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Mercer Buries Duke, Does the Nae Nae on Its Grave

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Mercer Buries Duke, Does the Nae Nae on Its Grave

The 14-seeded Mercer Bears mercilessly beat 3-seed Duke at basketball today, basically tearing up your bracket into tiny pieces and setting them on fire. All is forgiven, though, because A) They beat Duke and B) This GIF of a white guy dropping that Nae Nae now exists.

He's Kevin Canevari, who played 13 minutes, scored 0 points, and is still easily Mercer's most valuable player.

[GIF via CJZero/Twitter]


CNN Wrote The Worst Kurt Cobain Lede Ever. We Tried To Top It.

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CNN Wrote The Worst Kurt Cobain Lede Ever. We Tried To Top It.

CNN.com wrote an article about newly released photographs from the scene of Kurt Cobain's suicide. This is how that article begins:

"And I swear that I don't have a gun."

— Kurt Cobain, "Come As You Are"

Despite the pledge in those lyrics that went around the world in the early 1990s, police in Seattle say that Kurt Cobain did have at least one gun.

It's hard to imagine an article about Kurt Cobain starting with a worse lede than that, but the Deadspin staff thought it would be fun to try. Here's what we got:

"Here we are now / Entertain us," Kurt Cobain once sang, but apparently we weren't entertaining enough, because he shot himself.

"Buried / Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah," Kurt Cobain sang on "All Apologies," and buried he remains, but when Seattle police found a roll of undeveloped photos in an evidence locker this week, they reexamined his death, curious how he got that way.

"Rape me / Rape me, my friend," Kurt Cobain once wrote, but there's nothing friendly about this.

"Tender age in bloom," sang Kurt Cobain, who did not live to a tender age, because he put a shotgun in his mouth.

"I'm so happy / 'Cause today I found my friends / They're in my head," sang Kurt Cobain on "Lithium," possibly an ironic reference to the shotgun pellets that would later rip through his skull, ending his life.

"What else should I be? / All apologies." Well, you can start by not being dead, Kurt Cobain. Apology not accepted.

"Load up on guns, bring your friends / It's fun to lose and to pretend," sang Kurt Cobain, who eventually did load up his gun, but there was nothing fun or pretend about what he did next.

"Give me a Leonard Cohen afterworld / So I can sigh eternally," Kurt Cobain once sang. Well, let's hope someone gave it to him, after he shot himself to death through his face.

"What else should I say?" asked Kurt Cobain, who was probably unable to say much after the speech center of his brain was splattered onto the wall.

"Hey! / Wait! / I've got a new complaint!" sang Kurt Cobain from the afterlife, upon discovering CNN was posting photos from the scene of his suicide 20 years later.

"You hang me out to dry," sang Kurt Cobain, who actually did not hang himself, but instead committed suicide by shotgun.

"Gun, gun, son of a gun / You are the only one," Kurt Cobain once sang, covering his beloved Vaselines. Did he sing it to the gun that he put in his mouth and used to kill himself? We don't know, but we do know what the box in which he kept the hypodermic needles he used to shoot himself up with heroin looked like, thanks to a discovery made this week by Seattle-area investigators.

"Give me a Leonard Cohen afterworld / So I can sigh eternally," sang Kurt Cobain, whom Leonard Cohen outlived, because he did not blow his brains out.

"I'm on a plain," Kurt Cobain once sang, perhaps in a veiled reference to the Malaysian Airlines flight his wife, Courtney Love, would single-handedly locate using the Internet two decades later.

"I've been sucking on the walls of her anus / Anilingus," sang Kurt Cobain, who died sucking on the barrel of a shotgun.

"Wish away the pain / Hand out lobotomies / To save little families," sang Kurt Cobain, who lobotomized himself, in a way, when he fired a shotgun into his own mouth.

"Somewhere I have heard this before / In a dream my memory has stored," wrote Kurt Cobain, who possibly resorted to alternative memory storage because his own brain would soon be ravaged by a self-inflicted shotgun blast and rendered unusable.

On "Come as You Are," Kurt Cobain insisted, "I swear that I don't have a gun." History proved him a liar, as the grunge singer shot himself to death.

