Spotted on FDR Drive heading southbound from 110th Street, the meme that never dies found its final resting place in gorgeous New York City on a pleasant and temperate fall day meant for apple-picking and brisk walks. Fuck her ight in the usy indeed! (sic)

[Tip from Gawker Senior Editor Jason Parham with the subject "NYC LOL"/IG credit: @tacosingalapagos]

Here are two minutes and forty-one seconds of hanging out and smoking with Bill Murray while he sings along to Bob Dylan's "Shelter From the Storm," courtesy of his new film St. Vincent. I think you might enjoy it (no promises).

I hope I was right re: your enjoyment.

[h/t Uproxx]

The United States Air Force has said that three U.S. airmen were swept out to sea off the coast of Japan on Sunday, resulting in the death of one and leaving two others missing. A strong typhoon named Phanfone was responsible for their disappearance.

Via the New York Times:

In a statement, the Air Force said Japanese and American rescue helicopters had found the body of one of the three Americans after they were carried away by waves from the northeastern coast of the island, which hosts several American military bases. The search for the other two was being hampered by high winds and waves, the statement said.

The typhoon, which has since passed Okinawa, is now headed toward Tokyo, reports say, and has had winds up to 110 mph, though they have now slowed to 100 mph. According to reports, several people on Kyushu, an island off of Japan, "have been injured by the high winds and heavy rains."

[Image via AP]

The AP reports the man suspected of carrying out a deadly shooting on two Pennsylvania state troopers, killing one and injuring another, texted a friend saying "all is good" before the attack.

According to court documents obtained by the Scranton Times-Tribune, a friend of Eric Frein's received a text from him at about 6:15 p.m. on Sept. 12, a few hours before the shooting occurred the Blooming Grove barracks, saying "all is good." It went on to say Frein was "heading back to Delaware" but would be back in town in a week.

Police say Frein told friends and relatives that he was working in Delaware to give himself time to prepare for the attack.

More than three weeks after the shooting, Eric Frein remains at large.

[image via AP]

Two college students who were recently interrupted mid-coitus were reportedly cool with it when they realized the drunk party-crashers were also famous television stars.

Modern Family's Jesse Tyler Ferguson recounted the story last week on Conan, explaining that he and his TV husband, Eric Stonestreet, were at Kansas State to do a talk with some students.

Ferguson and Stonestreet—a Kansas State graduate—then went out barhopping and decided to crash Stonestreet's old frat house.

So this is like, 2:30 in the morning, and we just randomly go to the Pike frat house. And we knocked on the door, they open the door, and here's these two people from television—iconic characters, if you ask me—and they were so thrown off, like, "What are you doing here?"

But things got interesting when the pair went exploring.

And then we were walking down the hallway and found Eric's photo on the wall and then he's like, "Let's go into my old room." So he just opens up a room that he used to live in, and there was a man in there with his lady-friend, and they were under the sheet doing naughty, naughty things. And we come into the room and they're like, "HEY," and she's like covering herself up with the sheet, and then they're like, "Oh my god, can we get a picture with you guys?"

And we took photos with them.

Ferguson said the girl later got dressed and made them retake the photos, but the lesson of the story appears to be that if you want to take selfies with famous actors, just leave the door unlocked.

[h/t Uproxx]

The first confirmed Ebola patient in the United States took a turn for the worse this weekend, the director of the Centers for Disease Control said Sunday.

Dr. Thomas R. Frieden told reporters Sunday that Thomas Eric Duncan, a Liberian citizen, is "quite critical," and that his situation "has taken a turn for the worse."

Frieden also attempted to assuage fears of a US Ebola outbreak. Although Duncan reportedly came into contact with at least 80 people, Frieden said on Meet the Press Sunday that cases will likely be isolated in America.

"It's not going to spread widely in the U.S. for two basic reasons. We can do infection control in hospitals and we can do public health interventions that stop it in its tracks," he said, a point echoed in the Washington Post's take on the factors that led to the Ebola outbreak in West Africa.

