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The Budapest Train Station Where Refugees Are Trapped, Scammed, and, Sometimes, Helped

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The Budapest Train Station Where Refugees Are Trapped, Scammed, and, Sometimes, Helped

Standing on the platform in Budapest’s Keleti Station after guiding the final group of refugees onto the trains this past Friday evening, Ibrahim Kasem explained the situation to me. A kindergarten teacher originally from Syria himself (he speaks Arabic), Kasem is one of three translators consistently seen on the platform aiding refugees. He acknowledged that the shortage of professional aid was affecting their abilities to help.

“In [this] moment, I will give you help. Tomorrow,” Kasem said, lifting up the unofficial name tag he had drawn himself so that refugees could identify him as a volunteer, “when I coming here, if I don’t put this paper, nobody know me. Nobody know me. It is very, very sad.”

The Budapest Train Station Where Refugees Are Trapped, Scammed, and, Sometimes, Helped

As people flee the violence and war of the Middle East, hoping to reach the European Union, Hungary has become one of their main transit zones. Thousands of refugees terrorized by the Syrian Civil War, the Islamic State, or both, have flooded Hungary, and Budapest in particular. Two weeks ago, the far-right Hungarian government saw an increasing swell of refugees bound for the EU border, and it initiated desperate and draconian tactics to prevent their passage on to Germany, Austria, and the Netherlands. All rail traffic from Budapest’s main terminal, Keleti, was suspended. Budapest, and the thousands of refugees stranded in the city, were thrown into crisis. Protesting the shutdown, masses of refugees began the walk of a little over 100 miles from Budapest to the Austrian border.

And yet, there is hope in Budapest. Train travel has since resumed, and large quantities of supplies, resources, and volunteers have begun to reach the city. Fundraising campaigns have helped purchase thousands of train tickets for those unable to pay. The refugees, though exhausted, praise the help that they are getting in the form of food, blankets, tents, clothing.

“This is the most organized area since we started this journey,” says Louie, a Syrian in his 20s who had been traveling with his father, brother, and cousin for eight days when we spoke in the train station. He was referring to the aid area beyond the train platforms. The space is a semi-open, sunken walkway connecting the rail station to the metro, and it has become the place where many of the refugees gather.

The Budapest Train Station Where Refugees Are Trapped, Scammed, and, Sometimes, Helped

But despite improving conditions, substantial problems persist. The Hungarian government has failed to send any form of tangible assistance: no translators on the platforms, no doctors in the tents, no food supplies. Numerous international aid organizations, such as the United Nations High Commission for Refugees (UNHCR) and UNICEF, may not administer assistance until the Hungarian government requests it, despite their longstanding presence within the country.

So, with few professionals on the ground, the work of helping the refugees has fallen to a collection of volunteers from around the world—from Europe, Pakistan, Saudi Arabia. Donating what time they can, volunteers are determined and increasingly more effective, yet they lack the training and resources to fully handle the unprecedented situation. And along with the volunteers to help, the refugees’ situation here has drawn scammers to prey. To put it simply, Keleti has become a microcosm of the shitshow that has Hungary in crisis.

Though large amounts of supplies appeared throughout Thursday and Friday nights, one organization, an NGO known as Migration Aid, had no way to transport the material to the Serbian-Hungarian border, where Doctors Without Borders recently estimated that 60 percent of their patients are children. One group of volunteers arrived late Thursday evening with a van full of materials, only to be turned away.

“This is like a five-star hotel compared to the Serbian border,” said Usman, the driver of the group, and a Pakistani living in Belfast who asked to go by his first name. (Most of the people I spoke to for this story requested that we only use their first names, either because they feared for their jobs or for their safety. Usman told me that his employer had cautioned his colleagues and him against going near Keleti Station on their work trip.) “So,” he told me, “getting the supplies over here is not good enough because they’re not getting the supplies to the border. They said that it’s best if you guys—as in us—figured it out ourselves, how to get the things from here to the border... And they don’t have transport available, basically.”

Refugees arriving in Keleti are often confused and misinformed. They know nothing about the resources—such as medical attention and access to food and water—being given to them. One man, frail and probably in his 60s or 70s, clutched a sweaty handful of euros as he looked around the area. He asked me where he could buy water; I pointed him to an area with free water just a few feet away. Another Syrian group, traveling with a child whose hand had been shot by Greek police, was unaware that medical aid was being offered in an office less than 30 feet away. Many without money do not know that they can be given train tickets donated by volunteers, and those with the smallest amount saved have been targeted by scammers, Usman said, paying hundreds of euros for train tickets that are worth just ten.

The Budapest Train Station Where Refugees Are Trapped, Scammed, and, Sometimes, Helped

Among volunteers now assisting the largest immigration wave since the Second World War, stories of scammers profiting from the chaos are endless. Jim, who has lived in Budapest for five years, said he had seen a wide range of abuses in the weeks he’s been volunteering at Keleti: “There was a family in the early days—about three weeks ago—that paid 1500 euro [to be smuggled from the Serbian border] and [the smugglers] dumped them in the forest and they took off with the money. Didn’t make any progress at all. Sometimes people come to us and they’ve spent so many thousands of euro and they’ve been fleeced and cheated all the way through this whole process.”

According to John, an American volunteer living in Budapest, on Friday and Saturday nights, an English-speaking Hungarian man appeared near the station, selling false “German Registration Forms.” The man told different groups of refugees that he could expedite their asylum applications for 100 euros. He supposedly approached migrants as they were being dropped off by taxis.

“People arriving from the border,” Usman tells me, “they don’t know anything about this place.” Once they’ve passed over the Serbian border, the vast majority of refugees then walk the some 125 miles by foot to Keleti station, traveling all day and arriving in the middle of the night.

I met Noor Mohammad Shirzad, who had just made the journey with his two cousins. Noor is 18 and from Kunduz, Afghanistan. “To the morning, six o’clock morning to nine o’clock night. Walking. No money, no food. Walking,” he said, adding that border patrols refused to take him to Budapest because he could not pay them. “Police coming just give me one water…So hungry. No food, no bread, no biscuit. Just water, they give.”

Walking home from the station one night, I came across a group of five Syrian men wandering the streets, asking for a bus station. I escorted them to Keleti. One volunteer, leaving work, found a group of Afghan refugees on the streets. They had slept three nights under a bridge in Budapest, with no money left and unsure of where to go.

The situation isn’t much better for those who can afford to stay in Budapest. Recently, local media outlets, refugees, and volunteers have identified at least five hotels in different parts of Budapest working with cab drivers to rob refugees, many of whom have been brought straight from the Serbian-Hungarian border, of what little they have. Volunteers allege that one hotel, known as Hotel Berlin, forces refugees to pay around 350 Euros a night—seven times the normal rate. Guards are placed on each floor, as well as at the lobby to block their exit. Only after they have been divested of everything are they released.

