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Associated Press Dutifully Reports Twitter Parody as Fact

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Associated Press Dutifully Reports Twitter Parody as Fact

In a place as strange and wonderful as the Internet, it can be tough even for web-native publications to get all the facts straight, but old media seems to have a special talent for fucking them completely sideways. Take, for example, the Associated Press and New York Daily News, who yesterday reported a brazen attack by bicycle terrorists in New York, using a tweet from a clearly identified parody account as their only source.

Early Tuesday morning, an unknown party replaced the American flags atop the Brooklyn Bridge with white flags, an act that @BicycleLobby—which mocks Dorothy Rabinowitz's insane comments last year about the all-powerful "bike lobby"—jokingly took responsibility for:

Having never heard a joke before (and failing to read the part of @BicycleLobby's bio that reads "parody account"), the AP and New York Daily News treated this claim as legit news, running the headlines "Bikers say they put white flags on Brooklyn Bridge" and "White flags on top of Brooklyn Bridge hoisted by pro-bicycling group."

Associated Press Dutifully Reports Twitter Parody as Fact

By Wednesday, the outlets had realized their error and scrubbed the headlines, but not before they had been screencapped by journalismism fans for posterity. Luckily for the AP, @BicycleLobby was willing to turn their confusion into a unique business opportunity:


4-Year-Old Banned From Donut Shop for Asking Woman If She's Pregnant

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4-Year-Old Banned From Donut Shop for Asking Woman If She's Pregnant

A curious kid has reportedly been banned from a Monroe, Conn., donut shop because he asked another customer whether she was pregnant. She was not. She was just in a donut shop.

Four-year-old Justin Otero's mother, Rebecca Denham, told WFSB she was "mortified" at Justin's question and apologized immediately on her son's behalf.

"My response was 'Oh my goodness, I'm so embarrassed, I'm so sorry,'" Denham said.

The woman took it all in stride and accepted the apology, but the managers of the Doughnut Inn don't forgive so easily. When Denham and Justin showed up the next morning, they were told the little boy wasn't welcome.

"She said, 'he's not allowed in here,' and I looked around, and said, 'him?' and she said 'yeah, he's rude'," Denham told WFSB.

Denham says she tried to explain the situation to Justin and feels he "sort of" understands what happened. For now, she says they'll be "taking their business elsewhere," as if Doughnut Inn gave them a choice.

The manager and owner of the donut shop declined to comment.

[ H/T BuzzFeed, Photo: WFSB]

Twitter Buries Pathetic Diversity Numbers Behind Facebook News

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Twitter Buries Pathetic Diversity Numbers Behind Facebook News

After initially dragging their feet, Twitter has finally released their diversity numbers, one minute before the industry's biggest financial news. It's easy to see why: the company is just as lily white as every other big tech player.

The report was released in a blog post titled "Building a Twitter we can be proud of." Twitter writes that they "are joining some peer companies by sharing our ethnic and gender diversity data." They also join their peers in mostly looking the exact same. In fact, Twitter has one of the worst gender breakdowns in Silicon Valley. Facebook's workforce is 69 percent male and Yahoo sits at 62 percent. Only Google matches Twitter's 70 percent male staff.

But Twitter's male-heavy statistics is only made worse by their ethnic breakdown:

Twitter Buries Pathetic Diversity Numbers Behind Facebook News

Twitter's 2 percent black workforce is pitifully low. And yet, 2 percent is the norm across every single Silicon Valley giant that has released its numbers. Similarly low numbers are seen across Silicon Valley for Hispanic and Latino workers, despite California being home to one of the nation's largest Hispanic and Latino populations.

Their numbers show, yet again, that the odds are stacked against you in Silicon Valley if you weren't born white or Asian. Fortunately, Twitter is on it.

At Twitter, we have a goal to reach every person on the planet. We believe that goal is more attainable with a team that understands and represents different cultures and backgrounds.

We also know that it makes good business sense to be more diverse as a workforce – research shows that more diverse teams make better decisions, and companies with women in leadership roles produce better financial results. But we want to be more than a good business; we want to be a business that we are proud of.

It's also "moral" to have a workforce that's representative of the overall population. Yet, to Twitter, the bottom line is number one.

To Twitter's credit, they have made motions to address the problem. In their diversity report, they outline the organizations they partner with to bring more, including Girl Geek Dinners and sf.girls. But Twitter says it best: "we have a lot of work to do."

Video Surfaces of NYPD Choking Another Handcuffed Black Man

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The NYPD technically bans itself from using chokeholds on suspects, but in practice its officers have a demonstrated history of ignoring that rule. It became clear this past weekend when a Staten Island man named Eric Garner was killed after being choked by two officers, and now a new video has surfaced showing two more using the same maneuver.

In the new video, which was recorded on July 14 and circulated on Facebook, two uniformed NYPD officers struggle with a handcuffed man at the 125th & Lexington subway stop in Harlem at 3 p.m. The cops instruct the man to put his hands behind his back and submit to being arrested, but as he refuses, one officer punches him squarely in the face multiple times while engaging him in a textbook chokehold. Drops of blood can clearly be seen on the tiled floor as several bystanders record the incident on their phones and chastise police.

According to DNAinfo, the NYPD would not release the names of the victim or the arresting officers, though a spokesperson did say that the incident is being reviewed by internal affairs. Considering that the cop who killed Eric Garner was on patrol despite the city having settled two suits filed against him, I wouldn't expect much to come of it.

[via DNAinfo]

Gizmodo The Untold History of How Autocorrect Came To Be | Jalopnik Here’s Why Monaco Is The World’s

​Wednesday TV Heads Through the Wormhole for Good

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​Wednesday TV Heads Through the Wormhole for Good

Tonight we've got apes—in college and getting laid—Scientologists, bisexual erasure, imaginary Australians, and we bid a fond farewell to Morgan Freeman as he winks out of existence and into another dimension.

At 8/7c. there's more America's Got Talent Boot Camp and SYTYCD will drop to the Top 14, but obviously it's all about Big Brother at my house. Fingers crossed the POV shakes up the current nominations or I'm going to throw a dang fit. Alternately, you could watch PBS's My Wild Affair, a cute show about animals that think they're people, and which tonight features an orangutan raised on a college campus. (Spoiler alert: Ape eventually rushes SAE, raising their GPA almost an entire point. Spoiler letdown: Ape is not raised by James Franco. Just some scientists.)

At 9/8c. ID's show about cults, Deadly Devotion, goes after Scientology, while in other space alien news there's another episode of Extant ready to roll and Science Channel weighs in on How The Universe Works (specifically, the Jupiter part of the universe). VH1's hard to understand musical mashup performance show Soundclash finally debuts, and Cynthia Nixon is asked Who Do You Think You Are? on TLC. While most people consider genetics a matter of inherited and environmental characteristics, expect Nixon to break formation as usual with the bold statement that—for her, at least—it's more of a choice.

At 10/9c. a new series based on hot and current film property B.A.P.S. premieres on Lifetime, so that's definitely something to which you should devote some time. PBS continues tonight's searing exposé of orangutan life with a new episode of Sex In The Wild; The Bridge and Wilfred join Teen Mom 2 for some hilarious and rambunctious enjoyment of life's simple pleasures; FYI has another episode of the oddly comforting Tiny House Nation; and Linda Perry goes looking for the "weakest link" on her VH1 songwriting show.

Sadly, tonight marks the end of the fifth season of Through The Wormhole With Morgan Freeman, this time asking "When Did Time Begin?" For me it is almost certainly the moment that Winnie Cooper kissed Kevin Arnold in the Wonder Years pilot, I don't really remember anything going on before that point—never really talked about it afterward, but I think about the events of that day again and again, and somehow I know that Winnie does too—but that could be different for different people; I'm not over here trying to act like an expert on the wormhole, or exactly how things work once you're through it.

Winnie Cooper: "Knock knock."
Kevin: "Who's there?"
Winnie Cooper: "Sam and Janet."
Kevin: "Sam and Janet who?"

And then Winnie Cooper sings "Some Enchanted Evening." People say women can be funny but I really wonder sometimes.