Officials also announced this weekend that they had located a homeless man who rode in the ambulance used to take Duncan to the hospital. According to the New York Times, the man, who was asymptomatic on Saturday, attempted to go into hiding before he was relocated.

And should Duncan survive the Ebola virus, he's likely to face severe legal repercussions. Liberia has already announced plans to prosecute him for lying on his exit visa, and the Dallas County DA told the Times the office is currently debating whether to charge him with some sort of aggravated assault charge.

[image via AP]

Hollywood sex scenes—hot on the screen, painfully unsexy to film. Case-in-point: this behind-the-scenes clip of Brooklyn Decker and Patrick Wilson faking orgasms.

Director Joe Carnahan released the video to promote the pair's upcoming film, Stretch, but the clip really demonstrates what actors have been saying for years—simulating sex on a set in front of a crew is really, really awkward.

"Great fucking!" Carnahan tells the pair, before an assistant swoops in to spray fake sweat on Wilson's back. What could be sexier?

[h/t Uproxx]

AMC's been rolling out teaser clips from Better Call Saul for months now, but after a Sunday Breaking Bad marathon, the network debuted a full-length Vince Gilligan-produced music video for the upcoming season.

Gilligan is a big fan of genre music videos (fans of Breaking Bad may remember his foray into narcocorrido ballads) and according to Rolling Stone, he co-wrote the Saullyrics with Breaking Bad writer Peter Gould and composer Dave Porter.

Gilligan—who had Cuates De Sinaloa, an actual narcocorrido band, write and perform the Heisenberg theme song—kept it authentic with the Saul video as well: the two-and-a-half minute song is performed by country mainstay Junior Brown, who picks the Johnny Cash-esque tune on a dirty guit-steel double-neck guitar.

[h/t Daily Dot]

"Why not just shut down the flights and secure the borders?" Elisabeth Hasselbeck asks about Our Ebola Nightmare on Fox & Friends today. Unfortunately, she asks not a fellow anchor but Dr. Anthony Fauci, Director of the National Institiute of Allergies and Infectious Diseases at the NIH.

Fauci: From a public health standpoint, that really doesn't make any sense...

The best way to protect America is to suppress the epidemic in West Africa. And if we completely isolate them, don't let anything in don't let anything out, we know from experience with public health, that marginalizes them, and you could have civil unrest, the governments could fall. And then you could wind up having the spread the virus to other countries in west Africa, which would only compound the problem.

Hasselbeck: What about something perhaps less extreme…

Fauci: Like what?

Hasselbeck: …Not a complete closing. I don't think anyone who has a heart wants some—a group of people to just suffer alone in the world, and there are those that want to go and help, and my heart is with them. But what about a partial ban? A closing of our borders of travel?

Fauci: A closing of our borders? I'm sorry, I don't know what you mean by that…

I'm sorry, but that doesn't work. If you look at the newspapers, if you look at the TV coverage, you think that West Africa is this nation of the people that you see on the front page of the New York Times sick in Ebola treatment units.

It's a much much larger—this is a nation of millions and millions of people—multiple nations, not one. You have Americans there, you have businesspeople there, people of dual citizenship, who have to go back and forth. It's completely impractical, and from a public health standpoint, not helpful, to [shut down borders]. And I think every public health official feels that way.

Yeah, but what do public health officials know about keeping us safe from infectious disease?

[H/t Raw Story]

A couple who had been taking a romantic hot air balloon ride over the Southern California shores on Sunday ended their journey with a leisurely swim after their airborne vessel came crashing into the Pacific Ocean.

The hot air balloon landed in the water north of San Diego to the excitement of a crowd of hundreds gathered on the beach in Cardiff-by-the-Sea that day. Eric Barretto had just proposed to his fiancee (she said yes!) when the disaster occurred.

Via NBC7 in San Diego:

The pilot, who identified himself as Tim with Panda Air Bear Balloon Flights, said that as the winds pushed the balloon to the west, he thought the best thing to do was get to the water and have the onshore winds help push the balloon back to shore.

