Everyone is looking for answers in the Boston Bombers' Chechen ethnicity.
Everyone is looking for answers in the Boston Bombers' Chechen ethnicity. Sarah Kendizor explains why this is dumb.
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Amanda Palmer's "A Poem for Dzhokhar" Is the Worst Poem of All Time
This weekend, as law-enforcement officers across the country devoted their resources to the manhunt and capture of the dangerous criminal Reese Witherspoon, an actual crime against humanity was being...
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Harpoon Pierces Man's Skull in Cleaning Accident, Doesn't Damage Brain
Despite accidentally shooting himself in the face with a speargun last week, Bruno Barcellos de Souza Coutinho of Brazil will somehow manage to leave the hospital with his brain intact. The...
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Gunman Sought After Shootout at Nuclear Power Plant in Tennessee
Police are looking for a suspect who used a boat to access a Tennessee Valley Authority nuclear power plant Sunday morning and exchanged fire with a security guard on the plant grounds before fleeing...
View ArticleChristina Amphlett of the Divinyls, best known for the quintessentially '90s...
Christina Amphlett of the Divinyls, best known for the quintessentially '90s hit "I Touch Myself," is dead at 53. She had multiple sclerosis and breast cancer.
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'Grown-Ass Man' Builds Olive Garden Menu Fort to Hide from Girlfriend
Adam Howell was at an Olive Garden in Charlotte last night when he overheard a couple at a nearby table quarreling Looking over, he couldn't help but admire how the disagreement was ultimately...
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Bloomberg Wants to Raise the Smoking Age to 21
Fresh off the heels of his victory against carbonated-sugar-water terror, New York Mayor Mike Bloomberg is poised to intensify his war on cancer sticks. The mayor and City Council Speaker Christine...
View Article'Fucking Shit' News Anchor Fired After First Day on Job
AJ Clemente, a rookie news anchor from Bismarck, North Dakota, who has already made a name for himself by having the worst first day on the job ever, was officially fired a short while ago. Clemente...
View ArticleSenator Lindsey Graham says the FBI was unaware dead Boston bombing suspect...
Senator Lindsey Graham says the FBI was unaware dead Boston bombing suspect Tamerlan Tsarnaev traveled to Russia for six months in 2011 because of a mistake spelling his name.
View ArticleThat transcendental meditation is already paying off! Rupert Murdoch has...
That transcendental meditation is already paying off! Rupert Murdoch has begun putting his phone-hacking scandal behind him with a slap-on-the wrist shareholder settlement that will be paid in part by...
View ArticlePaul Kevin Curtis, the Prince superfan arrested last week on suspicion of...
Paul Kevin Curtis, the Prince superfan arrested last week on suspicion of sending ricin-tainted letters to Barack Obama and others, was released from jail today.
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Did you know that Maj. Sidney Freedman from M*A*S*H was once married to Diane Arbus? Rest in peace, Maj. Sidney Freedman from M*A*S*H.
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This Is What Happens When You Put Ecstasy in Your Vagina
Eight intrepid women once gathered together for a slumber party during which they gabbed about their moon signs, ate chocolate, and shoved a ton of hallucinogenic drugs up their vaginas. They...
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Best-Selling Author Seeks Female Participant for Erotic Novel Research
Taking the "unpaid intern" degradation to its logical conclusion, erotic novelist Chad Leslie Peters posted an ad late last week to Craigslist seeking a "female participant" for a 30-day love affair...
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This Personal Essay Will Get You Into Columbia
By now, most high school seniors planning to attend college in the fall have selected their chosen institute of higher education. It’s an exciting time for you, Wildcats '13, and you probably have...
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Romantic First Date Ends with Man Carjacking Woman at Gunpoint
A Florida woman who celebrated her 21st birthday last week by going out with a man she met through a series of texts ended up getting carjacked by her date following a romantic walk on the beach....
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Rivers Across the Midwest Expected to Reach Major Flood Levels
Many tributaries and major rivers in the midwest are forecasted to surpass major flood levels over the next week. Because of extremely heavy rainfall and snow in the last week, the surge is moving...
View ArticleThe ongoing evolution of former poet laureate and Pulitzer Prize winner...
The ongoing evolution of former poet laureate and Pulitzer Prize winner Charles Simic into the world's best blogger is the greatest thing going in American letters.
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Burglar Phones Police After Mistaking Family Cat for Another Burglar
A cat is being credited with foiling a burglary after scaring a would-be burglar into thinking there was another thief inside the house. Marius Ionescu, 31, of Benesti, Romania, was in the middle of...
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Justin Bieber’s Monkey Still Languishing in a German Prison
Earlier this month, the world was stunned to learn that The Boy in the Chanel Ski Mask, Justin Bieber, had abandoned his baby capuchin monkey, Mally, in Germany because all prior evidence had...
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