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Tornadoes Are Possible Today Over Areas That Rarely See Tornadoes

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Tornadoes Are Possible Today Over Areas That Rarely See Tornadoes

A severe weather outbreak is ramping up over parts of the eastern United States this afternoon, with an area that doesn't typically see much severe weather bearing the brunt of today's action. The risk for EF-2 or stronger tornadoes is 1000 times higher than normal in some spots.

Tornadoes Are Possible Today Over Areas That Rarely See Tornadoes

The Storm Prediction Center has issued a 10% risk for tornadoes across parts of the southern Appalachians, including parts of southeastern Kentucky, northeastern Tennessee, southern West Virginia, and western Virginia. A 5% risk for tornadoes exists over a larger area, including larger cities such as Detroit, Cleveland, Pittsburgh, Washington, and Baltimore.

On the above map, I've overlain historical tornado tracks between 1950 and 2013 to illustrate how few tornadoes have occurred over the area under the highest risk today. The most recent tornado outbreak in the 10% area was back on March 2, 2012.

Tornadoes Are Possible Today Over Areas That Rarely See Tornadoes

To further illustrate how rare tornadoes are in this part of the country, especially this late in July, we can look at the area's severe weather climatology to figure out how much higher than normal is today's tornado risk. On any given July 27 between 1982 and 2011, significant tornadoes occurred within 25 miles of the highest risk area only 0.01% of the time. Since today's risk is 10%, it means that today's risk for significant (EF-2 or stronger) tornadoes is 1000 times higher than normal.

[We arrive at the "1000 times higher than normal" by dividing today's 10% risk by the area's 0.01% climatological risk for July 27.]

Later on the evening and into tonight, the severe weather threat will shift east to the heavily populated I-95 corridor from Virginia to Massachusetts. Storms that form between the mountains in the ocean will pack the potential for isolated tornadoes, damaging winds in excess of 60 MPH, and hail the size of quarters or larger.

The Storm Prediction Center is responsible for issuing severe weather forecasts as well as severe thunderstorm and tornado watches, while local National Weather Service offices are responsible for issuing severe thunderstorm and tornado warnings.

[Images: author / author / SPC || Tornado risk map updated at 430PM EDT to reflect the 400PM forecast update.]


Suspect In Philly Hospital Shooting Charged With Murder

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Suspect In Philly Hospital Shooting Charged With Murder

Richard Plotts, the 49-year-old suspect accused of killing his caseworker and injuring his psychiatrist at a Philadelphia-area hospital on Thursday, will be charged with murder, authorities say. Plotts reportedly had a long history with guns and mental illness.

The man allegedly killed his caseworker, Theresa Hunt, at Mercy Fitzgerald Hospital in Delaware County before exchanging gunfire with his psychiatrist Lee Silverman, who happened to be armed. Plotts was then wrestled to the ground and taken into custody at the hospital while he recovered from injuries.

According to the AP, an area police department said Plotts had had previous run-ins with authorities.

Via the AP:

Police in Upper Darby, where Plotts once lived, cited at least three mental health commitments, including one after he cut his wrists and one after he threatened suicide. His record also includes past assault, drug and gun charges, according to police and court records.

The Delco Times reported that Plotts had been banned from at least one facility for aggression before.

[Image via AP]

UK Town Residents Stay Up All Night to Watch Cooling Tower Demolition

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A set of cooling towers in the southeastern British town of Oxfordshire were destroyed early Sunday morning, and despite protests to move the demolition until later in the day so that everyone could enjoy it (perhaps a BBQ?), residents stood out at 5 a.m. anyway in their pajamas and with their camera phones in tow. Some had been there waiting all night.

The demolition video, taken by Oxfordshire resident Luke Allen, doesn't get truly exciting until around 1:35, but then you get a real insight as to what gets British people hot and bothered.

"Fookin' hell!" one man is heard yelling.

The Didcot power station had been a part of the Oxfordshire landscape since 1970, the Guardian reports. The coal fire towers ceased operation last year. Residents of Oxfordshire were sad to see the landmark go, due to the finite number of leisure activities Brits participate in—footie, gap years, and Pimm's.

Via the BBC:

Many people camped out all night or got up early to watch the towers come down online, while #DidcotDemolition quickly became a trending topic on Twitter.

Gilliam Miles said: "Up at 2am and watched it from Ladygrove with hundreds of others - emotional moment. Will miss them."

Tina Banham said: "They went down so quickly - we were watching a water vole whilst waiting in Appleford, heard the explosion and they seemed to be down in seconds. Could have missed it had explosion not been so loud."

Stuart Kerry added: "I saw them being built when I was young and now have seen them come down via the internet live here in the USA."

Hopefully in the absence of the cooling towers, Oxfordshire will be given something more concrete to admire—a park, a monument, a library? But maybe not—The Guardian is swift to remind that "the neighbouring gas-fired Didcot B will continue to produce power."

2014 Tour de France winner Vincenzo Nibali, of Italy, stands with Slovakia's Peter Sagan, best sprin

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2014 Tour de France winner Vincenzo Nibali, of Italy, stands with Slovakia's Peter Sagan, best sprinter, Poland's Rafal Majka, best climber, and France's Thibaut Pinot, best young rider. Image by Laurent Cipriani, via AP.