John explained that refugees were paying “200-300 euros per person to take a cab here, so, you know, for a full cab, let’s say, 800 euro. And instead of taking them to Keleti they’re taking them to these hotels. And presumably then they’re not able to leave until they pay.”

He told me he’d “met several people who have lost their families because they’ve gotten in different cabs than the rest of their families. And these people have ended up here but the families who have money with them have disappeared. They got into a cab, they were on their way to Keleti, they never showed.” Some refugees, according to another volunteer working in the same group, show up to Hotel Berlin believing that they will be taken to Germany in a few short days. She told me that some even arrive at the hotel believing they’ve arrived in Germany.

Alarmed by the stories they were hearing, a group of volunteers—John included—ventured out to the hotel. It was located in a secluded area about four miles from the train station, with no businesses or residents nearby; even with a GPS, they had trouble finding the building. “If you go there,” one volunteer told me, “you have to want to go there. You’d have to know where it is. It’s completely hidden.”

“The desk clerk,” John said, “told us that there were three or four rooms that maybe had refugees in them. But when we were there we saw more than a dozen refugees peek out of their rooms. I went up the stairs and every time I got a new floor someone [presumably hotel employees] would open the door and glare at me...as if they were standing guard.” These and other stories of surveillance teams on the property were consistent with the claims of refugees, who said they were prevented from leaving when they made attempts.

The volunteers, John said, intercepted arriving groups and brought them to Keleti instead. “We rescued between 80 to 85 refugees from going there,” he said.

According to multiple sources working at Migration Aid, the manager of the Hotel Berlin recently showed up claiming to offer aid at Keleti. He acknowledged that smugglers were using his hotel but denied any responsibility. He had come, apparently, to complain about the bad press.

As Louie, the Syrian traveling with his family, waited for trains on Thursday, he weighed the decision of seeking out a smuggler. “Not all of our friends get on a train,” he said. “They got some taxis, some cabs. But this is illegal, you see, my friend. This is like human trafficking. They get us through the border, to Germany, to Netherlands. You pay them like 500, 800 euros. This is easiest—it’s the easier way. But I think it’s kind of risky.”

I asked him to elaborate: “The problem is that people [waiting for the trains] are so violent. They pushing each other, they hitting each other. If you stay in the line, if you respect yourself, you won’t get on the train. You have to be violent. You have to push people. You have to be uncivilized. So, this is a big problem.”

Few of the refugees passing through Keleti want to stay in Hungary; their goal is to pass through to other parts of the EU. If you’re cutting northwest from Syria or other parts of the Middle East to Western Europe, Hungary’s geographical position makes it a logical intermediary. Most travel routes bring refugees on an itinerary through Turkey-Greece-Macedonia-Serbia-Hungary and onwards.

Many of the refugees I spoke to told me they were bound for Vienna or Munich, however they can only travel as far as the Austrian border, at which point they must walk for two or three miles and take an Austrian or German-sent bus for another six miles before they can continue on.

But migrants hoping to cross through Budapest move in fear of the Dublin rule, which states that the country the applicant first arrives in is responsible for processing their asylum request. The idea here is that applicants won’t be able to apply in multiple countries, and it has left refugees terrified to register themselves in Serbia (the point of entry for refugees moving northwest) or Hungary. Many seeking asylum attempt to leave either country before they have registered; they are desperate to leave Budapest behind.

“There was a [pregnant] woman here yesterday with contractions three minutes apart,” said Kathleen Leak, a volunteer in the medical center from Yorkshire, England. “[She] discharged herself from the hospital, took painkillers and got on the train because she was too frightened to stay in Hungary and deliver the baby. The border’s two hours away—the baby would have been born on the train…She was just so frightened to deliver here because she thought the police would arrest her.”

Recently, volunteers and refugees alike have been staring down a terrifying deadline. At midnight last night, the hard-right Hungarian government closed its borders to immigrants, and threatened to arrest anyone found to have entered the country illegally. As of last night, thousands of refugees were stranded in Serbia, unable to cross into Hungary, prompting a government minister in Serbia to declare that it will not become a “concentration camp” for the rest of Europe. On Friday, with no resources sent to the camp, the government deployed 3,800 soldiers south to help complete a fence along its border with Serbia.

People flooded into Keleti over the weekend, and the number of refugees crossing the Serbian border were expected to reach into the tens of thousands by Sunday night. “People are ready to die to make it here before the 15th,” one volunteer, Zach, said. But today, Keleti station is very quiet. Volunteers are decamping for the Serbian border, where they will have to figure out how to get supplies to the thousands of refugees left stranded.


Nicholas Cameron is a journalist and writer from Toronto. [Photo via Getty]


New Button Coming

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New Button Coming

Wish there were a “dislike” button? Well, damn—you should have wished for something much better. Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg announced today that a “dislike” button is imminent for Facebook, the terrible social network that you hate.

“I think people have asked about the dislike button for many years,” Zuckerberg said during a Q&A. “Today is a special day because today is the day I can say we’re working on it and shipping it.” Wow. Day day day day say—dislike button. A special day, indeed.

Zuckerberg explained that while in the past Facebook shied away from a “dislike” button essentially because it is rude, he’s found that life is rarely anything but a too-vibrant tableau of pain and suffering, and that Facebook needs to allow users to acknowledge this fact. “What they really want is the ability to express empathy,” he explained. “Not every moment is a good moment.”

It’s true.

Finally, a modern way to mourn.


Image via Facebook. Contact the author at kelly.conaboy@gawker.com.

LaFerrari Asshat Who Terrorized A Beverly Hills Neighborhood Claims 'Diplomatic Immunity'

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LaFerrari Asshat Who Terrorized A Beverly Hills Neighborhood Claims 'Diplomatic Immunity'

You’ve probably seen the viral video where a LaFerrari and a white Porsche 911 GT3 blast through residential streets in Beverly Hills, scraping their bumpers, blowing past stop signs and grenading one of their engines. And you may have wondered, “Where are the cops in all of this?”

http://jalopnik.com/watch-two-assh...

Turns out they’re looking into it, but the owner of the $1.5 million LaFerrari says he can’t be prosecuted in this country.

NBC Los Angeles reports police are looking into the speed incidents that have racked up hundreds of thousands of views on YouTube since they were captured this weekend. The LaFerrari and the GT3 were seen racing through the 700 block of North Walden Drive until the Italian exotic pulled into the driveway of a home with its engine smoking.

From the news story:

Police said they did not see the violations and “could not take any law enforcement action such as a citation or arrest,” according to a news release.

While police were conducting their investigation, they were approached by a man who said the vehicles belonged to him and denied speeding, running stop signs or driving recklessly.

He said he had diplomatic immunity.

Police said they have been in contact with the United States State Department about the diplomatic status of the people involved and the legality of the vehicles driven on the road.

