When Terry Jones burned a copy of the Quran outside of his Gainesville, Florida, church in 2011, Mohamed Elhassan Mohamed didn’t riot, like some outraged Muslims did in the Arab world, or protest peacefully, like many fellow followers of Islam did elsewhere. He didn’t even stay home, turn off the TV, and try to ignore Jones’ provocations. Mohamed was there, standing with Jones at the pastor’s Dove World Outreach Center, just before Jones burned the book.

Not that Mohamed supported what the infamously anti-Islam pastor was doing. Before the Quran-burning, Jones held a surreal “mock trial” in front of his tiny congregation, holding the holy book to task for its supposed crimes against humanity. Mohamed was present as the Quran’s “defense attorney,” arguing passionately that it was not the evil tome Jones claimed. Jones, of course, ultimately found the Quran guilty, and Mohamed and his family quickly left the church so as not to witness the fire.

Mohamed knew that participating in the mock trial would anger some in the Muslim community, but he believed that it was important to engage people and ideas outside of his religion, even if some of those people, like Jones, hated his religion violently. “From my heart, I feel very OK. But I have some people who don’t like that from my Muslim brothers. I see their faces, they don’t want me to go and talk,” Mohamed told the Dallas Observer at the time. “But this is my opinion. I’m not living in Sudan, or Saudi Arabia. I’m living in a free land.” The imam even claimed to admire his counterpart Jones, for allowing him to defend the Quran within the context of Sufism, the mystical school of Islamic thought to which Mohamed adheres.

Four years later, Mohamed Elhassan Mohamed picked up his son Ahmed at a juvenile detention center in Irving, Texas, where the Mohamed family lives, after Ahmed was taken there in handcuffs from his high school for bringing in a homemade clock he’d built to impress his teachers. Ahmed’s English teacher believed the clock was a bomb and called the police. Considering that this is the same Irving, Texas, whose mayor, Beth Van Duyne, made headlines this spring and summer for claiming that Muslims in the city were attempting to impose Sharia law and overthrow the courts system, it seems extremely likely that Ahmed is another victim of rampant American Islamophobia.

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Anti-Islamism is a pernicious force in all its manifestations, but there’s a particularly cruel irony to Ahmed Mohamed’s case. Even if only to save face from being labeled full-on bigots, the Beth Van Duynes of the world will usually concede that not all Muslims are terrorists and murderers—just the radicals, the burqa-wearers, the weird ones. If they’d just start wearing normal clothes and start eating bacon on their McDonald’s cheeseburgers—if they’d renounce and abandon the traditions that make them appear uncomfortably alien to white Protestant Americans—no one would really wouldn’t mind them at all, these people insist. (Terry Jones, who symbolically executed the entire religion for its transgressions, is a special case of hate.)

From what we know about Ahmed Mohamed and his family, they seem to perfectly fit this narrow-minded view of Muslim acceptability. Ahmed’s father came to meet with Jones—a man who sits on al Qaeda’s “most-wanted” kill list—not to execute him in the name of Islam, or even to denounce him, but to engage in peaceable dialogue. (Mohamed Elhassen also had another reason for making the trip to Florida: He wanted to take his family to Disney World.)

Elhassen came to the United States from Sudan in the 1980s, only to find that his philosophy degree wasn’t worth the paper it was printed on. So, according to the North Dallas Gazette, he sold hot dogs and magazines in New York, and then moved to Texas and drove cabs. Then he started a cab company. Then he sold the cab company and started two more companies.

In his NASA t-shirt, Elhassen’s son Ahmed proudly and patriotically displayed the emblem of a U.S government agency on his chest on the day of his detainment. He packed his homemade clock on Monday morning not to frighten anyone, but to impress his teachers and inquire about extracurricular activities like the robotics club he enjoyed in middle school. The kid embodies all the high-achieving qualities we regularly hear that today’s American school children lack. He might as well have been carrying a slice of apple pie and a Steve Jobs biography in his backpack.

Western pundits have often lauded Sufism, the aspect of Islam that Elhassan Mohamed follows, for its potential to defuse radical Islamism—the kind that would lead a follower to, say, bring a bomb to school. Unlike Salafi fundamentalists, who base their beliefs on strict literal interpretations of the Quran, Sufis are “egalitarian, charitable and friendly,” Ishaan Tharoor wrote for Time in 2009.

He continued:

Some analysts think that historical legacy can still be exploited. A 2007 report by the Rand Corp., a U.S. think tank, advised Western governments to “harness” Sufism, saying its adherents were “natural allies of the West.” Along similar lines, the Algerian government announced in July that it would promote the nation’s Sufi heritage on radio and television in a bid to check the powerful influence of Salafism, a more extreme strain of Islam that is followed by al-Qaeda-backed militants waging a war against the country’s autocratic state.

Mohamed Elhassen has even tried exporting his peaceful, pro-Western philosophy overseas: He’s run for president of Sudan twice. “[I] hope for my country to become great, and to reestablish good connections with America,” he said in February.

If a Hollywood producer was tasked with creating a Muslim family designed to ease the anxieties of parochial Americans, that family would probably look a lot like Mohameds, from the father’s boot-strap immigrant striving to the son’s inspired desire to create and tinker.

When even this family’s child is being carted off in cuffs for bringing an engineering project into school, how can we expect any Muslim in this country to believe in America’s commitment to pluralism and tolerance?

Image via Anil Dash/Twitter. Contact the author at andy@gawker.com.

Earlier today, Daily Pakistan Global stumbled across a Facebook post unlike any we have seen before. It tells the story of Asif, who severed ties with his former best friend, Mudasir, for reasons yet unknown. Despite the tragic, word art-annotated tale of love lost, there remains a light at the end of the tunnel—his new best friend, Salman. The Daily Pakistan’s recounting is perfect in every way, so with their permission, we have reprinted it in full below. And if you have any idea what Mudasir did to scorn Asif so, you can send me an email here. - Ashley Feinberg, Staff Writer

Facebook user from Gujranwala, Asif took to the social networking site on Monday to declare that his friendship with his erstwhile ‘best friend’ Mudasir is over and that he is welcoming a new ‘best friend’ in his life – Salman.

According to the photo shared publicly by Asif Raza, his friendship with Mudasir is officially over. Going into the details of the breakup in the description of the photo, Asif opined that he had to let his former best friend go because “he became very selfish, Proudy, and those who shows me Attitude, I keep them under my Foot…… Huuhhh…….Now SAlman AHmad Naqash is my best friend……Its for information to all.”[sic]

The original post as it appeared on Facebook.

The photo of the public announcement is already going viral and gaining a lot of attention on Facebook. It has been shared more than 100 times and is getting a steady stream of comments, many from concerned mutual friends and helpful strangers.

One Facebook user Muhammad Arsalan Cheema offered his advice on the matter, “Chalo Asif Raza Rana yar galti tu insanoo sy hi hoti hy agar #Mudasir samajta hy k galti uss sy ki hy tu ap usy dosti kar lena…
Baki jo Allah ko manzoor hy……” (Asif Raza people make mistakes, if Mudasir thinks he has made a mistake then you should be friends with him again.)

Translation from top to bottom:

Mudasir Ismail Ahmed: Mistake my foot, it is not my job to coach him [or fix him up].

Muhammad Arsalan Cheema [name written in arabic script]: Let it go guys, for how long can you stay mad at each other, 3 -4 days max? you’ll see...

Adeel Meer: Mudasir, stop being angry now.

