Have pity on those who are traveling today: a fire set by an FAA contractor at an air traffic control center in the Chicago suburbs has stopped all traffic at O'Hare and Midway Airports, canceling at least 850 flights.

The airports' statuses as national hubs has made the fire particularly damaging for air travel. Aurora, Ill., police said that the fire was deliberately set by a male contractor working for the FAA, and confirmed that it was not an act of terrorism. The alleged arsonist was found in the facility's basement with apparently self-inflicted injuries, WGN reports, and was taken to a local hospital. Sources told WGN he was "a disgruntled employee" who was upset about a transfer to Hawaii, and that he had not been attempting suicide, but accidentally cut himself.

The Los Angeles Times reports that some flights have resumed, but not many, and many more are expected to be grounded. If you were planning on flying anywhere, check the status of your flight with the airline. It's likely going to be a long weekend.

[Image via AP]

While last night's series premiere of the sleek and sexy legal thriller How To Get Away With Murder as part of the Shonda Rhimes Thursday triple-header gave the network its highest-rated Thursday night in five years, with 14 million viewers at the 10 pm hour alone, the true cause for celebration is much simpler:

Viola Davis won last night.

After years of being reminded of what the New York Times' beacon of obliviousness calls "less than classical beauty," after downtrodden roles rained from the sky, and after having her worth questioned at every turn, a few dozen thousand hundred of us gathered around and celebrated and YAAAASSed at this woman's every utterance and spirited inflection as the belle of a widely feted, highly anticipated primetime show not involving Tyler Perry. 'Twas a great moment.

We sat together on social media and in over-decorated How To Get Away With Murder watch parties and loved on Viola Davis. We fawned over her boundless talent; appreciated her masterful timing and thundering voice; and envied her flawless skin (It's okay. #melanin). We adored her brusque and her despicable. We watched Viola Davis be a person.

Finally. Shit.

Say what you will about the show's writing or pacing, but watching Viola at work is a privilege. She makes sweet magic with any character she steps into. She spins lasting impressions from the most negligible exchanges. She is a gift. And, last night, Viola Davis got the praise she so deserves.

So, the idea of watching her shake off those 2D roles and let her soul glow as Middleton University criminal law professor Annalise Keating each week on the Shondaland Get Money Expressway? Hell yeah. Kindly sign me the fuck up for that.

There has been a murder. We don't know the who/when/why, but the episode opens with four fretting law students (Wes, Michaela, Laurel and Connor) in the woods bickering over how/whether to dispose of this newly deceased person on the ground.

When the story rewinds thee months before the murder, we behold an ever-startled Wes (Alfred Enoch) strolling dreamily into a lecture hall to join the rest of the murderous gang. In blows Annalise Keating with the power of 1001 time-worn educators. The action begins with a case study: the tale of The Aspirin Assassin, in which an advertising agency VP's mistress-assistant has been charged with his attempted murder. ¡Escándalo!

The next morning, prime suspect Gina–as-OITNB's-Morello has her achy breaky heart moment before a room of note-taking students and we learn that the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow contains a job in Keating's lawfirm. We meet her trusty Ethel Mertzes, Frank and Bonnie. Then, the eager minions are dispatched into the world on fact-finding expeditions and the double-crossing and the purposeful fucking begin.

As evidenced elsewhere online, running through every new development in this roller coaster of underhanded fuckery would take four score and 2500 words. The pilot episode is available online, so here are a few reactions and a realization:

• Annalise's icy countenance is golden. Annalise appears annoyed that the people around her aren't as smart as she is. I look forward to more of her inventive put-downs and reluctant tenderness each week.
• After Wes The Zealous lets himself into Annalise's home and barges in on some burly gent on his knees turning mama's cherry out, she admonishes Ethel 1 (Frank) for not rolling up the partition before leaving, and I fell deeper in love with her.

• Speaking of good loving, if you stand up and attempt to teach a bunch of raggedy ass kids all day, you deserve some tongue work at night, at the very minimum. This should be a mandatory thing. For the greater good. Right on, Annalise.

• I saw Michaela's courtroom victory coming from a scene away. After she won her professor's favor by making a major discovery, the gloating undegrand zoomed through her winning lawyerly strategy and the first rapidfire Staircase Shondalogue of the season was born (see also: the Bitch-I-Will-Ruin-Your-Entire-Lineage Shondalogue and the I-Read-You-Because-I-Love-You Shondalogue, among other greatest hits). If it ain't broke…

• There is implied interracial homosexual booty-eating in primetime. Look how far we've come, America.

• Wes' face: yes.

• Annalise is doing the swirl. The instant outrage that onscreen race mixin' produces in 2014 shouldn't be funny, but it is. I observed a collective gasp on Twitter and I cackled. I reckon two important Black male characters (Wes and a Black ass husband)—neither of whom being a drug dealer, an athlete, or an idiot—would have been too much, too soon.

And lastly, the realization: With that type of opening, Shonda's next show will need to have incestuous left-handed lesbian Siamese twins to keep this pace up.

Morning After is a new home for television discussion online, brought to you by Gawker. Follow @GawkerMA and read more about it here.

Yesterday, the district attorneys from San Francisco and Los Angeles sent letters to Uber, Lyft, and Sidecar threatening potential legal action, including an injunction to their service unless they make "major changes" regarding background checks and pricing. So where's the usual bombast and bluster about antiquated laws and taxi cartels?

Uber and Lyft have responded quickly to crackdowns in New York and Washington D.C. before, rallying investors, loyal users, and even celebrities to the sharing economy cause. But there's nothing on the Uber or Lyft blogs, which both had new posts this week, or their Twitter accounts. There's not even a multi-part venture capitalist invective. I couldn't even find a self-righteous subtweet from the usual suspects.

Incumbents see an opportunity and ask, "how can we solve this with what we have?" New entrants see one and ask, "how should this be solved?"

— Aaron Levie (@levie) September 21, 2014

So why not protest on their home turf? I've reached out to both companies and will update if we hear back. But it might be because district attorneys' demands sound fairly reasonable.

The San Francisco Chronicle reports:

The district attorneys told all three companies that they misled customers by claiming their background checks of drivers screen out anyone who has committed driving violations, including DUIs, as well as sexual assault and other criminal offenses. The district attorneys say that's patently untrue.

[District Attorney George] Gascón in June charged Uber driver Daveea Whitmire, 28, of striking a passenger. He had passed the company's background check, but court records showed he had previously been convicted of felony drug dealing and misdemeanor battery.