British Inventor Builds Gigantic Butt to Fart at France

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British Inventor Builds Gigantic Butt to Fart at France

British inventor and YouTube celebrity Colin Furze—previously known for creating a jet-powered bike and the "world's fastest toilet"—recently created a big metal butt with a butthole fashioned to fit a gigantic pulsejet. Why? To fart at France, of course.

After learning the pulsejet sounded alarmingly like a fart, Furze hoped to create a jet loud enough to be heard across the English channel, 21 miles from his location on a beach in southern England. (He does quote the Monty Python line you're thinking of, if you were wondering.) Watch the experiment here:

And if you'd like a little background on the creation of the fart, here's Furze creating the giant pulsejet:

And here's Furze creating the butt:

Beautiful.

[image via YouTube, h/t NYDaily/BBCAmerica]

Watch a Sneak Peek of the Family Guy and Simpsons Crossover Episode

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Family Guy's Comic-Con panel began with a peek at the show's upcoming crossover episode with The Simpsons, which airs on September 28th. The four-minute clip has somehow made its way onto the internet, and you can watch it now! If you want to!

Bob's Burgers' Bob Belcher even makes an appearance.

[h/t EntertainmentWeekly]

Woman Struck by Car During San Diego ZombieWalk Chaos

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Woman Struck by Car During San Diego ZombieWalk Chaos

A 64-year-old woman was struck by a car on Saturday night in San Diego during the city's annual ZombieWalk. Police say the driver was a deaf man trying to escape the faux-zombie horde with his deaf children in the backseat.

The SDPD told NBC San Diego that the driver, in a black Honda Accord, waited for ZombieWalk participants to cross for several minutes before slowly rolling forward, frightened, in attempt to get out of the crowd. According to police, when the car began to roll forward, several people from the crowd began pounding on it, shattering the car's windshield.

As he drove through the crowd, the driver hit 64-year-old woman—who was not participating in the ZombieWalk—with the side of his car. The woman was hospitalized with a serious, but not life-threatening, arm injury. Several videos of the incident have made it to YouTube:

Officials report the driver of the vehicle then drove to a police officer who was standing down the street, and stopped once he reached the officer.

Witnesses of the incident, though, tell a slightly different story. Witness Sean Foley told NBC San Diego that the driver began honking when he was stuck with several other vehicles behind the crowd:

When he started inching forward, a parade watcher sat on his hood, Foley said. As the driver continued to accelerate, others stood in front of the car.

"People began shouting for him to stop so as not to run through a parade that included [sic] children and babies in strollers at which point he floored his car through the crowd," Foley wrote in an email.

Foley continued, claiming the driver's windshield was only broken after he drove into the crowd:

"The only reason he was surrounded by a crowd who was angry was because he was pushing his car through a crowd that was trying to watch the parade."

It is worth noting that guidelines on the official ZombieWalk site state, "Do not block foot or auto traffic, as it is a safety risk and can also be illegal depending on the situation."

Another witness named Diana Jackson told NBC San Diego that the driver took off so aggressively that "his tires squealed."

According to The Wrap, the SDPD traffic division is investigating and no arrests have been made.

[image via YouTube]

Police: Family of Five, Including Three Children, Shot Dead in Maine

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Police: Family of Five, Including Three Children, Shot Dead in Maine

Officials report that a family of five, including three young children, were found on Sunday shot to death inside a southern Maine apartment.

According to the AP, a worker at the apartment complex discovered one body after being alerted to the apartment by a family friend who was concerned about the family's well-being. The worker immediately called the police.

Police found the family members—the adults in their 30s and the children aged twelve, seven, and four—in three different rooms. A gun was found near one of the bodies, and investigators said it appeared that someone in the family was responsible for the shootings. A spokesman for the Maine Department of Public Safety named Stephen McCausland spoke to the Portland Press Herald about the deaths:

"All indications are that no one outside of the family was responsible for the deaths. These are not accidental deaths."

The AP reports that the father was a maintenance worker for the complex. The AP spoke to a neighbor who described him as friendly, saying, "You'd walk and he'd ask how your day was going. He was really nice."

According to the Portland Press Herald, neighbors did not hear gunshots, "but at one point the man left the building and squealed his tires as he drove off and later returned and slammed the door."

At a press briefing on Sunday night, police said the family members were shot around 11:30 p.m. on Saturday. State police said autopsies will be performed Monday.

[image via AP]


​Masters of Sex Was Nearly Perfect Last Night

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​Masters of Sex Was Nearly Perfect Last Night

The storytelling in Masters of Sex generally has two modes: By-the-numbers three-act plotting, or dreamy jazz improv. Last night, by abandoning 2014 television structures and going for a very simple format, it managed to tell itself in miniature.

Quietly devastating, the episode shifted between two minor events—a period-piece boxing match and the unpleasant "correction" of an intersexed newborn—as punctuation for an intensely layered roleplaying game between the show's two leads, Virginia and Bill, as they carry out a single night of their affair in a hotel room without benefit of the extended cast, all under the crumbling, nearly abandoned pretense of scientific study.