At 11/10c. there's a new episode of Virgin Territory, which is pretty sweet and pretty fake as we assumed, and also a Watch What Happens: Live about which I have no information at this time. Honestly if they just played the post-leg episode from last night every day at 11/10c. from here on out, that would be fine with me. What good television that was.

[ Image via TLC]

Morning After is a new home for television discussion online, brought to you by Gawker. What are you watching tonight? What are we missing out on? Recommendations and discussions down below.

Three Women Arrested in al Shabaab Financing Conspiracy

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Three Women Arrested in al Shabaab Financing Conspiracy

Three women were arrested and two more are being sought in connection to an alleged financing conspiracy for the extremist Muslim group al Shabaab, the Justice Department announced Wednesday. The women arrested today were allegedly the heads of a network of mostly women that would funnel money to the insurgents in Somalia and Kenya disguised as donations to orphans and other philanthropic causes.

Two women were arrested in the United States and a third in the Netherlands; two others are being sought by authorities in Kenya and Somalia. From Reuters:

Muna Osman Jama, 34, of Reston, Virginia, and Hinda Osman Dhriane, 44, of Kent, Washington, were arrested in their homes on Wednesday, as was Farhia Hassan at her home in the Netherlands.

Two other women involved in the operation, Fardowsa Jama Mohamed who is a fugitive in Kenya and Barira Hassan Abdullahi, a fugitive in Somalia.

The Justice Department has charged the five women with one count of conspiracy and 20 counts of providing material to al Shabaab. From the Los Angeles Times:

According to court records, the defendants referred to the money they sent overseas as "living expenses," and they repeatedly used code words such as "orphans" and "brothers in the mountains" to refer to Shabab fighters, and "camels" to refer to trucks needed by the group, the Justice Department said.

Per CNN, the women face up to 15 years in prison for each count of of providing material support to a foreign terrorist organization.

[Image via AP]

Joseph Wood's Execution in Arizona Lasted Nearly Two Hours

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Joseph Wood's Execution in Arizona Lasted Nearly Two Hours

Joseph Rudolph Wood's execution in Arizona on Wednesday afternoon took nearly two hours after the lethal injection began. His lawyers, claiming that their client was gasping and snorting for an hour, filed an emergency appeal to have the execution stopped. Wood died before a court could act.

"The execution commenced at 1:52 p.m. at the Arizona State Prison Complex (ASPC) - Florence. He was pronounced dead at 3:49 p.m," Arizona Attorney General Tom Horne said in a statement.http://gawker.com/a-brief-histor...

Wood, 55, was convicted in 1989 of killing his girlfriend and her father. His execution came after days of back-and-forth between courts after he claimed that Arizona's secret sourcing of its lethal injection drugs violated the First Amendment. From NBC News:

An appeals panel agreed with him, but the U.S. Supreme Court lifted the stay of execution. The Arizona Supreme Court briefly delayed the execution on Wednesday morning, but ultimately gave the state the green light.

Lawyers representing two other men executed last month—Marcus Wellons in Georgia and John Winfield in Missouri—also filed appeals demanding that their states reveal where they are obtaining their lethal injection drugs, but were denied.

[Image via AP]


Even Comic-Con Has Banned Google Glass

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Even Comic-Con Has Banned Google Glass

It's a bad sign when your futuristic face computer is so universally hated that a conference full of Iron Man fanboys bans its presence.

The ban stemmed from concerns that Glass could enable wearers to surreptitiously record sessions. As Comic-Con's convention policies states:

Remember recording of footage on the screens during panels is prohibited. This includes Google Glasses. You cannot wear Google Glasses during footage viewing in any program room. If your Google Glasses are prescription, please bring a different pair of glasses to use during these times.

This is no doubt bummer news for the leagues of Google Glass Explorers in San Diego this weekend. Last year, Glass was a reported hit at the annual geek-fest, with one attendee writing in CNET that he experienced "outright fandom" while sporting a face computer at the conference.

As I walked through the expo hall or while waiting in line for sessions, it wasn't uncommon for me to see people do a double-take, then turn to someone and whisper something about "Google Glass." On several occasions, I got high-fives and congratulations from people who clearly would love them. On three different occasions, I actually had people run after me for a closer look.

Nothing like this had ever happened to me before, wearing Glass. But it's not surprising. It's almost like they'd come home, to an audience that would be naturally receptive to them.

When that "naturally receptive" audience is sending you home, what's left?

Screenshot: Boonsri Dickinson, via SFist

Hazing Investigation: Ohio State Band Members Are Horny And Depraved

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Hazing Investigation: Ohio State Band Members Are Horny And Depraved

The Ohio State University marching band is in some shit after an investigation revealed the band to be more or less Porky's with tubas and kettle drums. A report stemming from the university's two-month investigation has quite a few details on the internal goings-on of the Best Damn Band in the Land, including the raunchy nicknames bestowed by upperclassmen (like "Pat Fenis"), explicit fight songs for rival schools, and "tricks" performed by members.

Let's start with the tricks, which the report defines as "acts individual Band members perform, either on command or at their own volition." One girl pretended to have an orgasm on her younger brother's lap. Her nickname, according to the report, was "Squirt."

Hazing Investigation: Ohio State Band Members Are Horny And Depraved

Each new member of the band got a nickname. The report provides a list of some of them, including "Jewoobs." How does one pronounce "Jewoobs"?

Hazing Investigation: Ohio State Band Members Are Horny And Depraved

Hazing Investigation: Ohio State Band Members Are Horny And Depraved

There was also a booklet of vulgar fight songs for many other schools. (Flip to page 51 of the report.) They're quite explicit.

Hazing Investigation: Ohio State Band Members Are Horny And Depraved

And some other non-fight songs made by a very bad Weird Al:

Hazing Investigation: Ohio State Band Members Are Horny And Depraved

Band director Jonathan Waters—un-nicknamed, so far as we can tell—was fired as a result of the investigation; a replacement hasn't been named. Former Ohio Attorney General Betty Montgomery will lead a second investigation.

Read the full report here.

[ The Columbus Dispatch]

Chemtrails Don't Exist and Shasta County Is Ground Zero for Stupid

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Chemtrails Don't Exist and Shasta County Is Ground Zero for Stupid

The makers of Reynolds Wrap are thrilled to announce the latest loony chapter in the long running battle against chemtrails, with residents of Shasta County, California DEMANDING that their county stop the federal government from spraying them with non-existent chemicals. L'horreur!

If you haven't heard, the "chemtrail" conspiracy theory insists that the condensation trails (contrails) left behind by the moist exhaust of high-flying aircraft are really jets of chemicals sprayed out to make you sick or change the weather. It's a well-documented strain of crazy and patently untrue.

Well, it's the middle of the summer and they're at it again. Last week, more than 400 people set an attendance record at the County Board of Supervisors meeting in Shasta County, California to bring attention to and demand action on the scourge of chemtrail spraying. Supervisor Les Baugh announced the topic as "a discussion to receive input and discuss matters regarding geoengineering chemtrails, consider providing direction to staff, and consider taking other appropriate action as necessary."

In other words, Shasta County decided to let the crazies talk craziness. According to mtshastanews.com, the Board actually agreed to investigate the "chemtrails" by the end of the meeting.

In a unanimous decision during their regular meeting July 15, Supervisors David Kehoe, Leonard Moty, Pam Giancomini, Bill Schappel and Chair Les Baugh agreed to determine if the county's current monitoring program is up to detecting the presence of aluminum oxide nan-oparticles in the air, water and soil.

Schappel rejected a suggestion from county staff to rely on federal studies on the issue, stating, "Any federal information will be skewed. We need a local study, then take the results to the feds and say, what about this?"

Here is the hour-long meeting in its entirety, with the main discussion led by the man who makes a lot of money off of gullible people by running a website called "Geoengineering Watch."

Mr. Baugh entertained most of the questions. Around the 13 minute and 20 second mark, he asks the guy who runs Geoengineering Watch "why does the spraying create a drought in California and flooding in the Midwest?"

