Observing the machinations of the Kardashian-Jenners is not unlike watching a competitive ballgame. Though they are a close-knit family and prone to stick together as families do, there are also internal micro-struggles for supremacy, just as any group of siblings sustains a rivalry (in the parlance of psychoanalysis)—except in this instance, the rivalry is for that of admiration, fame, and free clothes on a global scale.

Kim Kardashian West is the most obvious starting player, having parlayed a styling career and an unfortunate entree into fame into a worldwide brand that included, last year, her debut Vogue cover. Kris Jenner, though, is always running neck-and-neck with her second-born, as momager and (some say devious) mastermind of the entire Kardashian-Jenner clan’s ensured longevity or, at the very least, sustainable wealth.

Yet the younger Jenners, just coming into their own, should not be slept on; Kendall has quickly made a name for herself as an in-demand, new-generation fashion model, while Kylie, just 18, is a reigning king of Instagram and has her whole future ahead of her. With recent-ish additions North West, Mason Disick, and their younger counterparts on the rise, there’s no telling how long the Kardashian-Jenners may reign as the royal family America deserves—but their dynastic hold on our imaginations now seems destined to span decades.

Still, the fight for most-recognized Kardashian-Jenner—in a family, and culture, that masterfully translates recognition into actual currency—is a constantly rotating fulcrum. It’s quantifiable, in the same way a college basketball tournament or the National Football League are quantifiable—by easily calculated points, albeit within a different rubric under less predictable terms. And because it’s quantifiable, there’s almost an unquenchable desire to do so, to keep score, same as the magnetic pull of the Kardashian-Jenners themselves has consumed our attention and fascination. On Keeping Up With the Kardashians, their outsized, paparazzi-documented lives are often such recognizable day-to-day banalities that our enthrallment is, in part, because we really want to believe they truly are just like us.

Hence, the debut draft for Jezebel’s first annual Fantasy Kardashian-Jenner League. It will be made up of five teams, with four Kardashian-Jenners to a team. They include Team Bible (Clover Hope), Team Bush & the Tush (Kate Dries), Team The Gross Fan (Bobby Finger), Team I Thought You Hate Hot Pink (Julianne Escobedo Shepherd) and finally, Team Nobody (Jia Tolentino).

Scoring will be based entirely on mentions of team members on five major gossip websites—TMZ, E!, Daily Mail, Bossip, and Radar—and will be tallied weekly until the Fantasy Kardashian-Jenner League Playoffs, held January 9, 2016 (the same day the NFL playoffs begin; a coincidence, to be sure).

The Draft

(determined by hat draw, calculated by standard snake draft)

Team Nobody

Round 1: Kylie Jenner

Round 2: Rob Kardashian

Round 3: Bambi and Norman Jenner (Kylie’s dogs)

Round 4: Reign Disick (youngest son of Kourtney and Scott)

I picked Kylie because I think she’s pretty, Rob because I’m interested in his sock business, the dogs for obvious reasons and the baby because he is my peer. -Jia Tolentino

Team Bible

Round 1: Kim Kardashian West

Round 2: Caitlyn Jenner

Round 3: Brody Jenner

Round 4: Leah Jenner

I picked the two names who are everywhere, plus Brody cause he’s hot. -Clover Hope

Team Bush & the Tush

Round 1: North West

Round 2: Kendall Jenner

Round 3: Corey Gamble

Round 4: Brandon Jenner

I chose based on a. who is popular now b. who I think will become popular c. who I got stuck with (Brandon Jenner). -Kate Dries

Team I Thought You Hate Hot Pink

Round 1: Scott Disick

Round 2: Kourtney Kardashian

Round 3: Mason Disick (eldest son of Kourtney and Scott)

Round 4: MJ Campbell (Kris Jenner’s mom)

I chose Disick first because he is fascinating and ruthless and because Kourtney is out here getting hers and Mason is their firstborn. MJ because she is a senior who, according to her daughter’s TV show, enjoys getting high. —Julianne Escobedo Shepherd

Team The Gross Fan

Round 1: Khloe Kardashian

Round 2: Kris Jenner

Round 3: Penelope Disick (daughter of Kourtney and Scott)

Round 4: Casey Jenner

Because I was unlucky enough to choose last, I was forced to pick the most famous of the leftovers. -Bobby Finger

The official point system is as follows:

Tabloid cover: 10 points

Monthly magazine cover: 20 points

Cover of non-US Vogue: 50 points

Cover of US Vogue: 100 points

Product shill on Instagram: -5 points

Rumored new romance: 5 points

New hairstyle: 5 points

Twitter fight: -10 points

Awards show red carpet appearance: 5 points

App makes $10 million: 1 point per $10 million

Arrested: -30 points

Point spread for other major developments (surprise pregnancy, surprise TV spin-off, etc) adjusted as necessary.

Contact the author at julianne@jezebel.com.

Illustration by Bobby Finger. Images via Getty.

The story about the events surrounding Kitty Genovese’s death, as most people know it, is a myth. It’s been over 50 years since her March 13, 1964, slaying, and so much has been written (often in attempt of correction) in the time since. Yet in many people’s heads, the story remains as it did in the opening paragraphs of Martin Gansberg’s March 27, 1964, New York Times story, “37 Who Saw Murder Didn’t Call the Police”:

For more than half an hour 38 respectable, law‐abiding citizens in Queens watched a killer stalk and stab a woman in three separate attacks in Kew Gardens.

Twice the sound of their voices and the sudden glow of their bedroom lights interrupted him and frightened him off. Each time he returned, sought her out and stabbed her again. Not one person telephoned the police during the assault; one wit­ness called after the woman was dead.

What haunted people more than the senseless death of a 28-year-old woman was the idea that a group of neighbors just watched a woman die for 30 minutes, unable to tear themselves from their windows. One witness’s explanation—“I didn’t want to get in­volved”—has reverberated since it was printed.