Gini navigates Bill's weirdness (even more extreme than usual) like a champ, playing the levels of their narrative off each other, retreating when necessary, trading blows and playing the innocent when it suits her purposes. Gini shows up in character, more mannered and stylized in her speech and movement than we've seen her lately: One of her most potent defenses—which always also act as weapons in her arsenal—is behaving like a storybook character, and she arrives armored.

Bill, on the other hand, is undone by his experience at work, in which he sees the male entitlement of his era—one that defines his character, usually—through another lens. The intersexed baby boy's father brooks no discussion and will hear none of his options, so desperate is he to rule out a malformed male child and relegate him to female genitalia. The show's always been plainspoken in the default-male politics of its era (and our own), and it's touching and maddening to see Bill kicking against the system that he so often takes for granted.

Meanwhile Gini watches from the outside, as what seems like a world full of men gaze adoringly at the boxing match on television, living out their most sensual and brutal fantasies as if the world for which they quietly fight all the time—one of invisible women, watching the men best each other over and over—is just a screen away.

"I will tell you this: I don't want my son to be a boxer. No. When he's hurt, I don't want him to act like he's not. That is not a lesson he needs to learn. And I don't think that's what's going to make him a man."

It's all the more powerful for its delivery: Not a soapbox stance, not a proto-feminist rant. Just a simple suggestion that Bill is right after all: A so-called malformed manhood is only as unworthy as the gaze that falls upon it. Less an exhortation to the emotional intimacy at which they've both been hammering away the whole hour, and more of a simple restructuring of Bill's personal narrative, it opens his eyes and his heart in a way no amount of demand and reprisal could do.

During the couple's heavily freighted boxing match, the two manage to hit most of the show's philosophical high points, most notably the way that passivity confers a kind of control on what some people might call the victim and other people might call the martyr. Again, this could be writ large, as a statement on the relationships between men and women in the outside world—that giving is taking; that women of the era have everything to gain from their passivity, but it's a losing proposition and a diminishing return—but instead reflects more upon the darker aspects of Bill's own childhood, a malformed masculinity itself, and something he has certainly never revealed to his real wife, Libby.

In one of his more desperate (and characteristic) moves, Bill feints back at Virginia's attempt to fuck him off a train of thought by demanding she strip off while he remains clothed. Lulled into a false sense of victory, Bill—who has already taken her pretty roughly, and without pretext, at the beginning of their session—flies too close to the sun, begging her to pursue him, to beg him for some dick.

Turned off, Gini returns the favor, in probably the best power move of the episode: Masturbating at him from less than a yard away, refusing to break eye contact, until he is overcome. It's an exploration of a different kind of intimacy, and one that I think is pretty healthy for them both—with that demonstration of "vulnerability" and of the concrete fact that she is anything but, Virginia opens the door for some of the show's rawest emotional moments to date. Just slightly enough.

Because she's not just playing with herself, she's saying: They're at play together. Fucking is never just about getting fucked, the lie that men tell themselves: It's always another boxing match. The medical terrors Bill's tiny patient undergoes aren't simply reminders of his internal state, they're asking a question neither participant is allowed to ask: What is it? Who wins out, male or female? Who's the default? What is the final form of the thing we are making together? Can a bout just end, ever? Do we really need a winner? Is that even allowed?

To ask the question without an answer, then, the two play at marriage throughout the visit, assuming and trading dominant and submissive roles that their "real" selves would never, ever countenance. I don't think it's a mistake we find them performing themselves especially well for the sweet bellhop Elliot. In his youth, he's reminiscent less of the implicated young bystanders in Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? than the more angelically oblivious, supposedly "gratuitous" dancers in Look Who's Coming To Dinner; in his callow appeals to chivalry he recalls Virginia's former fiancé, Nice Guy Ethan Haas. Elliot's the best their future can make, and it's not a lot; nevertheless their shared mood brightens whenever he arrives, and darkens when he leaves again.

But not because they're sad, course: They're ecstatic, in the religious sense, as the sex in Masters tends to be. They have finally found a way around their fences and their walls, a play-within-a-play, to tell the stories of their deepest origins. They pretend, to play at science, to clear a place to do the actual work of becoming human with one another, never understanding how vastly more worthwhile, and universal, the latter experiment is. (And of course, without our perspective of history, how central both will be, one day, to our own lives.)

​Masters of Sex Was Nearly Perfect Last Night

Before Mrs. Lydia Holden (Gini's character for the night) met her husband of 14 years, she loved only one man: A no-goodnik or romantic who softly forgot his engagement, and later softly remembered it. She offers this story, a year lost to fantasy, as an explanation for her own era-defying sexual autonomy; just as deftly, she brings Libby into the room with them when things get too intimate, or whenever Bill begins falling under the spell of their imaginary narrative.

Their shared dream self-regulates, throughout, as one or the other of them fears the flood of intimacy—often, to protect the other from its sway—and as has become usual this season, Gini is usually the one to call to it explicitly, referring to their lives outside the room whenever necessary to keep Bill on alert. But it's also Gini who forgets herself, betraying the dream sometimes accidentally, usually on purpose, for one reason or another. When "Dr. Holden" falters telling the story of his own abusive childhood, Gini applies the nuclear option of using his real name, Bill, calling him out of the room and back to her. It breaks the spell, but it gives Masters a moment of a sort of peace that we've never seen on his face.