Asif Raza Rana: Mudasir, you don’t know how to be a friend. If you think friendship is a toy then you will get a toy in return, now go away.

Notably missing from the conversation is Salman, the new best friend. While most of the people in the comments suggest staying friends with Mudasir on humanitarian grounds, Asif remains adamant about his decision.

Mudasir and Salman were not available for comments at the time of the filing of the story.

This piece has been republished with permission from Waqas Ahmed.

Image via Facebook.

Who can put a price on human life? According to a grand jury report, the brothers of Baruch College’s Pi Delta Psi fraternity, who googled the cost of an ambulance as a pledge lay dying before determining such medical assistance would be too expensive.

The New York Times obtained the report, which details the evidence that resulted in indictments against 37 members of the fraternity after a 19-year-old pledge, Michael Deng, died during a 2013 hazing event.

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The details of the attack are awful, and the justifications that followed are equally gruesome—rather than seeking help for Deng, who had passed out, the fraternity brothers reportedly googled head injury symptoms and researched the cost of an ambulance before determining it would be too expensive.

Here’s the alleged time-line, via the Times:

After they were done tackling him, Mr. Deng’s brothers carried him inside the two-story home. His body felt like a “dead weight,” one member later told the police, according to the grand jury report. Another described it as “straight like a board.”

He was laid down near the fireplace and stripped of the black hooded sweatshirt and black sweatpants that were his uniform for the initiation. They put him in a blanket, then gave him water and chocolate and put sugar on his lips to try waking him up.

After 10 minutes, Mr. Deng “started sucking air and making snoring sounds,” one member said. Some students noticed his pupils did not dilate.

They reached out to the fraternity’s national president at the time, Andy Meng, who told them by phone to hide everything showing the group’s symbol, according to the grand jury report. One member told the police that “the protocol is to first put away fraternity letters, paddles, banners etc.,” to shield the organization.

The brothers grew nervous, but not nervous enough to call an ambulance.

“Kwan stated no one called for an ambulance because someone looked it up and the bill/cost was too high,” the grand jury report says, citing the account of Kenny Kwan, who prosecutors say will be charged with murder in the tackling on Mr. Deng that started with a 15-foot running head start.

Instead, they pulled up their cellphones’ browsers and searched for terms like “Concussion can’t wake up,” “snoring but not waking up” and “pupils don’t dilate.” One member asked for advice from a friend whose grandfather had recently fallen and died.

Eventually three brothers drove Deng to the hospital but it was too late: his injuries were so severe a doctor reportedly determined they were caused by “hundreds of pounds of impulsive loads,” and Deng was later pronounced dead.

At least five brothers have been charged with murder, so I guess you can put a price on human life: life imprisonment.

Contact the author at gabrielle@gawker.com.

Not one to pass up low-hanging fruit, The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon created a shockingly not-unfunny parody commercial making fun of The Weather Channel for planning to dump their reality shows and shift back to 100% live weather coverage in the near future. As the gruff announcer shouts: “Buckle up, buttercup, because WEATHER. IS. BACK!”

http://thevane.gawker.com/weather-channe...

Last week, The Weather Channel released some unexpected news that the network will soon end its reality shows and go back to showing live weather coverage 24 hours a day, much like it did during the first few decades of its existence.

Those reality shows do pretty well in terms of generating ratings and revenue—last July’s second season finale of Scruffy Huffing Woodsfest garnered more than 1.5 million viewers—but the network decided that they can’t focus on both long-form programming and live weather coverage if they want to survive in the future. The changing landscape requires media outlets to be good at one thing, and The Weather Channel chose to once again focus all of their resources on the weather, according to the television network’s president David Clark on Monday night’s episode of WeatherBrains, a weekly podcast about the weather.

Fallon’s skit is funny (for a change!) because it isn’t too far from the truth. Many longtime viewers are amped that The Weather Channel plans to fully devote itself to the weather again, blowing our minds with stratus clouds morning, noon, and night. (Hopefully.)

[Video: The Tonight Show via YouTube]

Email: dennis.mersereau@gawker.com | Twitter: @wxdam

If you enjoy The Vane, then you’ll love my upcoming book, The Extreme Weather Survival Manual, which comes out on October 6 and is now available for pre-order on Amazon.

Kristin Cavallari is currently in New York City to host the Kristin Cavallari for Chinese Laundry Kia Style360 New York Fashion Week party, but this morning, she made time to host something else. Alongside a woman who used to be married to Billy Joel, Kristin co-hosted Yahoo! Style’s one-week-only online news show, “#NYFWCoffeeBreak.”

The hour-long program focused on—ah doi—fashion week. During one particularly rousing segment, Billy Joel’s ex-wife displayed “fashion week Instagrams” on a touchscreen and made Kristin talk about them.

About a photo of the fashion designer Vera Wang and the somebody Rita Ora, Kristin said: “She looks great.” (She was referring to Rita Ora.)

Other guests included: a girl from “Fifth Harmony” and the former Miss USA who showed up to Lauren Conrad’s fashion show last week.

As Kristin wrote on Instagram this morning, “Hellllllo NYC!”

This has been 500 Days of Kristin.

[Photo via Getty]

At 8 p.m. Eastern, the top eleven candidates for the Republican nomination for the presidency will take the stage at the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library in Simi Valley, California, to embarrass themselves, their loved ones, and the country they hope to lead as they vie for a chance to run this great nation into the ground. Again.

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Not too much has changed since round one; a few candidates have switched places in the polls, and Carly Fiorina conned her way onto the stage, but the hot button topic is, as always, white angst. We’ll be liveblogging the actual debate later tonight, but for now, here’s your rundown of tonight’s key players.

It’s going to be a long year.

Donald Trump

What’s changed

Shockingly, not much. Donald Trump is still the clear lead, polling at about 30 percent.

What to expect

More of the same. Which is to say: Racism, some incoherent yelling, (badly) dodging questions about his familiarity with the primary religious texts of the Christian faith, and a few uncomfortable comments on his smokin’ hot daughter.

Can he win?

God help us.

Jeb Bush

What’s changed

Jeb Bush, who enjoyed initially enjoyed short-lived spot as GOP frontrunner, has not yet succumbed to the temptation to go full-on fire-breathing Tea Party right-wing nut job for attention. Which is why no one gives a shit about him.

What to expect

Jeb will be trying to prove that he’s “tough,” which probably means that he will be acting peevish and annoyed. It’s the Bush way.

Can he win?

As long as he can count on a nigh-unlimited source of funds — that is, as long as he’s a Bush — you can’t count him out.

Scott Walker

What’s changed

Scott Walker started off the race as an everyone’s everyman and a trendy pick, what with his distaste for both unions and livable minimum wages. But then he called building a wall between the US and Canada a “legitimate” idea, and everyone started to remember that Scott Walker is, for all intents and purposes, an idiot.

What to expect

A lot more of what got people behind Walker in the first place—attacking unions. In light of his low polling, he’s also started lashing out at other candidates, which he’d refused to do in the past. So tonight, Walker should be feeling feisty.

Can he win?

Nah.

Ben Carson

What’s changed

In the first debate, Carson had a loyal but tiny following. Now, he’s managed to build some awareness and spout off a few absurd, hyperbolic attacks on Planned Parenthood in the process. Naturally, his poll numbers are spiking.

What to expect

Carson will be the smartest man on the stage saying the stupidest things. His biggest advantage is being the steadfast, sober foil to Donald Trump’s drunken mob boss.