The guy answered:

When you aerosolize the storm track, and the science backs up what I'm saying word-for-word, you diminish and disperse the rain. This is not seeding to create rain, it's seeding to create artificial cloud cover. And because there's too many condensation nuclei it tends to disperse that moisture exactly as we've seen over California again and again.

He went on to say that the top scientist for the California Energy Commission agreed with him, as do M.I.T. and Scientific American.

The problem is, he's talking out of his ass. The science does not back up what he's saying, because there is no truth behind the assertion that airplanes from California to Tennessee to North Carolina to France and beyond are spraying chemicals to alter the weather or make people sick. It's just not true. Two months ago I covered most of the chemtrail conspiracy theorists' assertions in a post called "Why I Write About (and Debunk) the Chemtrail Conspiracy Theory."

Lately, they've been using one ridiculous argument that I haven't mentioned in any of my previous posts. They point out that a man filed a patent back in the 1990s to spray chemicals into the atmosphere to stem global warming, claiming that this is proof positive that airplanes are leaving behind immense trails of chemicals. No, it's not. Using chemmie logic, there is also a patent for a time machine, so that proves my theory that Doctor Who is a documentary.

Shasta County, California isn't the only place infected by the asinine conspiracies. Earlier this month, an Arizona State Senator held a meeting in Lake Havasu City to address citizens' concerns about condensation trails. Raw Story reports that officials in Tennessee are also having to deal with a "rising tide of idiots" asking about chemtrails.

If you're waiting with bated breath for their next outburst of lunacy, it's going to be a while. They're too preoccupied with the conspiracies surrounding MH17 to spray out any new nonsense.

[top image of the reptilians spraying us with dihydrogen monoxide taken by the author]


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Bring It! Makes Dance Moms Look Like Some Petty Shit

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Bring It!, Lifetime's best "children who can dance and get yelled at and the moms that love them" show returned last night and won a series recording on my DVR.

Part of me wants to describe the series as an upgraded Dance Moms: there's more girls, better-attended dance competitions that follow a "battle" format, and the level of energy and athletic skill is exponentially higher. But where the show can't compare to Dance Moms is the "catty bullshit" quotient.

While Bring It! is certainly wrought with the emotional suspense of stage moms pinning their dreams on their kids' efforts, and tempers do flare, the moms overall handle themselves more gracefully and maturely across from Dianna Williams (aka Miss D), the formidable coach of the Dancing Dolls.

I grant her +10 reality show points for explicitly referencing "haters", but Selena is actually showing the correct parental instincts in not wanting her own personal conflicts to supersede her child's relationship with her dance coach. That's a far cry from the Dance Mom who left Season One in a fit of rage to head up a whole separate dance studio, the better to directly confront Abby Lee Miller on a continual, existential level. But wow, how much hateful drama was driven by the ensuing rivalry with the "Candy Apple's Dance Centre"!

Abby Lee Miller as a director is way more ridiculous and unlikable than Miss D. How many times did we watch Abby Lee collapse in a corner of her studio in her Delta Burke casual wear to screech at several 8-year-old girls that they needed to smile? The comedy is hard to miss.

Miss D, a genuine athlete, walks among the hundreds of Dancing Dolls hopefuls in the premiere, physically leading them through complex choreography while holding a warehouse of pre-teens (and younger kids) in silent attention with the force of her personality.

Bring It! Makes Dance Moms Look Like Some Petty Shit

All you can think watching her is "Holy shit, that is one exhausting job." Miss D is more respected by her kids, their moms, and ultimately the audience than Abby Lee Miller.

Connoisseurs of reality TV (myself included) have grown a taste for the awkwardness, pain and "bitch mom" stereotypes we've seen in Toddlers & Tiaras, Real Housewives, Dance Moms et al. But hell, maybe pure showmanship will prevail over our (my) worse instincts in this case. These girls, as I've mentioned, can really fucking dance.

Should Bring It! manufacture more drama and villainy or would that ruin the show (and the fun the girls are having)? Is it better for these girl's dreams of ultimate stardom to be dancing circuit stars or reality TV stars? Are we as reality TV viewers looking for shows that reflect both the good and the bad behind competitive youth dance, or are we all watching NASCAR just hoping for crashes?

[ Video, image via Lifetime]

Morning After is a new home for television discussion online, brought to you by Gawker. Follow @GawkerMA and read more about it here.

Ricky Gervais Says He Discovered Louis C.K., and You're Welcome

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Around the time Louis C.K.'s Louie was picked up by FX in 2009, C.K. appeared in Ricky Gervais's The Invention of Lying. And now that they're both up for the Emmy for Lead Actor in a Comedy, Gervais says C.K.'s career never would have happened without that little boost.

"I discovered that big, sweaty slob. I've done everything for him, haven't I?" Gervais told Seth Meyers, "I had to see his freckly ass and everything, and he's never thanked me. And now he's trying to take my award."

The freckly ass scenario happened in season one of Louie, where Gervais played Louie's asshole doctor. (Not a proctologist, just an asshole.)

"I had to give him a rectal exam! And we're method, so..." Gervais joked.

Unfortunately, the Emmy probably isn't theirs to fight over. The Academy has proven it's not ashamed to bestow awards upon The Big Bang Theory, and 2013 winner Jim Parsons is nominated again this year.

[H/T THR]

Cops Seek Tips in Nude Beach Blow Job Jet Ski Slay

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Cops Seek Tips in Nude Beach Blow Job Jet Ski Slay

This morning, we received a voice mail from Detective Carol Perry-Green of the Manatee County Sheriff's Office.

The office, she said, had seen our post about the nude beach blow job jet ski fight heard 'round the world, and was wondering whether we'd received any information from readers about the events that may have led to Pamela Doster's death. We hadn't.

(A quick recap: Doster was reportedly killed earlier this month after catching her husband performing oral sex on another man on a boat near Passage Key, a Florida nude beach. In the fight that ensued, Michael Doster allegedly threw his wife off of a jet ski several times, and she died in the hospital several days later.)

Detective Green later told me that the Sheriff's office doesn't have anything in the way of leads, and that Michael Doster is still being considered as a suspect. "We don't have anything to say, 'Yes he is [the killer],'" she said, but "we don't have anything to exclude him either."

So, readers: do you know anything? Did you see the jet ski toss go down? Were you on the receiving end of Michael Doster's blow job? How was it? Do you feel a little guilty about it now? Contact Gawker here and the Manatee County Sheriff's Office here.

[Image via Manatee County Sheriff]

How Would Christianity Deal with Extraterrestrial Life?

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How Would Christianity Deal with Extraterrestrial Life?

How would the world's religions react to the discovery of extraterrestrial intelligence? There is, of course, no single answer. But for Christians who believe in the redemption of humanity through a singular event—the Incarnation of God through Christ—the question poses an especially complex dilemma.

To appreciate the conundrum, a good place to start is with the words of Father Jose Funes, a Jesuit astronomer and current director of the Vatican Observatory, who suggested in an interview that the possibility of "brother extraterrestrials" poses no problem for Catholic theology. "As a multiplicity of creatures exists on Earth, so there could be other beings, also intelligent, created by God," Funes told the Vatican newspaper L'Osservatore Romano. "This does not conflict with our faith because we cannot put limits on the creative freedom of God."

But, L'Osservatore Romano asked, what if these beings were sinners?

"Jesus became man once and for all," Funes responded. "The Incarnation is a single and unique event. So I am sure that also they, in some way, would have the chance to enjoy God's mercy, just as it has happened with us human beings."

Has Christ Been to Other Planets?

It's that phrase — "in some way" — that is the source of contention among Christian theologians. In what way? Has Christ appeared to other beings? Have there been other Incarnations, where the Son of God has taken on different forms and has had to endure, time and again, the self-sacrifice of death to remove the burden of Original Sin from God's creations?