Gascón wants the companies to remove all statements from their mobile apps, websites and other publications that imply their background checks reveal drivers' complete criminal history.

The district attorneys also told all three companies that their new shared ride service fares — in which individuals going the same way can hop in a car and pay their fares separately — are calculated in a way that violates state law. Gascón wants the shared-ride payment features removed from the companies' offerings.

According to the Wall Street Journal:

"We want to make sure that there is sufficient insurance to protect the public," Mr. Gascon told San Francisco television broadcaster KCBS at the time.

So far, Sidecar CEO Sunil Paul is the only one reprimanding the regulators:

Sunil Paul, chief executive of Sidecar, said he has discussed the issue of background checks with local regulators, but the threat of injunction came as a surprise and represented a "significant escalation" of their concerns.

"We're frankly disappointed and a little baffled that there would be all of this pushback," Mr. Paul said.

If Sidecar has been talking to California regulators, Uber and Lyft likely have been too. Perhaps they have some amazing astroturfing campaign ahead of us, or maybe they realized that a quiet period doesn't just have to be pre-IPO

To contact the author of this post, please email nitasha@gawker.com.

[Image via Getty]

The clip above is from Glena, a documentary about a single mother in her mid-30's whose goal is to be a professional MMA fighter. The movie, which premiered on Showtime last night, explored what it means to follow one's dream while negotiating parental responsibility. Is Glena "Heartless" Avila selfish for undergoing the virtually nonstop training necessary to fight on a professional level, as it cuts into her time with her kids, or would sharing the benefits of such a career ultimately make it all worth it? How much of yourself do you give up for your kids, and is it really in their best interest to do so? Without firm answers, these are the questions that the movie probed.

"This is my last chance to do something and I'll never forgive myself if I don't at least try," said Avila.

The scene above is a great example of the strain undergoes for the sake of her potential career — she has to lose 1 lb., to get down to fighting weight. This is a typical struggle for athletes whose competitive qualification is based on their weight. However, at 36, Avila is not your typical athlete and this scene was suspenseful all the same. Also, she really looks like Chelsea Handler.

It was, he would later tell a confidant, like something out of The Godfather. Bill Simmons was meeting with two of the most powerful executives at ESPN, John Skipper and John Walsh, in a conference room in ESPN's then-unfinished Los Angeles office hard by the Staples Center. Within three years, this would be the Grantland office and thus the seat of Simmons's power, but on this day he was feeling vulnerable, having spent much of 2008 in a sulk over one thing or another, whipsawed between his own petulance and his company's prudishness. He'd had a run-in with Skipper a few months earlier. The then-VP had gotten uncharacteristically tetchy with him over some intramural sniping at ESPN's newest big-ticket hire, Rick Reilly. Would the Sports Guy even have his job when he left the conference room in Los Angeles?

Simmons decided to lay everything out on the table, according to a source. His big complaint was over his weekly ESPN.com column. His editor worked on West Coast time, and the column, filed on Thursday night, wouldn't hit the web until Friday afternoon, squandering hours of potential traffic. As Simmons saw it, according to the source, Skipper and Walsh were taken aback; they'd had no idea, and the meeting ended with the two of them promising to set things right.

It brought a peaceful conclusion to what was Simmons's most fractious year at the company, and it seemed to confirm two central truths about Bristol: that the Disney property had grown so unwieldy that it could engage in open conflict with one of its most valuable talents without the people running the shop having any idea why; and that John Skipper, who would become president of ESPN in 2012, could be counted on to see things from his star's perspective.

Six years later—with Simmons again on the sidelines, having been suspended three weeks without pay for restating conventional wisdom about NFL commissioner Roger Goodell on his podcast in a mildly profane manner and daring his bosses to punish him for it—only one of those things could reasonably be said to be true.

In the ESPN oral history Those Guys Have All the Fun, Simmons describes a certain type of employee who has problems with ESPN: "Very impassioned almost to a fault, and we just can't believe ESPN works this way, and why can't it work better, and it's just like we're a bad match for a company like that, and I think that's why a lot of those people have left."

It's easy to read this as Simmons describing himself, and equally easy to understand disbelief at the way ESPN works. All through 2008, in the months leading up to his meeting with Skipper and Walsh, Simmons was, from his perspective, faced with a nearly uninterrupted series of provocations and insults.

In spring of of that year, the network nixed Simmons's scheduled podcast with then-presidential candidate Barack Obama, canceling it "at the last minute." The official line was that ESPN didn't do politics; Simmons strongly chafed at that and, privately, at apolitical references to current events being taken out of his columns. At the same time, Simmons was taking public shots from Rick Reilly, who disparaged his colleague as a "blogger" who needed "a Lincoln Continental, if not a Greyhound bus, full of editors." Simmons complained to higher-ups that Reilly's inferior work was getting ESPN's top real estate, both online and on the back page of ESPN The Magazine.

Fed up, Simmons gave an interview to Deadspin in which he was surprisingly critical of ESPN:

I still love writing my column and only re-signed last year because I really did believe that we had hashed out all the behind the scenes bullshit and come to some sort of agreement on creative lines, media criticism rules, the promotion of the column and everything else on ESPN.com. Within a few months, all of those things changed and certain promises were not kept.

A week later, he published an old article on his personal site, introducing it as coming from a time when "my column was starting to resemble what it's like now, only if nobody was killing five of the best jokes or making me re-write them so they weren't as funny."

Bristol allowed the jabs to pass. Then Simmons gave an interview on Boston radio, in which he mock-earnestly praised Rick Reilly and his heartwarming tales of the triumph of the human spirit. It was Simmons's first public mention of Reilly after absorbing multiple shots, but it was the breaking point for John Skipper, who gave Simmons a dressing-down.

Simmons has never made any secret of his love for Skipper, who like John Walsh has long been the columnist's rabbi and his champion in Bristol. He'd never seen Skipper angry before, and the confrontation surprised Simmons. Rather than quit or accept a suspension, which he'd believed was coming, Simmons proposed time off to work on his book and to clear the air.

This didn't entirely work. When he returned in September, according to a source, Simmons felt the atmosphere was even more uptight. One of his weekly NFL columns simply never ran on ESPN.com, under circumstances that remain unclear. Simmons said he turned it on time; an ESPN statement called it an "editorial decision."