It’s not immediately clear where the cars were from, but other recent YouTube videos indicate the yellow LaFerrari seen around Beverly Hills is from Qatar, and comments on those videos indicate the suspects may be tied to the Qatari Royal Family. The news report does not mention the drivers’ national origin.

Either way, the news report indicates the owner believe themselves to be very much above the law. Here’s what a man claiming to own the cars told the TV station:

Video journalist Jacob Rogers said that a man confronted him when he captured the incident on video.

“He told me verbatim, ‘I could have you killed and get away with it,’” Rogers said. “I told him, ‘the press is allowed to be here on the sidewalk on a public street.’ He said, ‘(Expletive) America’ and threw a cigarette at me.”

The owner should note that diplomatic immunity can be revoked by his home country, although that tends to be rare and only in egregious cases.

Well, LaFerrari guy, you may have diplomatic immunity, but that doesn’t make you immune from being an asshole.

Update: Police officials told Jalopnik that while there are multiple videos of the incident, they do not have a positive identification yet of the LaFerrari driver. They have ID’d the Porsche driver, but his name has not been released and no charges have been filed.

“It’s in the hands of the State Department now,” Police Lt. Lincoln Hoshino said. “Honestly, we don’t even know who was driving the Ferrari. All this driving occurred outside the presence of the police.”

As for the diplomatic immunity claim, Hoshino said: “They can claim diplomatic immunity if they have the proper credentials for that status.” Where the case goes from here is still developing.


Contact the author at patrick@jalopnik.com.

Fox & Friends Calls For Rude Brit Emily Blunt to Leave Hollywood, Let America-Loving Americans Be Movie Stars For Once

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Today three idiots trapped in a box unleashed their indignation on Emily Blunt, a British actress who, despite being “very pretty,” has thus far declined to display the appropriate deference due our great nation, which has given her so much and asked for so little in return.

Blunt’s crime? It was truly audacious—she made a little joke: “I became an American citizen recently and that night we decided to watch the Republican debate, and I thought this was a terrible mistake. What have I done?”

“I’m not sure I’m entirely thrilled about it. People ask me about the whole day. They were like, ‘Oh it must have been so emotional.’ I was like, ‘It wasn’t, it was sad. I like being British.’”

Not one to let an obvious joke slide is Fox & Friends cohost Anna Kooiman, who rather impressively doesn’t laugh, not even once, as she scolds Blunt: “Why don’t you leave Hollywood, California, and let some American women take on the roles that you’re getting, because Americans are watching your movies and lining your pockets.”

Don’t think about it too much, it makes total sense: “She’s been in movies like Devil Wears Prada.”

Anything else the viewers need to know?

“By the way, she lived with Michael Buble in Vancouver and then married John Krasinski,” says Brian Kilmeade—who is not, surprisingly, just out of a coma. He concedes Krasinski “was very good on The Office.”

“You know what Emily Blunt just did? She just Dixie Chicked herself. She has alienated half the country, that now will think twice about going to one of her movies,” Steve Doocy, an employee of Fox News, says out loud.

And there you have it.


H/T Media Matters. Contact the author at gabrielle@gawker.com.

Don't Have Sex With Robots, Say Ethicists

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Don't Have Sex With Robots, Say Ethicists

Robot ethicists have launched the Campaign Against Sex Robots, seeking a ban on the development of robotic sexytimes.

The reality of pleasure bots is fast approaching. Mechanical toys for sexual pleasure already exist, of course, and hardware developers are working to incorporate A.I. into their designs. A company called True Companion claims to be producing “the world’s first sex robot,” Roxxxy, this year. Despite questions of technical readiness and ethics, Roxxxy, priced at $7000, has thousands of pre-orders.

Robot ethicists Kathleen Richardson of De Montfort University and Erik Billing from University of Skövde are the co-creators of the Campaign Against Sex Robots, which seeks to bring awareness to the issue and proposes a robot sex ban. They compare it to similar campaigns that seek to limit development of “killer” robots. Richardson and Billing believe that sex robots will degrade human relationships and reinforce a view of women as sexual objects.

“We think that the creation of such robots will contribute to detrimental relationships between men and women, adults and children, men and men and women and women,” Richardson told the BBC. On the Campaign’s website, these ideas are unpacked further, including:

  • We believe the development of sex robots further objectifies women and children.
  • The development of sex robots and the ideas to support their production show the immense horrors still present in the world of prostitution which is built on the “perceived” inferiority of women and children and therefore justifies their uses as sex objects.
  • We propose that the development of sex robots will further reduce human empathy that can only be developed by an experience of mutual relationship.

The Campaign rejects the argument that the development of sex robots could actually improve the plight of sex workers around the globe, or that there are plenty of lonely people—of any gender—interested in a robot companion for a variety of reasons. Richardson is also against Amnesty International’s call to decriminalize human sex work.

While I do not want to dismiss the ethicists’ concerns or claims entirely—sex bots should be a topic for spirited debate—it seems to me that the Campaign should be focusing more on helping to establish reasonable guidelines moving forward, rather than an outright ban. That ban isn’t going to happen, nor should it. Prohibition is seldom a fix.

We’re moving towards a future of sex with robots whether we like it or not. An outright ban would simply empower a new kind of robot pimp and create an unregulated robot sex black market where anything goes. Why not push for reasonable regulations instead, like ensuring the robots are secure against malware, must look/act of legal age, and establishing legal minimum ages (18+) to use their services?

There’s a puritanical element to the Campaign’s written goals, and despite their stated primary concern for women and children, a sort of sexist edge that assumes few women would be interested in sexual relations with bots. Richardson and Billings spoke to The Washington Post:

Asked whether “male” sex robots might also appeal to consumers, Richardson and Billing said that the majority of sex workers are women — though, for the record, there is a male Real Doll.

“Well, it will probably happen to minor degree,” Billing said of the rise of male sex robots. “There are certainly male prostitutes but not at all to same degree that there are female prostitutes.”

This is, however, brave new uncharted robot sex-land, and these two have clearly never seen Jude Law as a dashing sex mecha in the movie A.I. Nor do they venture into the realms of alternative sexualities or consideration of bodies or relationships that might benefit from a helping robot hand. Despite their focus on a highly advanced future, these ethicists are heavily weighted by the traditions of the past.

It’s impossible to extrapolate exactly what our lives with potential robot sex parters will mean. In the book Love and Sex with Robots, author David Levy suggests the time when human-bot relations are commonplace is fast approaching, and that they will be normalized by 2050.

We need to talk about what robot companions mean and how they will fit into humanity, not condemn them. The Campaign Against Robot Sex feels too much like an anti-porn brigade, blaming the product instead of the culture for wrongs committed. Instead of demonizing what we don’t know, we should be working on proposals to make the forthcoming industry safe—for humans and robots both.