"We can plant a house, we can build a tree," Kurt Cobain once sang. But in fact the grunge singer can't do those things, because 20 years ago he injected himself with a lethal dose of heroin and then shot himself in the head.

"Oh no, not me," wailed Kurt Cobain as he covered Bowie. Oh yes. Yes you (via a self-inflicted gunshot to the head).

"It's OK to eat fish / 'Cause they don't have any feelings," Kurt Cobain once sang; victims of gunshot wounds to the head don't have feelings either, as Cobain perhaps discovered upon becoming one.

"Monkey see, monkey do," Kurt Cobain once pondered on "Stay Away." Cobain must have watched a monkey commit suicide, because he did, too.

The Concourse is Deadspin's home for culture/food/whatever coverage. Follow us on Twitter: @DSconcourse.

The FOIA Training Video That the Pentagon Redacted

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In 2001, the Pentagon produced a strange training video, for internal use and at a cost of more than $70,000, designed to teach civilian and military employees how the Freedom of Information Act works. It was comically dumb, featuring a noir private detective in a hack Humphrey Bogart accent navigating a World War II-era spy scenario, occasionally looking to the camera and delivering FOIA-based tips. When researchers tried to obtain a copy under the FOIA itself, the Pentagon took 18 months to release it, and redacted portions. Here it is.

As far as I can tell, it hasn't been posted on the internet until now. But "The People's Right to Know" was so bizarre that it merited an Associated Press story in 2004, when it was first released. Aside from the silly, and ultimately trivializing, "spy" narrative, the AP took issue with the fact that the Pentagon redacted a video it uses to train people how to process FOIA requests when someone sought access to it via a FOIA request. The Pentagon protested that it had to black out certain copyrighted portions—snippets of film derived from other sources—despite the fact that the FOIA doesn't expressly permit the government to withhold copyrighted material.

Legal experts challenged the Pentagon's refusal to release the entire video, arguing it was improper under the Freedom of Information Act — the subject of the videotape itself — for the government to withhold records because they include copyrighted material.

The video lists reasons for withholding government documents under U.S. law but does not mention copyright. It cites seven categories of information that can be withheld, including classified documents and "trade secrets and commercial and financial information given by companies in their bids for contracts."

"This makes no sense; this is silly," said David Schulz, a First Amendment lawyer in New York who has represented the Associated Press. "This is a novel effort to apply a provision that clearly has no proper application here."

I received a VHS copy of "The People's Right to Know" recently from a friend, who had originally obtained it from FOIA researcher and cultural anthropologist Michael Powell. I reached out to Powell to ask him his thoughts on the film, which are reproduced below.

Inadvertently, training films like this contribute to a heightened culture of secrecy and paranoia inside the government bureaucracy. While the film nominally attempts to make the education of FOIA fun and entertaining, the way it's framed—and of course, the attempt to create an air of mystery is, by any decent entertainment standards, a complete failure—only helps reproduce this sense that government secrecy is not only important and necessary, but that the division between "what we know" and "what they know" is of the utmost importance. The result, if anyone inside the bureaucracy ever bothered to watch this film, is to create more paranoia around government information. But even if no one watched this, I think it's just one more clue of how the government approaches these matters.

I wrote a lot more about the unintended and unforeseen consequences of attempts by the government to keep things secret in this article I wrote for The Believer a few years back (much of these insights and stories were collected while I was doing ethnographic fieldwork, first in the US and then in Poland, on information access and FOI laws, the subject of my PhD dissertation in cultural anthropology at Rice University). It's about black marker redaction. In that case, the government thought they were actually destroying information that was redacted. The consequence, however, was to generate paranoia, especially in the public sphere. That cultural production of paranoia is also happening here, with this video.

Pop culture is rife with this kind of stuff, but it's been so common for so long that I think we've lost all sensitivity to the paranoia surrounding any government information flows. Recent cases of Snowden, the NSA or even Assange and WikiLeaks are further cases in point.

A federal judge struck down Michigan's ban on gay marriage today, saying it is unconstitutional.

Michael Arrington: "Google Spied on My Gmail"

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Michael Arrington: "Google Spied on My Gmail"

This week, we learned Microsoft has been able to read anyone's Hotmail inbox, if it so pleases. But what about Google? According to TechCrunch founder and friendly VC giant Mike Arrington , his Gmail account was rifled through just the same.