Around this time, ESPN also forced him to kick porn actors out of his private fantasy basketball league. Finally, in November, Simmons again went public. (His understandable frustration over ESPN allowing Rick Reilly to interview Barack Obama couldn't have helped.)

First, he made a reference to the porn-actor ban on his podcast—which ESPN promptly edited out of the show before it went online. Then, Simmons quit his podcast in a protest that would last until mid-December, the impetus for his meeting with Skipper and Walsh in Los Angeles.

Things would improve, but the basic terms of the conflict had been established, and they evidently remain in place to this day: The bigger Simmons gets, the more he sees his prerogatives as falling out of plumb with those of the growing Disney property that employs him. Sure, Simmons wasn't and isn't fighting for anything nobler than the right to make gay jokes on his podcast, and, sure, you can understand a little why ESPNers might roll their eyes whenever the company's most overindulged employee starts flinging shit from his throne in Los Angeles. But that doesn't change the nature of the conflict. Simmons became one of the most powerful actors in American media by saying what was on his mind, and the corporation that facilitated that rise now would prefer he not do so.

In February 2009, Simmons went on buddy Adam Carolla's podcast and told some entirely harmless dirty jokes. That led to a mess that involved Carolla claiming ESPN had banned Simmons from appearing on the show again, Simmons denying the ban, and ESPN memory-holing part of a livechat in which Simmons's denial was questioned.

In October 2009, Simmons appeared on an episode of Kenny Mayne's web series Mayne Street. The gag was that Simmons's regular-guy persona was a total fraud, covering his actual decadent lifestyle and preposterously garish mansion. In the original version of the spot, Simmons lounges by a pool with two bikini-clad women. As he gets up to leave, one of the women asks him if they should make out while he's gone. Simmons says to her, "You read my mind," and then tells her to fill up the mud pit.

At least one person in Bristol didn't find the video very funny. A week before, ESPN had suspended Steve Phillips for having an affair with a 22-year-old production assistant that turned into a stalking situation, and someone, perhaps even an executive, thought the Mayne Street episode was inappropriate in light of that particular mess. In Simmons's telling, according to a source, the matter went before a committee, with ESPN executives holding a vote on whether the lines were funny or offensive; Simmons was told the vote was nearly unanimous. The episode was quietly taken down, with an edited version, minus the faux-lesbianism and mud pit, soon being posted in its place.

Simmons has likened this "censorship by committee" to his short-lived Sports Guy web cartoon, a dozen episodes or so of which aired beginning in 2004. The script for one, dealing with steroids in baseball, featured Barry Bonds's head swelling until he turned into a giant Godzilla-like monster, breathing fire and destroying a stadium. It had been written and animated, but someone within ESPN felt the Godzilla parody was racist. That part was cut out of the final piece.

There were more issues with the podcast, too. On an episode in the summer of 2009, Simmons made a comment that didn't reach his bosses' radar until months later. This time his nemesis was ESPN VP Norby Williamson. From Those Guys Have All the Fun:

I had made some sort of joke like, 'Note to soccer: if you want people to think you're a little less gay, don't call exhibition games friendlies.' And we joked about it and moved on. So this guy or this girl— I don't know if it was a male or female—hears this and flips out and sends an e-mail to Norby that I gay-bashed on the podcast.

Simmons said the attention from Williamson led to stricter standards for the podcast after that.

[T]hey start cracking down. So I ask Super Dave Osborne. He finishes the podcast I do with him. He tells this joke about— it's a little off-color. They take it out. Little do they know he told the same joke on Conan O'Brien four days before, and it stayed in. So I'm like, "Now you're telling me I don't have as much leeway as an 11:30 late-night show on NBC? I have less leeway than that for a podcast with a fucking disclaimer on it?

In October 2009, Simmons appeared on the radio with WEEI, which months earlier had become an ESPN radio affiliate. The interview didn't go well—Simmons believed the hosts went after him because he had publicly praised competing station WBZ—and WEEI hosts continued to criticize him in the days and weeks afterward, going so far as to name him their "Fraud of the Week."

On Nov. 10, WEEI announced that Simmons had backed out of a scheduled interview. (Simmons claimed ESPN.com editor-in-chief Rob King had told him not to go on.) So Simmons went on the air with WBZ instead, and tweeted:

Hey WEEI: You were wrong, I did a Boston interview today. With your competition. Rather give them ratings over deceitful scumbags like you.

"I kept waiting for ESPN Radio to handle its 'partner' and it didn't," Simmons said of the tweet. "I ended up handling things for myself, and poorly."

Years later, in Those Guys Have All The Fun, Simmons went further:

To be honest , I knew the "deceitful scumbag" posting would cause a splash, and I did it intentionally. That's the same reason I went on the rival radio show. My attitude was, You guys aren't handling this. You have let this fester and it's become a real issue in Boston with these guys killing me for two weeks. I have a thick skin, and I'm totally used to getting killed by people, but this is our alleged partner, and they have on their website that I'm the fraud of the week, and you guys have done nothing. I escalated things intentionally to make them look at it and have meetings about it and fucking waste their day. That made me happy.

What happened next isn't exactly clear. Simmons's version of events is that he was never officially told he was suspended from Twitter for his tweet bashing WEEI—only that Rob King had asked him to take two weeks off, and that he had agreed. But when Simmons's absence was noted, King wrote a blog post confirming it and calling it a "suspension." Privately, Simmons chafed at the notion that ESPN had any right to suspend him from Twitter, telling people he interpreted it as a final warning: don't tweet or we'll actually suspend you. Either way, the timing made Simmons furious. His Book of Basketball had just come out, and he viewed Twitter as a huge promotional tool he was being denied.

Money and the promise of autonomy smoothed things over, as they often do. In the spring of 2010, Simmons re-upped with ESPN with a multi-million dollar contract that also included an agreement to finance what would eventually become Grantland. When asked how he convinced ESPN to fund his site, Simmons explained, "I would have done it with somebody else."

And things were very good between Simmons and ESPN for a long time. (Bill even eventually got his interview with Barack Obama.) In interviews with the authors of Those Guys Have All The Fun, he was critical of colleagues including Chris Berman, Mike Tirico, and Mike Greenberg, and he wasn't called to the carpet for it—at least not publicly.

Occasionally, though, the old conflict surfaced. It was as if Simmons, increasingly well-entrenched as ESPN's face—not just a columnist and podcaster, but an editor of Grantland, producer of the 30 For 30 series, broadcaster on NBA games, and, functionally, a member of management—periodically needed to remind the public that he wasn't really of ESPN.

