Clips from Last Night's Crazed Dinner, Now Idiotically Called Nerdprom

The White House Correspondents dinner was last night. Conan O'Brien made some jokes, Obama came out to rap, and everyone got to bask in the warming glow of celebrity.

First, the celebrities strode down the red carpet, where, presumably, Politico got to ask their stupid questions.

The evening started with a video parodying House of Cards where Congressman Kevin Spacey (does he actually use that voice on television, er... high-speed Internet?) attempts to hoard tickets to the White House correspondents dinner. Jokes about ignoring term limits, how Buzzfeed hires young people (young people who will one day be lame enough to attend this putrid ox carcass of an event), and rabid partisanship (you know, the stuff that's literally throwing people out on the street).

Haha!

Then came the President himself (who strode out to DJ Khaled's "All I Do Is Win") and he made some good jokes about:

• His age: "I'm not the strapping young Muslim socialist I used to be."
• The new titans of media: “I remember when BuzzFeed was something I did in college at 2 A.M.”
• How the press was skeptical about his skeet-shooting photos. He relented to pressure and revealed the original (above).
• Fox News: “The History Channel is not here. I guess they were embarrassed about the whole Obama-is-a-devil thing. Of course, that never kept Fox News from showing up. They thought that comparison was not fair (pause) to Satan."

Host Conan O'Brien kept it simple and almost funny.

His best line was "The George W. Bush library has millions of books, articles and documents. And if you go, you can be the first to read them."

His worst was: "As I look around the room and see all the media here tonight, I realize this is just one big high school cafeteria. That’s all it is. Think about it. Fox is the jocks, MSNBC is the nerds.NPR is the table for kids with peanut allergies. Al Jazeera is the weird foreign exchange student nobody talks to."

Haha! Arabs.

But still, the most offensive part of the night was the referencing of this horrible shitshow as "#nerdprom." This is perhaps rooted in the idea that the reigning politicians and the accommodating media are all usually staying in on Saturday nights watching DVD's of the West Wing instead of hobnobbing with celebrities and poking fun at the fucking dismal state of things.

To this I say: fuck that. You are wonks, highly dangerous, sometimes murderous wonks who do disservice to the term "nerd." Don't drag them into this shit.