We see Williams and Simon, and most explicitly Albee, in the formal representation of this functionally bottle episode. But in the episode's foundations—post-structuralist but pointedly not postmodern, to be annoyingly precise—we see what film (and only film) can do: Rather than relying on alcohol to spin our characters into darkness, or sudden surprises, the narrative builds itself from more pieces than simply character. Quick cuts to the boxing match and its attendant voiceover, cuts to the devastating tortures of Bill's newborn patient as he is rendered out to the slag heap of gender, and even that meta-jump into the unspoken truths about boxing all re-tell the story of two brilliantly broken people, in a brilliant and beautifully broken world.

​Masters of Sex Was Nearly Perfect Last Night

A lesser show might ask whether boxing is a useful metaphor for the feints and fears and bruises of love: Obviously. And great shows have asked whether the release of tension under highly regulated conditions like the boxing ring is substantially different than certain forms of lovemaking or verbal debate or passive aggressions. But only Masters, I think, could get away with so boldly putting that hoary metaphor in the middle of an extended meditation on intimacy and forcing it into so many shapes and layers at once. There's no need to handicap a bottle episode when the bottle contains the show's entire world; Libby Masters never leaves the room, Austin Langham is there in Bill's angry tears, Mrs. Scully is there in Gini's tentative inquiries. You're there, I'm there.

"I am going to come at you," we say—sometimes out loud, sometimes other ways—"with everything I've got. And you will come at me, and we will figure something out. I will duck, or weave, or most powerfully of all I will take the hit. And then you will owe me. And before you know it we are stuck in the story. You will pretend innocence, or act the husband, or the cowering child, or the novice wife, and I will hold you like a lover. We will break, retreat to corners, come back again."

It's a bout that never ends, reflected back on itself a million ways, in a hotel room that seems to have no exit. They are very brave, I think, knowing they could leave at any time. At points they shudder. They are boxers, they are lovers, they are scientists, they will break each other into a million pieces. They will put those pieces back together again. All of these things are true, inside that hotel room. Outside, it's true of us all. And that's Masters at its finest: By telling a story about broken toys, institutionalized horrors, and drawing its blurred lines from here to there, the show returns again and again to its radically simple truth: To fucking, and the brightness underneath.

[Images and video via Showtime]

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Florida Warns Beachgoers of Flesh-Eating Bacteria in the Water

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Florida Warns Beachgoers of Flesh-Eating Bacteria in the Water

Health officials in Florida today issued new warnings about high levels of a flesh-eating bacterium in the ocean and other recreational waters in the state. The state says that bacterium, Vibrio vulnificus, causes ulceration and rapid skin decay and is fatal in about 50 percent of people who get it in their bloodstreams.

Vibrio "has hospitalized 32 people, and killed ten in Florida, although through a period of years, not all at once," according to the state; however, another report today, focusing on one infected lagoon in South Florida, says there were "41 reported cases of infections from the deadly bacteria last year in Florida, which killed 11 people, including a 59-year old man infected while crabbing in the Halifax River near Ormond Beach."

According to the Broward-Palm Beach New Times, this shit is no joke:

"A person can contract the virus by eating tainted raw shell fish and oysters," Florida Department of Health Deputy Press Secretary Pamela Crane tells New Times. "And people who swim in seawater who have open wounds are also vulnerable to the bacteria."

The virus can cause vomiting, diarrhea and abdominal pain, but is especially dangerous with those with a weaker immune system, especially in people with chronic liver disease. Vibrio can get into the bloodstream and cause life-threatening illnesses. Symptoms include fever, chills, a drop in blood pressure and skin lesions...

So basically, if you have a weak immune system, or an open wound, best to avoid the water for now.

The state notes that Vibrio is naturally occurring and tends to flare up in the summer—not unlike other human-caused disease-causing bacteria and viruses (read: poop-related diseases) that have been found in massive concentrations along much of Florida's lightly-regulated coast this summer.

In one instance, a "no" swimming advisory was put into effect in North Florida for enterococci bacteria levels that were 30 times acceptable levels—far higher than the worst readings in the Gowanus Canal after Hurricane Sandy blew through. (The "no" is in quotes because swimming was discouraged but not banned.)

Florida doesn't typically require beach shutdowns for bacteria infestations; in fact, 59 percent of its beaches aren't tested for bacteria levels; the others rely on federal funding to carry out periodical tests. But hey, only the strong survive in a libertarian paradise!

[Photo credit: Shutterstock]

Hawk Eats Live Mouse on NYC Curb Because This City Is Cruel and Cold

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A red-tailed hawk, described as "elusive" in the caption of the above YouTube clip, was caught on camera Monday afternoon attempting to ingest a live mouse while onlookers watched in awe and reverence.

"It's like Animal Planet in New York City!" one man notes. "Take it," he adds, after which the bird does, in a deliberate swallow of triumph.

