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Jennifer Aniston Will Let You Know Personally When She Is Married

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Jennifer Aniston Will Let You Know Personally When She Is Married

Jennifer Aniston: Is she married? Is she pregnant? Is she a dried up old witch who burns photos of Angelina Jolie to keep warm in her disgusting garbage pit troll house? Or is she rich and talented? Hard to say! Not to worry, though—in a new interview with InStyle, the actor says she'll let you know—yes, you!—about any changes to her personal life.

In response to what she'd write if she were able to write her own tabloid headline (every woman's dream) Aniston told InStyle, via E! Online:

"Oh, that's a tough one. That should be a Justin question. Wait a sec. How's this? 'When I'm pregnant and married, I will let you know.' Not a tabloid publication. Not Bulls—t Times or Crapass Bulls—t Times Weekly. They will not be telling you," Aniston vows. "And by the way, stop stealing my thunder! Let me have the fun of telling that story."

Stop stealing her thunder! Every time you don't uncheck a box, allowing a company to email you about further deals: Jennifer Aniston's got that info. Every time you let the someone on the street sign you up for something because he was cute: Jennifer Aniston's got that info. Every time you enter your phone number into wheresmycellphone.com? Oh yes, our sweet baby Rachel has got that info, my man. She's got it all and she'll let you know if anything happens.

K?

Relax.

[image via Getty]

BuzzFeed Pulls Writer’s Employment Offer Over Leak Allegations

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BuzzFeed Pulls Writer’s Employment Offer Over Leak Allegations

The small staff of Boston.com, the breaking-news site associated with The Boston Globe, is still reeling from weeks of internal unrest stemming from a series a viral posts about a Harvard professor and a Chinese restaurant published in early December, which resulted in a retraction, some disciplinary actions, and a suspension for one staffer. The turmoil’s latest casualty, however, involves a previously unrelated party: a young journalist who was about to start a fellowship at BuzzFeed.

Capital’s Peter Sterne reports that the viral news website abruptly terminated a paid fellowship offer it had extended to 24-year-old Boston.com writer Doug Saffir shortly after Capital inquired about his alleged involvement in leaking information—in this case, an audio file recorded during a staff meeting—to local Boston station WGBH. Saffir and another employee, David Stewart, were reprimanded for the leak; the latter is “expected to return this week,” according to Capital. Saffir, however, appears to be out of a job entirely at BuzzFeed:

Three people close to Boston.com told Capital that on Dec. 15, breaking news writer Doug Saffir was escorted out of the newsroom and has not been seen in the building since. Saffir had already been accepted for a fellowship position at BuzzFeed News and given his two weeks’ notice to Boston.com the week before.

A BuzzFeed spokesperson initially confirmed to Capital that Saffir was a fellow at BuzzFeed News, reporting to news editor Rachel Zarrell, who is herself a former Boston.com employee. Shortly after being asked about the incident at Boston.com, though, the BuzzFeed spokeswoman told Capital that Saffir’s offer had been rescinded and he would not be joining the fellowship program after all.

The timeline here is pretty easy to interpret: BuzzFeed withdrew Saffir’s offer because he was somehow involved in leaking information to another outlet. (In an email exchange with Gawker, a BuzzFeed spokesperson didn’t challenge this interpretation.)

Now, it’s certainly within BuzzFeed’s rights to cancel Saffir’s job offer, regardless of his actual role (however minor) in recording or leaking the audio. Indeed, the move squares with the culture of loyalty—or secrecy—that BuzzFeed has worked to cultivate over the past few years. Internal company memos rarely leak from its ever-expanding rank-and-file; employees there often fret about retribution for divulging information to reporters. Whatever you think of that atmosphere, Saffir would be considered a serious liability within it.

At the same time, BuzzFeed isn’t a government office or a bank; it’s a media company which depends on, and regularly publishes, leaked information. The site’s biggest scoop of 2014 was a 96-page internal report presented to top executives at The New York Times. BuzzFeed is perfectly comfortable with using information that other outlets would rather keep secret. Now that we can likely discern what moved BuzzFeed to cancel this particular job offer—a willingness to acquire and divulge secrets—it’s worth asking what kind of secrets BuzzFeed is worried about protecting.

Fireworks Factory Catches Fire, Explodes, Knocks Guy on Ass

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"One person sustained minor injuries and several roads were closed" in Granada, Colombia, the BBC reports, which is the BBC's way of saying "Holy fucking shit, a fireworks factory caught fire, setting off hundreds of fireworks at once in an explosion that knocked this local TV cameraman on his ass."

"An investigation has been launched" to determine the cause of the boom-shaking, ass-knocking, mega-gargantu-ton firesplosion, the BBC adds, conservatively.

An explosion filmed last year in Italy, where an entire fireworks display ignited at once, merited a "holy shit" at the time, but is no longer impressing anyone.

[h/t Reddit]

What Did God Accidentally Give Bradley Cooper Instead of Nipples?

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What Did God Accidentally Give Bradley Cooper Instead of Nipples?

The man who will, in the absolute best case scenario of his life, go down in history as America's second-most-famous Brad—Bradley Cooper—appears within and without the February issue of W magazine in the costume of a nearly naked French clown. Pasty and slick, straight out of the Comédie-Italienne of your nightmares, he stands in stately profile, bearing his nipples to the world.

But are they nipples?

They're so teeny, teeny tiny.

What did God (or Satan) accidentally give Bradley Cooper's instead of standard human nipples?

  • Two (2) pink chocolate chips?
  • Two (2) pink nails, hammered into this chest until their heads were flush with his skin?
  • Two (2) glass teddybear eyes, but pink?
  • Two (2) small salami?
  • Two (2) pink Smarties®?
  • Two (2) pink M&M's® (acquired from seasonal Easter pack)?
  • Two (2) dried berries of the Peruvian pepper tree?
  • Two (2) anthills viewed from an airplane?
  • Two (2) drops of red, red wine spilled on alabaster?
  • Two (2) pink evil eyes to spare him the turmoil of life?
  • Two (2) pink pushpins?
  • Two (2) two onomatopoetic *beep* *beep* sounds, rendered visually?
Or something else?

Or are they nipples and I'm going to feel embarrassed?

[Images by Tim Walker for W]

As a top money manager says "The good times are over," stocks fell today for the fifth day in a row,

You Know What, These Sexy Underwear Pics of Justin Bieber Aren't So Bad 

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You Know What, These Sexy Underwear Pics of Justin Bieber Aren't So Bad 

Be still everyone's hearts, even my own heart, which I must admit is beating slightly faster now for some reason: Here are the first photos of Justin Bieber's Calvin Klein underwear campaign. Bieber posted the pics to Instagram on the 5th of the year, announcing "this is just the start of the year" and encouraging everyone to "#beallyoucanbe."

