your face like a douche

[Image via Getty]

While vacationing in Gansbaai, South Africa, Bryan Plummer decided to take in some world-class cage diving with a bunch of friends.

But just when Plummer thought it was safe to send his recently-married pal Roger into the water in a shark-proof diving cage, along came a Great White with his eyes on the meaty prize.

Plummer describes what happens next:

A shark totally ignores the bait and goes straight for the cage!! He gets his head inside the cage, while fellow diver Roger...acted quickly to swim below the gaping sharks mouth and to avoid any injury.

Apologies for any profanity in the video.. it was an out of control situation.

The profanity can be forgiven, but what a missed opportunity to yell "you're gonna need a smaller diving cage."

Naturally, YouTubers weren't all that impressed with Roger's near-death experience: "Good video but it would've been much better if the shark ate both of the people in the cage."

[H/T: @Storyful]

This week, Bill Cosby was a guest on Letterman, where the 75-year-old made many jokes about being old. One Cosby admirer not watching was Kiley Kmiec, a Santa Monica resident who couldn't bring himself to witness the Coz's appearance "for fear of tossing shit at my TV."

Kmiec is the co-founder of CosbySweaters.com, a two-and-a-half year old website for "sports fans who love music, tech, pop culture, and dumb Internet videos." A kind of loving tribute to the comedian, the name Cosby Sweaters was chosen because the icon of ‘80s nostalgia captured the site's motley approach to a vision. "Our site looks like everything is thrown randomly—it doesn't make a lot of sense, but it works when you pay attention," Kmiec explained to me recently over the phone. To underscore the point, they'd adopted the tagline, "The Magic Is In the Details."

But as of yesterday, Cosby Sweaters was no more. Earlier this month, the University of Southern California grad found himself the recipient of a cease and desist from Cosby's legal representatives at the Manhattan-based firm Patterson Belknap Webb & Tyler (posted below), who alleged his site was a clear violation of their very famous client's intellectual property rights. "I'm like, ‘Are you kidding me? My childhood hero is, suing us?''"

That's what Cosby's lawyer was threatening. From the document:

Mr. Cosby has used his name for decades in connection with activities as an entertainer. His name is famous throughout the world and he has acquired tremendous goodwill and valuable intellectual property rights, including a United States trademark registration. (See attached Schedule 8.) In addition, as you know, the multi-colored, multi-patterned sweaters that Mr. Cosby wore on ‘The Cosby Show,' an iconic television program that aired from 1984 through 1992 and has continued in broadcast as reruns and in syndication both domestically and internationally through the present, are strongly associated with Cosby. The term ‘Cosby Sweater' instantly evokes Mr. Cosby and The Cosby Show."

This isn't the first time Cosby's lawyers have tried to strong-arm little guys into abandoning their affectionately branded tributes to Camille's husband. In 2005, the comedian's reps went after House of Cosbys, an online animated series about a fervent Cosby fan who cloned a household of mutant Cosbys, firing off cease and desists to the show's creator, Justin Roiland, and the producers of its online host, Channel101.com, one of whom was maniacal Community showrunner Dan Harmon. Both resisted, but Cosby's firm went after the site's ISP, which caved into the pressure, and House of Cosbys was pulled offline.

But why was an independent web-based artist like Roiland targeted when Family Guy, the Simpsons, and South Park had all parodied the Coz in animated form in the past? That's what blogger Andy Baio wanted to know. "This strikes me as a special kind of discrimination against amateur creators on the Internet," he wrote in a post defending his decision to host House of Cosbys on his site, Waxy.org, in protest. Months later, in 2006, he too received a c&d from Cosby's lawyer, but refused to comply. The New York Times covered his resistance and Baio never heard from Patterson Belknap Webb & Tyler again. To this day, House of Cosbys is available to watch on Waxy, including the series' phantom fifth episode, a crass clip made by angry fans that stars a Cosby stick figure humping a dog.

"I think it helps that nobody made any money off House of Cosbys and I had no financial incentive for hosting it," Baio now reasons over email. "Cosby Sweaters is in a different position—if they're perceived as having money, or making a decent amount of money off the site, that may make them an attractive target for a settlement."

Kmiec acknowledges that his site had T-shirts and Xbox avatars for sale, but insists those earnings have been laughably minimal: $526 in virtual avatars and $43 in tees. (They sold so few shirts, they gave away the rest.) They'd happily take those down if they could retain the name, but when they spoke with Cosby's legal team over the phone, that wasn't a provided option.

