With heaping plate of candied yams Donald Trump and Stabbity Ben Carson still leading the chase for the GOP nomination as we head into the holiday season, members of the party establishment are becoming so fearful of ending up with a novelty candidate that they’re considering a last-ditch effort to draft Mitt Romney as their nominee, the Washington Post reports.

The party’s big-money donors have mostly stayed on the sidelines thus far, the Post reports, because a moderate, actually electable candidate has yet to emerge from the pack nipping at Trump and Carson’s heels.

Could Romney be the serious man who would out-gravitas the wacky Trump or Carson head-to-head? Probably not, but that apparently hasn’t stopped some unnamed party insiders from drawing up plans to break open his glass box and use him to put out the raging hairspray-fire that is Donald Trump if necessary.

The Post reports:

Friends have mapped out a strategy for a late entry to pick up delegates and vie for the nomination in a convention fight, according to the Republicans who were briefed on the talks, though Romney has shown no indication of reviving his interest.

Aside from the obvious problems with this Plan Z—Romney failed in a general election just four years ago, after letting Democrats paint him as a stiff, out-of-touch plutocrat—there’s the issue of whether Romney would even answer the call if asked.

On one hand, he’s not especially busy. His most notable public act since his 2012 defeat was a charity boxing match against Evander Holyfield back in May. On the other, he has said repeatedly that he would not run again.

“After putting considerable thought into making another run for president, I’ve decided it is best to give other leaders in the Party the opportunity to become our next nominee,” Romney told supporters in January.

He said in the same statement that he believed he was capable of winning the nomination, though. Hmm!

[Photo: AP]

Thursday evening a woman went overboard during the first night of the Mad Decent Boat Party, a cruise-based dance party headlined by Skrillex and Diplo. Cruise Norwegian, which is hosting the four-day event, says the woman jumped from the ship just after 7 pm when the boat was about 22 miles off the coast of Cuba.

“A female guest was observed intentionally going overboard while the ship was sailing in the Yucatan Channel,” the cruise company said in a statement. “The ship’s crew immediately initiated rescue measures, including deploying three rescue boats and notifying the Coast Guard and other relevant authorities.”

CNN reports that the U.S. Coast Guard sent a plane and patrol boat to aide in the search. As of this morning, the search is still ongoing.

UPDATE 12:12 pm: The woman may have leapt to her death after losing a “twerk-off.” From NBC Miami:

Speaking exclusively with NBC 6, Graham Hansen, who knows the woman, says he spoke with a mutual friend of theirs who was also on board that cruise.

“She and some other girl who was calling herself the twerk queen were having a twerk-off, “ Hansen told NBC 6 via phone. “Twerk queen started twerking on her (the missing woman’s) boyfriend, and it caused some sort of issue between the two of them.”

The woman reportedly jumped from the ship not long after the dance contest escalated. Hansen says their mutual friend on board the ship is “completely and totally mortified.”

Image via AP. Contact the author at taylor@gawker.com.

Yesterday, the President of the United States had the gall to stand behind a podium and assert that he is not the lead singer of Korn, despite evidence to the contrary. Yeah right, Mr. President. If you’re not the lead singer of Korn, where’s the paperwork?

Barack Obama’s unsupported denial came at a Medal of Honor ceremony for Army Captain Florent Groberg, an American hero—hardly an appropriate venue for the president’s attempt to tamper the mounting speculation against him. Watch him try to talk his way out of the truth below.

The key passage of the president’s speech:

A little more than three years ago, as Captain Florent Groberg was recovering from his wounds as a consequence of the actions that we honor today, he woke up on a hospital bed in a little bit of a haze. He wasn’t sure, but he thought that he was in Germany, and someone was at his bedside talking to him And he thought that it was the lead singer from the heavy metal band Korn. Flo thought, “What’s going on? Am I hallucinating?” But he wasn’t, it was all real.

And so, today, Flo, I want to assure you that you are not hallucinating. You are actually in the White House, those cameras are on, I am not the lead singer from Korn, we are here to award you our nation’s highest military distinction, the Medal of Honor.

If you’re not the lead singer of Korn, Mr. President, then why are you talking about Issues all the time? I demand to see an official certificate proving your claim.

h/t Stereogum. Contact the author at andy@gawker.com.

Last week, we let you in on a little secret: a diamond was for sale, and it was yours for the taking. Now it looks as though Josephine’s father bought it for her. AGAIN.

Our fault for not seeing this coming.

http://gawker.com/diamonds-diamo...

Seven-year-old Josephine—a baby so weighted down by diamonds that, when she walks, she leaves permanent indents in the concrete beneath her, a cute attribute that allows her parents to find her at all times—“how did you find me?” she asks—they wink to each other silently—is the daughter of Hong Kong real estate investor billionaire Joseph Lau and the owner of several diamonds.

Lau paid $48.5 million for this blue diamond from last week and renamed it “Blue Moon of Josephine.” Then later, at another auction, he paid $28.5 million for a pink diamond and renamed it “Sweet Josephine.” And in 2009 he paid $9.5 million for some other blue diamond and renamed it “Star of Josephine.”

Enough.

Josephine’s hand:

Your hand:

Fair?

Image via AP. Contact the author at kelly.conaboy@gawker.com.

According to the Popular Mobilization Forces—an army formed to fight ISIS in Iraq—a car bomb exploded today in the north of Samarra, Iraq. Someone was recording with a cellphone and captured the explosion in the distance with pristine quality.

SPLOID is delicious brain candy. Follow us on Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube.

Today sees the release of the fourth proper Justin Bieber studio album, Purpose, an album that contains a fair amount of listenable material from Bieber (at least three songs!). Preceding this album has been a string of derpily titled singles—“Where Are Ü Now,” “What Do You Mean,” “Sorry”—that work on their own as proper songs and don’t require built-in fandom for appreciation. They’ve all gone Top 10 on the Billboard Hot 100 (“What Do You Mean” debuted at No. 1, in fact), which has helped shape a narrative that this album marks a comeback for Bieber. But where did he go? What do you mean, music press? And, most importantly, why should we care? Below we attempt to unravel these great mysteries.

Rich: Hello Jordan. I, like you, am a white man and I do not like this new Justin Bieber album that I feel weirdly obligated to consider. I wonder if you like it.

Jordan: Hi, Rich. I think this album is well done (not in the meat sense, although maybe?). It’s a nice professional pop album. But given who we’re dealing with here, that’s kind of a low bar, right?

Rich: Yes. The “story” of this album, via the music press, is that this is Bieber’s comeback album, his bid back into mainstream favor. How that differs from any other album of his—none were meant to be anything but feverishly consumed by the masses—is lost on me. It arrives in a year when multiple profiles of the Weeknd amounted to, “This guy wants to be Michael Jackson, and so he made a more commercial-sounding album.” These are the narratives we are dealing with! Music is telling some boring stories this year—and I don’t think that’s journalists’ fault (though for the most part, they aren’t helping).