"A few years ago," Arrington recounts, "I'm nearly certain that Google accessed my Gmail account after I broke a major story about Google."

A couple of weeks after the story broke my source, a Google employee, approached me at a party in person in a very inebriated state and said that they (I'm being gender neutral here) had been asked by Google if they were the source. The source denied it, but was then shown an email that proved that they were the source.

The source had corresponded with me from a non Google email account, so the only way Google saw it was by accessing my Gmail account.

A little while after that my source was no longer employed by Google.

I certainly freaked out when this happened, but I never said anything about it because I didn't want people to be afraid to share information with TechCrunch. But I became much more careful to make sure that communications with sources never occurred over services owned by the companies involved in the story.

This is a completely anecdotal, unverifiable report from a man of completely questionable character. But it's probably the first thing Arrington's ever penned that makes nothing but sense.

Photo: Getty

Deadspin We Have Found The Worst March Madness Bracket Ever | Gizmodo How Not To Piss People Off in

Celine Dion Says That Muppets Are Alive

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Celine Dion Says That Muppets Are Alive

Goofball with a golden voice Celine Dion (pictured above kissing an inanimate deer) probably doesn't believe that Miss Piggy is a real person, but she might! Dion is playing it extremely straight in the the press she's been doing for her cameo in Muppets Most Wanted. The pride and joy of Quebec said that her time on the movie's set was "beyond the honor" and marveled at "how alive they are" (meaning the Muppets, which are puppets):

She also contributed to this paragraph of Variety's article on the Muppets' sustained comeback, which began with the Jason Segel-co-written 2011 reboot, The Muppets:

In Muppets Most Wanted, which opens March 21, Piggy goes head to head with another diva—Celine Dion, who makes her bigscreen debut. In a showstopping number at the climax of the film, the pair belt out "Something So Right," an emotional ballad. "I've had the opportunity to sing with some of the greatest voices of all time," Dion says, "but none of them could compare to Miss Piggy." When asked to describe her collaborator's voice, she assesses: "Very sensual."

Dion, a complete and utter ham, doesn't so much as crack a smile during the number. It feels very much like a normal serving of Dion's signature melodrama, except for the fact that a felt pig is doing most of the heavy lifting. Dion's deadpan, if it's a deadpan (it's probably a deadpan, but hey, who knows what goes on the mind in the heads of French Canadian uber-divas), is a perfect little capsule of camp.

Dion's performance (and performance in interviews about her performance) is a wonderful illustration of the kind of silliness that the Muppets draw out of people, just by being around them. The entirety of Muppets Most Wanted is that, actually. It's looser and less precious about what the Muppets mean than the 2011 movie that preceded it. It is very much in touch with how over-the-hill the Muppets are, how wack their 40-year-old brand of entertaining would be if they were left to their own devices. It runs on self-awareness (the opening number is about sequels and how lackluster they generally are), but relies on the Muppets to be completely oblivious (only one of them notices that Kermit has been replaced with his conniving Russian doppelganger, Constantine).

The one-liners are frequent and Pixar-sharp. I'm so tempted to spoil my very favorite one, but I won't, because I want you to enjoy this movie—if it seems like something you would enjoy, you will.

[Image via AP]

L'Wren Scott's fashion label was deeply indebted and on the brink of restructuring before her suicid

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L'Wren Scott's fashion label was deeply indebted and on the brink of restructuring before her suicide last week. Despite Scott's many red-carpet worn endorsements from celebrities, her company's London filings show $5.9 million in losses as of 2012, compounding industry speculation that Scott's business "just crashed."


Kevin Bacon Reverses Dancing Ban on The Tonight Show

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Kevin Bacon may be 55, but that doesn't mean he isn't as lithe as he was in his twenties. In advance of his appearance on The Tonight Show, Bacon brought in a crew of dancers to recreate some famous Footloose scenes, thirty years after its release. Jimmy Fallon tore up the Tonight Show dancing ban decree as a nod to Bacon's slick moves.

Japanese Tech Company to Digitize Vatican Library Archives

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Japanese Tech Company to Digitize Vatican Library Archives

Pope Francis is the chillest pope that the Vatican has ever seen: uttering "fuck" at weekly blessings , admiring chocolate statues of himself , picking up hitchhikers in his tricked-out Popemobile . But now the man in charge of thousands of precious documents wants the underlings of the internet to have access.

