Dr. Kent Brantly, a doctor who contracted Ebola while working in Liberia, and who arrived back in the States on Saturday for treatment, appears to be improving, Reuters reports. Dr. Tom Frieden, director of the U.S. Centers for Disease Control in Atlanta, said that it is too soon, however, to determine whether he will survive.

A man in Decatur, Ill. is being held on charges of attempted murder and domestic battery after he allegedly tried to murder his roommate on Wednesday when she admitted to him that she'd eaten three single Chips Ahoy cookies for breakfast. The news of the cookie consumption apparently sent him into a rage.

Allen Hall, a 23-year-old who lived with a 49-year-old woman willing to admit to eating Chips Ahoy cookies for breakfast, threatened to kill his roommate while she was in the bathroom. She opened the door, not thinking he was serious, after which Hall went into a rage and allegedly attacked her.

Via the Herald Review:

"Allen grabbed her around the throat with both of his hands and threw her down into the tub," she told police, said the affidavit. "She hit the back of her head on the tub and this caused a knot on her head."

Hall then got on top of her "and strangled her to the point she could not speak and was having difficulty breathing."

The victim was saved by her husband and landlady when they heard the commotion coming from the bathroom. According to a police report, Hall resorted to violence because the woman had provoked him to kill her, thinking he was joking about his cookie-inspired anger.

Hall is being held on $75,000 bond in Macon County Jail.

[Image via Shutterstock]

If you travel to, oh, let's say, West Africa on a humanitarian mission to help victims of the largest Ebola outbreak in history and contract the deadly virus in the process, don't expect any sympathy from Donald Trump.

The always vocal and opinionated Trump has been active on Twitter, fueling doomsday fears after the first American aid worker, Dr. Kent Brantly, arrived yesterday in the United States to receive treatment at the Emory University Hospital in Atlanta.

Brantly and fellow American aid worker Nancy Writebol were working at a Liberian hospital when they became seriously ill.

In case you're wondering—not you, Mr. Trump—Brantly is said to be recovering just fine.

[Image via AP]

BREAKING in the Hamptons police blotter pic.twitter.com/oaHt4nSrce

— erica orden (@eorden) August 3, 2014

An egg salad recipe is a terrible thing to lose, or so says Sergio Eisalat, a "reality TV star" renting a house in the Hamptons, whose private recipe went missing this week when a hungry thief made off with his briefcase.

One would think if the recipe is worth calling police over, it's also worth committing to memory, but perhaps Eisalat is additionally afraid of mind thieves. Whoever the alleged bandit is, feel free to comment with a burner account below to confirm that this egg salad really does yield "the best egg salad in the world."

Sometimes shit goes down when there's a billion dollars on an elevator.

At 1 a.m. this morning, Beyoncé released a surprise remix of her track "Flawless" featuring both a verse from Nicki Minaj and a nod to that elevator incident. (You remember it, right?) Of it, she says:

"We escalate, up in this bitch like elevators / Of course sometimes shit goes down when there's a billion dollars on an elevator."

Of course it does, sometimes! Listen to the track here, or on Beyoncé's site:

Rolling Stone points out that Beyoncé and Nicki's collaboration comes a few years after Minaj, speaking to Us Weekly, named Yonce as the number one artist she wanted to work with:

"I've worked with just about all my dream collabs, like I've worked with Jay-Z and I've worked with Kanye and I worked with Rihanna and I've worked with Eminem. Those were at the top of my list. Now that I've done that, probably the only one on my list that I haven't worked with that I'm really, really excited about is Beyonce."

Well, winning is her mother fucking protocol. So.

[image via Instagram]

An Oregon photographer took an absolutely stunning time lapse video of a thunderstorm bubbling up near Mount Hood, sending its gorgeous, multicolored clouds streaming over the snow-capped mountain peak and across the horizon.

The photographer, Blaine Franger, posted the video to his Facebook page on Saturday with the following caption:

A quick informal timelapse of last night's (8/1/14) sunset over Mt Hood & Hood River Valley. Sorry no music or editing effects, just natural beauty of the time passing by on a gorgeous summer evening :)

Blaine is a photographer who runs a photo website called Beautiful Hood River, where he posts incredible pictures of the Hood River and Columbia River Gorge region.