He also would like us all to "#learnfromyourfaults," "#risetosuccess," and "#dontbeashamedredeem." "#Thebestisyet2come," assures Justin Bieber.

While he may not have a way with spaces between words, I think we can all agree that we would make out with Justin Bieber after three beers, maybe two.

Alan Dershowitz Sued By Comic Relief

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Alan Dershowitz Sued By Comic Relief

Unexpectedly, something funny in the Jeffrey Epstein-sex-with-minors case: after threatening to sue everyone involved for defamation, high-powered attorney Alan Dershowitz now finds himself the defendant in a defamation suit brought by the plaintiff's lawyers.

Dershowitz railed on the plaintiff's attorneys yesterday on CNN, saying he planned to have both Paul Cassell and Bradley Edwards disbarred for claiming that he and Prince Andrew had slept with underage prostitutes in recent court filings.

"How does a lawyer rely on the statement of a woman who is a serial perjurer, serial liar, serial prostitute, and bring charges against somebody with an unscathed reputation like me without even checking?" Dershowitz said Monday.

He also dared the now-30-year-old plaintiff to make a public statement so that he could sue her for defamation.

But he wasn't quick enough—Cassell and Edwards turned around Tuesday and slapped Dershowitz with a defamation suit, the New York Daily News reports. Between this and all the underlying litigation, this thing is never gonna end. Roll up your sleeves boys, we're gonna bill a fucking million hours.

[image via AP]


Bill Gates Drinks Poop Water

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"Have I got an investment for you," Bill Gates whispers, his eyes feverish with excitement. Or is it the poop water? Only time will tell.

Gates just released a YouTube video of himself sippin' on a cool one from a Janicki OmniProcessor: a self-contained sanitation device that makes clean water from poop. The machine takes in the "sludge"—as the company's CEO delicately terms it—then boils and burns it into electricity and drinking water.

But more importantly, a savvy investor can turn it into cash, too. You just plug it in, right, and bam! Rich forever. 'Cause shit never goes out of style, my friend.

The entrepreneur that owns this processor will get paid for the input—the sludge. And that same entrepreneur will get paid for the outputs—the electricity, the water, and the ash... It will grow to every corner of the earth that needs it, because it makes money every day.

"It's water," Gates says. He nods approvingly. More poop water please!

All the Jeffrey Epstein Allegations Vanity Fair Wouldn't Publish

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All the Jeffrey Epstein Allegations Vanity Fair Wouldn't Publish

Vicky Ward, the Vanity Fair contributor who profiled Jeffrey Epstein back in 2003, says even then it was obvious something was very off with the mysteriously well-connected Palm Beach sex offender.

Ward published an update of sorts today on the Daily Beast, discussing her 2003 profile on the financier— The Talented Mr. Epstein.But Ward says she heard about Epstein's proclivities years before police began investigating allegations of underage girls and sex slaves.

In fact, Ward says she interviewed a then-16-year-old Arizona girl who claimed Epstein had molested her and then bought her and her family's silence. The girl's mother told Ward she was afraid Epstein would hurt her or her family if they went public.

But Ward says Vanity Fair editor Graydon Carter ultimately wouldn't print the allegations, explaining,"He's sensitive about the young women."

When I put their allegations to Epstein, he denied them and went into overdrive. He called Graydon. He also repeatedly phoned me. He said, "Just the mention of a 16-year-old girl…carries the wrong impression. I don't see what it adds to the piece. And that makes me unhappy."

Next, Epstein attacked both me and my sources. Letters purporting to be from the women were sent to Graydon, which the women claimed (and gave evidence to show me) were fabricated fakes. I had my own notes to disprove Epstein's claims against me.

And then there was Epstein himself, who, I'd be told after I'd given birth, got past security at Condé Nast and went into the Vanity Fair offices. By now everyone at the magazine was completely spooked.

A Vanity Fair spokeswoman reportedly said today, "Epstein denied the charges at the time and since the claims were unsubstantiated and no criminal investigation had been initiated, we decided not to include them in what was a financial story."

What else wouldn't the magazine print about Epstein's proclivities and mysterious fortune? According to Ward:

  • Epstein had a young female assistant call Ward to tell her Epstein thought she looked "so pretty."
  • Steve Hoffenberg, a convicted felon who ran a $450 million Ponzi scheme, claimed he had been Epstein's mentor.
  • Epstein was fired from Bear Stearns after he committed a "reg d violation," which he reportedly admitted to in a deposition. [Regulation D governs the FDIC regulations for a bank's depository reserve.]
  • Bear Stearns' then-CEO James Cayne covered for Epstein, telling Ward Epstein left the firm voluntarily when his ambition "outgrew" the place.
  • Epstein had a contract with The Limited CEO Leslie Wexner that gave him "carte blanche to insert himself into both Wexner's family and business affairs."
  • Ward says she discovered "many other concrete, irrefutable examples of strange business practices by Epstein," who was "definitely not what he claimed to be." Ward says she still can't say exactly how he earned his money.

[image via AP]

NYPD Harassment Stories: The Unending Abuse of Power by Officers

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NYPD Harassment Stories: The Unending Abuse of Power by Officers

Last month, in a dispatch for The Atlantic, Ta-Nehisi Coates wrote, "The police are representatives of a state that derives its powers from the people." The gravity of Coates's words are not lost on me, and I have considered the sentence's trueness many times in the preceding weeks. "We, the people," our founding fathers inscribed in the preamble to the Constitution. But our present condition—one that finds the NYPD constantly at odds with the community it is designed to protect—is a reality our founding fathers perhaps had not predicted: a citizenry devoid of power, and a petty police force with no sense of moral obligation to the communities it serves. The deaths of Eric Garner and Akai Gurley—and all the lives the NYPD has unfairly taken, and will likely take again—are what happens when the people have no power. I am troubled.

But Coates continues, writing: "The killings of Officers Liu and Ramos prompt national comment. The killings of black civilians do not. When it is convenient to award qualitative value to murder, we do so. When it isn't, we do not. We are outraged by violence done to police, because it is violence done to all of us as a society. In the same measure, we look away from violence done by the police, because the police are not the true agents of the violence. We are." These words are also not lost on me. I am now wondering: How do we reclaim the power that we have given the NYPD, how do we reform a system so rooted in city politics—the consequences of which have become an unending and expected American practice—and alter our present existence? By showing just how toxic this system has become, and by continuing to chip away at the cracks.