A Japanese tech company called NTT Data has begun digitizing over 3,000 documents at the cost of over 20 million dollars. In the 1980s, the Vatican convinced Japan's Nippon Television to aid in restoration of the Sistine Chapel, so there seems to be a bond between Japan's big bucks and the Vatican's historical lack of funds.

The Vatican's librarian [NB: Dope job] Monsignor Jean-Louis Brugues told the BBC,

"The manuscripts that will be digitized extend from pre-Columbian America to China and Japan in the Far East, passing through all the languages and cultures that have marked the culture of Europe."

The goal is to make all 82,000 of the Vatican library's manuscripts available for browsing from the darkest corners of our digital world without ever having to board a plane. Some of the first documents to become available include "copies of works of classical Greek and Latin literature and mediaeval and Renaissance illuminated manuscripts." Get your browsing fingers ready. Excitement abounds.

[Image via AP]

Times Story on Pakistan-Bin Laden Ties Vanishes in Pakistan Papers

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Times Story on Pakistan-Bin Laden Ties Vanishes in Pakistan Papers

International editions of the New York Times appeared in Pakistan Saturday with a huge gaping white space where a story on Pakistan's alleged ties to Osama Bin Laden should have been, according to multiple reports from journalists and observers in the region.

The Carlotta Gall story, "What Pakistan Knew About Bin Laden," has been much ballyhooed in the U.S. press for several days now. It's actually a much broader retelling of Gall's frustration at being stonewalled for years by U.S. and Pakistani officials over the latter government's messy involvement with jihadism. But it also reassesses long-standing rumors that the ISI, Pakistan's intelligence agency, had sheltered the Al Qaeda sheikh until his killing by U.S. military forces in 2011. (It's an allegation that's not without its critics, even today.)

It ran on the front page of the Times' international edition published in Asia on Saturday:

Times Story on Pakistan-Bin Laden Ties Vanishes in Pakistan Papers

But it's noticeably and eerily absent from papers in Pakistan, according to multiple recipients:

Times Story on Pakistan-Bin Laden Ties Vanishes in Pakistan Papers

Times Story on Pakistan-Bin Laden Ties Vanishes in Pakistan Papers

So far, there's been no public comment on the story's absence. We'll update as soon as there is.

Update: The Times' Ravi Somaiya got a comment from his own paper and wrote up the flap:

A spokeswoman for The New York Times, Eileen Murphy, said that the decision by the partner paper, The Express Tribune, had been made "without our knowledge or agreement."

The partner was recently the subject of an attack by an extremist group, she said. "While we understand that our publishing partners are sometimes faced with local pressures," she said, "we regret any censorship of our journalism."

Though the article appeared to have been excised from all copies of the newspaper distributed in Pakistan, the story seemed to be available to Pakistani readers online, Ms. Murphy said. There was no answer at a number listed for the partner paper's parent company, the Lakson Group, on Saturday.

Final Season of The Boondocks Will Exclude Creator Aaron McGruder

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Final Season of The Boondocks Will Exclude Creator Aaron McGruder

Following a lamented hiatus since 2010, Adult Swim will premiere the fourth and final season of its profane, animated satire The Boondocks next month, featuring the full return of voice acting cast members Regina King and John Witherspoon as well as series regulars Katt Williams, Charlie Murphy, and Sway Calloway.

Adult Swim has confirmed, however, that series creator Aaron McGruder was excluded from development of the new season.

As McGruder is busy working on the imminent first season of Black Jesus—the producer's latest, live-action comedy series for Adult Swim—he claimed last week via Facebook status that the network has seized exclusive control of The Boondocks television series and its promotional properties.

Final Season of The Boondocks Will Exclude Creator Aaron McGruder

Apart from the brief statements on McGruder's social media pages, neither McGruder nor Adult Swim have offered further comment on why, exactly, McGruder isn't involved in the new season.

McGruder first launched the critically-acclaimed Boondocks comic strip in 1996, initially between the folds of the University of Maryland's Diamondback newspaper and The Source magazine, before Universal Press started syndicating the strip in 1999. Cartoon Network optioned and launched the TV adaptation in 2005, with McGruder as the lead writer and Seung Eun Kim directing.