Parts of the northwestern United States have seen thunderstorm activity for the past couple of days, with one line even resulting in widespread wind damage around Spokane, Washington yesterday evening, knocking out power to more than 60,000 residents. http://thevane.gawker.com/why-doesnt-the...

On average, the Pacific Northwest generally sees thunderstorm activity only 5 to 10 days per year.

[video by Blaine Franger via his Facebook page, Beautiful Hood River]

Most kids would freak out if they were separated from their parents in a busy city like New York—but not Chris Villavicencio.

The 9-year-old, who was reported missing on Saturday, told the Daily News it was "the greatest day" of his young life.

Chris was at the Central Park Zoo with his sister, mom, and dad when he became lost and wandered the city for two hours, trying to retrace his steps. The boy meandered through Times Square and eventually ended up at the Port Authority Bus Terminal, where police officers found him and gave him yogurt.

"This was the greatest day of my life, because this was the first day I was at the police station!" Chris, of Union City, N.J., told the Daily News.

The family was reunited at the bus terminal.

The official death toll of the earthquake that hit the Yunnan province of China on Sunday afternoon has risen to 357 dead, the AP reports. According to their report, over 12,000 homes have been destroyed.

Teenagers! They love their phones as if they are humans with real feelings! A German teenager, after accidentally dropping his phone into a pond on a fishing trip, decided to drain the pond in order to get it back. Not that he thought it was working or anything—he just really needed it.

The New York Daily News reports that the 16-year-old sneaked back to the pond after his phone was submerged because the fishermen he was with wouldn't let him jump in and get it right then and there.

Via the NY Daily News:

He sneaked back to the pond hours after the fishing trip ended — armed with pumps and two hoses.

He tried to direct the pond water into the club's toilet, but ended up flooding a parking lot.

This alerted police, who foiled his plan to get his iPhone back.

He was aware that the phone was dead, he says, but he really wanted to get the data back. You know, the good teenage stuff: "numbers, pictures, and videos of my friends."

The teen will be forced to pay for damages to the angling club that were caused by his attempt at draining the pond, and he still doesn't have a phone, nor any of his cool stuff, either.

[Image via NY Daily News]

A woman was arrested yesterday after allegedly trying to steal a police car while two plainclothes officers were inside, according to the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.

The unmarked police car was parked outside Club Xtaza in Pittsburgh, where an afterparty for a Wiz Khalifa concert was being held.

Ria Buford, 32, hopped in the driver's seat of the police car at about 2 a.m. Police report that she smelled of alcohol. Buford told the two officers—Officer Garrett Spory riding shotgun and the other officer in the backseat—that she was taking the vehicle to her car.

When Spory tried to remove Buford from the car, a man, who refused to give his age or name, intervened. They were both arrested and charged with public drunkenness.

Buford was additionally charged with disorderly conduct and robbery of the motor vehicle.

[image via Shutterstock]

Police say that two teenagers in the Philadelphia suburbs broke into an area home in July, and weren't satisfied with just the one crime. While lurking around a house that didn't belong to them, they decided to cook up some "drug brownies" for kicks.

The two 17-year-old boys were found in a house in Perkiomen Township with over two pounds of an "unspecified drug" used to make the brownies and drug paraphernalia, as well. Police aren't sharing what exactly the drug was the teens were found with, but if we had to hazard a guess, we'd go with, you know, weed.

The teens have been charged in juvenile court for their alleged culinary prowess and trespassing.

[Image via AP]

After a slow pursuit, and more inane tortoise jokes than anyone should ever be forced to stomach, a missing 150-pound pet has been reunited with its family.

California's Alhambra Police Department put out an APB on Facebook after two officers found the tortoise roaming a residential street in Los Angeles yesterday. It didn't take long for the tortoise's family to come forward and claim him:

[Image via AP]

A burglar made off with $1 million worth in designer handbags and jewelry from Theresa Roemer's three-story closet in ritzy Houston suburb The Woodlands. The thief reportedly broke into her mansion while she was out to dinner with her husband and stuffed three Birkin bags (retail price: $60,000 a piece) with goodies before making their escape.

"They say it doesn't look like an inside job at all. They said it was very professional, like too professional," Roemer told KHOU. "The police said it could have been somebody that, like I said, saw all the publicity, Google Earthed it, figured it all out, flew in here, who knows?"