Can he win?

Nah.

Ted Cruz

What’s changed

Tec Cruz has become perfectly comfortable with his spot in Trump’s shadow. Now, he’s just biding his time on the off-chance that Trump finally implodes.

What to expect

Since Trump and Cruz have the same constituency, he can’t actually make any attacks on Trump or he’ll piss off those voters—not to mention kill any chance of a potential Vice Presidential bid with the Donald. Cruz will likely be sitting quietly and backing up the screaming orange man as needed.

Can he win?

If everyone else absolutely destroys their own prospects in an effort to destroy Trump (which, at this point, is not entirely unlikely), then maybe.

Marco Rubio

What’s changed

Unfortunately for Marco Rubio, nothing.

What to expect

Rubio’s been sitting squarely in the middle of the polls, largely because he has been far too boring on all accounts. He might try to liven things up a bit by starting a few fights. More likely, though, is that he will play the polite card, and come Thursday, no one will remember that he was even there.

Can he win?

He has not said nearly enough racist things about immigrants, so no. No he can not.

Mike Huckabee

What’s changed

Huckabee is in the same boat as his ever-so-slightly more liked friend Marco Rubio. And that boat is on dead, stagnant water.

What to expect

In light of Trump’s fumbles with religion, Huckabee might try to lean on the fact that he’s a genuine former Baptist minister, and the former darling of the evangelical wing of the party.

Can he win?

No, but he can slap a mean bass.

Rand Paul

What’s changed

Paul has consistently been polling near the bottom of the pack, but he has at least found a solid constituency in the freshmen philosophy majors of the world.

What to expect

He’ll probably yell at Chris Christie some more. He’ll probably yell at Donald Trump some more. And he’ll probably say a few not-horrible things that no one will care about because, look, Donald Trump.

Can he win?

Frat bros are not reliable voters, so no.

John Kasich

What’s changed

A few more people know who John Kasich is.

What to expect

Very few questions will be asked him, almost none of which will be memorable.

Can he win?

John Kasich would actually be a genuinely difficult person for a Democrat to beat. But unfortunately for Kasich, he is far too moderate to win a Republican primary. His (relative) sensibility has him screwed.

Chris Christie

What’s changed

Nothing—Christie is still very much damaged goods, and he’s just burning money at this point. Which is to say, he’s just being Christie.

What to expect

A few spats with Rand Paul, a few attacks on Trump, and if there’s any good left in this world, a lot of very, very dumb and patently false soundbites for us to drown our sorrows in.

Can he win?

No, but bless him for trying.

Carly Fiorina

What’s changed

Carly was the (Fox-assisted) “winner” of Fox’s loser’s debate, so CNN screwed with the rules to get her into this prime time debate, helping her advance the narrative that her campaign is surging. (She is polling in the single digits.)

What to expect

While Carly stock is, sort of, if you squint, beginning to rise, she hasn’t actually said anything that crazy yet. If she wants a chance for a top slot, she needs to up her game. Something racist about immigrants should do.

Can she win?

She failed her Senate bid and most see her stint as CEO of HP as a failure, too. And more damning than any of that: Carly Fiorina is the proud owner of a vagina. So, nah.

Contact the author at ashley@gawker.com. Images via AP. Photos by Getty.

Donald Trump, a person who will never be president, has nevertheless been the nexus of the American media’s coverage of the 2016 presidential campaign season, an event which is nominally about determining who will be president in 2016. This dynamic will not change in tonight’s Republican debate. As long as it’s going to continue, don’t you wonder what he’d do if he were actually elected?

The only honest answer is that neither I, nor Donald Trump, nor anyone else has any idea. During his numerous dalliances with presidential politics, the policy ideas he’s espoused represent a mix of fantasy and contradiction. Half of them are too wacky to ever be implemented; the other half he’s switched sides on so many times it’s impossible to know where he actually stands. How to increase government revenue without raising taxes? Levy huge new tariffs on imports from China without giving the Chinese anything back for their money. How to ensure all Americans get adequate healthcare? Establish a universal healthcare system, but also demolish Obamacare, the universal healthcare system we already have. I don’t know. Who cares!

The “Positions” section of Trump’s campaign website features a link to the candidate’s stance on the single issue on which he’s built his campaign: immigration. The rest is unaccounted-for and seemingly up to the voter to divine. Based on Trump’s public statements this year and earlier, we’ve taken the liberty of filling out the rest those positions for him, contradictions and all.

Immigration

The idea that immigration from Latin America presents a grave threat to the livelihoods and nether regions of hardworking white Americans everywhere has been, of course, the cornerstone of Trump’s 2016 campaign. He wants to deport every single undocumented immigrant in the U.S., then build a wall across the entire U.S.-Mexico border, which he’ll somehow convince the Mexican government to pay for. The “good ones,” Trump says, can come back eventually, and they’ll have a “very big, very beautiful door” in the middle of the wall to walk through when they do. Trump’s policy on immigration—the issue on which he’s mounted his platform—is a big wall with a big door.

But back then: In 2012, Trump said that Mitt Romney lost the election to President Obama because of his “maniacal” and “mean-spirited” immigration platform, which encouraged what Romney called “self-deportation.” “For people that have been here for years that have been hard-workers, have good jobs, they’re supporting their family — it’s very, very tough to just say, ‘By the way, 22 years, you have to leave. Get out,” Trump said at the time, the Huffington Post noted. “I’m one of the world’s very conservative people, but I have to tell you on a human basis, how do you throw somebody out that’s lived in this country for 20 years.”

And in 2013, he was encouraging immigration again—but only for Europeans. “I have many friends from Europe, they want to come in,” he said that year. “Tremendous people, hard-working people.”

Taxes

Trump is presenting himself as a Republican this time around (it wasn’t always so) which means that just about the only position on taxes he’s espousing is that they should be lower. In Dallas this week, he told a crowd of supporters that he’ll have a formal tax plan sometime within the next three weeks, and that the plan will be “really pro-growth.” He’s said that he’ll lower taxes for corporations, “because we want jobs,” and also for the middle class.

But he’s surprisingly progressive on one specific class of taxpayer: hedge fund managers, who he said “are going to be paying up” when he’s elected. He has a point there: because their incomes are classified as capital gains, the richest hedge fund managers pay 20 percent in taxes, whereas someone making the same money in a different field would pay almost twice that.

But back then: Trump was even more cavalier about taxing the rich back in 1999, when briefly ran for president in the Reform Party primary and introduced a proposal that might make Bernie Sanders sport a chubby. Levying a one-time-only tax on the wealthiest Americans for 14.25 percent of their entire net worths would raise $5.7 trillion for the country’s budget, he determined—enough to pay off the national debt, fund social security, and pay for a tax cut for the working class, he said at the time.

Trump even invoked the 99 percent, over a decade before Occupy Wall Street. From a 1999 CNN report on the plan:

“By my calculations, 1 percent of Americans, who control 90 percent of the wealth in this country, would be affected by my plan,” Trump said.

“The other 99 percent of the people would get deep reductions in their federal income taxes,” he said.

But by the time OWS caught on to the catchphrase, Trump had veered far to the right. In 2011, Trump wanted to lower capital gains rates—the opposite of what he’s proposing now—lower taxes on corporations, and eliminate the estate tax, Think Progress notes.