"We're not confusing consumers," said Kmiec, who believes that they'd have a reasonable case if this ever went to court. While Cosby does own the service trademark to "Bill Cosby," he doesn't own "Cosby sweater." No one does. CosbySweaters.com tried to register it when they first launched, but were refused.

The phrase certainly seems like a part of the cultural lexicon. There's an elaborate Tumblr, The Cosby Sweater Project, maintained by a Chicago artist who has separately illustrated nearly every sweater's pattern. There's a 2009 dance track called "Bill Cosby Sweater," a West Coast band called Cosby Sweater, and a Seattle dance circle.

So is the very famous comedian legal entitled to the phrase "Cosby sweaters"? Unclear, but it would be most definitely contingent upon the circumstances in which the term is used. For example, Cosby's legal team would have a difficult time claiming ownership to the phrase as a style descriptive. Like when sportswear brand O'Neill uses "Cosby" to advertise a women's acrylic sweater, or with the 600-plus items listed as "Cosby" sweaters on Etsy, or the 157 on eBay. To describe a busy, ugly sweater as a "Cosby sweater" is, at this point, practically a generic trademark.

This might be why artist Andrew Salomone, who got a fair amount of online publicity for making a Cosby sweater patterned with Bill Cosby wearing a Cosby sweater, never heard from the entertainer's representatives. "My suspicion is that they know about my project and they just aren't interested," emails Salomone. "But they haven't sent me any legal stuff either, so maybe that means he approves."

With a website like Cosby Sweaters, that has a million page views and 500,000 uniques a month, Cosby's legal team might be able to argue trademark dilution or confusion. But there's definitely a case to fight it. (Patterson Belknap Webb & Tyler did not return our request for comment.)

But they can't: Only weeks before the cease and desist, Kmiec quit his job at videogame company Electronic Arts to run Cosby Sweaters full-time. "I can't play chicken with them," he lamented. "I can't afford to do it." The site has decided to surrender, for now reverting to their bland LLC name Next Impulse Sports, while they mull over their new identity.

Kmiec has one idea: "We're gonna rename our site Claire's Pajamas."

[photo by AP]

The North Dakota House passed a bill this afternoon that would define life as beginning at conception, effectively moving one step closer to banning all abortion in the state without exception for rape or incest. Approved by the state Senate last month, the bill will now go to voters as a ballot initiative. This latest restrictive measure comes only a week after North Dakota legislators approved bills that would ban abortion beyond six weeks into pregnancy and ban abortion in the case of genetic abnormality, like Downs Syndrome.

While calling a goddamn zygote a person is already insane enough on its face, medical practitioners in North Dakota are further worried about what a personhood law could mean for basic OB/GYN care outside of abortion (which is also a basic OB/GYN procedure). Earlier this week, the North Dakota Medical Association came out against personhood laws, with doctors saying the potential for legal entanglements will be maddening when dealing with things like in vitro fertilization:

"These bills will stop the practice of in vitro fertilization in this state," said Dr. Stephanie Dahl, an obstetrician-gynecologist and reproductive medicine specialist in Fargo.

Although certain preparatory services still would be available, patients would have to travel to Sioux Falls, S.D., or Minneapolis for the actual treatments, which require multiple sonograms and eight to 12 visits over a period of six weeks, she said.

Dr. Steffen Christensen, who established the in vitro fertilization clinic in Fargo 19 years ago, also said the service to help couples have children would be shut down.

"The concern is this is criminal negligence if anything should happen to an embryo," he said.

Earlier this month, legislators in Arkansas passed a ban on abortions after 12 weeks of pregnancy, overriding Governor Mike Beebe, who had vetoed the bill.

[Image via AP]

Last night at a fundraising gala for the LA Gay and Lesbian Center, co-chairman of Sony Pictures Entertainment, Amy Pascal appealed to her Hollywood industry colleagues about some specific word choices:

"How about next time, when any of us are reading a script and it says words like fag, or faggot – homo – dyke – take a pencil and just cross it out. Just don't do it."

Her prepared speech was informed, sweeping, compassionate, and clear. She began her talk by recognizing visual media's power to entrench values, particularly to children and young adults.

