In the past few years, economic inequality has become a mainstream political issue. We often hear politicians speak about "income inequality." We should be speaking about wealth inequality, instead.

If you think about it for a moment, it's pretty odd that "income inequality" has become the shorthand term for our big national discussion about class war. (It's become so common that I've used it myself quite a bit, though I'm going to try to speak more specifically in the future.) Income inequality refers to a very specific thing: the widening gap between annual incomes in America. But annual income is simply a measure of how much you have coming in (or how much you happen to be declaring on your tax forms) in a single year. A much more useful topic of discussion—one that does a far better job of getting to the heart of what we really mean when we talk about economic inequality—is wealth inequality. Income inequality only matters insofar as it effects wealth inequality, anyhow. And if we're not careful, focusing on income inequality can lead us astray from the larger goal of creating a fairer and more economically equal society.

Person A and Person B both have an income of $25,000 per year. But A has a net worth of $1 million, and B has a net worth of $0. Here we have no income inequality, and yet Person A flourishes, while Person B struggles to survive. This is a very simple illustration of why wealth is what really matters, rather than income. Add to that the myriad complex financial schemes that very rich people can use to minimize their taxable income, and the reason for focusing on wealth becomes even more clear. For all of the derision aimed at Thomas Piketty's proposed solution to inequality (a global wealth tax), it is worth noting that his solution would have at least addressed wealth in its totality, rather than just income.

I point this out on the occasion of a new study that says that, contrary to popular narrative, income inequality has not grown during the Obama administration—roughly the same period as the Great Recession and the subsequent recovery. It calls the perception that income inequality has grown during this time a "statistical gimmick." Specifically, the researcher, Stephen Rose, says, "While the richest 1 percent of households saw their after-tax incomes decline by 27 percent from 2007 to 2011, earnings of those in the bottom 95 percent of the income ladder dropped just 1 or 2 percent." Rose attributes the difference between his findings and previous announcements about growing inequality during this same general time period to the use of different sets of years and different definitions of "income" in certain data sets.

Though this study was announced in the New York Times under the eye-grabbing headline "Inequality Has Actually Not Risen Since the Financial Crisis," we should put this all into perspective before it spirals out into a new right wing talking point:

A) Even if income inequality has not risen since the financial crisis, income inequality is still at near-historic levels, and has been rising for three decades, and is generally very worrisome.

B) Even if income inequality has not risen since the financial crisis, wealth inequality may have risen since the financial crisis.

C) Income inequality is already very bad whether or not it has risen in the very recent past.

D) More importantly, wealth inequality is already very bad whether or not income inequality is rising or falling at the present moment.

This latest study is actually meant to be used to point out that the Obama administration's policies were successful in ameliorating some of the impact of the recession on the less-than-rich. But we all know that it will be lightly skimmed and then used to dismiss the very idea that economic inequality is still a pressing issue. Let's not allow that to happen.

Tax the rich. Tax the wealth of the rich. And don't believe the hype.

[Photo: Flickr]

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With temperatures as low as 15°F, it seems unusual that parts of the south saw sleet and freezing rain instead of snow on Monday. Wintry precipitation isn't always determined by the temperature at the ground. Here's an explainer on how sleet and freezing rain can turn a beautiful snowfall into an icy death match.

The atmosphere is so much more than what we see at the ground. You could see light winds and 65°F outside your front door, but three thousand feet above you, the wind could rip at 70 MPH with temperatures down below freezing. The temperature, moisture, and wind through a vertical section of the atmosphere are the focus of conversation during severe weather season, as the speed at which the atmosphere cools with height (called a lapse rate) is key to thunderstorm development. However, considering the vertical profile of the atmosphere is just as important during the winter months.

The vertical profile of the atmosphere is crucial to winter weather, and more specifically, determining what kind of wintry precipitation a location sees during a storm. Warm air is less dense than cold air, so when a warm airmass approaches the latter, it rides up and over the colder airmass, allowing a vertical profile that's cold at the surface, dramatically warmer a few thousand feet above the ground, and then it gets cold again above it.

The terribly-drawn graphic above illustrates the general profile of the atmosphere during an "all of the above" frozen mess like we saw on Monday. The amount of warm air aloft is key to determining who will see snow, sleet, freezing rain, or a regular, cold rain. In the graphic above, the blue background corresponds to air temperatures below freezing, while the red background depicts air temperatures above freezing.

SKEW-T Charts

In order to understand the vertical profile of the atmosphere, you have to look at at a tool called a SKEW-T chart, or the type of chart used to plot temperature, dew point, and wind data collected by the sensors attached to weather balloons. The above image is a model-simulated SKEW-T chart, showing what the model thinks the vertical profile of the atmosphere will look like for a certain place at a certain time.

On this particular chart, altitude is measured in thousands of feet by the horizontal white lines. Temperatures are noted (in Celsius) by the dark blue lines that stretch from bottom-left to top-right. The temperature of the atmosphere is traced in red, and the dew point of the atmosphere is traced in green. When the temperature and dew point lines are close together, the atmosphere is moist, and when they're far apart, it indicates a dry layer.

Snow

Snow is both the easiest and the hardest precipitation type to come across during the winter months. It's abundant in the frigid north, while it's exceptionally hard for any to fall in the south. Snow forms when three atmospheric factors—moisture, lifting, and sufficient cold—are able to come together at the same time. When temperatures are at the "sweet spot" of -12°C to -18°C, the atmosphere is primed for the development of dendritic snowflakes. Water vapor condenses and freezes around a fine particle suspended in the air (like dust, sand, smoke, or pollution), allowing additional moisture to deposit onto the frozen droplet and grow the system of intricate branches that we're so familiar with.