Jobs and the economy

Trump says he will bring back American manufacturing jobs that have since been lost to Mexico and China, but doesn’t have a clear plan for bringing them back. As Daniel Drenzer notes in the Washington Post, it’s mostly a fantasy: many of those jobs didn’t migrate overseas, but disappeared entirely thanks to more automation in the manufacturing process. “I will be the greatest jobs president that God has ever created,” the candidate said in June.

But back then: He was saying pretty much the same thing.

America

Trump wants to Make America Great Again.

But back then: He wanted to Make America #1 Again.

Healthcare

“Obamacare is a disaster,” says Trump. He’s harped on the necessity of securing healthcare for everyone in the past, but as someone who’s looking to obtain votes from register Republicans, he’d be committing political suicide by endorsing President Obama’s plan. So he’s endorsing a “free-market” alternative without saying much about what that alternative entails, other than that it will be “absolutely great.” What’s it called? Donaldcare, of course.

But back then: Trump has long been a vocal supporter of universal healthcare, usually in the Canadian-style single-payer model. He said on Larry King in 1999:

What’s the purpose of a country if you’re not going to have defensive and health care?

If you can’t take care of your sick in the country, forget it, it’s all over. I mean, it’s no good. So I’m very liberal when it comes to health care. I believe in universal health care. I believe in whatever it takes to make people well and better.

Abortion

Trump supposedly hates abortion, just like every other Republican candidate running this year.

But back then: The Washington Post points to a 1999 Meet the Press interview. “I am very pro-choice. I hate the concept of abortion, I hate it. I cringe when I listen to people debating the subject. But you still—I just believe in choice.”

http://jezebel.com/reminder-donal...

Trump forgot the current status of his abortion stance in an interview with Jake Tapper this year, our sister site Jezebel notes.

Tapper: I know you’re opposed to abortion.

Trump: Right. I’m pro choice.

Tapper: You’re pro choice or pro life?

Trump: I’m pro life. I’m sorry.

Women in general

He either hates them or wants to fuck them.

But back then: The same, I’m sure.

And black people?

He thinks they’re lazy and wants to fire them.

But back then: Probably the same.

Foreign policy

Trump is opposed to the Iran deal, and said that he’d put American boots on the ground overseas to combat ISIS and cut off their access to oil. But as CNN notes, an event yesterday that was billed as the candidate’s big foreign policy speech turned out to be an enlightening window into his thought process on the military and national security. Just kidding! It was all about immigration:

“The drugs pour in, and the money pours out. Not a good deal,” Trump said, recalling his visit to the Texas-Mexico border. “So we’re going to build a wall.”

The Republican presidential front-runner — standing in front of three massive guns protruding at 45-degree angles from the battelship — donned his now-trademark “Make America Great Again” hat as he bellowed into the microphone. When his remarks concluded, Trump threw hat after hat into the crowd as patriotic tunes blared.

But back then: Trump was harping about taking oil from the Middle East and putting enormous tariffs on imports from China back in 2011, too.

Environment

Climate change is a hoax, the Keystone XL pipeline would have no environmental impact, wind turbines kill bald eagles and are an “aesthetic disaster.”

But back then: Trump doesn’t seem to care about the environment much one way or the other beyond those pesky wind turbines. In 2013, he sued over the construction of turbines that would obstruct the view from a golf course he was building in Scotland.

Education

Trump more or less walks the Republican party line here, according to Think Progress: Against Common Core, downsize the federal Department of Education, take down teacher’s unions, encourage charter schools.

But back then: He didn’t say much, but it doesn’t appear that his views have changed significantly over the years.

Illustration by Jim Cooke, source photo via Getty. Contact the author at andy@gawker.com.

Sir Elton John was thrilled to get a call Monday from Russian president and Photoshop pioneer Vladimir Putin, after John had criticized Russia’s abysmal record on LGBT rights. Their chat went well, Sir Elton reported on Instagram, and a face-to-face meeting was in the offing. If that sounds suspiciously unlike the unyielding, stone-faced Vladimir Putin with whom we all coexist in precarious detante, that’s because it wasn’t.

The Kremlin denied that Putin had ever called John, and on Wednesday two infamous Russian pranksters claimed credit for making the call. NBC News reports:

On Wednesday, Vladimir Krasnov, a well-known Russian prankster, told NBC News that he and his partner, Alexei Stolyanov, were behind it. They also promised to air the conversation on Russian television and post it on YouTube.

The two pranksters a.k.a. “Vovan” and “Lexus,” usually target Russian celebrities, and notably pranked former prime minister Mikhail Gorbechev.

They made good on their promise to post their conversation on YouTube, and it’s depressing.

Sir Elton earnestly pleads the case for “basic freedom” for LGBT people in all walks of life, and “Putin” rebuffs him, claiming that John’s appearance in Kiev last week was a political move by Ukrainian president Petro Poroschenko.

John argues with the fake Putin that he’s a humanitarian, not a politician, and asks for a face-to-face meeting with the president, which he describes as “a dream come true.”

He moves on to discussing scheduling with a fake version of Putin’s press secretary, Dmitry Peskov, and eventually agrees to come to Moscow’s Gay Pride—an event where, earlier this year, activists were attacked by angry mobs and arrested.

Pretty funny “prank,” convincing Elton John that Russia—a country where LGBT people and allies are routinely beaten and where gay foreigners are subject to arrest (you may remember all of this from the Sochi Olympics, but it hasn’t gotten much better since)—would proactively open a serious dialog about equality. I guess you have to give these guys credit for understanding their audience, though.

http://gawker.com/what-the-hell-...

A spokesperson for the Kremlin—the freaking Kremlin—condemned the prank as “not nice.”

A threadbare silver lining: the same spokesman said Putin might be willing to hear John out, if John calls him.

[NBC, Photo: Elton John/Instagram]

Tonight at 8pm, 11 GOP candidates for President of the United States will stand up on stage for the chance to see who can cram the most racist tirades against immigrants into the span of three hours. And we’ll be liveblogging every godforsaken second of it.

http://gawker.com/the-second-gop...

Will Chris Christie punch Rand Paul in the face? Can any of the foul things coming from Donald Trump’s mouth do anything but raise his approval ratings? How many times will Ben Carson say the word “brains”? And how many of Carly Fiorina’s questions will be prefaced with, “As a woman...”? We’re about to find out.

Contact the author at ashley@gawker.com. Image by Jim Cooke, source photos via Getty

A 8.3-magnitude earthquake struck off the coast of Chile Wednesday evening, triggering tsunami alerts across the country’s shoreline and for the state of Hawaii.

According to The New York Times, there were no immediate reports of any injuries or damage, but the paper noted communications have been disrupted.

U.S. officials say the quake occurred just before 7 p.m. Eastern time and was centered about 140 miles north-northwest from Santiago, Chile’s capital.

Chilean authorities warned that large waves caused by the quake could hit the country’s coast by 11 p.m.

In April 2014, six people were killed and more than 900,000 were evacuated after an 8.2-magnitude earthquake struck off the coast of Chile.

[Image via USGS]

A Danish teenager was sentenced to nine years in prison on Monday for the brutal murder of her mother, who was stabbed at least 20 times while she slept in her bed last October, The Local reports.

According to The Independent, the court was told 16-year-old Lisa Borch had an obsession with ISIS and spent “the whole evening” watching the militant group’s beheading videos before killing her mother. From The Daily Telegraph:

After the murder, Ms Borch rang the police to report the crime.