It's a question that has troubled thinkers who, for centuries, have contemplated, in varying degrees, whether there other beings living on a "plurality of worlds." When Thomas Paine studied the astronomical research of the preceding three centuries, he concluded, in the Age of Reason, that the existence of other planets revolving around other suns supported theism, but drastically altered the Christian concept of God:

From, whence, then, could arise the solitary and strange conceit that the Almighty, who had millions of worlds equally dependent on his protection, should quit the care of all the rest and come to die in our world because, they say, one man and one woman had eaten an apple! And, on the other hand, are we to suppose that every world in the boundless creation had an Eve, an apple, a serpent, and a redeemer? In this case the person who is irreverently called the Son of God, and sometimes God himself, would have nothing else to do than to travel from world to world, in an endless succession of deaths, with scarcely a momentary interval of life.

And, as always, we can count of the wisdom of the great sage, Stephen Colbert, to get right to the heart of the matter: "If we accept that there is alien life on other planets, doesn't that totally blow Jesus out of the water? Because he was born of the Virgin Mary and became Man, he did not become creature. Aren't we double-booking our saviors here?"

Does God Only Care About Humans?

How Would Christianity Deal with Extraterrestrial Life?

Underlying this theological debate is the question of whether Christianity, among other faiths, is the least resilient to the concept of extraterrestrial intelligence. Robert Lawrence Kuhn, who writes about the relationship between science and religion, argues:

Judaism and Islam do not have the problem of the Incarnation, but they do subscribe, at least traditionally, to the very special place of human beings on this particular planet, and thus might be disturbed or at least disoriented by the discovery of ETs. Many Eastern religions, by not claiming a personal God, would not be so troubled.

Paul Davies, a theoretical physicist and cosmologist from Arizona State University, has expressed the view that the potential challenge to Christianity "is being downplayed" by religious leaders:

The real threat would come from the discovery of extraterrestrial intelligence, because if there are beings elsewhere in the universe, then Christians, they're in this horrible bind. They believe that God became incarnate in the form of Jesus Christ in order to save humankind, not dolphins or chimpanzees or little green men on other planets.

Likewise, Gary Bates, the head of the Atlanta-based Creation Ministries International, has said, "My theological perspective is that E.T. life would actually make a mockery of the very reason Christ came to die for our sins, for our redemption." The entire focus of creation, Bates argues, "is mankind on this Earth," and he believes the existence of intelligent, self-aware extraterrestrial life would undermine that view."It is a huge problem that many Christians have not really thought about."

The Possibility of Exotheology

But, many Christians have thought about it and have rejected the idea that alien intelligence is irreconcilable with their beliefs. "What is misleading here is the assumption that the Christian religion is fragile, that it is so fixed upon its orientation to human beings centered on Earth than an experience with extraterrestrial beings would shatter it," wrote theologian Ted Peters in the 1990s. "To the contrary, I find that when the issue of beings on other worlds has been raised it has been greeted positively…. I advocate exotheology—that is, speculation on the theological significance of extraterrestrial life."

Kuhn, having heard multiple views, says there are only six possibilities for Christian salvation in the context of sentient life beyond Earth:

  1. Jesus' death and resurrection on Earth covers all beings on all worlds and at all times.
  2. Jesus goes through a similar process of life, death, and resurrection on innumerable planets to save innumerable beings and creatures.
  3. Human beings, as galactic missionaries, will ultimately colonize the universe and spread the Word of God to heathen ETs.
  4. There are other mechanisms to attain salvation on other planets.
  5. Salvation is not offered to other beings and creatures on other planets.
  6. There are no other sentient beings on other planets anywhere; humans are utterly unique.

Among these six options, theologians who believe in the possible existence of extraterrestrial intelligence find #5 the least likely (and the most offensive). Assuming other beings are self-aware and capable of free will, the very idea of denying them salvation is at odds with the concept of a God who deeply loves his creations. Thomas O'Meara, a theologian at the University of Notre Dame, writes in his book, Vast Universe:

Could there not be other incarnations? Perhaps many of them, and at the same time? While the Word and Jesus are one, the life of a Jewish prophet on Earth hardly curtails the divine Word's life. The Word loves the intelligent natures it has created, although to us they might seem strange and somewhat repellant. Incarnation is an intense way to reveal, to communicate with an intelligent animal. It is also a dramatic mode of showing love for and identification with that race. In each incarnation, the divine being communicates something from its divine life....Incarnation in a human being speaks to our race. While the possibility of extraterrestrials in the galaxies leads to possible incarnations and alternate salvation histories, incarnations would correspond to the forms of intelligent creatures with their own religious quests. Jesus of Nazareth, however, is a human being and does not move to other planets.

O'Meara, in fact, raises the possibility of a seventh option to consider, which is not on Kuhn's list. What if Earth and humanity merited God's unique intervention because we are the only species in the universe who actually needed redemption? There can be other worlds with other creatures—but they are not necessarily implicated in our world of sins, they would not need a savior.

"No reason compels us to extend to other worlds our own sinfulness and to think of them as caught up in evil," wrote the theologian Joseph Pohle a century ago. Pohle wondered whether the incarnation occurred on Earth precisely because our world is weak, small, and not particularly significant. That event gave "little Earth" significance in a grander and wider cosmos. There might be greater and more impressive planets and planetary systems that need no Incarnation.

"In the hundred thousand millions of worlds dispersed over the regions of space, everything goes on by degrees," Voltaire once wrote. "Our little terraqueous globe here is the madhouse of those hundred thousand millions of worlds."


A DC taxi driver has reached a $5,500 settlement with the city after he was not allowed to speak at

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The All-American Expo That Invaded Cold War Russia

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The All-American Expo That Invaded Cold War Russia

Over the course of six weeks during the height of the Cold War, almost three million Soviets visited an exhibition that celebrated America. American kitchens, American art, American cars, and most especially American capitalism. The American National Exhibition in Moscow was a full-court press to convince the Soviet people of American superiority.

It was supposed to be a showcase for how Americans of the 1950s were living and prospering. But like nearly everything American during this time, it was really about selling the future.

The All-American Expo That Invaded Cold War Russia

Soviet visitors stream into the American National Exhibition in Moscow in July 1959

The short version: The United States hosted an exhibition in Moscow during the summer of 1959 that was supposed to showcase the best of the American free enterprise system. The Americans showed off a lot of consumer goods because—unlike heavy industry and space exploration—products like dishwashers and soda pop were areas where the U.S. was way ahead of Communist Russia. Largely unimpressed, Soviet leaders claimed that it was merely a bunch of gadgets. And in some ways they were right. But, oh how glamorous those gadgets were. Even if they weren't actually in American homes yet.

Americans caught a glimpse of the Moscow exhibit through flashy pictorials in the pages of popular magazines like Look. But there's one thing noticeably absent from the magazines: the most futuristic appliances on display, like what we might today call the Roomba of 1959, pictured below.

The All-American Expo That Invaded Cold War Russia

Unpublished photo of a robot floor cleaner originally intended for Look magazine (1959)

Was this an effort to manage expectations at home (as American home builders did after WWII) while showing off a glitzy robot-filled future abroad? Possibly. Would Americans mind? Probably not. They were getting plenty of futuristic gadget-filled promises elsewhere. They just obviously couldn't be sold as the present reality like they were to the Soviets, who were largely ignorant of how the average American lived.

Planning the Exhibition

The All-American Expo That Invaded Cold War Russia

Illustration of plans for the American National Exhibition in Sokolniki Park, Moscow

The American National Exhibition was ostensibly a cultural exchange program. The two countries publicly decided that the best way ease tensions (of which there were many) was to put on different exhibitions showing how each lived. The Soviets would bring an exhibition to New York in June of 1959, and the Americans would put on an exhibition in Moscow in July of the same year. This being the Cold War, each side also saw this as an opportunity to send plenty of spies to gather whatever intelligence they could.

The Soviets came to New York with their machines of industry and Space Age satellites, proudly displaying the tech that had beat America into space. The Americans went to Moscow with their shiniest cars, art, and appliances—many real, and some very much a magic trick.

What were the real reasons for this diplomacy, outside of the fuzzy feel-goody buzzphrase of "cultural exchange?" The Soviets wanted liberalized trade with the West. And the Americans wanted an ideological foot in the door to convince the Soviets that Communism was a failure. Neither got everything they wanted. But at least folks got some Pepsi along the way. Oh, and probably a fair amount of intelligence from spies.

