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Google Betrays Uber, And Now It's War

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Google Betrays Uber, And Now It's War

Remember how Eric Schmidt spent years sitting on the Apple board, quietly learning everything about the iPhone — and then, presto, Google suddenly came out with Android and it looked a whole lot like the iPhone operating system and Steve Jobs went nuts on Schmidt for being such a sneaky, backstabbing son of a bitch?

Well, Google just snuck up on another victim. This time it's Uber.

BusinessWeek reports that Google has been tinkering with its own ride service, only with Google the service will run on self-driving cars, which means it will be way cheaper and better than Uber, and will present much less chance of getting assaulted by your driver.

You didn't think Google was just making those crazy little robot cars just for fun, did you? Widespread rollout might be a few years away, but Googlers are already using the service, supposedly. And Uber has seen screenshots of the app.

What makes this a lot more interesting and backstabby is that Google has been an investor in Uber, which has given Google access to all sorts of inside information about Uber. Worse, Google's chief counsel, David Drummond, has been on Uber's board of directors since 2013. Now Uber is thinking about throwing Drummond off the board, and so they should!http://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/...

Meanwhile Uber is now desperately racing to catch up by making its own self-driving cars. According to TechCrunch, Uber just gutted the legendary robotics department at Carnegie Mellon University to get them cranking on an autonomous car for Uber.

This might be a case of too little too late. Google has a huge head start. Moreover, Uber depends on Google Maps. So breaking off from Google would mean not only creating autonomous cars but also finding a new maps partner.

The only question now is this: Does Google buy Uber, or just kill it?


Rand Paul Also Has an Idiot Opinion About Vaccines

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Rand Paul Also Has an Idiot Opinion About Vaccines

Not content to let Chris Christie dominate the national hypocrite conversation Monday, Rand Paul—a certified doctor who vaccinated his own children—said he believes there's a link between vaccines and "profound mental disorders."

Via NBC:

In an interview with the network Monday, Paul said that vaccines are "a good thing" but that parents "should have some input" into whether or not their children must get them.

And he gave credence to the idea - disputed by the majority of the scientific community - that vaccination can lead to mental disabilities.

"I have heard of many tragic cases of walking, talking normal children who wound up with profound mental disorders after vaccines," he said.

That freedom to allow one's child to host a debilitating and highly contagious disease is already paying off—the CDC says more than 100 people contracted measles after an unvaccinated kid went on vacation to Disney World last month.

Paul, who again, went to medical school and vaccinated his own children, said his piece on Laura Ingraham's radio show Monday. The quotes were distributed the same day by the Democratic National Committee, which is reportedly thrilled about the prospect of the Republican candidates stooping to anti-vaccination conspiracy theory campaigns.

[image via AP]

Robin Williams' Family Divided in Fight Over His Estate

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Robin Williams' Family Divided in Fight Over His Estate

Robin Williams' widow and children have been fighting over his personal belongings in a contentious legal battle for months, according to court documents.

According to the New York Times, Williams—who committed suicide on Aug. 11—left the majority of his estate to his three children from previous marriages, Zak, Zelda and Cody Williams. He also left them "clothing, jewelry, personal photos taken prior to his marriage to Susan," and his "memorabilia and awards in the entertainment industry."

A second trust gave Susan Schneider Williams—his wife of three years—the couple's home in Tiburon, California, some of the personal property within the home, and money for "all costs related to the residence."

Now Susan is in court claiming that third provision should be construed to cover "all expenses associated with daily upkeep as well as unexpected renovations and improvements"—money that would come out of the children's share.

In the meantime, Williams' children claim, Susan has refused to allow them to collect the personal belongings left to them in the will, challenged the trust's definition of certain words, and started expensive renovations on her home. Via the Times:

Her lawyers say in the court papers that, in September, she was given only three days' notice by the trustees of the main trust of their intention to remove home items they believed had been bequeathed to the children.

Mrs. Williams, asserting that she "became frightened of the co-trustees invading her home," blocked their access.

The children countered that Mrs. Williams has continued to block their access to the Tiburon home, even as she has allowed others inside. Those others included appraisers who estimated the value of items that the children contend are rightfully theirs and workers who helped design and complete a $30,000 renovation, the court papers contend.

TMZ reports they're also fighting over whether the definition of "jewelry" includes watches.

Susan's lawyer told the Times her requests were like "a bucket of water in a lake" compared to the estimated $50 million estate. Williams' children say she is "adding insult to a terrible injury."

[image via AP]

This Is the Worst Super Bowl Party Picture Ever Taken

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This Is the Worst Super Bowl Party Picture Ever Taken

Last night was the Super Bowl, I guess. I heard something about a shark and stopped asking questions. But then today I was reading some celebrity gossip blogs and one of my favorite bloggers noted that Ben Affleck and Matt Damon spent the Super Bowl together... at Jimmy Kimmel's house? With... Grantland editor Bill Simmons?!? And the Mighty Mighty Bosstones, one of whom tweeted the below picture, which is what I imagine the scene at the gates of Hell to look like?

Who is the least cool person in this photo? Worst Super Bowl party ever.

Help

Aaron Schock's Interior Decorator Outs His Downton Abbey-Themed Office

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Aaron Schock's Interior Decorator Outs His Downton Abbey-Themed Office

Illinois congressman Aaron Schock's communications director had a very bad day Monday when a Washington Post reporter happened to run into Schock's extremely chatty interior decorator.

Post style reporter Ben Terris was admiring Schock's outer office—a fiery red affair reportedly adorned with golden sconces and black candles—when a staffer volunteered, for no apparent reason, that the space was inspired by the popular British period television drama, Downton Abbey.