She told police: “I heard my mother scream and I looked out the window and saw a white man running away. Please come here, there is blood everywhere.” Then she calmly waited, the court heard.

When the police arrived, they discovered her calmly [watching] videos on her iPhone. When they asked where her mother was, she pointed upstairs without even pausing what she was watching.

Borch’s 29-year-old boyfriend, Bakhtiar Mohammed Abdulla, was sentenced to 13 years in prison for his role in the crime. Originally from Iraq, Abdulla reportedly met Borch at a refugee center and the two made plans to flee to Syria together to fight for ISIS.

“She loves to talk about Isil and their brutal behaviour in the Middle East,” said Borch’s stepfather. “I dare not imagine what she can develop into during imprisonment.”

[Image via YouTube/NY Daily News]

If you watched tonight’s GOP debate, you probably didn’t learn anything important, but you definitely now know that a lot of people want to be the Republican Party’s nominee for president. Like so many people! So many, in fact, that trying to keep track of them all has become its own grim, profoundly absurd contest.

So what do you think, hot shot? Can YOU distinguish actual Republican presidential candidates from random pictures of old white guys I found online?

[Image via Getty Images]

After nearly three hours of monotone droning by a bunch of sweaty old people who will almost certainly never be president, tonight’s Republican debate finally delivered with a bizarre question about potential Secret Service names that produced incredibly absurd answers from every single candidate.

http://gawker.com/return-to-hell...

The final segment of the debate was devoted to free association-style questions. The dais was first asked which woman they would put on the $10 bill, with the most popular answer being: myyyy wiiiife. Then each candidate was prompted to offer what their Secret Service code name would be if they were elected president, and holy hell was each answer absolutely nuts.

Here are the candidates’ real, actual answers, each of which delivers such a perfect morsel of conservative id:

• Chris Christie: “True Heart”
• John Kasich: “Unit One”
• Carly Fiorina: “Secretariat”
• Scott Walker: “Harley”
• Jeb Bush: “Ever-Ready”
• Donald Trump: “Humble”
• Ben Carson: “One Nation”
• Ted Cruz: “Cohiba”
• Marco Rubio: “Gator”
• Mike Huckabee: “Duck Hunter”
• Ron Paul: “Justice Never Sleeps”

Cohiba! Duck Hunter! Justice Never Sleeps! Secretariat!!!

I swear this is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life.

Contact the author at jordan@gawker.com.

On Wednesday’s Tonight Show, Jimmy Fallon and guest Hillary Clinton both got to try out their impressions, the former impersonating melted candle impersonator Donald Trump and the later pretending to be someone who tells jokes.

At their best, comedy bits featuring politicians give candidates a chance to show off a more playful side than they’re typically able to on the campaign trail. At their worst, they help sanitize otherwise odious powermongers. Clinton’s skit ended up being a bit of both, overtly advancing her “champion of the people” narrative while also serving as a reminder of the actual person at the center of her campaign.

Well that’s quite a coincidence. The very same day Apple turned its News app into a mandatory blob on your home screen, it also rolled out ad blocking capabilities in iOS 9.

The day after iOS 9’s release, over ten percent of iOS users have already downloaded iOS 9, according to Paddle Analytics. That means thousands of people have discovered that they can’t get rid of the News app on their home screen. Meanwhile, those same people are probably rejoicing that Apple will finally allow ad blocking. Already, many ad blockers are vying to become the app of choice for the iOS set. So what’s the connection between these two seemingly unrelated iOS 9 shifts?

It starts with the rise of ad blockers over the past couple of years. Though these apps for blocking pop-ups and other annoying ads have been around for almost a decade, their use is currently skyrocketing. Partly this is because ads are getting more annoying — often they take over the whole browser, and it’s really hard to click through them. But it’s also because people are becoming more aware of how much these ads are tracking their behavior online. Ever visit an online shoe store and discover that ads for the shoes you just looked at keep popping up on every news site you visit for the next 24 hours? That’s because you’re being tracked and followed by advertisers. And it feels creepy.

As a result, consumers are fighting back with ad blockers and apps like Ghostery, which promises to prevent all manner of spyware from gumming up your devices and your privacy. And here’s where we get to the part about news websites, like the ones that you can read on your mandatory News app on iOS 9.

Because those news websites pay their writers and editors with revenues from the very ads that you’re blocking with the nifty new apps for iOS 9. Which is why the call to block ads is bound up with a call to change how you get news.

In mid-August, Instapaper creator Marco Arment issued this call for ethics in advertising and journalism:

Publishers don’t have an easy job trying to stay in business today, but that simply doesn’t justify the rampant abuse, privacy invasion, sleaziness, and creepiness that many of them are forcing upon their readers, regardless of whether the publishers feel they had much choice in the matter.

Modern web ads and trackers are far over the line for many people today, and they’ve finally crossed the line for me, too. Just as when pop-ups crossed the line fifteen years ago, technical countermeasures are warranted.

Web publishers and advertisers cannot be trusted with the amount of access that today’s browsers give them by default, and people are not obligated to permit their web browsers to load all resources or execute all code that they’re given.

Note that Arment bundles together “publishers and advertisers,” aiming his criticisms about ethics squarely at both. While some publishers took umbrage at his comments, others embraced it. Tech commentator John Gruber recently praised ad blocking on Daring Fireball, because his publishing model isn’t affected by it:

Perhaps I am being smug. But I see the fact that Daring Fireball’s revenue streams should remain unaffected by Safari content-blocking as affirmation that my choices over the last decade have been correct: that I should put my readers’ interests first, and only publish the sort of ads and sponsorships that I myself would want to be served, even if that means leaving (significant) amounts of money on the table along the way. But I take no joy in the fact that a terrific publication like The Awl might be facing hard times. They’re smart; they will adapt.

Gruber’s idea is that somehow ad blockers create social Darwinism for media — good publications like The Awl “will adapt.” If they die, well, they just weren’t fit for the new business environment. Over at the New York Times, Farhad Manjoo embraced the new ad blocker-driven model, too, suggesting that it will generate a better ad industry:

But in the long run, there could be a hidden benefit to blocking ads for advertisers and publishers: Ad blockers could end up saving the ad industry from its worst excesses. If blocking becomes widespread, the ad industry will be pushed to produce ads that are simpler, less invasive and far more transparent about the way they’re handling our data — or risk getting blocked forever if they fail.

Manjoo goes on to talk about a number of companies that are trying to turn ad blocking — especially the tracking spyware that often goes with it — into a cottage industry. Reforming ads may be “ethical,” but it’s also a business unto itself.

And that’s why it’s no surprise that Arment released his new ad blocker Peace yesterday, a $3 app for blocking ads on ios9. Huh. Nodding to issues that small publishers will face as ad blocking becomes the norm, he writes:

We shouldn’t feel guilty about this. The “implied contract” theory that we’ve agreed to view ads in exchange for free content is void because we can’t review the terms first — as soon as we follow a link, our browsers load, execute, transfer, and track everything embedded by the publisher. Our data, battery life, time, and privacy are taken by a blank check with no recourse. It’s like ordering from a restaurant menu with no prices, then being forced to pay whatever the restaurant demands at the end of the meal.

If publishers want to offer free content funded by advertising, the burden is on them to choose ad content and methods that their readers will tolerate and respond to.

Basically, we’ve returned to the social Darwinist argument again. It’s on the publishers to adapt to the new model or die. The problem is that it’s not that simple. Because companies like Apple aren’t just pushing publishers to get new kinds of ads — they are actively trying to supplant the place of those publishers with alternative news platforms. Like, well, Apple’s News app.