The All-American Expo That Invaded Cold War Russia

Interior of the American National Exhibition in Moscow (1959)

About 450 companies made contributions to the Moscow exhibition. Sears, IBM, General Mills, Kodak, Whirlpool, Macy's, Pepsi, General Motors, RCA, and Dixie Cup all had a presence, despite the fact that none of their products could be purchased in the Soviet Union.

In asking for their help with the exhibition, the American government appealed to the companies' sense of patriotism, but of course, also their pocketbooks—at least in the long term sense. The U.S. government knew that these companies wouldn't see any immediate return on their investment, but it certainly paid off eventually for some of them. For instance, just 15 years later Pepsi would become one of the rare outside companies allowed to sell soda in the Soviet Union.

Racists and Redbaiters Object

The All-American Expo That Invaded Cold War Russia

Strom Thurmond after his record-breaking 24-hour filibuster of a civil rights bill in 1957

The American Exhibition in Moscow opened 55 years ago today—July 24, 1959—but it was almost completely derailed before it even began.

Unsurprisingly to anyone familiar with American political conflicts of the 1950s, the Moscow exhibit was not without controversy on Capitol Hill. Everything from how race relations were depicted to the kind of American art that was planned to be on display became a point of controversy for conservative politicians.

Four of the 75 American guides headed for Moscow were African American. President Eisenhower was apparently concerned about how the black guides might represent the United States and its systemic violations of civil rights in 1959. So when Eisenhower invited all 75 of the guides to the White House for a meet-and-greet on June 15th, according to historian Walter L. Hixson, the President quizzed the black guides about how they came to be fluent in Russian.

According to Hixson's book Parting The Curtain: Propaganda, Culture, and the Cold War, 1945-1961, Eisenhower was "satisfied" by their responses, and safely assumed they weren't going to criticize America and its atrocious treatment of black people in the 1950s. America's subjugation of blacks was the one big thing that the Soviets could and would continually point to whenever questions of personal freedom in the USSR were raised.

"And you are lynching Negroes," (А у вас негров линчуют, A u vas negrov linchuyut) was a popular trope that permeated Soviet/U.S. relations. Sadly, they weren't wrong. But it was obviously a deflection from their own human rights abuses.

As if on cue in the lead-up to the Exhibition, segregationist politicians in the U.S. protested when they learned that white people and black people would be depicted in normal social situations together. South Carolina Senator Strom Thurmond (a man who after his death would be revealed to have fathered a child with his family's 16-year-old black maid) was outraged by a fashion show planned for the exhibition. The show was going to depict a black couple getting fake-married in front of a crowd of white attendees of a fake-wedding ceremony. Thurmond's protestations caused that portion of the fashion show to be cut.

The All-American Expo That Invaded Cold War Russia

The latest American fashions are showed off in Moscow during the Exhibition (1959)

Then there was the problem of what kind of American art would be on display for the Soviets. Despite hearings in front of the House Un-American Activities Committee and demands from influential American conservatives that certain art—including works by Jackson Pollock, Willem De Kooning, and Jack Levinebe removed from the planned display, even the most controversial art remained.

But it wasn't exactly a victory for modern art. The supposed compromise was to make the art exhibit even bigger, so that the modern art which conservatives found so objectionable would only comprise a significantly smaller portion of the exhibit's total works.

Of course, the great irony of all this was that Soviet officials also saw modern art as dangerous, only theirs was from a decidedly communist perspective. They felt modern art reflected a bourgeois culture, and Nikita Khrushchev railed against Soviet artists who deviated from representational art in the late 1950s. Modern art's abstract nature was to be feared and suppressed, as far as Khrushchev was concerned. At least the Americans and the Soviets had that in common: their leaders thought modern art was a great threat to their own ideologies.

With the benefit of hindsight, it's somewhat amusing that so many objections were made by American conservatives of the art exhibits. As it's now known, the CIA was at the same time using modern art as a cultural weapon to fight communism. Paintings, photography and sculpture that challenged the status quo in various abstract forms was promoted with what was called a "long leash." American individualism and self-expression shined through, even if it made so many older people uncomfortable.

American Ambassadors: Students and Spies

The All-American Expo That Invaded Cold War Russia

An American guide answers questions at the Family of Man exhibit (1959)

Even more so than art and fashion, it was the on-the-ground guides that would act as America's face at the exhibition, goodwill ambassadors who earnestly answered questions and actively engaged in humble debate with the Russian attendees.

Seventy-five Americans would go to Moscow to act as guides and ambassadors at the Moscow exhibition. The group included 27 women and 48 men, all of whom were between the ages of 20 and 35. America was being sold as a young country, because it was one. All guides were fluent in Russian and some were (almost certainly) trained in intelligence gathering.

Dan Slobin, a retired professor from UC-Berkeley, digitized his journal from when he worked at the exhibition. He was just 20 years old at the time, one of the youngest guides in the bunch, and his journal (complete with photographs) provides a fascinating look into what it was like working there. I spoke with Slobin over the phone this past fall.

The All-American Expo That Invaded Cold War Russia

Left: Dan Slobin on July 24, 1959; Right: President Eisenhower with student ambassadors

As Slobin tells it, he worked six days a week; three days from 11am until 10pm, and three days from 2-10pm. One of the things that seemed to shock Soviet visitors the most was that there wasn't a discernibly consistent party line being spouted from exhibit to exhibit.

If a visitor asked an American guide at the car exhibit a politically loaded question they could receive a completely different answer at the book exhibit. According to Slobin he could proudly respond that he had no idea what the other guides were telling Soviet visitors to the Exhibition. It was his own opinion that he was giving, and not some official government statement.

"That was the best propaganda that the USIA [United States Information Agency] could devise, because then people would say, 'but you're not answering the same question as that guide over there,'" Slobin told me.

But it's not like they weren't coached in some capacity. On the long ship voyage from Montreal to Russia, guides were put through different sessions, anticipating how their Soviet audience might respond. One by one they would be put on the spot in front of their peers and asked difficult questions, like why America has racism or why America has economic inequality. The guides were allowed their own responses, but there was no question where their loyalties were, and each guide was clearly chosen for their diplomatic nature.

Slobin said that once he got on the boat it became clear that only about half of the American guides traveling to Moscow were students like himself. "The other half were from the RAND Corporation or CIA or various government agencies who were planted in there as if they were other student guides," Slobin told me.

Of course, the Soviets were keeping a close eye on the student ambassadors as well. "We were all tailed by the Soviets all the time. We learned how to recognize that after a while. And you never knew if somebody who befriended you was honest or was trying to entrap you."

"It was a totally different era," Slobin explained. "It was like the first American adventure behind what we called the Iron Curtain. It wasn't all darkness and despair there and that was big news in the United States."

Some elements of Soviet society were surprisingly pleasant, according to Slobin. In his view they had a lot of social and educational issues worked out, and were ahead of the Americans in some ways. Slobin was surprised to find that many people seemed genuinely happy with their lives, even if they struggled or felt oppressed sometimes. They had hope for the future, and faith that their government would deliver on its promises.

"And then when I got back [to the United States] there were heavy interviews by the FBI," Slobin said. "We had a few days of debriefing when we landed before they let us go home."

This, of course, was natural and expected given the spy tactics of each superpower during the Cold War. Approaching visitors to spy on their own countries was not unusual for either side, so it only made sense that the FBI would want to know things like if he'd been in contact with any Soviets since returning. Slobin told me he hasn't yet requested his own FBI file to see what it contained, but that he'd like to one day.

"Is This Typical?"

The All-American Expo That Invaded Cold War Russia

Soviet onlookers check out the latest in American automobiles (1959)

The April 10, 1959 issue of Pravda magazine didn't mince words when it ran the headline "Is This Typical?" This was only the start of the Soviet propaganda offensive against what was seen as manipulation by the U.S. exhibit to depict a lifestyle far outside the means of the average American. The show hadn't even started yet, but the magazine raised a valid point that would be repeated throughout the six weeks of the exhibit. The Americans were in many ways showing off the two things it sold best: consumer goods, and the future.