Roemer also told KHOU that she did not set the alarm or lock the closet before leaving the house with her husband.

The palatial closet is a celebrity all in its own—she described the 3,000-square-foot space to Cosmopolitan last month as a "retreat." And according to CultureMap Houston, she's hosted a number of charity events inside the closet and at its champagne bar (really):

The top floor of the closet houses furs and hats. The second floor is as much activity center as storage space. In addition to her shoes, clothes and vanity (professional salon style for hair styling and makeup application), there is a champagne bar for high style partying amid the cache of designer labels.

"He took heirloom items that were passed to me from my husband's mother that has passed away," Roemer told KHOU. "I mean I don't care about all this crap. I really don't care about this crap. I care about the stuff that was passed to me."

While the thief was recorded by surveillance cameras, police do not currently have a suspect.

"No one deserves this. I don't care if you're wealthy. I don't care if you're poor. Your personal belongings are your personal belongings," Roemer said.

[Image via Houston Chronicle]

James S. Brady, a former press secretary for Ronald Reagan, died today in Alexandria, Virginia. He was 73. Brady became a tireless advocate for gun control and founded the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence after getting shot by John Hinckley Jr. in an assassination attempt on Reagan in 1981.

November 30th, 2010: A filthy, naughty little Chris Pratt, suckered into doing a behind-the-scenes for the Season Two Parks & Recreation DVDs, blows his own spot on being a psychic (or future) personage as he "jokes" about the fact that in 3.5 years he will be the star of the new Jurassic Park movie. A thing he could not have known would later be true! (Probably.) Is this a long con, a weird coincidence... Or is Chris Pratt capable of using more than the scientifically usual ten percent of his brain?

Could the mystery penetrate even deeper than that long-held scientific fact about brains? Longtime fans know that the WB show Everwood was based in part on a prophecy that Chris's character, Bright Abbott, was the endpoint of human evolution just based on how hot he looks. But did you know that on the fourth season of The OC his character Che/Chester convinced himself that he was in love with Seth Cohen, based on a vision quest in which he learned his spiritual mate was an otter in human form (which is what Adam Brody probably is)? I think we're onto something.

For now, Pratt can be seen on the big screen in Guardians of the Galaxy, which was not my kind of thing overall (although I did enjoy the intensity of Drax, the very legit dance moves of Peter Quill, and the Marilla Cuthbert-esque values of Zoe Saldaña's character Gamora). In the film, he plays Chris Pratt but with muscles.

[Video via Youtube]

Morning After is a new home for television discussion online, brought to you by Gawker. Follow @GawkerMA and read more about it here.

America's premier rural community newspaper, the New York Times, has front-page coverage today of a trend that is roiling the countryside: the use of picturesque old wooden barns as rental spaces for folksy unpretentious rustic-themed weddings. Those weddings are loud! Country folk aren't accustomed to the hurly-burly of crowds and amplified music every weekend:

"They blare music all night long, they have college students out there screaming, and everyone's drinking," said Laurie Tulchin, who lives in a rural part of Iowa City next door to a wedding barn. "Rural residents have quiet lifestyles. Sometimes I just think, 'What the heck happened out here?' "

But these boozy hoedowns may eventually take care of themselves. Consider this:

Unlike other businesses, the barns are often not inspected to ensure that they are up to code, and many lack proper sanitation, fire doors and sprinklers, accommodations for people with disabilities and licenses to serve liquor.

And this:

Pinterest boards and rusticweddingchic.com suggest adding touches like sofas made of hay bales and wine bottles repurposed as candle holders.

Public-service announcement for Pinterest users: Not every feature of rusticity is meant to mix with every other feature of rusticity. Candles plus hay bales plus alcohol minus sprinklers equals an event the neighbors will really never forget.

[Image via AP]

Someone trying to prove a point about the nature and value of art—or about the remarkably steady birth rate of suckers (still approximately one per minute!)—has printed out a screenshot of a 4chan post and sold it on eBay for nearly six figures.

"Art used to be something to cherish / Now literally anything could be art / This post is art," reads the musing of some anonymous deep thinker from one of 4chan's messageboards.

The "piece" was listed on eBay last week for $500, and reached a top bid of $90,900 by the time it closed on August 1.