[BBC; Washington Post; Campaign Against Robot Sex]

More Than Half of the United States Is Abnormally Dry or Officially in a Drought

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More Than Half of the United States Is Abnormally Dry or Officially in a Drought

One of the biggest weather stories in recent years is the distinct lack of weather in much of the country—the drought is an ongoing, slow-motion disaster in the western United States, but abnormally dry conditions are starting to spread east. More than half of the United States is suffering from an unusual lack of rainfall, with much of the south and East Coast joining the west in their need for water.

The U.S. Drought Monitor, which runs its analyses every Tuesday and releases the data every Thursday, says that 52.00% of the United States—including Alaska, Hawaii, and Puerto Rico—is suffering from a lack of precipitation and is now abnormally dry or stuck in a drought.

The five-point scale used to measure drought runs from zero to four, with a zero meaning “abnormally dry” and four meaning “exceptional drought.” Experts arrive at these numbers using a scale that takes into account observed precipitation, soil moisture, and river and lake levels, among other indicators.

California and the Rest of the West

More Than Half of the United States Is Abnormally Dry or Officially in a Drought

The entire western United States—save for a couple of pockets in the desert—is in some level of abnormal dryness or in a full-blown drought. The most dire need for rainfall is still out in California, a state that’s been in a severe drought since early 2013 and exceptional drought (the worst level) since early 2014. As of last week’s analysis by the U.S. Drought Monitor, 46% of California is in this worst level of drought, down from 58% this time last year.

However, that 12% reduction in the most serious level of drought is too little too late for water tables, reservoirs, farmers, and the many thousands of people in the path of destructive wildfires that are wiping out entire towns in one night.

The only saving grace at this point is El Niño, which is something that Californians have pinned their hopes to in recent months. Winters with strong El Niños historically see above-average rainfall in parts of California, with drier-than-normal conditions possible in the Pacific Northwest. A constant stream of rain is by no means a guarantee, and even an entire winter full of rain wouldn’t be enough to remedy the drought, any precipitation is good at this point.

In the meantime, some areas have seen beneficial rainfall over the past couple of days. Some parts of Los Angeles saw more than two inches of rain today, breaking several records along the way and becoming the wettest day the city has seen so far this year.

Southern Plains

More Than Half of the United States Is Abnormally Dry or Officially in a Drought

Today’s extensive drought in the southern Plains and the northern Gulf Coast would be magnitudes worse today if it weren’t for the hellacious, flooding rains the region saw this past spring. The intense rainfall—many spots saw several feet in just a few months—downright murdered the region’s growing drought, taking most regions from an exceptional drought to normal in just a couple of weeks.

Three months ago, a whopping 92% of Texas was drought-free, flush with water for the time being. In the season since, that number has slipped to 52%, but it’s still nowhere near as bad as it was before this spring, and certainly not the disaster it was just a couple of years ago.

For all of the problems the rainfall caused, it kept the region from going into a much deeper and much more severe situation this summer. The surplus of liquid sunshine allowed states like Texas, Oklahoma, Louisiana, and Arkansas to weather this dry, hot summer without slipping too far down the chasm.

Over the past 90 days, rainfall deficits have ranged from eight to ten inches below normal on the northern Gulf Coast—around Mobile and Pensacola—to just a few inches below normal in the heart of Texas.

East Coast

A significant portion of the Carolinas slipped into a drought this summer, with the center of South Carolina taking the hardest hit. The extreme lack of precipitation this year is likely due to the back-to-back(-to-back...) heat waves that plagued this part of the country for the duration of the summer.

Average temperatures were consistently above average, with sweltering high temperatures and stifling lows that didn’t offer much relief from the heat. Florence, South Carolina—the first notable city you hit going south on I-95—is in the severe drought range, and they fell just short of tying the record for the most consecutive 97°F days ever recorded this year. The city saw a high of 97°F or higher for fourteen days between June 13 and June 26, and they’ve seen nine days so far this year with highs at or above 100°F.

It’s not just the Carolinas wondering when things will return to normal. There are scattered patches of dryness and drought throughout the region from Maine to Florida, with the worst drought occurring in southeastern Florida. The drought in far southern Florida has somewhat improved over the past couple of weeks, but it’s still considered a severe drought.

Precipitation Outlook

More Than Half of the United States Is Abnormally Dry or Officially in a Drought

The Climate Prediction Center, which issues long-term outlooks, expects a precipitation pattern very similar to what one would expect during an El Niño as we approach winter.

The agency’s latest three-month outlook, covering September, October, and November, calls for increased odds of above-average precipitation from southern California through the central Plains, with a bullseye focused on Arizona, a result of increased moisture flowing north from the tropical Pacific. The outlook also calls for higher odds of below-normal precipitation in the northern United States near the Canadian border, another common feature one would expect as a result of an atmosphere influenced by El Niño.

[Map: author | Images: AP]


Email: dennis.mersereau@gawker.com | Twitter: @wxdam

If you enjoy The Vane, then you’ll love my upcoming book, The Extreme Weather Survival Manual, which comes out on October 6 and is now available for pre-order on Amazon.

NYPD Union President: Non-Cops "Are Not Qualified" to Judge the Actions of Police

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NYPD Union President: Non-Cops "Are Not Qualified" to Judge the Actions of Police

Responding to widespread condemnation of the NYPD officer who wrongly tackled tennis star James Blake last week, Patrolmen’s Benevolent Association President Patrick Lynch sent a blistering letter to reporters on Tuesday characterizing their criticism as “irresponsible, unjust and un-American.”

http://gawker.com/security-foota...

“If you have never struggled with someone who is resisting arrest or who pulled a gun or knife on you when you approached them for breaking a law,” Lynch opens his letter, “then you are not qualified to judge the actions of police officers putting themselves in harm’s way for the public good.”

Addressed to “all arm-chair judges,” Lynch’s letter denounces “knee-jerk” reactions and states “no one should ever jump to an uninformed conclusion”—referring, of course, to critics who have seen footage of the incident and not to the officer who tackled and handcuffed the wrong guy.

To recap, here are the people not qualified to judge the actions of police, according to Patrolmen’s Benevolent Association President Patrick Lynch:

  • Writers
  • Pundits
  • Police brutality victims
  • Prosecutors
  • Jurors
  • Judges
  • Anyone who has “never struggled with someone who is resisting arrest.”

And here are the people he believes are qualified to judge the actions of police:

  • Law enforcement officers
  • Former law enforcement officers

Okay, seems reasonable enough.

http://gawker.com/nypd-union-pre...

[Image via AP Images]

At Least 16 Dead, Four Missing After Flash Floods Sweep Through Southern Utah

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At Least 16 Dead, Four Missing After Flash Floods Sweep Through Southern Utah

At least 16 people, including nine children, were killed this week when flash flooding struck Zion National Park and a Utah border town best known as the headquarters of a fundamentalist Mormon sect.