Aaron Schock's Interior Decorator Outs His Downton Abbey-Themed Office

But then, the best part happened:

A blond woman popped out of an inner office. "Want to see the rest?" she asked.

She introduced herself as Annie Brahler, the interior decorator whose company is called Euro Trash. She guided me to Schock's private office, revealing another dramatic red room. This one with a drippy crystal chandelier, a table propped up by two eagles, a bust of Abraham Lincoln and massive arrangements of pheasant feathers.

Then, my phone rang.

It was Schock's communications director, Benjamin Cole.

"Are you taking pictures of the office?" he asked. "Who told you you could do that? . . . Okay, stay where you are. You've created a bit of a crisis in the office."

A staff member then came and asked me to please delete the photos from my phone. So started a day of back-and-forths with a congressman's office about interior design.

Cole even apparently tried to trade access to Schock to keep Terris from publishing the dirty Downton deets.

"You've got a member [of Congress] willing to talk to you about other things," Cole said on the phone. "Why sour it by rushing to write some gossipy piece?"

Schock, a popular Instagram persona, reportedly refused to discuss his design-inspo.

"He's happy to talk to you, just not about the office," Cole reportedly told Terris. "I'm really sorry and want you to know this is not fun for me."

[images via Shutterstock, AP, and PBS]

Hypothermia Race Looks Fun

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This past weekend was the running of the annual Tough Guy race in the English countryside, which touts itself as the "toughest race in the world." It looks pleasant.

The Tough Guy race features the same sort of obstacles—mud, cold water, electric shocks, more mud—as office-team-building favorites like Tough Mudder, but magnified to a far more insane level of intensity. The video clip above, filmed by a documentary team, shows James Appleton, who has won the race three times, finishing up this year (he came in third). If you've ever wondered what serious hypothermia looks like, here you are. It finishes with this exchange:

OFF CAMERA VOICE: "Will you tell me why you run this?"

SHIVERING HYPOTHERMIA-WRACKED GUY: "Uh..." [EXTREMELY LONG PAUSE MARKED BY INVOLUNTARY TWITCHING], "I don't really know any more."

Maybe just do some pushups and stuff.

Remember When Tim Allen Nearly Got a Life Sentence For Trafficking Coke?

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Remember When Tim Allen Nearly Got a Life Sentence For Trafficking Coke?

Most of America knows Tim Allen best as the genial, lovable sitcom dad from Home Improvement and his current red-state reassurance vehicle Last Man Standing. But if you were looking for coke in Kalamazoo, Michigan, in the mid-70s, you might have known Tim Allen as your drug dealer. Enough people knew him as such that in 1978 an undercover officer set up a sting operation that might have landed Allen in jail for life had he not snitched on nearly two dozen other dealers.

Allen, who was born Timothy Dick, had a fraught upbringing. In 1964, when he was 11, his father was killed in a car accident while returning from a University of Colorado football game. Two years later his family moved to Michigan, and his mom remarried. He eventually matriculated at Central Michigan University, but soon transferred to Western Michigan University, in Kalamazoo, where he would meet his first wife and, according to one biography, began dealing drugs. He graduated in 1976, and by October of 1978, he was staring at decades—if not life—in prison.

It is not difficult to find mentions of Allen's arrest on the web—there is a small paragraph about it on his Wikipedia—but details are scarce. The basic story is simple—here is a retelling from a CBS News slideshow titled "Celebrity arrests they wish they could forget":

On October 2, 1978, Tim Allen was arrested in the Kalamazoo-Battle Creek International Airport for possession of over 650 grams (1.4 lb) of cocaine. He subsequently pleaded guilty to drug trafficking, and provided the names of other dealers in exchange for a sentence of three to seven years, instead of possible life imprisonment. He was paroled on June 12, 1981 after serving 2 years and 4 months in the Federal Correctional Institution in Sandstone, Minnesota.

It's probably not true, though, that Allen wishes he could forget his arrest. He's talked about his time in prison in many interviews over the years. Here he is talking about how he matured in prison in a 1997 story in the Los Angeles Daily News:

Remember When Tim Allen Nearly Got a Life Sentence For Trafficking Coke?

In 2011, he participated in Esquire's "What I've Learned" feature, telling interviewer Cal Fussman, "When I went to jail, reality hit so hard that it took my breath away, took my stance away, took my strength away." He continued:

The law was passed to teach people a lesson. Selling more than 650 grams of cocaine got you life in prison. They thought it would be a deterrent. It wasn't. I was put in a holding cell with twenty other guys — we had to crap in the same crapper in the middle of the room — and I just told myself, I can't do this for seven and a half years. I want to kill myself.

Still, despite Allen openly discussing his criminal past, we get only scraps of his story. In the first story, Allen's two-plus year jail sentence is given a sentence of examination, which appears typical of articles from around that time, including reviews of his book Don't Stand Too Close to a Naked Man. Esquire, meanwhile, provided no context at all for why Allen was sent to prison, or what law regarding "650 grams of cocaine" he was talking about. (A 1997 paper from a Michigan public policy think tank explains that a month before Allen's 1978 arrest, Michigan legislators passed a law that attached a life sentence to any conviction of selling 650 grams or more of either cocaine or heroin.)

The simple fact of Allen's arrest lives on the internet, as do its most primary details, but the full story has more or less been buried in the sands of time. There is at least one source, though, that investigates Allen's coke-dealing past at great length: an unauthorized biography of the actor, called Tim Allen (Overcoming Adversity), written by an amateur historian named John Wukovits.