In March 2013, Richard Sherman ruthlessly mocked Skip Bayless on an especially inane episode of First Take. It was—well, as Simmons would tweet that night, "awful and embarrassing." ESPN suspended Simmons from using Twitter for the rest of the week. In June of that year, Simmons worked the NBA Countdown desk at the Finals and made a joke about Dwyane Wade heading to Germany for blood-spinning treatments. A later airing of the show edited the joke out, leading Simmons to complain on Twitter and take a shot at Stephen A. Smith at the same time.

Then, before this past season, Michael Wilbon was hustled off Countdown in a sign of Simmons's growing influence over the show, resulting in Magic Johnson leaving the network altogether. Even Simmons's denial hinted at tensions within Bristol. He claimed in a Nixonian response to SI.com's Richard Deitsch that the Deadspin story about the power war was fake and had been planted by somebody at ESPN to make him look bad, neither of which was true.

All of this is the context for what finally came this week—Simmons's three-week, unpaid suspension from all ESPN platforms, plus Twitter, for his podcast comments accusing Roger Goodell of lying and, especially, for daring ESPN to punish him.

What Simmons said was, in itself, harmless. Roger Goodell is a liar, as more or less everyone in sports media had said long before Simmons took to his podcast to wonder why no one was saying it. Simmons being Simmons, his "it's such fucking bullshit" was presented in the spirit of bold truth-telling. Daring ESPN to suspend him came off as an adolescent tantrum, if not a non sequitur. Bristol being Bristol, it wasn't taken that way.

As SportsBusiness Daily's John Ourand and ESPN ombudsman Robert Lipsyte have reported, Simmons's dare was, comically, taken as a legitimate challenge to corporate authority. This—along with, presumably, his history of mild insubordination—is what earned him a three-week suspension, out of all proportion to what other ESPN offenders have gotten.

More than that, though, the significance of the suspension lies in where it comes from. Both Ourand and Lipsyte, along with SI.com's Deitsch, trace it directly to John Skipper. In all these stories, Walsh's name is nowhere to be found. He apparently wasn't involved.

Simmons has always divided the ESPN suits into the good cops and the bad cops. The latter has included the likes of former ESPN president George Bodenheimer (he said in Those Guys:"[T]hey're willing to look the other way unless it ends up in the SportsBusiness Journal—if it gets in there, they know George is going to see it") and Norby Williamson (whom Simmons has likened in private to The Godfather's traitor, Salvatore Tessio).

In Simmons's reading, John Walsh and especially John Skipper have always been in his corner. In nearly every previous clash with ESPN, Skipper has played the benevolent father figure, protecting him from the petty tyrants elsewhere in the company and giving him implicit free rein to keep doing what he does.

"Skipper has been my boss," Simmons said in Those Guys, "and really, anything I've wanted to—other than interview Obama for the podcast—I've been able to do. They've never stood in my way, they've always tried to make things happen, and they're always asking how to figure out how to do what I do under some of the constraints that we have."

That isn't the case now. Skipper isn't merely yielding to a corporate culture that sees Simmons as the beneficiary of an unfair double standard. According to Lipsyte, he sees the situation as involving a question of character: "Simmons, Skipper believes, is transitioning into an important influence and mentor at Grantland, and needs to leave his well-worn punkishness behind." While Simmons may be contemptuous of ESPN discipline, he's unlikely to dismiss it as mere pettifoggery from ESPN tightasses when it comes from the executive he trusts the most, without any intervention from his other rabbi, John Walsh. And this isn't happening in a vacuum: Simmons's contract is up next year.

Would he actually consider leaving?

"I don't know if the company is designed for people like me," Simmons said around the time he signed his last contract, "but we'll figure something out. It'd be a whole lot easier for me if I didn't love Skipper and Walsh. If that dynamic was removed, it would be cut-and-dried, and I would leave."

Dave McKenna, Tim Marchman, and Tommy Craggs contributed to this report. Top image by Jim Cooke.

David Dewhurst is the lieutenant governor of Texas. Lieutenant is such an emasculating word! He'd rather be a commandante, the kind who'll take care of those prayer rugs ISIS illegals are leaving on the Mexican border, which totally exist and weren't debunked by yours truly two months ago.

Via TPM:

Texas Lt. Gov. David Dewhurst (R) warned that "prayer rugs" have been found on the Texas side of the Mexican-Texas border and suggested that states have both an obligation and a right to act independently of the government on border security.

"Prayer rugs have recently been found on the Texas side of the border in the brush," Dewhurst said during a speech Friday at the Values Voter Summit, echoing a claim reported on Breitbart...

Yes, a claim on Breitbart, which has really gone above and beyond in its cultural verminization of non-U.S. immigrants this year. But the Breitbart claim is important, because it came with eyewitness quotes and a photograph of said prayer rug. Solid evidence. Very solid.

So solid, in fact, I parsed this evidence back in July:

1. Here we see a waist hemline on the Muslim prayer rug.

2. This would be a sleeve opening on the Muslim prayer rug, just above the diamond-hatch red-and-white pattern so popular among lower-tier football clubs and militant Muslim prayer-rug salesmen.

3. Islamic scholars and Arsenal fans will immediately recognize "die marke mit den 3 streifen" here on the Muslim prayer rug.

Clearly, values voters don't value truth so much.

Let's pretend for a moment that Dewhurst—and fellow Colorado Republican lunatic also-ran Tom Tancredo—weren't parroting absurd xenophobic lies that had been publicly and demonstrably proven false less than 100 days ago. Let's fantasize that they had, in fact, clear proof of the existence of a "prayer rug" on the Mexican border.

Now, what could be the significance of a prayer rug found on the Mexican border? Christians and Jews don't use 'em! But we've all seen movies where Muslims do their kneeling-to-Mecca jihad thing. So, clearly, these are jihadis stopping on their over-the-unsecured-border treks, doing their ablutions and prayers, and of course leaving the evidence, because that's what terrorist masterminds do.

But hey, that's not completely insane. Not compared to the other lies Breitbart's "prayer rug" sources had pooped into the toilet of Inner America's id back in that July report:

The same contractor told Breitbart News last week that six Special Interest Aliens (SIA's) from Afghanistan, Iraq, and Yemen were picked up by U.S. border patrol near Laredo, Texas. Each one had 60,000 Iraqi Dinars ($51.00) apiece on them.