12 of the victims were reportedly returning from a day trip to their homes in Hildale, Utah on Monday when a wall of water and debris suddenly appeared behind them, sweeping their vehicles away. From CNN:

“It came onto the street behind them and washed them into the ravine, and the dropoff there is 20, 30 feet. So the witnesses say the vehicles were just gone,” [Hildale Mayor Philip Barlow] said.

The rush of water was so intense it washed the two vehicles hundreds of yards downstream, and one vehicle was found a quarter mile away, in the creek, the mayor added.

Officials say three children survived the incident and one person is still missing.

On Tuesday, the bodies of four hikers were found in nearby Zion National Park after it too was hit by flash floods, the Associated Press reports. A park spokesperson said three more hikers remain missing.

[Image via AP Images]


Grill Beef: Kentucky Man Arrested Over Alleged Hot Brisket Attack at BBQ Fest

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Grill Beef: Kentucky Man Arrested Over Alleged Hot Brisket Attack at BBQ Fest

A barbecue cook was charged with second-degree wanton endangerment this weekend for allegedly throwing a piece of hot brisket at another cook, burning her face, neck and shoulders, WKYT reports.

Police say they were called to the Kentucky Barbecue Festival on Sunday after a dispute over “hogging the grill” erupted between two pitmasters using a shared cooker. From The Advocate-Messenger:

Once there, they learned Mary Berry, 35, of Bardstown was working the festival for Fire House BBQ from DeLanda, Florida, when she was hit by a brisket thrown by Mike Owings, 42, of Cunningham, Kentucky, who was working for Drapers BBQ.

According to Danville police, Owings admitted to officers that he threw the brisket after losing his temper but “didn’t mean for anyone to get hurt.”

“His words were that he just snapped and he was upset and took it off the cooker and threw it because they wanted them off there,” Danville Police Sgt. Jonathan Courtwright told WLEX. “He threw it in that direction, not aiming to hit her, but she ended up getting hit.”

Police say they were not able to recover the weapon, but estimated it to be more than 200 degrees at the time of impact.

“I’m guessing it was smoking,” said Courtwright. “It was gone, by the time we got there.”

[Image via Boyle County Detention Center]

Hungry Bear Cub Breaks Into Pizza Joint, Eats "All The Icing"

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Hungry Bear Cub Breaks Into Pizza Joint, Eats "All The Icing"

This week, a hungry little bear cub snuck into a Colorado Springs pizza parlor, climbing shelves and eating icing and oil before finally taking a nap, NBC News reports.

Louie’s Pizza owner Louie Sciarotta said a “horde” of high school students had just left his restaurant when the bear was discovered in a back room Monday afternoon. From the Colorado Springs Gazette:

The animal entered through an open door, walked past the restrooms and found its way into the pizzeria’s prep room. There he ate some icing used in Louie’s cini-bread and curled up on the second shelf of a storage rack.

One of the employees, Sawyer Janney, said he was startled when all the commotion began, not by the bear but by a co-worker.

“He just yells ‘bear’ and runs outside,” Janney said.

“We asked what was up and they said there was a bear in there and it was eating all the icing,” a patron told KOAA. “He was soft and he had icing all over him. He was eating all the icing.”

Hungry Bear Cub Breaks Into Pizza Joint, Eats "All The Icing"

By the time wildlife officers arrived, the hungry bear had become a sleepy bear.

“I walked back there and the bear was asleep right there on top of the icing,” District Wildlife Manager Phillip Gurule told KKTV. “Looks like she had a little bit to eat.”

Hungry Bear Cub Breaks Into Pizza Joint, Eats "All The Icing"

Officials with Colorado Parks and Wildlife say the underweight bear cub will be taken to a rehabilitation facility for recovery and then released into the wild.

[Images via Colorado Spring Police Department]

Jeb Bush's New Video About America Was Shot in England

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Jeb Bush’s Super PAC, Right to Rise, premiered a new campaign ad this week denouncing Donald Trump and touting America’s bright new future. What a commercial, what a country—if there were a voting booth on my desk, I’d pull the lever right now. Only one problem: Jeb Bush’s “America” is really comprised of about $100 worth of B-roll, shot in Asia and the UK.

Is Bush’s Super PAC really so cynical it doesn’t even check to see if its commercial was shot in the right country? Yes, apparently. The breakdown, via The Politico:

The only problem: The sun is rising over a field in Cornwall, England — a clip available for between $19 and $79 on Shutterstock.

The video also shows a clip of the silhouette of a construction worker with text on the screen that says “America is great” — stock footage that was taken from “a multiple story building in Southeast Asia,” according to the website Pond5. The HD version of the clip costs $35.

And the kids heading off to school? You can download them from iStock with a subscription. According to iStock, the clip was shot by a firm called MonkeyBusiness, based out of the United Kingdom.

It’s almost like these presidential campaigns are little more than elaborate marketing rollouts concerned with “optics” rather than “issues”... But who cares, I guess—not Jeb Bush’s Super PAC.

http://gawker.com/donald-trump-b...


Contact the author at gabrielle@gawker.com.

7 Kids Not Named Mohamed Who Brought Homemade Clocks to School And Didn't Get Arrested

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7 Kids Not Named Mohamed Who Brought Homemade Clocks to School And Didn't Get Arrested

Hoping to impress the teachers at his new school, an Irving, Texas, high school freshman named Ahmed Mohamed brought a homemade clock with him to MacArthur High Monday morning, which he’d assembled before bed the night before. When he showed it to those teachers, though, they were something other than impressed, and by Monday afternoon, Mohamed was being led out of school in handcuffs. Ahmed’s English teacher believed the device was a bomb.

http://gawker.com/texas-high-sch...

Why? Could it have something to do with Ahmed Mohamed’s name, or the color of his skin? His father thinks so. “He just wants to invent good things for mankind,” Mohamed Elhassan Mohamed told the Dallas Morning News. “But because his name is Mohamed and because of Sept. 11, I think my son got mistreated.”

Mohamed’s father might be right. Below are seven students, not named Mohamed, who got off scot-free for the heinous crime of DIY timekeeping, plus a bonus kid who brought an actual inert bomb to school and wasn’t suspended. (Mohamed got three days.)

Peter Mathis of Wilmington, North Carolina

Another student who likes clocks made a clock of his own. Peter Mattis of Gregory elementary wanted to make a clock more complex than a sundial, so he made his own liquid clock.

The clock drips green fluid into a container to mark the hour. And while Peter doesn’t use the clock to tell time at home because it tells time by hours instead of minutes, he can think of one situation where the clock would come in handy: a hurricane.

Wilmington Morning Star, March 10, 1999

Haley Zinke and Tasha Williams of Turtle Lake, North Dakota

Haley Zinke and Tasha Williams researched whether or not water clocks kept accurate time. They built their own clock for the project and demonstration.

McLean County Journal, May 22, 2014

Logan Weimer of Holland, Ohio

During the Holloway Elementary School science fair last week, kids crowded around Logan’s exhibit as he explained how he used veggie power to keep track of time.