Portions of Wukovits' book is available on Google Books, and it provides a full look at Tim Allen, amateur drug kingpin. Here Wukovits writes about the sting at Kalamazoo International Airport, set up by an undercover officer named Michael Pifer, who Wukovits says (via a previous Allen biography) had been steadily tracking Allen (then Tim Dick) for months:

Remember When Tim Allen Nearly Got a Life Sentence For Trafficking Coke?

According to Wukovits, Allen spent the next 60 days in jail awaiting his arraignment, part of which encompassed the time in the holding cell that he describes to Esquire.

Later, Wukovits writes about Allen's plea deal with federal authorities (the "he" at the beginning of this passage refers to Allen's lawyer, Jim Hills):

Remember When Tim Allen Nearly Got a Life Sentence For Trafficking Coke?

So, Allen turned government snitch, and in the process spared himself from spending the rest of his existence in prison. According to Wulkovits, Allen's information "helped the authorities indict 20 people in the drug trade and resulted in the conviction and sentencing of four major drug dealers."

As one might expect of a small time drug dealer who flipped for the feds, Wulkovits writes that Allen, at the time, feared for his life. The threat to his safety appeared to have legitimate enough that Allen served his sentence a federal facility in Minnesota, as opposed to Michigan, where a judge thought he might be less likely to run into someone with an incentive to hurt him.

Remember When Tim Allen Nearly Got a Life Sentence For Trafficking Coke?

Allen seemed to have endeared himself to the judges tasked with assessing his fate. The judge who got Allen in state court after his federal sentencing told Allen at the time that he expected him to "be a very successful comedian":

Remember When Tim Allen Nearly Got a Life Sentence For Trafficking Coke?

Hopefully that man never saw Wild Hogs.

Police Reform Is Impossible in America

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Police Reform Is Impossible in America

In recent weeks, the White House has reaffirmed its commitment to strengthening "community policing" around the country. The U.S. Conference of Mayors has coalesced around the same theme, releasing a report days ago with recommendations for community policing measures to be adopted nationally. The suggestions for building better "relationships" and boosting "trust" are comprehensive but, for a national crisis brought on by the killing of unarmed black people, there's one thing conspicuously absent from the public policy solutions: the acknowledgement of racism.

The New Testament says that faith is "the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." Well, in the absence of data to support excessive policing and police brutality in communities of color, it appears that America has just stepped out on faith.

Rates of violent crime are down and have been falling sharply for more than 20 years. In fact, since the early 90s, the national homicide rate has fallen by 51 percent, forcible rapes have declined by 35 percent, robberies have decreased by 56 percent and the rate of aggravated assault has been cut by 45 percent. And black Americans have contributed to the decline. For blacks, rates of robbery and serious property offenses are the lowest they've been in more than 40 years. Murder, rape, assault, domestic violence — all down.

America is safer than it was 20 years ago. Really. Still, white Americans (and many black Americans, for that matter) believe there's more violent crime than there actually is, and that blacks are largely responsible for it.

In fact, nearly half of white Americans polled believe that violent crime has increased in the last 20 years. Another 13 percent believe that it's stayed the same. Less than a quarter of whites realize there are less violent crimes today than there were in the 90s when the crack epidemic and gang violence were at their height. Even more, whites overestimate just how much blacks are involved in "serious street crime" and, on average, believe that black people commit a larger proportion of crime than whites do. According to a 2012 study by researchers at the University at Albany, whites significantly overestimate the share of armed robberies, break-ins and drug crimes committed by black people.

So, this is how we get to Rudy Giuliani, a man once in charge of the nation's largest police force, insisting that, "White police officers wouldn't be [in black neighborhoods] if [blacks] weren't killing each other" as a justification for the killings of unarmed black people. This is how we get Stop and Frisk policies, Tamir Rice shot dead in a park, John Crawford shot dead in Wal-Mart, Akai Gurley shot dead in a dark stairwell, Miriam Carey shot dead outside the White House (the list goes on and on.) And this is also how we get a grand jury reviewing video of Eric Garner choked to death and seeing no evidence of a crime. Each is an example of racist policing based on the assumption of threat.

In a country that has identified black people as its criminal element, public safety (and perceived security) is more tied to the suppression of blacks than it is to the suppression of crime. And as long as the public insists on its myth of black criminality—almost as an article of faith—police practices will be impossible to reform.

In the summer of 1963, Boston public television aired "The Negro and the American Promise," an hour-long examination of racial tension in America featuring interviews with Martin Luther King, Jr., Malcolm X and James Baldwin conducted by renowned psychologist Kenneth Clark. During his segment, Baldwin delivered a blistering indictment of the white American psyche that is essential to untangle the myth of black criminality and its serviceability to American identity and feelings of security.


In a country that has identified black people as its criminal element, public safety (and perceived security) is more tied to the suppression of blacks than it is to the suppression of crime. And as long as the public insists on its myth of black criminality—almost as an article of faith—police practices will be impossible to reform.


"What white people have to do," Baldwin offers, "is try and find out in their own hearts why it was necessary to have a Nigger in the first place...If I'm not a Nigger here and you invented him, you, the white people, invented him, then you've got to find out why. And the future of the country depends on that."

"Nigger" as used by Baldwin is, of course, more than an epithet. It is arguably the very articulation of racism in this country. Its utterance summons a phantom that is as essential to American identity as the American Dream and the Pursuit of Happiness. So, when Baldwin talks about the creation of the Nigger, he's speaking to more than the word. He is assigning responsibility for a construct that has permeated every single American institution, one essential to the nation's founding and development.