"This auction is for a One of a Kind work of art by Anonymous. This work is untitled. This item will be shipped in a frame for convenience. This artwork will be sold with no refunds accepted," wrote the seller, Xhacker02.

As with anything 4chan related, it'd be gullible to discount the possibility that bidders were just doing it for the lulz, but the winning bidder has a long history of positive eBay feedback, so it's possible they intend to pay.

Meanwhile, someone created a metacommentary on the original message by auctioning a printout of Xhackero2's eBay auction. Bidding had reached $50,100 before it was pulled.

Is "Artwork By Anonymous" actually art? No. Maybe? I don't know. But that's not the point. The point is how much someone is willing to pay for it.

[H/T CNET, Photo: eBay]

Fifty years ago today, President Lyndon Johnson launched strikes against North Vietnam for attacking U.S. warships without provocation in the Tonkin Gulf. Six days later, Congress passed a "Gulf of Tonkin resolution" giving Johnson carte blanche to make war in Vietnam. It was a thin pretext for protracted conflict.

After the "Tonkin Gulf Incident," inconvenient facts arose. DOD leaker Daniel Ellsberg—who had received reports of the attack while on his first day of work in the Pentagon on August 4, 1964—revealed in his leaked Pentagon Papers that a U.S. gunboat on an intelligence mission had probably provoked the North Vietnamese by venturing past their declared sea borders and firing first.

More alarmingly, the second attack—which was spun by LBJ as an act of "naked aggression" by Vietnamese communists, an act that had to be met with force—was imaginary. As an NSA analyst concluded in 2005: "It is not simply that there is a different story as to what happened; it is that no attack happened that night." Johnson reportedly knew this; he is said to have told his press secretary, Bill Moyers, "For all I know, our Navy was shooting at whales out there."

Eleven years later, as the U.S. withdrew its final forces from a transformative Vietnam conflict that had begun with that Tonkin Gulf Resolution, nearly 60,000 Americans and as many as 2 million Vietnamese were dead.

It may have been one of the largest deliberate mistruths to start a war, but it's by no means the only one. Here's a not-at-all comprehensive list of conflicts begun with false assumptions or flat-out lies:

The Crusades

Pretty sure God didn't actually want you to get dysentery, get robbed, and get killed on your grueling trek to Jerusalem to fight some infidels and get a piece of splintered wood that was supposedly stuck into Jesus Christ's side on the cross. But your passion is admirable, crusaders!

The Spanish-American War

Remember the Maine? The brand-new cruiser's deadly explosion in Spanish-controlled Havana harbor was drummed up in the news as the result a hostile attack by the Spaniards. It helped speed America into a war that was more about imperial expansion than self-defense or retribution. And also, the Maine explosion was probably an accident.

The Pastry War

France actually went to war in 1838 to force Mexico to reimburse a French pastry chef whose Mexico City shop was looted in a rebellion a decade earlier. (Also, Mexico had reportedly defaulted on millions in loans from the French.) France's blockade succeeded, the chef's 600,000 peso award was paid, and Mexican general Santa Anna lost a leg to one dumb cause.

Hitler's Invasion of Poland and the start of World War II

We tend to forget about it now, but Germans under Hitler referred to their invasion of Poland as "the 1939 Defensive War," because Hitler said it was self-defense against terrorism. "Germans in Poland are persecuted with a bloody terror and are driven from their homes," he said in his declaration of war. "The series of border violations, which are unbearable to a great power, prove that the Poles no longer are willing to respect the German frontier." By war's end, a larger percentage of Poland's population had been killed than any other nation's—about 16 or 17 percent.

Russia's Invasion of Ukraine

After the pro-Russian president of Ukraine was overthrown by a popular coup this spring, new leaders in Kiev suddenly had to contend with "separatists" and unhappy "residents" of Eastern Ukraine taking local control and declaring their cities to be Russian. There were undeniably local uprisings. There were also Russian agents provocateur drumming up the eastern revolt, and Russian President Vladimir Putin continues to use the well-being of his "countrymen" in Eastern Ukraine as a pretext for a hot-and-cold conflict with Kiev, with sometimes catastrophic results.

Israel-Gaza, 2014

You seem to vaguely remember something about the kidnapping and murder of three Israeli teens two months ago in Hebron, nowhere near Gaza. The Israeli government swiftly blamed Hamas leadership and started rolling up suspects in the West Bank. A Palestinian was kidnapped and killed by Israeli teens in retaliation. Israeli calls for war intensified. IDF air strikes on Gaza began in earnest.