Onlookers on the beach and surfers out to sea rescued the pilot and the newly engaged couple from the waves, after their pilot threw a line to shore. The balloon was pulled in from there.

Congratulations to the newly engaged couple!

[Image via NBC7]

The most beautiful point in Amazon Prime's breakout series Transparent comes just past the halfway point, in part of an overheard sermon delivered by the enormously appealing Rabbi Raquel (Kathryn Hahn):

"Forty years? ...It's because God needed that amount of time, to change slaves into free people. The previous generation had to die; no one got in from that generation. Only those that were born free—that were born in the wilderness—get to see the Promised Land."

Without context, these words could seem harsh, even hateful. But because the show stakes out its wilderness so plainly, and with such compassion for its characters, it has taught you to watch, to understand itself, well before this sermon is delivered.

The character around whom the story turns—Maura Pfefferman, played by a 70-year-old Jeffrey Tambor—stands between her own Promised Land and wilderness. Her death as a man, in order to become herself, puts her squarely in the wild, and she brings the rest of the family along with her. Somewhere around her 70th year, after 20 years in hiding, Maura summons the courage to transform, to live outwardly as the woman she has always been. Tambor will be lauded for his performance in the role, and it is a thing of beauty. But Maura herself, in her wisdom and her selfishness, her poise and her entitlement, is a deeply engaging character.

Consider also the "pfour or pfive" Pfeffernans that make up the family surrounding Maura, and their separate wildernesses: Ex-wife Shelly (Judith Light) performs Jewish-motherness to a degree so over the top that realizing how much of her daffy, smothering routine is an act is one of the growing pleasures, or reliefs, of the season. Eldest daughter Sarah (Amy Landecker) is a strong liberal, an intellectual, who performs her gender perfectly but is right at home with her shifting sexual desires. Sweet awful Joshua (Jay Duplass) is doing his damned best to perform a masculinity based on a man who, he finds, never really existed; playing out his own separate traumas in a million ways. Alison (Gaby Hoffman), the baby of the family, the wild one, the one young enough to look at it directly; to investigate and search and wander.

Jill Soloway, the creator of the show, has spoken about how so many of the great prestige dramas of the last decade or two begin with the death of a father: Six Feet Under, literally. (Brothers & Sisters, which started strong, too. I would add Buffy, the Vampire Slayer, which contains very few paternal representations and only one real father.) She says she wanted to begin her story with Maura's confession, her decision to transition from Morty to Maura, to the entire family at once, about the truth of herself: That the unfolding story would be a wake for Morty, in a sense, and explore what happens when the rules fall apart and we're left figuring it out for ourselves.

She decided instead, with her co-producers, to play the drama out over the season's first half, revealing Maura to each child over time, in different (and differently moving) scenarios. Given the dynamic forward-movement of the story as a whole, it was a wise choice. It means having every conversation about the subject, through a different lens: Not the agreed-upon, ethically or politically correct conclusion, but the questions and rage and grief that lead up to understanding. We find the Pfeffernans wandering the wilderness, and they never stop doing so, and that is life.

The reason rituals and tradition are such a defining part of a society is because people need something to rest their feet on: You are not the same person you were yesterday, you are not the same person an hour before lunch as you will be an hour after lunch, your heart will be broken and later on your heart will love so strongly it will make you feel breathless. You can't expect all of these people to agree, so you put your back against the tradition, for times when you are sad or weak or breathless. When you need help standing, or thinking, or even just to keep yourself alive.

Maura needed at least forty years to become a free woman. In those forty years we have all found ourselves in the particularly gender-centric wilderness the show focuses on—and thank God for it—as so many vestigial, unnecessary performances and rituals of gender stop meaning anything. The death of the father, in this case, telescoping to a death of worn-out traditions, and the terrifying wasteland that is left when we remove them.

When Alison asks Raquel about a particular Jewish tradition, she doesn't even know where it came from: Do we sit shiva because of the Torah, or the Midrash, or "whatever"; do we do things that make no sense or do we seek out the sense behind them? She covers mirrors, she cuts her clothing, she rages at her parent for denying her the comfort of God, and of tradition, by allowing her to cancel her own bat mitzvah as a child. Alison, the wild one, demanding an explanation for her wildness, is another of the ugliest and most beautiful moments of the season.