Understandably, snowflakes are very fragile and they require a sub-freezing atmosphere in order to remain intact from cloud to ground. Snowflakes can survive with surface temperatures slightly above freezing, but the layer of warm air must be confined to the area immediately above the surface, or else the flake will melt and it'll fall as a sloppy mix of rain and snow.

The above SKEW-T chart shows an all-snow temperature profile from Charleston, West Virginia on Monday afternoon. The entire atmosphere was well below freezing from top to bottom, allowing flakes to reach the ground intact. The city saw about seven inches of snow from the storm.

Sleet

Sleet, also called ice pellets, is essentially a frozen raindrop. Sleet forms when a snowflake falls into a shallow layer of warm air a few thousand feet above the surface, allowing the snowflake to begin to melt. Due to the shallow nature of the layer (which is only one or two degrees above freezing), only the outer edges of the snowflake have a chance to melt before it re-enters the sub-freezing air near the ground.

Once the partially-melted snowflake enters the sub-freezing air, it begins to refreeze around the tiny ice crystal that remains in the heart of the snowflake. The droplet completely freezes by the time it reaches the ground, striking the surface as an ice pellet. Sleet is loud and bouncy, and looks very similar to snow when it begins to accumulate. The major difference between accumulated sleet and accumulated snow is that the former tends to freeze into a solid, thick sheet of ice after a while. A frozen sheet of accumulated sleet is extremely hard (and in some cases impossible) to shovel or plow once it's had the opportunity to harden.

I took the above image during Monday's storm, showing about one inch of sleet on top of two inches of snow on the roof of a vehicle. Below is a zoomed-in view showing the sleet in better detail. It looks like tiny droplets of water, because that's what it is—it's just frozen.

Here's a model-generated SKEW-T chart showing a temperature profile favorable to the development of sleet, from Charlotte, North Carolina during Monday's storm.

The layer of above-freezing air in the atmosphere was extremely shallow—only a few hundred feet—but it was enough to partially melt the snowflakes enough to allow them to refreeze and reach the ground as sleet. Charlotte saw a period of accumulating sleet before precipitation changed over to freezing rain. Elsewhere in North Carolina, some areas that were stuck on the far northern edge of the warm air intrusion saw a good bit of sleet mixing in with the snow.

Freezing Rain

Freezing rain is arguably the most dangerous type of wintry precipitation, as it can cause extensive damage and it's nearly impossible to drive or walk on the glaze of ice it leaves behind. It is rain that freezes on contact with any exposed surfaces, such as trees, power lines, roads, cars, sidewalks, and anything else that's outside and below freezing.

Unlike sleet, which requires a shallow layer of warm air a few thousand feet up, freezing rain requires a deep layer of warm air that's several degrees above freezing (34°+ F). This deep pocket of warmth above the surface allows the snowflake to completely melt, leaving no ice crystals remaining in the raindrop. As there are no impurities in the raindrop, it cannot freeze, so the temperature of the water droplet falls below freezing, or becomes "supercooled."

These supercooled raindrops will fall to the surface and refreeze once an impurity is introduced. In the case of freezing rain, this "impurity" is exposed surfaces like trees, power lines, roads, and sidewalks. The droplet freezes almost instantly when it touches a surface, leaving behind the thick glaze of ice we're familiar with.

Above is a model SKEW-T chart from southern Tennessee during the height of the ice storm on Monday afternoon. Snow fell into a layer of warm air that was in the upper-30s for a few thousand feet above ground level, allowing the flakes to completely melt before entering the sub-freezing air for the last one thousand feet of their descent. As surface temperatures were hovering around 30 degrees, the raindrops froze on contact. Ice accretions of up to one-half of an inch were reported across Arkansas and Tennessee, with significant accretions reported as far east as eastern North Carolina near Raleigh.

Unfortunately, winter storms that form late in the season will start to feature this sloppy mix of precipitation more often as the atmosphere begins to warm as spring and summer approach. The only good news is that it means that warmer weather is on its way...some day.

[top image via the AP | snowflake: jennifernish via Flickr | sleet and freezing rain by the author | SKEW-T images via BUFKIT]

You can follow the author on Twitter or send him an email.

Last week, in response to a Defamer post soliciting stories about celebrities behaving badly, a reader left a lengthy tale about Kevin Spacey cruising him in a Santa Monica spa. (“After a few minutes,” the reader wrote, “he starts rubbing his crotch through his towel.”) This reminded us of three other Spacey rumors that came our way after we revisited a Star magazine story about the 55-year-old actor cuddling with a male model in a Los Angeles park. You’ll find them below (along with cameos by Bryan Singer, Tom Cruise, Will Smith, Jada Pinkett and Matthew McConaughey).

1. “Spacey is definitely at least bi”

From: [Redacted]
Date: Mon, Dec 1, 2014 at 10:49 AM
Subject: Kevin Spacey

Just a heads up, Spacey is definitely at least bi. My ex-sister-in-law met up with him in a New Orleans bar (I’m sure I can get the date and pictures for you), and, no shit, he ended up spending the night at her house. Her house being open to a lot of different people, there were dudes there, and she told me is that he offered to blow one of them to help him get back to wherever he was supposed to be. That probably seems like an out of left field story, but it’s the story I was told.