Seriously, there are ambitious politicians in America helping to run some of our largest states who buy into conspiracies like the Glorious Jihad of the Six Guys Who Were Just Here, Really, and Totally Had Like 51 Bucks in Iraqi Play-Money on Them. It's still amazing to me that these dim fuggles will buy that, but the idea of manmade global warming is just crazy, man.

[Photo credit: AP]

Details surrounding George Clooney and his fiancee Amal Alamuddin's upcoming wedding in Venice, Italy have been released and—even for the most wedding-fatigued among us—(me)—it sounds like it's going to be fun and fancy. We should go!

US Weekly reports most of the wedding weekend's festivities will take place at Venice's five-star Hotel Cipriani, which is currently being "transformed into a romantic idyll" for tonight's rehearsal dinner. Helping complete the transformation are, reportedly, crystal chandeliers and "lavish place settings," whatever that means. (Place settings made out of salt water fish tanks and Creme de la Mer?) This is the hotel:

Looks nice!

Us reports Matt Damon and his wife Luciana Barroso, Cindy Crawford, and Bono are some of the Known People expected to arrive in Venice today with George and Amal.

Saturday morning, guests will take showers (I assume), get ready, and have breakfast at the hotel—probably better than it sounds—before being taken by boat to Aman Canal Grande, shown below, for the ceremony. Former Rome mayor Walter Veltroni will reportedly officiate.

People reports Giorgio Armani has confirmed he will dress George for the ceremony, though there have been no confirmations about who will dress Amal.

After the ceremony, guests will celebrate with a five-course meal from Italian chef Riccardo de Pra before heading back to the Cipriani for drinks and fireworks around the pool.

A source spoke to Us about how excited everyone was, saying:

"Everyone is very excited. It's going to be quite the party."

It sounds like it! The source continued:

"There is a lot of celebrating planned. They will be serving the tequila at a couple of the parties!"

Oh!

Unfortunately, the source did not elaborate on "the tequila."

[images via Getty]

Well, here's something you don't see too often. The Storm Prediction Center has issued a slight risk for severe weather across parts of the desert southwest—including Las Vegas and surroundings—for the chance of tornadoes, 60+ MPH wind gusts, and hail larger than quarters.

Severe weather isn't all that uncommon in the southwestern United States, but this is unusual because it includes an unusually high risk for tornadoes.

Why is this happening?

Southerly winds are shoving a pocket of warm, moist air north from the Gulf of California into parts of the southwestern United States, giving the atmosphere enough moisture and instability necessary to support thunderstorm activity. The above map shows the predicted dew points from this morning's run of the NAM valid for this afternoon.

Remember that beautiful low pressure system that's brought parts of the West Coast some much-needed rain? That deep trough is also producing some pretty hefty wind shear that's approaching the southwest. Winds up in the jet stream (about 30k feet up) are greater than 70 MPH in some spots. Add in the fact that the winds are ever so slightly veering (twisting) with altitude, and it will allow the thunderstorms to strengthen and reach severe levels.

What are the risks?

According to the SPC, all modes of severe weather are possible today.

The above map shows the risk for tornadoes this afternoon. 5% warrants concern anywhere in the country, so it's worth paying close attention today for residents in and around Las Vegas. Clark County, Nevada has reported just one tornado in the past ten years, showing how rare they are in this region. Tornadoes need ample low-level moisture in order to develop, and that's one ingredient that's normally in short supply around these parts...except for today.

Here's the risk for damaging winds today, which are the most common type of severe weather in the southwest. The risk for large hail (quarter size or larger) is roughly the same.

What about tomorrow?

The threat for severe weather shifts east tomorrow, threatening Phoenix, Prescott, and Flagstaff with the same hazards as today—tornadoes, large hail, and damaging winds.

Tornado Safety Tips

Homes and buildings in these areas don't have basements, so the typical tornado safety tip of "get underground" does local residents no good. If your location goes under a tornado warning, you'll want to get to the lowest level of your house/building and find an interior room that puts as many walls between you and the outdoors as possible. Many homes have a closet or bathroom on the first floor in the middle of the house.

Even a weak tornado is dangerous—60 to 80 MPH winds don't sound too bad until it picks up debris and throws it at you at those speeds. If you're in a vehicle and a tornado warning is issued, try to get to a sturdy building nearby and ride it out inside. Tornadoes can pick up and toss cars with relative ease, so they're not safe places to ride a storm out.

The Storm Prediction Center issues severe thunderstorm and tornado watches, while local National Weather Service offices handle urgent warnings. Stay tuned to local weather sources today and tomorrow, and keep an eye on the radar.

[severe weather maps by the author, model image via WeatherBELL]

You can follow the author on Twitter or send him an email.

Americans for Prosperity stands for free markets and liberty and against Kenyan socialism and voter fraud. That's why it's so important to AFP to make sure that you and your cat are ready to vote in North Carolina next month.

Among AFP's many conservative causes, the Koch brothers-funded group claims to be concerned about the integrity of the American voting process, watchdogging liberal voter drives and saying it "will not tolerate those who would cheapen the vote." But according to the Raleigh News & Observer, AFP's North Carolina office just sent "hundreds of North Carolinians—and one cat" a voter-registration guide riddled with errors:

The information – an "official application form" – was sent by Americans for Prosperity, a national conservative group with a state chapter based in Raleigh.

Since then, hundreds of people who received the forms have called and complained to the State Board of Elections, said Joshua Lawson, a public information officer for the board.

"It's unclear where (Americans for Prosperity) got their list, but it's caused a lot of confusion for people in the state," Lawson said.

One resident even received a voter registration form addressed to her cat, he said.

Among other errors, the forms apparently instructed registrants to mail completed forms to a state office, complete with the wrong address for that state office. But registration forms are supposed to go to an applicant's county board of elections. AFP's "official" forms also listed the wrong deadline to get registered in time for November's election. That deadline, according to North Carolina officials, is actually Oct. 10.

Was AFP trying wholeheartedly but stupidly to get folks registered, or was it deliberately misinforming residents to screw up their chances to turn out on Election Day? Some recipients are wondering:

Alison Beal of Wake Forest received one of the forms at her home, but it was addressed to her brother-in-law, who lives in Caldwell County. Beal is not a member of Americans for Prosperity and says her brother-in-law would not be a member either...