"I'm talking about kids who are gay and I'm talking about kids who aren't gay. One group needs affirmation and the other group needs education. And, if I'm being honest, neither of those issues are high on any movie studio or TV network's agenda…"

This is a rare and specific stance from a Hollywood mogul. At Sony, Amy Pascal oversees development, production, distribution, home entertainment and marketing. In 2006, she was named as the most powerful woman in entertainment by the Hollywood Reporter; in 2009 Forbes put her at 60 out of 100 most powerful women in the world.

Pascal noted that television has been more progressive, and it's up to the film industry to catch up. She said that while there are "magnificent" movies about gay and lesbian characters, she mentions that certain troublesome themes and stereotypes persist:

"Brokeback Mountain, Milk, Boys Don't Cry, Philadelphia, The Hours, Gods and Monsters, The Talented Mr. Ripley, A Single Man, My Own Private Idaho, Cloud Atlas – in all these movies, the main character is murdered or martyred or commits suicide or just dies unhappily
Old stereotypes still exist. The most benign stereotypes would have a gay kid believe that they will end up being the asexual, witty best friend of the pretty girl, or a drag queen, or a swishy hairdresser. The list goes on."

While Pascal is coming from a place of positive advocacy, her only concrete suggestion—to delete certain offensive words, slurs, or phrases—might not be the best way to achieve her goal. Certainly, these slurs could a red-flags of a rude representation. Or perhaps they could be signs of an attempt towards a meaningful and realistic portrayal of a struggle towards equality and acceptance within the gay community. Not that Pascal is saying the deletion of phrases will be a panacea, but as the only concrete suggestion and perhaps the easiest, it could give a false sense of having done real work towards improving a dialogue.

To Pascal's great credit, she focuses on positive examples in her speech. She specifically noted films that give "great images" to their audiences, like The Kids Are All Right, Perks of Being a Wallflower, Beginners, The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, and ParaNorman, which featured the first gay character in an animated movie.

One of the final notes of her speech while a little inchoate, is a substantive and thoughtful perspective, overdue but nonetheless admirable coming from someone in her position:

"Now it's time for all of us to take that step. Not every gay character needs to be defined by his or her sexuality. Can't being gay just be one stitch in the fabric of someone's life? Can't we depict men and women who just so happen to be gay – perhaps a lawyer or soldier or business executive or scientist or engineer… We need to create an atmosphere that encourages people to speak up, so we get this right…
We can do better and we will do better. We have to. If we just think about that kid in North Dakota, or their parents, we might just do it a little differently."

[Deadline, image via Getty]

They went around supermarkets throwing gallons of milk and juice on the floor, and now three teens from northern Virginia are having the book thrown at them.

Authorities in Fairfax County say they've spent the last few weeks studying online video showing the band of "merry pranksters" behind the so-called "gallon smashing" fad destroying property at multiple supermarkets, and are now ready to charge the boys with multiple counts of destruction of property and disorderly conduct.

Omar, Zayd and Faysal Khatib uploaded the original "gallon smash prank" video to YouTube in late February, and it quickly took off, racked up millions of views and spawning International imitations.

The two brothers and their cousin eventually pulled the footage from their YouTube account and "kind of" apologized for their behavior.

But the damage was done — literally — and Fairfax County police are now planning to charge the teens with seven counts each of misdemeanor destruction of property and disorderly conduct.

Earlier this month, a 15-year-old in Butte, Montana, was also cited with misdemeanor criminal mischief and theft for pulling a similar prank at a local Walmart. And just this week, a teen in New Jersey was charged with criminal mischief and disorderly conduct for smashing two gallons of milk on the floor of a Shop-Rite.

[video via MyFoxDC]

Today, freelancer Luke Winkie wrote a little thing assigned to him by Complex entitled "The 40 Hottest Women in Tech." It was a list, you see, or really, a 40-image slide show of totally bangable women who work "in technology," (which includes, uh, hosting television shows, "New York City Government," and YouTube). The tagline reads, "Our digital beauties." The post begins:

Technology has been a boy's club for most of its existence. Just another unfortunate repercussion of the patriarchy. But that's been slowly changing, and over the last decade we've seen a number of wonderful, intelligent, and cunning women make inspiring strides in the field of technology. Through web development, social media, space exploration, and video game design, we see the world of tech becoming a more equal playing field. Here are 40 women we admire doing work in the field of innovation.