According to the Associated Press, the TASS news agency took many issues with the "typical" American homes on display at the exhibition. Special attention was paid of the $13,000 American house (about $100k adjusted for inflation) which was being planned and furnished by Macy's for an additional $5,000 (about $39k adjusted for inflation).

TASS explained, "Many wives of American workers will be surprised indeed to learn that their 'typical' kitchen is fully equipped with the most marvelous latest automatic devices." TASS contended that even if the average worker had $5,000 to spend at Macy's, "he could hardly succeed even for this sum in buying such furniture as is shown by the firm of Macy with the air or propaganda."

"Actually," TASS wrote, "there is no more truth in showing this as the typical home of the American worker than, say, in showing the Taj Mahal as the typical home of a Bombay textile worker, or Buckingham Palace as the typical home of an English miner."

While the furnishings on display may have been a bit extravagant, American home ownership was indeed soaring. In 1960, median household income for American families was $5,620, meaning that a $13,000 house was well within the middle class's reach when they took out a mortgage.

The Soviets may have been correct when they asserted that much of the furniture on display was not within reach of most Americans. But that average house, believe it or not, was actually the norm. Behind the scenes, this fact terrified Soviet officials.

Battle Over Books and Brownies

The All-American Expo That Invaded Cold War Russia

American literature display at the American National Exhibition in Moscow (1959)

What was ignored in the Soviet press was the incredible amount of censorship that occurred across all forms of media in the Soviet Union. The American book display was a particularly sensitive point of negotiation in the lead up to the Exhibition. There were vicious fights over what books were allowed, nearly derailing the mutual cultural exchange in its early days.

Books were a powerful weapon during the Cold War. We know now that the CIA was actively printing and distributing copies of the novel Doctor Zhivago throughout the Soviet Union in the late 1950s and 60s. The book was officially banned by the Soviets, though there's no indication that it was openly on display at the Exhibition.

"This book has great propaganda value," a CIA memo from 1958 said, "not only for its intrinsic message and thought-provoking nature, but also for the circumstances of its publication: we have the opportunity to make Soviet citizens wonder what is wrong with their government, when a fine literary work by the man acknowledged to be the greatest living Russian writer is not even available in his own country in his own language for his own people to read."

The All-American Expo That Invaded Cold War Russia

Marylee Duehring of General Mills in the Betty Crocker Kitchen (1959)

Books would often go missing from the displays, just as the food baked in the kitchens (officially off-limits for sampling by order of Soviet officials) would mysteriously disappear. But the Americans didn't worry too much about the stolen books; they'd brought plenty to replace them with.

The same went for the food. As General Mills notes on its blog, the company shipped seven tons of food to Moscow for the exhibition. A missing plate of brownies here and there was seen by the Americans as a welcome introduction into the world of easy-bake products. To get around the ban on handing out samples, the demo women learned that they could simply turn their back on finished desserts and the crowd would descend on them quickly.

IBM's Answer Computer

The All-American Expo That Invaded Cold War Russia

IBM's RAMAC 305 computer in a business setting in an undated photo

One of the more popular exhibits around was the IBM RAMAC 305 computer. It could answer over 4,000 questions within a wide range of topics—some of them quite uncomfortable for Americans to address.

Not only were common questions like "What is the price of American cigarettes?" and "What is jazz music?" answered with a printout in just 90 seconds, thornier questions about race relations and lynching were also pre-programmed to give diplomatic responses.

"How many Negroes have been lynched in the U.S. since 1950?" was one of the difficult questions that the computer was often asked. With an answer coming from a machine, it's unclear if the Soviets would've trusted the response more or less than a human. Perhaps we intrinsically trust machines to be less biased and shed any emotional baggage when answering tough questions. Or perhaps that's just an anachronism that 21st century Americans so tuned into the internet may concoct as we use Google and Wikipedia like intellectual crutches.

As James Schwoch describes in his book Global TV: New Media and the Cold War, 1946-69, this wasn't the first time that IBM's RAMAC had interacted with the public—that would be at the World's Fair in Brussels the previous year—but it was a milestone for what's now called "information diplomacy."

Glimpses of the U.S.A.

The All-American Expo That Invaded Cold War Russia

The multi-screen film Glimpses of the USA being shown to Soviet visitors in 1959

Soviet visitors wanted to see what real America looked like. And the Eames design team, in some capacity, delivered.

Glimpses of the U.S.A. was a film by Charles and Ray Eames that depicted life in America as told through still images projected onto seven giant 20 by 30 foot screens. It was shown in a theater designed by Buckminster Fuller, and above we see the "highway interchange" portion of the film—or, if not film, multimedia experience?

As much art as instructional commentary on what life was like in the U.S., the film is composed of about 2,200 images and runs for 12 minutes. Viewers are inundated with images carefully curated by the Eames design team, some photos shot by Charles and Ray themselves.

You can watch a short excerpt from the film on YouTube.

It should probably be noted that I submitted FOIA requests to the FBI for any files on both Charles and Ray Eames, yet have been informed that they don't have any. I find this incredibly hard to believe, given their involvement with the Exhibition and their influence on the world of design in general, but will update this story if my FOIA appeals are granted.

The Kitchen Debate

The All-American Expo That Invaded Cold War Russia

Khrushchev and Nixon discussing the common American household via translator (1959)

Arguably one of the most seminal non-combat moments of the Cold War happened at the Exhibition on opening day. Today, it's known as the Kitchen Debate, and it was broadcast the following day on all three major American networks, as well as on Soviet TV. But the debate that aired, videotaped in color (very high-tech for the time!) was of course just one part of many debates waged between Nixon and Khrushchev as they toured the Exhibition together.

The two men sparred over everything on display, with Nixon insisting that American capitalism allowed for a much higher standard of living. Khrushchev oscillated between insisting that the average American couldn't afford the things that Nixon was showing him and then saying that even if they could, the Soviet people would have those same consumer goods soon.

That was Khrushchev's promise to the Soviet people, proclaimed for all the world to see. The Soviet Union would not only meet, but exceed the consumer-driven wealth of postwar America, he insisted. Interestingly, it was the Soviet Union's youth as a country that Khrushchev saw as its greatest strength in making that happen.

"America has been in existence for 150 years, and this is the level she has reached. We have existed not quite 42 years and in another seven years we will be on the same level as America. When we catch you up, we will wave to you as we pass you by."

Nixon ever so diplomatically disagreed.

The All-American Expo That Invaded Cold War Russia

Vice President Nixon and Premier Khrushchev debating in front of color TV cameras

According to the FBI file on Khrushchev, President Eisenhower wasn't that enthusiastic about engaging with the bombastic Soviet leader. As we can see from an excerpt of the July 20, 1959 FBI memo below (just four days before the Exhibition was to open), Nixon was very much pro-engagement, and wanted to extend an invitation for Khrushchev to come to the United States. Eisenhower, on the other hand, was "dead opposed."

The All-American Expo That Invaded Cold War Russia

Nixon seemed to earnestly believe that as long as people were presented with capitalism and communism openly and honestly, American-style capitalism would win out.

But Nixon's trip to Moscow was as much about running for President as it was for cultural exchange. The August 10, 1959 issue of Life magazine devoted nearly as many pages of photos to he and his wife's trip as they did to the Russian response to the Exhibition. Nixon, the fervent anti-communist, was no doubt campaigning with every step and calculating with every seemingly good-natured laugh at Khrushchev's boisterous antagonism.

The 1959 Roomba That Never Was

The All-American Expo That Invaded Cold War Russia

A demonstrator sits in the Miracle Kitchen (July 21, 1959 issue of Look magazine)

Today the autonomous robot vacuum cleaner is passé. Or at the very least, no longer representative of something terribly futuristic. iRobot, the Boston-based company that makes the Roomba, has been churning those things out for over a decade. But in 1959, there was nothing more techno-utopian. The Exhibition had one, thanks to RCA/Whirlpool and a little bit of trickery.

The Exhibition had four demonstration kitchens, but the RCA/Whirlpool Miracle Kitchen was by far the most futuristic. It promised super-fast meal preparation, push-button everything, and automatic robot cleaners. There were even large TV monitors for monitoring different parts of the home, which reportedly impressed Khrushchev. But not everything worked exactly as the exhibitors claimed.