As part of an ongoing series, Gawker is publishing stories from New Yorkers who have been victims of, or witnesses to, police harassment and brutality by the NYPD. Police brutality, which we believe should be treated as a national crisis, is not limited to the streets of Brooklyn, Cleveland, or Los Angeles. But examining the actions of the country's largest and most famous police force, and giving a voice to the victims of its violence, is a start.

1.

My laptop was stolen in Grand Central Terminal. The crime which was record by surveillance cameras was assigned case #10-12692 by officer O'Donnell, after officer Zimmerman claimed the item was not stolen, but lost, and refused to accept the complaint. As part of a scheme to fudge the crime statistics, officer O'Donnell prepared a "lost property incident report" case #10-12629, containing statements he knew to be false, including; "The victim stated that he did not have a phone and did not possess identification. He was irrational, argumentative, and belligerent. He did refuse to provide a date of birth or social security number. Address provided was checked and is a homeless shelter." As a result, officer O'Donnell has caused the crime to disappear, false information to be entered into official record, and the Police record is bogus. I live in fear. [male]

2.

A few years ago, I was on the Q train heading to 34 Street and a woman had a massive seizure. While she lay on the floor shaking, no one did anything so I went over and shifted her and held her head so she wouldn't swallow her tongue. They held the train in the station and two cops showed up. As the woman's seizure subsided one cop asked me if I was was "with her". I began to explain the situation but after a few words he suddenly screamed at me "ARE YOU WITH HER!!" I again tried to explain but he stepped very close and screamed again "I'M ASKING YOU, ARE YOU WITH HER!!!" At this point I completely shut down and said nothing. Two women who had been watching began to cry and pleaded with the officer, "He was just trying to help!" Then he turned back to me and I just said quietly, "No I am not with her."

He left me alone for a minute when the paramedics came, but then returned and said: "Hey buddy, I know you're ok I just don't take shit from anyone, you know?" It was totally bizarre. When he was screaming at me I felt like he could have done anything. I also felt that he was on something. He was terribly aggressive for no reason. And the whole time his partner acted like nothing was happening. The cop was a white male in his 30s and I am also a white male in my 30s. [male]

3.

[I] was on the E this morning - a middle aged black dude in traditional "corporate" clothes (ID card hanging around his neck and all) walked through the sliding doors between subway cars (technically not legal). A cop in the subway car stopped him, asked for ID (ok, so far standard), and then asked him over and over if this man had ever been arrested before (no)...then asked him over and over if he'd ever gotten a ticket or citation. The dude paused and the cop immediately was like "oh, you had to think about it" - then verbally harassed him for 5 minutes about whether or not he'd ever been in trouble with the law - eventually forcing him to get off at the next stop to come with him....all for being black and walking between the subway cars - something many NY'ers do daily. [male]

4.

When I lived in Bed Stuy in 2008 I was robbed in my building lobby... After the dude left I went across the street to 7-11 and flagged down a cop. They took me to the station and put me in a car with 2 racist detectives. I gave them a physical description, 5'9" ish 30-something, dark complexion, facial hair. They proceeded to drive me and my girlfriend around the projects and harass literally every black person that was alone on the street, no one even close to the physical description I gave. I told him it was making me uncomfortable to see him harass people that aren't the ones that robbed me... He told me it doesn't matter if it wasn't him, they are all up to no good. Two days later they called me to say they think they found the guy... tall, light skinned guy with tattoos... again, not the description at all. He was like, "are you sure it's not him?" like they just wanted to have a reason to bust some other random dude. [male]

Share your story with us. Have you ever been unfairly stopped or harassed by the NYPD? Has an officer used excessive force when it was unwarranted? Email me at jason.parham@gawker.com, or post your encounter in Kinja below.

Lithuania's Got Some Talent, Mostly Knife Accidents

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Lithuania's got talent! Probably! I mean, every country must have some talent, statistically speaking (and Lithuania's Got Talent is the name of a TV show, which definitely makes it true). But the particular talent Lithuania has is not knife throwing, as the assistant in this knife-throwing act learned from bloody, bloody experience.

The person who put this clip on YouTube helpfully lists every moment where the ostensibly talented knife-chucker fucked up, either due to incompetence, performance anxiety, or burning envy at his assistant's glorious head of hair:

1.17 - slightly cuts a finger.

1.30 - almost hits another one.

3.15 - 1-2cm from death

That last one nearly took out an eye, but the human target got away with a mere knife handle to the side of the head.

It could almost be a joke, except that no one was laughing, and the contestant could be seen smearing his victim's blood into the stage with his boot.

"These things are not new. Minor trauma is an integral part of learning ... After all, sport is full of injuries," said Lithuania's Got Talent judge Saul Urbonavičius-Sam.

Needless to say, the knife act did not make it through to Sunday's super-final.

[h/t Daily Dot]

Jared Leto: Still No Haircut

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Jared Leto: Still No Haircut

On December 24th, 2014, Jared Leto posted an old photo of Jared Leto with a haircut to his Instagram, which he captioned "Haircut. #2015." Interesting. However, he has not yet gotten a haircut.

How do I know? Good question. I know because he tweeted a photo of himself without a haircut. See for yourself:

"Haircut. #2015." he wrote on December 24th. No haircut yet, though.

[image via Getty]

I Can't Stop Watching These Bizarro-World TV Show Opening Credits

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I've got Friends, you've got Friends/Let's put our Friends together/All those friends in one bed/Makin' love forever/Rachel, Monica, Phoebe, Joey/Rachel, Monica, Phoebe, Joey/Chandler, Chandler, Chandler (Ross)/Chandler, Chandler, Chandler (Ross)

Above, the lyrics to "Friends Opening Theme (Full Version)," one of an astounding 70 surreal alternate-universe TV title credit songs composed and recorded by a YouTuber who goes by dotflist. The songs—for a gamut of shows including The Office, Parks and Recreation, Girls, Game of Thrones, and Pokémon—are fully disguised, with no indication that what you're about to watch isn't the actual opening theme you searched for until you press play. They are also funny as hell.

Often, the lyrics to a dotflist theme will simply give a straightforward account of the premise of its attendant show. Take Girls.