Hamas leaders in Gaza, who insisted they had nothing to do with the initial kidnappings, reportedly went to ground in anticipation of a siege. Rocket fire started emanating from Gaza, though it's unclear how much of it came from freelancers out of Hamas' control. It's also unclear whether Gaza would have been attacked after the kidnappings, rockets or no.

In any case, last week—after roughly 1,000 civilians had been killed amid Israeli shelling in Gaza—Israel acknowledged the kidnappers were a "lone cell" and may not have been acting under Hamas' control, after all. The former editor of the Jewish Daily Forward goes a step further and argues the Israeli government knew that from day one, the abducted teens were dead, and not because Hamas ordered it. He adds that the military and even Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu were reluctant to go to war in Gaza, but by that point, right-wingers in the government and their constituents were demanding it.

Iraq

You know this one by now. What are the liars who saber-rattled on Iraq up to these days, anyway?

The Clone Wars

Ostensibly fought by the Galactic Republic against a rebellion of secessionist planetary systems with droid soldiers, the whole shebang—including the mass-killing of most Jedi knights—was orchestrated by Supreme Chancellor Palpatine, who sowed fear, uncertainty and doubt to gain wartime control over the Republic's Senate and ultimately transform the galaxy into an empire with him at the helm.

The War on Crime

Officially declared by Richard Nixon shortly after entering the Oval Office, this sounded like a great idea. Violent crime rates had risen significantly in the previous decade. But there were basic demographic explanations for that, like the baby boom. And the war on crime was also a hell of a dog-whistle for "law and order" conservatives and Southern Democrats aghast at student unrest, war protests, and LBJ's Great Society. The war never ends, but it still gets invoked whenever a little racial and cultural animus looks like it can sway an election.

Every other war known to mankind, basically

It's possible that conflict is a natural state for humans. But that doesn't mean the conflicts we've chosen have made any kind of sense. The misplaced assumptions that our side can control outcomes, or that we're good and use only good means to achieve good ends, basically mean any war is predicated on deception on some level. But then, most things in life are predicated on deception.

Clearly, this is not a complete list. Help us fill it out with your suggestions in the comments.

[Photo: U.S. Navy]

As government probes into Barclay's abuse of private "dark pool" trading widen to include similar allegations of fraud perpetrated by UBS and Deutsche Bank, the public and lawmakers are demanding to know one thing: What novelty hot sauces induced brokers to let their clients trade in these dangerous venues?

The answer, shockingly, is a tame habanero "hot" sauce dubbed "Hot Liquidity" and branded with the name of Barclay's Liquidity Cross (LX®) "dark pool" trading firm. Not a novelty ghost pepper hot sauce, not an English-bred infinity chili (which would have been exceptionally appropriate for the British financial services company), but a weak-ass habanero.

This disconcerting news arrived from "Too Hot to Fail"—the personal blog of a then-employee of the Denver-based Independence Capital Asset Partners:

The main determinant of how hedge funds allocate their trades between brokers—Anecdotal evidence provided by the low man on the totem pole of an unknown fund not based in NYC

The holiday season at a hedge fund is usually a happy time as an analyst for a couple reasons:

1) Senior people go on vacation for extended periods of time, allowing you to browse youtube and facebook for extended periods of time

2) Bonus season is close and the disappointment from last year has faded over the past 11 months, so you are naive and optimistic about the number

3) and most importantly, the broker gifts start arriving! All year sell-side firms vie for your firm's business, offering research, acess to management teams, execution, etc. But it is a little known fact that none of these matter, and the really only [sic] way to distinguish yourself is through the holiday gift [...] I don't believe any commentary is necessary from me in order to explain how amazing (think +7 std devs) this gift was. Thank you Barclays, get ready for some trades! [emphasis added]

"Hot Liquidity"- Habanero Hot Sauce, gift from the LX Liquidity Cross dark pool (fastest growing dark pool in the US in '10 with 120% growth!). Contact the Barclay's electronic sales desk for hot sauce samples.

When we first reached out to the post's author, via LinkedIn, he failed to answer our questions about the hot sauce, its flavor profile, or mouth feel, but did accept us into his LinkedIn network. Two subsequent requests for comment have also been ignored.