Beal said she thinks the false information could be an honest mistake but said it could also deter people from registering.

"It seems like something you would want to pay attention for, if you really want to get people to register to vote," Beal said.

She added: "People don't really know—they assume what they get in the mail is true." And I assume that cat was a socialist who would have voted for Mao, given the chance.

[Photo illustration: Shutterstock]

A Walmart security guard in Nashville, Tennessee shot a man last night who was allegedly trying to steal a case of beer. According to WSMV, police are now investigating whether or not the guard was "justified in using his weapon." The guard hit the man in the back.

WKRN describes the incident like this:

The security guard was patrolling the parking lot when he confronted the suspect as he was getting into a car.

Shots were fired by the security guard into the car as it began to drive away.

The suspect was shot once in the back. ... A female passenger in the car was unharmed.

The man is in serious but not life-threatening condition at Skyline hospital. WKRN reports he drove himself straight to the hospital.

[Photo via WSMV]

The fourth season of Scandal premiered last night, finally answering ABC's summer-long teaser that nobody was particularly on the edge of their seat about: Where on earth is Olivia Pope?

When we last saw her, Olivia Pope had flown the coop like the Inkwell-filtered Carmen Sandiego she essentially is. Season Three ended with Olivia realizing that she was more or less the reason why everything in America was going to hell. She was the eye of the storm, the titular Scandal, and decided to permanently extract herself from the situation. An egotistical assessment but not one without merit considering that she was the president's mistress/ campaign runner as well as the improbable spawn of an international terrorist and the head of B-613 (dark Secret services).

So, where on earth was Olivia Pope? Drinking expensive wine and f-cking on a desert island, as it turns out. We were left wondering what might possibly bring her back to DC and mercifully, it wasn't Fitz's soulful gaze but rather some behind-the-scene house cleaning.

Choosing to mourn Harrison's off-screen(ish) removal instead of sweeping it under the rug—Remember Irish guy?—lends weight to Olivia's return. And more importantly, for the first time in three seasons, Fitz isn't her first stop. In fact, Rhimes goes through great pains to establish a "detente of the D" between the two characters, focusing instead on a supporting cast too often relegated to exposition montage voice-over.

Some shows are concerned with giving their supporting characters the illusion of full-fledged existence away from their lead. Scandal is not that show. Even Harrison's backstory is expunged at his sparsely attended funeral, leaving him as an orphan with no life or family beyond Pope & Associates. Without Olivia around, the Scandal supporting players have been in full narrative pout, twiddling their thumbs in wait of a worthy monologue exchange. Luckily for them, Olivia spends a good half of the premiere giving each of them exactly that.

The only exception is Abby, now settling in as Press Secretary at the White House and looking to make herself known as something more than "the redhead," both professionally and to the audience. Considering that she gave Olivia her most interesting exchange of the episode, this might just be Abby's breakout season.

Elsewhere, the election might be won but Fitz's campaign to become a likable character is hitting the ground running. Still, even the trifecta of political earnestness, parental grief, and suicidal tendencies can't fully bring me to Fitz's corner yet. You're still kind of a dick, guy. Much more interesting in her grief is First Lady Mellie.

After a few glimpses in past seasons, we can now look ahead to a semi-permanently drunk, and by her own admission full-bushed, Mellie. No one can turn from vicious to miserable on a dime like Bellamy Young and her laundry list now includes a dead kid, a ubiquitous mistress, a rape, and Fitz's suicide attempt.

America's first couple is in full Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf mode and knowing Scandal, there certainly won't be a shortage of fresh graves for Mellie to rub herself against. The First Lady also gets the monologue of the week with her borderline Broadway musical rendition of "When you see her, you will tell me." (With bonus Shonda points for beginning and ending with the same sentence.)

Oh, and we were also introduced to Portia De Rossi as a... recurring GOP presence, I think. Despite being a fan, De Rossi suffers from having to share the screen with my new favorite character, Cyrus' hair, which unfortunately reduced her to a low-buzzing noise in a smart suit. I'm hoping she interacts with someone else next week so I can pay closer attention. For now, she's unhappy with Fitz's renewed political fervor and—my god, Cyrus' hair, people.

Scandal was always the procedural that wasn't. For every case-of-the-week episode, there are always three to five looming subplots racing towards the mid-season and season finales. The season four premiere is refreshingly light on that front; no B-613, no elections, no Defiance, and no Operation Remington. With a full season order and one less "gladiator" crowding the field, the only promise made here seems to be a respite from the Fitz & Olivia Codependency Hour and every cast member is the better for it.

Morning After is a new home for television discussion online, brought to you by Gawker. Follow @GawkerMA and read more about it here.

Simple people often gape at commentators on their television sets as a monkey might gaze in awe at a Teddy Ruxpin doll. The wise man, meanwhile, studies cassette tapes; data blogs; things of that nature.

The koan: "Open Your Own Treasure House"

Daiju visited the master Baso in China. Baso asked: "What do you seek?"

"Enlightenment," replied Daiju.

"You have your own treasure house. Why do you search outside?" Baso asked.

Daiju inquired: "Where is my treasure house?"

Baso answered: "What you are asking is your treasure house."

Daiju was enlightened! Ever after he urged his friends: "Open your own treasure house and use those treasures."

The enlightenment: When Daiju's friends asked him, as he had asked the master, "Where is my treasure house?" Daiju told them, "It's in Cancun, Mexico. Or maybe it's in Vail, Colorado. Or perhaps it's in Aruba. It can be all these places and more. How? Through our simple and affordable vacation ownership plan. It's not a 'time share'—it's a chance to be a part of something that can pay off for a lifetime. When it comes to vacation planning, it can be hard to find a vacation that fits your family. Whether it's the toddlers, the twins, the teenagers or extended family, it can be a squeeze. Vacation ownership offers you a better vacation experience, including greater value, more choices, and maximum comfort. Take a look at what we have to offer."

Eventually, Daiju grew rich enough to build an entire house, out of treasure.

This has been "Zen Koans Explained." A leaf blower facing into the hurricane.

[Photo: Shutterstock]

What happens when you combine two dying '90s internet relics into one conglomerate of uselessness? According an activist investor at Starboard Value, a proposed merger of Yahoo and AOL could see "significant appreciation" in Yahoo's stock price and the revitalization of both brands. How exciting!