This isn't the first time birds of prey have run wild in our delicate city. Our own office once witnessed something just as majestic, though many famous bloggers were very afraid.

Let's Crack Open the "TMZ Vault"

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Let's Crack Open the "TMZ Vault"

Buzzfeed's story about the history of TMZ quickly gets to the foundation of TMZ's power: It's often not what the gossip site does publish, but what it doesn't. Early on in the article, writer Anne Helen Petersen makes mention of the "TMZ Vault," the affectionate name for Harvey Levin's trove of scandalous, unpublished, and presumably leveraged material. But why should its contents stay secret?

Back in June, we reported on one notorious item in the vault—an old video of Justin Bieber telling racist jokes. Only after the video finally leaked to a different outlet—the U.K. tabloid The Sun—did we learn that TMZ had been holding onto that, and other, similar footage for years. The site said it made the decision not to publish the videos because Bieber "was 15 and immediately told his friends what he did was stupid," but our sources said that the real reason TMZ kept them under wraps was because they were used as a way to "extort appearances and call-ins" from the then-teenage pop star.

According to Petersen, the "TMZ Vault" includes:

sealed testimonies from the Michael Jackson molestation trial [...] footage of various celebrities—Bieber, Lohan, Travolta—behaving badly.

We've also heard—unconfirmed, of course—whispers that Lindsay Lohan's October 2012 appearance on TMZ Live came about because Levin killed a damaging story.

There are many reasons that a gossip publication like TMZ (or Gawker, or Defamer) might choose not to publish a seemingly juicy scoop. But it's clear based on our and Peterson's reporting that one of the reasons TMZ holds information back is a desire to use those secrets to its advantage. Hollywood is crawling with two-bit greaseballs, threatening, often emptily, to blackmail this actor or that singer—but when a media empire like TMZ is holding the secrets, it would probably be best to pay attention.

We're sleazy, scummy gossip hacks. But we're not TMZ. We have no interest in keeping Hollywood's juiciest gossip hidden away so that celebrities will appear on the television show we don't have. Let's start with an inventory of TMZ's war chest. If you know what's inside, get in touch with us at tips@gawker.com or 646-470-4295—or leave a tip below.

Fugitive Killed in West Village Was Wanted for Child Molestation

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Fugitive Killed in West Village Was Wanted for Child Molestation

A fugitive killed in a shooting involving U.S. marshals and police in the West Village today was wanted for child molestation. He was profiled just last week on CNN's "The Hunt," the show where John Walsh tries to catch suspected criminals. Charles Mozdir, 32, had been on the run since 2012.

According to The New York Times, two U.S. marshals and one NYPD detective were shot and rushed to Bellevue hospital from a smoke shop on West 4th street after trying to serve Mozdir with a warrant. As of now, their injuries aren't life-threatening.

Mozdir was accused in two different child assault cases. From "The Hunt":

He is considered a threat. "Certainly I believe that he is out there right now harming children and harming other people, I absolutely believe that," said Steve Jurman, a supervisory deputy with the U.S. Marshals Service. Mozdir was last seen in San Diego by his sister with his dog, a black lab named Lucky. He has search and rescue and EMT training, and may be able to live off the land for extended periods of time.

[Image via @dorseyshaw]

Lefty News Blogs Fall For Michele Bachmann "Labor Camps" Story

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Lefty News Blogs Fall For Michele Bachmann "Labor Camps" Story

That Michele Bachmann, she sure says some wacky stuff, right? Well, what if she said something really wacky? That's the hi-larious gag "satire" news site KCTV7 ran with last week, publishing an article titled "Michele Bachmann Suggests Labor Camps for Immigrant Children."

According to the report, the congresswoman purposed putting kids detained at the border in "Americanization Facilities" where they'd spend "half of their day working, and the other half learning what every child should learn, and that's English."

As you may have noticed, this sort of thing is practically progressive catnip, and a number of liberal blogs pounced on the story, including Daily Kos, Think Progress and Crooks and Liars, who ran the headline "Crazy Eyes Bachmann Wants Central American Children Put In Indoctrination Camps."

On Sunday, Raw Story finally pointed out the KCTV7 report's overwhelming bogosity. This prompted a swift but quiet round of corrections, Think Progress going so far as to strikethrough their entire article.

Of course, because we live in some kind of hoax news dystopia, KCTV7 didn't even write the original piece, having plagiarized the story's text from fellow fake news shitheels National Report. Somehow, this is closest thing the whole garbage story has to an upside, making a solid case for banning the Internet entirely.

[Image via Shutterstock]

New Hampshire police say they've arrested Nathaniel E.

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New Hampshire police say they've arrested Nathaniel E. Kibby, 34, for kidnapping 15-year-old Abby Hernandez. According to WCAX, the arrest was made "without incident" at his New Hampshire home. Hernandez was returned to her family last Sunday.


Behold: The Mother Of All Flotillas At The Mother Of All Naval War Games

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Behold: The Mother Of All Flotillas At The Mother Of All Naval War Games

Exercise Rim Of The Pacific, commonly known as RIMPAC, is the largest multinational naval training event in the world. Based out of Honolulu, Hawaii, RIMPAC brings together a multitude of Navies with far ranging capabilities to train together cooperatively under intricate battle scenarios similar to the ones they may face in the real world.