The supposed bystander apathy that accompanied the death of Genovese is attributed to inspiring the launch of the 911 emergency response system and good samaritan laws. It’s maybe why people in New York today tend to congregate around the slightest signs of distress—whenever I see someone passed out on the sidewalk, there are inevitably 15 people surrounding (many on their phones). New Yorkers may be in a perpetual self-involved hurry, but they’ll slow down if it seems worth their time. Helping others often falls into that category.

All of these effects are good things. The rub is that they’re based on a willful distortion of the truth. In a New Yorker story that ran last year to coincide with the 50th anniversary of Genovese’s death, Nicholas Lemann summarized the factual inaccuracies of the original Times piece:

The Times story was inaccurate in a number of significant ways. There were two attacks, not three. Only a handful of people saw the first clearly and only one saw the second, because it took place indoors, within the vestibule. The reason there were two attacks was that Robert Mozer, far from being a “silent witness,” yelled at Moseley when he heard Genovese’s screams and drove him away. Two people called the police. When the ambulance arrived at the scene—precisely because neighbors had called for help—Genovese, still alive, lay in the arms of a neighbor named Sophia Farrar, who had courageously left her apartment to go to the crime scene, even though she had no way of knowing that the murderer had fled.

Farrar appears in James Solomon’s The Witness, which will have its world premiere next week at the New York Film Festival. She also, according to the film, appeared in the original police report, though including her presence in the original Times story would have reduced its impact. The calls to the police Lemann mentions were not logged according to The Witness, though another witness who appears in the film, Haddie Grund, claims that she not only called the police when she heard the screams of Genovese, but she was told by the police, “We already got the call.”

The Witness points the blame at Gansberg’s editor A.M. Rosenthal for manipulating the story to sell papers. Rosenthal appears in The Witness and is as glib as he was in Jim Rasenberger’s update for the Times, “Kitty, 40 Years Later,” which ran February 8, 2004:

“In a story that gets a lot of attention, there’s always somebody who’s saying, ‘Well, that’s not really what it’s supposed to be,’” said Mr. Rosenthal, who is retired from The Times and now writes a column for The Daily News. There may have been minor inaccuracies, he allows, but none that alter the story’s essential meaning. “There may have been 38, there may have been 39,” he said, “but the whole picture, as I saw it, was very affecting.”

Thirty-eight, thirty-nine. No calls to the police, a few calls to the police. A woman who died alone, a woman who died in the arms of her friend. Who’s counting?

The Witness’s primary objective is not to chronicle the effect of Genovese’s murder on culture, but on one man: her brother, Bill Genovese. Bill was 16 when Kitty died and clearly hasn’t gotten over it. “It’s easily described as an obsession on my part,” he says. The film’s revelations are his revelations, as he tracks down reports, reporters, Kitty’s former lover (Mary Anne Zielonko), and the few witnesses who are still alive. The impact of Kitty’s death is written on Bill’s body—he lost both of his legs in Vietnam after enlisting in the Marines in 1966 so that he wouldn’t be an apathetic bystander, like the ones who he thought could have saved his sister.

“The choices he made were related to the fact that no one helped his sister,” says Bill’s wife Dale, and the most horrifying thing about The Witness is its portrait of mourning as a perpetual process. At least (and at last) Bill Genovese is using it for something constructive. The film documents dozens of meetings he has regarding his sister’s death. Sometimes the dead ends are as telling as the interviews: Kitty’s ex-husband declines to appear in the film, saying by email, “My relationship with Kitty shall remain a mystery.”

Even more bizarre is the correspondence Bill receives from Winston Moseley, the man convicted of killing Kitty. He’s serving a life sentence and repeatedly has admitted to the murder, but in his letter to Bill, he blames it on an “Italian mobster named Dominic.” Moseley claims he was merely the driver of the getaway car.

Before he receives Moseley’s letter, Bill sits down with Moseley’s reverend son, Steven, who says his family feared for his safety when he told them he’d be meeting Bill because of their incorrect assumption that he’s part of the Genovese crime family. Between that admission and Winston’s letter, you see that mafia fear being whispered down the lane within the Moseley family. The truth bends as soon as it hits the air.

“It’s hard to let go when you’ll never know the whole truth,” says Bill late into his narrative, and while he’s talking about his specific relationship to the death of his beloved sister, he’s also defining a human condition. Over 50 years later, Kitty Genovese’s story is more revelatory than ever.

Gawker will be covering this year’s New York Film Festival with dispatches in the form of quick reviews and interviews throughout the festival’s October 11 conclusion.

Food energy! Fossil colors! Marine sanctuaries! Tiny snails! Quantum computers! Dead seals! And two black holes, dancing in a sexy way! It’s your Tuesday Science Watch, where we watch science—more or less!

• “Study sheds light on powerful process that turns food into energy.” Really? What kind of light? Where is this shed? And furthermore, what is this “powerful process” we hear so much about? The shoddy headline doesn’t answer these or other questions—such as, “What kind of food?” or “How much energy?”

• For the first time ever paleontologists have used a fossil to figure out the color of an extinct mammal. Imagine a guy telling you that on a first date! “Oh, well, that’s great, you must be very proud of yourself, me I just work at the grocery store, though.” Save it, pal!

• Just what we need: a huge marine sanctuary in New Zealand. Just what we need. Yeah, that’s just what we need. <———————- NOT

• Would you believe me if I told you that we just discovered a snail species that’s only one-tenth the size of a needle’s eye? How about if I told you that I just talked to your wife on the phone, and don’t worry, everything is fine, but she needs some cash fast, and she asked me to ask you to give me your credit card number so I can make wire transfer to her? Would you believe that? And what about the snail thing—believe that, also?

