Have you heard of the twitter trend #followateen that everyone is talking about? No? Congratulations. Life is good. Turn off the computer now and go outside and enjoy your perfect life. Still there? Well, if you insist on biting into this poisonous knowledge fruit, read on. Learn of the Great Teen-Adult Twitter War of 2013.
Twitter users are constantly trying to devise new and more unsettling ways to waste time on Twitter. One twitter user, the writer David Thorpe (@arr) decided a good way to do this would be to follow a random teen. In 2011 he tweeted:
Today, everyone find a normal-ass teen to follow and report back on their boring exploits. #followateen
— Lucrative Trillion (@Arr) December 29, 2011
A few days ago ago he re-launched the #followateen concept:
By request of @katienotopoulos, let's bring back #followateen for 2013. Here's how it works: find a teen, follow it, and report on its life.
— Lucrative Trillion (@Arr) April 12, 2013
Adult Twitter users began reporting bemusedly on teens' lives:
My teen can't dance to bob marley #followateen
— Eric (@NotreDameEric) May 3, 2013
My teen hates school because you have to wear pants there. I love my teen. #followateen
— Choire Sicha (@Choire) April 12, 2013
My teen has been watching Gossip Girl for the last several hours and finds tumblr to be an acceptable boyfriend substitute #followateen
— Dub Step Dad (@DubStepDad) December 29, 2011
#followateen my teen is so upset that its dad double dips chips
— dendycrew (@dendycrew) April 28, 2013
My teen asks you to retweet if you see a slut on your timeline. #FollowATeen
— J. Mapes (@jmapes) May 1, 2013
#followateen continuted to gain steam, helped greatly by people like Slate economics blogger Matthew Yglesias being confused and/or concerned by it:
Not sure I understand the #followateen hashtag. Are people really following random teens? How do you find one to follow?
— Matt Yglesias (@mattyglesias) April 30, 2013
As someone who has long followed teens (for
Am I someone's #FollowATeen ?
— Jax (@Jaxy_O) May 3, 2013
And the teens were mad. The counteroffensive was led by the Queen of Teens herself, 17-year-old Rookie Magazine founder Tavi Gevinson. Someone came up with the amusing hashtag #followanadult, spoofing #followateen, and Tavi and Rookie took up the mantle:
my adult is making yet another hilarious joke about google vs bing #followanadult
— Tavi Gevinson (@tavitulle) May 3, 2013
my adult is offended by alleged misuse of the word "literally" #followanadult
— Tavi Gevinson (@tavitulle) May 3, 2013
Growns who think teen tweets are dumb (#followateen) should see their fellow adults'. Today we dare to #followanadult. Join us won't you?
— Rookie (@RookieMag) May 3, 2013
My adult relates to #Girls #FollowAnAdult
— Jazmin Martinez(@jazminbobby) May 3, 2013
But then the mean adults co-opted the tag:
my adult only retweets rick warren #followanadult
— Rembert Browne (@rembert) May 3, 2013
my inner teenager doesn't want to work today and would prefer to take the day off and go ride a bike #followanadult
— Mathew Ingram (@mathewi) May 3, 2013
The teens did not like that. They thought perhaps the adults did not understand that the teens were mocking them:
burn RT @rookiemag: It's cute when olds try to act "cool" by taking part in a thing that is essentially mocking them #followanadult
— Rosie Gray (@RosieGray) May 3, 2013
Which brings us to now. The age-old war between teens and adults has moved into cyberspace. Pretty soon cadres of teens might start hacking into adults' computers accounts and stealing their trade secrets. All of this will be adapted into a summer blockbuster. Adults v. Teens. Whoever wins: We all lose.
[image via Shutterstock]