'A Worthless Hire': A Letter From Hjalmar and Alex, Our Far-Flung Swedish Correspondents

Earlier this week, Gawker posted a job listing seeking applicants for a reporter position. Among the responses was this letter from Hjalmar Sveinbjőrnsson and Alex, two under-employed Swedish roommates. We have reproduced the letter without correcting grammar or punctuation; the images shown above were attached. Gawker's response follows.

Hi

I think I am writing this because I am bored but maybe with the tiniest inkling of interest in Gawker as an employee but lets start with this, I am a trained chef with no ties to journalism except of being very interested in world news and have my daily stops at; wired, gizmodo, Al jazeera, bbc

Just rounding my self up so I can say that I am not a good candidate for a job at Gawker so stop now, close and junk this mail

but if your have time to waste, carry on

I dont think I can really say I am bored, more comfortable then bored.

moved to a very small country-side village two weeks ago away from Sweden third largest city Malmö to start work in the largest small city of the same country or Kalmar one of the most boring places on earth if you don't count Nybro into the picture that is the small country-side village I share an 2 bedroom apartment with a good friend of mine that I known for the last 3 years or since I moved to Sweden

I have no work at the moment, waiting for a phone call from a restaurant/hotel I hope to get a steady job the next 8-10 month's at so right now I sit at home, enjoy a fast internet connection and the slowness of this tiny town

maybe I should move this letter more in the direction of an resumé so next line is gone be previews work places:

• Hrói höttur 2000-2002 pizza baker
• Little Ceasar 2002 pizza baker
• Drug dealer 2003-2005 small time supplier
• Við tjörninna 2005-2007 chef in training
• Orange 2007-2008 chef in training
• Svart fjall 2008-2010 chef
• TGI Friday's 2010-2012 burger flipper (moved to Sweden, resumé became worthless)

• So that is that, what my life has been mostly about, other vice I love food and never work in another area moved away from Iceland to Sweden 2010 so I can start saving up money to open up my own restaurant because I hate nothing more then working for other people

  waste of a human life

  So now lets get back to the article about the job in question

  I didnt really read it until now, or as of now I am reading it over and I can see your looking for a snoop, snuff snop ? person that would be willing to breach confidential agreements with companies, lie and claw her or his way through a paper wall of bureaucracy to gain information normal people would think were closed to public like police reports and other

  I dont think I would be willing to do that, dont even know what I should be doing to "sell my self" to you or "sell" the idea of "me" to you, I need to have one first

  Maybe I could become like a Sunday article, a comfortable read for people not on the "go" but on the "now" filled with meaning less sentences that drag on and on and on

  a poetic life waster

  time is money, money is time, time is life ! life is money?

  My flatmate is home this week from school, he is taking "fine wood works" at school learns to make chairs, tables and other fine thinks

  Most be hard for you to read this as I butcher your language but if you made it this far I salute you, I am also doing no second read over or spell check except the one I do on the fly

  So we are sitting at home, he is watching an anime and I am doing something else then playing games, wednsday is normally our creative day but we are feeling lazy hope this letter is creative enough

  maybe I paint something later

  I just notice that on the front page of gawker you have already started using the 6 sec video gif service very smart, too bad with the deaths of people

  Maybe I could write like human interest stories?

  I do speak bad broken Swedish so I could go on journalistic mission for you, cant do the full journalist though but I can go to ask some question if you ask nicely

  what about if you give me an test assignment ?, get me to write an article about something gawker human research department feels fitting ?

  I am sure you have the time, energy and will for it

  Me and my flatmate could become some kind of action news team located in Nybro, Sweden !

  wondering if I should have this email longer but for that I would need to take a break from writing, been at this for 25 min now and out off creative juice, been on pot this morning, had a dentist appointment around 9 in the morning, got the first steps done for a root canal filling, not doing pot because of tooth ache, doing it because of boredom AND building up for finishing castelvania IV today, been at it for the last 3 days and on the last level

  Its been snowing a lot here in Nybro the last day's, thought in end of January the winter was over already but I guess I was wrong

  Gone go finish my spliff, lets see if I get more radical

  Nope not really

  I played a game of stacking or stacked some squire shaped pieces of cut wood I had laying around gave me more enjoyment then it should had

  My flatmate has been scrolling through 9gag for the last 2 hours or so and before that playing an MMO called "guild war 2" for couple of hours, he is level 63 and his character is a lion thief I think

  my self dont play any mmo but I do play team fortress 2 and dungeon keeper 2 we play a lot of number 2 games

  I think I am so uncreative right now I could draw a picture of a rock

  thinking about just pressing send on this email of ours and find a better time waster then this random emailing is just bizarre but informative on your grammar skills

  Ill skills (it says ill skills in the non-rap meaning)

  have a fantastic afternoon, morning or day

  I am thinking about taking a nap or something

  if I send a picture of me and my room mate can I get a picture back of 3 thinks ?

  1. staff food fridge at gawker
  2. not a rug but THE rug like my flatmate puts it (he does not smoke pot)
  3. oldest or youngest staff member of Gawker

  dont know if one picture of me and my room mate is enough for 3 whole hand picked pictures or if even anyone found, saw or read this email so also gone include a picture of each of our crappy art work AND a picture of us

  I did the one in the drawer and he send a self portrait

  Your dearest random stranger and stranger,

  Hjalmar and Alex

Our response:

Dear Hjalmar and Alex:

Thanks for writing. Below please find the following images: 1) a photograph of Gawker deputy editor Tom Scocca, who, at 41, is the oldest Gawker staffer; 2) a photograph of the staff refrigerator; and 3) a photograph of the Gawker rug. There are at least three rugs in our office space, but this is the rug.

It would be an understatement to say that we here at Gawker are impressed by your letter, intrigued by your ideas, and very curious about life in Sweden. We would very much like to discuss you writing for Gawker in a formal or informal capacity. Would you have any interest in recapping Season Three of the television show Girls? Do you have any favorite Black Metal bands you'd like to write about? Just spit-balling here. We're wide open. The Nybro Action Team thing could work, too.

Let us know.

Best,

John Cook
Editor-in-chief
Gawker
john@gawker.com