“I tried to get an alarm clock to come on with no batteries,” Logan explained, pointing to copper wires and chunks of potato and lemons. Citric acid in the lemon kept the clock working for hours, but the potato “spuddered” out rather quickly.

However, he said he was really happy with his experiment because “if the power goes out, I will get to school on time.”

Toledo Blade, March 22, 2007

Indy Brumbraugh and Cesar Limas of Dade City, Florida

Indy Brumbraugh and Cesar Limas also worked together on their “Clock-o-matic,” an alarm clock that squirts water on those not-so-early risers.

“I wake up late and my mom and dad wake up late, so I was thinking of an idea to wake them up early,” Cesar said.

St. Petersburg Times, December 15, 1999

Tori Clark of Ellis, Kansas

“I didn’t know anything about building,” said senior Tori Clark, the only girl in the class of 14. “I built a clock in (Carroll’s) industrial tech class last year, and he’s a good teacher so I decided to try this.”

It was a good decision, Clark said.

“My dad said he wishes he would have had something like this when he was in school,” she said.

Hays Daily News, December 5, 2010

Plus, here’s an anonymous kid in Kiowa, Colorado who brought an actual inert bomb and wasn’t suspended (his teacher was)

A high school student’s science project was meant to demonstrate how heat is involved in transferring energy. But because the project was an inert bomb, the student and his teacher are taking some heat of their own.

The bomb, made with fertilizer and diesel in a test tube, was displayed last week at a science fair with traditional experiments when an anonymous caller alerted the authorities. The bomb was made with the approval of the 17-year-old student’s teacher.

...

The student, whose name officials refused to release, remains in school and will not be disciplined by the school, because he had his teacher’s approval for the project.

New York Times, January 18, 2002

If you or your child ever brought a homemade clock to school and somehow escaped arrest, feel free to share your story below.

Image via h080/Flickr. Contact the author at andy@gawker.com.

Brad Pitt Spends $385,000 to Ride Around Town Like a Sexy Nazi

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Brad Pitt Spends $385,000 to Ride Around Town Like a Sexy Nazi

Brad Pitt, an actor who is apparently obsessed with World War II in both his personal and professional life, now gets to live the Nazi dream on a $385,000 Nazi-era motorcycle.

Now I’m not suggesting Brad Pitt likes to make a little shoe polish mustache and goose step around the house—how could I?—we’ve never met and I don’t mind admitting to you that I have no idea what acclaimed actor Brad Pitt does in his spare time—but let’s say if he did, this three-wheeled Nazi bike would be a great accoutrement.

Brad Pitt, dressed up as a Nazi, will no longer have to make vroom vroom noises with his mouth—if in fact he’s ever done that—though who’s to say he hasn’t, honestly? Angelina Jolie, I guess, and she’s not saying anything.

In the meantime, we’ve put out a request to Pitt’s publicist to determine whether he ever has, in fact, inquired of his many children, Do you have your papers? in a reedy German accent before allowing them to enter the formal dining room—and we will update as we hear back.

Auf wiedersehen!


Contact the author at gabrielle@gawker.com.

Kate Bush's Hounds of Love Songs, Ranked

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Kate Bush's Hounds of Love Songs, Ranked

Thirty years ago today, one of the finest (and wildest) pop albums of all time was released. Kate Bush’s Hounds of Love is almost perfect (for true perfection, see the Kate Bush album that preceded it, 1982’s The Dreaming) and sounds as forward-thinking as it did on September 16, 1985 (granted, it could use a remastering). Bush performed the bulk of the album, including its entire Side B suite, The Ninth Wave, during her Before the Dawn residency at London’s Hammersmith Apollo last year. Below are its songs ranked, though it should be noted that every song in the Top 10 is within grasp of the others. This album is that good.

12. “The Big Sky”

11. “Mother Stands for Comfort”

10. “Waking the Witch”

9. “Hello Earth”

8. “Under Ice”

7. “The Morning Fog”

6. “Watching You Without Me”

5. “Jig of Life”

4. “Hounds of Love”

3. “Cloudbusting”

2. “And Dream of Sheep”

1. “Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God)”

The Arrest of a 14-Year-Old For Making a Clock Is the End Result of a Decade of Anti-Muslim Fearmongering

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The Arrest of a 14-Year-Old For Making a Clock Is the End Result of a Decade of Anti-Muslim Fearmongering

There are sprawling industries and self-proclaimed career “terrorism experts” in the U.S. that profit greatly by deliberately exaggerating the threat of Terrorism and keeping Americans in a state of abject fear of “radical Islam.” There are all sorts of polemicists who build their public platforms by demonizing Muslims and scoffing at concerns over “Islamaphobia,” with the most toxic ones insisting that such a thing does not even exist, even as the mere presence of mosques is opposed across the country, or even as they are physically attacked.

[Read more by Glenn Greenwald at The Intercept]

The U.S. government just formally renewed the “State of Emergency” it declared in the aftermath of 9/11 for the 14th time since that attack occurred, ensuring that the country remains in a state of permanent, endless war, subjected to powers that are still classified as “extraordinary” even though they have become entirely normalized. As a result of all of this, a minority group of close to 3 million people is routinely targeted with bigotry and legal persecution in the Home of the Free, while fear and hysteria reign supreme in the Land of the Brave.

What happened in Irving, Texas, yesterday to a 14-year-old Muslim high school freshman is far from the worst instance, but it is highly illustrative of the rotted fruit of this sustained climate of cultivated fear and demonization. The Dallas Morning News reports that “Ahmed Mohamed — who makes his own radios and repairs his own go-kart — hoped to impress his teachers when he brought a homemade clock to MacArthur High,” but “instead, the school phoned police.”

Despite insisting that he made the clock to impress his engineering teacher, consistent with his long-time interest in “inventing stuff,” Ahmed wasarrested by the police and led out of school with his hands cuffed behind him. When he was brought into the room to be questioned by the four police officers who had been dispatched to the school, one of them — who had never previously seen him — said: “Yup. That’s who I thought it was.” As a result, he “felt suddenly conscious of his brown skin and his name — one of the most common in the Muslim religion.”

On Twitter, Anil Dash published a photo, provided by the boy’s family, taken as he was led out in cuffs. Note that he’s wearing a NASA shirt:

There’s absolutely no evidence that this was anything more than a clock, nor any indication of any kind that the talented and inventive freshman built it as anything other than a school project. But even now, “police say they may yet charge him with making a hoax bomb — though they acknowledge he told everyone who would listen that it’s a clock.” According to the BBC, “police spokesman James McLellan said that, throughout the interview, Ahmed had maintained that he built only a clock, but said the boy was unable to give a ‘broader explanation’ as to what it would be used for.”