2. “Bryan Singer caught Kevin Spacey getting a hand job”

From: [Redacted]
Date: Mon, Dec 1, 2014 at 11:23 AM
Subject: Kevin Spacey and Bryan Singer’s Boyfriend (confirming Cohen’s assertion)

I rarely respond or comment to articles online and certainly never email their authors unsolicited, but wanted to share a quick story about Spacey that I think confirms [Bravo host Andy] Cohen’s assertion [that Kevin Spacey is gay]:

I was working in development for The Donner Company on the first “X-MEN” film in 1997-1998. Kevin Feige was Lauren Schuler-Donner’s assistant (it was his efforts on this first film that landed him the job as President, Marvel Studios) and I worked for her President, Michael Aguilar as an assistant. Anyway, Bryan Singer was directing “X-MEN.” It was his first film after “Usual Suspects” and I was working closely with his assistant every day on script notes. He was paranoid about the script leaking so every copy was numbered on red pages and needed to be hand delivered to the powers that be which is why his assistant was in the offices every day. Everyone from Kevin Smith to Andy Kevin Walker had already taken a pass at writing early drafts and once we had Singer attached to direct we had limited time to deliver a polished script and get the studio to green light it before it went into turn around. Needless to say we were all working very closely and this is the story Singer’s personal assistant told me that I will never forget:

“The Usual Suspects” almost never got made because Bryan Singer caught Kevin Spacey getting a hand job in his trailer from Bryan’s boyfriend and Bryan went ballistic. Walked off the set after a tantrum and they had to shut production down until they could calm him down. Thank god they did because it was a great fucking movie!

You can choose to believe it or not, but I haven’t repeated that story in over 20 years. Your article reminded me of it today so I figured I would share…

Best,

[Redacted]

PS: I also have a story confirming Tom Cruise being gay…an old friend James Calciano was the President of Cruise Wagner Productions during the filming of “Mission: Impossible II” in Budapest and walked in on Tom having a “cigar party” with a number of naked young men by the fireplace in the great room of a castle they had rented for the shoot. Enjoy! (and smoke ‘em if ya got ‘em! I guess.)

3. “Things turned into an orgy”

From: [Redacted]
Date: Mon, Dec 1, 2014 at 12:56 PM
Subject: Kevin Spacey

Hey,

Not sure if you can use this. But, I have some info on Kevin Spacey’s sexuality. Back in the late 90’s, I was living in NYC, doing the whole actor thing for many years.

Long story short, a friend of mine was living with Spacey; in an apartment Spacey used when he was in the city. My friend lived there, rent-free. He just had to have sex [with] Spacey, when Spacey was in town. He also had to hide all pictures of Spacey, when Spacey was out of town. That was weird. But, of course, my friend showed them to us. There was photos of them making out & such.

One night, when Spacey was in town, my friend invited a couple of us to go out with Spacey & him. It was fun. Kevin was a really funny guy. But, he’s obviously gay, when he lets his hair down (so to speak). He was all hands on deck with my friend & he was hitting on me pretty hard. He was hitting on several guys, to be fair.

We all went back to the apt & continued the party. Party favors & drinks were being consumed by all. At about 4am, things turned into an orgy. That wasn’t really my scene (all dudes), so I politely excused myself. But, not before being groped by Spacey.

He’s a cool guy. I thought, at that time, that everyone knew he was gay. He was certainly flamboyant about it. He was weird about the photos, though. But, that’s my Kevin Spacey story. He should just come out, already. He seemed much happier being his big, gay self.

PS: Will Smith & Jada Pinkett are bi-sexual, btw. I dated a girl who bartended @ Peanuts, in LA, back in the early 00’s. Not sure if it’s still there. It was a popular nightclub for black men & women ‘on the down low.’ Will & Jada would hold court there, almost every night. Will would be with a bunch of shirtless dudes. Jada would be a little tigress with all the ladies. They would all be rubbing all over each other. Making out. But, in a weird way, it seemed to strengthen Will & Jada’s relationship. They would constantly be looking at each other with love in their eyes, then they’d go back to fooling around with their boy & girl toys.

There ya go. A few of my little gossipy tidbits from my time in NY & LA.

Hope it’s helpful. Cheers!

4. The Male Companion

From: [Redacted]
Date: Tue, Feb 17, 2015 at 12:37 PM
Subject: Kevin Spacey

Hi,

In regards to your Kevin Spacey inquiry: my parents saw Kevin Spacey holding hands and making out with a male companion on a beach in Aruba.* My father liked Spacey’s hat, so he walked up to the couple and asked where Spacey had purchased said hat. Spacey didn’t try to act like he wasn’t with the man, chatted with my father, told him where to get the hat and went on his gay way.

When my parents returned from Aruba* they told the story in sort of a “ohhhh....Kevin Spacey isn’t out??” kind of way.

* The same reader clarifies:

It was actually in Puerto Rico, not Aruba—my bad. Clearly my parents go on a lot of vacations without their adult children.

My father says “the other guy looked like arm candy. It was in 2008, in Puerto Rico at the Big Old Fort. The dude was in his twenties, dressed ‘Abercrombie’ and being very affectionate with Kevin. It did not feel like two heteros visiting a national park.”

5. The SUV

From: [Redacted]
Date: Tue, Feb 17, 2015 at 12:43 PM
Subject: Spacey is a fan of boys

If Kevin Spacey isn’t gay, he sure has a lot of gay young friends. The actor is frequently spotted on summer nights at an outdoor bar in town, wearing sunglasses and a hat while surrounded by four or five guys in their 20s who are a little less shy about their identities and a little more confident in their sexuality.