The Pfeffernans don't believe in God because they are not idiots; they're selfish, though, because they don't believe in anything. They project their needs and their desires and the self-images onto one another like canvasses; they decry secrets and beg for transparency even as they're lying to themselves and to one another.

A healthy respect for tradition, and a complete distaste for it—terror, even—is the way out of that wilderness and into freedom. And by the lights of their selfishness, their wandering, their wildness, the Pfeffernans plot a course toward home. It doesn't look like anything you'd expect, and it's a journey that never ends, but freedom is just as hard as slavery.

We bring our pain and our traumas and our performances and our ideas about the world—our garbage DNA—everywhere we go. Lots of us never get further into it than that, because surviving is secondary to thriving. But the further we, and the Pfeffernans, go, the more the wilderness starts to look like home.

Only those born wild can enter the Promised Land, and once you do you learn a secret that has been kept out of your hands for as long as there have been people: You were there all along. The Promised Land is the wilderness, and always was. The only difference is you weren't free, and now you are.

Morning After is a new home for television discussion online, brought to you by Gawker. Follow @GawkerMA and read more about it here.

Following this morning's decision by the Supreme Court to deny appeals to seven same-sex marriage cases, couples in Virginia have flocked to state courthouses for impromptu weddings. Yvonne Landis, who with her partner of 23 years, Melodie Mayo, were the first couple in Virginia to apply for a same-sex marriage license today, told the Washington Post, "I'm just really excited. We always said we are waiting for Virginia. We wanted it to be legal here."

Virginia Attorney General Mark Herring announced this morning via his Twitter that marriages could start today and couples started making arrangements soon after.

First same-sex couple to get married in Virginia Beach is filling out their marriage license right now. @13NewsNow pic.twitter.com/K80Honl9cW

— Kaila DeRienzo (@13KailaDeRienzo) October 6, 2014

Just hours after U.S. Supreme Court clears way, same-sex couples begin to marry in Virginia http://t.co/vOBQhjjMEh pic.twitter.com/pXZiXHio2f

— NBCWashington (@nbcwashington) October 6, 2014

«@LuisM_Gonz http://t.co/JYyoxLwykz pic.twitter.com/i2aU0RN4kQ»the one on the left aint a man?

— Jackie G. (@WackayJackay) October 6, 2014

Meet the first same-sex couple granted a marriage license in #RVA. http://t.co/XuBCWa6tXO pic.twitter.com/wpCJCkiOdJ

— Times-Dispatch (@RTDNEWS) October 6, 2014

[Image via AP]

Which is worse: EBOLA, the disease; or OBOLA, the dream from his father?(with illustration) https://t.co/zsWqu4KuqR

— Dinesh D'Souza (@DineshDSouza) October 6, 2014

Two men robbed several Duluth, Georgia, hardware stores of their Weedwackers and chainsaws last Monday. When a police officer gave chase, the men popped their hatchback and sought to repel the lawman Ash-style in Army of Darkness, aiding in their successful getaway.

Vocativ reports:

After the men had robbed $19,000 in Weedwackers and chainsaws from two other stores, the policeman spied the thieves leaving a Howard Brothers hardware at 1:30 a.m. Seeing as it wasn't exactly the right hour for a gardening goods run, the officer turned on his lights and followed in hot pursuit.

That's when they threw chainsaws at him.

At least one of the flying death machines found its mark, doing at least $3,000 in damage to the officer's cruiser and ending the chase three minutes after it started. The two bandits ran from their car and into the woods, where those chainsaws would have also come in handy. They have yet to be found.

A local TV station clarifies that the robbers tossed "three chainsaws and a weed-eater" at the officer pursuing them, who was not injured. Inside the abandoned car, authorities reportedly found nine more weed-eaters and two more chainsaws—or, as Georgians call it, "an Alan Jackson dozen."