A bunch of twentysomethings living in New York (they won't leave for no reason)

They work shitty jobs, do coke and all the time (mom and dad would be so mad)

They say funny things, fuckin' funny things (witty banter is so good)

It's called Girls

Other times, they add a left-field twist. Every single show in dotflist's bizarro world airs on HBO, and the theme songs are peppered with references to the network ("Live your life without a care, don't be a square/'Cause you already know the show's on HBO/Get in the park, open your heart/It's Parks and Recreation"). In The Simpsons, Bart, an alcoholic, is married to Marge, and the pair gives birth to Homer and twin girls Maggie and Lisa. The only constant is the absolute and saccharine earnestness with which the lead singer delivers his lines.

The internet is littered with homespun content that "remixes" pop culture, and most of it is cynical garbage created with the hope that familiar source material might help it hit the front page of Reddit or get posted on some content-starved blog. Dotflist's videos, though here they are on the pages of a content-starved blog, are different. They're smart, and genuinely funny, and probably too weird to go viral, anyway.

"Seinfeld Full Intro HD," his latest, was uploaded today. Watch that and some other highlights below, or a playlist of all 70 videos here.

Shia LaBeouf Cage-Battles Dance Moms Child in New Sia Video

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The music video for Australian singer-songwriter Sia's single "Elastic Heart" has just been released and features star performances from famous Australian dancers Shia LaBeouf and one of the Dance Moms girls (fan favorite Maddie). Shia plays 12-year-old Maddie's father, pet, or love interest, depending on your interpretation of the wild, nearly-nude cage dance the two perform for five mesmerizing minutes.

With the intentions and vision of Sia left unknown, we can only guess as to what this dance is meant to portray. The major plot points are as follows.

Maddie (in wig) and Shia (in filthy underpants) begin their dance with individual displays of strength. She performs the perfect heel stretch rendered involuntary by Abby Lee Miller; he stands up very straight.

Shia LaBeouf Cage-Battles Dance Moms Child in New Sia Video

At first, slight Maddie appears to have the physical advantage over Shia.

Shia LaBeouf Cage-Battles Dance Moms Child in New Sia Video

But then he scales the cage and performs one Presidential Health Fitness Platinum Award-level pull-up.

Shia LaBeouf Cage-Battles Dance Moms Child in New Sia Video

The two study one another horizontally.

Shia LaBeouf Cage-Battles Dance Moms Child in New Sia Video

And Maddie teethes violently.

Shia LaBeouf Cage-Battles Dance Moms Child in New Sia Video

Finally, Maddie strikes Shia's face three times with her fist, each blow revealing a distinct, terrifying expression on his bearded, glistening face.

Shia LaBeouf Cage-Battles Dance Moms Child in New Sia Video

A beautiful, inscrutable story made more impenetrable by dance. Congratulations to Maddie, whose entire 11-and-a-half year career has been leading up to this moment.


Is It Too Late to Get a Flu Shot?

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Is It Too Late to Get a Flu Shot?

Dear Lifehacker,
It seems like everyone I know is sick, and I can't afford the time off work if I come down with something. I'm trying to eat and sleep well and wash my hands often, but now I'm regretting that I didn't get a flu shot this year. Is it too late?

Sincerely,
Flu Fighter

Dear Flu Fighter,
If you didn't get around to that flu shot in the fall, or if you let the news about the drifted flu strain scare you off, let's get the facts straight: As long as the flu is still circulating, it's never too late for a flu shot, and it's still worthwhile even when the vaccine isn't a perfect match.

Take a look at the Centers for Disease Control's data on flu activity so far this season. There's clearly a lot of flu that hasn't happened yet. In most years, flu activity peaks around February, although every season is a little different. The flu shot takes about two weeks to take effect, so the sooner you get it, the better. That's why it's best to get the shot before flu season starts—you'll be protected by the time it rolls into your neighborhood. (That two-week window also explains why people sometimes feel like the flu shot gave them the flu, or that it didn't protect them: if you came down with the flu in that two-week window, the shot didn't have enough time to take effect.)

But what about this year's mismatch between the strains in the vaccine and the ones circulating? Take another look at that graph. Mentally add the red and yellow bars together; those are the "A" strains. Of the samples of flu snot (yes, really) the CDC tested, 48% matched what was in the shot. They didn't report a mismatch for the B strains, so it's likely they were on target. That means the shot still protects against about half, maybe more than half, of what's circulating.

So you can be protected against half the flu germs out there, for free (psst—here is a handy flu shot locator), or you can stay home and take your chances with either getting the flu yourself or harboring it long enough to pass on to others. It's a no-brainer.

One last word about the myth that if you're healthy, you don't need the shot: The people at highest risk of flu complications are kids under 5, old folks over 65, pregnant women, people with asthma or diabetes or pretty much any serious health issues, like heart disease and cancer. If you have any of these people in your life, your flu can become their flu.

Sincerely,
Lifehacker

Why You Really Need a Flu Shot (Even Though the Vaccine Isn't Great) | WBUR


Have a question or suggestion for Ask Lifehacker? Send it to tips+asklh@lifehacker.com.

Photo by U.S. Army Corps of Engineers Europe District.

Vitals is a new blog from Lifehacker all about health and fitness. Follow us on Twitter here.

Newspapers Are Censoring Their Photos of Charlie Hebdo Mohammad Cartoons

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At least three English-language outlets—the New York Daily News, the London-based Daily Telegraph, and the Associated Pressare either pixelating or completely deleting photos of Charlie Hebdo cartoons depicting Mohammad. Members of the satirical magazine’s Paris staff were gunned down this morning by masked attackers. As BuzzFeed points out, other Western outlets such as CNN have taken similar steps in the past when reporting on controversial depictions of the most prominent prophet in Islam.

Below is a GIF comparing the Daily News’ photo to the original, which was pulled from Getty Images. It depicts slain Charlie Hebdo editor Stephane Charbonnier standing in front of his magazine’s office after it was firebombed in 2011:

Newspapers Are Censoring Their Photos of Charlie Hebdo Mohammad Cartoons

(What exactly the Daily News deems worthy of pixelation is unclear. In 2012 it pixelated part of a different Charlie cover depicting a rabbi pushing an imam in a wheelchair; only the imam was obscured.)

Below is another GIF comparing the Telegraph’s photo to its original, which was also pulled from Getty Images. Dated June 2013, it depicts a woman reading a different issue of Charlie Hebdo; it was eventually removed from the paper’s website.

Newspapers Are Censoring Their Photos of Charlie Hebdo Mohammad Cartoons

The Associated Press, by contrast, has taken even more severe steps. Several hours ago, photos that showed the magazine’s Mohammad cartoons were made available on their extensive wire photo database. However an AP spokesperson later told BuzzFeed’s Rosie Gray that the photos were mistakenly uploaded and that “it’s been our policy for years that we refrain from moving deliberately provocative images.” The photos in question have since been deleted.