Willie Horton, for example, was not the Nigger but it was conjured out of his cold stare, from OJ's courtroom smirk and even seen by some in the form of our "contemptuous" attorney general. Darren Wilson invoked the Nigger quite adeptly in his testimony before a grand jury to convince them it was necessary to shoot an unarmed Michael Brown at least six times.

"He looked up at me and had the most intense aggressive face. The only way I can describe it, it looks like a demon, that's how angry he looked," said Wilson about the moments before he fired the first bullet into Brown.

"At this point," Wilson said, "it looked like he was almost bulking up to run through the shots, like it was making him mad that I'm shooting at him. And the face he had was looking straight through me, like I wasn't even there, I wasn't even anything in his way."

More bullets. Then the final shot into Brown's head from 148 feet away.

"And then when it went into him, the demeanor on his face went blank, the aggression was gone, it was gone, I mean, I knew he stopped, the threat was stopped," said Wilson.

A grand jury believed it. A great many Americans find the story believable—most without ever even having to hear it from Wilson's lips or read the transcript.

So, why does America need such a narrative? The question is something of a psychoanalytic approach to our country's policing problem but one that's been gaining traction in the media as of late. Ta-Nehisi Coates gestured toward it in his column for The Atlantic weeks ago. He wrote:

"...And knowing that identity is not simply defined by what we are, but what we are not, can it be that our police help give us identity, by branding one class of people as miscreants, outsiders, and thugs, and thus establishing some other class as upstanding, as citizens, as Americans? Does the feeling of being besieged serve some actual purpose?"

I am not white. The Nigger has never been of any use to me so, unfortunately, I don't think the question is mine to answer. I do have my theories, though. I imagine, like Coates seems to, that identifying blacks as this country's criminals helps white Americans dismiss their own criminal activity as incidental (teenage drug use, insider trading, mass shootings, etc). But I think it also must help to organize their fear in an uncertain world. Like "Goldstein" in Orwell's 1984, perhaps the Nigger gives white Americans something specific to fear so they don't fear everything—including themselves and each other.

Ultimately, the contrast between the reality of black crime and this nation's perception of it reveals just how invested in the myth of the Nigger America actually is. And, as protesters push forward and leaders federal and local circle around "community policing" as reform, Baldwin's question will only become more urgent. White Americans of good conscious will have to confront their boogeyman head on. Because the truth is that there can be no "community policing" in black communities without engaging the community, without engaging black people and our distortion in the American imagination.

Donovan X. Ramsey is a multimedia journalist whose work puts an emphasis on race and class. Donovan has written for outlets including MSNBC, Ebony, and TheGrio, among others. He's currently a Demos Emerging Voices fellow.

[Illustration by Jim Cooke]


Here's How Sprite Tries to Buy Off Reporters With Free Tickets

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Here's How Sprite Tries to Buy Off Reporters With Free Tickets

Here is an email illustrating how brands (Sprite, in this case) pay off reporters and bloggers with free stuff as a direct quid pro quo for coverage. There's also some info about a TOP SECRET Drake and Nas concert we would like to share.

The following email was sent to the editor of a New York media outlet this week. This kind of stuff happens every day! Witness the vast respect that the Sprite corporation displays for the concept of journalism.

From: [PR Person]

To: [Editor]

Subject: Sprite NBA All-Star/Concert Opportunity

[Person],

Reaching out to [website] on behalf of Sprite. A few days ago, Sprite launched its Thirst of the Boroughs program highlighting up-and-coming musical artists and fashion designers in NYC. I was hoping we might be able to arrange a sponsored content opportunity of sorts. Though I don't have any budget to work with, I do have two tickets for three premiere events during NBA All-Star Weekend:

  • On Friday, Feb. 13, Sprite is presenting Drake and Nas for its Obey Your Thirst Concert at Irving Plaza in NYC. It will be the first time the two have ever shared the stage together. (NOTE: This is a private concert - tickets are not available to the public. Also, please keep this on the hush - it won't be announced publicly in advance of the concert.)
  • We also have two lower-level tickets for State Farm NBA All–Star Saturday Night on Feb. 14 at Barclays Center and the NBA All–Star Game on Sunday, Feb. 15 at Madison Square Garden.

Here's the thing: Because the approximate value of these tickets is so high and they are not conventional media passes, our legal counsel has made us aware we must create a formal agreement with any outlet to which we are providing the tickets. So, we propose an agreement with very minimal asks. In exchange for two tickets to each of the three events, we would ask for:

  • One (1) Thirst of the Boroughs program overview story on [website]
  • One (1) tweet from [website's Twitter] linking to the story
  • One (1) Facebook post from [website] linking to the story

Please let me know if you have any questions.

Thanks,

[PR Person]

Sprite, Drake, and the favor-trading corruption of journalism are all bad.

[Pic via]


Internet Emails Allegedly Show Silk Road Drug Lord Hiring Hell's Angels Hitmen | Defamer Cops Report

ISIS Reportedly Burns Captured Jordanian Pilot Alive

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ISIS Reportedly Burns Captured Jordanian Pilot Alive

ISIS has released video of Jordanian pilot Moaz al-Kasasbeh being burned alive. The brutal killing comes less than a week after a deal between ISIS and Jordan fell through because ISIS could not show proof of life for the 24-year-old lieutenant.