Anyone working at Reddit who might want to criticize your employer someday, take note: if the company's CEO finds out, he will definitely not take the high road.

The uncomfortable run-in between ex-staffer and chief executive happened in the middle of one of the site's trademark AMA threads (CEO Yishan Wong's comments are highlighted in yellow):

It seems like "That's incorrect, you were fired" would have been sufficient, but then Wong keeps on typing and typing. Between this and Wong's bizarre defense of Reddit as a hacked porn sanctuary, it's clear the man has nobody around him to say "Yishan, shut up, don't hit enter."

h/t Isaac Hepworth

To contact the author of this post, write to biddle@gawker.com

Unlike some people, ahem.

[Photos via Elle/Lance Gross]

In the love rhombus that is Justin Bieber's life, there are many brown-haired players. Last night, piss baby Bieber Instagrammed and then deleted a pic of his on-again, off-again girlfriend Selena Gomez. Is he just trying to get her back after maybe hooking up with a Kardashian and a French lady in Paris?

The Instagram in question, above, features Gomez kissing Bieber's gangly tattooed shoulder. The Daily Mail speculates it was taken in late September, before Bieber's slutty roadtrip to France. Gomez has unfollowed Bieber on Instagram in the wake of reports that he got busy with other ladies in Paris while Gomez was right there, hello.

Last week, Bieber took Kendall Jenner, the bullied fashion model sister of Kim Kardashian, out on a hot date. And he was just hanging out with Gomez that morning. If you recall, and I know you do, Gomez unfriended Kendall and Kylie Jenner after Coachella this year because they were "toxic."

#Breaking: Justin Bieber & Kendall Jenner had a romantic dinner in Paris... what about Selena? http://t.co/2RFswN5jZP pic.twitter.com/oM7BofXSqV

— TMZ (@TMZ) September 30, 2014

After the date, Bieber's mom tweeted this, suggesting Jenner is a homewrecker. And NOT Gomez's friend.

I know you love him. I know you need love. But... #DontBeAHomeWrecker

— Pattie Mallette (@pattiemallette) October 4, 2014

But now, like an authentically-prepared cup of French onion soup, the plot thickens. According to PerezHilton.com, Bieber took yet another brunette woman—a mysterious French lady at that—out to the club. Per Perez:

Biebs was seen exiting a Parisian nightclub with a tall and dark haired woman. The mystery lady donned a geometric patterned dress and a sultry shade of red lipstick.

It is truly amazing that someone who cries while riding ATVs is able to juggle all these women.

Gomez appears to be relying on God and her dad during this trying time.

Sometimes we think we aren't good enough. But then I realize when I think I'm alone I have God.

— Selena Gomez (@selenagomez) October 2, 2014

[Photos via Instagram]

Business Insider, a well-funded news site about airplanes, trolls its own audience with relative regularity. A piece published last week, however, takes the form to bold new heights.

Steve Siebold is a self-described self-made multi-millionaire who has written books with titles like 77 Mental Toughness Secrets of the World Class and How Rich People Think. In a listicle entitled "What the Middle Class Doesn't Understand About Rich People," he explains what the middle class doesn't understand about rich people: that they are better, and braver, and harder-working than everyone else. Interesting take—let's dig in.

1. The wealthy are comfortable being uncomfortable.

The poor and the middle-class have been devastated by their own pernicious need for comfort. Why else would they all be on welfare? The great ones—the great ones!—see things differently:

The wealthy, on the other hand, learn early on that becoming a millionaire isn't easy, and the need for comfort can be devastating. They learn to be comfortable while operating in a state of ongoing uncertainty. The great ones know there's a price to pay for getting rich, but if they have the mental toughness to endure temporary pain, they can reap the harvest of abundant wealth.

2. The wealthy dream about the future.

Monetization begins when you stop reminiscing and start remi-now-scing. Poor people are all like, "Remember the old timey days?", but rich people are like, "Let's innovate, baby."