A set of Muslim teachings called hadith forbid visual representations of Mohammad. The same teachings also prohibit artistic representations of living beings.

Gawker published several of the cartoons here.

How to Make Your Willpower Stronger -- According to Science

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How to Make Your Willpower Stronger -- According to Science

The holiday season is over, so it's time to get serious about your New Year's resolutions. But those fine intentions are only as good as your self-control. Here's what you need to know about the neuroscience of willpower — and what you can do to make your will even stronger.

Illustration by Tara Jacoby

Willpower, or self-control, is defined as the exertion of control over the self by the self. It occurs when a person tries to change the way they would otherwise think, feel, or behave. Ideally, these behaviors are intended to maximize or enhance our best interests. It's also powerfully adaptive.

When we exercise self-control, we delay gratification and resist temptation in the here-and-now to avoid self-destructive behaviors. So, by holding off on that cheesecake, or by putting a few extra dollars into your savings account instead of making an impulse purchase, you're exerting self-control. And you're making your life better or more healthy in the long term.

A Limited Resource

Before we talk about the various ways to boost our willpower, it's important to know how and why it becomes diminished. The general consensus is that the brain can only handle a limited amount of self-regulation before other areas of focus start to slip. As the seminal work of Florida State University psychologist Roy Baumeister has shown, it's basically a limited resource; like fuel, it gets used up when we control our thoughts, impulses, or feelings, or when we change our behavior in pursuit of goals.

How to Make Your Willpower Stronger -- According to Science

Cookies or radishes? The choice to resist taxes our willpower. Image: Pixabay/CC

Studies show that when we successfully accomplish one task that requires determined focus, we become less persistent on a second unrelated task. In an interesting experiment, hungry participants were asked to eat radishes while others were given aromatic chocolate chip cookies. Afterwards, those who were asked to eat the radishes — i.e. those who had to exert willpower — gave up on a complicated puzzle far earlier than the others, working less than half as long.

A follow-up study by Baumeister's protégé, Jean Twenge, yielded similar results. He had participants decide which of amongst numerous products (pens or candles, black or red t-shirts) they'd prefer to receive. Following that exercise, their willpower was tested by having them hold their hand in an ice-water bath. Compared to participants who merely gave their opinion of the same products and reported how often they had used those items in the past month, those who had to choose which item they desired had a much-diminished ability to hold their hands under water.

Part of the problem is that willpower requires a relentless and seemingly endless stream of decision-making. This results in "decision fatigue," a phenomenon that works to diminish self-control.

Back in 2000, a study considered how the number of choices might influence purchasing behavior of a variety of jams. When participants encountered a booth with 24 jams, as opposed to just six, they were more likely to stop to try the jams. However, in both cases, participants ended up sampling between one and two jams, on average — and moreover, people who stopped at the limited choice booth were much more likely to actually buy jam than people who stopped at the extensive choice booth. The study suggests that people don't do well when they're presented with too many choices; it's simply too exhausting, and it wears down our ability to exert power over our behavior.

Conversely, a recent study found that a strong belief in free will can make decision-making more enjoyable, and can increase our satisfaction with choices after we've made them. It can even make us more productive.

Also, watching reruns can actually help us restore willpower. A SUNY Buffalo study showed that familiar shows serve as a form of "social surrogacy." Previous work has suggested that positive social interactions can restore depleted willpower. And because reruns are predictable (and not fraught with the stress of negative social interactions), they can actually provide beneficial effects to not just self-control, but to concentration and mood as well.

In light of this, Baumeister coined the term "ego depletion." The ego, he says, has a finite capacity to control the id and superego, which is something Freud talked about a century ago.

Writing in the New York Times, John Tierney puts it well when he says:

These experiments demonstrated that there is a finite store of mental energy for exerting self-control. When people fended off the temptation to scarf down M&M's or freshly baked chocolate-chip cookies, they were then less able to resist other temptations. When they forced themselves to remain stoic during a tearjerker movie, afterward they gave up more quickly on lab tasks requiring self-discipline, like working on a geometry puzzle or squeezing a hand-grip exerciser. Willpower turned out to be more than a folk concept or a metaphor. It really was a form of mental energy that could be exhausted.

These experiments appear to confirm the 19th century notion that willpower is like a muscle that fatigues with overuse, but one that can be conserved by avoiding temptation.

Your Ego Is What You Eat

Interestingly, self-control has also been linked to diet, which is interesting when you consider the common complaint made by many people about how they lack the willpower to resist overeating.

How to Make Your Willpower Stronger -- According to Science

Image: Pixabay/CC

Back in 2011, an Israeli study looked at 1,112 judicial rulings made over 50 days in a 10-month period by eight judges regarding whether to grant prisoners parole. Revealingly — if not disturbingly — judges were far more likely to grant parole early in the day, right after eating a meal, versus later in the day, a few hours after their last meal.

This work fits in remarkably well with other studies showing that decision fatigue might be attributable to a depletion of glucose in the brain — a finding that squares very well with dieters' struggles to not binge eat when food-deprived. Indeed, M. T. Galliot has shown that self-control relies on glucose as a limited energy source, and that "willpower is more than a metaphor."

Willpower, says Stanford psychologist Kelly McGonigal, is similar to stress, but acts in a distinct way. It calms the body down to focus on intentional decision-making, and sends extra energy to the prefrontal cortex. The brain, she says, enters into two modes: the impulsive self and expansive self. McGonigal recommends focusing on something (to achieve flow) to distance ourselves from negative thinking. At the same time, mind-wandering is detrimental (which may be analogous to having too many choices). Willpower can thus be thought of as a muscle, albeit a metaphorical one; practicing can make it easier, as can meditation and physical exercise.

Indeed, as Robert Sapolsky points out in a Wall Street Journal article, the brain requires boat loads of energy. At rest it sucks up about 25% of our circulating glucose, despite comprising only 3% of our body weight. When the "cognitive load" is increased in our prefrontal cortex, we exhibit less self-control on subsequent tasks; our circulating glucose levels plummet. At the same time, however, our self-control improves if we sip sugary drinks during the task. Sapolsky points to the recent work of Ohio State University psychologist Brad Bushman:

Volunteer married couples had their blood sugar levels monitored daily for weeks. Each evening participants rated the level of any anger they were feeling toward their spouse. Subjects indicated their level of anger through the number of pins they'd put into a voodoo doll representing their spouse. The unorthodox measurement technique showed that when blood glucose levels were lower, people tended to stick in more pins.