They’ll hang out for awhile and then all pile into a SUV with tinted windows and roll out. This has happened a few times and it’s all so normal, it’s almost forgettable. But all my friends remember it because every time we see him there, someone inevitably gets yelled at for pointing their camera phones in Spacey’s direction. He’ll point out somebody taking a picture to the waitstaff and have them yell at the people—even if they’re just taking a picture of their friend and Spacey happens to be in the general direction of the background.

6. The A Cappella Singer

From: [Redacted]
Date: Tue, Feb 17, 2015 at 1:13 PM
Subject: My Kevin Spacey story

When I was in college, I had a few guy friends who were in an a cappella group that would frequently go on tour and occasionally perform for high profile guests at private parties.

At one such party, one of the guys in the group—a close friend of mine—was approached by Kevin Spacey. Spacey started flirting with him and made some overtures. Eventually, my friend politely told Spacey that he wasn’t gay. Spacey’s response: “Well, you don’t have to be a professional hang glider to try it once.”

I also met an agent once who had worked closely with Matthew McConaughey. He told me that McConaughey is a ravenous “pansexual” who is known to have sex with anyone and everything (man, woman, trans, you name it).

7. The East Village Bar

From: [Redacted]
Date: Tue, Feb 17, 2015 at 1:47 PM
Subject: Spacey story

My friends and I were out in Manhattan like 9 years ago and ran into him late at some East Village bar. He took a liking to one of the guys (who is straight) and kept finding his way next to him at the bar. When that friend started to feel sick from too many drinks, we saw Kevin rubbing his back as he threw up into a plant. The rest of us decided to call it a night and head to our hotel. We said bye to Spacey and grabbed a cab. The sick friend was locked in the hotel bathroom puking, and the rest of us were having a night cap when there was a knock at the door. Kevin Spacey had apparently followed us back to the hotel. While we were a little creeped out, we let him in and smoked a joint and ordered late night cheeseburgers (at the time we hadn’t heard any of the rumors so thought he just found our bad jokes and terrible questions about the Usual Suspects cool and interesting). He kept asking about our friend still locked in the bathroom, and when our sick friend finally opened the door (in just a towel, no less) to find Kevin laying on his bed, he turned right around and locked himself in there again. Suddenly, the mood changed and Kevin didn’t appear so eager to hang out with us anymore. He got especially mad when I asked him to leave a voicemail for a friend and he stormed out. It seemed like once he got the cold, pukey shoulder from his new crush, he realized he was just eating drunk food with some straight college guys who couldn’t pick up girls.

8. House of Cards

From: [Redacted]
Date: Tue, Feb 17, 2015 at 2:38 PM
Subject: Kevin Spacey

Another to add to the list—my friend’s uncle works on the production team of House of Cards in D.C., and told my friend recently that Spacey regularly solicits the young (early 20s), male crew members for sex in his trailer. Specifically, the uncle explained to my friend that Spacey “demands” it...whatever that means.

Do you have your own Kevin Spacey story? Email us.

Photo credit: Getty Images

Krispy Kreme's whimsical spelling has long straddled the line between "friendly Southern grandma" and "racist country grandpa," but this week a UK branch of the donut chain accidentally went full hoods and crosses with an ad promoting "KKK Wednesdays."

Apparently short for "Krispy Kreme Klub Wednesdays," the store responsible for the sign says they didn't realize the initials had already been taken another, more famous KKK, until Facebook fans pointed out the unfortunate similarity.

On Tuesday, Krispy Kreme finally recognized their food-grade fuck up, removing the sign and issuing a formal apology:

"Krispy Kreme apologises unreservedly for the inappropriate name of a customer promotion at one of our stores," a spokeswoman for Krispy Kreme told the Guardian.

"This promotion was never intended to cause offence. All material has been withdrawn and an internal investigation is currently underway."

Fortunately, the donut shop hasn't given up on hosting a kool kids' klub.

"We don't have a new name for the event yet," one Kremesman told the Hull Daily Mail, "but it is still going ahead this week."

[Images via AP Images/Facebook//h/t Uproxx]

TMZ reports that rapper Afroman—famous for sporting an afro and having gotten high—was arrested in Biloxi, Mississippi Tuesday night after laying out a female fan who snuck on stage.

"This was a completely involuntary reflex reaction to people infringing on his stage space," an Afroman spokesperson told Billboard in a statement. "It was uncharacteristic behavior that was initiated by outside uncontrolled forces."

Just as one should never sneak up on a trained killer, one must never booty-bump an Afroman in the throes of a slick guitar solo, as the above video clearly demonstrates.

On Tuesday, the New York State Republican Party published the above Fifty Shades of Grey parody on their website, ostensibly to say something about how Bill de Blasio is a lady that Al Sharpton ties up and fucks.

"The parallels between the heroine of America's hottest movie and New York's Mayor are striking," a GOP spokesperson told The New York Observer, "both have completely ceded control over their situation to outside forces, and the results are difficult to watch," poking fun at both the critically panned movie and the weird BDSM fantasy his party thought up, illustrated, and then publicly released.

The finished product is indeed hard to look at, but who knows? Four years ago Fifty Shades of Grey was just sloppy Twilight fan fiction—with a good editor, the NY GOP's bizarre ad could be the biggest movie of 2019.

