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Star Investor Dave McClure Calls Woman "Lying Bitch" During Speech

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It's pretty hard to bomb a middling startup conference in Nebraska, and yet blowhard venture capitalist Dave McClure did just that today in a rambling, faux-edgy, profanity-crusted rant about nothing. I think he lost the audience somewhere around when he called one member a bitch for no reason.

His talk—an uninspired, insulting, meandering ripoff of Louis CK's famous "Everything Sucks" bit—never got off the ground. McClure vomits at length about how pathetically uninspired most startups are, then says that nobody should bother trying, and leave real creativity to men like Elon Musk. OK. Listening to a fuck you-filled screed on the importance of innovation is a tall order coming from a guy who has directly invested money into an underpants delivery company. He quickly lost control of his mega-lame "discussion," and resorted to picking on members of the audience. When one woman answered a question about her iPhone's battery life (!), McClure called her a "lying bitch." What showmanship!

It was exactly as obnoxious as it sounds, and the conference's attendees—who came to receive advice and insight about their dreams—are already flocking to Twitter:

McClure, to his credit, is already apologizing en masse via Twitter (can you really say something so trivial is to someone's credit? Never mind, no you cannot). McClure has long prided himself on being a bad boy, in-your-face venture capitalist, which only works when you're really a bad boy, and anyone wants you to be in their face. If the only x-treme truth you have to offer is the persona of an insecure 9th-grade boy at a Rage Against The Machine show, we all ought to start to question why this man is in charge of investing large sums of money on a regular basis.

Update: McClure has provided the following counterfactual clarification:

Aspiring BBW Fetish Model Gorging Herself to Gain 200 Pounds

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It's good to have goals. For instance, 23-year-old fetish model Tammy Jung wants to gain 200 pounds so she can become "an Internet sex symbol."

But putting away some 5,000 calories a day can be tough. Luckily, Jung has boyfriend and head cheerleader Johan Ubermen to help her meet her "daily dietary requirements."

"I start the day with a huge breakfast of waffles, cream cheese, bacon and sausage then head to McDonalds for a few burgers in the afternoon," Jung told the Huffington Post UK. "I can snack on cheese all day, a couple of blocks is no problem, then for dinner I'll either eat pizzas or make Mexican food."

When she's too tired to lift her arms to cut her food, Jung has Uberman prepare a weight-gain shake using "heavy whip cream and a whole tub of ice cream," and then feed it to her like a gavaged duck — through a funnel.

"The funnel forces me to drink the shake even when I'm full after a day of eating," Jung says.

Though she insists she's never been happier, Jung says she is ultimately force-feeding herself for the sake of her fans. "My career ambition is to become as popular as possible," she told Barcroft Media.

Through her fetish site, Jung expects to ultimately earn $3,100 a month.

The LA native, who currently clocks in at just over 230 pounds, says she expects to reach her goal of 420 by the end of next year.

That is, if she lives that long.

[H/T: BroBible, screengrabs via Barcroft Media]

Our New National Emblem: Bald Eagles Looting Fish Guts from Truck Bed

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Police in Unalaska, Alaska, were dispatched to a Safeway parking lot last week when dozens of Bald Eagles, America's proud national bird, swarmed on a pickup truck to eat disgusting fish parts from trash bags in the truck's bed.

Alaskan public radio station KUCB has the story, which is basically that a guy went to the store with a bunch of dead fish in his pickup truck and returned to his vehicle to find it covered in filthy, freeloading, and covetous eagles.

Public Safety Director Jamie Sunderland sent out some of his men: "[T]here were so many eagles that they were, I think, somewhat alarmed to go near the vehicle, because it was just being swarmed by eagles."

Now let us remember the words of Benjamin Franklin: "For my own part I wish the Bald Eagle had not been chosen the Representative of our Country. He is a Bird of bad moral Character. He does not get his Living honestly."

[Image and video via Tim Moyer]

At least two American newspapers make employees buy online subscriptions to read their own stories.

Suri Cruise Is Not Designing a Fun Sexy Clothing Line for Children

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Looks like America's children will continue dressing like derelicts and frumpalumps for the foreseeable future; Suri Cruise, the fashion goddess who could have made Sex and the City chic accessible for toddlers, is not designing an eponymous clothing line, despite several reports Friday to the contrary.