So what happened next? Sonic boom. All sorts of women who make you go "Awoooga!" [open mouth, tongue unrolls] were included in this roundup—New York Times writer Jenna Wortham, Lifehacker founder Gina Trapani, Boing Boing blogger Xeni Jardin—and it's fair to say that most of them did not take kindly to the, uh, honor:

Not that anyone else on Twitter liked the piece. A hailstorm of angry tweets responded to the piece, while several tech pundits, many of whom were included in the roundup, created a hilarious Branch (a conversation platform meets YelpKidz) called Hot Women in Tech. It's wonderful, and if you haven't seen it yet, go now.

Elsewhere, Luke Winke was spazzing out on Twitter, possibly because his ex-girlfriend was sub-tweeting him (take it to a 2am drunk fight outside a bar, guys.), responding to angry messages the way a kid caught by a teacher drawing Anarchy symbols on his locker in sharpie would, with a very whatEVER 'tude.

What was the "the real storyyyyyy"? Winke answered the question himself in a rambling explanation on TwitLonger. The whole spluttering thing is included here:

I was assigned to write the 50 Hottest Women in Tech by Complex and it really bummed me out, because the idea of perpetrating the same old gender divisions in an area like tech - which has predominantly been a boy's club throughout history - seemed like kind of a messed up thing to do. It represents the most banal form of internet content that exists. But it's hard to say no to a paycheck.

So what I tried to do was see if it was possible to make something called "The 50 Hottest Women in Tech" earnest and empowering and an actual good thing. I pretty much only included normal looking women, who were involved in something really crucial or exciting in the tech space. I made no allusions to their looks in the blurbs, and ended up with simply a long list of very exciting women.

Of course when the piece actually ran, I discovered that over half of the women I had included were replaced with people like Morgan Webb, complete with the usual lascivious dialogue. Sigh. It's hard to win when you're writing for Complex, but please know that I tried.

You see, what Luke had intended to write was not the infuriating garble we have here, but something that congratulated the women of tech for being such smart, empowering, (ahem) "normal"-looking humans. What woman wouldn't want to hear she looks "normal"?

Except that Winkie chose to condescend to these women—to all women really—by a) accepting this turd of an assignment in the first place and b) opening it with a collective pat on the head to a group of women who are smarter and better at their jobs than he is, who knows and c) trying to climb out of the grave he'd dug with a murky, sorta-kinda apology, a "that's just the way it is, what can ya do" sigh, and a promise that there once existed a document, as precious and rare as the Dead Sea scrolls themselves, that was about normal-looking women. Women who would look like the the result if you added up the attractiveness of women in tech, and then divided by that number of women in tech, I guess. You know what's a better way to avoid looking like the kind of guy who compiles repulsive lists of hot babes? Not accepting the assignment in the first place.

(The Daily Beast just published the original list- with some normal ass ladies on it - in pdf form, along with another rebuttal from Winkie. Complex cut his original list down and added some "digital beauties" of its own. Regardless, the list was still rife with errors and also, still a list ranking women's hotness on the internet.)

This unfortunately tends to be Complex's business model: slideshows that are part check-these-babes-out and part troll-the-feminists. And this is one hell of a troll. But thanks to Winkie's vague, useless attempt at undermining the inherent misogyny of the assignment—and thanks to bro-ditors who aborted whatever hint of righteousness Winkie might have added—the punchline to this troll is "women." Ha ha?

Photo: Nejron Photo/Shutterstock

Here's something sad you can bring up and then immediately regret bringing up at dinner tonight: a toy fox terrier beloning to Twilight actress Ashley Greene died in a fire at her apartment this morning.

TMZ reports that a firefighter confirmed Greene, her brother, and her boyfriend (rumored to be actor Ryan Philippe) were asleep in the actress' West Hollywood condo when the fire broke out at around 9:50 this morning.

The three of them are said to have immediately evacuated, though the men soon went back into the burning apartment to search for Greene's two dogs. One of the terriers was eventually saved; the other was later discovered dead under a bed.

TMZ has what appears to be a stealthily-shot cell phone video of Greene despondently cradling her dead dog's bedsheet-wrapped body in the lobby of her apartment building, if that sounds like something you'd like to see. But it shouldn't be.

The website reports that the blaze began when the flame of an unattended living room candle set a couch on fire.

Firefighters were able to contain the flames within twenty minutes.

TMZ describes Greene's apartment as "pretty much destroyed."