[Image via NYGOP.com//h/t DNAinfo]

In a video released Tuesday, a California man who accused Oregon police of giving him two black eyes is shown to have beaten himself instead, The Register-Guard reports.

After getting arrested in January on charges of stalking and first-degree sexual abuse, 33-year-old Aleksander Robin Tomaszewski filed an assault complaint against detectives, claiming they had been beaten him.

Unfortunately for Tomaszewski, jail cameras told a different story. From The Oregonian:

The four-minute video shows Tomaszewski pacing as he punches both eyes. He then sits down and resumes pounding his face. The time stamp shown in the video is not adjusted for the time change, [Sheriff's Office spokesperson Carrie] Carver said.

After Tomaszewski was confronted about the recording, he told detectives that he thought the complaint would get him released, Carver said.

Tomaszewski was subsequently found guilty of initiating a false report and attempted coercion, earning him a $500 fine and 20 days in jail—plenty of time to get back at the guy who roughed him up.

[Image via Lane County Sheriff's Office//h/t Associated Press]

It's difficult, these days, to find examples of the name Brian Williams not being preceded by the word "disgraced," but is the suspended newsman as much of a pariah in New York City at large as he is in journalism circles? To figure out, we ran a (highly scientific) experiment. Gawker, posing as the personal assistants to Brian Williams, Geraldo Rivera, and Allison Williams, called 15 of New York's most exclusive restaurants to see who has the most clout. Congratulations to Geraldo, King of New York!

A note on our methodology: Because we didn't want the hosts getting suspicious, we called for Brian Williams on a Thursday, for Geraldo on a Friday, and for Allison Williams on a Saturday. At each restaurant, we called the restaurants in the late afternoon and asked for a table for six at 7 p.m. that night. We made the calls on behalf of Allison Williams on Valentine's Day — we are reasonably certain that had it been a normal Saturday, her results would've looked much better. (And the fact that she got any tables at all on Valentine's Day, calling mere hours before dinner, speaks to her as status as a member, albeit an incredibly boring one, of New York's elite.)

Overall, Brian Williams succeeded in reserving a last-minute table at 33⅓ percent of the restaurants we called on Thursday. Geraldo beats him with a 40 percent success rate, though mostly at undesirable times. And on one of the busiest nights of the year for New York restaurants, a respectable 20 percent of restaurants made room for Allison Williams.

*Officially does not accept reservations.

Conclusions:

First, we must confront the baffling fact that there are popular, award-winning restaurants in New York City that will make room for Geraldo Rivera on a Friday night, though most will only seat him before or after prime dinner time. Rivera was the only person to score a table at Le Bernadin, the restaurant frequently described as the best in the city. (Allison Williams may have had better luck another day.) And, somehow, only Rivera was able to score a table at Dirty French, one of the most popular new restaurants in town.

Ralph Lauren's Polo Bar told Brian Williams they were booked for the month, two days before they offered to seat his daughter and three companions at 7:30 p.m.. And the staff at Minetta Tavern was prepared to do anything possible to get Allison Williams in the door, giving her a prime table at the last minute on Valentine's Day.

But the suspended anchorman is still welcome at some of New York's best establishments, including Per Se and Daniel, both of which were simply too packed to make room for his daughter. Someone still loves you, Brian Williams.

Notes:

^[1] "For this evening I'm fully committed, is there any other night at all that would work for you?"
^[2]Unable to get through to the restaurant.
^[3]"It's super packed. Let me check with the maitre 'd." [Five minutes later.] "We can do six people at 7 p.m. We have her in our system with a 203 number, is that still correct?"
^[4]Rao's answers the phone with a prerecord message announcing that "the reservation book is closed" for the year.
^[5]"Booked for the month."
^[6]"If he wants to come back another night, we'd love to have him."
^[7]"He is no longer with NBC, is he?"
^[8] The dedicated reservations line was closed for the weekend, and at the host stand it was too loud for our request to even be understood.
^[9]"Literally any other night..."
^[10]At the casual room, not the formal room.
^[11]"How do you spell his first name?"
^[12]Table for two only.
^[13] "We are fully and completely reserved, to the brim. But it was definitely worth a try."
^[14] "We can make this work for you."
^[15] Fully booked, but called back at 5 p.m. to say a table could be made available at 5:30 p.m.

Additional reporting by Leah Beckmann and Jordan Sargent. H/T to Deadspin.

[Image by Jim Cooke, photos via Getty]

Student debt, like global warming, is one of those rare categories of news in which the latest news is always worse, never better. How are the very latest numbers? Bad!

A new report from the New York Fed shows where we stand as debtors as of the end of 2014: we stand in pile of sewage, and all of that sewage is labeled "debt," and we are trying to pass out resumes to sewer monsters, and it's tough. This is where the average American college graduate stands today (in the sewer). Of all of our debt, nothing is as worrisome as our god damn student loans, which have risen to a total of $1.16 trillion—more than any other form of debt in America except mortgages. (And a mortgage at least comes with a house!) The delinquency rate on student loans is more than 11%, far higher than any other form of debt, probably because, haha, they gave those big loans to students, which is obviously stupid.

A breakdown from Bloomberg:

The average balance for each borrower has grown by 74 percent in the last decade, mushrooming from $15,000 per person in 2004 to $27,000 in 2014, said the report, which was based on a nationally representative sample taken from anonymous Equifax credit data.