Jordan: I guess there was nowhere else for the Bieber narrative to go. America loves a good comeback, right? The funny thing is that it’s not like Bieber did anything that bad. He was kind of just a mild punk? The worst thing he did, legally speaking, was drag race and smoke pot. In any event, in the defense of the narrative, I do think it’s worth noting that “Where Are Ü Now” was a genuine kinda out-of-nowhere hit, as much as a song starring Justin Bieber could be. But, like, “Sorry,” which is this album’s second single, is supposedly an apology song, and though it’s a very good pop song, who wants to hear Justin Bieber sing an apology song, let alone an apology album? What is he even apologizing for?

Rich: That’s the thing: I’ll take Bieber pissing in a bucket to Bieber babbling, “Who’s got the heart? Whose heart is the biggest? Wear it on your sleeve then we can make a difference” any day. No need to apologize for the most riveting spectacle of your career, my man! Given the mildness of his crimes, all of the overt apologizing and hand-wringing over his image (“My life is a movie, and everyone’s watching, so let’s get to the good part and past all the nonsense,” he sings in “I’ll Show You”) strikes me as disingenuous. Nothing from a pop star says “sorry” quite as well as a good pop song, and Bieber has released three of them from this album (I’m counting “Where Are Ü Now”). He may be growing up, but he’s still playing show and tell. He’d be better off just doing the former.

Jordan: I don’t doubt that he might have felt like his career spiraling, or that much of the public hated him, because it seems like they did! In the bubble of celebrity it was probably pretty easy for him to convince himself that things were going very poorly, and I don’t doubt that people like Scooter Braun were telling him that exact thing. So I do think the feeling here is genuine, and I do think that “I’ll Show You,” for instance, has some effectively simple lyrics: “Don’t forget that I’m human, don’t forget that I’m real / Act like you know me, but you never will.” I think that successfully conveys what it can feel like to be a major celebrity. But generally I agree with you that the spectacle of his apology tour just isn’t that interesting, from this album to him crying at the VMAs to his Comedy Central Roast.

http://morningafter.gawker.com/justin-bieber-...

Rich: It conveys what it feels like to be a major celebrity, but also how little insight that accompanies those feelings. No one thinks Bieber is a robot. Doubting his humanity isn’t the issue, it’s responding to how he expresses it. And I don’t know, a guy who’s moved to tears over receiving applause doesn’t strike me as particularly emotionally sophisticated. I’m sure the amount of feedback that he receives is overwhelming and annoying. I can relate to that and the amount of feedback I receive is infinitesimal compared to even a d-list reality star. I can’t really admire art that just yells back into the echo chamber, or what which disproportionately focuses on the negative aspects of fame when by any measure, Bieber has lived a charmed existence. On the saccharine piano ballad “Life Is Worth Living,” he sings, “What I get from my reflection / Is a different perception / From what the world may see / They try crucify me / I ain’t perfect won’t deny / My reputation’s on the line / So I’m working on a better me.” Blah blah blah. No one’s trying to crucify you, man, they’re just responding to what you do. Some people love it, some people hate it. That’s how it goes. Some people do it with less finesse than others, but that’s what happens when you democratize communication to the degree that our society has. Boo hoo.

Jordan: I 100 percent agree with you that the lyrics on this this album are really insipid. It’s impossible not to laugh when he opens a song by saying “What about the children?” It’s almost slapstick. It’s also hard to buy what we’re being sold—that this album is Bieber easing into maturity—when I don’t recognize any adult relationship I’ve had in his lyrics. I think my biggest problem is that he’s always the victim in his own songs, which is as sure a sign of immaturity as anything. “Where Are Ü Now” and “What Do You Mean” are both great pop compositions, but they’re so whiny and one-sided. He’s always being wronged by a nameless woman, but like, I’m pretty sure that between him and Selena Gomez he was the asshole in that relationship. Even on “Sorry,” which is an explicit apology song, the first lines are, “You gotta go and get mad at all of my honesty / You know I try but I don’t do well with apologies.” Like, grow up! That the album is well-curated and tasteful and skillfully executed and all that is great, but the point of view of the lyrics doesn’t mesh with that at all, and that’s a tension in this album that I don’t find appealing.

Rich: How telling is it, too, that much like Chris Brown, Bieber’s method of vocal emphasis is to tighten up his throat and squeeze out the emotion? His lyrics aren’t just whiny; his delivery is. We forget in these narratives that we’re dealing with brats who’ve been told more than most people that they’re more special than most people while their brains were still developing. They come carrying tremendous self-entitlement and then when things don’t go their way, they throw tantrums. Besides beginning to work with a template that was dancey yet spacious (unlike so much EDM that’s produced within an inch of its life, or most of today’s block-waveform pop, for that matter), what was so refreshing about the recent string of hits from Bieber—“Where Are Ü Now,” “What Do You Mean,” and “Sorry”—is his delivery is relaxed in a way that sounds honest. I wouldn’t go as far as to call him “soulful” ever, as he always sounds like an imitation of an imitation who’s too busy performing emotion to actually convey it, some of his vocals have a lived-in quality to them that I’ve never heard before in his work. He didn’t have to remind me, “Don’t forget that I’m human, don’t forget that I’m real,” so overtly. I could already detect it.

Jordan: Yeah, I remember thinking when “Where Are Ü Now” came out that his vocals were almost suspiciously good. You’re right about the singles—he doesn’t reach vocally at all, which is good because he doesn’t have the natural singing talent to strive for notes. In that sense, EDM does make sense for him because he still can’t convincingly pull off R&B—“No Pressure,” the Big Sean feature on this record, should be a nice little unshowy ballad, but he sings the entire song through his nose. And the ballads—“Life Is Worth Living” and the title track—just totally fall flat. Both Chris Brown and Bieber are pop stars in the mold of Michael Jackson, but Michael’s vocals were at once intensely strong and perilously fragile. It was, of course, one of the richest and most interesting voices in the history of pop. That’s an impossible standard but Bieber gets nowhere close to hitting that sweet spot, and this album falls off in the second half when things move away from what you correctly identify as refreshingly spacious dance-pop.

Rich: Right. As impressive as it is to arrive at a sound that feels edgy yet adult-friendly, that pounds but politely, that emits a palpable warmth out if its gleaming electronics, things come right back to earth on Purpose’s several terrible attempts at R&B balladry. He’s such a sexless soul singer that these songs are enough to make me forget about seeing his dick last month and go back to assuming that he’s just flat down there, like a Ken doll. And this formula that Srillex and Diplo have devised for him, by the way, is run to the ground—there are variations on it throughout the album, some sounding more nu-disco, some sounding more tropical house, but they all do the thing where the earwormy chorus gives way to even earwormier pre-verbalvocalizing. The self-pity, the sad attempts at soul, the underwhelming but pronounced narrative, the willingness to take what worked and make a stream of copies of it make this album represent pop’s worst impulses in one package. Bieber has certain tools for maturing—experience and the awareness that it’s time to mature, chiefly—but he holds them like a child. And isn’t wanting to be a big boy a cornerstone of childhood, anyway?