• Another day, another new quantum computer for the jokers at NASA. One day these guys are gonna wake up and say, “Holy cow, I can’t even get in the office door—there’s quantum computers everywhere!” Nice sympathy trolling, guys. But take it somewhere else. Plenty of people don’t even have a single quantum computer. Meanwhile you’re supposed to be looking at planets.

• Scientists say that 80 Guadalupe fur seals have died on the central California coast this year, in what they are calling an “unusual mortality event.” Remember that song “Ring the Alarm?” Now would be a good time to play it. Maybe set up a dancehall DJ on a floating platform just offshore and drop the needle on that record right as the lead scientist walks out to announce his findings. After thirty seconds or so, fade the record out, because the people have come here primarily for the science. The record is an added bonus, not the star of the show.

• One black hole isn’t even worth writing about. Two black holes? Now you’re talking—because two black holes circling each other can create ripples in space time that (who knows?) could be “surfed” upon by some type of futuristic surfer being that we can’t even comprehend with our current minds. Try that with a single black hole and you’re in for a disappointment. There’s a lot of conjecture in what I’ve just written here, but isn’t that what science is defined as—conjection?
  

[Photo: Flickr]

Kristin Cavallari is currently pregnant with her third child (due by Defamer’s calculations in approximately 33 days) and a book called Balancing in Heels (due much, much later). While Kristin’s husband might be around for her book party, he’s not going to make the baby launch.

In a recent interview with AZcentral.com, Kristin revealed that her husband, Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler, “probably won’t be there” when she gives birth. She explained:

I’m pretty sure I’m going to be having this baby by myself. I’ve already come to terms with that. Well, my mom will be there, but Jay probably won’t be there. Luckily it’s the third one. If it were the first one, I’d be a little more nervous, but it’s the third one. My mom will be there. Hopefully it will be easy [and] I’ll be in and out. If he’s not there it will be unfortunate, but I don’t think I can say, “Babe, you can’t go to Green Bay or wherever you’re going to be, I need you home with me.” But it’s fine, it is what it is.

As Kristin said, she’s already come to terms with that.

This has been 500 Days of Kristin.

[Photo via Getty]

Gizmodo What Kinds of Life Forms Could Actually Live on Mars? | Jalopnik Ford’s ‘EcoBoost’ Is Just A Really Good Marketing Scheme | Jezebel Welcome to Our First Annual Fantasy Kardashian-Jenner League Draft | Lifehacker The Lifehacker Work Playlists: Your Ideal Music for Getting Things Done | Kinja Popular Posts

Kelly Gissendaner, the sole female inmate on Georgia’s death row, will be executed Tuesday evening, 18 years after she plotted the murder of her husband.

Gissendaner will be the first woman to be executed in the state in the past 70 years (and the 16th woman executed in the United States since 1976), after numerous attempts to stay the execution failed. She is scheduled to receive a lethal injection at 7 pm at the Georgia Diagnostic and Classification Prison in Jackson.

The prison’s decision comes just days after Pope Francis called for her commutation through a letter written by an archbishop.

“While not wishing to minimize the gravity of the crime for which Ms. Gissendaner has been convicted, and while sympathizing with the victims, I nonetheless implore you, in consideration of the reasons that have been expressed to your board, to commute the sentence to one that would better express both justice and mercy,” wrote Archbishop Caro Maria Vigano.

Others have come to her defense, citing her impeccable behavior in prison and her relative distance from the crime: Gregory Owen, the boyfriend who actually carried out the kidnapping and murder, only received a life sentence.

Gissendaner’s three children have also asked that her life be spared. Other members of Douglas Gissendaner’s family, however, remain steadfastly in favor of the execution.

“As the murderer, she’s been given more rights and opportunity over the last 18 years than she ever afforded to Doug who, again, is the victim here,” the family wrote in a statement. “She had no mercy, gave him no rights, no choices, nor the opportunity to live his life. His life was not hers to take.”

In a statement, the State Board of Pardons and Parolees said:

“After carefully considering the request for reconsideration, and meeting with Gissendaner’s representatives again today, the Board has voted to let the decision of February 25, 2015, denying clemency stand...

In reaching its decision, the Board thoroughly reviewed all information and documents pertaining to the case, including the latest information presented by Gissendaner’s representatives. To date, the Board has reviewed the parole case on file on Gissendaner and three clemency applications in the case: the original application and two applications requesting the Board reconsider its decision to deny clemency. Gissendaner’s conviction and sentence have been upheld throughout the appeals process. Gissendaner’s appeal to the United States Supreme Court was denied on October 6, 2014.”

For her last meal, Gissendaner requested chips and cheese dip, Texas fajita nachos, and a diet frosted lemonade.

Contact the author at joanna@jezebel.com.

Image via AP.

A complicated weather pattern will likely dump tons of rain on the East Coast later this week and this weekend. A wide range of possibilities could unfold—stretching from scattered showers to the unlikely event of a hurricane threatening land—so just about everyone who lives east of the Appalachian Mountains needs to watch the forecast closely.

The Actors

Meteorologists seem to have settled into the “lots of moving parts” cliché to explain this complicated weather pattern, as one little change here or there could result in a large shift in what happens later this week. It’s the butterfly effect in action.

Here are the major features we’re dealing with at the moment:

1) Tropical Storm Joaquin strengthening near the Bahamas

2) Plumes of tropical moisture streaming up the East Coast

3) A low pressure system that’s currently developing over the Mid-Atlantic

4) A sharpening upper-level trough approaching the East Coast

5) A strengthening jet stream

The way that these features come together will dictate what kind of weather we see on the East Coast between Thursday and Sunday, and who gets the worst of whatever happens.

1) Tropical Storm Joaquin

The most serious part of the equation at the moment is Tropical Storm Joaquin, a strengthening cyclone that’s spinning a few hundred miles east of the Bahamas at this hour.