Most borrowers actually have less than $27,000 in debt. The average is skewed higher by the 1.8 million people — a small proportion of all borrowers— with extreme debt (as in, pushing $100,000).

Eventually we will either let people get rid of their student loan debt via bankruptcy, or America will develop an entire class of well-educated street urchins, ready to act as a skilled servant for mere pennies. (This is called "TaskRabbit.") Win-win.

[Image via NY Fed]

Last summer, two 12-year-0ld girls from Waukesha, Wisconsin tried to murder their friend because they thought it would appease a mythical demon internet meme. What's almost as disturbing is what investigators later found in one of their bedrooms.

ABC News reports new evidence from the bizarre, ongoing court proceedings—diary pages from one of the alleged stabbers depicting her servitude towards the Slender Man, and photos of her occult-mutilated dolls. Kids are so complicated!

Several Barbies seem to have joined the dark worship of Slender Man:

And there are pages and pages of tween doodles about Slender Man's omnipresent terror:

There's also this packing list of supplies for the attempted killing, which is almost sort of adorable if it weren't a list of supplies for an attempted killing:

Always good to bring the will to live. The Washington Post reports that there are over 60 other images of the tall, imaginary, noodly killing demon in the girl's diaries, which her defense team hopes will spare her being tried in court as an adult.

Two hundred and twenty-four apparently unretouched photos of self-styled Queen Bey Beyoncé were leaked on a website called The Beyoncé World this morning, sending shockwaves across the one inhabited by all of us. They come from commercial and ad shoots for L'Oréal's 2013 Feria and Infallible campaigns and should make you and Solange feel a little bit more secure about yourselves.

While The Beyoncé World deleted the trove of pics within about an hour, Complex managed to grab a few of them. Please take a deep breath...and then another one...and check them out below.

The Beyoncé World deleted the photos after receiving a negative response from the buzzing, insane Beyoncé fan army known as the Beyhive. The site owners posted this terrified missive explaining their decision:

Due to the disdain of the BeyHive, we have removed the photos. We don't want to cause any drama, nor do we wish to start fan wars. Some of the things we have seen posted were just horrible, and we don't want any parts of it. We were just posting the photos to share the fact that our queen is naturally beautiful, at the same time she is just a regular woman.

Some of the things we have seen posted were just horrible.

[Photos via The Beyonce World/Complex]

History's greatest democracy continued its love affair with hereditary monarchy Wednesday, as Jeb Bush captivated listeners with A Very Important Foreign Policy Speech full of original insights about being his own man and America needing leadership and believing that "weakness invites war … and strength encourages peace."

In a speech at the Chicago Council on Global Affairs, the Republican presidential hopeful asserted that he would be an independent thinker, then delivered a lukewarm hash of hawkish conservative platitudes and named a foreign policy team stocked old with family favorites. Here's how the middle-mind reportage of USA Today interpreted Jeb's word paella, under the headline "Jeb Bush vows to be 'my own man' on foreign affairs":

WASHINGTON — Jeb Bush sought Wednesday to draw a line beyond the inevitable comparisons to his father and brother on foreign policy, promising he would be "my own man" when it comes to addressing global crises.

Bush, who is proceeding to a presidential campaign of his own, delivered his first major foreign policy address in Chicago and took swipes at the "inconsistent and indecisive" leadership of President Obama and his administration.

And here's a Venn diagram prepared by the Washington Post's Philip Bump, showing which of his father's and brother's advisers Bush has decided to take on in his quest for free-world leadership:

Jeb Bush: A) Declares "I am my own man" B) Adds Paul Wolfowitz as an advisor.

— Nicholas Thompson (@nxthompson) February 18, 2015

Otherwise, the speech carried all the usual codes and whistles. He promised to enrich defense contractors:

The one and only specific foreign policy change Jeb Bush proposed in his speech was to increase the defense budget.

— Josh Rogin (@joshrogin) February 18, 2015

He pined for a past time when people hated America but were scared shitless of it:

Jeb Bush: “We definitely no longer inspire fear in our enemies."

— Igor Bobic (@igorbobic) February 18, 2015

He inadvertently told a truth about the "liberation" of Iraq:

accurate RT @mollymotoole: "… in 2003 at the beginning of liberation of Iraq, neither Twitter nor the Islamic State existed" - @JebBush

— Brian Adam Jones (@bjones) February 18, 2015

He burnished his foreign policy credentials as Florida's onetime governor:

Bush: “I forced myself to go visit Asia four times a year… it’s a long way from Miami."

— Igor Bobic (@igorbobic) February 18, 2015

And he overestimated the strength of the Islamic State by a factor of 10.

Jeb spox tells me of 200k ISIS claim: "Governor Bush misspoke. He meant more than 20,000.”

— Rosie Gray (@RosieGray) February 18, 2015

Congratulations, America. The next year and a half should be a lot of fun.

Mike Huckabee surges in new 2016 poll; Jeb Bush drops 9 points: http://t.co/0g9WZ1P7qv pic.twitter.com/waMIGUZ7oS

— The Hill (@thehill) February 18, 2015

[Photo credit: AP Images]

You, the American soda consumer, should be aware that your precious swill contains a chemical called 4-MeI, which has the unfortunate side effect of giving humans cancer. How many of you will get a deadly disease as a direct result of this chemical? Consumer Reports kindly figured out the answer.

It's unfortunate that 4-MeI gives people cancer, but soda executives have little choice but to add it to the beverages you drink, because it plays the important role of... let me just check here... ah, yes, the role of making soda brown. And if we didn't add deadly chemical brown coloring to soda, where would be, as a society? Life is not perfect.