Instructions to acquire the dial-up dinosaur came in an open letter from a firm with a "significant stake" in Yahoo, sent to company CEO Marissa Mayer:

Based on our analysis, we believe that a combination of Yahoo and AOL could offer synergies of up to $1 billion by significantly reducing the cost overlaps in their Display advertising businesses as well as synergies in corporate overhead. Importantly, we believe the combined entity would be able to more successfully navigate the ongoing industry changes, such as the growth of programmatic advertising and migration to mobile. In addition, we believe a combination could also lead to revenue growth opportunities given the broader user base, higher quality content, better technology assets, and enhanced relationships with advertising agencies.

Effectively, Starboard is saying the two companies could merge their competing products and layoff all the redundant employees. Plus, Yahoo would have the added benefit of getting "higher quality content" from AOL's content sweatshops to splash across their homepage.

Starboard also issued a few more recommendations. The firm asked Yahoo to reduce expenses by "$250 and $500 million" (more layoffs, presumably) and to stop spending millions buying up money-losing startups.

"Yahoo's recent strategy of focusing on acquisitions has not worked," Starboard writes.

The $1.3 billion spent on acquisitions has clearly not delivered value to shareholders. Not only do we believe that many of the acquired companies were, and still are, losing a considerable amount of money, but we also believe that these acquisitions, on a combined basis, have failed to deliver material revenue growth. In fact, we believe that a number of the acquired start-ups have actually been shut down after being acquired by Yahoo.

If Yahoo doesn't get its act together, they can at least go back to building parking lots.

To contact the author of this post, please email kevin@valleywag.com.

Photo: AP, h/t Wall Street Journal

Not much to this story, but it's Friday afternoon, so enjoy: Walter Earl Morrison, 20, allegedly stole a $160,000 diamond from a UPS cargo plane in Phoenix, Ariz., then traded it for a $20 bag of weed.

That's it, pretty much! What a dummy! Morrisson, a former UPS employee, was working on the tarmac at Sky Harbor Airport when he swiped the jewel. He was arrested and fired from his job, and the diamond was returned to its intended recipient.

The local ABC outlet, in an effort to pad out the story, interviewed a local diamond-seller about the stone. His analysis: "Any single stone over $100,000 is an expensive stone," and trading one such stone for a gram or two of pot is "not a good deal." Hmm.

[h/t Desus]

Hi. We're the staff of Gawker, and we're hanging out in the comments, answering questions.

For a third time, a prominent venture capitalist is warning us all that some sort of ominous economic shit is about to go down. And for the third time in a row, he isn't admitting that it's his fault: Today's hypocrite is Marc Andreessen.

As is always the case when Marc Andreessen has a thought about anything, his recent opinion on market zeal took the form of an 18 part Twitter rant. The New York Times, among other credulous publications, picked it up in earnest. In the tweet stream, the shimmering dome-clarion barks warnings—an economic event is heading our way:

3/New founders in last 10 years have ONLY been in environment where money is always easy to raise at higher valuations. THAT WILL NOT LAST.

— Marc Andreessen (@pmarca) September 25, 2014

4/When the market turns, and it will turn, we will find out who has been swimming without trunks on: many high burn rate co's will VAPORIZE.

— Marc Andreessen (@pmarca) September 25, 2014

9/Fourth: Lots of people, big shiny office, high expense base = Fake "we've made it!" feeling. Removes pressure to deliver real results.

— Marc Andreessen (@pmarca) September 25, 2014

18/Worry.

— Marc Andreessen (@pmarca) September 25, 2014

Andreessen is completely right: Startups are overvalued, stuffed like Christmas ducks with cash they don't really need, and since they're staffed by inexperienced kids with no oversight, they're spending that cash. This is a big problem, a big and obvious problem, and Marc Andreessen is right: We should worry.

But what he's not saying is that all of these worrisome things are happening because he has made them happen. Marc Andreessen is warning us, essentially, about Marc Andreessen. It's not a good sign when a man, no matter how large it would appear his brain is, tries to distance himself from his current agenda.

Marc Andreessen, Twitter pundit, is an authority on startup prudence. Marc Andreessen, venture capitalist, funded Clinkle.

Andreessen urges financial caution? One of his portfolio companies uploaded this GIF:

That's the co-founder of Genius, né Rap Genius, an Andreessen Horowitz investment that does not generate revenue.

How many of Andreessen's portfolio companies are practicing what he tweets? He is right to try to put a kibosh on the culture of manic optimism and careless spending that's soaked through Silicon Valley like gasoline. One way to do that is to stop giving people millions upon millions of dollars to waste.

When the next downturn happens, Andreessen and friends will be eager to point back at these tweets and say I told you so. They'll be in less of a hurry to point to their own work and say, We made this happen.

Last night, a Brooklyn-based literary blogger/podcaster/personality named Edward Champion suddenly began attacking the novelist Porochista Khakpour on Twitter, after Khakpour tweeted about Champion’s private threats against her. Before the night was over, Champion had been kicked off Twitter, and several other writers and literary agents had come forward to tell stories of Champion’s threatening and bizarre behavior.

It was the second time this year that Champion—a longtime fixture of New York’s publishing scene, thanks in part to his nine-year relationship with Sarah Weinman, the news editor of the influential Publishers Lunch newsletter—had been the center of a storm of publishing-world anger and controversy.

In June, he’d written a disturbing and misogynist 11,000-word rant on his website, Edrants, largely directed at former Gawker editor and novelist Emily Gould. Gould and others responded on Twitter; Champion, in turn, claimed to have received death threats, and then himself threatened suicide.http://www.dailydot.com/lifestyle/new-...

Champion disappeared from Twitter. For a while. Around 11:00 p.m., Khakpour, a novelist and writer-in-residence at Bard, tweeted that Champion was demanding she apologize for deleting a comment he’d written on her Facebook page insulting Slate editor Dan Kois—or else.

Joined the long list of people harassed, insulted, fucked w/ by EdChampion. No idea what to do. Defended, befriended, etc him.And now this.

— Porochista Khakpour (@PKhakpour) September 26, 2014

Ed Champion is apparently threatening me.Please help me.He wants me to apologize by 11pm or he will reveal a man who photographed me nude.

— Porochista Khakpour (@PKhakpour) September 26, 2014

He is angry because he wrote a nasty comment about Dan Kois on my Facebook page & I deleted it. He proceeded to insult & harass me all week.