The root of the rumors appears to have been this item from the Sun, in which an anonymous and most likely fictitious source explains that, while designing and marketing her own fashion line will be "a nice hobby" for Suri (who is seven), she isn't going to let it "take over her life."

There was also this:

The initial idea was for Suri to have a fashion blog, but the concept was extended after she started to talk about special designs for her clothes.

Isn't that how all fashion lines start? An adult hires a seven year old to write a fashion blog and before long the kid is saying things like "My favorite hat is a blue hat" and "I wish I had a princess dress" and *poof* she's signing a contract worth $2.3M contract (in print letters, because she hasn't learned cursive yet) to generate iconic and timeless clothing designs for her peers.

Sadly, it seems that, yet again, a child's life has gotten in the way of America's fashion dreams. A spokesman for Suri's mother, Katie Holmes, told Vogue UK the rumors were "100 percent false" Friday afternoon.

[Image via Getty]

To contact the author of this post, email caity@gawker.com.



Annnnd, layoffs at the Columbia Journalism Review cap a remarkably awful layoff-filled week for New

Is Jimmy Kimmel Making Fake Mean Tweets About Celebrities?

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Yesterday, as we reported earlier, Jimmy Kimmel hosted the fourth round of his feature "Celebrities Read Mean Tweets," in which real, live celebrities read negative Twitter messages about themselves aloud.

Journalist and writer Rebecca Dana found some of them so funny that she suspected they were written by professionally funny people. So she checked on Twitter to see if any professional comedians were behind them. Instead, it seemed that no one was: Some of these tweets or the accounts purportedly behind them didn't exist.

What better use of a calm Friday afternoon than to take the investigation further, through the whole history of the feature? Many of the accounts, on examination, had been suspended. That's not too surprising, given that they had been publicly highlighted for rudeness. But a few accounts had only posted one message—the one that amazingly made it on Jimmy Kimmel Live. Maybe they were set up as burners, for the writers to dismiss one star of choice and get out of there? A few accounts and tweets never turned up at all.

The first round of "Celebrities Read Mean Tweets" seems to be clean. All 14 of those posts are held by real, probably mean, Twitter users, who are still actively griping. The next set also looks pretty solid, with only two dubious accounts. But by the third round of "Celebrities Read Mean Tweets," three of the posts were suspicious, and one seems certainly fake. In the fourth and most recent installment, it's likely that four of the 13 posts are fake, with one more very suspicious contender.

The standouts of possible sham slander are below, with the videos of celebrities reading mean tweets following each set.

ROUND 1: 100 PERCENT VERIFIED or 92 PERCENT VERIFIED [UPDATED]

Of the fourteen total tweets, all of them seem to check out. Many of the original users are still writing foolish or mildly offensive posts, further confirming the quality of their character. Their last tweets include information about Jamba Juice, steroids, twerking, and Match.com.

ROUND TWO: 81 PERCENT VERIFIED.

Only two insults from the second round of "Celebrities Read Mean Tweets" don't totally check out.

  • @Big Grains wrote: "If Mike Piazza's hair caught fire and someone put it out with a cast iron skillet, you'd have Danny McBride."

DUBIOUS. This user has one tweet which was featured on Jimmy Kimmel live (we took out the space between "Big" and "Grains").

  • @dusted221 wrote: "Ever since @matisyahu shaved, he looks like old, fat Justin Bieber."

DUBIOUS. No evidence of this tweet, account is now suspended.

THIRD ROUND: 73 PERCENT VERIFIED.

The veracity of these accounts slips further in unaccountability. While 11 of the 15 usernames check out—and are still continuing to grouse, insult, and worm around on twitter—there is one account that had no results and three that were dubious.

  • @theeznuts1 wrote: "@selenagomez is on the radio right now. Is there a volume lower than mute?"

DUBIOUS. Probably real, now suspended, but only wrote three posts.

  • @212mseol wrote: "@DrPhil, why don't you shut the fuck up you bald-headed, big-mouthed hillbilly."

PROBABLY FAKE. No tweets or username associated with @212mseol.

  • @DonkeyGoatFace wrote: "No one else finds Hayden Panettiere intolerable"

DUBIOUS. Only responsible for one tweet, which appeared on Jimmy Kimmel.