Since (up until now) it’s been a weak storm in a weird environment, the models have had a hard time figuring out what it will do. We’ve seen this play out several times this year, most notably with Tropical Storm Erika back in August.

The model spread is large right now—some have it hitting various points on the East Coast, while others show it moving harmlessly out to sea—and the National Hurricane Center keeps reiterating that confidence in the storm’s future track is “very low.”

The above map shows the NHC’s thinking as of 5:00 PM Eastern Time; Joaquin strengthened quite a bit between this morning and this evening, up to 65 MPH from 45 MPH six hours earlier. This strengthening trend will continue over the next few days as wind shear lets up, and Joaquin will likely be a hurricane by this time tomorrow.

2/3) Tropical Moisture and a Developing Low

The system playing out over land today and tomorrow will be the first significant thump of rain in the forecast.

For the past couple of days, a tropical disturbance hanging out on the northern Gulf Coast has produced extremely heavy rainfall in southern Alabama and the Florida Panhandle. The disturbance is now over land and has a zero percent chance of developing into something more, but it continues feeding tropical moisture far to the north.

Meanwhile, we have a developing low pressure system in the Mid-Atlantic that’s creating a large area of heavy showers and thunderstorms. The rain will probably get heavier as the low gets its act together and moves toward the Northeast.

Given the tropical influence of the air mass in place over the region (air you can wear!), the showers and thunderstorms can tap into the deep reserve of moisture in the atmosphere and pour like crazy. As such, flash flood watches are in effect across many of the areas seeing the heaviest rain. In areas covered by the watch, the ground is already saturated from recent rains, so it’ll only take one sustained downpour to overwhelm natural and man-made water systems and trigger rapid flooding.

4/5) Cold Fronts, Jet Streams, and Joaquin

This is where it starts to get really tricky.

Above is a look at this morning’s run of the GFS model, showing a sharp trough in the jet stream over the East Coast. In fact, this model run kicks Joaquin out to sea, one of the many solutions models are showing today.

This morning’s run of the European model shows a similar situation, strengthening Joaquin into an intense hurricane near the Bahamas before the trough quite literally kicks it out to sea, sending it perilously close to Bermuda before heading into open waters.

However, even though both models send Joaquin out into the ocean, they also both show unbelievable amounts of precipitation across the Carolinas, Mid-Atlantic, and Northeast thanks to the combination of a stalled cold front, the development of a nor’easter-type storm, and a persistent ribbon of tropical moisture feeding into the region.

If Joaquin comes closer to the East Coast and merges with the cold front to turn into a sort of hybrid cyclone, it could exacerbate rainfall totals, not to mention the effects of wind and coastal issues (flooding, waves, rip currents, erosion).

Timing and Impacts

Rain. Rain rain rain.

If one of the stormy scenarios unfolds, the greatest impact will be extremely heavy rain that leads to widespread flooding starting on Thursday and lasting through the weekend. Above is the latest forecast from the Weather Prediction Center showing how much rain they expect to fall over the next seven days. Keep in mind that this is a generalization—some areas will see more or less depending on the exact track of storms.

This forecast itself will likely change (probably dramatically) as models and meteorologists get a better sense of exactly what will happen later this week. As it stands, the WPC seems to expect the storm(s) to hug the shore, producing a large area of five or more inches of rain—areas immediately along the coast from Virginia Beach to Bangor could see seven or more inches of rain, which would cause extensive problems if it comes to fruition.

Meteorologists are working feverishly to get more data to ingest into these models. The National Hurricane Center has scheduled several hurricane hunter missions to fly into Joaquin, and there are a couple of NOAA Gulfstream jets ready to fly into the upper atmosphere to give us a better read on what could happen. The National Weather Service will also launch special weather balloon soundings from all launch locations east of the Mississippi River to aid in our understanding of the pattern and to give models more data to work with.

If you live in any of the states along the East Coast, it would be a good idea to keep up with Joaquin’s whereabouts and stay on top of rainfall forecasts and flood alerts for your area. If you’re expecting heavy rain, make sure no roads along your route to work/school/church/the store flood during major rainfall events. It only takes one foot of moving water to sweep a vehicle off a road. The majority of people who die in floods die in their vehicles after trying to drive across a flooded roadway. Don’t risk your life and the lives of your rescuers because you thought you could make it.

[Images: author, NOAA, GR Earth, Tropical Tidbits]

Email: dennis.mersereau@gawker.com | Twitter: @wxdam

My new book, The Extreme Weather Survival Manual, comes out in one week! You can pre-order it now from Amazon.

Remember when Ben Carson said, “I would not advocate that we put a Muslim in charge of this nation. I absolutely would not agree with that” and some people were like, “Haha, what a dope—hasn’t that guy ever heard of the Constitution, which explicitly states ‘no religious test’ will ever be applied to anyone running for public office in these United States?”

Joke’s on you, rational individuals! Turns out Republican voters in North Carolina were into it.

According to a poll released Tuesday, by the Public Policy Polling, 72 percent of North Carolina Republicans believe a Muslim should not be allowed to be President of the United States. Twelve percent aren’t sure.

The state’s Republican voters were marginally more open minded on the issue of whether or not Islam itself should be outlawed—40 percent said it should, 40 percent said it shouldn’t, and 20 percent were, like “I’m sorry, are you calling about the Craigslist ad? Someone came and got the lawnmower yesterday.”

As for Carson, he raised “about $6-700,000” in donations after that “controversial” appearance on Meet the Press, according to Carson’s communications director. Call it the “bigotry bump”; campaign officials estimate it accounted for more than six percent of Carson’s $10 million haul this month.

The thought was too extreme for Donald Trump, who told Fox News he would support a Muslim being president “If properly vetted...I think that anybody that is able to win an election will be absolutely fine.”

According to the poll, Trump still leads the Republican field in North Carolina, with Carson trailing by about 5 percentage points—21 percent compared to Trump’s 26.