I want to conclude by juxtaposing a few quotes from the recent Billboard cover story on Bieber. In it, he proclaims:

Enough with the Justin Bieber Show. I want to very away from the self-centered attitude. I’m just focused on the people who are taking the journey now. I want them to feel like we’re doing this together.

But then there is this bit:

Asked why he thinks Nicki Minaj’s beef with Miley Cyrus was the bigger VMAs story, he balks, “I honestly thought my crying was more talked about.”

And he also calls being a child star “the toughest thing in the world,” most likely because he cannot really consider existence outside his own. The Justin Bieber Show is alive and well, and as long as it is, we’re going to get piles and piles of content that amount to very little in the long run. The deluxe edition of this album is 20 songs long (as if he has a verse’s worth of actual things to say), but the time I got to Track 15, “Get Used To Me,” I wasn’t just used to Bieber, I was sick of him. This...is his comeback.

Jordan: And, honestly, for as much praise as we’re giving the tailoring of this album, the collection of bonus tracks is probably better than the second half of this record—“Where Are Ü Now” and “The Feeling,” which somehow makes weird vowel-maker Halsey entirely tolerable, aside. Of course, this is nothing new. So many major label records in the last few years have used bonus tracks as a way of encouraging listeners to rearrange albums—a peace offering to the playlist era. So Purpose, really, is just another contemporary pop album, which is far from the worst thing in the world but it sure feels like this could have, and maybe even should have, been more than that.

[Image via AP]

“A man with a white pet rat got into an argument with a bodega clerk over the price of a Grandma’s Chocolate Chip cookie, refused to pay and kicked in the store’s glass door as he left, according to police.” Please share this post virally.

Saudi Arabia’s alcohol laws are notoriously strict—so strict that a 74-year-old British man just finished a year in a Jeddah prison and nearly faced 350 lashes over possession of homemade wine. Knowing the risks, one heroic man recently tried to smuggle 48,000 beers into the country dressed up as Pepsi cans.

According to the Saudi Gazette, the brave smuggler rolled up to the Al Batha crossing, which borders the UAE, in a truck and informed officers he was transporting “soft drinks.”

Unfortunately, customs officials decided to take a closer look, and noticed something was off about these pop cans.

“After the standard process of searching the products, it became clear that the alcoholic beers were covered with Pepsi’s sticker logos,” said the buzz-killing officer who unwrapped one of the fake Pepsis to discover a Heineken underneath.

The Kingdom of Saudi Arabia Customs account on Twitter is full of photos of confiscated booze, and Metro UK notes that smugglers regularly go to extreme lengths to get alcohol into the country. One man sewed 12 bottles into his pants, and other smugglers have hidden been inside packages of rice and tomato paste.

But this was an especially elaborate scheme, and it seems a shame for it to fail (and for such a huge amount of perfectly drinkable bad beer to go to waste).

R.I.P. 48,000 Cans of Heineken (2015-2015).

[h/t Metro, Photos: KsaCustoms/Twitter]

Here are the best of today’s deals. Get every great deal every day on Kinja Deals, follow us on Facebook and Twitter to never miss a deal, join us on Kinja Gear to read about great products, and on Kinja Co-Op to help us find the best.

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Top Deals

If you aren’t ready to lease out your wrist to Apple or Google, several attractive Timex Expedition watches start at just $24, today only on Amazon. [Timex Men’s Expedition Watches Starting at $24]

More Apparel Deals

With apologies to sliced bread and the wheel, 3M’s Command line of hooks and adhesive strips is the greatest invention in the history of mankind, and you can stock up on all of your favorites in today’s Amazon Gold Box.

Inside, you’ll find Velcro-like picture hanging strips, adhesive poster strips, and tons of different hooks that you can stick on any wall. Even if you don’t have an immediate need for any of these, they come in handy a lot, so you might as well stock up while they’re cheap. [3M Command Sale]

Whether you’re already a Philips Hue devotee, or you’re looking to start your collection, this 2-pack of Wi-Fi connected color-changing light strips is marked down to $120 today at Best Buy, an all-time low. [Philips Friends of hue 120 Lumen, 12W LightStrip Luminaire Starter Kit, $120]

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It didn’t take long for Magnetic smartphone vent mounts to join our bestsellers club, and it’s easy to see why. They’re essentially invisible when your phone is attached, and there’s just something cool about slapping your phone onto your dashboard, and watching it stick in place. Even if you already own one, for $5, this would make a great stocking stuffer. [Mpow Grip Magic Air Vent Magnetic Car Mount, $5 with code MZBDXEOL]

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00YE6D7I8

Whether you’re a professional athlete, or just someone who slept funny, aches and injuries happen, so you’ll want to be prepared with this Ace reusable cold compress.

Unlike most ice packs, this one remains flexible when frozen so it can conform to your skin, and is even covered in soft-touch fabric so you don’t have to wrap it with a towel. For a limited time, you can get yours for $8 after a Subscribe & Save discount plus a 15% bonus coupon. I’m not sure why you’d need to subscribe to these, since they’re reusable, but you can always cancel after your first order ships. [Ace Reusable Cold Compress, $8 with Subscribe & Save and 15% coupon]

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The iPhone 6 and 6s don’t have the amazing battery life of their plus-sized brethren, but this $21 battery case can more than make up the difference. To put it simply, this is the best deal we’ve ever seen on a current-generation iPhone battery case, and you shouldn’t hesitate to buy it. [1byone iPhone 6/6s 3100mAh Rainbow Battery Charger Case, $21 with code PAW7JLYD]

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00XA0MH94

The LG Watch Urbane is absolutely one of the best looking Android Wear watches on the market, and you can get your own for $215 today on eBay. That’s $135 less than its original selling price, and a match for the best deal we’ve seen. If you’re on the fence, be sure to check out Gizmodo’s impressions. [LG Watch Urbane, $215]

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I find your lack of ice disturbing, but if you’re having friends over to rewatch Star Wars movies before The Force Awakens hits theaters, these Death Star ice spheres will be a hit. [2 Pack uHome Death Star Silicone Sphere Ice Ball Tray, $8 with code PPD8ZS4S]

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00LZCDYNM

Yeah, it’s not a Nest, but this Honeywell Wi-Fi thermostat has great reviews, smartphone control, and all the smart home features you care about. [Honeywell Wi-Fi Smart Thermostat, $165]

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There are home theaters, and then there are home theaters. This 1080p Optoma projector is marked down to $750 today on Amazon, which is an all-time low price, and $250 off its usual going rate. [Optoma HD37 1080p 3D DLP Home Theater Projector, $749]

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Need help getting started? Lifehacker’s got you covered.