  • @elgrizzolito wrote: "@RealTenaciousD, You guys are like Lennon and McCartney, only fatter and gayer."

DUBIOUS. Only four tweets, all November 8th. Isn't following anyone.

FOURTH ROUND: 61 PERCENT VERIFIED.

Apparently, the Jimmy Kimmel staff knew it had a good thing going. Of the 13 tweets selected for the fourth iteration of "Celebrities Read Mean Tweets," only eight were A-OK. Four seemed like they were probably invented, one other rated suspicion.

  • @Zyx443 wrote: "Hey @zachbraff, I could take a picture of a piece of s#!t in my toilet and it would be a better movie than Garden State."

PROBABLY FAKE. No tweets or username associated with @Zyx443.

  • @tweetlikeitsmyj wrote: "F*@k @BradPaisley and his f*@king country singing f*@king face."

PROBABLY FAKE. No tweets or username associated with @tweetlikeitsmyj.

  • @saaanex9 wrote: "@KellyRipa is kind of amazing, when you think about how hard it must be to balance that huge head on a tiny body."

DUBIOUS. This account boasts 209 tweets, but many of them have a Horse_ebooks quality. @saaanex9 is following no one, and no one is following @saaanex9.

  • @TWOSOUTHWRECKIN wrote: "Dear @nodoubt, The only thing in doubt is whether us music makes me want to puke or kill myself & then puke. Sincerely, everyone."

PROBABLY FAKE. No tweets or username associated with @TWOSOUTHWRECKIN.

  • @GOLF-GUY_127 wrote: "It's a good thing Ray Romano is funny because his face looks like a dump I took today."

PROBABLY FAKE. This was one of the original tweets that sent up red flags, as the user-name would be impossible to make on Twitter. If you turn the dash into an underscore nothing turns up. If you take out all dashes, this user only has two tweets. Neither about Ray Romano.

It's hard to believe there's not enough genuine negativity on Twitter for the show to work with. Let that chaotic realm of inanity do the work for you, comedians. Take the afternoon off.

To contact the author of this post, email maggie@gawker.com.


Would You Watch a Point Break Remake Directed by Wes Anderson?

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How about David Lynch? Or mumblecore pioneer Joe Swanberg? Or self-made-weirdo-slash-spoon-aficionado Tommy Wiseau?

The bad news is that Kathryn Bigelow's cult 1991 action flick Point Break is probably getting a very unnecessary remake.

The good news is that this terrible idea has allowed filmmaker Patrick Willems ("the Terrence Malick of YouTube") to imagine what that remake might look like if helmed by some of the best cult directors in offbeat cinema today.

And just like that you're suddenly wishing at least one of these were real.

[H/T: Bleeding Cool]

Citing only "undesirable activities," Pakistan has ordered the expulsion of the New York Times' Isla

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Citing only "undesirable activities," Pakistan has ordered the expulsion of the New York Times' Islamabad bureau chief, Declan Walsh. Surely this has nothing to do with the nation's impending elections.

Jason Richwine, whose immigration-policy analysis for the Heritage Foundation was informed by his ea

What the Fuck Is All This Benghazi Shit: An Explainer

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Your uncle has been posting on Facebook about "Benghazi" or whatever for months now, and you have no clue what the fuck he's talking about because, really, you don't have time for this shit. It's OK. We do. Here's your guide.

What the fuck is all this Benghazi shit?

On September 11 of last year (you might remember), an attack on the American consulate in Benghazi, Libya, ended in the death of four Americans: staffers Sean Smith, Glen Doherty, and Tyrone Woods; and U.S. Ambassador Chris Stevens.

Initially, the deaths were blamed by the Obama administration on a "spontaneous protest" like the many taking place that day over the anti-Islam film (or film concept) Innocence of Muslims. But it was later determined that the strike was a premeditated terrorist attack.

A few hours after Stevens' death was confirmed, Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney released a statement accusing the president of "sympathiz[ing] with those who waged the attacks." For this, he was widely excoriated as someone trying to cash in politically on the killing of Americans.

Right, but, like: What the fuck? Why doesn't everyone shit their pants like this every time four Americans get killed in a foreign country?

Well, part of it is that Stevens, a widely respected career diplomat, was the first U.S. ambassador to be murdered in three decades.