Al-Kasasbeh's F-16 fighter jet—part of the U.S.-led coalition against ISIS—was shot down in late December in northern Syria. According to Jordanian TV, al-Kasasbeh was killed a month ago. One of his relatives told Reuters that the Jordanian government has notified the family about the lieutenant's death.

The video, which can be viewed here, begins with several minutes of ISIS propaganda, including footage of killed ISIS members being removed from the rubble of buildings presumably destroyed during coalition airstrikes. It then cuts back and forth between close-ups al-Kasasbeh and the rubble-covered ISIS members before showing the pilot locked in a cage, covered with some sort of accelerant. A masked ISIS member lights a line of what appears to be hay leading to the cage and al-Kasasbeh is shown slowly burning to death. After he's stopped moving, a bulldozer crushes the cage and covers it with rubble.

Gruesome photos of the execution are embedded below.

Over the past ten days, ISIS has beheaded two Japanese hostages—journalist Kenji Goto and "security contractor" Haruna Yukawa—who were captured last year.

UPDATE 1:28 pm: Jordan has confirmed al-Kasasbeh's death and vowed revenge. From the Associated Press:

"The military forces announce that the hero pilot, Muath al-Kaseasbeh, has fallen as a martyr, and ask God to accept him with the martyrs," [Jordanian military spokesman] Mamdouh al-Ameri said in a statement read on Jordanian TV.

"While the military forces mourn the martyr, they emphasize his blood will not be shed in vain. Our punishment and revenge will be as huge as the loss of the Jordanians."

The Creepiest Things You Can Do on Facebook

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The Creepiest Things You Can Do on Facebook

Sometimes in this world, you want to make someone as wildly uncomfortable as humanly possible. That's why Facebook's here.

It's a fact many of us have been neglecting in recent months, what with our Twittter and our Instagrams and our Yik Yaks—we've been forgetting about the world of mischief potential within the walls of Zuck's blue and white kingdom. But Facebook is a gift. A sentimental, Buzzfeed- and baby-filled, creepy goddamn gift. And it's about time we started making use of it.

Now, some of you may be asking, why would you actively want to make someone uncomfortable? And the answer is: Because you're not dead inside. It's the same reason people jump out of planes and try meth—it's invigorating and dangerous and a wildly dumb thing to do. But it makes you feel alive. I should know. I do it a lot.

Let me help you help yourself put other people in emotional distress. You'll be happy you did. (Maybe.)


Post your face with no explanation

While doing this at at 1 AM is preferable, really any time of day is ideal for posting a close-up shot of your dumb, unblinking mug to a coworker's wall (see above). I chose Gizmodo's Darren Orf.

After the first occasion, Darren was so uncomfortable he chose to ignore the situation altogether and said nothing about my virtual gift to him for several weeks. I was eventually forced to confront him about it. He responded by casting his eyes downward and saying, "Um... yeah. I saw that." Success!


Tag yourself in someone else's engagement photo

The Creepiest Things You Can Do on Facebook

Facebook is a goldmine of intimate couple's portraits, both wedding, engagement, or otherwise. And they all get a ton of likes. Maybe you haven't received a notification in a while, or maybe you just want to feel like a part of something. Either way, I recommend tagging yourself in another couple's professionally-shot portrait.

I went to college with Brianna and Max, so I was sure to get lots of notifications as our mutual friends liked their public testament to (what I had forced into becoming) our everlasting love. And I did! That's me. In the middle.


Comment on a photo from 10 years ago

The Creepiest Things You Can Do on Facebook

When you first friend someone on Facebook, what do you do? You go back and look through every photo they've ever been tagged in starting in reverse chronological order of course. But sometimes, your finger slips ever-so-slightly and you've just liked a photo from 2008 and given yourself away. It's time to embrace your fears—and go one step further.

I don't know who this boy is, and I'm not sure what he's eating. But I wanted everyone involved in this photo to know that I wanted them to know that I'd been there. And now they do. I have yet to receive a response.


Comment on old "life events" you had no part in

The Creepiest Things You Can Do on Facebook

One of the greatest things about Facebook is the ability to retroactively mark the big events in your life: the day you were born, your first breakup, your first day on the job—all there for all the world to see. And if you want the world to see it, surely you want to hear the world's thoughts on it? Happy to oblige!

The Creepiest Things You Can Do on Facebook

And if you really want to kick it up a notch, you can comment with phrases that would be uncomfortable to say even in person. So they know you care.


Request someone's relationship status

The Creepiest Things You Can Do on Facebook

Facebook has essentially just dropped this one right in your lap. If you go to someone's profile, look to the left. If they have chosen to keep their relationship status hidden, you'll see a small line prompting you to prod them for that very same sensitive information they've actively chosen to keep private. The future!

Then request their address

The Creepiest Things You Can Do on Facebook

If, for some ungodly reason, the person you've chosen to harass has decided to oblige your absurd request, no reason to stop there. Facebook lets you ask them for all sorts of private, personal information they've made an explicit choice to keep hidden from you. High school? College? Phone number? Home address? All of the above.


Friend someone else's grandma

The Creepiest Things You Can Do on Facebook

Everyone is on Facebook these days: your teachers, your mom, aunts and uncles—the whole gang's there. But being friends with your own relatives can get boring. That's when it's time to start friending other people's relatives. And no one is more excited about new friends on Facebook than grandparents.

Poke someone else's grandma

The Creepiest Things You Can Do on Facebook

I got lucky. After friending my coworker Nick Stango's grandmother, she poked me. I was delighted and promptly poked her back. I cannot recommend it highly enough.


Interact with #Brands

The Creepiest Things You Can Do on Facebook

It makes people more uncomfortable than anything else you could possibly do.

