Clik here to view.
NASCAR Racer Jason Leffler Killed After Horrific Sprint Car Crash (UPDATED)
NASCAR driver Jason Leffler was gravely injured in a horrific Sprint Car crash at Bridgeport Speedway this evening. He was extricated from his car and reportedly died of his injuries once he reached...
View ArticleClik here to view.
SC Man Could Spend Years in Prison for Growing Pot to Help Sick Wife
A Bluffton, South Carolina, man who admitted to growing pot plants to help his sick wife was charged with marijuana trafficking after turning himself in this week. 66-year-old Frank Dennis Peters told...
View ArticleClik here to view.
The Story of the 450-Pound Rapper Who Loved Waffle House Too Much
Jelly Roll, a 28-year-old white rapper from Antioch, Tennessee, has eaten at Waffle House more times than he can possibly remember. Hundreds of visits, but more likely thousands, to an inestimable...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Poet Puts Testicles on Sale to Pay for European Tour
Taking the saying "I'd give my left testicle" to its illogical conclusion, veteran poet Raffael Medina Brochero has offered to give both of his testicles in exchange for money to fund his upcoming...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Young People Still Broke As Hell
While the *total* wealth of Americans has recovered from the hit of the recession, those gains are, of course, not evenly distributed. The rich are doing great. Regular Joes, however, are not nearly...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Flatulent Cop Leads Police to 'Cannabis Factory'
A large quantity of marijuana was found inside a residence in Leicester, England, thanks to the incessant farting of a police officer who had recently started a high-protein diet. The gassy policeman...
View ArticleYou may click here to read a news story about the results of a hot dog eating...
You may click here to read a news story about the results of a hot dog eating contest between advertising agency employees.
View ArticleClik here to view.
The Journalist's Guide To Not Getting Charged With Espionage
Journalists nationwide were miffed on Wednesday after New York Congressman and Super Mario Bros. Mini-boss Peter King explicitly called on the Department of Justice to go after Guardian columnist Glenn...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Boston Woman Pays Half a Million Dollars for Tandem Parking Spots
Finding a good parking spot in one of the country's most congested cities is commonly known to be ridiculous. But this ridiculous? Apparently: A Boston woman won a contentious bidding war against her...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Tom Brokaw Remembers Daughters' Menstruation in Father's Day Letter
In honor of Father's Day, a day when mothers across America buy cards for their husbands and then search all over the house for their children so that they can sign the card—they literally don't have...
View ArticleA top commander for a Nazi SS-led unit has been found hiding out in a...
A top commander for a Nazi SS-led unit has been found hiding out in a Ukranian enclave in northeast Minneapolis. Asked by the Associated Press about his time as a Nazi, the 94-year-old Michael Karkoc...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Blimps Are Back
The first golden age of floating dirigibles ended on approximately May 6, 1937. The new golden age of blimpity bleep bloop blimps starts right now! Why fly something in an airplane when you could float...
View ArticleThe Pixies have announced that singer/bassist/McCartney Kim Deal has quit the...
The Pixies have announced that singer/bassist/McCartney Kim Deal has quit the band, or at least that Kim Deal perceives herself as having quit the band, while the other three Pixies "will always...
View ArticleClik here to view.
This "What Is Your Salary?" Thread Is Terrifying/Anxiety Inducing
How much are the kids on Reddit making in a year? A wide range, yeah, but generally: way more than you expect and certainly more than you did at their age and in many cases more than you are right now....
View ArticleClik here to view.
I Read the Daily Mail Every Single Day Because I'm a Monster
I need to make an announcement regarding my credibility as a potential future professional woman and as a human being capable of empathy. I read the Daily Mail. Every single day. That feels good to...
View ArticleClik here to view.
On Flag Day, Defend the U.S. Flag By Punishing Those Who Desecrate It!
Today is Flag Day, America's most important holiday. And while it might seem like a good idea to wear flag wings over your bikini or use a tattered Old Glory as a summer blouse, such actions are...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Kanye West's New Album Leaked and Everyone Already Has a Favorite Line
Yeezus, the sixth album from rapper/producer/maniac Kanye West, leaked to your favorite Torrent site or scene blog this afternoon—just a few days before its official release on Tuesday. And already,...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Man Arrested Over Reply To Speeding Ticket: 'Fuck Your Shitty Town'
Last year, Willian Barboza was caught speeding in the Village of Liberty in upstate New York, but he ended up arrested after he mailed in his fine with a note reading, "Fuck your shitty town, bitches."...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Psychic to Pay Millions to Couple She Claimed Buried Kids in Mass Grave
The Texas psychic responsible for giving local law enforcement officials a bogus tip on a mass grave at the home of a Liberty County couple will need to pay $7 million for the damage she caused the...
View ArticlePeople are drinking less orange juice these days.
People are drinking less orange juice these days.
View Article