The other is that Republicans and conservatives have convinced themselves that Benghazi is a major, Watergate-level scandal.

A Watergate-level scandal? Why the fuck would that be the case?

Well, the conservative actors don't seem to be able to agree on why, exactly; or, they agree that every single thing that happened that day was scandal-worthy, somehow. (So far no one except the real crazies seems to have even insinuated criminality, but people died so of course it's worse than the outright crimes perpetrated by the White House in Watergate, somehow.)

In increasing order of craziness, here's what the proposed and possible scandals are:

  • The scandal is the State Department's failure to adequately protect and secure the Benghazi compound, despite requests to do so from Ambassador Stevens. This is an actual, documented failure, and basically everyone agrees that it is a scandal, and it is what the State Department's own report, released in December, found: "Systemic failures and leadership and management deficiencies at senior levels…resulted in a Special Mission security posture that was inadequate for Benghazi and grossly inadequate to deal with the attack that took place." It's also not what anyone in Congress seems to care about.
  • The scandal is the administration's failure to undertake immediate military action as soon as it heard that attacks were taking place. This week House Republicans paraded a series of witnesses in front of the Committee on Oversight and Government Reform to testify that the Obama administration and the Pentagon didn't do everything they could have to save the Benghazi consulate. The idea seems to be that there is some badass special operations team that could have been instantly deployed to rescue the Benghazi personnel—but the Pentagon has flatly denied this, and the numbers don't add up anyway.
  • The scandal is that the administration attempted to cover up the fact that Benghazi was a terrorist attack, so the news wouldn't harm Obama in the election. This is the one that has mainstream conservatives salivating. They're specifically interested in the talking points used by U.N. Ambassador Susan Rice, who (during appearances on Sunday talk shows) said that the attack grew out of spontaneous protests; today, ABC's Jonathan Karl released a series of a memos showing how the State Department successfully lobbied for the removal of some references to terrorists. This, Republicans claim, proves—uh, well it proves that White House Press Secretary Jay Carney lied about there being no "substantive" revisions to the talking points, depending on how you define "substantive." The memos don't make the State Department look noble, but they also show that before and throughout the revision process the top talking point across all memos was still about spontaneous protests—and that the motivation was more inter-agency cover-your-ass jockeying than protecting Obama.
  • The scandal is that the Benghazi consulate was a CIA front being used to sell arms to Syrian rebels. This is what, uh, Senator Rand Paul seems to believe (or at least seems to think it's convenient for him to seem to believe): "I’ve actually always suspected that, although I have no evidence, that maybe we were facilitating arms leaving Libya going through Turkey into Syria," he told CNN. In fairness to Paul, part of whatever confusing and misdirection was happening around Benghazi was the CIA lying because the CIA lies without regard to party. (One thing those ABC memos do show is the CIA trying to foist all blame off on the State Department.) But as Paul himself acknowledges, this particular conspiracy theory has almost nothing to do with the mainstream "Obama was unready and tried to cover up the terrorism" line—it's more of an InfoWars thing than a Daily Caller thing. Nevertheless, it insinuates that something bad happened, so it gets play.
  • The scandal is that the Obama administration colluded with terrorists, possibly to fake a kidnapping that would result in the release of the 1993 World Trade Center bomber Omar Abdel Rahman, as an October surprise. The Atlantic Wire's Elspeth Reeve runs this one down. I don't even know.

So all this Benghazi shit is bullshit?

Most of it, yeah.

Okay, so, what's the fucking deal?

As befits a scandal as overdetermined as this one, there are a bunch of fucking deals. There's the deal where the State Department actually did fail to protect its employees, and should be held accountable, and only barely has been.

There's the deal where Republicans are trying to kneecap Hillary Clinton in advance of an anticipated 2016 run ("at the very least, Mrs. Clinton should never hold high office again," Paul writes in the Washington Times today).

There's the deal where this is a sad, late mulligan on Romney's response, a little proto-revisionism to suggest that his doomed and incompetent campaign was defeated through the perfidy of the White House, rather than its own pointlessness and awfulness.

There's the deal where House Republicans and Fox News are trapped in a tight feedback loop, like two best friends with inexplicable inside jokes told in Oppish.

And there's the usual deal where Obama is a Muslim and he did 9/11, or whatever.