Casey Johnston argues exactly this over on The Awl. Ad blocking, she writes, is a harbinger of the platform age, where small publishers are eaten by companies like Google or Facebook:

What will these “better” ads look like? One answer is that as publications transition to becoming direct content providers for the social networks and platforms whose audiences they are currently borrowing, like Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, Google, perhaps Apple News (or Medium??)‚ many of the ads will be the same as before—placed in front of, beside, and between content—but sold and provided by the platform, rather than the publisher. Ad-blocking, insofar as it contributes to the decimation of advertising revenues, will hasten this exodus to the platforms.

And there is no way to block the ads shown to you by Facebook or Google or Twitter in their own apps, especially not on mobile. At that inflection point, the argument about how ad-blocking protects privacy by evading trackers also becomes largely irrelevant.

When you consider Johnston’s comments here, it becomes obvious why Apple would make its News app mandatory on the same day it’s blocking ads for the first time ever in iOS. It’s destroying media revenue models on two fronts: with ad blocking for the web, and an app for your phone.

This isn’t about protecting consumers. It’s about Apple getting into the business of serving you news, in an app where you’ll never be able to block ads or sponsored content or “native advertising” or whatever you want to call the same old game of making you want to buy expensive shit you don’t need. When all the small news sites go out of business because they can’t “adapt” to ad blocking, Apple’s News app is there for you. Oh and also? There’s a whole new market for apps like Peace and Blockr and all the others that will soon be stuffing the App Store.

You can bet that Apple News will track your interests and feed you ads, even if you have Peace installed. Maybe these are ads that you “tolerate and respond to” as Arment would have it. But it will also mean that nobody gets to publish a small news publication without sucking up to Apple and Facebook and Google and all the other platforms with so-called ethical native advertising.

You’re trading in one kind of trap for another. And both have brands glued all over them.

Contact the author at annalee@gizmodo.com.
Public PGP key
PGP fingerprint: CA58 326B 1ACB 133B 0D15 5BCE 3FC6 9123 B2AA 1E1A

In October of 2013, Adam Levine partnered with Kmart to produce a menswear collection over which he claimed to have complete creative control. On September 17, 2015, Kmart’s Adam Levine Collection hosted a NYFW runway show that Adam Levine did not even have on his calendar.

The Adam Levine Collection was created by Kevin Christiana, a designer who came in ninth place on season four of Project Runway. That short bio might seem cherry-picked to sound rude, but it’s just the truth, and maybe you should ask yourself why you think it sounds rude. Hmm? Some of us didn’t place at all on any season of Project Runway—just something to think about.

The Adam Levine Collection’s website claims Christiana designed the collection “under the guidance and direction of the Maroon 5 frontman himself,” a dubious claim that all but proved itself false during the runway show we attended yesterday.

As far as we can tell, we are the only writers to review it so far.

“Just shoot for the stars, if it feels right. Then aim for my heart, if you feel like.” —Maroon 5

Allie: We decided to attend the the Adam Levine Collection presented by Shop Your Way Brands/Kmart at Kia STYLE360 NYFW runway show because we love celebrity-branded fashion shows and this seemed like another one we might be able to get into. We were right, as it turns out. I emailed a lady and then, what do you know, we were on the list. When we arrived about a half an hour before the show was set to start, a few people were having their photos taken in front of a step-and-repeat adorned with fake ivy and the names of various sponsors. “Autotrader.” “Compeed.” “LimeLight.” “Kia Optima.”

http://gawker.com/in-basic-heave...

I did not recognize the first “famous” person—a youngish dark-haired woman wearing plaid and carrying a small dog also wearing plaid—to grace the step-and-repeat. She mentioned to a reporter that she was working on “season four.” Season four of what, we will likely never know. I couldn’t place the next step-and-repeat star, either, though she was giving off a VH1 reality show vibe.

The big “get,” in my eyes, was former Real Housewife of Orange County Gretchen Rossi, who showed up minutes later wearing long blonde extensions, pointy-toed high heels, and a black, lacy dress that was too fancy for the occasion. Her longtime fiancé, Slade, was there too, wearing a blazer and sneakers. Gretchen posed for many photos and then made a beeline for the bar.

No one showed up to pose in front of the step-and-repeat after Gretchen, so we did a couple laps around the Kia STYLE360 NYFW waiting area, which was lined with booths promoting various brands. We took free samples of “Compeed,” which is a line of blister pads for your feet. A few minutes later, a young girl wearing black clothing and a Kia STYLE360 NYFW pass around her neck approached us and asked if we wanted to try some Compeed pads. We said okay—after all, they were free.

A few minutes after that, another girl wearing black approached us and delivered the exact same copy: “Have you heard of Compeed? It’s a very popular brand of blister pads in England.” Instead, we decided it was time to find our seats for the Adam Levine Collection presented by Shop Your Way Brands/Kmart at Kia STYLE360 NYFW runway show.

Kelly: Allie only recognized one nobody at the step-and-repeat, which was somewhat chilling. (Two, if you count the Real Housewife’s fiancé.) (“A snake,” according to Allie.) (I believe it.) The dog girl seemed like she might have just been the owner of a famous dog, but according to Getty she is “Gina Naomi Baez,” and according to her Instagram she is a cancer survivor and “YouTuber w/ @TinkerbelleTheDog.” Here is a great picture of her dog posing at the event:

Good boy.

The Kia STYLE360 NYFW waiting area was an incredibly low-budget idea of a woman’s dream waiting area, if the woman also dreamed of being aggressively marketed to by brands she had no interest in. There were two put-upon women at the Kia station giving people manicures for some reason. A sad person giving foot massages. A station where you could get the tiniest splash of prosecco. A diet cookie booth. Little samples of shampoo that promised “beachy waves” in a bowl. Women basically forcing Compeed blister pads down your fucking throat. It was not enjoyable, but at least Allie and I will be all set when we get our next blisters.

Before the show, everybody had to line up to walk up a concrete staircase into the runway room. There were a lot of people, and nobody seemed particularly chill about their place in the swarm. A sign of things to come.

“It’s not always rainbows and butterflies. It’s compromise that moves us along.” —Maroon 5

Kelly: When we entered the runway space, we were immediately struck by the fact that the chairs surrounding the runway were not the kind of chairs you would be happy or neutral to see, but were instead directors chairs. Action! (Impression of a director.) This frugal aesthetic decision was completely detached from the theme of the collection, and seemed to say, well, uh, you can tell at least that this was a choice. The chairs said, This isn’t the standard. The chairs said, The room didn’t COME with directors chairs.

The directors chairs were not the main seat-related drama, however. When Allie and I approached our seating assignments in the third row, we found two women—possibly a mother and daughter—sitting in our seats. Damnit! They seemed agitated and I overheard one of the men next to them say, “Well, just find the best seats and sit there.” Huh. Everybody in this group displaying some interesting ways to interpret assigned seating.

Allie and I stood there unsure of what to do for a truly excruciating amount of time. The older woman seemed very upset, and we did not want to fight with an upset woman while we were already about to have to watch an Adam Levine Collection runway show—we are human and our shoulders can only bear so much weight. So instead of dealing with the conflict ourselves, we brought our seat assignments to one of the women dressed in black with a headset.