Through the comic's conclusion in 2006, and the TV series' stalling in 2010, McGruder and The Boondocks drew frequent criticism from conservative commentators and black intelligentsia alike. The characters' fondness for the word "nigga," the overheated invectives against the Bush administration and white American power, the ensemble parody of minority stereotypes—it's so far unclear whether the TV series will retain such edge despite the absence of its notoriously brash creator, a guy who called Condoleezza Rice, an early fan of McGruder's strip, a "mass murderer" to her face in 2002, as he shook her hand.

The Boondocks won an NAACP Image Award for "Outstanding Comedy Writing" in its third season, and a Peabody Award for its first season episode in which Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., survives the 1968 attempt on his life, only to despair the predominance of crunk hip hop and Usher and Soul Plane in his old age.

The Boondocks' final season premieres April 21.

James Franco, Seth Rogen Continue to Troll Kimye Into Oblivion

Fast & Furious 7 Should Not Use CGI Paul Walker

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Fast & Furious 7 Should Not Use CGI Paul Walker

"No, nope, nah, no thanks, never, don't do this. WHY. Stop it. Just stop." That will be the resounding outcry of true fans on the April 10, 2015 release day of Fast & Furious 7, which is set to feature a patchwork of Paul Walker computer regenerations and slapdash body doubles. The decision is a dishonorable one, and should not be endorsed.

"They have hired four actors with bodies very similar to Paul's physique and they will be used for movement and as a base," one source close to production tells us. "Paul's face and voice will be used on top using CGI."

Paul Walker was human. Paul Walker had sparkle. Paul Walker laughed like a trickle of gold coins down the back of your neck while the smell of coconut spraytan hovers in the air. His teeth were like bone bricks, like a perfectly aligned game of Serenity Tetris* when you win, his smile like a blessing—Gloria in excelsis Deo—that made cars look like fun. Cars aren't fun! They are murder machines!

Is it possible to use four body doubles to recreate close-up eye shots like this one?

In case you missed it:

Fast & Furious 7 Should Not Use CGI Paul Walker

Would computers, who notoriously cannot be trusted, be able to contend with the Herculean leg strength Walker exhibited in not one but two fight scenes that required clutch-of-deaths around the mid-torso of his costars?

Fast & Furious 7 Should Not Use CGI Paul Walker

In a definitive ranking of the Fast and Furious franchise films, when penned by a F&F historian (which I am), the least liked film is also notably the only film in which Paul Walker doesn't appear.

  1. Fast Five
  2. The Fast and the Furious
  3. 2 Fast 2 Furious
  4. Fast & Furious 6
  5. Fast & Furious
  6. The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift

Though Fast & Furious was reprehensible for its overuse of dialogue and underuse of fast cars doing furious shit, nobody wanted to see this hack in place of Walker:

Fast & Furious 7 Should Not Use CGI Paul Walker

We only wanted the auric surfer boy with the frat-boy guttural guffaw.

No body double could possibly emulate the graciously dumbfounded face of Paul Walker as he loses to Dominic "Dom" Toretto time and time again. Toretto foreshadows in the first film that Brian "Breh" O'Conner never had his car. That face—so sweet, so dumb, so crowned by golden frosting, like a rubber cupcake dog toy left exposed on the highway—can it really be captured again?

The righteous, honorable alternative to keeping Paul Walker in the seventh installment of the wreckage-ridden victory rides through triumph, trial, and NOStradamus-style declarations, is to delete him entirely. Pretend he got lost out there, somewhere, and just never made it to Abu Dhabi, where the film is back in production.

Fast & Furious 7 Should Not Use CGI Paul Walker

*Serenity Tetris is not a real game (yet).

[Images via AP/Grill Wilson]

Rick Santorum, Big-Wig Producer of Unrated Westerns

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Rick Santorum, Big-Wig Producer of Unrated Westerns

Oh, Lord. Dispelling all dreams of the GOP dad-man's accomplished irrelevance, Rick Santorum's EchoLight Studios will premiere The Redemption of Henry Myers this Sunday on the Hallmark Movie Channel.