Does this relationship between glucose levels and aggressive impulses translate into person-to-person behavior as well? Couples, seated in different rooms, next played a competitive computer game that ended with the loser getting a blast of unpleasant noise. Participants would decide how loud a noise their spouse would be pummeled with—up to 105 decibels. Once again, the lower the glucose levels, the louder and longer the noise inflicted on loved ones.

These results appear to demonstrate the effects of low blood glucose on willpower and judgment.

Work by Todd Heatherton has shown the neurological effects of ego depletion. Looking at brain scans, he showed that self-control causes the brain's nucleus accumbens — the brain's reward center — to light up, along with a corresponding decrease in activity in the amygdala, the part of the brain that helps us control impulses. Caltech neuroscientist Antonio Rangel has used fMRIs to highlight the areas of the brain responsible for decision making; his team found that the ventromedial prefrontal cortex (bottom, middle PFC) encodes the value of objects, like the tastiness of a piece of cake. The dorsolateral PFC (top and side) houses self-control centers. His team also discovered that people exhibiting higher self-control in a task also had more activation of DLPFC.

Revealingly, Heatherton also showed that the delivery of glucose reverses brain changes caused by depletion. As summarized by Tierny:

Apparently ego depletion causes activity to rise in some parts of the brain and to decline in others. Your brain does not stop working when glucose is low. It stops doing some things and starts doing others. It responds more strongly to immediate rewards and pays less attention to long-term prospects.

So, in order not to eat, a dieter needs willpower. But in order to have willpower, a dieter needs to eat. Moreover, our stimulation-filled modern lives may be inflicting us with ego depletion and decision fatigue at rates far higher than what our paleolithic ancestors had to deal with; we're not evolutionarily primed for this bombardment. As Baumeister has said, "The best decision makers are the ones who know when not to trust themselves." Thus, a good idea is to to be aware of decision fatigue and divert our thoughts to something else if we hope to succeed in resisting temptation.

All this said, not everyone buys into the glucose hypothesis. Writing in his blog, psychologist Robert Kurzban says that the amount of glucose in the bloodstream is not directly associated with the amount of glucose in the brain and that this is all a relic of the ideas of the 19th and early 20th century regarding the mind. He quotes Van den Berg from a 1986 paper:

Descriptions of behavioral acts or activities using a terminology in which concepts like energy play a major role are very likely based on a false analogy. The assumption that the brain is a machine like the muscles, albeit more complex, is ill-founded. Once we have developed a theory of the dynamics of behavior in which no traces remain of nineteenth century conceptual frameworks of energetics many of our current problems will vanish. We will not then be misled by the term mental energy, nor will we advise someone to take sugar when he or she complains of being tired after writing a paper!

Subsequently, Kurzban argues that the "right answer to the question about why exerting willpower is hard is not going to be packets of sugar."

Consistent Throughout Life

The neurological basis of willpower is further enforced by a long-term study adopted by Cornell University psychobiologist B. J. Casey. His work is a continuation of a Stanford experiment conducted back in the 1960s when psychologists (very famously) subjected 4-year-old children to a very demanding test. The kids were placed in a small room with a marshmallow and were told they could either eat the treat immediately, or they could have a second one if they waited 15 minutes until the researcher returned. Most children waited, but some failed to make it all the way through the entire 15 excruciating minutes.

Here's a recent reprisal of the experiment:

Fascinatingly, follow-up studies showed that the so-called "high delayers" (i.e. those who exerted more self-control) were less likely to have behavioral problems and addiction and weight issues later in life as compared to "low delayers" (i.e. the kids who ate the treats in less than a minute). Not only that, high-delayers scored an average of 210 points higher on their SATs.

Recent work by Casey on the same group of individuals 40 years later is offering even more insight. His work shows that our willpower is consistent throughout our entire lives. Self-control tests both with and without emotional "hot cues" showed that, "Individuals who were less able to delay gratification in preschool and consistently showed low self-control abilities in their twenties and thirties performed more poorly than did high delayers when having to suppress a response..."

As summarized by Maia Szalavitz in TIME, after performing brain scans on the 26 participants, the researchers found that

high delayers showed more activity than low delayers in a region of the prefrontal cortex associated with impulse and behavior control, particularly while completing the task involving emotionally charged expressions. Meanwhile, low delayers showed more activation of a deeper region of the brain associated with pleasure, desire and addiction, especially in response to the happy faces.

You might say that high delayers have better mental brakes, while low delayers are driven by a stronger engine. "The low delayers don't tend to activate the prefrontal cortex as much as the high delayers do. The high delayers are very effective at being able to regulate their behavior and not activating this deep system," Casey says. "There's not as much of a push-and-pull for the high delayers."

Importantly, low delayers don't lack general intelligence. And in fact, they have traits that are deemed important to society. "In uncertain times," says Szalavitz, "delaying gratification can be the wrong choice, and people who follow their emotional impulses can become great explorers or entrepreneurs." At the same time, however, and as illustrated by the long-term 'marshmallow' study, low delayers can also get into serious trouble.

Quick Tips

To summarize, here are some things you can do to boost your willpower:

  • Simply be aware that you're using your willpower on an ongoing basis and that you're being confronted with a steady stream of decision-making
  • Because decision-making is fatiguing, your ability to make good decisions will be compromised by (1) an excess of choices and (2) low energy (i.e. low glucose) levels; thus, try to limit the number of choices whenever possible, reduce the number of "critical" decisions you have to make on a daily basis, and boost your brain with a sugary drink (you don't even have to swallow the drink — just swish it around and spit it out)
  • Focus on a singular task or problem to achieve "flow" and avoid negative thinking
  • Avoid mind-wandering
  • Divert your thoughts away from potential temptations
  • Accept that you have more free will than you think
  • When facing a task that requires lots of self-control, you'll have more willpower if you choose to re-watch shows/films or re-read familiar books
  • Meditate and do physical exercise
  • Strengthen your willpower as if it were a muscle (e.g. brush your teeth wrong-handed)

Additional reporting by Levi Gadye.

Other sources: American Psychological Association | New York Times | Slate | Time

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Victoria's Secret

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Here's a story behind a story. The British papers and their extensions in the United States, which include the Drudge Report, are in a predictable excitement over a minor royal's relationship with a woman who claims she was an under-age sex slave. Bill Clinton is also involved, which provides a tangential but convenient connection to the American presidential electoral cycle.