Consumer Reports went to the trouble of analyzing 4-MeI levels in soda samples and then doing a little math and here you go, Diet Coke addicts:

Among the more than half of Americans age 6 to 64 who drink soda on a typical day, it turns out that the average intake ranges from a little more than one 12-ounce can to nearly 2.5 cans a day...

Our analysis shows that at this level of consumption, we would expect to see between 76 and 5,000 cases of cancer in the U.S. over the next 70 years from 4-MeI exposure alone. "We don't think any food additive, particularly one that's only purpose is to color food brown, should elevate people's cancer risk," says [toxicologist Urvashi] Rangan. "Ideally, 4-MeI should not be added to food."

Ideally, this carcinogenic chemical should not be added to food on purpose because we know that will cause dozens or possibly thousands of cancer deaths in the coming decades. But what are you gonna drink—Sprite? Come on.

[Photo of actual death: Flickr]

Outside of eastern Ukraine, there's no worse cold-weather spot on the planet than Boston. Just look at how the cold people there treat each other as they struggle for survival against nature's wrath.

It's not just the fact that foot upon foot continues to accumulate on Boston's streets, taking up the spots usually occupied by vomit and unconscious, racist BU students—it's that Bostonians are turning on one another. Gawker reader Darcy sent us these photos from her neighborhood, where street parking has spurred a bitter campaign of passive-aggressive sign-writing:

The battle seems to revolve around the saving of street spots with a chair, cone, or other inanimate object:

Dalrymple, the neighborhood is sick of your shit. This call-out starts a block-wide debate:

It all escalates from there, but at least people are citing their sources:

There's gotta be a better way to hash this out.

When Fenway collapses and the last frigid shouter of AH FAHK YOU!! falls silent, this will be all that's left of Boston:

Correction: I got the name of Boston's MLB stadium wrong and have corrected that error, sorry.

Fabulously wealthy brand ambassador and Vice Media boss Shane Smith spent $300,000 on dinner in Las Vegas last month.

That's the news. That's about all there is to it. We don't want to overhype this. After reportedly winning $100,000 playing blackjack last month, Shane Smith proceeded to spend $300,000 "at the Bellagio casino's Prime Steakhouse" for a (presumably big) dinner during the Consumer Electronic Show last month, according to Bloomberg. It's a unique kind of math, yes, but Shane Smith can afford it.

Is it better to work for the sort of boss who would blow $300,000 in Vegas, or the sort of boss who would not blow $300,000 in Vegas? Reasonable people can disagree.

[Photo: FB]

Days after Jon Stewart announced his retirement from The Daily Show, months after Colbert bid adieu to his eponymous Report, America is left wondering: who will satiate our nation's burning need for hard news served with a side of laffs? Will it be John Oliver, king of the internet? Or Larry Wilmore, whose show I've heard is quite good? Or will it be the new satirical news offering from the funniest website on the internet (The Huffington Post)?

The HuffPost Show, which debuts March 27 and will air every Friday evening thereafter, plans to feature "a mixture of news and entertainment segments," according to the Hollywood Reporter scoop that announced its impending existence. Wanna go out dancing on Friday? Can't, pal—I'd never miss The Huffpost Show.

The hosts: Who else but world-famous comedy duo Roy Sekoff (Huffington Post founding editor) and Marc Lamont Hill (hosts on HuffPost Live, the company's other streaming video endeavor)? So funny; love those guys. The trailer above delivers all the gut-busting HufPo-style humor we've come to expect, with jokes about race relations, ham sandwiches, and get this: Kim Kardashian's butt. Yep—Marc and Roy aren't afraid to go there.

For the sake of our funny bones, let's hope a few other well-endowed media organizations get into the TV show game with satirical shows. Of course, Vice is already balls-deep in child soldiers and improvised explosive devices, but why not Fusion, which already has cable network tools at its disposal? Imagine it: The Show About Nothing (Just Like The Website). Or how about The BuzzFeed Show, featuring a panel of realistically-proportioned women with mediocre haircuts who discuss the day's news, which consists mainly of bereaved fathers singing Beatles tunes to their dying infant sons and straight men wearing makeup for the first time (also the hosts are dressed as Disney princesses)?

If you listen closely, you can almost hear the eyeballs rolling in.

The coldest air many places have seen in years (and even decades) will descend upon the eastern U.S. this evening, producing dangerous and record-breaking low temperatures on Thursday and Friday stretching from the Great Lakes to the Gulf Coast. Lows close to zero will reach as far south as South Carolina.

This is a pretty ugly setup to see in the winter months, and it's one we more commonly see in January as opposed to the end of February. This afternoon's atmosphere features a deep upper-level trough digging through the eastern halves of Canada and the United States; while the West stays warm under a ridge, the steep north-south orientation of the jet stream is allowing a direct belt of Arctic air to filter deep into the United States, all the way down to the Gulf.http://thevane.gawker.com/dangerous-abno...

The resulting cold snap will shatter daily, monthly, and even all-time low temperatures records across many regions of the Ohio Valley, Appalachians, and Southeast on Thursday and Friday mornings. Areas farther to the west (Chicago and Indianapolis, for example) will experience the coldest weather tonight, while Friday morning looks to be the coldest in most of the Eastern Time Zone.