Teen's Attempt to Pull Dumbest Internet Prank Ends Smashingly

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You'd think that, after the kids behind the universally reviled "gallon smashing" fad nearly went to jail over it, teens would stop trying to imitate the wasteful, inconsiderate, and downright dangerous prank.

Well, they haven't.

But that's okay, because there's an upside to this senseless, wanton destruction of property: We get to watch some punk try to fake an injury — and get seriously injured instead.

This Reddit comment sums up the whole thing perfectly: "Play stupid games, win stupid prizes."

[H/T: Reddit]

The Week in Movies: the Great Gatsby, Aftershock, Sightseers, Peeples

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Welcome to Annotate This, where we concisely gather reviews, trailers, and annotate the posters for movies heading to your local cineplex or art house theater this week. Click on the image above to add your comments to the mix.

The Great Gatsby

This movie garnered so much hype before its release, they even turned it into a book, which I've heard is mainly based on the soundtrack. One reviewer had to use razzle-dazzle and razzmatazz in the same sentence. Our review by Rich Juzwiak is here.


Peeples

A Meet the Parents rehashing in which a regular guy, played by a funny guy Craig Robinson, meets the super preppy family of his girlfriend, Olivia Pope Kerry Washington. It's reportedly very French.


Stories We Tell (Limited Release)

Directed by Sarah Polley, who also made the wonderful/heartbreaking Take This Waltz, this is a truth-bending film about documentary, story-telling, and family secrets. It's elegiac and exuberant and entertaining.


No One Lives (Limited Release)

With an original premise, a vicious gang captures a seemingly normal couple and entombs them in an abandoned cabin. Twists abound! And yes, you read right—this movie comes from "the director of Midnight Meat Train."


He's Way More Famous Than You (Limited Release)

In what reads like an elongated Jennifer Lawrence-in-real-life impression, Halley Feiffer plays herself. As she tries to revive her starlet status amid the movie industry's vicious popularity contest, He's Way More Famous Than You both makes fun of its crassness but spouts a lot of crassness. It's been called unhinged, in a good way.


Venus and Serena (Limited Release)

Not actually a planetary documentary about planets, this is about Venus and Serena Williams, their tennis-playing, and amazing ability to remain sisters. P.S. Venus is obsessed with karaoke.


Sightseers (Limited Release)

A couple goes journeying through the British Isles in a camper and then find themselves in a hilarious and fatal comedy-of-manners.


And Now a Word from Our Sponsor (Limited Release)

This movie has Parker Posey and Bruce Greenwood in it, but it also looks like it might be nonsense. The premise is that one dude can only talk in advertising slogans for the whole movie.


Assault on Wall Street (Limited Release)

In this movie, an average New Yorker loses "everything" when the economy crashes. Therefore, a revenge story. For an idea about its complexity, its subheading is three words offset by periods: "POWER. GREED. JUSTICE."


Aftershock (Limited Release)

Eli Roth presents and co-wrote Aftershock with director Nicolas Lopez. It's an adventure-travel-horror story about an American tourist in Chile, who meets some gorgeous female travelers. When everything seems to good to be true, there will be a disaster.

Behold the Freedom Tower's Finishing Touch


Crime-Plagued Oakland Loses New Police Chief After Two Days

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Oakland is a world-class city with world-class terrible crime and a forever scandalized police force that often does more harm than good. Meet new OPD Chief Anthony Toribio and then say good-bye, because he's out after two days on the job.

Toribio was the deputy police chief before his two days as police chief, which followed the resignation of previous new chief Howard Jordan, who also abruptly resigned. As of late Friday afternoon, Sean Whent is "acting police chief," but this is hardly indicative of the name of the new or acting chief later today, or this weekend, or Monday.

From the San Francisco Chronicle:

A report last week by Thomas Frazier, appointed by a federal judge to oversee Police Department compliance with court-ordered reforms, said police supervisors were failing to hold officers accountable for abusive actions.

This week, a report by a city-commissioned consultant team led by [former NYPD commissioner] William Bratton said the department was so ineffectively structured that there was only one part-time investigator assigned to handle the 10,000 burglary reports filed last year.

The department has been under the oversight of a federal court monitor due to its failure to fully comply with court-ordered reforms stemming from a decade-old police abuse case.