Victoria's Secret

Despite the lurid headlines, there is nothing much surprising or novel about this: little other news is breaking, other than the end of the world, according to a canned videotape that CNN has prepared for such an eventuality.

Drudge has his banner headline. A rather hopeless sounding civil suit is given another faint gust of publicity, with no other winds blowing. A middle-aged man accustomed to privilege is accused, not for the first time, of enjoying the hospitality of a social-climbing and free-spending lover of young girls at parties. Whoopde.

That one of the figures is Prince Andrew, fifth-in-line to the throne and falling down the rankings like his country, adds to the interest but not to the surprise: Queen Victoria's great-great-grandson is better known than his lesser siblings largely because he once dated a soft-core porn star. And his ex-wife became in her financial desperation the face of Weight Watchers. There was that too.

Prince Andy — which is how he was introduced by the host of these parties in Palm Beach, Andy — was a friend of Jeffrey Epstein, the man at the center of this sex scandal. So good a friend that they were snapped together in Central Park after the financier's disgrace and at the time of the Prince's own, related embarrassment. Judgment was never Prince Andrew's strong suit.

The proud stolidity of the House of Windsor is remarkable for its continuity, but hardly surprising. There's a curious wrinkle to the story, a story behind the story, that I've always found more interesting.

For the founder of Victoria Secret seems to be the money behind these parties. And yet he had no known interest in such entertainment: Leslie Wexner, now 77 years old, is an Ohio-based retailer, a momma's boy who married unusually late and devotes his most recent public affections to Ohio State University, Mitt Romney and Israel. Why would he fund Jeffrey Epstein's extravagant hospitality, and lifestyle?

Vicky Ward, author of a 2003 Vanity Fair profile of Jeffrey Epstein, got closest to the question. As she's acknowledged more recently, she skipped over the allegations that Jeffrey Epstein and his guests had slept with underage girls, and focused instead on "the issue that remains a mystery — how Jeffrey made his money".

I don't have any inside information or real connection. A blonde Swedish friend, whom I knew after I first moved to New York in 2002, went to Jeffrey Epstein's parties; I remember I hoped she'd take me along, that's how little I understood. After his fall, Epstein cut a beleaguered figure at Peggy Siegal's movie screenings.

My father won a prize when he was 16 years old and went down from a grim industrial town in the North to meet Andy's mother, before she became Queen. He's a European and a republican now, but still remembers that year as the pinnacle of his life. (No wonder I fled.)

No, this speculation is based almost entirely on a reading of Vicky Ward's profile, which I recommend. It's most interesting between the lines. But first her description of the 51,000-square-foot townhouse where Epstein held court:

The entrance hall is decorated not with paintings but with row upon row of individually framed eyeballs; these, the owner tells people with relish, were imported from England, where they were made for injured soldiers. Next comes a marble foyer, which does have a painting, in the manner of Jean Dubuffet … but the host coyly refuses to tell visitors who painted it. In any case, guests are like pygmies next to the nearby twice-life-size sculpture of a naked African warrior.

Upstairs, to the right of a spiral staircase, is the "office," an enormous gallery spanning the width of the house. Strangely, it holds no computer. Computers belong in the "computer room" (a smaller room at the back of the house), Epstein has been known to say. The office features a gilded desk (which Epstein tells people belonged to banker J. P. Morgan), 18th-century black lacquered Portuguese cabinets, and a nine-foot ebony Steinway "D" grand. On the desk, a paperback copy of the Marquis de Sade's The Misfortunes of Virtue was recently spotted. Covering the floor, Epstein has explained, "is the largest Persian rug you'll ever see in a private home—so big, it must have come from a mosque." Amid such splendor, much of which reflects the work of the French decorator Alberto Pinto, who has worked for Jacques Chirac and the royal families of Jordan and Saudi Arabia, there is one particularly startling oddity: a stuffed black poodle, standing atop the grand piano. "No decorator would ever tell you to do that," Epstein brags to visitors. "But I want people to think what it means to stuff a dog." People can't help but feel it's Epstein's way of saying that he always has the last word.

In addition to the town house, Epstein lives in what is reputed to be the largest private dwelling in New Mexico, on an $18 million, 7,500-acre ranch which he named "Zorro." "It makes the town house look like a shack," Epstein has said. He also owns Little St. James, a 70-acre island in the U.S. Virgin Islands, where the main house is currently being renovated by Edward Tuttle, a designer of the Amanresorts. There is also a $6.8 million house in Palm Beach, Florida, and a fleet of aircraft: a Gulfstream IV, a helicopter, and a Boeing 727, replete with trading room, on which Epstein recently flew President Clinton, actors Chris Tucker and Kevin Spacey, supermarket magnate Ron Burkle, Lew Wasserman's grandson, Casey Wasserman, and a few others, on a mission to explore the problems of AIDS and economic development in Africa.

At the time Ward writes, Epstein not only has access to all this real estate; he employs the daughter of a notorious British press baron, and a retinue of young masseuses; he entertains friends and does extensive favors for them. That's an expensive lifestyle.

His income comes from managing money for clients. But only three clients or patrons are identified: one later claims his net worth never exceeded $4.5m, and another could not have long funded Epstein, because the client's Ponzi scheme collapsed back in 1993.

The only significant, consistent and identifiable source of funds is Les Wexner, chairman and CEO of L Brands, which controls Victoria Secret and Bath & Body Works. Wexner is one of those single-digit billionaires. The lingerie brand and chain is a powerful franchise.

Wexner is the only identified client of Epstein. At least at one point he owned the Manhattan mansion in which Epstein threw those parties for scientists and politicians, which he leavens with strangely-accented models, my Swedish friend, who merely looked and sounded like one — and Andy. And they're close, Epstein saying: "People have said it's like we have one brain between two of us: each has a side."

Epstein's acknowledged services to Wexner are thin. To Vanity Fair, he claims to trade in foreign exchange markets, though it's not clear how that fits with a declared strategy of wealth preservation tailored to the prudent billionaire. The forex market is liquid, and I presume more anonymous as a result, but Vicky Ward can't find anyone who knows him in the market. Whatever services he provides as a fixer must be extraordinary.

So we're left with this: a self-made Jewish shopkeeper, hard-working child of Russian Jewish immigrants, close to his mother and never married, meets an erudite investment banker who looks like a movie star and plays so well the part of Jewish boy arrived in Society. But this Platonic partner is obsessed by young girls, and that's his undoing.