Let's not mince words here: Black Bag is extremely desirous of locating extant bottles of Barclays Capital Liquidity Cross-branded "Hot Liquidity" habanero to run the condiment through rigorous analysis and submit the substance as evidence.

Please send leads to matthew.phelan@gawker.com, and cc: all emails to the office of the New York State Attorney General, Eric Schneiderman, the office currently spearheading the investigation into fraud at Barclays: NYAG.Pressoffice@ag.ny.gov.

Thank you.

[Barclays LX "Hot Liquidity" Habanero Sauce via Too Hot to Fail blog]

Over at The Nation, Katha Pollitt proposes a solution to the ongoing rain of fire, brimstone, rubber and glass that followed the Supreme Court's June decision in Hobby Lobby. Repeal the Religious Freedom Restoration Act, she says, and be done with it. Ayup.

The RFRA, you might recall, is the little piece of peyote-rights-inspired legislation on which the Court relied in Hobby Lobby. The idea was that the government should always have to justify, in the most compelling terms, any infringement on anyone's freedom of religion. It was enacted with the support of a broad coalition of right and left, all the colors of the American democratic rainbow. It was all very noble, then.

Now, 20 years later, it was the RFRA that chiefly gave the Supreme Court the cover of Congressional intent to hold that Christian employers need not contribute a single red cent to subsidize the medical costs of all that whoring around their employees do. And it stands ready to introduce a complicated web of exceptions for the nuttily religious into everyday American life. Trolling Satanists have already leapt into the game.

Pollitt's arguments to repeal it are mainly policy-based. She, like you, simply doesn't think that it makes sense to exempt everyone from everything they don't happen to believe in:

Imagine an anti-vaxxer a few years hence claiming the right not to be informed of the dangers of measles. Same-sex marriage should be legal because a clergyperson wants to perform them? What happens when a Mormon elder or a Muslim imam claims the right to express his faith by performing polygamous marriages? Even if religion were not the basically conservative social force it is in American life, expanding the religious freedom of individuals or corporations is simply not a good way to make public policy.

Yes yes yes, that's all right and fine about the public good. But there is a sneakier, more vindictive reason to like the notion of repealing the RFRA: It would make the conservative wing of the Court squirmingly uncomfortable. And it would do so particularly for one man whose squirming would please us in the SCOTUS-skeptical masses, Justice Antonin Gregory Scalia, who would have to do a 180 on this entire issue. Again.

Scalia joined in the majority decision in Hobby Lobby and didn't it write himself. But his silence seemed somewhat calculated. Scalia had been the one who wrote the majority opinion in Employment Division v. Smith, saying there was no private religious right to use peyote. It was Smith that the RFRA was intended to overturn. And it was in Smith that a certain justice was absolutely 100 percent sure that it would be a disaster to start making religious exemptions for every wannabe apostle in America.

It's hard to tell the difference between Pollitt above, and Scalia's reasoning in Smith (I've removed citations to make this more readable):

Precisely because "we are a cosmopolitan nation made up of people of almost every conceivable religious preference," and precisely because we value and protect that religious divergence, we cannot afford the luxury of deeming presumptively invalid, as applied to the religious objector, every regulation of conduct that does not protect an interest of the highest order. The rule respondents favor would open the prospect of constitutionally required religious exemptions from civic obligations of almost every conceivable kind — ranging from compulsory military service, to the payment of taxes; to health and safety regulation such as manslaughter and child neglect laws, compulsory vaccination laws, drug laws, and traffic laws; to social welfare legislation such as minimum wage laws, child labor laws, animal cruelty laws, environmental protection laws, and laws providing for equality of opportunity for the races.

Send Scalia a postcard with this paragraph pasted on it and "Precedent" on the front the day the RFRA is repealed. He'd be stuck in flypaper of his own making. Congress overturned him, but he embraced the Congressional view of the situation wholeheartedly in Hobby Lobby. Without the RFRA then he'd be forced to go back to his original opinion. He would be flip-flopping.

It's simple, which doesn't mean it's easy. Pollitt's low on the practical matter of, you know, getting enough votes in Congress to repeal the law—but the chance to troll Scalia this hard should at least provide additional passion for those seeking to climb that particular mountain.

[Image via Hobby Lobby.]