— Porochista Khakpour (@PKhakpour) September 26, 2014

Around the same time, and also on Twitter, Champion both confirmed his threat to reveal whoever photographed Khakpour nude and declared her an “an awful narcissist who squeezes everything she can from you and then dumps you.”

(Twitter eventually suspended Champion’s account.)

Some of the subsequent discussion within Twitter’s literary community—about why Champion repeatedly harasses and threatens other writers yet still manages to interview mainstream authors for his podcast, The Bat Segundo Show—focused on his relationship with Weinman. Mallory Ortberg, proprietor of The Toast, ventured:

just as information I've heard from several women who are horrified by Ed but afraid to say anything publicly because of @sarahw

— Mallory Ortberg (@mallelis) September 26, 2014

so there's pretty clearly a high degree of professional, structural support for this guy from someone in the publishing industry

— Mallory Ortberg (@mallelis) September 26, 2014

It seems worth noting that in close-knit, relationship-dependent industries like publishing, the line between “fear of pissing off a powerful journalist” and “fear of upsetting a friend” is often difficult to identify. Weinman, though, is also an “editor” of Champion’s blog:

@mallelis she also said, in a public FB status update, that she's the "in-house editor" and has seen (approved?) all of his correspondence

— Maud Newton (@maudnewton) September 26, 2014

Weinman has so far responded only to Khakpour, before bemoaning “internet drama”:

@PKhakpour that's odd, apparently you couldn't wait to "go public" even though I was in the middle of replying to you? I am quite baffled.

— Sarah Weinman (@sarahw) September 26, 2014

I loathe Internet drama so much. I really do.

— Sarah Weinman (@sarahw) September 26, 2014

And then, later:

I don't know what's going to happen.

— Sarah Weinman (@sarahw) September 26, 2014

Champion’s account has not yet been restored by Twitter. But one of his Facebook followers captured a statement he posted there after learning his Twitter account was disabled. In it, he indicated that Weinman had broken off their relationship:

Ed Champion's response to twitter suspension over abuse and threatening of @PKhakpour is...troubling. pic.twitter.com/c1VWT0U26m

— Brandy Zadrozny (@BrandyZadrozny) September 26, 2014

If you know anything more about this, please hop in below.

Photo via Shutterstock

The only thing worse than arriving to a funeral and realizing you are dressed exactly like the dead body is showing up to Fashion Week and realizing you are wearing the exact same thing as your husband, which is: not a bra, sister.

Unfortunately, that is exactly the fate that befell America's most unflappable iPhone character at Paris Fashion Week on Thursday.

TMZ reports that shortly before the above picture was taken, the Karadshian-Wests were booed by onlookers for arriving to their front row seats at the Lanvin fashion show after it had started.

In a video on the site, a visibly agitated West approaches the hecklers and yells that the couple were "not late!" Instead, he suggests that Lanvin's creative director Alber Elbaz was behind the poorly timed arrival.

"Alber asked to see us! Don't boo us!" he yells. "Alber asked to see us! Don't boo us!"

His top is so wide-open.

[Image via Getty]

The extravagant renovation of Mark Zuckerberg's $10 million San Francisco "fixer-upper" has already aggravated neighbors with months of noise and parking concerns. But Zuckerberg's own actions are making the impacts of the ongoing 17 month project worse. According to CBS, the boy billionaire has been paying a squad of squatters to hold parking spots so his construction workers have somewhere to park.

People, usually in pairs, regularly sit in parked cars overnight near Zuckerburg's home on 21st street near Dolores Street, according to neighbor Trafton Bean.

After noticing this for several weeks, one of Bean's roommates asked who they were. Several have now responded, claiming that they were hired by Zuckerberg to hold additional parking spots aside from the 4-5 allotted for construction vehicles during the morning. Most of the workers were young, and one had what looked like a college textbook to study while they waited in the dark, Bean said.

Hoarding public parking for private use got one startup chased out of San Francisco. But no expense is too great—no neighbor-alienating behavior is too extreme—in the construction of "Fort Zuckerberg."

Neighbors told CBS that they have to deal with "ear-splitting" construction from a 40 to 50 person workforce, even on Saturday mornings. In addition to parking hassles and sleepless mornings, Zuckerberg's crew as usurped the entire street.

As Curbed SF points out, the sprawling impact of Zuckerberg's Mission move is plainly visible on Google Street View:

Screenshots: Google Street View, h/t Curbed SF

Google has been trying to build cars that drive without humans for longer than it's been trying to hire more women and minorities. But the company really knows it audience. Workshops at the center of its diversity initiative were specifically designed for one personality type: "a skeptical, scientifically minded Google employee," says the New York Times.

That's because despite empirical evidence—like the fact that 79 percent of Google's managers are men—Googlers did not realize that they themselves might be responsible for cultivating a homogenous workforce. This revelation began a couple years ago when Laszlo Bock, Google's head of human resources, wondered—possibly for the first time—whether unconscious biases might be at play:

Google's interest in hidden biases was sparked in 2012, when Mr. Bock read an article in The New York Times about a study that showed systematic discrimination against female applicants for scientific jobs in academia. The effect was so pervasive that researchers theorized the discrimination must be governed by unconscious cultural biases rather than overt sexism.

Mr. Bock wondered how such unconscious biases were playing out at Google. "This is a pretty genteel environment, and you don't usually see outright manifestations of bias," he said. "Occasionally you'll have some idiot do something stupid and hurtful, and I like to fire those people."

"Genteel" may not be the best way to connote open-minded. Nonetheless he's onto something:

But Mr. Bock suspected that the more pernicious bias was most likely pervasive and hidden, a deep-set part of the culture rather than the work of a few loudmouth sexists.

By GOOG, I think he's got it!

Now whether or not you believe that a 16-year-old "recruiting machine" only just turned on this lightbulb, these workshops are a positive development—a gesture in the right direction. And they're already jolting Googlers into using a new section of those scientific brains:

Another time, in an all-company presentation, an interviewer asked a male and female manager who had recently begun sharing an office, "Which one of you does the dishes?" The strange, sexist undertone of the question was immediately seized upon by a senior executive in the crowd, who yelled, "Unconscious bias!"

Mr. Bock saw all of these actions as evidence that the training was working. "Suddenly you go from being completely oblivious to going, 'Oh my god, it's everywhere,' " he said.

For the record, Google just called itself "completely oblivious," not me.

To contact the author of this post, please email nitasha@gawker.com.

[Image via Getty]