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Unlike metal pans, silicone baking mats don’t require cooking spray or oil to prevent sticking, and this textured model allows grease to and fat to drain away for leaner, healthier meats. It’s not the right tool for every job, but for $8, it’s not a bad idea to keep one in your kitchen. [Xpassion Nonstick Silicone Baking Mat, $8 with code Y74XLEUU]

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Are you serious, Clark? One of the greatest Christmas movies of all time is getting a remastered 25th anniversary edition, complete with a digital copy. [Preorder National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation 25th Anniversary, $14]

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The fantastic This War of Mine is down to $7 (from $15) on iOS and Android today.

• This War of Mine [iOS] ($7) | Normally $15
• This War of Mine [Android] ($7) | Normally $15

There’s no need to wait for Black Friday; the PS4 console bundle deals have already started. Today, you get your choice of two base bundles, plus extra games, accessories, and/or movies to sweeten the pot.

PlayStation 4 500GB Console - Uncharted: The Nathan Drake Collection Bundle with Assassin’s Creed Syndicate and Final Fantasy Type-0 ($350) | Amazon

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B017RZEZ7O/...

PlayStation 4 1TB Call of Duty: Black Ops III Limited Edition Bundle with Fallout 4, PowerA DualShock Charging Stand, and Two Movies ($430) | Best Buy

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We already mentioned Target’s Buy 2, Get 1 Free video game deal earlier this week, but now that Fallout 4 and Rise of the Tomb Raider (not to mention Black Ops III and Assassin’s Creed Syndicate) are included in the selection, it bears repeating. [Buy Two Video Games, Get One Free]

Babysitting the grill or oven while dinner cooks is nobody’s idea of a good time, but this wireless temperature probe will alert you the moment your food has reached the desired temperature.

That means no more dried out, overcooked meat, and more importantly, no awkwardly taking back your guests’ plates to finish cooking that pink chicken. This $42 set comes with two probes and a 300’ range, which should cover just about any cooking scenario you might encounter. Promo code THANKSG9 will save you $18 on the set today, just in time for Thanksgiving. [Ivation Long Range Wireless Thermometer, $42 with code THANKSG9]

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Nothing says “generic gift” quite like a barbecue set, and that’s okay! Chances are, you’ll need a handful of generally-agreeable and non-controversial gifts for random cousins or office secret santas this holiday season anyway, so go ahead and knock them off your list for $22. [VonShef 18 Piece Stainless Steel BBQ Tool Set With Carry Case, $22 with code 6BHFYDBI]

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Anker’s ubiquitous Astro series of USB battery packs are some of the most popular items we’ve ever posted, but today we have a deal on the smallest member of their newer, more powerful PowerCore line. [Anker PowerCore 10400 Portable Charger, $16 with code XCWT4JFT]

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Tech

Power

• Dynex AA Batteries 48 Pack ($8) | Best Buy
• Dynex AAA Batteries 48 Pack ($8) | Best Buy
• Quirky Pivot Power Pop ($12) | Walmart
• OLALA C5 10000mAh Dual USB Power Bank and OLALA 3.3Ft 8-pin MFi Lightning Cable ($15) | eBay | Add both to cart to see discount
• Kmashi Quick Charge 2.0 3 Ports 39W USB Turbo Car Charger W/3.3’m USB cable ($10) | amazon | Use code NG44GHKM

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Audio

• AUSDOM S03 Wireless Bluetooth 4.0 Headphones ($10) | Amazon | Use code RK89HGYI
• Aukey Wireless Premium Stereo Bluetooth Speaker ($22) | Amazon | Use code HGSGS3JJ
• Seedforce Outdoor & Shower 5W Drive 16 Hours Playtime Bluetooth 4.1 Speaker ($18) | Amazon | Use code SCZHIYBR
• Venstar 10W Portable Speaker ($20) | Amazon | Use code Y86IAVWZ

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Home Theater

• Optoma HD37 1080p 3D DLP Home Theater Projector ($749) | Amazon
• LG Electronics 50LF6000 50-Inch 1080p LED TV (2015 Model) ($498) | Amazon
• Samsung 32-Inch LED 1080p Smart HDTV ($300) | Best Buy
• Sceptre E195BV-SHD 19” 720p 60Hz Class LED (1.93” ultra-slim) HDTV ($80) | Walmart

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Computers & Accessories

• LG Electronics 27-Inch Full HD IPS LED Monitor ($149) | Adorama | After $35 Rebate
• DBPOWER Micro USB 3.1 Type-C male to USB 3.0 Type-A femal Data Cable for Apple New MacBook ($5) | Amazon

PC Parts

• Crucial MX100 2.5” 256GB SATA SSD ($80) | Woot
• ADATA Premier SP550 2.5” 240GB SATA III TLC Internal SSD ($63) | Newegg
• RAIDMAX RX-635AP 635W ATX 12V 80 PLUS BRONZE Certified Modular Power Supply ($25) | Newegg | After rebate and code EMCKBKP27

Mobile Devices

• 1byone iPhone 6/6s 3100mAh Rainbow Battery Charger Case ($21) | Amazon | Use code PAW7JLYD
• Pangea Apple Certified Lightning Cable ($5) | Amazon
• Genuine Leather Classic Wrist Armband for Apple Watch ($13) | eBay
• Inateck iPad Air 2 Ultra Slim Leather Case Smart Cover with Auto Wake-Sleep Function ($9) | Amazon | Use code 9F2P6HTK

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Photography

• Refurb Nikon D7100 Digital SLR Camera Body ($494) | Newegg

Home

• Up to 65% Off Select Command Hooks at Amazon
• [BOGO free] OxyLED® T-01S Super bright DIY Stick-on Anywhere 4-LED Touch Tap Light ($13) | Amazon | Use code GF2HPK8K
• Honeywell Wi-Fi Smart Thermostat ($165) | Amazon
  
• AcuRite 02032CRM Pro Weather Station with PC Connect, Weather Ticker, Rain and Wind ($80) | Amazon
• Travelers Club 3-Piece Expandable 4 Wheel Spinner Luggage Set ($69) | Walmart
• Paragon 7725 Flat Superior Electronic Keypad Hidden Wall Safe ($71) | Amazon
• WeMo Smart LED Light Bulb, Wi-Fi Enabled (Starter Set Required) ($15) | Amazon
• Philips Friends of hue 120 Lumen, 12W LightStrip Luminaire Starter Kit ($120) | Best Buy
• Stalwart Realistic Rock Outdoor Key Holder ($4) | Amazon
• Select Bathroom Vanities are 40% Off at Home Depot