Anti-Vaxxers: They're In Silicon Valley, Too

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Anti-Vaxxers: They're In Silicon Valley, Too

There's a big measles outbreak happening right now, thanks to anti-vaxxers like Jenny McCarthy and Jim Carrey and the people who listen to them. But Hollywood isn't the only place where people fall for junk science. There are anti-vaxxers in Silicon Valley, too. One of them is NetSuite CEO Zach Nelson, who in 2011 was supporting the doctor whose bogus research helped give rise to the anti-vaxxer movement.

The doctor is British surgeon Andrew Wakefield, who produced research that linked autism to the measles, mumps and rubella (MMR) vaccine. Wakefield's research was debunked, and he was stripped of his license to practice medicine in the U.K. Nevertheless, a lot of people still believed his theories.

Among them were Nelson and his wife, Elizabeth Horn, who stood by Wakefield, with Nelson telling the San Francisco Business Times:

My experience in Silicon Valley has been when this many establishment players line up against you, you are on to something big. I think you need pioneers like Andy to break glass, and unfortunately he's broken the glass and been cut by it. So pioneers are always filled with arrows in their back, and Andy's that guy. But he can obviously take it and so we're backing him.

Nelson also "compared Wakefield to Galileo and Copernicus," the SF Business Times reported.

Which is maybe true, except Galileo and Copernicus didn't propose ideas that caused lots of kids to get sick with an easily preventable disease — one that kills one or two out of every 1,000 people who get it.

It's worth noting that Nelson and Horn have a daughter who was diagnosed with autism. In 2008, Horn produced and directed a documentary film, "Finding the Words: Recovering from Autism." She also has written moving essays, like this one, about the suffering of autistic children and their parents.

I don't mean to be an apologist for anti-vaxxers. But it is worth bearing in mind that these are parents who are watching their children suffer. Perhaps that makes them too willing to consider quack remedies. If I were in their shoes, I might be inclined to do the same.

[Photo: Wikimedia]

"10 Reasons You Shouldn't Date a Mexican Man" 

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"10 Reasons You Shouldn't Date a Mexican Man" 

"10 Reasons You Shouldn't Date a Mexican Man," by Trisha Velarmino, published today on ThoughtCatalog.com.

Trisha Velarmino, a travel blogger and native of the Philippines who describes herself as "a road scholar who loves languages, burgers, cats, football, hot sauce and coffee," has a warning for the ladies out there: "Ladies, take it from me. They will steal your heart. They will own it. They will take your breath away. They will turn your round iris into heart shapes. They will make your knees tremble. And once you go Mex, you can never go Ex."

What are some other dangers of dating a Mexican, according to Trisha Velarmino?

1. You will get addicted to those guacamole dips they make everyday.

Mexicans.

4. You will hate how they look at you will all the love in their eyes.

These creatures are the most genuine people on earth. Sometimes, I come to think, "do Mexican men ever lie to women?" Their facial expressions are so real you won't see any negativity.

Mexicans!

7. You will always remember them whenever you see a bottle of hot sauce.

When I came to Argentina, I started eating Doritos with a power hot sauce all over it and my friends were like, "Doritos with hot sauce? Who does that?!" I smiled and whispered to myself, "the Mexicans."

A bottle of hot sauce will always serve as their icon.

Mexicanssssss!!!

ThoughtCatalog.com is a popular source of advice on love and other stuff.

[Pic via]

A Letter From Robert Ladd, Who Was Executed Last Week

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A Letter From Robert Ladd, Who Was Executed Last Week

Last week, the state of Texas executed death row inmate Robert Ladd for a 1996 murder. Robert Ladd sent us the following letter shortly before his execution.

Last November, we published a letter from Ladd as part of our "Letters from Death Row" series. Ladd's case drew attention in large part because his attorneys argued that an IQ test showed him to have an IQ of only 67, which would make him too mentally impaired to be executed. Despite pleas on Ladd's behalf from the ACLU, courts rejected this argument, and Ladd was executed last Thursday evening. Ladd was the sixth of our death row correspondents to be executed since our series began.

Below is Ladd's newest letter to us, dated about three weeks before his execution. A few points:

  • As with his previous letter, Ladd had help writing this letter, due to his mental disabilities. It's not explicitly stated which words are Ladd's and which are those of someone trying to help him put his thoughts into writing.
  • The "Atkins v. Virginia" case referred to in the letter is a 2002 Supreme Court ruling that executing the mentally retarded violates the Eighth Amendment.
  • Much of this letter consists of a list of individuals and organizations that Ladd says did or did not try to help him. We are not taking any position on his claims. We are publishing this letter unedited. As far as we can tell, it is Robert Ladd's last public statement.

January 5, 2015

To: Hamilton Nolan/ Gawker Media

Dear Mr. Nolan,

With the help of alot of good friends and some thought I decided to write you once more about this unjust justice system and some of the leaders here in the good old state of Texas, I have written to alot of people asking for help I am not asking anyone to come and save me from this unjust system I am asking that the leaders of this state and organizations and others just look at the system and how it clearly is circumventing the Atkins, issue Atkins v. Virginia all in the name of their justice of (REVENGE) because it's surely isn't justice under the law, I have asked my now fired lawyers Mickelsen & Broden to go to the media and let people know about the injustice but they failed to even fight for me and in the back of Robert's mind he think that his lawyers was working with the Ag. Attorney General's office again he ask for help not for anyone to come and save him just look at what Texas, is doing, I want to give a list of the people and organizations that he has written

[List follows]