[TMZ // NYDN // Image via Getty]

There was quite a bit of hate mail to sort through this week, but not to worry—one person who wrote in said that if we keep behaving in this way, we'll be out of business.

Regarding our reporting on Bill O'Reilly's divorce, people consider us to be "buzzards," "Left Wing bA%S&tARD#," "maggots," people with "nothing better to do."

Subject: Are you joining Media Matters trashing Bill O'rielly?
Body: Dear Gawker,
What type of publication to you go dig up divorce records on the left? Why don't you focus your attentions on Where the witnesses from Bengazi have been hidden or on the immigration reforms in writing so the people can read these for themselves. What about the 600 million contract given by Nancy Pelosi to her husbands company. I dont under stand you all. Do you believe in decency or just trying to dig up dirt on the party you are against the pillars of the community. I am sure you had alot to trash Sarah Palin. Why would anyone give a rats ass about Bill O'Reilly? I don't ! But character assasination and aiding in covering up impeachable offences our President may be guilty of.? Your kind of journalist are like buzzards and maggots. May God save your soul.

Subject: O'Rreilly story
Body: Where people get these stories is beyond me. Bunch of nasty nonsense. Nothing better to do than dig up dirt.

Subject: HERE'S A TIP FOR YOU
Body: You Left Wing bA%S&tARD#  just keep doing what you're doing and soon you'll be out of business.

Not positive about what this is in regards to—could be the disclosure of an email address—but also it mentions tea?

Subject: Fat, Blowhard Author
Body: Ya know, if I didn't know better I would think that you are a card-carrying member of the Liberal, Elitist left. By the way, exactly how do you earn $$$ to support your useless life and pay for the equipment you use to be one  of those "hater" people?
Curious
Got something against tea?

A multi-volume exchange about some fact-checking regarding Civil War benefits. Watch for Caity's increasingly lovely sign-offs.

THE START:
Subject: civil war benefits
Body: You're a little late reporting on the 86  year old woman getting Civil War survivor's benefits. The benefits stopped when she was 18....68 years ago. Oh well. Fact checking be damned. It only ruins a "good" story. News reporting seems to be only repeating gossip and other things one has heard but not checked into. Goebbels as right: make the lie a big one and repeat in often enough and peole will think it's true because they "heard it somewhere". Get another line of work, Caity.

RESPONSE:
The 86 year old woman you reference stopped receiving benefits when she was 18 and is not mentioned in the Gawker story. The surviving children of two other veterans continue to receive benefits.
Have a wonderful day!

FOLLOW-UP:
But all benefits stop at 18 unless the person is handicapped. Are the two others handicapped since before 18?

CONCLUSION:
There's an article about this on Gawker.com that I believe would answer many of your questions. 
Have a blessed day!

GETTING THE LAST WORD:
Thanks.

Some opinions about Michael Jackson's children.

Subject: racism
Body: Many children are born through IVF or sperm donation.  The parents who wanted the children, are named on the birth certificates and are raising the children are without question the parents of those children.  I know women who have given birth to kids from another women's egg.  I know men whose wives were impregnated by sperm donation, because their sperm counts were too low.  I can't imagine anyone questioning the logic that the children born to them are in fact their children.  We all know cases like this.  Why is it different with Michael Jackson?  Why aren't the children he wanted, was proudly namedas the father of, and raised since birth, his own children?
Aren't what you are really saying is this:  what is a black man doing with white children?

That was all the hate mail for the week. Enjoy your weekend!

Ten years since the start of the war in Iraq, and nine years since getting shot in the spine by a sniper after being in Iraq for only five days, Tomas Young, a U.S. Army veteran, has decided to kill himself.

Since sustaining his initial injury, Young, who is now 33, has been one of the most vocal members of the activist group Iraq Veterans Against the War, even starring in the award-winning documentary Body of War, which followed him as he attempted to make sense of his circumstances. Unfortunately, Young has also been forced to watch as his body and abilities have slowly withered away, a cruel counterweight to his once boundless enthusiasm. At first he was only paralyzed from the waist down, but in 2008 his condition worsened when he suffered a pulmonary embolism and anoxic brain injury, ailments that further hampered his mobility and his speech. It's been downhill from there. In November, Young had his colon removed, and his wife, Claudia Cuellar, now feeds her husband liquid food through a tube.