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Kitchen

• 2 Pack uHome Death Star Silicone Sphere Ice Ball Tray ($8) | Amazon | Promo code PPD8ZS4S
• KitchenAid KFE5T Flex Edge Beater for Tilt-Head Stand Mixers ($19) | Amazon
• Cooks Standard Multi-Ply Clad Stainless-Steel 13-Inch Wok with Dome Lid ($47) | Amazon
• Hamilton Beach 24-Pound Turkey Roaster Oven, 22 Quart Capacity ($36) | Walmart
• Cole and Mason Derwent Precision Gourmet Pepper Mill ($25) | Amazon
• MIU COLOR 18.5oz Handmade Crystal Glass Water Bottle with Tea infuser ($17) | Amazon | Use code VDI2DFHP
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Fitness

• PowerBlock Travel Bench ($96) | Amazon
• NordicTrack T 6.5Z Treadmill ($590) | Sears
• Sumsonic Sports Travel Money Belt, Pro Unisex Fitness and Running Waist Pack with 4 Pockets, Fits All Cell Phones - iPhone 6S, 6S Plus, Nexus 6 & Android Smartphones ($19) | Amazon | Use code TCCUVZIU

Apparel

• Black Diamond Hot Forge Jacket ($115) | REI
• Oakley Hijinx Polarized Matte Black/Grey Polarized Sunglasses ($83) | 6pm
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Camping & Outdoors

• Primos 6MP Bullet Proof Trail Camera with Low Glow LED ($43) | Amazon

Tools & Auto

• Mpow Grip Magic Air Vent Magnetic Car Mount ($5) | amazon | Use code MZBDXEOL
• Esky Adjustable Rear / Front View Camera and Esky Foldable 4.3 Inch Color LCD TFT Rearview Monitor screen ($25) | Amazon | Use code P6I6HOU3
• Pioneer FHX720BT Double Din Bluetooth MIXTRAX I Car Audio Receiver ($88) | Amazon
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• Craftsman Extreme Grip 6-Piece Diamond Tip Screwdriver Set ($20) | Sears
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http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00RDYN64I/...

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Send deal submissions to Deals@Gawker and all other inquiries to Shane@Gawker

Perhaps you’ve seen the news: Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani both divorced; Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani flirting on The Voice; Gavin Rossdale reportedly cheated on Gwen Stefani with the nanny for three years; Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani dating for real. What about Christina Aguilera?

http://defamer.gawker.com/hey-does-anyon...

Funny you should ask—Christina Aguilera (former and future Voice judge)(divorced) expressed her thoughts about Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton in an interview with the Associated Press today.

“They’re both great people and divorce is rough,” she said. “Let them have their happiness.”

Also: “One thing I will say is I’ve been through divorce. Divorce is hard enough and then to be under a microscope and scrutinized and rumors. It’s just a bunch of crap.”

Also: “Don’t read [the tabloids]. You don’t need to fill your mind or give your energy to any of it. Keep it positive. Do what makes you happy. Do what makes your soul feel good.”

Christina Aguilera will be a judge on the upcoming season of The Voice, which is filming now. She divorced music executive Jordan Bratman in 2010.

Photo via Getty. Contact the author at allie@gawker.com.

The city of Boston could be “stuck in an endless housing crunch” for years to come with constantly rising housing costs. Oh, you can’t afford to live in Boston? Blessing in disguise. Is this story a joke?

http://gawker.com/fuck-boston-14...

Last night, a fever dream-addled Donald Trump performed free association, spoken word poetry to the unsuspecting people of Iowa under the guise of a stump speech. Trump clearly hasn’t slept in days, he’s repeating staple phrases though ever so slightly off, he calls everyone around him an idiot. It is, perhaps, the most perfect single example of American rhetoric ever.

The entire speech itself is nearly two hours, which you’re welcome to watch here. But if you prefer to maintain your sanity to some degree, we’ve compiled the best bits above.

Contact the author at ashley@gawker.com.

The Writers Guild of America put out a list of what they think the 101 funniest screenplays are and it’s filled with all time classics and favorites and movies that are watchable over and over again. We put together a video showing scenes from the top seven on the list and it definitely makes us want to watch everything else on the list.

The top 7, in order: Annie Hall, Some Like It Hot, Groundhog Day, Airplane!, Tootsie, Young Frankenstein, Dr Strangelove. The full list can be found here.

SPLOID is delicious brain candy. Follow us on Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube.

Humans suck at preparing for disasters. Society barely made it through the scourge of Twitter changing stars to hearts. When the sky darkens, thunder rumbles, or snow starts falling, many people simply fall to pieces. These five tips will help you get through the next big storm that’s bad enough to earn its own scary name.

1) Know Where You Live on a Map (Without Being Told)

This point is first because it is horrifying. Any meteorologist or weather reporter who deals with the public will tell you in no uncertain terms that many adults cannot find where they live on a map. They can find the United States just fine. They can probably find their home state with ease. That’s a good start! But for an alarmingly large number of people, their ability to find where they live on a map—being able to point their finger at a specific point and confidently state “I live here.”—is a tenuous bet at best.

Most weather maps you see online and on television aren’t all that detailed. They strip the excess information so the graphic isn’t too busy or confusing, but that comes at a cost. When a severe weather outbreak is looming, for instance, odds are this is the most detailed map you’ll come across on the internet:

This is a map from the Storm Prediction Center’s website showing the risk for severe thunderstorms on a day this past July; the product is a commonly circulated piece of information that gives you a quick idea of your risk for dangerous weather. Right off the bat, you can glance and see that most of Illinois, Indiana, and Kentucky are in for a rough day. (We saw an impressive derecho that day.)

Can you pinpoint where you live based on this map? The Vane has a very smart audience, so I’m sure many of you can, but this is usually the greatest level of detail most people will ever encounter on a weather map. Some graphics produced by television stations often show you major cities—Washington, Chicago, Dallas, Denver—or, if you’re lucky, county outlines, but if people don’t know where they live within the state, even big cities and county outlines don’t help very much.

If people can’t point out exactly where they live, what good is the forecast?

Every adult needs to know how to find their town on a map. Every adult needs to memorize exactly where they live within their state relative to the borders, relative to geographic features, and relative to major cities. Every adult needs to know the name of the county in which they live and the names of the counties that surround them.

The first step to staying safe during bad weather is knowing where you are so you can know what to expect.

2) Understand the Terminology

We use so many different terms in weather communication that it’s easy for even seasoned weather geeks to get confused sometimes. Confusion is a hell of a thing when it comes to urgent safety information, so if we get tripped up from time to time, you can only imagine what it’s like for people who aren’t tuned in to every twist and turn of the jet stream.