“I think there are people sitting in our seats?” Allie told the woman. You could tell immediately that this woman felt the same way we did about the situation, as her face fell into the same worried expression Allie and I had just spent what seemed like 14 hours silently exchanging with each other. “Umm—ahh, well,” she said, “OK. Let’s—.” This was a very sweet moment. I felt like she was our mom and we just told her someone on the playground was doing something we did not understand but that she knew was somewhat sexual. She took our hands (in spirit) and led us back to the women in our seats and told them they had to move. They did not take this news well. “You invited us, you promised us seats,” the older woman said. “How can you invite someone and not give them a seat?”

Seems rude as hell, but also we were very relieved when they left our seats.

Allie: The effort it took to simply sit down at the Adam Levine Collection presented by Shop Your Way Brands/Kmart at Kia STYLE360 NYFW runway show did not bode well for the rest of our experience. Even once the mother and daughter agreed to get up and move, another bad thing happened: the daughter looked at me, then the free gift that was placed on her (my) chair, then back at me, before shoving it into her purse and leaving. A moment so brutal that I’ll still remember it weeks from now, when I’m taking a shower or doing laundry or something, and shiver. The gift was a 25% off coupon for the Adam Levine Collection at Kmart, good through 9/21/15.

Kelly graciously offered to share her coupon, which the mother had left untouched, with me. Thank you, Kelly.

After our seating fiasco, I thought we could sit back and relax, but I was wrong. 1) It is impossible to sit back and relax in a director’s chair, and 2) there was a lot more drama to come. As a former sorority social chair, I can say that the outright posturing and scheming during the seating portion of this event was unlike anything I’d seen before.

In front of us, two women sat down in seats they clearly knew not to be theirs. “Let’s just sit here,” one said. They were both wearing lipstick and nice shoes and thought they deserved good seats, I guess, but minutes later a headset-wearing assistant came and told them to move. Several seconds passed, each more agonizing than the last, during which they attempted to process this information and gather their things.

Then, behind us, an assistant approached a man and a woman dressed identically in wide-brimmed black hats, black capes, and white shirts, and told them that they were sitting in the wrong seats. This couple huffed and puffed and rolled their eyes as they moved to their assigned seats, which were literally four seats over from where they were sitting. What!!! Just sit in your seat!!!!!!

All of this switching around was happening in the second, third, and fourth rows—the front row remained, for the most part, empty. A few minutes before the show was set to start, someone made an announcement over the loud speaker urging the “front row guests” to take their seats. A lot of people I didn’t know sat down, and then—lucky for us—two former members of Danity Kane took their places near us. The gals, Aubrey O’Day and Shannon Bex, are currently working on their own musical project, “Dumblonde.” (They did not tell me this, I just know what former members of Danity Kane are up to.) Shannon’s boobs looked like they were going to fall out of her tiny dress at any minute, but I guess that was the point. They were the most famous people at the Adam Levine Collection presented by Shop Your Way Brands/Kmart at Kia STYLE360 NYFW runway show, for sure.

Just after the lights went down to start the show, a man approached two men sitting in front of us and told them they were sitting in his seats. It’s true, they were.

“I like to be involved with process rather than just phoning it in. I want to make sure that every stitch is something that I approve of. That’s kind of been a theme amongst all of these enterprises, it’s not just being a name or face behind it, but actually putting the work into it to make it really good and what I love.” —Adam Levine, 2013

Allie: Before we even got to the Kia STYLE360 NYFW venue, Kelly and I suspected that Adam Levine was not going to show up to his own fashion show. This was based on a general feeling and also the fact that Adam Levine did not promote the event on any of his social media accounts. Once again: we were right. At the beginning of the show, a video of Adam Levine apologizing for his absence appeared on a projection screen. He was “sorry, guys,” but he’s “on tour right now.” The video suggested that Adam Levine likes talking to a camera but does not know much about the Adam Levine Collection for Kmart. At the end, he uttered these words, right in a row: “Love you guys. Thank you. Kmart. Awesome clothes. Boom.”

Then Maroon 5’s “Animals” started playing, which segued quickly into Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit.” A beautiful moment.

The show featured both male and female models, and the inspiration for the collection was clearly “‘90s grunge.” The clothes were neatly pressed and not grungy, however, so the end result was more “Disney Channel Original Movie about Kurt Cobain.”

Everything was muted red and green and black; nothing looked like it was not from Kmart. There were multiple faux leather jackets, sweaters that didn’t quite hang right, and leggings that the average American shopper probably could not wear as pants, as the models were doing.

The models were slightly “alternative” in ways that were deliberate and ways that perhaps were not. One had a chest tattoo; one had a septum piercing. A few walked kind of funny.

During the show I noticed that Aubrey O’Day had somehow gotten ahold of the plaid-wearing YouTube girl’s dog and was playing with it. Gretchen Rossi was playing with her hair extensions.

Kelly: “Love you guys. Thank you. Kmart. Awesome clothes. Boom.” Adam Levine employing straight-up Donald Trump levels of lazy huckstering in that shitty introductory iPhone video. Yup. Clothes. For your body. Buy ‘em. I get a cut. They’re great. Awesome clothes. This motherfucker.

As “Smells Like Teen Spirit” rang out over the speakers, I gasped and grabbed Allie’s arm. Finally—Kurt made it. Sometimes geniuses don’t find an audience for their art until after their death, it’s true, and I’m happy that he can rest in peace knowing that he has finally found his: the audience at the Adam Levine Collection presented by Shop Your Way Brands/Kmart at Kia STYLE360 NYFW runway show. Better to burn out than fade away, indeed.

“Disney Channel Original Movie about Kurt Cobain,” as Allie said, is a spot-on way to describe this runway show. In fact, it would have had more meaning and input from its namesake if it had been the Kurt Cobain Collection for Kmart, because at least Kurt Cobain wore t-shirts and flannel and jeans. What does Adam Levine wear? No shirt, tattoos, and leather pants?! How about design a collection where a skinny dude never puts a shirt on and call that the Adam Levine Collection for Kmart. Design a line of temporary tattoos and call that the Adam Levine Collection for Kmart. (And this is just a little aside, but if you told me all of Adam Levine’s tattoos were temporary I would not only believe you, I would say, “Uh, yeah—I KNOW.”)

Among the parade of grunge, which lasted so long that it is crazy, just a crazy amount of time, way too long to look at models wearing normal shit from Kmart while they walk up and down a thing, there was one two-piece dress that looked like the kind of stuff Taylor Swift wears. Here it is:

Haha. Just kidding, it was impossible to take photos in the room because of the lighting and our seat placement, and there isn’t a picture of it on Getty. You’ll just have to believe me. It was like this.

“Even the sun sets in paradise.” —Maroon 5

Kelly: After showing us 100 hours worth of what must have been just about every single piece of clothing they offer in Kmart, music started blaring from the speakers, as if to shout, “NOPE—STILL MORE!”

At this point, Matt McAndrew, runner-up on The Voice’s seventh season (team Adam), took the “stage.” And, man. I know I am a blogger and it is my job to find the words to express to you what it was like to watch Matt McAndrew pace back and forth on the runway, singing along to a pre-recorded track that no one had ever heard before played over speakers not exactly able to handle the volume of the pre-recorded track, while some other guy in literally a corner played inaudible acoustic guitar for no reason, while an audience seated in directors chairs looked at their iPhones, but I cannot. Not exactly. The best I can do is produce for you a drawing of a face Allie was making when I turned to look at her while Matt McAndrew sang:

Allie and I could not stop giggling during this portion of the show, which made me feel a little guilty. It was at once very loud and DEATHLY quiet, and I have to imagine our giggling was noticeable. But maybe if you don’t want people giggling during your thing, don’t force Matt McAndrew to participate in a hilarious performance that will no doubt haunt him for the remainder of his career. Here’s a short video clip:

A video of the entire performance can be viewed here, but please note that it is extremely graphic and disturbing.