UPDATED 8:34 p.m.: The post has been updated to reflect the fact that the questions regarding Muslims and Islam were asked only to Republican voters.

[Image via AP]

South Dakota’s Santee Sioux tribe will fulfill a longstanding dream of highDEAS.com user JabiousForever and legions of stoners everywhere by opening the nation’s first marijuana resort by the end of the year.

The Santee Sioux are looking to supplement the income they bring in from an existing hotel and a buffalo ranch with a grow operation. They’re already at work, cultivating some 30 strains of weed that they plan to sell for $12.50 to $15 a gram.

Once the grow operation is firmly in place, the tribe plans to open a smoking lounge with a nightclub, arcade games, bars and a restaurant. Slot machines and an outdoor music venue will follow at some point down the road.

“We want it to be an adult playground,” tribal President Anthony Reider told the Associated Press. “There’s nowhere else in America that has something like this.”

The tribe, which is projecting profit margins of $2 million a month, hopes to open by December 31.

The grow operation and resort were both made possible by a Justice Department memo circulated in 2014 that discouraged U.S. attorneys from prosecuting tribes who grow weed on sovereign lands. There’s some doubt though, about whether those guidelines would remain in effect under a new administration.

[Image via AP]

According to a lengthy press release put out by Kim Davis’ attorney, the Pope squeezed some time into his busy schedule last week for a one-on-one meeting with everyone’s least favorite (and notably non-Catholic!) county clerk, Kim Davis. During which, the Pope reportedly thanked Kim “for her courage” and told her to “stay strong.”

http://gawker.com/anti-gay-marri...

From the Liberty Counsel’s release:

Pope Francis also told Kim Davis, “Stay strong. He held out his hands and asked Kim to pray for him. Kim held his hands and said, “I will. Please pray for me,” and the Pope said he would. The two embraced. The Pontiff presented Kim and Joe Davis each with a Rosary that he personally blessed. Kim’s mother and father are Catholic, and Kim and Joe will present the Rosaries to her parents.

For her part, Kim Davis was apparently shocked and delighted to discover that the Pope was one of her many adoring fans. “I was humbled to meet Pope Francis,” she said. “Of all people, why me? I never thought I would meet the Pope. Who am I to have this rare opportunity? I am just a County Clerk who loves Jesus and desires with all my heart to serve him.”

Who is she—just a County Clerk who loves Jesus and desires with all her heart to serve him—to have this rare opportunity, indeed? That is a great question—and one for which we are still waiting on an answer. Gawker has reached out to the Vatican for confirmation on this rarest of meet-and-greets, and will update when and if we hear back.

In the meantime, some quick detective works shows us that, according to Twitter, the Pope was busy from early morning until he left his final stop in DC on the 24 (the day of their purported meeting) at around 12:47 p.m.

According to the Pope’s official itinerary, his flight to New York arrived at 5 p.m., which means his plane most likely took off at around 3:40 p.m. This would leave the the Pope and Kim maybe some time for a secret rendezvous—particularly if they chose to hold their meeting at the airport itself. On the other hand, that is an awfully tight window.

But then again, who are we to question this humble County Clerk who loves Jesus and desires with all her heart to serve him? Let he that is without sin among you cast the first kinja.

[h/t CBS]

Contact the author at ashley@gawker.com. Image via Getty.

America’s self-styled “Toughest Sheriff” has a bit of a problem with authority, according to his ex-lawyer.

Tim Casey, who was once the head of a legal team tasked with defending Arpaio against racial profiling charges, said today that he dropped Arpaio as a client because the Maricopa County Sheriff couldn’t handle “being told what to do.”

Arpaio is presently facing civil contempt-of-court charges in Arizona. Plaintiffs’ attorneys allege that his deputies continued controversial immigration-enforcement practices even after a federal judge deemed those practices illegal and ordered Arpaio to stop.

Casey testified on Tuesday that he had no less than three conversations explaining the judge’s order to Arpaio. “We’ve got to make sure HSU [human-smuggling unit] understands this right away,” Casey remembers saying.

HSU didn’t get the message right away. In fact, as many as 18 months may have gone by before the department came in compliance with the court order.

Casey told the court he was “floored” when he found out deputies were still profiling. The Arizona Republic reports he dropped Arpaio as a client not long after.

Throughout the trial, Arpaio has maintained that he never intentionally defied the judge’s orders. If the judge finds he did, the sheriff could face criminal charges, and, potentially, jail time.

[Image via AP]

Who’s a good boy? Definitely not the Yorkshire terrier who recently drove his owner’s pickup truck into a lake after being put in timeout.

Police in Ellsworth, Maine had to rescue the Yorkie from Branch Lake on Saturday, the Associated Press reports, after the dog “bumped” its owner’s Chevrolet Silverado into gear, “causing it to roll about 75 feet into the lake, and bounce off a rock before sinking in roughly 10 feet of water.”

The dog’s owner put him in the truck after it had an “encounter” with another dog during a walk by the lake. His owner was speaking with the owner of the other dog when the Yorkie took off in his pickup.

“The truck was fully submerged and without the quick response of the family friend the man would have lost his companion. She is a hero in my book,” Ellsworth Police Department said on a Facebook.

[Top image via Shutterstock, bottom image via the Ellsworth Police Department]

Despite repeated appeals and calls for amnesty from her children and the Pope, Georgia executed a female inmate for the first time in 70 years early Wednesday morning.

Kelly Gissendaner, the only woman on Georgia’s death row, was sentenced after she was found guilty of convincing her boyfriend, Gregory Owen, to kill her husband in 1997. The plot, via ABC:

Owen and Kelly Gissendaner discussed killing Douglas Gissendaner “on four or five occasions, all at [Kelly] Gissendaner’s initiation, before reaching a final agreement to kill him,” according to Georgia’s Attorney General’s office.