Every term we use in communicating weather forecasts has a specific meaning—for instance, a tornado watch and tornado warning sound similar, and a lot of people think there isn’t a difference, but one is far more urgent than the other.

In the weather world, a “watch” means that bad weather could happen soon, usually within the next couple of hours. A “warning” means that bad weather is occurring or imminent, meaning that it is happening or will happen within the next hour or so, and you need to take immediate action to ensure your safety.

You get longer lead times with slower, bigger storms. A warning can be issued before a hurricane or blizzard a day or two before they strike, giving you plenty of time to get ready. On the other hand, you usually get a very short heads up before more localized disasters like a tornado or flash flood—sometimes less than ten minutes, if any warning at all.

The terms “tornado watch”and “tornado warning” are pretty straightforward, but the nerd lexicon grows even more confusing as we head into the colder months. When a winter storm comes through, you’ll hear three main types of alerts: winter storm watch, winter weather advisory, and winter storm warning. It sounds counterintuitive to people for some reason, but an advisory is more urgent than a watch. If winter weather alerts ran on scale, it would look like this:

1. Winter Storm Warning
2. Winter Weather Advisory
3. Winter Storm Watch

A winter storm watch, like all watches, advises you ahead of time that hazardous weather is possible within the next day or two, and you should keep a close eye on the forecasts.

A winter weather advisory is issued when small amounts of snow or ice (a few inches of snow or a light glaze of ice) are expected within the next couple of hours, which could make travel hazardous.

A winter storm warning is issued when large amounts of snow or ice are expected within the next few hours, so much so that it will make travel nearly impossible and potentially disable the area for days in the worst case scenario.

It gets even more confusing when you take into account that every National Weather Service office across the country has different criteria to trigger these alerts. Three inches of snow is enough to warrant a winter storm warning in parts of Alabama, but the same amount of snow would barely require a winter weather advisory in far northern parts of the country.

Fun!

Wikipedia, despite the bad rap it gets from teachers around the world, has a very good page describing just about every alert issued by the National Weather Service. If you’re not clear on the terms, keep this link in your bookmarks and check back whenever strange weather creeps up on you.

3) Develop Some Kind of a Plan

If you can picture a PSA about severe weather safety, it begins with stock footage of a lightning strike, fast music, a shaky narration, and ends with a creepy, smiling nuclear family sitting in their dining room with maps and floorplans and first aid supplies strewn about.

Bah.

Coming up with a plan for severe weather doesn’t always require acting like an emergency manager formulating a plan for an elementary school. It’s nice to write stuff down—if only to help you remember it—but planning for hazardous weather can be as informal as thinking “where would I go if a tornado hit?” while you’re sitting on the couch waiting for a movie to start.

The most important things you need to figure out are how you’ll keep yourself safe and what you should do to prepare to deal with the aftermath.

Where will you go if a tornado is barreling toward you? How many interior rooms do you have on the lowest floor? Do you have an underground basement? If you have a basement, is your hiding spot below a very heavy piece of furniture? What about natural gas or propane tanks, are they nearby?

And that’s just a tornado! Preparing for flooding is almost the opposite—if the waters suddenly rise and you can’t flee, you want to get as high as possible, not low. Switching over to winter, what will you do if you’re stranded in your car during a snow or ice storm? Where will you go if you lose power for an extended period of time?

These are all things you should think about. You don’t have to write down a ten-point plan, but it’s good to mull them over so you’re prepared if you’re caught in a dangerous situation.

Surviving the storm itself is just the beginning—you have to make it through the aftermath, as well.

The most common consequence of bad weather is a loss of utilities. Whether it’s a tornado, hurricane, flood, earthquake, or winter storm, the hardest-hit areas will probably lose power, water, phones, and internet for an extended period of time. You should have a disaster supply kit at the ready in your home—preferably all in one spot so you can have access to everything at a moment’s notice.

Always make sure you have enough non-perishable food, water, prescription medicine, emergency supplies, and cash on hand to last you a week in the aftermath of a disaster. Actual, physical cash is an important but overlooked aspect of preparedness—your debit or credit cards won’t work at the store without electricity and phones/internet, so if you’re fortunate enough to have the luxury keeping some extra cash on hand, it’s not a bad idea.

Aside from the list of first aid/emergency staples, think of some extra items you should have to help get through different situations. If your home or property is damaged, do you own a sturdy pair of shoes, boots, and gloves to walk through and handle the debris? If you’re affected by a historic winter storm, do you have the supplies and materials to keep from freezing to death?

4) Have Multiple Sources of Information

If you have a smartphone, you’ve probably heard that horrible emergency alert sound screeching from your phone. It’s common to get severe weather alerts from cell phones these days, but it’s not a good idea to rely on only this one method. Cell service can go down in a disaster, warnings through apps can be delayed, and your battery can only last so long if the power is out.

Make sure you have several additional ways to receive urgent weather alerts, whether it’s through cell phones, battery-operated NOAA Weather Radios, television, FM/AM radio, or the internet. A NOAA Weather Radio is your best back-up for weather forecasts and severe weather warnings. Modern devices can be programmed with your county’s unique, six-digit S.A.M.E. code that allows the device to automatically sound a loud siren when a watch or warning is issued for your county. These devices have saved lives, and even if you are glued to your phone, it’s a great layer of additional security.

Using several methods to receive urgent weather information lessens the chance that you’ll miss a potentially life-saving alert.

5) Know What’s Junk and What Isn’t

Not all weather forecasts are equal. Many forecasts issued by professionals are pretty accurate—if you get your weather from The Weather Channel, the National Weather Service, your local news station, or even an outlet like AccuWeather, it’s a safe bet that what you see is pretty close to what will happen.

That’s not always the case, though. For every reputable source for weather information, there are at least ten more sources run by people who aren’t qualified to talk about the subject or, even worse, operated by people with malicious intent. Many of these individuals run Facebook and Twitter pages with tens—if not hundreds—of thousands of followers, and reach that extends into the millions. One quick bit of misinformation from them can put countless people in danger. I talk about hoaxes and bad forecasts frequently here on The Vane, but the overarching theme is always “if it sounds too horrible to be true, check somewhere else.”

To that point, most people get their weather information from the internet these days. Whether it’s through a website or some smartphone app, most folks only check the temperature, see if it’s going to rain, and that’s usually the end of the day’s weather adventures.

Problem is, that’s not enough.

Your app might show rain or thunderstorms tomorrow, but will the storms be severe? How much rain will fall? Is that forecast of 5-8” of snow really for your location or a city 25 miles away? You need more than just an icon and a few numbers to fully anticipate what will happen.

If you’re using a less-than-reputable app, don’t. You need to check your weather somewhere else. You need analysis from a knowledgeable person or team of meteorologists when the sleet hits the fan. Many no-name, popular weather apps just rip raw data straight from the weather models, without using quality controls or intervention from qualified forecasters. That’s the best way to get a wrong forecast almost every time.