RIMPAC 2014, held June 28th through August 1st, saw Australia, Brunei, Canada, Chile, China, Colombia, France, India, Indonesia, Japan, Malaysia, Mexico, Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway, Peru, the Philippines, Singapore, South Korea, Tonga, the United Kingdom, and the United States come together for the massive exercise. A total of 49 ships and 6 submarines, 25,000 service people, and over 200 aircraft took part in the massive war game. Another six countries were also present to observe the exercise so that they could bring the lessons learned from it back to their respective commands.

Behold: The Mother Of All Flotillas At The Mother Of All Naval War Games

RIMPAC is executed on the sea, in the air and on the ground, with a wide range of warfare presented, although there is a certainly a focus on maritime and amphibious operations. These training scenarios included everything from anti-submarine warfare to disaster relief operations, and were designed to challenge participants while also pushing the many different nations involved to learn how to maximize their interoperability and to better understand each others unique capabilities.

RIMPAC 2014 would see China participate in the mega-exercise for the first time ever. Invited in 2012 by then Defense Secretary Leon Panetta, China sent four ships, including a bunker/resupply ship, a guided missile frigate, a destroyer and a state-of-the-art hospital ship to actively train along many of its regional peer-stare competitors, including Japan.

Behold: The Mother Of All Flotillas At The Mother Of All Naval War Games

Japan traditionally has a large presence at RIMPAC and is also currently mired in a nasty territorial dispute with China over the strategically significant Senkaku Islands. There were concerns about China's invite to RIMPAC shortly after it was known that the invitation was delivered, and further controversy has arisen after it was discovered that China sent a spy ship to shadow the same exercise that it was also a part of, leading to calls for the Chinese Navy to be excluded from the next RIMPAC in 2016.

Behold: The Mother Of All Flotillas At The Mother Of All Naval War Games

RIMPAC is also known for debuting and operationally testing new technologies and concepts in a combined arms manner. The stars of RIMPAC 2014 included the Marine's experimental Ultra Heavy-Lift Amphibious Connector, AH-64E Apache attack helicopters operating in force off of a US Navy Amphibious Assault Ship, as well as the sci-fi like Legged Squad Support System robotic mule which assisted Marines on patrol.

The US Navy's embattled Littoral Combat Ship also took part in the exercises off of Oahu after taking a hiatus in 2012 after debuting at RIMPAC for the first time in 2010. USS Independence, otherwise known as LCS-2, the trimaran version of the LCS concept, was sent to participate for the first time at RIMPAC. Sending the Independence was a late decision for the US Navy as the ship was originally scheduled to remain in San Diego through the summer.

RIMPAC has also expanded outside of its Central Pacific operating location to the southern coast of California, where parallel RIMPAC exercises are now held that are focused exclusively on the critical mine warfare and underwater diving/demolition mission. Eight other nations would actively participate in these training missions that took place around San Diego and the Channel Islands, with mine sweeping, mine laying, and unmanned underwater vehicle capabilities being tested and participating ships' crews mine hunting skills being honed.

Behold: The Mother Of All Flotillas At The Mother Of All Naval War Games

Along with the US Navy, Marines, Coast Guard and Army, the USAF also got into the RIMPAC action with Hawaii's 199th FW and their F-22A Raptors bringing 5th generation fighter capability to the exercise. USAF E-3 Sentry, KC-135R Stratotanker, and F-16C Block 30s from 301st FW out of Fort Worth, Texas were also players in the war games. Other USAF assets included B-52Hs, F-15Es, C-21As, C-17s and MQ-9 Predators. These flew alongside well over a hundred USMC and USN aircraft, including helicopters, fighter, and ISR (Information, Surveillance, Reconnaissance) aircraft. Even the Airborne Tactical Advantage Company's (ATAC) forward deployed Hawker Hunters were used to simulate anti-ship cruise missile attacks on participating vessels.

RIMPAC usually includes live-fire events, and the sinking of at least one large ship, known as a Sinking Exercise, or SINKEX. This year it was USS Tuscaloosa, a Newport-class tank landing ship that was originally commissioned in 1970, and the USS Ogden, an Austin-class amphibious transport dock that was originally commissioned in 1965, that would meet their demise via friendly torpedoes, anti-ship missiles, bombs, and gunfire.

Getting the very most out of international mega-training events like RIMPAC has become more important than ever as military budgets have come under great pressure in the last six years. Smaller navies mean there is a large need to get the most out of the fewer assets that a nation has, as well as preparing to operate within coalitions that are comprised of highly disparate capabilities and cultures.

Behold: The Mother Of All Flotillas At The Mother Of All Naval War Games

RIMPAC provides a unique and accelerated breeding ground for improving not just a participating nation's own capabilities but a potential coalition's capabilities as a whole, and much of this is as cultural and interpersonal based as it is weapons based. Knowing not just what your potential allies have to fight with, but how they fight with it is extremely important. At RIMPAC, and at other multinational training events, lessons can be learned and any associated inter-operational problems can be solved before a real shot is ever fired in anger. This equates to money and time well spent and possibly lives saved, and that is precisely why RIMPAC continues to grow and evolve as the world's premier international naval warfare training opportunity.