"They had a two-way mirror with a person sitting behind it that could see the room," Joe Maxwell told me over the phone in his light southern drawl. "And they radio-controlled the vacuum cleaner and the dishwasher."

Now in his 80s, Maxwell talked to me about his work at one of America's most influential design firms in the 1950s, Sundberg-Ferar. Maxwell was in his mid-20s when he moved from Auburn, Alabama to Detroit, and loved working for the firm that had its focus on the future. I called up Maxwell to learn about his work on Whirlpool's Miracle Kitchen, which amazed Soviet visitors. It was indeed a miracle, in the sense that what people saw was rightly hard to believe.

Here in the United States, the Miracle Kitchen was sold as just around the corner. But in Moscow, it was presented as the American kitchen of today.

From the promotional film, which was adapted for live demos in Moscow:

In this kitchen you can bake a cake in three minutes. And in this kitchen the dishes are scraped, washed and dried electronically. They even put themselves away. Even the floor is cleaned electronically.

"We didn't try to predict things. We were trying to show off things that we knew were coming," Maxwell told me.

As he spoke I couldn't help but imagine what he and the city must've looked like when he arrived in Detroit in the mid 1950s. Detroit was a destination city then. People came from all over the United States and the world to work as Detroit grew fat and happy, churning out car after car. Culturally, the city was a billion miles away from the Soviet Union. Today, one can't help but think that Detroit has more in common with the rougher parts of Moscow than we'd care to admit. Each, a crumbling monument to the harshest elements of 20th century extremist ideology.

"The technology for a lot of that stuff was on the verge of being there, but not all of it was there," Maxwell continued. "And Whirlpool was interested in getting some stuff out, like getting ready to issue refrigerators that were frost-free."

What's the height of refrigerator advancement in the late 1950s? Frost-free design.

The All-American Expo That Invaded Cold War Russia

A demonstrator demos the Miracle Kitchen (July 21, 1959 issue of Look magazine)

I asked Maxwell about the robot again, curious about how it worked compared with how it was depicted in films and at the American National Exhibition in Moscow.

"They said it was sniffing a wire in the floor, which it could have been," Maxwell told me. "But it was easier just to have a person behind this mirror that could make all the things happen—from opening the doors and lowering the shelves and all of those different things. It was easier to do that than to put in all of those sensors all over the place, and do what the push-button said to do. It was simpler just to have a person operating that stuff remotely. That was for expediency more than it was for lack of technology."

Maxwell paused to correct himself a bit. "But there was a lack of technology. We did not have anything near what we have today. We had computers, but they were big boxes."

Pepsi and that American Flavor

The All-American Expo That Invaded Cold War Russia

Young Soviet visitor to the American National Exhibition sampling Pepsi-Cola

Coca-Cola declined to participate in the Exhibition, but Pepsi dove in with both feet. The most common question from Soviet men about Pepsi seemed to be whether it contained alcohol. Many were disappointed when they were informed that it did not. But Nixon and Khrushchev posed for a photo together, each drinking Pepsi, in a photo that was distributed around the world.

The All-American Expo That Invaded Cold War Russia

A group of men drinking Pepsi at the American National Exhibition (1959)

This no doubt greased the wheels for Pepsi's entrance into the Soviet Union in 1972, after Nixon's re-election. Detente was succeeding in the early 1970s and there was a kind of swap: Pepsi would be introduced to the Soviet Union if Russian vodka could enter the American market.

According to academic Ludmilla Grincenko Wells at the University of Tennessee, the two countries signed a 10-year countertrade agreement, allowing Stolichnaya vodka in the U.S. and Pepsi into the USSR. It's fair to say we got the better end of the deal.

Mere Gadgets

The All-American Expo That Invaded Cold War Russia

High-tech heart-lung machine on display for Soviet visitors (1959)

The Soviet reaction to the six-week exhibition was filled with contradictions. Some people were impressed (however stoically), while others dismissed the entire show as frivolous. What mattered, according to many of them, were the machines of industry that would catapult the Soviet Union into the future, not "mere gadgets."

In her 2008 paper on the Soviet public's response to the exhibit, Susan E. Reid, a professor of Russian studies in the UK, examined the varied takes, trying to delicately parse honest opinions from available documents. The visitors' books were perhaps most useful in this exercise, giving a peek at what the average attendee might be thinking—even if Soviet agents may be looking over their shoulders.

Some of the responses in the visitors' books betrayed the conflicting ideas behind present and future communism. As much as the Americans may have been "cheating" with some of their futuristic displays, the Soviets were just as confused in their own responses to American superiority in some areas.

For example, one teacher wrote, "The exhibition displays kitchens, a house, frigidaires, vacuum cleaners—all of which we have. If we don't have enough of these things at present we will have more of them in the near future."

Another commenter wrote, "The Miracle kitchen is very interesting but improbable."

"A shortcoming you show what you produce, but you do not show what you produce it with," wrote another. This was a common complaint.

The All-American Expo That Invaded Cold War Russia

Soviet onlookers take in the American fashion show (1959)

When it came to fashion and music, Soviet visitors were intrigued, but when it came to attractiveness, many Soviet men were frankly not impressed by the American women who were modeling their clothes.

"There were fashion models and they felt sorry for them, and they would come up to me and say, 'they're all so skinny, why do you starve your women like that?'" Slobin the former American guide in Moscow told me over the phone.

The All-American Expo That Invaded Cold War Russia

Curious Soviets check out the latest in American cars (1959)

So what were the Soviets most impressed with? Apparently the cars. "I want to buy your cars!" one commenter wrote. This was seen as perhaps a natural reaction since the engineering behind Soviet-built automobiles was often the butt of jokes, even inside the USSR. Russians couldn't help but be impressed with Detroit's latest models and everyone wanted a peek under the hood.

Americans who combed through the pages of those visitors' books (the Soviet exhibition in New York also had visitors' books, with similarly negative feedback sometimes) were no doubt delighted to hear that General Motors was considered a point of envy.

The Competing Soviet Exhibition Next Door

The All-American Expo That Invaded Cold War Russia

Russians examine the TV sets on display at the competing USSR exhibit next door (1959)

The Soviet government had already done their best to show Americans what the country had to offer in New York a month prior, but they were nearly as eager to show their own people. They set up a competing exhibition next door in the summer of 1959, but it likely did more harm than good. The products on display were far less flashy, and sometimes simply served as a reminder of what consumer goods the common Russian didn't have access to in the late 1950s. The severe housing shortage in the Soviet Union caused many to wonder when they might have their own apartment — for many Russians, their own TV set was a futuristic fantasy.

"That the Soviet people now may know more about the U.S. than they did prior to the Exhibition puts a greater strain on the regime to make its propaganda more credible," one social scientist for RAND who worked as an ambassador wrote in a 1960 report.

If the Americans could fudge their way through a meticulously planned trade show, presenting new products that the average citizen hadn't been exposed to thanks to censorship of Western media, then there was no way for the Soviets to hide what was missing from their own lives. Just another few years, they were told by their government, not unlike the American government had done during times of particular duress. Just another few years. Be patient, and the techno-utopian world of tomorrow will be here.

But the mistrust between the two countries was too great for either to learn much from the other. The incredible amount of spying probably didn't help.

"It turns out that some of the former guides had been arrested in the Soviet Union as American agents," Slobin told me. "And one of them was a student [...] who, in fact, came back in an exchange of spies and confessed that he had been a spy sent back into the Soviet Union."

The U.S. and Soviet Union would never again have a similar cultural exchange on such a scale during the Cold War. But ideas had been planted. The future—whatever that meant to the average citizen—was coming, and it was filled with washing machines, robots, Pepsi, and the fervency of the Space Race.

The All-American Expo That Invaded Cold War Russia

Russians walk by the wares displayed at the competing USSR exhibit (1959)

But this leads us to the fundamental question that is perhaps at the heart of all studies of old futurism: "What time is the future?" And I don't write that to be glib or weird. I mean it quite literally. What time is the future? And for whom is the future built?