EchoLight "produces and distributes high-quality movies for families of faith." The company, based in Dallas, recruited Santorum as its new CEO in June 2013 to bolster visibility of the studio's projects. Earlier film and TV credits include made-for-scratched-and-abandoned-DVD titles such as The Stranger, The Perfect Stranger, Another Perfect Stranger, A Wobots [???] Christmas, and Foolishness.

Like Kanye West's Yeezus and Lars von Trier's recent Nymphomaniac, EchoLight's Redemption of Henry Myers dramatizes love's obliteration by the onslaught of sin, cured only by the kindness of clueless strangers. Santorum is credited as the executive producer of Henry Myers, which is not rated.

"There's message for everybody out there as to how we forgive? And do we forgive? And the process by which you have to go through to do that," the former Republican presidential candidate and Pennsylvania senator said in an interview.

Here, see if you can forgive this trailer.


Emma Stone Loses Her Shit Over Video Message from Spice Girls' Mel B

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Emma Stone, on a press junket for The Amazing Spider-Man 2, burst into spontaneous tears when her Australian interviewers shared a personalized message from Spice Girl "Scary Spice" Mel B. Come for the weeping, stay for the delightful rendition of "Wannabe".

Following the recent release of his sixth, best-selling album, Miami rapper Rick Ross will now be wr

Iran Is Building A Gigantic Mock-Up Of A U.S. Aircraft Carrier

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Iran Is Building A Gigantic Mock-Up Of A U.S. Aircraft Carrier

You have got to hand it to the Iranians, when it comes to arts and crafts they really do aim high. Last year we had the "unveiling" of the unquestionably questionable F-313 "fighter" and this year we get a truly gargantuan impressionistic interpretation of a Nimitz Class super carrier, complete with fake jets!

Iran Is Building A Gigantic Mock-Up Of A U.S. Aircraft Carrier

This thing has been under construction since summertime at Iran's Shipbuilding and Offshore Industries complex about 18 miles west of Bandar Abbas. The dressed up mega-barge of sorts appears to be more of a movie prop than any sort of weapons platform, although I have a feeling that its starring role will be anything but a love story.

US Navy and the American press seem baffled as to the precise utility that this elaborate contraption will provide beyond the Iranians just blowing it up and making the obligatory "look at what we can do to your big bad aircraft carriers America" propaganda statement. Although Iran's use of less than believable computer aided imagery is widely acknowledged, they could have paid for a Spielberg quality digital clip for less than what this monster is surely costing.

The best bet is that this thing is a target first and a convenient propaganda tool second. Iran has been trying to develop a relatively short range anti-ship ballistic missile for some time, and they have been parading around just that in the form of their "Khalij Fars" (which literally means Persian Gulf) missile for a few years now.

Iran Is Building A Gigantic Mock-Up Of A U.S. Aircraft Carrier

There have been rumblings that the Iranians have equipped this missile, which is said to have a range of over 100 miles, with a simple but effective electro-optical sensor. If so, this missile most likely utilizes a fairly archaic "man in the loop" guidance concept, similar to what was fielded on the American "Walleye" and GBU-15 munitions. Such a targeting and control concept has the operator staring at a monitor to lock up the target for terminal guidance or they visually steer the missile right into the target via a simple data-link. Even a newer version that can automatically target what it thinks is most likely an aircraft carrier is now a possibility. There is no reason why this system would be out of Iran's technological reach, especially seeing as the North Koreans and others are always just a phone call and some cash or crude oil away from lending a helping hand.

With all this in mind, this super-sized floating target will most likely be used to publicly test a barrage of Khalij Fars missiles at the end of a major Iranian maritime war game. If it goes decently well the image of the rockets impacting all over a test target that looks like a US Carrier will be shown on Iranian TV, and thus around the world. By doing so Iran shows the world that they have another military capability that will help deny western ships access into the Persian Gulf, while at the same time capturing dramatic propaganda imagery of what attempting to sail an aircraft carrier into the region will result in during a time of war. Win-Win.