All pictures via the DoD, for more great pictures from RIMPAC 2014 click here!

Tyler Rogoway is a defense journalist and photographer that maintains the website Foxtrot Alpha for Jalopnik.com You can reach Tyler with story ideas or direct comments regarding this or any other defense topic via the email address Tyler@Jalopnik.com

"I beg you, stop.

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"I beg you, stop. I ask you with all my heart," Pope Francis beseeched humanity about its incessant strife today, the 100th anniversary of the beginning of the First World War. "Everything is lost with war, nothing is lost with peace." And Israel and Gaza and Russia and Ukraine were all "Ehhhhh FUCK that guy."

A Blank Profile Is Probably as Good as Whatever You Wrote on OkCupid

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A Blank Profile Is Probably as Good as Whatever You Wrote on OkCupid

Much like Facebook, dating site OkCupid has been conducting secret social experiments on its users—not to influence their moods, but sometimes to influence their opinions of one another. In the latest post on OkCupid's data-driven chronicle of man's inhumanity to man, the OkTrends Blog, we learn that your picture is all that matters and you'll like whomever a fair-to-middling cupid tells you to like.

Unashamed of its experiments, OkCupid has come right out and explained the results—and all of them point to profile photos as the main driver of behavior on the site.

When OkCupid removed photos for one day, to promote its failed blind date app, traffic and interaction dropped dramatically. As soon as photos were turned back on, people abruptly bailed on the "blind" conversations they had started.

Even more telling, OkCupid revealed it had to remove its "personality" rating scale years ago, because it turned out to only measure looks.

A Blank Profile Is Probably as Good as Whatever You Wrote on OkCupid

"The two scores are within a half point of each other for 92% of the sample after just 25 votes (and that percentage approaches 100% as vote totals get higher). In short, according to our users, 'looks' and 'personality' were the same thing," wrote OkCupid's Christian Rudder.

The problem of hotties with literally no text on their profiles receiving high marks for "personality" inspired OkCupid to measure exactly how much your potential dates care about all those words you spend so much time writing. The results are bleak.

Displaying the same profiles with and without their text produced more or less the same responses.

"Essentially, the text is less than 10% of what people think of you," Rudder wrote.

Lesson learned: If you're hot enough, you can go ahead and skip the written exam. If you're not, give it a shot. You've got nothing to lose and 10 percent to gain.

OK, Cupid, what about the mind-control part of this experiment? How was a dating website influencing its users in nefarious, Facebook-like ways? That neat trick has to do with the site's compatibility ratings.

Basically, OkCupid decided to see how much influence those scores actually had on singles' opinions of one another by finding pairs with low compatibility—say, 30 percent—and telling them they'd be perfect for one another.

And, holy shit, it worked. Here's Rudder again:

Does the mere suggestion cause people to actually like each other? As far as we can measure, yes, it does.

When we tell people they are a good match, they act as if they are. Even when they should be wrong for each other.

He points out that this placebo effect seemed to work better when the two subjects were more compatible to begin with, but in the absence of actually hitting it off—or liking one another's photos, as we learned earlier—being mind-tricked together by a website is almost as good.

How is this any better than Facebook using our news feeds to see if it can make us miserable? OkCupid doesn't have a very thorough justification.

"[G]uess what, everybody: if you use the Internet, you're the subject of hundreds of experiments at any given time, on every site. That's how websites work," is about as close as they get to giving a fuck.

But perhaps we're more willing to accept this sort of thing from OkCupid because online dating already feels like consenting to participate in a social experiment. It's a game we play with virtual strangers, while Facebook is a place we trust with our "real friends," even when we know we probably shouldn't.

[H/T OkCupid, Photo: Shutterstock.com]

The New York Times Legalize Weed Editorial Didn't Change Obama's Mind

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The New York Times Legalize Weed Editorial Didn't Change Obama's Mind

President Barack Obama, forever maybe-sorta-OK-with-but-not-exactly-jazzed-about cannabis, was unconvinced by the New York Times's late-to-the-party proclamation that the plant should be legalized on a federal level.

Reporters asked White House Press Secretary Josh Earnest today whether the editorial had changed the president's mind about pot, to which he replied:

The administration's position on this has not changed. We remain committed to treating drug use as a public health issue, not just a criminal justice problem.

That the Times would suddenly lead Obama's thoughts straight to full-on legalization was a long shot, but the president's position has evolved, as they say, since he took office in 2008. Obama said in a January New Yorker interview that weed isn't more dangerous than alcohol, and a White House memo from this month described legalization as a "states' rights" issue. Maybe someone should ask him again after the week of 420-friendly editorials on the way from the paper is over.

[Image via AP]

How to Cope With Five Weeks of a Broken G Train

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How to Cope With Five Weeks of a Broken G Train

For an unbelievable five weeks starting last Friday, New York City's G Train, the only direct subway route between Brooklyn and Queens, will not run between the two boroughs. How will you cope?