Most of us grew up listening to stories of the good old days, when the world was a kinder, gentler place. The music was better, athletes were tougher, and business people were honest. This tradition of the masses is handed down from generation to generation while its purveyors have no idea how insidious and destructive it is. People who believe their best days are behind them rarely get rich, and they often struggle with happiness and depression.

The wealthy are future-oriented and optimistic about what lies ahead. They appreciate and learn from the past while living in the present and dreaming of the future.

3. The wealthy are more confident.

Believe in yourself. Wealth is a mindset. Think money, have money. Want what you have, and have what you want. Not arrogance: self-assuredness. You're cool, man, 'cause you're a cool man. And rich. Rich and cool. You couldn't even stop it if you wanted to. Surfs up!

The wealthy have an elevated and fearless consciousness that keeps them moving toward what they want, as opposed to moving away from what they don't want. This often doubles or triples their net worth quickly because of the new efficiency in their thinking. Eventually they begin to believe they can accomplish anything, and this becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. As they move from success to success, they create a psychological tidal wave of momentum that gets stronger every day, catapulting their confidence to a level so high it is often interpreted as arrogance.

4. The wealthy believe money is about freedom.

Wealthy people are wealthy because they understand that money isn't actually about paying rent, or buying food, or sending your kids to school. It's about freedom.

Rich people can afford to stand up and fight oppression. They can afford to buy their way out of unhealthy work environments, bad bosses, and other unpleasant situations. They have the means to enlist the best doctors when they get sick, and they are able to make themselves as comfortable as possible when they can't get well. When they want to raise money for business, politics, or charity, a few phone calls to their rich friends is all it takes. If they need more money, they throw a party or host an auction and charge $1,000 a ticket. The examples of how much money buys freedom are endless.

This is true, of course. When you're poor, you're beholden to many more forces beyond your control than you are when you're rich. But it isn't so much an illustration of the rich man's capacity for thinkfluencing himself out of any shitty situation as it is a reminder of the awfulness of income inequality. Why you gotta rub it in, Steve?

And finally,

5. The wealthy carefully monitor their associations.

Like attracts like, yet the wealthy are often criticized for having a closed inner circle that is almost impossible to break into unless you are rich. Successful people generally agree that consciousness is contagious, and that exposure to people who are more successful has the potential to expand your thinking and catapult your income. We become like the people we associate with, and that's why winners are attracted to winners.

Don't hate rich people for not associating with the filthy likes of you. Keeping you at arms length is just good business.

After a youth football coach in Toms River, N.J. decided to cancel the entire season because his players were exhibiting ongoing poor sportsmanship and "bad attitudes," one of the kids' dads allegedly tackled the coach in response to that bullshit.

The dad was charged with simple assault on Sunday evening after the announcement came down. Witnesses say the protective papa bear ran across the field and tackled the coach, and the two adult men fought on the ground with many people watching.

Dad was all, "No, I was provoked and defended myself because of the provocation."
Coach was all, "No. You came at me, bro."

Witnesses say that the dipshit dad was the sole aggressor in this case. Wonder where his kid got that BAD ATTITUDE FROM. Hard to imagine.

[Image via AP]

Nineteen-year-old Chicago resident Mohammed Hamzah Khan was charged with attempting to provide material support to a foreign terrorist organization today after getting arrested Saturday at the O'Hare airport. FBI agents say Khan planned to go overseas and fight with ISIS in Iraq or Syria.

According to NBC Chicago, Khan purchased a roundtrip ticked to Istanbul on September 26. He allegedly planned to go to Syria or Iraq from there. The FBI searched his house and found "multiple handwritten documents that appeared to be drafted by Khan and/or others, which expressed support for ISIL," including a letter to his parents.

In the letter, according to the FBI, Khan explained his plans and invited his family to join him. "First and foremost, please make sure to not tell the authorities for if this were to happen it will jeopardize not only the safety of us but our family as well," he wrote.

Khan isn't the first American teen to be arrested at the airport while trying to get to ISIS. Colorado teen Shannon Maureen Conley pleaded guilty to providing material support to a terrorist organization last month after falling in love with an ISIS militant online and attempting to join him in Syria.

[Photo via AP]