Most local news channels employ meteorologists who maintain blogs and an extensive social media presence. Networks like WeatherNation and The Weather Channel are on air all day—the latter will revert to 24/7 weather soon—and you can catch local forecasts from news stations several times during each newscast.

In addition to social media and television, there are a number of excellent websites and blogs dedicated to the weather (ahem), not to mention free access to National Weather Service forecasts online and via NOAA Weather Radio.

Meteorologists can’t do everything. They give you the best forecast they can using the best data and methods they’ve got, but we are all ultimately responsible for our own safety. If a warning is issued and things start to go downhill, it’s up to you to handle it properly and live to see the sun shine another day.

[Cars Trapped on Atlanta Highway: Associated Press | Flooded House: Associated Press | Worker Restoring Power in a Winter Storm: Associated Press | Severe Weather Map: SPC | Warning Map: NWS | Fake Snow Map: Author]

Email: dennis.mersereau@gawker.com | Twitter: @wxdam

If you’re interested in more extreme weather survival tips, I wrote a book on it! The Extreme Weather Survival Manual is now available for order through Amazon and the shelves and websites of retailers near you.

Remember Kristin Cavallari’s beloved Secret Bangs™?

The bangs that have been on “back order” since August?

The bangs that look like this?

This is what happens when you try to visit SecretBangs.com now:

Very secret bangs.

This has been 500 Days of Kristin.

[Photos via Secret Bangs™ and Getty]

io9 How Gotham City Evolved Into the Worst Fictional City in America | Gizmodo The 7 Funniest Movies of All Time | Jalopnik What’s With Those ‘We Want To Buy Your Car’ Dealer Offers? | Lifehacker Your Unwashed Bras Are Growing (Mostly Harmless) Bacteria

Rob Dahm is a man of many varied and particular talents. He’s a successful entrepreneur, runs a YouTube channel with nearly 200,000 subscribers, owns the unluckiest Lamborghini Diablo in the universe, and he’s an avid Mazda RX-7 enthusiast. But when he tried to ship a very peculiar engine to America for one RX-7, the universe—and mishaps at UPS—had other plans in mind.

What followed for Dahm was a year-long series of increasingly costly blunders that included allegations of corporate negligence, a very expensive misplaced engine that mysteriously popped up on eBay, and an ongoing fight with UPS that Dahm says borders on blackmail.

The story begins late last year. Dahm, in his infinite wisdom, decided that if the stock two rotor Wankel engine is good, then three rotors must be better—and four better yet. The issue was that while Mazda did produce a three rotor engine featured in the JDM-only Eunos Cosmo, a factory four rotor engine didn’t exist anywhere on this mortal plane.

Fortunately, there was a company willing to make a custom, completely built-from-scratch four rotor engine that will fit in a Mazda RX-7 FD chassis and bolt up to the stock transmission. Unfortunately, that company was located in New Zealand, and it cost the equivalent of an entire moderately used Mazda RX-7 FD to bring it over. But Dahm decided to go for it anyway.

Dahm told Jalopnik that on Dec. 14th, 2014 that he commissioned a brand new four rotor engine to be built by Precision Engineering for the grand total of 10,916 NZD, which is just over $8,600.

It took almost four months to order parts from Mazda, machine and fabricate parts and assemble them into a deliverable package ready for a trek across the planet. For this, Dahm paid an additional $2,000, including PayPal fees and losses from currency conversion rates.

That’s when things took a turn for the worse.

Three days after the tracking number was supplied, UPS transported the package from New Zealand to a dispatching facility in Louisville, Kentucky, with on its merry way to its new home in Dahm in Michigan.

Except the $10,000+ boxed-up pile of bespoke engine parts never got past that point, Dahm told me.

Dude, Where’s My Engine?

After the trail went cold in Kentucky on March 30, Dahm said he called UPS and promptly asked them the produce the whereabouts of his prized package. He said they replied with a hearty and wholly unsatisfying shoulder shrug, because the person who had to file a complaint or claim with the company had to be the person that initially sent the package. That would be Jeff Bruce, the owner of Precision Engineering in New Zealand.

Because the shipment came from his shop, Bruce would also be the only person UPS would talk to regarding the matter, so everything from then on had to be arranged in the world’s most inefficient game of telephone. Dahm said Bruce went through the proper channels to get the issue dealt with, a lengthy process that took many strongly-worded emails and spanned over four months.

By June, one glaring bombshell presented itself to Dahm: even if the claim was processed and the price of the contents was reimbursed, Bruce had only insured the package for roughly one third of its cost to Dahm in order to save himself money on shipping and customs costs.

In an email to Dahm, Bruce declined to pay completely out of pocket to pay for the lost package because he claimed it left his shop, and therefore anything after that point was completely out of his hands. However, he did agree to start the build anew if UPS coughed up the cash in the originally insured amount, even if that meant he had to eat the additional costs. (We reached out to Bruce, but haven’t heard back yet.)

At this point, Dahm said he was past the statute of limitations for filing a chargeback on his card, the shop owner was still trying to find the package through UPS’ channels, and five figures of American greenbacks were slowly flushing themselves down a toilet destined for oblivion.

Even though the shop owner wasn’t budging on replacing the parts or re-doing the build without at least some sort of lump sum paid upfront, the way Dahm sees it, the real blame and culpability lay with UPS.

What Can Brown Do To You?

The shipping company dragged its heels in finding and reimbursing the package for the minuscule amount that it was initially insured for and handled the situation with the poise of a third-world coal mine collapse.

To add insult to injury, UPS had the bare-faced audacity to send Dahm to collections for an outstanding $30 invoice regarding his lost package.

Needless to say, Dahm wasn’t happy about this. So in late October, he took to YouTube and produced something that illustrated exactly how he felt about the situation: a re-enactment of a famous scene from The Fast And The Furious.

One short week after the video went up, Dahm received a flood of messages and captioned memes expressing concern and support for his situation.

Among the well-wishers was a promising bit of correspondence from a subscriber by the name of Abel Ibarra, with a link to not one, but two eBay auctions in Liberty, Missouri containing parts for a very particular, very rare engine setup.

With the knowledge that this engine was one of only four that existed in the world in exactly this configuration, and the only one that wasn’t in an already assembled car, Dahm, understandably, felt his package had been stolen at some point in the process and put up for sale online.

Operating under this assumption, Dahm contacted local authorities and made plans to have his property seized from the eBay seller, something which required his actual presence and a flight to Missouri.

When Dahm alerted UPS of the engine’s whereabouts and the fact that the police were two coffee breaks away from raiding a random eBay seller’s house, UPS casually mentioned that the package wasn’t stolen—it was auctioned and that the engine was legally the property of the seller.