All of these newspapers have did reports on the death penalty here in Texas but yet they wouldn't give an interview

A Letter From Robert Ladd, Who Was Executed Last Week

[List continues]

The point is he couldn't get any lawyer to really help though Mrs. Danalynn Recer, (32) would help but have a small office and can't or (33) Jim Marcus, would help but his office is full as well, I think Lee Kovarsky, (34) of the TEXAS DEFENDER SERVICE, will help and I hope that James Huggler, will help but the point is the leaders of this state don't do much to help people in jail especially death row but if I had a case where alot of other leaders and former leaders would campaign for than all kind of leaders of the state would come out to help Robert, it's not really about him but the issue of executing the mentally retarded. I have said time and time again if some people who don't have an interest in the case look at all the info and say there is not a case for mental retardation and I PROMISE THOSE PEOPLE THAT I WOULD NOT FIGHT ANYMORE JUST LOOK AT THE EVIDENCE. It's clear that the judge in my case R. Schell, and the 5thcir. are clearly BIAS in their opinion again this is about REVENGE and justice, I AM VERY, VERY, SORRY AND HAVE ASKED FOR FORGIVENESS A MILLION TIMES I KNOW THAT GOD, HAS FORGIVEN ME AND AT THE END OF THE DAY THAT IS WHAT MATTERS.

Thank You

Robert C Ladd

A Letter From Robert Ladd, Who Was Executed Last Week

Previously

The full archive of our "Letters from Death Row" series can be found here.

[Image by Jim Cooke]


Conrad Hilton's Alleged In-Flight Shrieks: "I'll Fucking Kill You"

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Conrad Hilton's Alleged In-Flight Shrieks: "I'll Fucking Kill You"

According to TMZ, Paris and Nicky Hilton's younger brother Conrad Hilton was arrested Tuesday for allegedly flying into a violent rage during a London to L.A. flight in July. The 20-year-old reportedly threatened flight attendants and screamed, "I will fucking own anyone on this flight; they are fucking peasants."

Witnesses told TMZ that Hilton repeatedly punched the bulkhead section of the plane, inches away from a flight attendant's face. When confronted by the crew, Hilton reportedly yelled, in his native bro language, "If you wanna square up to me bro, then bring it and I will fucking fight you."

He also shouted, "I am going to fucking kill you" and "I will fucking rip through you," according to witnesses.

At one point, Hilton is said to have grabbed the shirt of a flight attendant. "I could get you all fired in five minutes," he reportedly said. "I know your boss! My father will pay this out. He has done it before. Dad paid $300k last time."

Like all tantruming children, Hilton eventually fell asleep, at which point the flight crew restrained him in his seat.

What triggered the hotel heir's alleged mid-air meltdown? Witnesses told TMZ Conrad smoked weed in one of the plane's bathrooms. He also reportedly admitted to taking a sleeping pill before he boarded the flight.

[Photo via Splash News]

​Jet-Setting Freeloader Chris Christie Is Ready to Lead America

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​Jet-Setting Freeloader Chris Christie Is Ready to Lead America

By certain unimaginative standards, Chris Christie is an employee of the State of New Jersey, with an annual salary of $175,000. But as the New York Times documents today, that doesn't prevent him from enjoying a lifestyle well beyond those apparent limits.

The New Jersey governor, the Times reports, is a near-shameless and inexhaustible freeloader, who has allowed and encouraged rich people (and the occasional foreign potentate) to ply him with luxuries, on top of the luxuries he can pry out of state taxpayers. It's all unsurprising but still entertaining: Private jets everywhere? Of course. A $3,000 hotel bill in New Orleans, billed to the state? How about a $30,000 hotel bill, paid for by the King of Jordan? And have the butler draw a warm bath, please!

The story's placement on the front page of the Times might imply that it represents some sort of scandal, but it illustrates an opposite truth: This behavior is not scandalous, it is just a particularly intense version of how things are done. As the Times notes in one paragraph, Christie far from alone among American public servants in collecting lavish benefits from billionaires:

Mr. Christie is hardly the first politician, in either party, whose embrace of luxury travel has prompted criticism. Hillary Rodham Clinton, for example, a potential Democratic candidate for president, is known for her dependence on private planes often paid for by others.

This is how the world's true rulers deal with the inconvenience of a system that officially, in theory, allows members of the non-ruling class to claim positions of political power: They make sure those outsiders are comped with all the necessary memberships and privileges of the higher class. Eventually, they put them on the speaking circuit and Bob Barnett sets them up with a book deal, so that they become multimillionaires in real life.

Any would-be politicians who avoid these perks are cranks and are not to be taken seriously.

Whether it's Bill Clinton starfucking and being starfucked from continent to continent or Rudy Giuliani stuffing the trunk of his car with shoplifted Yankees merchandise, our most successful political leaders understand that they have not just a right but a duty to cast off the old, commoners' ways of thinking, in which the way you get things is by paying money for them. That's how you know you're a somebody: People give you stuff because of who you are.

(Disclosure: I'm married to a New Jersey state employee who has also worked for both Clintons.)

Sure, you could worry about ethics or whatever, if you want to be a nerd. But the point of this sort of thing isn't some crude quid pro quo. Quid pro quos are for doomed small-timers. As the Times story notes, after the gambling billionaire Shelden Adelson flew Christie on his private jet to a celebrity-filled luxury junket in the Middle East, Christie went ahead and signed a gambling bill that Adelson had wanted him to veto. Chris Christie is his own man.