After nine years in and out of hospitals, Young, who lives in Kansas City, told the Kansas City Star this week that he's decided to end his life, saying simply, "I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired." After trying to help him live for almost a decade, doctors have told Young they can't help him with his final wish. So sometime in the next few weeks he will start to refuse food, water, and medication. He told the Star he thinks it will only take about three days for him to die after that.

In an open letter to George W. Bush and Dick Cheney published on Truthdig earlier this week, Young wrote that the two men "may evade justice but in our eyes you are each guilty of egregious war crimes, of plunder and, finally, of murder, including the murder of thousands of young Americans—my fellow veterans—whose future you stole."

Young concludes with this:

My day of reckoning is upon me. Yours will come. I hope you will be put on trial. But mostly I hope, for your sakes, that you find the moral courage to face what you have done to me and to many, many others who deserved to live. I hope that before your time on earth ends, as mine is now ending, you will find the strength of character to stand before the American public and the world, and in particular the Iraqi people, and beg for forgiveness.

[Image via Democracy Now]

Last night, shortly after 7:50 PM, a meteor lit up night skies on the East Coast, shining as bright as the moon for about ten seconds. The meteor appeared as "a thin streak of blue-greenish-white," with the most sightings being reported in Maryland.

The meteor traveled from west to east in the northeast sky and was also clearly seen in New York City. It fit the characteristics of a fireball, which according to American Meteor Society (AMS) "is a meteor that is larger than normal."

NORAD confirmed that the meteor was not from anything man-made, such as a plane or falling satellite.

Last month, a large meteor crashed into Russia (also on a Friday, because meteors love to party), leaving 950 injured (they party hard), and releasing the equivalent energy of 30 early nuclear bombs.

The AMS received reports of the meteor up the entire east coast, from Florida to Maine. There were no reports that the meteor, which was probably around the size of a softball, made any considerable impact anywhere on the ground.

Brunswick, Georgia police arrested 17-year-old De'Marquise Elkins and a 14-year-old boy, whose name is being withheld due to his age, yesterday in connection with the shooting death of Sherry West's 13-month-old son.

West told authorities that while she was returning from a trip to the post office and pushing baby Antonio in his stroller Thursday morning, two young men—a tall, skinny, teenager, and one who appeared to be around 10-–approached her demanding money. West didn't have any, and she let the teenagers know, telling the Associated Press, "When you have a baby, you spend all your money on babies. They're expensive. And he kept asking and I just said ‘I don't have it.' And he said, ‘Do you want me to kill your baby?' And I said, ‘No, don't kill my baby!"

West reported that the teens wouldn't accept that. In an interview with FOX Affiliate WAWS-TV, she described what happened next: "He says, ‘Well, I'm gonna kill your baby.' I put my arms over my baby and he shoves me. And then he shot my baby right in the head."

Four shots were fired, one of which grazed West's ear while another was fired into her leg, before one of them walked around to the stroller and shot Antonio execution style.

According to West, she was shown 24 mugshots of young men and pointed to one who looked like the gunman, "After I picked him, they said they had him in custody. It looked just like him," somewhat bizarrely adding, "I think we got our man."

Brunswick police chief Tobe Green announced at a news conference Friday afternoon, "We're still following leads from our witnesses. We're still collecting evidence. We're currently serving search warrants at three locations in the city."

Luckily, I've never lost a child (or had one, for that matter), and while I don't think that there is any textbook answer to how one is supposed to react when something like this happens, it's hard for a Bostonian not to hear West's Law & Order-style responses, and note the fact that she is the only eyewitness here, not think of Charles Stuart. In 1989, Stuart fabricated a story about being carjacked by a black man in an Adidas track suit—essentially identifying every black man living in Boston at the time—who shot and killed his pregnant wife and shot him in the stomach following a childbirth class at Brigham and Women's Hospital. Stuart committed suicide just months later after his brother identified him as the shooter (but if you happen to mention Charles Stuart in a Boston townie bar on a Tuesday night, an old man in a Celtics cap will argue with you about whether or not Chuck voluntarily jumped into the Mystic River.)

On the other hand, based on West's story, the police apparently had Elkins in custody before she identified him, and both Elkins and the unidentified teenager have been charged with first-degree murder—implying that (one hopes) they have further evidence that the two teenagers are involved. "We are turning every stone to get a motive," Chief Green told WPTV.

[images via AP]