And I mean that literally: Besides employee names, this interoffice birthday card contains all of six words.
Though it might seem callous and dystopian at first blush, anyone who has ever worked in an office knows that the staggering number of man-hours wasted each year on trying to come up with something witty to say on those blasted birthday/get well soon/forced retirement/too bad your cat died cards could be far better wasted looking at funny videos online.
Also, employing this method makes it much easier to determine who should be spared when you inevitably snap.