Most of us here in the early 21st century simply sit watching Cold War 2.0 slowly bubble up to the surface with every political tweet from each side, every pointed finger thrust into an opponent's chest by way of ones and zeroes zipping around the world. But for better and for worse, we are living in the future, if only from a chronological perspective with one year quickly fading into the next. We are in Khrushchev's future and Nixon's future, even if it's not the ones they planned for us.

When is the future? With the New Cold War™ in full swing, here's hoping we get our answer before things get as nasty as they once were. The two exhibitions in New York and Moscow served as only a brief moment of pause and cautious cultural exchange before things went south yet again. The Cuban Missile Crisis was just three years away.


Sources:

"Report on Service with the American Exhibition in Moscow" by John R. Thomas, Social Science Division The RAND Corporation (1960); As Seen on TV: The Visual Culture of Everyday Life in the 1950s by Karal Ann Marling (1996); Cold War Kitchen: Americanization, Technology, and European Users edited by Ruth Oldenzeil and Karen Zachmann (2009); "Exhibiting Art at the American National Exhibition in Moscow, 1959" by Marily S. Kushner (2002); Parting The Curtain: Propaganda, Culture, and the Cold War, 1945-1961 by Walter L. Hixson (1997); "Who Will Beat Whom? Soviet Reception of the American National Exhibition in Moscow, 1959" by Susan E. Reid (2008); "The Khrushchev Kitchen: Domesticating the Scientific-Technological Revolution" by Susan E Reid (2005); "Selling a New Vision of America to the World: Changing Messages in Early U.S. Cold War Print Propaganda" by Andrew L. Yarrow (2009); "Moscow ’59: The 'Sokolniki Summit' Revisited" by Andrew Wulf (2010); "Displaying American Abundance Abroad: The Misinterpretation of the 1959 American National Exhibition in Moscow" by Barrie Robyn Jakabovics (2007)

Images:

Entrance to the American Exhibition via PepsiCoDigital on Flickr; Map of the proposed exhibition grounds, scanned from the 1997 book Parting The Curtain by Walter L. Hixson; Robot vacuum cleaner can be found at Shorpy, though it's from the Library of Congress collection of Bob Lerner's photos taken at the exhibition; American guide talks to Russian visitors at the Family of Man exhibit via PepsiCoDigital on Flickr; The Whirlpool Miracle Kitchen, scanned from the July 21, 1959 issue of Look magazine; IBM's RAMAC 305 computer via the Associated Press; Nixon and Khrushchev examine an American kitchen display, scanned from the 2007 book Birth of the Cool: California Art, Design and Culture at Midcentury; Nixon and Khrushchev debate, via the Library of Congress; Young man drinking Pepsi, screenshot from the 1998 CNN documentary mini-series Cold War; Men drinking Pepsi, scanned from the 1997 book Parting The Curtain by Walter L. Hixson; Crowds viewing the art exhibit via Archives of American Art; Marylee Duehring, General Mills’ supervisor of product counselors in the Betty Crocker Kitchens does a demonstration via the General Mills blog; Temporary Russian exhibition from the Library of Congress

Fifty Shades' Real Problem: Jamie Dornan Is Hotter Than Christian Grey

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Fifty Shades' Real Problem: Jamie Dornan Is Hotter Than Christian Grey

The Fifty Shades of Grey trailer is upon us, and while it doesn't reveal much from the Red Room of Pain, it does come wih the startling discovery that Jamie Dornan's been stripped of his hair and turned into a sanitized, shaved, waxed version of himself.

Above, on the left: Jamie Dornan, as shot by Mert Alas and Marcus Piggott for Interview magazine. On the right: Jamie Dornan as Christian Grey, in the ripped jeans that may be true to the book but somehow seem dated and stoner/slobby.

But look at those images! Jamie Dornan's thick facial hair and sprinkling of chest hair? Hot. Christian Grey's clean-shaven mug and waxed chest? Downgrade. These are the cold, hard facts.

As has been discussed previously, beards and facial scuff are having a moment. Last year, beards were so prevalent that The Guardian asked, "Have We Reached Peak Beard?" December brought us Disney dudes with beards. In April of this year, it was the Telegraph asking if peak beard had been reached. "Beards contain multitudes," declared The Guardian in February. We've heard that dudes should have beards in their LinkedIn profiles, and that beardless men are getting facial-hair transplants. Who won the Eurovision Song Contest? A drag queen with a beard. Prince Harry left the UK to travel the frozen tundra — a show of virile strength — and promptly grew some dashing ginger bristles. Joe Manganiello was named People's Hottest Bachelor, and accepted the honor triumphantly flexed and bearded. Now is not a time to go robbing a hot man of his facial hair.

It's vexing that the Fifty Shades producers/director/studio execs haven't been keeping up with the news, or the latest research. Science proves that heavy stubble is sexiest. And all you have to do, really, is look at the hirsute Jamie Dornan to realize that it's very becoming for him.

Fifty Shades' Real Problem: Jamie Dornan Is Hotter Than Christian Grey

That's Dornan in 2009 on the left; Dornan as Christian Grey on the right. Psst, Hollywood: The one on the left is the one who looks like he is going to tie you up and smack your bottom with a riding crop and then shag you senseless.

Fifty Shades' Real Problem: Jamie Dornan Is Hotter Than Christian Grey

Dornan in Interview on the left; Dornan as Grey in Entertainment Weekly on the right. Dude on the left is the dissolute, louche reprobate who is going to demand you not wear underwear to dinner with his family and then trail his hand up your thigh and almost-finger-bang you under the table, leaving you breathless and begging for more.

The hair matters. Hair is primal, tactile, a reminder that we are animals. Beards beg to be stroked, beards are tuggable, beards tickle lips, brush necks, abrade thighs. Beards are sexy. Dark, dank, thick bristles are sexually charged, evocative of pubic hair, summoning visions of sweat and abandon. It's not that hairlessness cannot be hot — it can, and you should work with what you've got. But Dornan was needlessly stripped of his aura of potent virility. Someone made a grave error in portraying Christian Grey as virtually hairless.

In addition, Dornan has a lovely lilting Irish accent, and Christian Grey does not. There are probably one zillion other ways Jamie Dornan > Christian Grey (watching him talk about his "heavily pregnant wife" on the Today show was sincerely swoon-worthy) but we have plenty of time: This steaming mess doesn't drop until Valentine's Day. Start planning your booze menu and drinking games now.

Fifty Shades' Real Problem: Jamie Dornan Is Hotter Than Christian Grey

The Crazy Emails That Took Down NSA Spook John Schindler

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The Crazy Emails That Took Down NSA Spook John Schindler

Remember John Schindler, the conservative talking head, retired NSA spook, and Naval War College professor who briefly went incognito after screenshots of (what appear to be) his penis leaked onto the Internet? While he has since reappeared to Twitter—where he first drew attention for defending domestic spying and criticizing Edward Snowden—he has refused to comment on the mysterious emails, sent to the Naval War College by an unnamed blogger, that prompted the school to place him on leave, and his penis under official investigation.

The emails sent to NWC, which Gawker obtained under a Freedom of Information Act request, refer to Schindler’s habit of calling himself a “spy”; detail his correspondence with an unnamed woman (who apparently received his penis photo); and, in a lengthy missive, accuse Schindler of staging “cyber warfare” against his online enemies, using “thuggish tactics” to silence NSA critics, and violating various federal laws.

Each of the messages is heavily redacted, and the identities of their senders obscured, due to the ongoing investigation into Schindler’s conduct. But the last email is detailed (and nutty) enough to earn a closer reading, so we’ve embedded it below. You can read the rest here. Let us know if anything sticks out.

The Crazy Emails That Took Down NSA Spook John Schindler

The Crazy Emails That Took Down NSA Spook John Schindler

The Crazy Emails That Took Down NSA Spook John Schindler

Schindler did not return a request for comment. On Thursday, a spokesperson for the Naval War College confirmed that he remains on administrative leave.


To contact the author of this post, email trotter@gawker.com

FOIA request filed via MuckRock; Photo credit: MSNBC

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