In the heart of the cold blast around the Ohio Valley, low temperatures on Friday morning will drop more than 30°C below average for this time of the year, bringing many locations to the brink of their all-time record low temperatures. For example, the lowest temperature ever recorded at the airport in Charleston, West Virginia, was -16°F back in January 1994. The Weather Channel predicts a low of -16°F on Friday morning. Records in Charleston date back to October 1948.

While other locations may not come close to breaking their coldest temperatures on record, many spots will likely break daily and monthly record lows. National Airport in Washington D.C. is a notoriously warm spot in the region, as its temperature readings are influenced by the airport's urban surroundings and location on the banks of the Potomac River. The airport's lowest February temperature was 4°F back in 1961, and that record could shatter like a thin sheet of ice if The Weather Channel's forecast of 0°F pans out on Friday morning.

These are just the low temperatures. Many locations will also set "record low maximum" temperatures on Friday, especially. A record low maximum is the coldest high temperature recorded on a particular date. At The Vane's nerdquarters in the middle of nowhere in central North Carolina, the high temperature on Friday will be 16°F. That will be the coldest high temperature we've seen since January 1972. It's a generational cold snap.

This blast of cold air still doesn't change the fact that this winter hasn't been as bad as it sounds both on the news and on social media. Outside of New England, the United States has had it relatively easy this year when it comes to cold weather. Temperatures in the eastern U.S. have largely been within one degree of normal, and a couple of days of extreme cold won't have much of an effect on three months' worth of averages.

The good news for the winter-weary among us is that a developing weekend storm will travel farther north than storms in the past week, allowing warmer weather and rain (liquid rain!) to fall on many areas that haven't been so lucky over the past week. The latest run of the GFS model suggests that a storm system colloquially known as a "Texas Hooker" will develop over the southern Plains on Friday and race towards the Great Lakes and New England on Saturday, briefly producing some snow and a wintry mix in the Mid-Atlantic and Northeast before warm air filters in and allows precipitation to fall as all rain.

This news is a mixed blessing—those of us in places like North Carolina will bask in the liquid sunshine and enjoy temperatures around 60°F on Sunday, but cities like Boston, which have about twelve million feet of snow on the ground, really don't need an abrupt warm-up accompanied by heavy rain. The sections of New England that have deep snow pack (read: everywhere in New England) will need to be on ready alert for some major flooding concerns if the track of the storm stays consistent with current predictions and a relatively warm rain falls on the region.

In the meantime, we have to get through this record bout of Arctic fun before we think about the warm-up. If you live in a region that doesn't typically experience temperatures this staggeringly cold, make sure you drip your faucets and take precautions to make sure your pipes don't freeze. Don't leave your pets outside over the next few nights, either—as the social media cliché goes, "if you're cold, they're cold."

Don't forget about the kids, either. Many school systems will opt to close for the day or operate on a delayed opening due to the bitter low temperatures on Thursday and Friday. If your school district decides to let kids come in late, make sure you wrap them in warmth like an educated burrito. A two- or three-hour delay for cold weather is just for show—it's designed to make you feel better while keeping the district from having to incur a lost instructional day. They know that there's not much difference between waiting for the bus at 6:30 AM and waiting for the bus at 8:30 AM, but it gives parents false comfort while doing nothing to keep kids from developing frostbite or hypothermia.

Make sure you, your kids, your pets, and your home are all well-protected over the next couple of days.

[Models: Tropical Tidbits | Chart: author, with data from xmACIS2]

You can follow the author on Twitter or send him an email.

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Amazing Bikini Body Kate Hudson was not always known as such. In the new issue of Shape, she reveals she only recently learned to eat and drink in moderation, while on vacation in Paris. She did not come to this realization on her own, however—the lesson was presented to her by another dame.

Kate recalls:

I was at my favorite French restaurant in Paris … eating everything I love … steak, fries, lots of wine. Then the dessert came, and I was having strawberries and cream pastries plus the wine. [Then,] a svelte, sophisticated woman approached [my] table. She pointed to my glass of wine. "This is your piece of cake. That's how you should be thinking." And I always try to remember that: Everything in moderation!

"This is your piece of cake," she said, pointing to the wine. "That's how you should be thinking."

How very, very rude. Here is how that scene would have gone down in America:

I was at my favorite United States restaurant in these big, beautiful, glorious United States … eating everything I love … steak, fries, lots of wine. Then the dessert came, and I was having strawberries and cream pastries plus the wine. [Then,] a svelte, sophisticated woman approached [my] table. She pointed to a piece of cake. "This is your piece of cake. Would you like another piece of cake?" And I always try to remember that.

Much better.

Attention France: Let Kate Hudson eat cake.

[Photo via Getty]

Lance Armstrong is finally taking responsibility, if only because he ran out of people to blame.

According to Aspen police, Armstrong was on his way home from a party earlier this month when he smashed into two parked cars and drove off. When police spoke with him the next day, he initially tried to pretend that the driver was Anna Hansen—his girlfriend and the mother of his children.

Lot of chutzpah for one of America's foremost public liars. Then again, this is the same guy who floated "you should have known I was full of shit the whole time" as a defense to fraud allegations.

Anyway, the ruse fell apart when a valet at the St. Regis told cops he remembered Armstrong in the driver's seat.

Hansen immediately confessed to her false confession and prosecutors were prepared to try him until he pleaded guilty this week to failing to report an accident and driving too fast for conditions.

So what, pray tell, is the lil' weasel's punishment? $238.50 paid by mail, four points on his license, and eventual restitution to the car owners. How many lives does this guy have????

[image via AP]