Having no other choice, Dahm called off the police seizure and simply bought the engine from the eBay auction. It was purchased through a nearby friend’s address and bank account just in case there was any trickery afoot that could be tied back to Dahm, and the four rotor engine was finally on its way, after a year of waiting, ironically enough using UPS as the carrier set to deliver it.

After seeing that the seller was indeed likely upstanding and purchased the engine through no ill will of his own, Dahm contacted him and learned that the parts were not stolen after all. Rather, they were sold as unclaimed property, a designation describing a case in which a delivery attempt was made, but nobody was there to claim the item.

The Mysterious Disappearing Rotary

Then again, the package was auctioned in Missouri. Dahm lives in Michigan. I’m no expert in the matter, but I don’t think that it’s standard protocol to have your customers travel 600 miles to get their package—it’s sort of the point of shipping a thing in the first place.

Ultimately, that’s the biggest, most pervasive mystery of this whole thing, and as of this writing there’s no official or unofficial explanation of how it happened.

By this point the $10,000 project that was supposed to take four months to deliver had taken more than a year and tipped the financial scales at closer to $20,000, not to mention untold hours of stress and research as to why the hell huge shipping corporation like UPS would ever let something of this magnitude happen.

When the package arrived at its rightful owner, with original packing slip still attached, by the way, Dahm contacted UPS to see what could be done as far as reimbursement for having to pay full retail price for something he already owned.

In a phone conversation, Dahm said they let him know that while they could probably get him the cash for the engine he had to buy a second time, they wanted Dahm to take down the video lambasting the company for their obvious missteps.

That’s what has Dahm so outraged: instead of worrying about making a customer who had been incredibly patient with a clusterfuck of a situation whole again, UPS’ first priority was to make sure they eliminate any bad public relations that they might get as a consequence.

And late yesterday, he released a new video updating the world on the situation:

As of today, Dahm reports that he still hasn’t received a dime from UPS, despite them losing his package, selling it out of state and then practically blackmailing him to take a personal video down so they would theoretically play ball.

I reached out to UPS and Susan Rosenberg, the company’s Public Relations Director, who said the package may have simply shed its label and was therefore undeliverable. The email read,

We’ve seen the video posting and are trying to get more details. UPS folks have been engaged with Mr. Dahm for resolution, though the process has taken place over an extended period.

In general, inventory is collected in a lost-and-found warehouse where contents may be missing or separated from labels. It is repeatedly reviewed to match descriptions and identifiers provided by shippers and intended receivers. Our process for claims begins with the shipper documentation and the value they have declared on contents.

Packages get lost and lines get crossed all the time. That’s understandable for a company that has millions of moving parts. The issue that I have, and I’m sure Dahm will echo this sentiment, is that there were so many chances to get it right; to treat a customer than paid your company a four figure sum to do a job right, and not only was that not done, but the paying customer’s issue was given the same attention as a DMV suggestion box.

Dahm feels like UPS simply didn’t give a shit, and that’s the most damning aspect of this whole thing. I won’t be trusting UPS with any of my expensive overnight parts from Japan anytime soon, and I doubt Dahm will either.

I wish Dahm luck in having UPS honor his year-long claim, but I wouldn’t hold my breath at this point. In the meantime, he’ll be chronicling the engine build on his YouTube channel. Fingers crossed that the apex seals don’t blow on the first pass.

On second thought, that would be pretty entertaining.

Tavarish is the founder of APiDA Online and writes and makes videos about buying and selling cool cars on the internet. You can also follow him on Twitter and Facebook. He won’t mind.

Breaking news out of Paris where reports of casualties are rolling in after at least three shootouts broke out in local restaurants and multiple explosions were reported at a stadium where French President François Hollande was reportedly watching a French-German match.

The AFP is currently reporting at least 18 dead.

According to reports, “several people were killed and seven others injured” during a shootout by a man reportedly armed with an AK-47 inside a Paris restaurant in the tenth arrondissement. And according to the BBC, a reporter saw at least another ten people lying dead or seriously injured after a separate shooting at a restaurant called Cambodge in the 11th district.

“I was told people in cars had opened fire on the bar. There are lots of dead people. It’s pretty horrific to be honest. I was at the back of the bar. I couldn’t see anything. I heard gunshots. People dropped to the ground. We put a table over our heads to protect us,” an eyewitness reportedly told the BBC. “We were held up in the bar because there was a pile of bodies in front of us.”

Dozens of gunshots can be heard around the 10 minute mark of one Periscope video shot from a building near the scene of one of the shootings.

Simultaneous reports indicate several grenades were thrown near the Stade de France, where casualties have also been reported. At least one dismembered body has been reported near the stadium. According to the AP, at least two explosions were heard. French President François Hollande was reportedly in the stadium and has since been evacuated.

Update 4:45 p.m.

The AFP also reports hostages have been taken at the Paris Bataclan concert hall where the band The Eagles of Death Metal were playing a show.

Update 4:58 p.m.

According to French public radio, the death toll has been updated to at least 30.

Update 5:03 p.m.

A Vine shot at the football match appears to contain audio of at least one explosion.

Contact the author at gabrielle@gawker.com.

Employees ejected a group of black teens from a Melbourne, Australia, Apple Store this week, telling them that store staff were “just worried you might steal something.” One of the boys, Francis Ose, posted a video of the incident on Facebook with the title “Simply Racism—made them apologize tho.”

The BBC reports the video was shared thousands of times, and the boys, who are 10th-graders at a nearby school, received apologies from both the local store manager and Apple corporate.

“They apologised, so we’re chilling, no need to take it further,” one of the group, Mohamed Semra, wrote on Facebook.

It did go a little bit further, though: the video made its way to Apple CEO Tim Cook, who decided Friday that this mistreatment of customers, apparently based on their age and race, merited an all-company email.

In the message, published by BuzzFeed, Cook called the incident “unacceptable” and said the employees “gave an answer which shocked many of us.”

But Cook went on to argue that “Apple is open,” and “this was an isolated incident rather than a symptom of a broader problem in our stores.”

Apple had another isolated incident back in 2011, when two black customers accused an Upper West Side Apple Store employee of kicking them out due to their race, and explicitly telling them “I don’t want your kind hanging out in the store.” They sued Apple and the store’s private security company, but Apple successfully argued that neither employer condoned the alleged actions of the employee, and the case was dismissed.

http://gizmodo.com/5805581/manhat...

But the video of that incident never went viral, so there was never a letter from Tim Cook to every Apple employee promising to do better—to the extent that a multinational retail chain with thousands of employees can promise anything—and “use this moment as an opportunity to learn and grow.”

After the Australian incident, Cook wrote that Apple retail employees around the world “will be refreshing their training on inclusion and customer engagement.” That’s the least he can do.

[h/t 9to5Mac]