“It was agreed that, on Feb. 7, 1997, while [Kelly] Gissendaner was out with friends, co-defendant Owen would kill Douglas. The murder went exactly as Gissendaner planned,” the office of the Attorney General said.

Owen hit Douglas Gissendaner on the back of the head and then stabbed him in the neck eight to ten times, according to the Attorney General’s Office.

It was the third try for Georgia, which had reportedly cancel previous attempts to execute Gissendaner due to inclement weather and “cloudy” lethal injection drugs.

According to CNN, family members had to choose between launching a last-ditch final appeal or being on hand to witness the execution. And they weren’t the only ones trying to get a stay: a letter, written on behalf of the pope, was also sent the Georgia State Board of Pardons and Parolees:

“While not wishing to minimize the gravity of the crime for which Ms. Gissendaner has been convicted, and while sympathizing with the victims, I nonetheless implore you, in consideration of the reasons that have been presented to your Board, to commute the sentence to one that would better express both justice and mercy,” the letter read.

Gissendaner died at 12:21 a.m. Wednesday. Her last meal was cheese dip with chips, Texas fajita nachos and a diet frosted lemonade, and she was reportedly singing the song “Amazing Grace” as the lethal injection was administered.

Image via CNN. Contact the author at gabrielle@gawker.com.

At least seven women living in a Baltimore housing project were forced to trade sexual favors in exchange for basic home repairs from maintenance workers, according to a lawsuit filed this week in the Baltimore Federal Court.

Courthouse News Service reports that the 34-page complaint detailed the sex acts allegedly demanded by Gilmor Homes maintenance supervisor Clinton Coleman and his employees before simple repairs for electrical problems, gas leaks, and pest infestations would be made.

“These Housing Authority employees routinely harass and abuse the vulnerable women in public housing,” the suit alleges. “These defendants are subjecting the tenants to life-threatening living conditions, including but not limited to: mold, lack of heat, rodent and insect infestations and risk of electrocution. These victims are too poor to move and relocate their families.”

The Baltimore Sun highlights several of the allegations:

One woman alleged disability discrimination. The 54-year-old woman needs a cane to walk, but said she can’t get the maintenance crew to install a ramp in her home or handholds in her bathroom.

The woman said that when she moved into the complex last year, a maintenance worker told her he wouldn’t make repairs to her unit unless he gave her “some booty.”

About six months ago, she said, the same worker came to her house after a male visitor left and told her, “I see your boyfriend just left, can I get a turn?”

“I rejected his advances and he left without doing any of the long-outstanding work in my home,” the woman wrote in an affidavit.

Another woman, a 33-year-old single mother, said she succumbed to Coleman’s pressure and performed oral sex and later intercourse. She said in an affidavit that Coleman exposed himself to her in his office. She said she gave in to his demands because she was “shocked, young, scared, fleeing an abusive relationship and worried about the health and safety of my daughter.”

The suit claims that Housing Commissioner Paul Graziano was made aware of allegations but ignored them. Graziano has since called the allegations “extremely disturbing,” according to Tania Baker, a spokeswoman for Housing Authority of Baltimore City (HABC), who added that organization is conducting an internal investigation into the alleged crimes and “considers any employee actions that would subject its residents to sexual abuse or sexual harassment to be reprehensible.”

The lawsuit, which was filed Monday, is seeking $10 million in damages.

Image via Google Maps. Contact the author at taylor@gawker.com.

As every website has been attempting to inform you since 2012, copy-pasting several paragraphs of dense legal voodoo onto your Facebook wall does not somehow exempt you from the terms of service that bind all Facebook users. If Facebook decides it wants to start using your content in some way you don’t like, your legal options include: don’t put that content on Facebook. Or: stop using Facebook altogether. If you won’t believe us, please believe John Oliver.

Here’s a Facebook-only video Oliver made to address the meme that just refuses to quit, despite the fact that “this meme is a useless hoax” was the top news story in the U.S. yesterday. Please take it from a funny comedian who is also one of the biggest renewable traffic sources in the Facebook blogowhatever: stop it.

Although it’s worse than actually doing nothing, the copyright boilerplate hoax does express Facebook users’ sincere desire to control their own information and protect their privacy. What can they do about that, John Oliver?

“The only true way to protect your content on Facebook is by posting THIS video.”

And Mark Zuckerberg agrees, so you know this is information you can trust:

[Last Week Tonight/Facebook]

Today, the state of Oklahoma plans to administer a lethal injection to Richard Glossip for his alleged role in the 1997 murder of Barry Van Treese. Glossip has insisted that he was framed for the crime ever since it was perpetrated nearly two decades ago, and there’s compelling evidence that he may be telling the truth.

UPDATE (5:10 p.m.): Oklahoma Governor Mary Fallin issued a last-minute stay on Glossip’s execution, citing questions about potassium acetate, one of its lethal injection drugs. Glossip’s execution is now scheduled for November 6.

Prosecutors do not allege that Glossip killed Van Treese, who owned the Oklahoma City Best Budget Inn where Glossip worked at the time. Justin Sneed, another Best Budget employee, admitted to killing his employer with a baseball bat in Room 102 of the inn, but claimed that Glossip paid him to do it.

Sneed is currently serving a life sentence in an Oklahoma prison, and two men who spent time with him there believe that he fabricated his allegations against Glossip. Joseph Tapley, who once shared a cell with Sneed, has said that he believes Sneed killed Van Treese on his own, for the money (Sneed admitted to taking $4,000 from the hotelier’s car after the killing); and Michael Scott, who had the cell across the hall, claims that Sneed openly bragged about framing Glossip in order to escape the death penalty himself.