The Dallas Morning News let Ahmed speak for himself by posting a video of him recounting what happened. Behold the Terrorist Mastermind:

The behavior here is nothing short of demented. And it’s easy to mock, which in turn has the effect of belittling it and casting it as some sort of bizarre aberration. But it’s not that. It’s the opposite of aberrational. It’s the natural, inevitable byproduct of the culture of fear and demonization that has festered and been continuously inflamed for many years. The circumstances that led to this are systemic and cultural, not aberrational.

The mayor of Irving, Beth Van Duyne, became a beloved national hero to America’s anti-Muslim fanatics when, last February, she seized on a fraudulent online chain letter, which claimed that area imams had created a special court based on sharia law. In response, Mayor Van Duyne posted a Facebook rant in which she vowed to “fight with every fiber of my being” the nonexistent “sharia court.” One anti-Muslim website gushed that Irving “is being called ‘ground zero’ in the battle to prevent Islamic law from gaining a foothold, no matter how small, in the U.S. legal system” and hailed her as “the mayor who stood up to the Muslim Brotherhood.”

That led to support for a bill introduced in the Texas State Legislature banning the use of foreign law, which its sponsor made clear was targeted at least in part at these “sharia courts.” The Irving City Council went out of its way to enact a resolution supporting the state bill. It was enacted in June. One of the City Council members who opposed the bill — William “Bill” Mahone, who “denounced the vote and urged Irving to ’embrace the Muslims’” — then lost his seat in the city election “by a wide margin.” I’ve spoken to Muslim groups in Irving and there is a small but thriving community there, which in turn has produced intense anti-Muslim animus.

Just like Ahmed’s arrest, Irving is representative of the U.S. broadly, not aberrational. The U.S. just a few years ago went into a shameful fit of mass hysteria over a proposed Islamic community center near Ground Zero — as though Muslims generally were guilty of that attack — but since then, in obscurity, ordinary mosques have faced all sorts of opposition from their mere existence, or once they do exist, physical menacing and violence. A 2014 Pew Poll found that Americans feel more negatively toward Muslims than any other religious group in the country.

There are all sorts of obvious, extreme harms that come from being a nation at permanent war. Your country ends up killing huge numbers of innocent people all over the world. Vast resources are drained away from individuals and programs of social good into the pockets of weapons manufacturers. Core freedoms are inexorably and inevitably eroded — seized — in its name. The groups being targeted are marginalized and demonized in order to maximize fear levels and tolerance for violence.

But perhaps the worst of all harms is how endless war degrades the culture and populace of the country that perpetrates it. You can’t have a government that has spent decades waging various forms of war against predominantly Muslim countries — bombing seven of them in the last six years alone — and then act surprised when a Muslim 14-year-old triggers vindictive fear and persecution because he makes a clock for school. That’s no more surprising than watching carrots sprout after you plant carrot seeds in fertile ground and then carefully water them. It’s natural and inevitable, not surprising or at all difficult to understand.

This piece was originally published at The Intercept
Screenshot via Dallas Morning News


Today's Best Deals: Travel Router, Yonanas, Fossil Sale, and More

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Today's Best Deals: Travel Router, Yonanas, Fossil Sale, and More

Here are the best of today’s deals. Get every great deal every day on Kinja Deals, follow us on Facebook and Twitter to never miss a deal, join us on Kinja Gear to read about great products, and on Kinja Co-Op to help us find the best.


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Top Deals


Today's Best Deals: Travel Router, Yonanas, Fossil Sale, and More

Update: Sold out

If you travel with any regularity, this versatile little gadget may just be your new best friend. At first glance, it looks like any other USB battery pack, but it’s actually three gadgets in one:

  • Travel Router: Turn any ethernet jack you find into a Wi-Fi hotspot, which can still come in handy at certain hotels and conventions.
  • 5,200mAh USB Battery Pack: Keep your phone and tablet charged during a long day away from any power outlets.
  • File Hub: Transfer files and wirelessly stream content from a microSD card, hard drive, or flash drive to all of your devices. Imagine loading a cheap flash card up with movies for a long trip, instead of, say, buying a more expensive iPad with extra local storage.

Today on Amazon, you can knock over 50% off the price of the gadget with promo code 43YVKGJV. We’ve seen similar items in the past, but never for this cheap. [LOFTEK MW2-21 Multi-functional 3-in-1 Wireless Router, $15 with code 43YVKGJV]

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EC62AOC/


Yonanas might have a stupid name, but the ice cream-like fruit desserts that is spits out are delicious, and Best Buy has marked it down to just $32 today. Fruit not included. [Healthy Foods Yonanas Dessert Maker, $32]

http://gizmodo.com/5960692/yonana...

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Today's Best Deals: Travel Router, Yonanas, Fossil Sale, and More

I know that nobody needs electric salt and pepper grinders, but for $12, why not? [VonShef 2 x Electronic Salt & Pepper Mill Grinder - Stainless Steel, $12]

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Today's Best Deals: Travel Router, Yonanas, Fossil Sale, and More

Today only, Amazon’s taking 50% or more off dozens of watches, wallets, bags, and more from Fossil as part of a Gold Box Deal. These prices will return to normal at the end of the day though, and some of the most popular items could sell out early. [50% or More Off Fossil Watches, Bags, Wallets, More]

More Apparel Deals

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Today's Best Deals: Travel Router, Yonanas, Fossil Sale, and More

You guys buy boatloads of IR thermometers whenever we post a deal, and it’s easy to see why. They’re a ton of fun to mess around with, and can come in handy for everything from cooking to home energy savings.

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If you still don’t own one, you can rectify that for just $12 today! [Etekcity Lasergrip 774 Non-contact Digital Laser IR Infrared Thermometer Temperature Gun, $12 with code TGTHME5F]

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Today's Best Deals: Travel Router, Yonanas, Fossil Sale, and More

Anyone who thinks vacuuming is the best chore is dead wrong. If you agree, delegate it to this high-end Roomba 790 for $390, an all-time low price, and $100-$200 off its usual price range.

The iRobot Roomba 790 features dual HEPA filters to trap dust and allergens, and is designed with pet hair in mind. Plus, its included wireless command center lets you give it commands from anywhere in the house. Most importantly though, pets and babies can ride on top, resulting in hilarious gifs. [iRobot Roomba 790 For Pets and Animals, $390]

http://www.ebay.com/itm/3014229913...