Vicky Ward calls her subject The Talented Mr Epstein, a reference to the anti-hero of Patricia Highsmith's novels, who covets another's life. You might know the movie by Anthony Minghella, with Matt Damon as Highsmith's Tom Ripley. 2003's Jeffrey Epstein is the man whom he becomes, golden and charming, modeled on Jude Law. But the awkward striver of the start of the movie, who by the end is locked in a dark room with his secret, is the other half of The Talented Mr Epstein: Les Wexner.

Eastern U.S. Braces for Dangerously Cold Temperatures Tonight and Thurs.

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Eastern U.S. Braces for Dangerously Cold Temperatures Tonight and Thurs.

After more than a week of warning, a frigid Arctic airmass is finally sweeping across the eastern half of the United States. Tonight and tomorrow, dangerously cold temperatures will encase the country from the Plains to the Atlantic and down to the Gulf of Mexico. This will probably—hopefully—be the coldest air we'll see this winter.

The airmass is so potent that it will flood down into Mexico and Florida—in fact, wind chill advisories are in effect for almost the entire eastern half of the country, stretching from northern Minnesota to southern Texas and from northern Maine to southern Florida. While it won't be as brutal as what we saw last year, temperatures will bottom out more than 20 degrees below normal in many spots overnight tonight and during the day tomorrow. Many people in the south, especially, are not equipped (clothing- and heating-wise) to deal with this kind of cold weather.

The Setup

Eastern U.S. Braces for Dangerously Cold Temperatures Tonight and Thurs.

As I've reiterated for the past week, people are incorrectly calling this "the second coming of the polar vortex." The cold snap is influenced by the polar vortex, but it's nothing like what we experienced last year. The polar vortex is a persistent, large-scale cyclonic circulation in the upper levels of the atmosphere that sits over (or near) the North Pole. The circulation acts like a moat that keeps cold air confined to the far northern latitudes; when the circulation breaks down and becomes wavy or splits into several different upper-level lows, it can allow that cold, Arctic air to spill south into North America.

Last year, the main circulation in the polar vortex dove south and sat over the Great Lakes for a couple of days, bringing that horrendously cold weather that many of us remember. This year, the main circulation of the polar vortex is sitting between Greenland and Canada, centered over a large island in eastern Nunavut known as Baffin Island. As you'll see in a second, temperatures underneath the polar vortex's circulation are going to be unimaginably cold tonight—down to -50°F in some higher spots in northern Quebec.

Eastern U.S. Braces for Dangerously Cold Temperatures Tonight and Thurs.

A deep upper-level trough extending off of this circulation is cutting its way across the eastern half of the United States and Canada, allowing bitterly cold air to spill south. The above animation shows the jet stream at the 300 millibar level of the atmosphere (the height jets usually fly)—contours show heights in decameters, while the shading shows the jet stream's winds in knots. The animation runs from 7:00 AM EST today until 1:00 PM EST tomorrow.

It's a little hard to see everything because the map is so busy, but the closed contours near the top-right part of the map is the polar vortex over Baffin Island. The sharp dip in contours and shading across the eastern U.S. and Canada (all the way down to the Florida Keys) is the trough extending off the upper-level low, allowing the cold air to spill south for a day or two.

Temperatures

Eastern U.S. Braces for Dangerously Cold Temperatures Tonight and Thurs.

The coldest weather will remain along the Canadian border across interior parts of New England, where lows tonight will bottom out between -20°F and -30°F in many locations. This region is under a wind chill warning, as gusty winds will make those brutal temperatures feel as cold as -45°F on exposed skin. Frostbite will develop in a matter of minutes in temperatures and wind chills that extreme, and hypothermia will also develop if one is outdoors for a prolonged period of time without the proper protection.

Subzero lows are also a good bet across the western and southern Great Lakes region, with single-digit-below-zero lows expected from Ohio to the north and west through the Dakotas. Elsewhere, low temperatures in the single digits (above zero) are likely from New Jersey southwest through Tennessee and west through the Plains.

Temperatures down to freezing are possible as far south as Tampa, Florida. Tomorrow's record low temperature for Tampa is 28°F set back in 1970. The record low in Mobile, Alabama for January 8 is 19°F, which was set during last year's apocalyptic panic-a-thon; tonight's forecast low for Mobile is 18°F, which will be a new record for the date if the forecast verifies. Again, this cold outbreak is neither unprecedented nor the worst we've ever seen, but it's still a shock to the system for people who aren't used to such cold weather.

Highs will struggle to climb above freezing during the day on Thursday for many locations outside the Deep South.

Wind Chills

Eastern U.S. Braces for Dangerously Cold Temperatures Tonight and Thurs.

The threat of wind chills cannot be understated. Much like the heat index conveys the danger of combined heat and humidity (well, really dew point) on your body, the wind chill combines temperature and wind speed to tell you how cold the air will feel on your skin. Moving air helps to cool surfaces down more quickly (think: blowing on hot food before you eat it), and wind on an extremely cold day causes greater heat loss than you would otherwise experience if the air were perfectly still.

Say you're standing outside on a -10°F morning with a 25 MPH sustained wind, and your face is completely exposed to the elements. -10°F is cold enough, but the combined effect of that numbing airmass and the 25 MPH wind makes it feel like the air temperature is -37°F. Standing outside with a -10°F air temperature and a 25 MPH wind has the same effect on your exposed skin as a -37°F air temperature. Frostbite will begin to develop in just 10 minutes under those conditions.

Eastern U.S. Braces for Dangerously Cold Temperatures Tonight and Thurs.

Wind chills at 5:00 AM will be in the low teens as far south as northern Florida, with readings far below zero the farther north you go. Again, interior parts of the Northeast will see wind chill readings approaching -45°F during the worst cold tomorrow morning. Anyone caught outside—especially the homeless and those who work outside—who aren't wearing proper clothing will develop frostbite in less than an hour, and possibly even hypothermia in the worst cases.

The Day After Tomorrow

Eastern U.S. Braces for Dangerously Cold Temperatures Tonight and Thurs.

What happens after Thursday? The cold will stick around for at least five days, but moderate a little with each successive day. The GFS model, pictured above, paints subzero lows on Saturday morning from the upper Midwest into Pennsylvania, with single digits across the major I-95 cities in the Northeast. It will get better as we head into the middle of the month. Both the European and GFS models indicate that most of the next two weeks will feature temperatures at or above normal, with a few short-lived cold shots spliced in between.

It's great to see January acting like January should, even if temperatures are on the extreme side of the equation. It'll get better, and if you're counting, there are only 72 days until astronomical spring.

[Images (in order): Tropical Tidbits, NWS, WeatherBELL x2, NWS x2, WeatherBELL]


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