In February, the Supreme Court postponed Glossip’s execution amid questions about Oklahoma’s lethal injection procedure. This afternoon, minutes before the scheduled execution, the Court declined an appeal from Glossip’s legal team to stay the execution so that a case might be made for his innocence. Only Justice Breyer dissented. Glossip’s attorneys also appealed to the Oklahoma Court of Appeals, which declined to rehear Glossip’s case, and to Oklahoma Governor Mary Fallin, who has previously stated that lawyers have “no credible evidence of Richard Glossip’s innocence.”

http://gawker.com/a-letter-from-...

Glossip wrote a letter to Gawker in February, after the initial postponement, as part of a series of letters from death row inmates. In it, he proclaimed his own innocence. It reads in part:

There has never been any evidence against me (physical or other) to connect me to any of (Mr. Sneed’s) accounts of what happened. I was convicted solely on the self serving testimony of (Justin Sneed) who is the sole reason I am here on death row.

A slew of high-profile figure have asked Governor Fallin to stay the execution. A MoveOn petition started by the Catholic nun and anti-death penalty activist Sister Helen Prejean and Susan Sarandon, who once portrayed Prejean onscreen, has nearly 250,000 signatures as of this writing, and Pope Francis pled for mercy for Glossip earlier this month.

Image via Oklahoma Department of Corrections. Contact the author at andy@gawker.com.

The biggest problem with Hillary Clinton’s off-the-books email server isn’t the affront to transparency, but the incalculable national security risk it presented. A newly released email from Clinton’s State Department days shows the prospect of Chinese infiltration was literally a joke to her.

http://gawker.com/how-unsafe-was...

In the below exchange, Clinton and State staffer Nora Toiv discuss Toiv’s own use of unsanctioned, non-governmental email—a personal Gmail account:

Haha! The Chinese! Luckily the threat of Chinese hackers to the U.S. government is strictly in the realm of the hypothetical.

Contact the author at biddle@gawker.com.
Public PGP key
PGP fingerprint: E93A 40D1 FA38 4B2B 1477 C855 3DEA F030 F340 E2C7

Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we’re asked to go on HLN and speak to Yasmin Vossoughian about Edward Snowden, but instead talk about Christine Ouzounian without her even realizing it.

This week: Jennifer Garner is pregnant again (whoops!), Kim Kardashian was dumped (yikes!), Khloe had $5,000,000 makeover (whoa!), Julia Roberts was dumped (wahh!), and Jennifer Aniston was dumped (she’s probably fine). Sad week!

OK, let’s get this over with.

OK!

JEN & BEN PREGNANT!

Jen and Ben are pregnant! Both of them! Well, no, actually just one of them. Can you guess which? WRONG! It’s Jen. Jen is pregnant, Ben is the father, and that thing growing inside her was conceived after one of their “frequent family dinners in mid-August.” After spending their post-divorce months hooking up on the reg (OK! calls this “ex-sex,” which, I must admit, is a good one), they’re now expecting another child, and—if the sources are to be believed—will soon reconcile and be man and wife once more. Looks like the Summer of Splits is leading to an Autumn of Atonement.

Oh god, Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott (not Dylan McDermott or Dermot Mulroney) are broke because Tori won’t stop spending money they don’t have. If you’ll recall, she “got only $800,000 of her dad Edward Scissorhands’s $600 million fortune when he died,” and she’s gone through it all faster than you can say “Dean McDermott, not Dylan McDermott or Dermot Mulroney.” Their credit cards are “maxed out” and Dean recently “lost his gig as the host of the Canadian version of Chopped,” which must be one of the saddest things that’s ever happened to anyone. Fortunately, she’s “seeking more than $25,000 in damages” from the “unfortunate accident” at Benihana that left her badly burned. What peculiar lives Tori and Dean lead.

This is great. This is just great. While Justin was away filming The Leftovers, his wife Jennifer Aniston “got in the habit of inviting Chelsea [Handler] over for boozy sleepovers.” But even though he’s home again, the sleepovers haven’t stopped. Justin “has always found the comedian obnoxious” and is sick of her “dropping by” their house “unannounced” and sleeping in their guest room. Recently, Justin walked in on her “making breakfast nude” and decided to start “laying down the law.” This is the reality show that could kill the golden age of scripted TV, people.

And Also:

• Julia Roberts is “leaning on Kiefer” to get through her marriage drama.
  
• Nikki Reed and Ian Somerhalder, two people I regularly forget about, will soon forget they were ever married.
• Kris Jenner wants to set Rob Kardashian up with Selena Gomez, who has no say in the matter.
• Margot Robbie is going to break up with a man I’ve never heard of very soon.
• Jennifer Lawrence wants Liam Hemsworth to want her, for some reason.
• Gisele does not trust Tom. Neither do I, Gisele!

Grade: C- (Chelsea Handler’s in your kitchen naked and she’s not even making you breakfast.)

Life & Style

KIM IN SHOCK: DUMPED WHILE 7 MONTHS PREGNANT

I know the tabloids have been saying this for years, but this time it’s official: Kanye dumped Kim. “Long-simmering issues” between them have finally “exploded” and they are “headed for divorce.” See, the problem is that Kanye is always out of town, which bugs Kim. Or maybe the problem is that he apparently parties a lot, which makes Kim “nervous.” But maybe Kim thinks “she’s so big” that he’s “less attracted to her.” Actually, this entire piece is a mess and reads like a “Best Of” list from tabloids past. I have no idea what led to their explosive fight, but you’d better believe me when I tell you they’re over. Sorry, America.

But let’s move on to people who are just beginning: Sandra Bullock and Bryan Randall. They’re engaged because attending Jennifer and Justin’s wedding “inspired Bryan to propose.” Life & Style has all the fake details of the alleged nuptials, and lemme tell ya: they went hard on this little fanfiction spread.

• Matthew McConaughey and Camila Alves “are on the guest list.” (No one else is named, so they must be the only attendees.)
  