Oakland has a lot going for it, with fine weather and famous sports teams and bohemian neighborhoods and great restaurants and shady downtown lake and fancy hillside enclaves as pricey as anywhere in the San Francisco Bay Area. But Oakland also has a persistently terrible crime plague and a police department in constant crisis.

The sprawling city's 400,000 good people live in fear of approximately 1,000 persistent violent criminals along with a bold handful of truly awful cops. We might just have to face the hard facts that Oakland is suffering from a magical curse.

In a comment on the Oakland Tribune site, one reader offered probably the best idea to fix not just OPD, but the grossly mismanaged City Hall in charge of the department:

Is it possible to revoke the city charter and start from scratch? Prime Bay Area real estate land wasting away due to mis-management. Major West Coast port, railway, airport, regional mass transit, lake, hills, and boating docks in the central location of SF Bay, yet it's one of the most avoided cities in Cali. Any ideas?

[Photo: Getty Images.]

3D-Printed Gun Site Gets Censored By The State Department

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"No Takedowns. Ever." That was the defiant message that Cody Wilson delivered in a YouTube video promoting Defense Distributed, an organization he founded dedicated to designing and distributing plans for weapons that anyone can make using a 3D printer at home. But after Defense Distributed was targeted by the U.S State Department, Wilson and his colleagues have taken the plans down, for now.

In the past few months, Wilson, a 25-year-old law student at the University of Texas, has become something of an internet folk hero for his blustery campaign to make gun schematics as easily downloaded on the internet as Mad Men episodes. Earlier this month Wilson demonstrated the "Liberator," the first completely 3D-printed gun. 3D printing is being hailed by libertarian nerds as the most disruptive technology since Bitcoin, putting the power to physically print anything that can be designed on a computer (as long as it's made out of plastic). 3D printed guns have caused gun nuts and geeks to form up into a sort of Libertarian voltron.

But yesterday, the State Department ordered Defense Distributed's website, DEFCAD.org, to remove a number of blueprints for guns because they believe they may violate international arms regulations. Wilson did.

"We have to comply," Wilson told Forbes. "All such data should be removed from public access, the letter says. That might be an impossible standard. But we'll do our part to remove it from our servers." Predictably, copies of the files, which have been downloaded 100,000 times so far, have been compiled into torrents that are now being distributed by The Pirate Bay. (Kim Dotcom is also involved in this story, as Defense Distributed uploaded their plans to his Mega file-locker site, which means 3D printed guns connects pretty much every node of this particular internet subculture.)

The more ardent techno-libertarians say that the Liberator and Defense Distributed proves that gun control is now pointless since anyone can make their own using the files that have now spread throughout the internet. But as the State Department takedown shows, even virtual gun nuts still have to obey the law. If you were extremely determined you could still track down the gun files on the Pirate Bay and print your own. Or you could buy a much better gun the old fashioned way, at a barely-regulated gun show.

Kanye Walks Into Pole, Immediately Becomes Livid That Poles Exist

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Kanye West walked into a pole in Beverly Hills this afternoon and TMZ captured the moment on video, sort of (their cameraman had already rounded a corner by the time forehead-on-pole contact occurred, though he did rush over to film Kanye and girlfriend Kim Kardashian nursing the wound). This moment represents a low point for all of us: the cameraman for failing to capture the moment of collision, then running back excitedly after it had passed; Kim Kardashian for waking up this morning and dressing herself like a pregnant Morticia Addams; all of us, who came here because we thought it might be funny to see Kanye West run into a pole (final verdict: not as funny as I thought it would be, though it's hard to say how funny it might have been in the hands of a skilled videographer); Kanye West for running into a pole.

A few minutes after that pole came out of nowhere and bit him on the nose, West burst out of the restaurant he and Kardashian were eating in and began screaming frantically, miserably at a photographer to stop photographing him, which makes the whole scene even worse, somehow.

Don't take a-fucking-nother photo man. Don't take another fucking photo man! Don't take no photos! Stop it! All of you motherfuckers stop it, man!

Earlier in the day, Kim Kardashian tweeted an image of herself posing for a photoshoot because photos are how Kim achieves money and fame.

[Image via Getty]

To contact the author of this post, email caity@gawker.com.

A tribunal in Guatemala has found former dictator Efrain Rios Montt guilty of genocide and crimes ag

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