SoulCycle—ever heard of it? It’s a dark, neon hellscape where Charlize Theron routinely terrorizes Tia Mowry—I assume for sport—but it’s also more than that. It’s a place where rich people of all shapes and sizes can spend large sums of money to exercise their bodies and their aggression, often at the same time.
Here’s a brief timeline of the latest SoulPsycho behavior:
- August 21, 2013: Someone famous—maybe Mariah Carey, though for legal reasons I must emphasis it could just as likely not be Mariah Carey (it’s probably Mariah Carey)—becomes so desperate to drop weight fast
she goes deaf from too many hours of a SoulCycle instructor screaming at her over the dulcet tones of very loud EDM. - July 23, 2014: Charlize Theron, a ghost who still haunts Sean Penn, rebuffs celebrity actress and identical twin to...someone, Tia Mowry after a SoulCycle class.
- August 7, 2014: Charlize Theron tries to have whatshername who looks like that other lady on Sister Sister banned forever
from the SoulCycle studio. She is unsuccessful.
And now, the latest:
- August 13, 2015: Lamar Odom accosts Khloe Kardashian, the walking down payment on an E! Entertainment executive’s beach house, outside of her SoulCycle class. Khloe accuses him of stalking her. Odom doesn’t exactly deny it:
Nobody got followed. Nobody got hassled. Nobody got harassed. Nobody got grabbed on. None of thatI am not, not, not the person they’re trying to make me out to be, whoever’s doin’ it. I live in Las Vegas. I live in Las Vegas. So was there an address or place given? So was there an address of a place given? Or I just guessed right.
Sounds like he guessed right. Not that it was too hard? Drama has no problem finding SoulCycle on a map, that’s for damn sure.
Contact the author at gabrielle@gawker.com.