• Louis will be the ring bearer. Or, as Life & Style says, “Louis: Cutest. Ring Bearer. Ever.”)
• Edward Scissorhands will take care of the landscape design.
• The wedding will be at “her rustic home in Wyoming,” which “provides plenty of privacy.” (Wyoming weddings are so hot now!)
• Sandra’s dress will be made of a “lightweight fabric” that will “allow her to dance the night away!”

How odd that was to read, and how odd it must have been to write.

And Also:

• Jon Hamm wants “to win back” Jennifer Westfeldt.
• Carrie Ann Inaba, a woman I’ve never heard of, is feuding with Julianne Hough, a woman I’ve heard of but could not describe to you in a sentence.
• Gwyneth wanted to be in the movie version of Downton Abbey and everyone at Downton Abbey was like, “Thanks but nah!”
• Kate Gosselin will never date again!
• Drew Barrymore and Nicole Richie are fighting over who gets to plan Cameron Diaz’s baby shower because, some weeks, the tabloids decide to print things that make no sense.
• Kate Middleton wants Harry to “ditch” Cressida Bonas.
• If you don’t wear ‘70s platform shoes, don’t bother even existing in this decade.

Wrong Answer:

Grade: D+ (Drew Barrymore and Nicole Richie are fighting over planning your baby shower.)

In Touch

JULIA & JEN: DIVORCE BOMBSHELLS!

OK, this won’t take long. Justin Theroux and Jennifer Aniston are divorcing, and Julia Roberts and Danny Moder are divorcing. Why, you ask? Because it was their time. The gods of love looked down on the landfill of Los Angeles during one of those smog-free days and said, “No. This is where it ends for these four. It is time for them to move on and find happiness in the arms of others.” Wow. I can hardly believe it.

Another thing I can’t believe is that Josh Duggar apparently had sex with MORE THAN ONE porn star! The woman, whose name has not been revealed, claims she “hooked up with Josh” and that, you know what? No. I’m not going to keep doing this one.

Please take a long, hard look at this gem from In Touch’s interview with Arnold Schwarzenegger:

And Also:

• Scott Disick is probably “drunk, high, and alone with the kids” right now.
• Shawn Booth and Kaitlyn Bristowe are “sleeping in separate beds,” because their “romance is a lie.” Also because Edward Scissorhands poked a hole in their waterbed with his scissorfinger, thereby rendering it unusable.
• Selena Gomez keeps having panic attacks, and it’s probably because of Justin Bieber. Justin Bieber, by the way, is the worst reason for any panic attack.
• Taraji P. Henson hates Terrence Howard because she has two eyes, two ears, a functioning brain.
• Wear burgundy or I’ll throw Burgundy all over your non-burgundy outfit.

Wrong Answer:

Grade: C+ (Edward Scissorhands pokes a hole in your waterbed with his scissorfinger.)

Star:

KHLOE’S $3 MILLION MAKEOVER

Khloé Kardashian, the Kardashian-Jenner sister with the irritating accent mark I often choose not to use because it feels like a waste of time, has a very expensive body. Sources tell Star the app mogul has “spent close to $3 million on her makeover,” and it has made her “more confident than she has ever been.” In addition to a $130,000-a-year personal trainer, Khloé has spent money on a “nose job, breast implants, a Brazilian butt-lift, and liposuction.” She has yet to have the accent mark surgically removed.

Because this is a very bad issue of Star, the next big story is about Nick Carter. Apparently he’s clean and sober, which is always good news. Unfortunately, it’s not terribly interesting news.

Moving on - oh wait, actually...there’s nothing good left. Well, apart from this headline:

And Also:

• Reese Witherspoon slimmed down because working with Nicole Kidman on an upcoming TV series made her self-conscious.
  
• Scott Disick “hired a stock market tutor” because he wants to learn the ins and outs of Wall Street.
• Edward Scissorhands was seen canoodling with Winona Ryder.
• Nicole Richie and Joel Madden haven’t had sex in a while, which feels like a strange thing for me to know and share with all of you.
• Jason Derulo “is” “in” “love” “with” “Tori” “Kelly.”

Wrong Answer:

Grade: F (You feel the need to make life decisions based on Nicole Kidman’s weight.)

Appendix:

Fig. 1 - In Touch

Contact the author at bobby@jezebel.com.

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson announced some horribly sad news Monday night: BRUTUS, the French Bulldog puppy he adopted and subsequently rescued from drowning in his outdoor pool, has died. This news is not baller. It is, in fact, the saddest thing to befall The Rock in the recent history of his joyful, baller-ass life, which he always lives to the fullest.

http://gawker.com/the-rock-saves...

BRUTUS, who just could not stay out of trouble, got into some poisonous mushrooms while playing outside with his all-caps Frenchie brother, HOBBS, the Rock wrote. And despite the efforts of The Rock and veterinarians to save him, the toxins were too much for BRUTUS’s tiny li’l dog liver to take.

The Rock and his longtime girlfriend and future baby-mama, Lauren Hashian, decided to take BRUTUS off life support after running out of other options.

“You’ll always be my lil main man and rough housing Brute ... #WishICouldHaveSavedYouOneMoreTime,” The Rock wrote on Instagram, in perhaps the only recorded instance of a hashtag eliciting genuine human feelings of sadness and loss. Even ballers gotta cry sometimes.

BRUTUS spent his short life “wrestling and biting the shit outta my hands and happily peeing on my Jordans,” the Rock wrote in an earlier Instagram post. Now BRUTUS is in Heaven, peeing on God’s Jordans with the other angels.

BRUTUS is survived by HOBBS, the one who knows how to swim. Please take good care of him, The Rock.

[The Rock/Instagram]

Oklahoma Governor Mary Fallin has issued a last-minute stay on the execution of Richard Glossip, a man who was slated to be killed today, citing questions about one of its lethal injection drugs. Glossip’s execution is now slated for November 6.

Contact the author at andy@gawker.com.