The G train is like a short sandwich. A foot-long sub that you're only given half of. The links in a chain of sausages that someone pulled away from the sausage-maker too soon. The "G train hustle" sends riders into a flurry when they see the train approaching, having to catch up to that one hot dog link that is too far away to grasp. This train is only four cars long.

But it's a delicious, convenient sandwich to anyone who needs to get to Queens or midtown Manhattan from Brooklyn. Right now, though, if you want to get north of Nassau Ave., you're going to have to hail a green cab. Or walk.

The cause of the shutdown is the MTA's ongoing effort to fix the G train's tunnel, which was damaged during Superstorm Sandy. The construction had disturbed the lives of G train riders on twelve weekends through 2013, resulting in a laundry list of fixes the MTA chronicled extensively, including a fix to the G Train tubes. The tubes had been majorly damaged from the storm.

But remember, as with any temporary interruption to the delicate infrastructure of our lives as New Yorkers, there is always a bright side. You just have to dig in the hot trash to find it.

The Shuttle Bus Ain't So Bad

When else do you get to ride any MTA bus for free? Sure, the shuttles are crowded, and appear to be overseen by Bane, but if you think of it as a free bus ride, that might be the push that gets you through the misery. The last free bus ride you got was in middle school and man, weren't those the days?

You Can Show Up to Work Late, Probably

Gawker Media would never encourage you to be tardy to your job, but the G train's current problems are an understandable excuse for lateness. Practice these sample scripts on the shuttle bus before you arrive at Your Job:

EMPLOYEE: Bossman, so sorry I'm late! The G train is mad fucked.

BOSS: [slaps employee's hand] No problem, dude! Welcome to your work at FedEx Office copy center! Be late whenever you want! [The boss hands the employee a bag of candy]

Another:

EMPLOYEE: Hey, big kahuna! I know I'm about four hours late, but that damn G train. It sure is fucking with my mojo to get to work on time.

BOSS: You're late! You know how I feel about people who are late!

EMPLOYEE: [sad face] I know . . .

BOSS: That's right—I give them a HUGE RAISE. You should be ashamed. Here's a ton of cash.

EMPLOYEE: $$$$$ [Employee and boss turn simultaneously and wink]

Teach Your Ignorant Manhattan Friends About Transport

Most Manhattanites, living in the neighborhoods of Justoffthesixtrain and Ohacabwontcostthatmuchfromhere, have never had reason to ride the G train. Some of them may not even know it exists!

Well, now that you're going to have to take the Q to get to Queens from Brooklyn, you can pop by their apartments and let them know. Show up at their apartments and give them some short speeches about public transport. Do they know the differences between the BMT and the IRT? Do they know what the G used to be called? Make them ride the shuttle bus with you (and tell them how fun it is!). Stay at their apartments. Squatters rights! You can probably just move in!

Write Down All Your Sick Burns on the MTA

Whether you spend all day wondering if the transportation authority is pocketing at least an extra $34 of your FedEx Office copy center paycheck every time they up the price of a monthly Metrocard, or whether you can hardly believe the number of delays you're experiencing in one ten-minute train ride, you hate the MTA. Get a Moleskine at The Strand and start jotting down burns while you wait at least two hours for the shuttle bus.

Metropolitan Transportation Authority? More like Most Terrible Anus.

I'd rather eat a sandwich at Subway than ride the NYC subway.

That prior burn was so bad that it was almost as bad as the NYC subway.

What do you think the G in G train stands for? Garbage?

That prior burn was even worse than the worst one, which is like the same relative quality of shittiness between the NYC subway and the G train.

Philadelphia has a better public transportation system than New York. [Dayna—this one may be too harsh — Ed.]

Imagine What Five Weeks of Interrupted Service Should Yield

An interesting and foolish thing to do while your service is being interrupted in a lengthy way is to speculate what we're getting on the other end. Why don't we have a Willy Wonka-level imaginarium of stuff for us to fuck around with, like candy trees and a lake of chocolate? The last thing the subway needs is a stupid fixed tube. Dream big—like you live in Norway!

  1. A bar in every subway stop that serves one [free] piña colada for every minute the train is delayed.
  2. No more stairs. Only elevators.
  3. In fact, no more elevators. Only teleportation.
  4. While we're walking down that path, no more trains. Only cabs.
  5. Free Nathan's hot dogs every third Thursday of the month.

Bike

You could bike lol?

Enjoy Your Fellow New Yorkers' Misery

A cursory search on Twitter for "G Train" pulls up hundreds of entries on the crappiness of New York's most unreliable and most hated train. Since misery loves company, this search will be invaluable to you in the next five weeks. Consider framing them, if it helps.

Set A Weird Goal

Distract yourself from your new hellish commute with a self-imposed challenge:

  • For the entirety of your train or shuttle bus ride, write out the full alphabet over and over but without the letter G. See how many times you can do it before you have to get off.
  • Can you make your commute by only getting off the subway at stations where churros are offered?
  • Never sit down once on the train in the five weeks you are inconvenienced.
  • Alternatively, try to sit down every time you ride the train. This is much harder and potentially very rude. But you're up for anything! So why not?
  • Learn how to Showtime before Showtime gets banned.

[Image by Jim Cooke]

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