Today's Best Deals: Travel Router, Yonanas, Fossil Sale, and More

Amazon has been offering $50 in bonus credit with the purchase of an Xbox One Gears of War bundle for the past week or so, but if you want extra onboard storage, or just enjoy football, they just extended the same offer to the 1TB Madden 16 bundle. [Xbox One 1TB Madden 16 Bundle + $50 Amazon Credit, $400]

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Today's Best Deals: Travel Router, Yonanas, Fossil Sale, and More

Today only, Best Buy is offering the complete series of Friends on Blu-ray for $75, the lowest price we’ve ever seen. [Friends: The Complete Series Collection, $75]

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If you prefer DVD for some reason, that set is down to $65 as well. [Friends: The Complete Series Collection [DVD], $65]


Today's Best Deals: Travel Router, Yonanas, Fossil Sale, and More

If you’ve somehow managed to avoid XCOM: Enemy Unknown and Enemy Within all these years, Amazon’s selling the complete edition for just $10 today. [XCOM Enemy Unknown: The Complete Edition, $10]


Today's Best Deals: Travel Router, Yonanas, Fossil Sale, and More

Admittedly, this Battlefront bundle isn’t a deal, but it’s almost certain to sell out quickly. [Preorder Star Wars Battlefront Deluxe Edition with Han Solo Fridge, $130]

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Want Bluetooth audio and handsfree calling in your older car? This dongle takes the Bluetooth signal from your phone, and retransmits it to the FM radio station of your choice. The sound quality will take a hit, but if you don’t have an AUX jack, this is probably your best option short of buying an entirely new stereo. [GOgroove FlexSMART Bluetooth FM Transmitter, $35 with code FLXDEAL1]

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The original Sony RX100 has had three sequels since release, but it’s still the camera that singlehandedly made point and shoots relevant again. Considering its most recent incarnation, the RX100-IV clocks in at $950, $319 for the original model is a great price for anyone who wants to take great photos without fiddling with lenses. [Sony RX100, $319]

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If only the best will do, GoPro’s Hero4 Black action cam is a $120 off today at eBay, which is the best deal we’ve ever seen. [GoPro Hero4 Black, $380]

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This is the best action camera on the market.

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Today's Best Deals: Travel Router, Yonanas, Fossil Sale, and More

There are more powerful car chargers out there, and options with more USB ports, but if your primary concern is finding one with as low a profile as possible, you won’t do better than this $6 option from Aukey. It’s so small, it’ll look like it’s built into your car. [Aukey 24W/2-Port USB Car Charger, $6 with code J57C7L93]

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One of the only downsides of cast iron pans is that they can be a nightmare to clean, but this chainmail scrubber claims to scrape away caked-on food without hurting your seasoning, and its 4.7 star review average seems to back that up.[Hudson Cast Iron Cleaner XL 7x7 Premium Stainless Steel Chainmail Scrubber, $14]


Tech


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Send deal submissions to Deals@Gawker and all other inquiries to Shane@Gawker

Leonardo DiCaprio Keeps up With the Kardashians

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Leonardo DiCaprio Keeps up With the Kardashians

Leonardo DiCaprio, actor and founding member of the Pussy Posse, is in town for fashion week or for another reason, and guess what—he’s partying.

Page Six reports that on Monday night, DiCaprio attended a Galore magazine party at Up&Down in the West Village. “Ugh, I wish this party were at one of the 1Oaks, my favorite clubs owned by my friend Richie Akiva,” he probably thought. “Ugh, I wish fellow Pussy Posse member Kevin Connolly were here.” Sadly, it wasn’t and he wasn’t. (As far as I know.)

The party was in honor of Kylie Jenner, who appears on Galore magazine’s cover this month, and she had her sisters Kendall, Khloé, and Kourtney in tow. You’re probably thinking that, wow, it sounds like a real episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, and guess what, idiot: it was. Who’s the smart guy, now, huh? You? Yes! You got it right.

They were filming an episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, as it turns out. Leonardo DiCaprio watched them film it, allegedly, and then another person, who later spoke to Page Six, watched him watch it. This is what that person said:

“Watching DiCaprio watching the Kardashians film their show from across the room was pretty entertaining.”

Huh. Very interesting that this person thinks we care that he or she was entertained without providing any detail about what exactly was entertaining, but nevertheless, Page Six also tells us that Tyga was there, as were “DJ and designer Vashtie,” Michelle Rodriguez, and “Micah Jesse.”

Though Kylie is the Kardashian whose photo was on the magazine cover, Kendall is the Karashian who is a model, so that brings our model percentage to a devastating:

12.5%

Damn. Leo, come on.


Image via Getty. Contact the author at kelly.conaboy@gawker.com.

“Dear Sir, I am sorry to have to inform you that I do not believe in the Bible as a divine revelatio

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“Dear Sir, I am sorry to have to inform you that I do not believe in the Bible as a divine revelation & therefore not in Jesus Christ as the son of God. Yours faithfully. Ch. Darwin

Murderer Finally Lured Down From Prison Roof With Pizza and a Coke

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Murderer Finally Lured Down From Prison Roof With Pizza and a Coke

Stuart Horner, the convicted murderer who protested conditions at Manchester, England’s Strangeways prison by climbing onto its roof and remaining there for more than 60 hours, has finally come down. He said he’d agreed to end the standoff in exchange for pizza and pop.

http://gawker.com/there-is-curre...

“I’ve proved my point,” he shouted, before descending from the roof in a cherry picker around 3 a..m Wednesday morning, “I’ve got a 12 inch pizza and a can of Coke.”

“I’ve done what I wanted. I’ve had a mad one,” he said, according to the Manchester Evening News, whose rotating team of reporters had covered the standoff round-the-clock for three days.

It’s a peaceful and perfectly satisfying conclusion to what could have been a riot—the last rooftop protest at Strangeways, in 1990, ended with police rushing prisoners. Two people were killed.

Horner’s protest was a different thing entirely, with his supporters throwing a party just outside prison grounds, complete with a DJ. At one point, Horner was seen dancing to the Thong Song.

http://gawker.com/murderer-still...

Horner brought attention to the plight of his fellow prisoners, he might possibly get pizza and a Coke, and this time, no one died.

Except Stuart Horner’s uncle, whom he was convicted of murdering in 2012. Horner is currently serving out a 27-year sentence.

Go on, Stuart.

[Video: Sky News]

This Is the Best Kardashian Video, Because it Is the Realest

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This Is the Best Kardashian Video, Because it Is the Realest

The Kardashians are the most omnipresent family in America, but that also requires them to be the most manufactured. Their reality television show is revealing, but it is of course controlled by them as well. Their insanely popular apps are a mirage.

For being some of the most famous people on earth, the Kardashians are unnaturally good at controlling the flow of information that filters through media and onto us. Rob Kardashian did not really disappear, but the celebrity press is indebted to the Kardashians and thus had to play along as if he did.

All of this is to say that video like the clip below is rare and gripping. Shot by Complex Style news editor Karizza Sanchez (see update below), it shows Kim and North goofing off before heading to Kanye West’s showing at Fashion Week. The interaction, though inherently performative, is plainly sweet and normal, which makes the actual reality that follows it—the two stepping into a gaping maw of flashbulbs and chattering—feel like being dropped into cold water.

UPDATE (6:30 p.m) Turns out this video is from Kim’s app, which, uh, complicates my thesis slightly! In any event, good video.


Contact the author at jordan@gawker.com.

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