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Everything You Wrote in High School Is Embarrassing Garbage

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Everything You Wrote in High School Is Embarrassing Garbage

This month and next, millions of American youths are going to do something that most of us never have to ever again: Step into a classroom, and write down the most tortured prose that they and their hormone/flakka-addled brains can manage. So in the spirit of solidarity and self-loathing, let’s relive those angsty days of our youth, together.

Whether it’s in the form of actual paper buried in the back of your closet or a file sitting safely on your hard drive, odds are you have something deeply, horribly, painfully regrettable and written in a time when earnestness was all you knew. So why not dig ‘em up, bare your teenage soul below, and then thank god we never have to do this ever again.

Here, I’ll start.


Age: 17

Class: 1960s (?)

Title: The Graduate and the American Dream:

Everything You Wrote in High School Is Embarrassing Garbage


Age: 15

Class: English

Title: Huck’s Battle for Morality

Everything You Wrote in High School Is Embarrassing Garbage


Age: 15

Class: English

Title: Gospel Response Journals

Everything You Wrote in High School Is Embarrassing Garbage


Age: 16

Class: Intro to Sociology

Title: None.

Everything You Wrote in High School Is Embarrassing Garbage


And last but not least, a poem.

Age: 16

Class: Poetry: A Survey

Title: Very, very bad.

Everything You Wrote in High School Is Embarrassing Garbage

Now it’s your turn. And then let’s never speak of this again.


Contact the author at ashley@gawker.com.


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