I do have to stress that although the Khalij Fars is technically an anti-ship ballistic missile, it is in no way even near the Chinese DF-21D long range anti-ship ballistic missile in concept, scope, or purposed capability. In fact the Khalij Fars is not even within the last quarter decade of technological complexity when compared with what a modern, long range, ASBM is defined as. But the headline "Iran Proves It Has Anti-Ship Ballistic Missiles, Carriers At Risk" is a powerful one for the layman to read. That is not to say that a high-speed weapon system like the Khalij Fars is totally useless, but it would be more relevant if it was used in very large numbers as an overwhelming first strike weapon, and if autonomous terminal guidance is added to the munition's rudimentary and potentially vulnerable targeting interface that it most likely currently possesses currently.

Iran Is Building A Gigantic Mock-Up Of A U.S. Aircraft Carrier

Although pummeling this floating façade with ballistic missiles is most likely the contraption's central mission, that does not mean that other capabilities cannot have their turn at it as well. During one of Iran's large scale war games, where there is almost always some new "unveiling" of a "cutting edge" capability, we may first see Iranian special forces landing on the ship via helicopter and "securing it". Once they have vacated, Iran's robust fleet of fast attack and missile boats can swarm the hulk, ripping into it with machine gun fire and line of sight missile systems. Then the faux-carrier may get barraged by anti-ship cruise missiles, or even torpedoed by a Iranian submarine. The design of this barge most likely consists of a compartmentalized "filler" structure, basically large hollow box-like cells that would "fill in" the craft's hull and add buoyancy. If inert warheads are used, (missiles and bombs without their high explosive warhead), there is no reason why such sustained weapons employment could not take place.

Seeing as the US builds entire mock towns to train in (this one is just for the SEALs), has what amounts to a mock country's military sitting in the deserts of America's southwest, and actually sinks real mothballed carriers for weapons testing, why are the Iranians so outlandish for trying something similar? Considering how Iran has worked historically, especially the fanatically IRGC, doesn't it make sense that they would opt to get some great propaganda visuals at just the cost of some paint and some fake F/A-18s? Regardless of the motivation behind it, when I first saw this huge cheesy mockup I could not help but think of this holy grail for young boys growing up in the 1980's:

Iran Is Building A Gigantic Mock-Up Of A U.S. Aircraft Carrier

In the end, you cannot blame Iran for building their own USS Flagg, as so many of us still despise our parents a tiny bit for not making the ultimate in '80s kid material dreams come true! No, but seriously, this whole endeavor does make clear sense in relation to current Iranian weapons development and their historical training style. Now I can't wait to watch them blow it to smithereens.

Pictures via Digital Globe, Fars News, public domain, and most likely some brave soul working in that Iranian dockyard!

Giraffe Kisses Dying Zoo Worker Goodbye

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Giraffe Kisses Dying Zoo Worker Goodbye

Animals: they're just like us. Mario Eijs, a dying zoo worker at Rotterdam's Diergaarde Blijdorp Zoo, fulfilled his dying wish to be brought within the zoo's giraffe enclosure, where he had been working for 25 years. The giraffes then nuzzled and kissed him goodbye as if this story weren't sad enough.

Eijs has terminal cancer.

The visit was organized by the Ambulance Wish Foundation, which offers free transport to terminally ill patients.

Wijs was wheeled around the zoo in his hospital bed and several giraffes became curious when he was brought to their inside enclosure.

Eijs reportedly was "beaming" after the exchange, and also had an opportunity to say goodbye to his coworkers.

[Image via USA Today]

14-Year-Old NYC Bus Shooter Will Stand Trial As Adult

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14-Year-Old NYC Bus Shooter Will Stand Trial As Adult

Kahton Anderson, the 14-year-old boy who opened fire on fellow passengers of a city bus on Marcus Garvey Boulevard in Brooklyn will stand trial as an adult. New York City prosecutors have charged Anderson with second degree murder following the death of one bystander, Angel Rojas, 39.

Anderson's intended victim, a rival gang member, was apparently standing near Rojas on the rush hour-crowded B15. Stalking his target, Anderson fired his .357-Magnum wildly and missed, instead shooting Rojas in the head. Police have suggested that Anderson's immature grip of the powerful handgun may have compounded his inaccuracy.

The Stack Money Goons, Anderson's gang set, are based in Bed-Stuy's Tompkins Houses, less than a mile from the scene of the shooting. No other arrests have been made in connection with the murder.

Rojas was married with two kids, and he was apparently en route from one of his two jobs before he was killed.

[Photo courtesy of the New York Daily News]

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