I think Matt performed two songs. Maybe three. The energy in the room was akin to the energy in an empty room. Matt McAndrew seemed like a nice enough young man, and I felt intensely sad and embarrassed for him. At certain points, he would pump his fist. At other points, he would clap. He began his second song by saying, “Please sing along if you can, all right?” No one took him up on it. Later, during that same song, after singing the chorus multiple times, in perhaps the most devastating moment I have ever witnessed firsthand, he asked the audience to join him, saying: “Everybody sing, come on!”

Silence. Cold, dead, heartbreaking silence.

“How about clapping?” he then asked, as we sank through our directors chairs, the floor, and directly into our graves.

A few people clapped along. Briefly.

Allie: What did Matt McAndrew ever do to Adam Levine and/or Kmart and its subsidiaries and/or Shop Your Way Brands and/or our omniscient God? This performance was a punishment for everyone, but especially for Matt McAndrew, is what I’m saying.

I’ll say this: Matt McAndrew was not an untalented singer. He knew all the notes and lyrics that the audience decidedly did not, and he delivered them to the best of his ability. The performance was not bad, per se; it was wrong.

When he finally finished, over an hour after the start of the Adam Levine Collection presented by Kmart/Shop Your Way Brands at Kia STYLE360 NYFW runway show and many years after the end our natural lives, the house lights still did not come on.

There was one more thing for us to watch: another video of Adam Levine.

During the short clip, Adam enters a room full of Adam Levine Collection for Kmart clothes (the same clothes we have just seen on the runway). He looks at them in practiced awe, exclaiming loudly, “DOOOOOOPPPEE!”

He then pretends to “steal” the clothes, which he is excited to see for the first time.

If only he had bothered to attend the Adam Levine Collection presented by Kmart/Shop Your Way Brands at Kia STYLE360 NYFW runway show, he could have experienced the thrill of seeing this clothing for the very first time alongside the rest of us.

Image via Getty, art by Jim Cooke. Additional images via Kelly. Contact the author at kelly.conaboy@gawker.com.

Reality is the most terrifying game of all.

[h/t @Babylonian]

Contact the author at ashley@gawker.com.

Port Authority cops stopped a fashion designer who pulled a U-turn outside the Holland Tunnel Tuesday, driving onto the sidewalk and narrowly missing five cars. When officers pulled them over, she told them she turned around because she didn’t want to go to New Jersey.

Prosecutors say the designer, 34-year-old Tonnie Schaus, refused to take a breathalyzer test and told the cops to “hurry up” with her arrest because she had “a lot of things to do tomorrow,” the New York Daily News reports.

The officers confiscated her cocaine supply and gave her one more thing to do Wednesday—a court appearance on charges of reckless driving and drug possession.

ADA David Ginensky described the scene to the Daily News thusly:

“She eventually drove onto the sidewalk to get around traffic. Once she was stopped, she was found with two vials of cocaine. When she was handcuffed, she actually slipped out of the cuffs.”

“I’m sorry. I know I made a mistake. The cocaine isn’t mine,” she allegedly told the officers.

They searched Schaus’s car, finding more drugs (the NYDN doesn’t specify what kind). Her passenger, 58-year-old David Perlow, apparently just remained in the passenger seat watching this shitshow unfold, and also ended up facing drug charges.

Schaus is out on $1,500 bail. New York Fashion Week ends today, mercifully.

[NYDN, Photo: Port Authority Police]

The Kardashian corporate umbrella of human brands just released a new suite of apps and websites, and it only took two seconds for someone to discover a glaring privacy hole. Also, Kim is way, way less popular than Kylie Jenner.

Software engineer Alaxic Smith found a very easy means of penetrating the new Kardashian web mothership (easy for an engineer, at least), and found a trove of information that spammers eager for primo demographic targets would eat up: the names and emails of over 660,000 subscribers.

Initially, I thought that this was some a page filled with dummy data, but as I started to look closer, it wasn’t. I now had access to the first names, last name, and email addresses of the 663,270 people who signed up for Kylie Jenner’s website. I then noticed that I could do the same API call across each of the websites and return the same exact data for each site. I also had the ability to create / destroy users, photos, videos, and more. It’s clear why this is a major issue, and raises the question: should users trust not only their personal information but also payment information with these apps?

Smith also discovered something that will surely shock the Instagram-Industrial Complex: Kim Kardashian is hugely eclipsed by her sister Kylie, who has distorted herself to not only resemble Big Kim, but overshadow her (online, at least):

User Stats (as of 09/15/2015 2:27 AM PST)

Kylie Jenner (thekyliejenner.com): 663,270 Users

Kim Kardashian (kimkardashianwest.com): 80,679 Users

Kendall Jenner (kendallj.com): 50,756 Users

Khloe Kardashian (khloewithak.com): 96,635 Users
Total Users: 891,340

Total Users: 891,340

One thing is for sure, only the Kardashians can drop apps out of no where with no prior promotion and amass nearly 1 million users in less than 24 hours. Their influence is undeniable, whether you think they should have the platform they do or not. Another thing that is also telling of this data, millennials want to be closer to their favorite people, artists, athletes and more than ever. There’s no coincidence that Kylie had ~828% more signups than Kim.

Almost equally interesting as the lack of trust you should place in Kardashian cyber initiatives is the speed at which their lawyers shut down Alaxic’s findings, Motherboard reports:

He published his findings on Medium, but has since taken the post down after being successfully forced into silence by the site’s developer, Whalerock Digital Media. (A cached version is still available.) Smith was also barred from speaking to the press.

It’s unclear how exactly he was “forced” into silence—I’ve reached out to Smith for comment. Until then, get your contouring tutorials at your own risk.

Photos: Getty, Screenshot: Alaxis Smith

Contact the author at biddle@gawker.com.
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Oh here is a good personal finance story for 20-something citizens: “If You Have Savings In Your 20s, You’re Doing Something Wrong.”

What we have here is a surprisingly lengthy “take” by one “Lauren Martin,” aged 20-something, which includes published sentences such as “I don’t know about you, but I like to enjoy my life. I like to go out to eat, buy clothes I don’t ‘need’ and spend money with friends on memorable nights out,” as well as, “When you’re 40, you’re not going to look back on your 20s and be grateful for the few thousand you saved. You’re going to be full of regret.” The title of this piece of writing is, as I said, “If You Have Savings In Your 20s, You’re Doing Something Wrong,” but it could just as well be titled “I Don’t Understand Compound Interest,” or “I Have an Independently Wealthy Family Happy to Fund My Youthful Calvacade of Foolishness,” or “Things I Will One Day Regret Having Written, Vol. [???].”

Gawker.com wholeheartedly endorses Lauren’s financial advice to 20-somethings, particularly the part that said “What memorable experience does money in the bank give you? How well-rounded can people become sitting at home, watching their limited funds gain interest?” All 20-somethings should mail their extra money to:

Someone Over the Age of 30
Gawker Media
114 5th Ave
New York, NY 10011

Don’t worry about anything you stupid idiots.

[Photo: Flickr]