The real, valuable corruption isn't in the goodies: the "Champagne reception in the desert" King Abdullah of Jordan set Christie up with, the luxury boxes at NFL games, the dinner at Jean-Georges with Donald Trump, the "exotic wood interiors" of the Cessna Citation X that Christie demanded from the Romney campaign. It's in the lesson that the recipient takes away from it all.

Asked for comment on the $30,000 worth of hotel rooms, the Times writes, a Christie spokesperson

described King Abdullah as "a friend" the governor met at a salon-style dinner in New York hosted by Michael R. Bloomberg, who was the mayor at the time.

Everybody is friends! King Abdullah is Christie's friend. Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones is Christie's friend. Donald Trump is Christie's friend.

And with the help of all these friends, Chris Christie is, in his own words, trying to "squeeze all the juice out of the orange." The Times makes some noises about how this ought to be at odds with his cultivated regular-guy persona and his demands for austerity, but it's not at all, really. It's on brand. The genius of Christie's scandal-proofing is that his self-caricature of being a regular guy includes being mean and greedy and cutting a few corners. What regular guy wouldn't grab everything he could, if he got the same chance? He's not some uptight snob. He is ready for the big time.

[Photo via Getty]

Uber Gave Money To MADD Last Summer, 6 Months Before A Glowing Report

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Uber Gave Money To MADD Last Summer, 6 Months Before A Glowing Report

Uber and Mothers Against Drunk Driving last week put out a report suggesting Uber helped reduced drunk-driving accidents. However, the claim gets a little wobbly when you take a closer look at the numbers, as ProPublica just did. Now MADD is backing away from the assertion, claiming the relationship is "purely correlational." Meanwhile, it turns out Uber started donating money to MADD last summer. Surely that is unrelated, right?

As ProPublica reported, Uber compared trend data related to drunk-driving crashes for drivers under age 30 in cities where Uber is available and in cities where Uber is not active. The numbers are trending down in both Uber and non-Uber markets. But they're down a little bit more in cities where Uber operates. Uber believes that this decline is because of Uber, but as ProPublica points out, there's no evidence for that.

Now MADD is backpedaling: "Nobody is saying that there is a causation relationship here, this is a correlation relationship. Purely correlational," Amy George, senior vice president of marketing and communications at MADD, tells ProPublica.

Funny, but last week in a press release MADD seemed to feel differently:

Released today, the study demonstrates that not only is Uber a convenient transportation option but that it can also be a powerful tool in the fight to reduce the number of drunk-driving crashes.

There's another twist, which is that Uber has been contributing financially to MADD. Last summer, Uber and MADD announced a partnership in which Uber would donate $1 to MADD for every ride taken and $10 for every new customer who used the service in a 24-hour period around the 4th of July, as long as customers used a promo code, UberMADD.

This past weekend Uber ran a similar promotion, donating a buck for every ride from 3 p.m. to midnight on Super Bowl Sunday when riders used the promo code ThinkandRide.

It is unclear how much money Uber has donated to MADD. I've reached out to MADD and to Uber and will update when I hear back.

UPDATE: Amy George of MADD says via email that MADD is not backing away from the report. "Absolutely not. To imply otherwise is incorrect. MADD strongly stands behind the report and that Uber is a powerful tool to reduce drunk driving. We have consistently said the data is correlative, and those correlations are valid at showing that Uber is having an impact."

[Photo: AP]

Newsfeed Arrest Warrant For Argentine President Found at Home of Dead Prosecutor | Fortress America

Confidential To Lance Armstrong’s Girlfriend—Leave Him

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Confidential To Lance Armstrong’s Girlfriend—Leave Him

Lance Armstrong is perhaps America's biggest dick. He is a complete and total fraud, a misogynist, and a gross human being. Banish him from this green earth.

Before the turn of the new year Lance Armstrong, who cheated his way to the top of the cycling game (why), hit two cars in Aspen after "a night of partying." (Why a 43-year-old man with multiple children is out "partying" in Aspen and then driving home is up for explanation.) Lance, wanting to "avoid headlines," let his girlfriend and the mother of a few of his children, Anna Hansen, take the fall for his fender benders:

A man who had been renting one of the damaged cars told a police detective that Hansen came running up to his house in high heels, apologizing and promising to pay for the repairs.

"She said, `I'm Anna, we're the Armstrongs, my husband's Lance, he was just driving maybe too fast around the corner or something," the man told police, according to the reports.

Classy. Wait, did they marry in secret? Or was she trying to cover Armstrong's sorry ass further by giving their relationship a nicer sheen of respectability? Yeah, total Armstrong move.

Hansen later told the cops:

"We've had our family name smeared over every paper in the world in the last couple of years and honestly, I've got teenagers, I just wanted to protect my family," Hansen told police. "I thought, gosh, Anna Hansen hit some cars, it's not going to show up in the papers, but Lance Armstrong hit some cars, it's going to be a national story."

Anna, there is a solution to your woes: Leave the fucker. Get a quickie marriage, no pre-nup, and then divorce the shit out of him. Or who even cares! Money is not everything. What are you doing with this asshole? He is horrible. He is the worst person alive. He is a known serial cheater who does not feel remorse. He embroiled innocents in his dirty deeds. He is a womanizer ("Armstrong's teammates nicknamed him 'FedEx' because his woman 'absolutely, positively has to be there overnight.'") He is delusional. His Austin house drank the town dry. He has inspired too many men who should never wear spandex onesies to wear spandex onesies and ride their dumb little bikes on the side of the highway.

Lance Armstrong is a huge dick. He should start a new charity and call it Dickstrong and give the proceeds to women's shelters.

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